The Bert Show – Full Show PT 3: Wednesday, April 8 [Vault]

Date: April 8, 2026
Cast: Bert (Host), various co-hosts/callers

Episode Overview

This episode of The Bert Show delivers the usual blend of humor, authentic conversation, and lively listener participation that makes the morning show both relatable and entertaining. The main themes explored include:

• The myth of whether men can fake sexual climax
• The debate over "safe grad" parties with teenage drinking
• Listeners' stories of prayers instantly answered
  Each segment features candid exchanges, honest confessions, and spirited debate, with both hosts and listeners weighing in.

Segment 1: Sexual Myth Busting – Can Men Fake the "Big O"?

Theme: Debunking myths about male sexuality, specifically whether men can convincingly fake an orgasm

Key Discussion Points:

• Bert expresses anxiety about whether men will call in on this typically vulnerable topic:

  "I'm always a little nervous when we're asking guys to call up for brutal honesty." (02:02)

• The cast discusses the perceived improbability of men faking it because of "physical evidence":

  "There's evidence, so to speak." (02:43)

• Bert shares a personal anecdote: his brother-in-law went to elaborate lengths (using spit as evidence) to fake orgasm during attempts to conceive (03:44).
• The team banters over whether women would really be fooled and what motivates such acts—suggesting wishful thinking or naïveté sometimes plays a role.
• Multiple male callers confirm it is possible and happens more often than women might believe, especially with inexperienced partners or when using protection.

Notable Quotes:

• "You think that it's. Logically. It doesn't make any sense, right?...There's a bit of a difference there between a woman and a guy." (02:35) — Bert
• "I know it's possible because I know my brother in law has done that. He and my sister in law...they agreed on it...but he still sort of sketched out by the idea of becoming a father." (02:56) — Bert
• "Spit and then put it on the sheets." (04:25) — Bert, revealing technique
• "There are just times you can't and after a while you're just like, the fun of this is over." (11:03) — Bert
• "Guys are as good at faking it as women are. I guess. It is jacked up." (12:26) — Bert

Callers’ Insights:

• Ron (05:58): "Yeah, I've faked it both ways. I faked having an orgasm and not having an orgasm."
• Justin (voice disguised, 09:22): "It's very easily done with protection...Most of them come with lubrication and if it's a girl that's not got a lot of experience...just pull it off and be like, oh yeah, there it is. And then throw it out."

Memorable Moments:

• The cast jokes about whether women are "dumb" for being fooled, but ultimately lands on the role of inexperience or strong desire clouding judgment.
• Bert draws a parallel between men and women faking pleasure, agreeing the motivations (boredom, wanting to be done, pressure) can often be the same.

Timestamps:

• Start of segment: 02:02
• Bert's brother-in-law anecdote: 02:56–04:25
• First caller (Ron): 05:58
• Justin on voice disguiser: 09:22
• Wrap-up summary: 12:26

Segment 2: Should Parents Allow Teen Drinking in Supervised "Safe Grad" Parties?

Theme: The morality, legality, and practicality of supervised high school parties where teens can drink with parental oversight

Key Discussion Points:

• Story from North Dakota involving a school-sanctioned grad party where parents must sign off, and students prepay for up to 10 drinks each (beer, vodka, rum, rye).

  "You can bring some friends with you. The graduates…have to pre order and prepay for the alcohol that they were going to drink. And the party was going to take place from 9pm to 2am." (15:09–16:39)

• The cast highlights that 10 drinks is excessive—well into "binge drinking" territory (five is the usual benchmark).

  "The president of MAD obviously is having a big time problem with this…10 drinks, everybody's allowed to have 10 drinks." (17:04)

• Legalities discussed: Some call-in clarification that in certain areas (e.g., Georgia), laws may allow minors to drink at home under adult supervision, but this is disputed by other listeners and the cast.

  "If the adult is 25 or over, minors between the ages of 17 and 21 are allowed to drink in their own home." (22:30)

• Personal stories: Several co-hosts and listeners share their own teen drinking incidents—some under supposed supervision that failed, others without any adults present.

Notable Quotes:

• "Regardless of whether, I mean, they get the parents permission or not, it's still illegal, right?" (17:19) — Co-host
• "I don't believe in partying with your kids...But I do think it's a better idea to have your kids, friends drink in your home." (25:06) — Caller
• "I think the idea that a parent does this and it would deter your kids from being rebellious outside is naive." (26:42) — Co-host

Memorable Moments:

• Hilarious side note about a party house enforcing which gender (and orientation) is allowed to sleep on specific floors:

  "The girls sleep upstairs and the guys sleep downstairs. Unless you're gay. If you're gay, the guy can sleep upstairs…" (25:46)

• Caller Intern Joanna recounts throwing a hidden keg party that got busted, nearly resulting in her mother’s arrest (23:48).
• Extended debate over whether supervised or unsupervised teen drinking is “less bad,” with no clear consensus but lots of validation for open family communication.

Timestamps:

• Party details: 15:09–16:47
• Discussion of legality: 17:19–18:40, 22:30–23:44
• Parent debate: 19:07–29:45

Segment 3: Have You Ever Had a Prayer Instantly Answered?

Theme: Exploring stories of prayers being immediately or miraculously answered—seeking dramatic, impactful examples

Key Discussion Points:

• Prompt inspired by a news story: “A woman in Austell says a man stopped his assault on her after she began to pray out loud.” (32:37)
• Bert asks listeners for stories where a prayer was instantly and unexplainably answered—not after weeks, but almost immediately.

  "Is there anybody listening right now that had their prayer to God Instantly answered?" (33:00)

• Listeners call in with stories ranging from weather clearing for a wedding, surprise financial gifts, and instant healings.

Notable Quotes:

• "She starts praying and then she verbalizes it and instantly God answers her prayer. That's what I'm looking for with this count." (33:00) — Bert
• "I prayed in the middle of the night in front of an open window…and the next morning, my uncle calls and gives her a check for 2000." (38:17) — Caller Isis

Listener Stories:

• Kelly: Wedding rained out—until half an hour before, clouds parted, sun came out; ceremony was perfect. (34:44)
• Isis: Prayed for funds to attend the Cannes Film Festival, received an unexpected check the very next morning (37:39).
• Another caller: Desperate for money to pay insurance, found accidental $5,000 bank deposit that bridged the gap until it could be repaid (38:55).
• Pam: Her young brother, gravely ill with cancer, was prayed for by parents and minister; the tumor disappeared overnight, confirmed by x-ray and doctor (40:25).
• Bert closes with a family story about praying to St. Anthony and finding a lost passport (41:34).

Memorable Moments:

• Bert and the team reflect on the nature of faith and whether these stories lead to lasting religious conviction or just reaffirmation.
• Humorous aside about “wasting” one’s one big prayer on a sunny day for a baseball game instead of something profound (35:47).

Timestamps:

• Segment start/story prompt: 32:29–33:00
• Instant weather change wedding: 34:44
• Financial miracle (Isis): 37:39
• Accidental deposit: 38:55
• Healing miracle: 40:25
• Passport prayer: 41:34

Overall Tone & Style

• Playful, real, and conversational
• Willingness to poke fun at themselves and each other
• Candid calls, with stories both humorous and touching
• Maintains a fast pace and covers a lot of ground, shifting easily between serious and light moments

Summary Table of Memorable Quotes & Timestamps

| Time | Speaker | Quote | |----------|----------------|------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | 02:35 | Bert | "You think that it's. Logically. It doesn't make any sense, right?...There's a bit of a difference there." | | 04:25 | Bert | "Spit and then put it on the sheets." | | 11:03 | Bert | "There are just times you can't and after a while you're just like, the fun of this is over." | | 12:26 | Bert | "Guys are as good at faking it as women are. I guess. It is jacked up." | | 17:04 | Bert | "The president of MAD obviously is having a big time problem with this…10 drinks, everybody's allowed." | | 25:06 | Caller | "I don't believe in partying with your kids...But I do think it's a better idea to have your kids, friends drink in your home." | | 26:42 | Co-host | "I think the idea that a parent does this and it would deter your kids from being rebellious outside is naive." | | 33:00 | Bert | "She starts praying and then she verbalizes it and instantly God answers her prayer. That's what I'm looking for..." | | 37:39 | Caller Isis | "I prayed in the middle of the night in front of an open window…and the next morning, my uncle calls and gives her a check for 2000." | | 40:25 | Caller Pam | "My brother...he had cancer...parents had the minister come in and pray for him...And when the X ray came back, it was completely gone." | | 41:34 | Bert | "St. Anthony is the right saint of lost things...calls...have you checked the green suitcase?...there were the passports." |

This episode blends Bert’s authentic curiosity, audience vulnerability, and the cast’s breezy banter to tackle sexual taboos, modern parenting dilemmas, and big questions of faith—all with the signature humor and warmth that defines The Bert Show.