Full Show PT 3: Tuesday, March 17 [Vault]

Summary

The Bert Show – Full Show PT 3: Tuesday, March 17 [Vault]

Date: March 17, 2026
Cast: Bert, Kristin, Abby, Cassie, Tommy, Joel, Trey, Jeff, Wendy, Melissa
(Episode content starts at 01:42, skipping ads and non-content)

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Episode Overview

This episode centers around a lively, candid discussion on relationships, marriage, and the sometimes comical, sometimes sobering realities of dating in adulthood. The show dives into Trey's ongoing (and increasingly questionable) quest to get married, explores the social pressures of being single, and shares the team’s superficial New Year's resolutions, peppered with humor and listener call-ins.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Trey’s Marriage “Challenge”

(01:42–18:25)

• Background:
  Trey annually claims he'll get married but never does, prompting his best friend Joel to take matters into his own hands by reserving hotel rooms and sending out save-the-dates for a supposed wedding (02:14–03:07).
• Radio Involvement:
  The Bert Show amplified Trey's challenge by bringing it to the airwaves—which led to a wave of date candidates and even involvement from Trey's mom (03:44–03:47).
• Outcome So Far:
  • Despite opportunities, Trey remains uncommitted, not currently in love, and only loosely entertains the idea of marrying for the challenge (04:08–04:30).
  • Trey's reflections: "Every human being I've met in a public setting has given me their opinion on marriage ... I'm a little jaded about the whole concept of marriage." (Trey, 04:36–05:04)
• Social Pressures and Stigma:
  The discussion shifts to societal perceptions—both men and women face suspicion if still unmarried in their 30s, 40s, or beyond.
  • "Why does it have to be that there's something wrong with you?" (Burt, 05:29–06:01)
  • "If you're a man who's in your mid-40s or near 50 and you've never been married, a woman's gonna look at you ... women will judge you for that." (Melissa, 06:38–06:50)
• Dating Experiences:
  Trey only went on two actual dates out of a wave of emails, found many participants “dependent,” and grew skeptical of their motives:
  • "Some of the girls that I met ... after the second or third date, I could see these dependency issues ... are they really into me, or are they just into this whole concept?" (Trey, 13:12–13:56)

Notable Quote:

“I wouldn’t bet that I’m getting married to somebody I love. I might still get married just to get married, because I said I was gonna get married.”
– Trey (16:59)

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2. Listener Call-Ins & Marriage Perceptions

(10:17–16:23)

• Caller Perspective:
  A 43-year-old single woman calls in, sharing she's “happy by myself” (10:19–10:36), underlining that many prefer solitude over unsuitable partnerships.
• Stigma Discussion:
  The show debates whether singles in their 30s/40s lie about being divorced to dodge judgment (11:04–11:12).
• Matchmaking Pressure:
  Friends often try to couple up single friends, even when they're content solo (11:13–11:31).

Notable Quote:

“I’d rather be alone than with a horrible relationship.”
– Caller Arlene (10:32)

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3. Superficial New Year’s Resolutions

(20:33–30:43)

• Bert: Wants to finally catch a marlin after years of failed attempts (20:33–22:45).
• Wendy: Hopes to date an NFL player (even if it's just the cousin of one) and sit in the family section during a game (24:39–25:33).
• Melissa: Lands a voiceover gig in a video game thanks to her radio visibility (23:05–23:37).
• Jeff: Seeks to be a contestant on a game show—and win, preferably a tangible prize (23:41–24:23).
• Joel: Aims to play an entire round of decent golf (22:45–22:58).

Memorable Moment:

When Wendy shares she was contacted on MySpace by a hopeful NFL Combine recruit and plans to meet up with him—potentially fulfilling her resolution in January:

“Ooh, Destiny, this is fun ... So we exchanged a couple emails ... We will be hanging out tonight.”
– Wendy (27:17–28:01)

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Notable Quotes & Moments (with Timestamps)

• On Marriage Jadedness:

  "It's amazing the amount of people that are unhappy right now in their marriage." (Trey, 05:11)

• On Social Judgment:

  "If you’ve tried it once and you failed, all of a sudden you have more credibility." (Burt, 06:50)

• On Blind Dating Burnout:

  “You go on one of these and you meet and then you talk for an hour ... it just drags and drags ... it was kind of brutal.” (Trey, 12:09–12:38)

• Listener Skepticism:

  “If he wants to get married that badly, [the women who contact him] are not anybody you would really want to be in a relationship with anyway. So that kind of turned me off ... I just don’t want to make a bad decision or wrong choice again.” (Caller Mary, 14:22–16:00)

• On Competition Among Dates:

  “Half the people that contacted me were desperate ... but the other half were competitive. Literally, the girls were like, I have to win this thing regardless of what it is.” (Trey, 16:06–16:23)

• On Goal Setting and Lowering the Bar:

  “Sometimes you go for the quarterback. The other time you just get the punter or the long snapper.” (Wendy, 30:35)

---

Segment Timestamps

• 01:42–18:25: Trey's Marriage Challenge, listener perspectives, and marriage skepticism.
• 18:25–20:33: Ad break (skipped).
• 20:33–30:43: Cast shares superficial New Year's Resolutions; Wendy’s NFL dating quest.

---

Tone and Style

The episode’s tone is unabashedly humorous, honest, and self-deprecating, with the hosts routinely poking fun at themselves and each other. The discussions, especially those about marriage and dating, blend candid reflection with sarcasm, keeping the episode both insightful and entertaining.

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Final Thoughts

For anyone who feels the pressure to settle down—or is just tired of awkward blind dates—this episode is both relatable and cathartic. The Bert Show continues to shine for its authenticity and wit in tackling the highs and lows of adult relationships and life’s lighter challenges.

Transcript

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[Announcer]

The fruit show.

[Burt]

Well, they are back. Hello, boys.

[Trey]

Morning.

[Burt]

Good morning. How are you, Joel?

[Joel]

I'm fantastic. How are you? Are you Trey?

[Trey]

I'm doing well, thanks for asking. How are you? Happy New Year to you as well.

[Burt]

You seem very cheery today. I am cheery today.

[Trey]

We have to be cheery. It's a new year.

[Wendy]

Are you engaged?

[Burt]

Is it because you're in love?

[Trey]

I am not engaged yet.

[Jeff]

A week and a half. So you're all right?

[Trey]

I've got 13 days, so we've got plenty of time. We're going to crack down here pretty soon.

[Burt]

All right, let's just reset this here real quick. Let's reset this real quick. It was Joel. This was Joel's idea. The Best friend's idea. And each and every year Trey's complaining that he doesn't have a woman and he's not married. So the best friend, Joel, got proactive and tell him what the plan was.

[Joel]

I've done everything I can, Burt. My friend's a loser.

[Burt]

You don't have a lot to work with you.

[Joel]

And I've had this conversation, you know, we do stupid stuff all the time. So I came to Trey and was like, all right, you know what, we're going to try something else this year. Every year he's come to me and said, I'm getting married, I'm getting married. So I got a little bit proactive, sent out some save the date information, reserved some hotel rooms, put a deposit

[Jeff]

down on those rooms.

[Joel]

I put a deposit down on Trey and one of our other buddies rooms.

[Jeff]

So the two of you will get married if nobody else shows up.

[Wendy]

Which room is the honeymoon going to be in?

[Joel]

We decided the one with the heart shaped tub. Love it. But no. We basically kind of put a little bit of meat behind a challenge to Trey and said, hey, you know, you're gonna have to get married January 17, 2009. And so I threw the challenge out to him. He said, alright, let's do that. That sounds fun. And so then as the story goes, we brought it to you and you decided that maybe this could get a little bit more steam behind it if we did on the radio. And then it helped. He got a lot of dates out of it and then he's a complete loser and won't follow through with it.

[Burt]

Now we got it. We did. We got a ton of emails.

[Joel]

Yes.

[Burt]

And we set you up.

[Melissa]

Had your mom in here.

[Burt]

Had your mom in here and everything. Had them all lined up.

[Trey]

And you know, I want to tell Joel exactly what I told him last year. I'm getting married next year. So I mean that's, let's not question the facts here. You know, like I told him last year, I'll get married next year. So everything's fine.

[Burt]

So it doesn't look like it's going to happen out in Vegas.

[Trey]

Well, it doesn't look like it's going to happen, but we've learned something. I'm not ruling it out. I still have a flight reserved on my sky miles, which, you know, if anybody with sky miles, you can cancel that. But I'm telling people that I'm not completely ruling it out because I've got some things going on in my head, but I'm not in love right now.

[Joel]

Are you Tell them what you told me this morning. Trey, what are your thoughts on marriage?

[Trey]

When I started this. Since I've started this, every human being I've met in a public setting has given me their opinion on marriage.

[Burt]

Oh, yeah.

[Trey]

Oh, yeah.

[Burt]

That's good.

[Jeff]

That'd be fun.

[Trey]

Literally, every conversation I've been in, from relatives to the people that I meet through work and in the bars, people find out I'm doing this, and they heard about me on the Bird show, so. So they tell me what they think about marriage. So to be completely honest, I'm a little jaded about the whole concept of marriage.

[Burt]

So they're not endorsing marriage. What they're saying is, be sure you know what you're doing here, because it's not a great institution.

[Jeff]

Save yourself, fool.

[Burt]

Save yourself.

[Trey]

Yeah. It's amazing the amount of people that are unhappy right now in their marriage.

[Jeff]

It's great.

[Wendy]

Trey's just a commitment phobe. He's gonna be like George Clooney. You're not gonna ever be him. I know.

[Burt]

Here's the thing. How old are you now, Trey?

[Trey]

I am 26.

[Burt]

How old are you now, Trevor?

[Trey]

I am 35.

[Burt]

Okay, here's the thing. And it's sort of, I think, that there's this misconception, like, if you're 32, 33, 34, 35, 40, 42, or whatever, and you're not married, all of a sudden you're thinking, okay, maybe I'm not a great. Maybe I'm doing something wrong here. Well, the truth is, maybe you just haven't found the right person yet. Maybe there's nothing wrong with you at all in other people's cases. Maybe there's nothing wrong with them and they just haven't found the right. Why does it have to be that there's something wrong with you?

[Trey]

I agree. And the interesting thing is, if, you know, we're doing. We did this whole piece in the south, which is more. Everybody's got to be married when they're 21. If we did this in New York City or in la, I guarantee it. Well, LA would be a little weird, but New York or up north, we probably would have had a different result. Because, like, you're saying, people do expect. You know, one of my thoughts going into this thing was, I'll get married. Because if I get married and divorced, and then I'm 40, 41, 45 with a divorce, I look less like a psycho than I do if I'm 40, 45, and have never been married.

[Burt]

That is true. I Think that is true? Don't you guys agree with that?

[Melissa]

Absolutely.

[Jeff]

Barely. But yeah.

[Melissa]

Yeah, I agree with that. If you're a man who's in your mid-40s or near 50 and you've never been married, a woman's gonna look at you. I mean, everybody's trying to be nice, but yeah, women will judge you for that.

[Burt]

And it goes with women also. If you've never been married and you're in your late 30s or early 40s, guys are thinking, well, there's got to be a reason for that. But if you've been. If you've tried it once and you failed, all of a sudden you have more credibility.

[Trey]

Yep.

[Burt]

That didn't make any sense. So you said you have some things floating around, so the possibility is sort of there. It sounds pretty slim, right? But are there, is there at least one woman that you would seriously like if a gun was to your head right now? Is there one of the women that you're dating right now you'd say, you know what? I think I can make it work.

[Joel]

I.

[Trey]

There's a couple people I could marry. I'm pretty sure that would.

[Jeff]

Would they marry you?

[Trey]

Yes, they would do it.

[Jeff]

There's a bold statement right there.

[Trey]

I think, you know, this is my gut feeling. It could be completely wrong, but if it came down to it and there was a gun to my head, I think I could, could get a couple of people to say,

[Jeff]

if I got him drunk, I could make it work.

[Burt]

Wendy, you haven't bought into this since day one. You, you said since day one he was never going to get married.

[Wendy]

I just don't think Trey can commit to anybody. Even if you like somebody, I don't think he could commit like even two months.

[Trey]

Why do you think that?

[Wendy]

Have you committed to anybody in two months? In a year?

[Trey]

No. See, but, but still, I've been dating lots of people. In this period of time that you've kind of seen me operate, have you

[Burt]

ever been in a long term relationship?

[Trey]

I have. I have been in a three year relationship. Thank you very much.

[Wendy]

Congratulations.

[Trey]

That ended awfully. And then I've been in a. No, it didn't end.

[Jeff]

How long have you and Joel been dating?

[Trey]

Joel and I have been together for about two years now, off and on.

[Wendy]

Do you guys need to break up in order to find a girl?

[Joel]

I haven't any trouble.

[Trey]

Speaking of marriage, I was gonna say,

[Jeff]

has this gotten you any closer to,

[Joel]

I mean, to tag on what Trey's saying? You know, this has gotten lots of reasons not to. After all this.

[Burt]

What are you hearing? Like, I'm curious. First of all, half the guys coming up to you, I'm assuming, is when you're either doing gigs in bars or you're at bars. So they're hammered, right?

[Jeff]

Right.

[Burt]

So the guys that are approaching you that are married in bars, what are they telling you about marriage? What's the thing that scares you the most?

[Joel]

Couple of things.

[Trey]

The guys are just like, you're crazy. And that's it. That's the end of the conversation. The girls, however, want to have the 30 minute to an hour conversation about exactly how they feel about marriage and this and that. And what I've found is a lot of people are together in their marriage just for the kids, which is. I guess this is people that have been married for a while. And it's just kind of depressing, actually. You know, it's not. It's like people aren't in for each other. They're in for the kids or they're getting out or they're cheating or. It's just unbelievable what's going on out there.

[Jeff]

Well, this is taking a happy turn.

[Burt]

I mean, it's taking an honest turn. I mean, I think I saw. I saw a survey a couple of weeks ago that was done with people that were married over seven years and asked them if they would marry the same person over again. And 75% of the respondents said, no way. I believe that after seven years of marriage, so.

[Jeff]

And 20% of the remaining ones were scared that their significant other was going to find out about the survey, so they lied.

[Trey]

But, you know, it's true. It's like. Like I said, I've been bombarded by people that want to talk about marriage and what they think, and it's not a positive thing. Maybe I'm in the wrong place. I don't know. It's weird out there.

[Burt]

Good morning, arlene. You're on Q100.

[Caller]

Hey, I just wanted to make a comment about you saying if you're in your 40s and you're a woman, you've never been married. People look at you. I'm sure that's true, but I'm 43 and I've never been married and I'm happy by myself.

[Burt]

Cool.

[Caller]

I'd rather be. I'd rather be alone than with a horrible relationship.

[Burt]

I could not agree more.

[Jeff]

I don't think anybody.

[Burt]

There are so many people that are with somebody for the wrong reasons completely than to be by yourself for the right.

[Caller]

There are plenty of them that got married for the wrong reasons, and I would never want to do something like that. So I think I'm better off.

[Jeff]

Well, no, I don't think anybody's questioning the happiness of the person who chose to stay single. I think the reality of it is there's a stigma attached to that. So while you're completely happy, everyone thinks you're a spinster.

[Melissa]

Spinster.

[Burt]

I wonder if there's anybody that's single, like in their late 30s, early 40s, that lies to other people, that has been single their whole life and lies and said, yeah, I've been divorced.

[Melissa]

I'm sure.

[Sponsor Announcer]

Depends.

[Melissa]

It depends. And I think that people, people who are single, like, we talk about it, but I think if anybody in your circles were in their 40s and never been married and were single, you're the friends are the first ones to try to hook you up with somebody or, oh, I got somebody you need to meet. And, you know, and people just don't want to be, I don't know, coupled if they've chosen not to be.

[Burt]

How many actual dates have you gone on in this whole process? Because we're talking about four or five months now. So how many dates we talking about?

[Trey]

Probably two. Two dates. Two dates, yeah.

[Burt]

So you've really committed.

[Trey]

We've got six emails and we went on two dates. It was awes. Probably I've met personally met probably 25 people. And to be honest, it was a little overwhelming when we started on the radio. You know, we were. Or I was getting bombarded by emails, so it was hard to meet these people. Plus, every single one of these dates was a blind date. And, you know, those can be brutal, like I've said on the, on the radio before. So it just got kind of taxing and depressive, actually. So I didn't go on as many as I could have. I kind of became a recluse a little bit, I think. And towards the end and, you know, it's just, you go on one of these and you meet and then you talk for an hour, and it's. It's interesting to talk to the person for 20, 30 minutes, but then it just drags and drags and do that over and over and over. It's kind of brutal.

[Jeff]

So what the Bird show's involvement has done to you has made you one of those contracts who don't leave their house and also has soured you toward the future of life with one person.

[Burt]

Well, here's what. Well, here's really what we've done here is there isn't over the last couple of months. There is no alternative. Because what you're saying is all your married friends are telling you marriage sucks, and you've been dating all these women for the last couple of months, and the single life sucks, too.

[Trey]

So I like the single life. You know, I don't have. I enjoy my place right now, but

[Jeff]

Joel would just get off my back.

[Trey]

Sorry. But I. The girl. It's interesting. A lot of the people that contacted me and you guys know this from the early days were very dependent individuals. You know, I had a lot of people that. I showed you some emails where, hey, I'll marry you, you know. Oh, okay. Kind of weird. So some of the girls that I met and that I was attracted to and, you know, we kind of meshed a little bit after the second or third date, I could see these dependency issues. You know, we find out about the past and where they're coming from, and it was like, they just want to be married. That is their whole goal. So then I was thinking, you know, are they really into me, or are they just into this whole concept, which is kind of bad news? So that ruined me a little bit, too.

[Burt]

This is a little bit like Kimberly, who we've been talking to the last couple of weeks also. She just wants to be married so badly. It's just stuck in her head.

[Melissa]

But they probably felt they were safe here because you set a date for the church and didn't even know anybody to marry. So it's funny to hear you say that. Well, they just wanted the concept of getting married and wanted to get married. So I think for them, they probably felt safe with you because you were doing the same thing.

[Announcer]

Right?

[Joel]

Yeah.

[Burt]

Mary's gonna put this one squarely on you. Hey, Mary, you're on Q100.

[Caller]

Hi. How are you?

[Burt]

Good. How are you?

[Caller]

I'm doing pretty good, thanks. You know, I've been listening. I've been to the Burt show for years, and I thought it was really cute when Trey came on and was talking about getting married. I thought it was very sweet. And, you know, I'd actually love to be in a relationship, and I have been married before, and I'm looking for that right person. And. And, you know, I didn't want to email because I thought, gosh, if he wants to get married that badly, you know, it was kind of like, I bet the people that are going to contact him are the ones that are so desperate to get married. I mean, they're not anybody you would really want to be in a relationship with anyway. So that kind of Turned me off, and, you know, I thought, why waste my time?

[Burt]

So what are you saying? It was just a. It's a desperate concept, and only desperate people would participate in it.

[Caller]

I wouldn't say it's necessarily a desperate concept or desperate people would only participate in it. I just. I just felt like, well, if he's really set on getting married, then he's so much more likely to make the wrong decision in the first place. And why would I want to be involved in somebody who was. Who was, you know, possibly going to be somebody who would make a bad decision and include me in it, and then maybe I would get clouded and, you know, I think everybody's made bad decisions, and I'm at the point in my life where I just don't want to make a bad decision or wrong choice again. Therefore, I try not to get too involved in relationships that, you know, have preconceived notions of the way things should be.

[Jeff]

What are you doing on January 17?

[Burt]

What are you getting out of that, Trey?

[Trey]

It's. It's interesting. She said that. I agree with her that half the people that contacted me were desperate, you know, or not desperate, but really wanted to be married. But the other half were competitive. I found, you know, literally, the girls were like, I have to win this thing regardless of what. What it is.

[Wendy]

It's like the Bachelor.

[Trey]

And people were telling me they're like, girls are competitive, and they'll. You know, they'll do this just to compete with other girls. And I didn't believe it, but it. It did show a little bit.

[Jeff]

Is there anyone. Any girl who cried around you within seven days of meeting you?

[Trey]

I don't think we had any criers. We had a couple of clingers, okay?

[Joel]

Had some clingers and some stalkers.

[Jeff]

I had a stage five clinger.

[Trey]

We had some clingers, which were awesome,

[Burt]

but not gonna happen. So bottom line here is, if you were a betting man and you were going to Vegas, you wouldn't bet that you're getting married. It's not gonna happen.

[Trey]

I wouldn't bet. Well, I don't know about getting married. I wouldn't bet that I'm getting married to somebody I love. I might still get married just to get married, because I said I was gonna get married.

[Melissa]

So don't do that.

[Joel]

I wouldn't care. He'll do it.

[Melissa]

We just talked about statistics on marriages that don't work, anything. You know what? Don't get married.

[Burt]

Some women are going, that's a man of his word right there.

[Trey]

Thank you.

[Burt]

He's gonna get married because he said he was going to.

[Wendy]

No, you're just gonna get it annulled.

[Trey]

No, I mean, I might get married because I said I was gonna get married on the 17th. One, follow through. And two, I'll have a divorce, which will make me better than not having a divorce.

[Joel]

And a great story.

[Trey]

It might work.

[Burt]

So of the potential women listening right now, they already know that. Yeah. You're gonna marry them just because you said you would.

[Trey]

Oh, no, no. It's love.

[Joel]

Mm.

[Trey]

About love, Joel.

[Burt]

Those two women, or whatever it is that you're that are still in the running, are thinking, you know, what if I could just get him to marry me, I know I can change them. I know I can make this work.

[Trey]

Just give it a chance.

[Joel]

Just give it a chance.

[Trey]

Give it a. Just give it a chance.

[Burt]

All right, so there's your update. You guys have been emailing now for a couple of weeks. It is what it is right now. It doesn't look like there's anybody that he's very excited about marrying, but the marriage still may be on just because he told everybody he would do it. That's it. That's it.

[Jeff]

Seems like there's something else. There's something else.

[Burt]

No, that's it. It's just kind of laying there.

[Trey]

It's just it.

[Announcer]

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[Burt]

each one of us made superficial New Year's resolutions going into 2009. That's right. Mine this year is I just. I want to catch a marlin. I want to catch a marlin. I've been trying for years and years and years. I can't even tell you how many hours I've logged on like deep sea fish fishing deals, how much money I have spent. Not even a bite. Not even a damn bite. That's all I want is a marlin.

[Jeff]

This year I tried to find the pictures of me at age 12.

[Burt]

Yeah, Jeff was rubbing it in because he's caught like nine of them already.

[Wendy]

I caught one when I was.

[Jeff]

Well, it doesn't really count. And I didn't.

[Melissa]

It's talking about competition in this room, Dan, back from when you were 12.

[Jeff]

It was one of those things where I didn't realize what I was.

[Melissa]

It's Bert's dream.

[Jeff]

What I was trying to say, this is about birth.

[Melissa]

This is not about you.

[Jeff]

I was trying to say when I brought it up was it's very possible because it's just luck of the draw because like the very first time I was ever out on a boat like that, you know, there you go.

[Burt]

First time I was ever on a boat. It came so naturally to me.

[Melissa]

I wasn't even a teenager yet.

[Jeff]

It was like 11 or 12. Feel bad going on with the story, but I will. And so they set the whole thing up for you. Because I'm a kid, I don't know. And they're just like, okay, this one's yours. And then I was sitting there and then all the other people were over on the other side of the boat, like having beers. And all of a sudden the line

[Melissa]

started to go so is it because I'm not familiar with Detroit.

[Burt]

It's in a state.

[Jeff]

The ride's in a stand.

[Melissa]

Okay.

[Burt]

You don't do anything except hold it when they catch it for you, and then you are the one that brings it in.

[Melissa]

Oh, hold on, Bert. Jeff's done it.

[Jeff]

Well, you don't even get. When you're 12, you don't get to burn. You don't even really get to hold it.

[Burt]

I may have to change my superficial

[Jeff]

goal, but my point was it's very possible because I just got lucky.

[Melissa]

So you were trying to encourage Bert.

[Announcer]

Yeah.

[Jeff]

Telling him about when I caught one when I was 12.

[Burt]

Very encouraging.

[Melissa]

And you did it more than once, or just that?

[Jeff]

No, just once.

[Melissa]

Just that time.

[Jeff]

I think maybe I got one when

[Wendy]

I was 14, when I was 5.

[Jeff]

You know what? I got one actually in Lake Hartwell last summer.

[Burt]

So I think I read the Old man in the Sea when I was like, 20 years old, and it was at that point where I'm like, I've got to catch a marlin. And it's been 20 years and it still hasn't happened. So that was mine for this year. What was yours, Jen?

[Wendy]

I want to play a decent 18 holes of golf.

[Joel]

Yeah.

[Burt]

I mean, and that takes a lot. I mean, you just can't go out there and do it. So it's going to take some effort.

[Wendy]

Yeah. And I played as a kid, so I'm hoping it'll be like riding a bike, but I have a feeling it'll be a little more challenging than that.

[Burt]

You know, Jeff is a scratch golfer.

[Trey]

Oh, yeah.

[Announcer]

You know, I hit a hole in

[Jeff]

one when I was nine.

[Wendy]

Luck of the draw, Jen.

[Melissa]

Just luck of the draw. And Melissa being, you know, being the geek on the show and loving gaming and, you know, anime and all that stuff, I thought, you know what? I'm in radio. I think what a really cool thing would be is to do some kind of voiceover work in something, whether it be the video game, whether it be some kind of animation, and so close. Close to it. There is a studio in Alpharetta called hi Rez Studios that has a new multiplayer game that they're releasing called Global Agenda. And they made the offer in December after hearing that on the show, for me to come in. So in February, first week in February, I'm going in and talking to them and doing all that.

[Burt]

So you're going to be in a video game. And Jeff, what was yours?

[Jeff]

To get on a game show and win a prize, which you could say you've already done.

[Burt]

Done that. I want $600 or something like that. It still is on it.

[Trey]

You brought home a check or a,

[Jeff]

you know, showcase, a Winnebago and a moped or whatever from a game show. And I would like to go to a game show and win something. Because I think going and coming home with nothing is like, what's the point in that? But if you go and even come home with whatever, I think you even get a consolation prize set of patio furniture or a copy of the home game. I think that all counts. So.

[Melissa]

Oh, yeah,

[Announcer]

you know what I mean?

[Melissa]

But if you get something, that's.

[Burt]

If you suck, that means if you were really, really bad, then you walk home with the home edition.

[Jeff]

But that's okay because you'd bring it home and then, like, you put it on a shelf in your house and you're like, oh, yeah, that's from the time I was on whatever, you know, deal or no Deal or whatever.

[Trey]

Sure.

[Burt]

And Wendy appears to be knocking on the door, actually, of her 2009 superficial big one.

[Wendy]

I believe the stars are starting to align for mine, Mine. My superficial goal is to date or is to date an NFL player and be. I know it sounds cheesy, but whatever.

[Mood.com Advertiser]

Single.

[Melissa]

And you're. I mean, why not?

[Burt]

Why not?

[Melissa]

Yes.

[Wendy]

So it was to date an NFL player, or we actually just put it to athlete, athletes, brothers, cousin, whatever.

[Melissa]

I could get at that point, connected to a team somehow.

[Burt]

We're lowering the bar each week, setting

[Wendy]

it really low, and to sit in the family section for the game to next fall. So whenever NFL start football starts back up, I would be in their section ready to go cheering on my man who's playing football.

[Burt]

All right, so let me clarify what the goal is here. Is the goal just to date a football player, or is it to date a football player long enough to sit in the family section? Because this could be two totally different things here.

[Wendy]

Yeah, long enough to sit in the family section.

[Burt]

You're too far out from the season. You need to put this off for, like, seven months. But you have to date this guy for an entire year in order to get in the family section.

[Melissa]

Let's not knock her down before she. I see what you're saying, but I want to hear what going on.

[Jeff]

Okay, so I dated an NFL player.

[Wendy]

By the way,

[Melissa]

I wore his junior high school jersey.

[Wendy]

Okay, so yesterday afternoon, I'm browsing through my MySpace, just checking messages, blah, blah, blah. Well, I get this message from this guy, his name is Matt or whatever, and I open it up. And he was like, hey, I know this is going to sound really random, but I'm new in town. I don't know a single person. I'm here training for the NFL Combine.

[Burt]

Booyah.

[Wendy]

The NFL combine is where they sort of. They bring all the players together who have been training the college players who have graduated, ready to go into the draft. They bring them all together to scout for the NFL teams. So the combines, in, like, two months,

[Jeff]

it's like, to put it in your terms, Melissa, it's like back in the 4H meetings when they would bring the cows into the thing and walk them around once before people would start bidding on him at the cow and pig auction.

[Burt]

Check his gums, right? Make sure his belly looks.

[Melissa]

Just being mean to me. But I certainly have been to Knoxville and I've been to the Freud center many times in Columbia.

[Burt]

So this guy, he's not an NFL player yet, but he's a college player that might be. So he has to go for this. Basically a tryout for all the teams where they see how fast you can run and how high you can jump. And if your scores are high, then. Then you'll get drafted into the NFL.

[Wendy]

Gotcha. And your agent's pulling for you. So he has an agent, all this stuff. So. But you have to be good enough to get into the combine. Absolutely.

[Melissa]

Get there.

[Joel]

Right.

[Burt]

I'm not sure if everybody's invited or there's just a certain amount of invitations. I'm not really sure how that works.

[Melissa]

To me, that's destiny. If he ran. If a dude that's about to be potentially in the NFL next season randomly emails. Wendy, oh, I'm just. I'm in town and I don't know anybody.

[Wendy]

It was very random. He's like, I was just browsing on here, and just, like, the first person I saw, I decided to message you.

[Burt]

So. And he knew he was coming to Atlanta. He probably searched Atlanta? He's in Atlanta now?

[Wendy]

Yes.

[Burt]

Okay. Does he live here?

[Wendy]

No, no, no, no. He has. He's got just a couple of family members here, but he's not from here at all. And said he didn't know anybody, was trying to meet people so he could go out. Just got here on Saturday, so I sent him a message back, and I was like, hey, how's it going? Blah, blah, blah, really fast. I was like, ooh, Destiny, this is fun. So we exchanged a couple emails back and forth, and then eventually he just dropped his number in there. He was like, seriously, I just need to go out, meet Some people meet some friends. I'm gonna be here for a while. So we exchanged a couple text messages last night and then exchanged phone conversation last night. And we will be hanging out tonight.

[Burt]

Booyah.

[Wendy]

Okay, so this could be potential. Maybe.

[Melissa]

But now going back to what Bert said, it is January, so that is a long, long way. Like what, August, September.

[Wendy]

But not even. Yeah, but not even that. He's like an NFL dude. We actually had a really good conversation last night.

[Caller]

Blah, blah, blah.

[Wendy]

No, I'm serious.

[Burt]

Your bar is going to come down lower because your goal is to date an NFL player. So even if he doesn't meet the right criteria, I say you go for it.

[Melissa]

Let's reiterate. Is this a superficial goal? It is. So I know we're being contradictory to relationships and loving the person. So superficial goal is to go out with a NFL.

[Wendy]

And Sean would call you desperate because he met him online.

[Burt]

Yeah, totally. But it wasn't an online dating site.

[Wendy]

It wasn't a dating site.

[Burt]

Although some would call Facebook in MySpace that.

[Joel]

Yeah.

[Burt]

Good morning, Kristen. You're on Q100.

[Caller]

Hey, good morning, Virtual.

[Melissa]

Good morning.

[Caller]

I was just telling her that I work for a company that ironically, the players that are going to the draft are living in this area for the next 10 months for their training. I just met a couple of them yesterday. I don't know if I can disclose what teams they're going for or whatnot, but I know that where they're staying and where they're training and their training has begun. They train twice a day at like 8am and 2pm and then they are gone as of March 1. They all go back home and then they wait for the phone call. But the ones that are here already know they're going to the draft and they're picked for the first. First round. They're favored to go in the first round draft.

[Burt]

Wow. So, okay, cool. So this is the real deal, right?

[Jeff]

And that's what they need is a distraction. That's what they need before they sign a seven figure contract. Is Wendy parading back and forth, waving, going, I just want to get to the family section.

[Burt]

Need personal life a little bit. Get out, see the town a little bit.

[Trey]

Yeah.

[Wendy]

Why is the, the NFL combine held here? Well, it's not. It's not held here. The training facility is here, though. Training is here.

[Trey]

Okay.

[Wendy]

One of the top notch training facilities is just out of Atlanta, so why

[Jeff]

don't you get an internship there? You could call, give massages or something.

[Burt]

Look how she used the secret, though. She said she was going to date an NFL player and then out of nowhere, dude, it's going to be drafted into the NFL.

[Jeff]

Well, the problem is when I don't think you have the confidence to pull off the secret yet, because before this it was date a celebrity and he ended up with David Cook's brother.

[Wendy]

So I think sometimes you shoot for the moon and you end up in the stars.

[Burt]

Does a magician get it right the very first time? No, they. They probably fall a bit shy before they learn how to do the magic trick correct.

[Wendy]

Yeah, sometimes you go for the quarterback. The other time you just get the punter or the long snapper. I mean, I don't really care at this point. I'm just kidding.

[Jeff]

Sometimes you're the salmon, sometimes you're the bear.

[Melissa]

Get it?

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