Full Show PT 3: Wednesday, February 18 [Vault]

Summary

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The Bert Show – Full Show PT 3: Wednesday, February 18 [Vault]

Episode Date: February 18, 2026
Hosts/Cast: Bert (Bertram), Carla, and guests
Summary Prepared for: Listeners seeking a detailed recap without ads or non-content

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Episode Overview

This episode features two main discussions:

1. A lively debate about a real-life marriage dilemma involving secrets, flirtations, and friendship boundaries between couples.
2. A conversation about relationship power imbalances, centering around a friend whose wife controls every aspect of their marriage, and audience reflections on who "wins" in partnerships.

The tone is candid, humorous, and sometimes irreverent, with the cast sharing personal takes and actively engaging with audience callers. Listeners are invited to consider serious relationship dilemmas—both ethical and practical—while laughing along with the show's trademark authenticity.

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Key Discussion Points and Insights

1. Marriage Dilemma: Confessions, Flirtation, and Secrets

[01:30–13:33]

• Setting the Scene
  Bert and Jessica visit a bar in South Carolina, sit at a shared table with near-strangers—two couples, one of whom (“wife number two”) quickly confides a dramatic and ongoing secret.

  • Bert: “We end up in this conversation, and she explains that some number of months ago, the husband number one... comes to her and confesses that he is miserable in his marriage." (03:30)

• The Confession
  Husband #1 tells Wife #2 (not his own wife) that he believes she is his "soulmate." Despite Wife #2 rejecting his advances, he persists with texts and notes, finally tries to kiss her at a party.

  • Bert (clarifying): “He thinks that she... is his soulmate.” (04:13)
  • Wife #2 repeatedly shuts him down but never tells her own husband.

• Escalation and Dilemma
  After the attempted kiss is rebuffed, things quiet down until Husband #1 reignites his pursuit months later—just as he becomes closer friends with Wife #2's husband. Now, Wife #2 is desperate for advice: how to come clean to her husband without wrecking multiple relationships, having kept the secret for so long.

  • Carla: “How can I tell my husband that this is happening?... He’s gonna be like, why the hell didn’t you tell me at the end of last year?” (06:26)

• Moral Debate
  The cast collectively agrees there is “no good way out.” The only realistic solution is full honesty, though it might harm the marriage.

  • Caller/Guest 3: “There is no good way out. So the only way out is to be totally honest and take the heat. ‘Cause it’s either be honest and take the heat or lie and eventually take the heat.” (07:47)
  • Bert: “If you tell the whole truth, you’ve got so many issues... She’s gonna be in trouble either way. But I think honesty, she’s in lesser trouble.” (08:03)

• Audience Caller Input
  A listener speculates Wife #2 liked the attention and should have distanced herself after the first incident. The cast discusses whether her motives were to enjoy the flattery or out of a desire not to be “rude.”

  • Caller: “She liked the attention. That’s why she kept hanging out with him.” (10:22)
  • Carla: “At some level she absolutely loved it.” (10:38)

• Consensus & Closure
  There’s agreement that Wife #2 is in a “zero-win situation” (11:25) and that the only way forward is honesty—even if it leads to drama.

  • Bert: “Yeah, there’s really no way out in this.” (11:45)
  • Carla: This story is radio gold; “this is a couple that you need to stay... this is a tax write off every time you take them out.” (11:47)

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2. Relationship Power Dynamics: The ‘Broken Man’ Scenario

[14:27–26:20]

• Introducing a Controlling Marriage
  Carla shares the story of “Kevin,” a friend whose wife gave up drinking after a humiliating party incident. She then insists Kevin do the same, enforces all household decisions, and “details” everything in the relationship.

  • Carla: “I have never met a man that has less input into anything going on in his life than you and your marriage. She has broken you, dude.” (15:57)

• Kevin’s Perspective
  Kevin admits he gives in at every turn—for peace, the kids, and the “good of the marriage.”

  • Kevin via Carla: “If I want to save my marriage... I just got to shut up and do what she wants.” (16:34)

• Extreme Control Examples
  From allowing only $100 for trips with friends to banning travel or drinking, the wife sets all the terms.

  • Bertram: “She did not allow him to go [to the football game]. And then she said, you can go, but you only got $100 because they were working on a new kitchen or something.” (17:44)

• Open Discussion: Why Men Give In
  The group debates if “winning” in marriage means total control for one partner and what it does to mutual respect.

  • Carla: “Is there any woman... brave enough to say, you know what? I finally just broke him down. I own him.” (18:27)
  • Caller: “My wife is everything you’re describing. She’s been trying to break me down five years... You name the scenario, I’m going, yes, yes, that’s it.” (20:24)

• Is It All Bad?
  There’s some devil’s advocate: Is Kevin “sacrificing” for the sake of marriage something to admire, or is it sad?

  • Carla: “Would some say it’s admirable that he's just basically said... for me to have this marriage... this is what I've just decided to do?” (23:11)
  • Bertram: “People who would say it’s admirable are the women who issue this type of control.” (23:39)
  • Supportive host: “If he’s happy in it, it alleviates him of any decision making. And some people may want that life.” (24:50)

• Respect vs. Resentment
  Concerns are raised about whether extreme control erodes respect and long-term happiness.

  • Carla: “There’s a part of her that doesn’t respect him, though, because he won’t fight back anymore.” (25:37)

• Reflection: Relationship Models for the Next Generation
  The cast worries that children raised in extreme-control marriages may repeat those patterns.

  • Carla: “His kids... they’re looking at mom and dad, and this is how marriages are. So I’m gonna be the same. And they’ll pass it down to their kids and so on...” (24:09)

• Final Word – Individual Happiness
  Ultimately, the conclusion is that every relationship is unique. If both partners are content—even in an unbalanced dynamic—it’s not for outsiders to judge.

  • Caller/Guest 2: “If it works for them, it works for them. Every couple is completely different... You don’t have to live in it.” (24:27)

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• “There’s no good way out. So the only way out is to be totally honest and take the heat.”
  — Caller/Guest 3 (07:47)

• “You name the scenario, I’m going, yes, yes, that’s it.”
  — Caller/Guest 4, identifying with the ‘broken man’ dynamic (20:24)

• “I have never met a man that has less input into anything going on in his life than you and your marriage. She has broken you, dude.”
  — Carla (15:57)

• “It’s a zero win situation.”
  — Bert about the impossible dilemma of Wife #2 (11:25)

• “There’s a part of her that doesn’t respect him, though, because he won’t fight back anymore.”
  — Carla (25:37)

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Timestamps for Major Segments

• 01:30–13:33 – Marriage Dilemma: Flirting friend, secret advances, and the fallout
• 14:27–26:20 – “Broken” husbands and wives: Who holds the power? Callers share confessions and personal stories

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Tone & Atmosphere

• The conversation is frank, frequently playful, and sometimes irreverent.
• The cast relies on real-life scenarios, personal anecdotes, and tongue-in-cheek groupthink.
• Listeners are encouraged to call in and share their realities, creating an intimate, community-driven atmosphere.

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Takeaways

• The show thrives on sharing and dissecting messy real-life relationship problems with both empathy and humor.
• Honesty—while painful—repeatedly emerges as the consensus solution to marital dilemmas.
• The concept of "winning" in marriage is critiqued and ultimately reframed as less important than both partners' happiness.

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For more engaging relationship debates, real-life drama, and laughs, catch THE BERT SHOW daily.

Transcript

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[Carla]

Hey, the Birch Show.

[Bertram]

Jessica and I are up in South Carolina a week or so ago, and we walk into this bar where everybody hangs out and it's pretty crowded. And we take a seat. We have to share a table with other people. So we find like a table for six that has two empty seats at it. And sitting at the tables, couple number one and couple number two. Couple number one. We kind of know a little bit like where we know who they are, met them, talk to them, conversations. Couple number two, we became friends with them very quickly because we wanted to sit at their table. So we walk up, hey, how you doing? Oh, why don't you sit here?

[Carla]

Really?

[Caller/Guest 1]

Oh, cool.

[Bertram]

And then we sat and we got to sit at the. At the bar. So we were all very excited. So we're hanging out and everything's fine. And at one point the crowd kind of. The crowd at the bar kind of splits up and some People go see other people and whatever. Or at the table. And so it ends up being Jessica and I and wife number two of the two couples. And for whatever reason, and the only thing I can think is that this had been in her head for hours or days or weeks or however long. And it was about her head was literally about to split open and explode and go out if she didn't release the pressure. So she dumps on us the following story in hopes that we would have some sort of wisdom to make everything all better.

[Caller/Guest 2]

So you guys were the therapy.

[Bertram]

I guess so.

[Carla]

But on a scale of 1 to 10, these friends are how good of friends of yours?

[Bertram]

Don't even know them. Couple number two, this wife number two, we met that night.

[Carla]

Okay.

[Bertram]

Couple number one, we have seen them before at the bar. Well enough to know what their first name is, I think, and kind of what part of town they live in. I don't even know if I know his wife's first name. Like, I mean, we didn't know at all.

[Carla]

Almost this close to strangers. Yes.

[Bertram]

If there was another table open, we wouldn't have sat with him.

[Caller/Guest 2]

Right.

[Bertram]

So we end up in this conversation, and she explains that some number of months ago, the husband number one, the guy that we kind of know, comes to her and confesses that he is miserable in his marriage, not happy in his marriage. And she's like, and they know each other better than we do. The four of them know each other. I think they're actually neighbors or coworkers or something. So there's a bond between them. So she's like, oh, wow, that really sucks. He's like, yeah, blah, blah, blah. And then continues on and says that he thinks that she, the girl he's talking to, is his soulmate.

[Caller/Guest 2]

So it's husband number one talking to wife number two.

[Bertram]

Wife number two.

[Caller/Guest 2]

And wife number two is relaying this whole story to you.

[Bertram]

Yes.

[Caller/Guest 1]

Got it.

[Bertram]

So, you know, we're looking across the bar, we're looking at the other three of them, you know, husband and wife number one and husband number two, all hanging out at the bar, having a great time, realizing that the guy who's hanging out with the other guy at the bar recently, you know, within the year, told that guy's wife that he their soulmates.

[Carla]

So this isn't her saying, oh, my God, I haven't told anybody this, I gotta tell you.

[Bertram]

Right?

[Carla]

They have been seeing each other. No, they have not even been seeing each other.

[Bertram]

She says, that's not cool. I don't want any part of it. And he starts getting all.

[Caller/Guest 1]

She doesn't feel they're soulmates.

[Bertram]

No. She's like, I'm married and things are cool. So she starts. So she kind of like, you know, says, this isn't cool. And he says, all right. But starts sending her text messages, leaving her little notes, stuff like that, and says, are you sure? Blah, blah, blah.

[Caller/Guest 1]

And.

[Bertram]

And finally has a few beers in him and tries to make out with her. And she, at that point, was defiant enough and says, no, no, you don't understand. Happily married. This is not going to happen. Stop. Screech breaks and it goes away. She never tells her husband about it. So the whole flirty thing goes on for a month until the kiss tries to happen, shuts it down. And that happened. I think it's some holiday party. So, like, six months ago. And then there's never any. Not another text message, not another note. And she's like, oh, my God, that's no problem. Until, like, six weeks ago, it comes up again, and it's more intense than it was before. He's like, I tried to be without you. It didn't work. You're all like, think about. So she's dumping all of this on us, and we're like, no way. He's married.

[Carla]

Yeah, he's married.

[Bertram]

He's married. Well, in the course of. Since the six, you know, the months where this whole thing. She kind of threw the bucket of water on it. In the course of that whole time, her husband and him, the guy who wants to be with her, have become great friends. So now they're friends because husband number.

[Caller/Guest 2]

One'S trying to figure out as many ways as he can to hang out with wife number two.

[Caller/Guest 1]

He's manipulating her husband.

[Carla]

So he's getting close with the husband.

[Bertram]

Just to hang out, fishing trips together, close friends. So then the guy turns up the heat within the past few weeks, and apparently something had happened that night, which is why I think her head was about to explode while we got this whole story. And then she says to us, now, here's my dilemma. And it's a good one. Here's my dilemma. How can I tell my husband that this is happening? Because it originally came up at the end of last year. And if I go to him now and tell him the whole story, he's gonna be like, why the hell didn't you tell me at the end of last year? And why did you let me become best friends with this guy over the past six months?

[Carla]

I would be bummed if the roles are with me now. And With Stacy. And she said that this has been going on for that long, and she never told me. There'd be a small part of me questioning why she never brought it up.

[Bertram]

Right.

[Carla]

So do you like the attention? Are you attracted to the guy? Why wouldn't you bring it up before?

[Caller/Guest 1]

But if she lies to her husband and just talks about this being a recent thing, and then the. And then. And then he brings it up, the fact that they've had interaction before this about it, then she's in worse trouble with her husband.

[Bertram]

Jessica and I eased her mind by coming to the conclusion that there's no way out.

[Carla]

What do you do, Wendy, in this situation? You're the wife.

[Caller/Guest 3]

Oh, I don't even know.

[Bertram]

There's no solution.

[Caller/Guest 3]

There's nothing.

[Carla]

You have to just. There is no good way out. So the only way out is to be totally honest and take the heat. Cause it's either be honest and take the heat or lie and eventually take the heat. I'd rather be honest.

[Caller/Guest 3]

I think you would have to tell the whole truth.

[Caller/Guest 2]

You'd have to.

[Bertram]

But if you tell the whole truth, then you've got so many issues. You've got number one, why didn't you tell me last fall when this drama was going on? Number two, he tried to kiss you, and then you let him and I become great friends.

[Caller/Guest 1]

Yeah. She's gonna be in trouble either way. But I think honesty, she's gonna be in hell, lesser trouble. Because if she. If it ends up she lies to her husband on top of all of this, then that could be the end of the day.

[Caller/Guest 3]

Yeah. And then more details come out after she told the lie and she didn't tell the whole story, then she's gonna be even worse trouble. So she might as well come out with it all.

[Caller/Guest 2]

In the beginning, what was happening that was so pressing where she felt like it had. She had to tell him now?

[Bertram]

Well, I think the guy, the 30 husband guy had come back. Like, I think she thought it was gone. And she's like, okay. When I said, hey, I'm not gonna kiss you, and squashed it. He totally got the picture and was gone. So then she's cool, right? And she thought everything is nice and like her. And so she's like, ah, maybe he was just fighting. I think her logic was he's just battling with his wife right then and there and having trauma with that, you know, with. With. So he was coming to me for comfort, but now everything's all better. And then over the past month, and my guess is, while she never said this because, you know, Jessica and I talked about this great length after it all happened and she was gone. But after, my guess is that something happened that night or like, the day before where he, like, cranked it up, like, turned it up to 10.

[Carla]

I'm ready to leave her now for you.

[Bertram]

Right. If you just give me.

[Carla]

There's gotta be a reason why he stayed around for a year, though. I mean, obviously, she. She didn't say to him in harsh enough terms, this is never, ever, ever gon.

[Bertram]

She says she did.

[Caller/Guest 3]

Well, what if she goes to wife number one and tells wife number one what her husband's doing?

[Caller/Guest 2]

I said that her husband's gonna find out anyway.

[Carla]

Yeah, she's busted. I'd just be honest and be busted first. Carla, good Morning. You're on Q100. Hey.

[Caller/Guest 4]

How are you guys doing?

[Carla]

Okay.

[Caller/Guest 4]

I love your show.

[Carla]

Thank you.

[Caller/Guest 4]

Okay, whatever.

[Carla]

Was it wife number one that got.

[Caller/Guest 4]

Hit on or wife number two?

[Bertram]

Wife number two got hit on by husband number one.

[Caller/Guest 4]

Okay. Wife number two should have not been hanging out with them anymore after the first time he hit on her.

[Carla]

She wanted the attention.

[Caller/Guest 4]

She liked the attention. That's why she kept hanging out with him. Why is she out with him just the other night?

[Bertram]

She's not. It wasn't just her and him out. It was the two couples out because the two husbands have become best friends.

[Carla]

She could have squashed this, though. I see what she's saying. This woman loved the attention.

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[Carla]

At some level, she absolutely loved it. She would have cut it off.

[Bertram]

How do you say that, though? Like, how do you say you can't be friends? Like, what would you say if Stacey came to you out of nowhere. Out of nowhere and just said, I don't really like hanging out with Dolvett anymore? You'd be like, why? We're good friends.

[Carla]

Yeah, of course you question that.

[Caller/Guest 1]

Right, Right.

[Bertram]

And she's. I just don't. I just don't want to hang out with him. You'd be like, you're nuts.

[Carla]

Right.

[Caller/Guest 1]

Well, there's some women who, like. It's either one of two things. Either she likes the attention and that's why she kind of lingers it around, or she's one of those women that just doesn't want to be rude and just doesn't know how to handle the situation and keeps her mouth shut, doesn't.

[Caller/Guest 2]

Want to rock the boat type of thing.

[Caller/Guest 1]

Yeah. And then if he thinks they're soulmates, that's creepy. It's not just that. He has a crush on her. He's att to her. He thinks they're soul mates and is determined to have her.

[Carla]

Yeah, she's painted herself into a really tight corner because she can't not do anything about it either.

[Bertram]

It's a zero do something. It's a zero win situation.

[Carla]

I certainly hope that you got close enough to them that night to where you got their phone numbers. When we got to get some closure.

[Bertram]

On this in a couple weeks. It's. It's there. Yeah, it's not gonna. However it is, it's not gonna go. That's the advice Jessica and I left her with. J so what should I do? I'm like, yeah, there's really no way out in this.

[Carla]

When I was at this radio convention last week, a whole bunch of the radio guys confessed to each other that we have friends in our lives that we just keep around that we really don't like that much. But they give us great radio material. This is a couple that you need to stay. This is a tax write off every time you take them out. Dude, write it off.

[Bertram]

We should go back up there this weekend and hunt them down.

[Carla]

I need closure. Hey the Birch show.

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[Carla]

So I have a question to ask this morning. I'm not even sure we're gonna get any calls on it, and I'm not exactly sure how to phrase it.

[Caller/Guest 1]

Okay.

[Carla]

And you guys know my friend Kevin, who does his show in Florida. We've become really, really good friends. He was telling me this weekend that he and his wife were at a party about a year ago, a one year old's party, where without getting into too many details because I know he'll end up getting a call on it, but she got so drunk at a one year old's party that she did something really, really inappropriate and a whole bunch of people saw it at the party. And she comes home that day and she realizes that she's got a problem. She can't stop drinking. Like she's a little like me. Like there's a first gear and a. Well, for her it's a ninth gear and there's no stopping in between. So it was that day that she just decided, I'm not drinking anymore. I can't do it. I can't handle my liquor. I never want this to ever happen again. That's it. I'm going cold turkey and no drinking for me anymore. So she stopped. Well, Kevin continued to drink. So he'd go out on a Friday night from time to time and come on home and his wife would be pissed, really mad, really, because he didn't stop drinking. She stopped.

[Bertram]

Oh. So, yeah. Well, the background on this is she's a lunatic. Like, she canceled Christmas a couple years ago, right?

[Carla]

She. This is sort of where I'm going with this.

[Caller/Guest 2]

Is that kind of a possessive wife, right?

[Carla]

She details everything that goes on in their relationship with the family. I mean, everything. And it's.

[Bertram]

What do you mean details it?

[Carla]

I mean, she makes the rules for everything. The Christmas thing, the. I'm not drinking, you're not drinking, okay. And he agrees to everything. And he said to me over the weekend, because I asked him, I said, look, I have never met a man that has less input into anything going on in his life than you and your marriage. She has broken you, dude. When did you realize that? That you have just basically given in for what you believe the good of the marriage is? Because that's what he believes. If he doesn't fight and if he doesn't disagree, then so long as mommy is happy, then the family will be.

[Bertram]

Happy and it's good for the marriage.

[Carla]

And he really believes that if I just shut up and I do what she wants because she can make my life hell and she has that, I'm gonna live by her rules all the time. So my thought, and this is what I'm asking you guys also is when did you realize that you won in your marriage? You won. You make every decision. You broke your man. Cuz this guy has not made a decision in years. And I asked him, I'm like, when did you just give all that up? When were you at peace with not having any input? And he said, the last time I came to the house and I was drunk after she had the one year old birthday party incident, we fought for two weeks about it and she was on me every single day. She withheld sex. We argued, it was her point. And she stopped listening. So at that point I just said, look, now I realize if I want to save my marriage or I want to be in this for 70 something years, I just got to shut up and do what she wants. What was the persistent that Persistent?

[Bertram]

She did that about something else too, because remember we had her on.

[Caller/Guest 2]

Wasn't it about her going traveling with him to this radio convention?

[Carla]

Yeah, well, that was some of it. There was also, you remember, we started to put him on because we were. He and I were going to the Georgia Florida game.

[Bertram]

That's what it was. She did not allow him to go. And then she said, you can go, but you've got like $220 to spend or something like that.

[Carla]

It wasn't that much. It was $100 allowance. And I was in the bar, when his hundred dollars ran out and he left and he went home, she dictated to him that, you can go, but you only got $100 because they were working on a new kitchen or something.

[Bertram]

And when he buys the last beer, finish it.

[Carla]

That's it.

[Bertram]

Go home.

[Carla]

So he really believes that, Look, I'm just gonna give in to her every time. I'll never say no. Whatever she wants, that's what I'm gonna do. And he even said to me, and I don't want anybody to question it. That's what works.

[Caller/Guest 2]

Do you think she questions it?

[Carla]

This is the way she likes.

[Bertram]

Do you think she thinks he's less of a man? Is that what you mean?

[Caller/Guest 2]

That's what I'm asking.

[Carla]

Yeah. I don't know. I mean, is there any woman. There's nobody. Nobody calling right now. Because I don't think a woman is brave enough to say, you know what? I finally just broke him down. My man just own him. She owns them.

[Caller/Guest 2]

It could be in certain areas, but I think that she's a rare case that it would be in every single area of their life.

[Carla]

This is absolutely, unequivocally, unequivocally across the board. Anything she wants, she gets. He nods, says yes, and totally believes that the relationship will last because he doesn't argue.

[Bertram]

But you said.

[Caller/Guest 1]

I think if women call, I mean, I think there's a lot of women that they think through manipulation, and the man doesn't realize how much in control she is kind of thing. And I think the uniqueness about this is she is full on, blurts out things. And he says yes, because I do. I wonder if we're gonna get calls from women. Oh, of course. I broke my man. He doesn't know it, but every time he does this, he thinks it's his decision, but it's really mine, where this is just full on. You're going to do this? And he goes, yes, ma'. Am.

[Carla]

Right.

[Bertram]

But haven't you said before, Bertram a.

[Caller/Guest 2]

Mom instead of a wife?

[Carla]

We said that to him when he was on the whole. Georgia, Florida.

[Caller/Guest 1]

But he wants it. But he wants that.

[Caller/Guest 2]

He likes that.

[Caller/Guest 1]

Yeah.

[Caller/Guest 2]

Yeah.

[Bertram]

You've said before that your job is just to bring home a paycheck.

[Carla]

I mean, Stacy and I will. I mean, we debate all the time, like, should the kids go to this church? Should. I mean, I have my hand in it. We're constantly debating back and forth with each other. Constantly.

[Bertram]

But there's not even negotiation with him.

[Carla]

It's, whatever she wants is done. Yeah. There's no. I mean, it's her way or literally or no way.

[Caller/Guest 1]

That's crazy.

[Carla]

But, yeah, I could never give up that kind of control. Like, the way she wants to raise the kids is the way they're gonna raise the kids. You know, if she wants him to go to a certain school and he doesn't, he shuts up. If he wants to go out on Friday night and she doesn't want him to go out on Friday night, he stays home. They have a pact that they just don't go on. They don't go anywhere outside of West Palm unless they're with each other. This was the first time he said it's happened in years.

[Bertram]

Why didn't she? Oh, because she just had a baby.

[Carla]

She just had the baby. Hey, chip, you're on Q100. How are you?

[Caller/Guest 4]

Oh, man, I'm on the Discover.

[Caller/Guest 1]

Yeah.

[Caller/Guest 4]

My wife is everything you're describing. She's been trying to break me down for five years. I mean, there's no such thing as go out of town. Go out of town without your wife. You would think I just said that I was gonna go cut the throat of all her family members. It's incredible. You know, but you don't see those signs early. They're not there when you first meet the girl. You know what I mean? They magically appear much later.

[Carla]

So when did you realize that she. I mean, rather than argue with her, it just had to be her way if you wanted this relationship to last.

[Caller/Guest 4]

Well, you know, after. After the honeymoon was over. You know, after the first year, things started to come up where you want to, you know, hey, I was thinking of going to the game with the boys or, you know, I was thinking of doing this or doing that, and no big deal. It should be no big deal. Maybe I want to go play watch a game at a friend's house. On a weekday, something that's not that big a deal turns into an oh, my God thing with the reaction and the argument that follows. It's. It's. It's incredible. You name the scenario, and, I mean, you're describing your buddy's life, and I'm going, yes. Yes, that's it.

[Carla]

I mean, she rides his ass so bad that he's just given up, basically. I mean. And she said this weekend he wasn't allowed to drink. This weekend he was not.

[Caller/Guest 4]

Yeah, yeah. Forget that. I mean, if she.

[Carla]

Why?

[Caller/Guest 4]

It's all based on her approval.

[Caller/Guest 2]

Just a control she works.

[Caller/Guest 1]

Doesn't trust him if he was drinking by himself.

[Carla]

This has never Been his problem. I mean, she's the one that had that major drinking violation.

[Caller/Guest 4]

It's all about trust. It becomes a trust issue, I think. And that's what I think it's all based around.

[Caller/Guest 2]

I just wonder for her if it's a control issue, because she has to control every single little thing.

[Caller/Guest 1]

I think she's extreme. And your wife is obviously extreme every single thing. But as you talk, I'm wondering, does every woman have that in her, though? Isn't there in there always the dynamic of the guy wants to. And I mean, I don't know. I'm just throwing this out there. The guy wants to continue his life as it's always been, even when he's married. And that she all of a sudden, now that she's married, she wants things to be different. And there's always that battle back and forth. But it's just these women are taking it to the extreme.

[Caller/Guest 4]

Is the one that got away from me years before. Exact opposite. I could go anywhere, anytime. But, hey, I gotta go before my wife hears me on the radio, okay?

[Caller/Guest 2]

So be in trouble.

[Carla]

Hey, let me ask you.

[Caller/Guest 2]

She told him he wasn't allowed to listen to the Burt show.

[Carla]

Let me just play devil's advocate here for a second. Let me just play devil's advocate, okay? So we know that. And the words that are coming out of my mouth right now, I don't believe in. But I'm just for debate sake, right?

[Caller/Guest 1]

So you don't have to count this as a lie because you.

[Carla]

This is not a lie. I'm telling you straight up, I don't believe what I'm going to say. But it's just for debate purposes.

[Caller/Guest 2]

Okay?

[Carla]

So divorce rates are what, 40, 50% in this country. You obviously do anything that you can in order to keep your marriage healthy and keep it alive for forever, right? So is it. Would some say it's admirable that he's just basically just said, look, it's so important to me for me to have this marriage and for the kids to see their parents together and happy that this is what I've just decided to do. The way I handle it is I'm just gonna say yes.

[Bertram]

Yes. The people who would say it's admirable are the women who issue this type of control because they're like, yep, that's what. This is what a relationship is all about. Staying together through thick and thin.

[Caller/Guest 1]

But you said happy. You know, like keywords, you said don't apply to these. Because he wouldn't be telling these stories. If he was happy.

[Carla]

Well, the thing that scares me, too, and I wish I would have brought this up this weekend just now thinking of it is his kids are going to raise, get married to people just like him. They're gonna have the same relationship because they're looking at mom and dad or.

[Caller/Guest 1]

Her, I mean, or her.

[Carla]

They're looking at mom and dad, and this is how marriages are. So I'm gonna be the same. And they'll pass it down to their kids and so on and so on and so on.

[Caller/Guest 2]

Is he happy in it? I mean, do you genuinely think that he is?

[Carla]

I genuinely think that he's a happy guy, yeah.

[Caller/Guest 2]

So then who cares?

[Carla]

I think he's. That's what he said. I don't want to be judged. This is just the way it is.

[Caller/Guest 2]

If it works for them, it works for them. Every couple is completely different. And I mean, you know, nobody knows what it's like on the inside, you know, so from the outside looking in, if it doesn't work for you, then who cares? You don't have to live in it.

[Carla]

And if he would have drank this weekend and he would not have told his wife, it would have eaten him up from the inside out, really. Just cannot lie to her.

[Caller/Guest 1]

And for him, I mean, if he's happy in it, it alleviates him of any decision making. And some people may want that life. That's true. Let them take control. Let them tell me what to do. I'm happy to do it. Because, you know what? I work hard or whatever at my job, so when I come home, I don't want to have to think. If you want to tell me what to do, fine. Tell me what to do. I'll follow it, you know, and like Jen said, if it makes him happy, so what? But it. But if he talks about it so much, I don't know if he's happy.

[Carla]

Good morning, Sandy. You're on Q100.

[Caller/Guest 3]

Yeah, I have a question.

[Caller/Guest 4]

How boring would that relationship be? No conflict.

[Caller/Guest 2]

I was thinking that, too.

[Bertram]

That's a really good point.

[Caller/Guest 2]

Because, you know, women will say they want to exert control or say they want to change their manner, this or that or the other thing. But then you don't want to be married to a doormat.

[Bertram]

But she might like that.

[Carla]

Like, there's a part of her that doesn't respect him, though, because he won't fight back anymore.

[Caller/Guest 1]

Well, I think there's a huge part of her that doesn't respect him. Like, I trust him in the first place.

[Carla]

I want to go to the Georgia Florida game with this guy again this year because it's going to be a really big game for both teams. And he wants to bring bring her along. She won't let him go by himself.

[Bertram]

So what are you going to do?

[Carla]

And I'm drinking.

[Bertram]

Are you going?

[Carla]

That game is only fun if you're drinking all day. Sorry.

[Bertram]

So what are you gonna do? Are you knacking? Are you gonna tell him that you don't want him to go?

[Carla]

No, I'm gonna try to talk her into drinking.

[Bertram]

So you're let him bring her?

[Carla]

I mean, I can't let him do anything.

[Bertram]

Right.

[Carla]

But, I mean, I would certainly rather her. Her not go. She's not. She's gonna judge him all day because he's drinking. Oh, he is drinking.

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