The Bert Show – Full Show PT 3: Wednesday, December 17 [Vault]

Date: December 17, 2025
Podcast: The Bert Show (Pionaire Podcasting)
Cast: Bert, Kristin, Abby, Cassie, Tommy, Michelle, Justin, Phil, Scott, Laurie, and others

Overview

This episode dives into the authenticity (or not) of classic movie and TV cliches, specifically the “spontaneous applause” trope during public wedding proposals, and transitions into a hilarious dive into notorious serial marriages—featuring both listener stories and celebrity banter. It also features one of the show's signature phone scams, delivering big laughs and outrageous reactions throughout.

The cast—anchored by Bert and his cohosts—recreate and analyze cultural moments in their usual lighthearted, witty style and welcome input from listeners who match or even outdo their celebrity reference points.

Key Segments & Discussion Points

1. Do Public Proposals Really Get Applause? Testing the Movie Cliche

[01:02–08:22]

• Premise:
  Bert introduces a recurring segment, testing whether movie/TV cliches hold up in real life. This episode is all about public wedding proposals: do they actually receive spontaneous applause?

• Reference Point:
  The “Survivor” reality show wedding proposal, where audience applause erupts, is used as the spark for the discussion.

  “These movie and TV cliches, we are gonna start testing these out, and the one that we're focusing on this week is the spontaneous applause... Just like the one we saw on Survivor last week.” – Bert [01:02]

• Personal Experiences:
  Justin and Laurie recall real-life moments witnessing this cliche fulfilled.

  • Justin: “I’ve seen more than one.” [02:11]
  • Laurie shares her own engagement story:

    “My husband took me out to dinner at Cafe Lily in Decatur... At the end of the dinner we had dessert and champagne. My ring was in the bottom of the champagne glass. And he got down on one knee, proposed to me. Everybody started clapping and cheering, taking our picture. It was absolutely wonderful.” [03:03]

• The Experiment:
  Phil is tasked with carrying out a public marriage proposal at a bustling Caribou Coffee, with Tracy playing along. The cast offers “helpful” advice to hype up the drama and test if strangers react as movies suggest.

  “Is your game plan to stand up on a chair or something and publicly, you know, announce your love for Tracy and break off in a proposal at that point?” – Bert [05:07]

• Execution and Reaction:
  Phil gives a heartfelt, staged proposal, and… the crowd responds as Hollywood predicts.

  Phil: "Hey, guys, if I can have yalls attention for just two seconds...I love this girl right now. And I'm so in love with her, I can't even see straight...And I just want to know if you would marry me. Come here." [07:13–08:08] “They're absolutely applauded.” – Bert [08:16]

2. Serial Marriages – JLo & Listener Stories

[08:31–14:40]

• JLo Sets the Bar (or Not):
  News of Jennifer Lopez’s third marriage at age 34 leads to incredulous commentary:

  • “Is it possible that she's been married three times at 34 years old?” – Scott [08:37]

• Listener Stories That Outdo the Celebs:

  • Tamika’s Mom:
    “My mom has been married seven times by the time she was 38 years old and divorced seven times.” [09:16] • Provides a breakdown, including one marriage lasted only a week. • “She’s gotten to where she can do it herself [divorce].” [10:36] • The show jokes about getting a “divorce at the QT” (convenience store) [10:40]

  • Ronnie’s Aunt:
    “There's seven that I know of for sure. I know there's faces that I don't know names of. And she's 36.” [12:26]
    “It's like a running joke in our family not to even get to know the guys at Christmas because they're not even gonna be there for you.” [12:45]

  • David’s Ex:
    “She was not even 30...she's about 28, 29. Five times by the time she was 28 years old...the same guy twice, with other people between.” [13:34-14:04]

    • And she has a custom “man ring” made from all her engagement rings: “It was almost like a...snake figured ring with gold leaves in between it. But it had five stones in it.” – Phil [14:17]
    • “She took all her engagement rings and merged them into one ring.” – Scott [14:30]

• Reflections on Love vs. Infatuation:
  The crew reflect on whether people are really “falling in love” multiple times, or just mistaking infatuation for something deeper.

  “I really think, and I know I did it, where I mistake love for infatuation…” – Scott [11:54]

3. The Bert Show Phone Scam: The Technologically Cursed Coworker

[17:32–23:22]

• Setup:
  Justin (posing as Jeff) calls Michelle, pretending to be from tech support, and implies she's the common factor behind broken office machines.

• Escalating the Bit:
  He delivers increasingly absurd solutions—including banning her from equipment, assigning her a “copy buddy,” and even suggesting manual typewriters and the use of stairs over elevators.

  • “The problem with the equipment is you.” – Justin [18:41]
  • “Maybe what we could do is you could have other people make copies for you.” – Justin [20:52]
  • “We have actually found...a manual typewriter.” – Justin [21:27]

• Revelation & Reaction:
  Michelle gets frustrated but rolls with it; finally, she's told it’s a prank, and coworkers are revealed to be in on the joke.

  “You’ve just been phone scammed!” – Justin [22:55]
  “Oh, my gosh so you actually call. Okay, this is a prank. This is not serious.” – Michelle [23:06]

Notable Quotes & Moments

• Movie Cliche Testing:

  • “I've been out in a lot of restaurants and a lot of bars...I have yet to see one of those. Have you seen?” – Bert [02:04]
  • “They're absolutely applauded.” – Bert, surprised at outcome [08:16]

• Listener Serial Marriers:

  • “My mom has been married seven times by the time she was 38...and divorced seven times.” – Tamika [09:16]
  • “It's like a running joke in our family not to even get to know the guys at Christmas...” – Ronnie [12:45]
  • “She took all her engagement rings and merged them into one ring.” – Scott [14:30]

• Phone Scam:

  • “The problem with the equipment is you.” – Justin [18:41]
  • “We have actually found...a manual typewriter.” – Justin [21:27]
  • “Oh, my gosh so you actually call. Okay, this is a prank.” – Michelle [23:06]

Timestamps for Key Segments

• Public Proposal Cliche Setup: 01:02–08:22
• JLo & Serial Marriage Chat: 08:31–14:40
• Phone Scam Segment: 17:32–23:22

Tone & Style

The episode is playful, high-energy, and rooted in the chemistry and banter between the hosts, with genuine listener stories adding authenticity and laughs. Their interaction blurs the line between earnest exploration of social phenomena and outright comedic riffing.

Summary

This Bert Show episode takes on movie marriage tropes, tests them in the wild, and invites listeners to top tabloid stories with their real-life antics. The show’s signature phone scam brings the episode to a raucous, funny close, proving that when it comes to love, public proposals, and office life, the drama and humor are all too real.