The Bert Show – Full Show PT 3: Wednesday, February 25 [Vault] (Aired: February 25, 2026)

Episode Overview

This episode of The Bert Show brings listeners a lively mix of relatable drama, quirky romance, and real-life family dilemmas, driven by Bert and the cast's signature humor and authentic conversations. Main themes include an entertaining “Love Lost and Found” segment about tracking down a charming traffic cop, a frank parenting chat about kids wearing costumes in public, and an insightful discussion on how women and men differ when it comes to relaxation. The episode maintains the show's warm, bantering tone, creating space for both laughs and genuine reflection.

Key Segments & Highlights

1. Love Lost and Found: Searching for the Handsome Traffic Cop

[02:00–11:34]

• Premise: Listener Jamie calls in seeking help to reconnect with a traffic officer she had a fleeting, chemistry-filled encounter with at the intersection of Lenox Road and Piedmont.
• Jamie’s Story:
  • She describes seeing two cops while stopped at a crosswalk, feeling a spark with one (a “light-skinned African American guy, beautiful smile...in full gear”).
  • “We kind of locked eyes, and I smiled at him...He kind of flashed like a million dollar smile. He was very handsome.” (Jamie, [03:17])
  • The officer struck a “GQ pose” while directing traffic, which Jamie and her friend found endearing and amusing.
• Humorous Banter:
  • The hosts and Jamie joke about the cop’s neon gloves and his conspicuous pack of nuts, leading to recurring playful callbacks (“the police officer with the nuts”).
  • “Do you really want to be the guy eating the nuts, or the guy not? Because that means you’re the nutless guy.” (Co-host, [06:27])
• Listener Leads:
  • Timothy, a police department insider, calls in confirming he knows the officers who work the intersection, and reveals the one in question is single.
  • “No, he’s actually not married.” (Timothy, [08:30])
  • The team works behind the scenes to set up a call between Jamie and the officer, hinting at future follow-ups.
• Memorable Moment:
  • “He might have just been...That's just the sexy way that he controls traffic on Piedmont and Lennox.” (Host, [11:06])

2. Parenting Dilemma: When Should Kids Stop Wearing Costumes?

[14:41–21:47]

• The Dilemma: Bert discusses his son Hayden’s attachment to a Peter Pan costume, questioning if there’s an age where it’s no longer appropriate—or safe from peer mockery.
• Candid Reflections:
  • Bert shares his rational and emotional reservations: “At five, costume every day feels acceptable to me. At six, I’m getting a little nervous. Like, people are gonna start making fun of him…” (Bert, [16:40])
  • Co-hosts debate whether the transition to first grade is a milestone where costumes should stop, or if kids should simply enjoy their quirks as long as possible.
• Listener Input:
  • Callers share experiences, generally encouraging Bert to let Hayden enjoy his costume phase.
  • “He’s fine as long as he’s still in kindergarten. First grade’s a whole another ball game…” (Caller Lisa, [19:55])
• Banter and Advice:
  • Co-hosts get playful with ridiculous “solutions,” from using a BB gun to (jokingly) deter costume-wearing, to sabotaging costumes with bleach—underscored with laughter but reinforcing the show’s lighthearted take.

3. Why Women (and Moms) Struggle to Truly Relax

[22:07–28:24]

• Personal Observations: A co-host shares insights from a lake weekend with friends, noting that even with time off, some women (especially mothers) can’t relax.
  • “I really don’t think that we make it a priority to chill out and relax nearly as much as men do...We literally had to sit her down on the couch and put a blanket on top of her...” (Co-host, [22:07])
• Gendered Relaxation Styles:
  • Men, the hosts opine, can ignore chores and responsibilities until they really need doing (“dudes...can put things off...So tonight I can watch a game, whatever. Tomorrow I’ll get it done...” Host, [23:48]).
  • Women, conversely, feel compelled to accomplish tasks before relaxing, with mental to-do lists running constantly.
  • “It doesn’t necessarily have to be the to-do list…and what housework needs to be done. Because not all women are good at housework. Hello. But I think that it’s just anything...If your emotions don’t feel right, then you’re analyzing, ‘Why don’t my emotions feel right?’” (Co-host, [26:20])
• Spas as Escape: The group agrees that spa days may be the only place some women are forced to “just be.”
  • “That is the only way the woman can, can relax is to escape like that.” (Co-host, [28:12])
• Takeaway: The segment balances laughter (about laundry and household duties) with authentic recognition of parental and particularly maternal stress.

Notable Quotes & Timestamps

• “We kind of locked eyes, and I smiled at him...He kind of flashed like a million dollar smile.” – Jamie ([03:17])
• “Do you really want to be the guy eating the nuts, or the guy not? Because that means you’re the nutless guy.” – Co-host ([06:27])
• “No, he’s actually not married.” – Timothy ([08:30])
• “At five, costume every day feels acceptable to me. At six, I’m getting a little nervous.” – Bert ([16:40])
• “He’s fine as long as he’s still in kindergarten. First grade’s a whole nother ball game.” – Lisa (caller) ([19:55])
• “I really don’t think that we make it a priority to chill out and relax nearly as much as men do.” – Co-host ([22:07])
• “Spas are so successful...the only way a woman can relax is to, to escape like that.” – Co-host ([28:12])

Summary Table of Key Topics

| Segment | Start | End | Main Points | |------------------------------------------------|--------------|--------------|--------------------------------------------------------------------| | Love Lost and Found (Traffic Cop Search) | 02:00 | 11:34 | Jamie seeks traffic cop; comic back-and-forth; insider lead | | Parenting: Costume-Wearing Kids | 14:41 | 21:47 | Bert’s Peter Pan dilemma; co-host/ caller advice and banter | | Why Women Struggle to Relax | 22:07 | 28:24 | Gendered differences, parenting stress, culture around relaxation |

Tone & Takeaways

The Bert Show’s signature mix of humor, warmth, and openness shines throughout, turning small daily dilemmas into laugh-out-loud confessions and honest group therapy. From tracking down a traffic cop to untangling the mysteries of kids’ phases and adult stress, the cast and their callers serve up an episode that's relatable, memorable, and characteristically heartening.