Full Show PT 3: Wednesday, January 21 [Vault]

Summary

The Bert Show – Full Show PT 3: Wednesday, January 21 [Vault]

Date: January 21, 2026
Podcast: The Bert Show (Pionaire Podcasting)
Host/Cast: Bert, Kristin, Abby, Cassie, Tommy, & guests

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Episode Overview

This episode offers the classic Bert Show blend: celebrity interviews (including a lively and candid chat with 50 Cent), dramatic and funny listener relationship dilemmas, personal anecdotes, and community connections. The team keeps the morning radio energy high and real, moving seamlessly from pop culture to deeply personal audience calls and quirky community stories.

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Key Segments & Discussions

1. Interview with 50 Cent: On Success, Criticism & New Ventures

Timestamps: 00:00 – 20:49

Highlights:

• "Get Rich or Die Tryin'" Release & Public Reaction:

  • 50 Cent discusses the big day for his film release, the pressure, and the surrounding controversy, especially over the movie’s marketing and its use of guns.
    Quote:

    “It's a gun on the poster. How often have you seen a gun used for marketing for a film?... But, I mean, look at The Rock, got something coming out right now with a huge gun on the cover. The Matrix, Doom... Everybody's sold guns before on advertisement for a film.” – 50 Cent (04:45)

• Responsibility in Art

  • On whether he feels a sense of social responsibility for his music’s influence:

    “My responsibility is to write the true perspective of what goes on there... these are standards that are placed on music... that aren't placed on any other form of entertainment.” – 50 Cent (06:06)

• Staying Focused Amidst Criticism:

  • 50 Cent identifies losing focus as the true danger to his career:

    “Can't nobody do nothing to me that hurts my situation outside of myself. And that's me not being focused and creating the best possible product.” (08:16)

• Success Abroad vs. the US:

  • He finds international crowds more appreciative:

    “People overseas... have to make a decision to enjoy hip hop as an art form. They have to search for it... The energy level is higher... In the US everybody feels like they have what it takes... they watch from a critic standpoint.” (10:31)

• Industry Awards & Perception:

  • Discusses being denied Best New Artist, Kanye West’s rise, and industry “politics.”

    “My music outperformed everybody's, but they decided not to give me best new artist at the Grammy... Now, Kanye West, when he came, he came right after that... It's easier.” (13:30)

• The Movie as a Marketing Tool, Personal Involvement:

  • 50 Cent reveals the film is about 75% based on his true life and more of a tool to connect with fans and promote his music:

    “It's an opportunity to draw my base closer to me, for them to understand some of my experiences. They learn more about my past. They'll understand why I'm making the decisions I'm making in the future.” (15:50)

• Entrepreneurial Hustle:

  • Beyond music and movies, 50 lists a flurry of ventures: sneakers ("RBK G63"), video game (“Bulletproof”), and more.

    “And I got my new sneaker through RBK. The G63 will be in stores November 10th. My video game Bulletproof... November 15th. Watches... November 22nd. Got a lot of things going on.” (19:31)

• Notable Moment:

  • 50 and the crew joke about creating a “Bert Show shoe.” (20:27)

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2. Listener Drama: The “Divorce Ring” Dilemma

Timestamps: 21:01 – 37:50

Situation:

Michelle, a listener, seeks advice when her ex-husband asks for her wedding ring/diamond to propose to his new girlfriend—in exchange for writing off $1,300 owed by Michelle from a child support overpayment.

Key Moments:

• The Offer & Emotional Tug-of-War:

  • Michelle’s ex frames the ring as a way to balance debts; Michelle is torn about the ring's meaning for her children. The Bert Show team and callers react with disbelief, humor, and practical advice.

    Quote:

    “He says, I tell you what he says, this is my proposal. If you give me the wedding ring, I'll say we're even, we're square, you don't owe me a dime, and I'll even go as far as to give you back the money you've already paid me, which is about 150 bucks…” – Michelle (26:03)

• Advice From Hosts & Listeners:

  • Most say: keep the ring, pass it down to her daughters, or at least get any agreement in writing if she does proceed.

  • Callers debate the symbolic value of the ring, the “bad karma” argument, and criticize the ex for penny-pinching over his own kids.

  • Humorous suggestions: buy a cheap diamond and pass it off as her ring’s stone to the clueless ex.

    Quote:

    “I think that's a fantastic suggestion from Jen because that way you have the band to give to your daughter...” – Cassie (31:03)
    “That's probably way true. Right there… Actually thinking about going to ball machine and getting one out of there.” – Michelle jokes (33:22)

• Legal Gray Area:

  • Michelle clarifies that repayment arrangements were somewhat informal and that enforcement would be costly and petty.

• Consensus:

  • Keep the ring or the band, set clear terms, and protect her interests and her children.

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3. Listener Story: The “Italian Curse” & Singing Telegram Side Hustle

Timestamps: 38:00 – 47:21

Dina’s Wild Ride:

• Family Curse Backstory:

  • Dina, another listener and recurring show character, describes a lifetime of bizarre misfortune she attributes to a “mlach” (malocchio, or evil eye)—a supposed Italian curse placed on her by a jealous cousin.

  • Stories include medical misdiagnosis for her child (“boy in a bubble” disease, which turned out to be false), tragicomic episodes, and even stumbling upon a dead body but feeling “totally unaffected.”

    Quote:

    “Any halfway successful Italian girl is in danger of the mlach... you wear your Italian horn to protect yourself. But mine broke, and she thinks that's when it happened.” – Dina (39:17)

• Coping & Moving Forward:

  • She claims her attitude saves her:

    “I think that my attitude towards it just makes it better. Like, nothing really fazes me anymore.” (44:39)

• Entrepreneurial Turn:

  • Despite the misadventures, Dina launches a singing telegram business, “Poetic Justice,” and the show offers airtime to help jumpstart it.
  • The crew jokes about “sings” for every possible occasion, even relationship revenge.

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4. On-Air Singing Telegram: Wake-Up Call for a Snooze-Happy Husband

Timestamps: 47:21 – 52:22

The Situation:

Listener Kathy complains her husband Shane hits the snooze button repeatedly, disturbing her sleep.

How It Unfolds:

• Setup:

  • The team calls Shane live, waking him, and delivers a custom singing telegram from Kathy (courtesy of Dina’s new business) essentially warning him to stop snoozing—or face a halt in “getting play.”

    Quote:

    “The clock is set for 6am, oh, every day now. Then you push the snooze and go back to dreaming and that's not okay now... 'cause she will snooze, snooze, snooze, next time you try to get some play.” – Dina's singing telegram (50:57)

• Immediate Aftermath:

  • Shane is groggy, confused, and not pleased. The crew and Kathy laugh it off, hoping the musical intervention solves her problem.

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Notable Quotes

• On Overcoming Criticism:

  “At the end of the day, you know, I realized that they only doubted me because generally people in the public don't believe in themselves.”
  – 50 Cent (09:43)

• On Awards & Success:

  “Ambition is not a learned behavior. I think it's a part of a person's character. And for me, what makes me happy is creating a new goal and accomplishing it.”
  – 50 Cent (14:23)

• On Family Heirlooms:

  “If the children want the ring, you shouldn't give it to him. But if he's willing to sign off $1300 and give you the money back you've already paid him for a $200 ring, give him back the ring and get it in writing.”
  – Listener Donna (30:19)

• On Adapting To Life's Weird Turns:

  “Like, I just laugh about everything. Nothing upsets me. I have more... there's another layer...”
  – Dina (43:50)

• On Relationships & Annoyances:

  “This is the kind of thing that is real small when you first get married, you know, but then as time moves on, that snooze, that was acceptable because you're so in with love, the beginning just becomes louder and louder and louder the longer you get married.”
  – Bert (48:56)

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Segment Timestamps

| Section | Highlights | Start | |--------------------------------------|---------------------------------------------|---------| | 50 Cent Interview | Music, movies, criticism, business hustle | 00:00 | | Listener “Divorce Ring” Drama | Ex asks for ring for new fiancée | 21:01 | | Dina’s “Italian Curse” & Business | Life misadventures, new singing telegram | 38:00 | | On-Air Singing Telegram | Kathy vs. husband's snooze button | 47:21 |

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Tone & Style

The Bert Show’s hallmark humor, warmth, and authenticity come through in every conversation—whether offering industry insight with 50 Cent, tangling with bizarro listener situations, or lampooning life’s little annoyances. The hosts are empathetic, playful, and, above all, real.

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Summary Takeaways

• The Bert Show walks the line between pop culture, real-life messiness, and community fun.
• 50 Cent provides sharp takes on fame’s double-edge, industry politics, and creative drive.
• Listener segments deliver ample drama and relatability, ranging from divorce debts to family folklore curses.
• Singing telegrams become an unexpectedly cathartic and comedic tool for relationship grievances.
• Above all, the show stays true to its mission: making mornings bearable by keeping it real and funny.

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For more engaging real talk and community connections, catch the daily Bert Show episodes on your favorite platform.

Transcript

[A]

The third show. 50. Big day for him today. Big day for him today. He's got Get Rich or Die Tryin coming out. You're seeing the posters all over the place. There's a soundtrack that goes along with it. Also. Think he was just nominated for a whole bunch of vibe awards also. 50's feeling pretty good about 50 right now. 50, you there?

[B]

Hey, what's up?

[A]

How you doing?

[B]

Oh, man, anything's good.

[A]

First, the first thing we gotta ask you is, are you east coast right now? Are you West Coast?

[B]

East Coast.

[A]

Okay, so it's nine o' clock to you. Because I know, like, if it was on the west coast and it was 6 o' clock your time, then I gotta ask you the remedial questions.

[C]

Feel more awake right now.

[A]

That's right.

[B]

Yeah. I'm up.

[A]

Hey, 50, before we get into some of the stuff that you've got your hands into right now, I want to get a professional opinion from you.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

And I want to tell you where I'm going with this. Dallas Austin here, you know, Dallas Austin, big time producer here in Atlanta. Right. I mean, he's worked with everybody. This guy's the man.

[B]

Right.

[A]

Well, the mayor of Atlanta has assigned him a very, really, really tough job, and that is to write an anthem for the city of Atlanta.

[B]

Wow.

[A]

So this is a song that is supposed to represent all four and a half million people here. All walks, lights, all communities and stuff like that, right?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Now, this guy is a genius, obviously, but it's a pretty tough order.

[B]

That's a tough. I think they should have took the. What's the name? It's the new record Ludacris put out. Is it Georgia? Georgia from Ludacris. Rachel.

[A]

From Ludacris. Because everybody here was thinking that Jermaine.

[B]

I think it's his group from.

[A]

Ludicrous group. I'm in the. I'm in the dark. I do want to say this.

[B]

Heard the record.

[A]

I haven't heard that record sample from.

[B]

Ray Charles in it or judges.

[D]

I think maybe I haven't heard that.

[C]

I don't know if I've heard that version.

[A]

Yeah, you know, I want to do those. I want to play like the 32nd kind of piece of audio that we have of the Dallas Austin anthem for you and like, get your professional opinion on it.

[B]

All right.

[A]

Because we've played it the last couple of days and I'm bummed for Dallas, but, you know, like, Atlanta's like, not embracing it. So let me play it for you. Tell me what you think all right.

[E]

More than any other place.

[A]

At this point, that's all of the song that we have.

[B]

Wow.

[A]

Now, from a professional standpoint, I mean, you're in the industry. What do you think?

[B]

Sounds like a great record. It sounds like a regular party record, though. Doesn't sound like an anthem.

[A]

I think that's what people are getting all jacked up about. Like, it's a good.

[C]

Well, well, I. I think that, you know, there was so much because Atlanta's trying to do a whole new branding thing. So it's not just an anthem that we have a new logo, and it's just, you know, trying to get more business into the city of Atlanta. And I just think that it was a lot of pressure on Dallas to come up with something. And I think we were already told something was coming, so I think our expectation was up. And so it's almost like 50 just said. I guess we expected it to be different than what it ended up being.

[B]

Right. I mean, when you say anthem, I'm thinking along Star Spangled Banner line.

[A]

Oh, something a little bit more traditional. Yeah, that's a tough order. Like, if a mayor of a city comes to you and says, I want you to make a song that represents the whole city.

[B]

It would never come to me.

[A]

They might. They don't want to hear what you have to say.

[B]

They mad the kids.

[A]

Listen, that's a tough order. It's a really tough order. But we just wanted to throw that bay to see, like, somebody in the industry to see what they thought about it, you know. Yeah, that's tough. It's a tough order. Well, let's talk about Get Rich or die trying here. A little bit of controversy starting to come out about it already. But you're used to handling this kind of thing.

[B]

Oh, yeah, yeah.

[D]

Yesterday, the LA community leaders were coming out and saying they were repulsed by your movies posters Get. Get Rich or Die Trying because of the guns on the posters. How do you respond to all that?

[B]

I mean, it's a gun on the poster. How often have you seen a gun used for marketing for a film? You know, if we go on the local blockbusters or wherever we can rent DVDs or movies, you'll see it probably more than you see people's faces. These are standards that are placed on music as an art form that aren't placed on any other form of entertainment. And because I'm from coming from music to film, they still want to feel like it's a problem, like, you know, say things about it. But, I mean, look at the rock got something coming out right now with a huge gun on the COVID The Matrix.

[C]

Doom. Talking about doom.

[B]

Yeah. So many different things that they come out with that have guns in it. Everybody's sold guns before on advertisement for a film.

[A]

So you think the reason why they're focusing on you is because you're trying to go from music to movies?

[B]

Yeah, yeah, because they have a problem with. Think about it. When the last time you seen a gun on the COVID of a cd, it wasn't. It was being distributed by a major company that was probably 97 with KRS1 criminal minded. You know what I mean? Like for me, you have to do that. You have to put that art inside the packaging.

[D]

Do you think that there is a social responsibility in art and in your music? I mean, do you feel a responsibility to your fan base? We sort of debate that on this show a lot with different artists.

[B]

Yeah, I do. But you know what? I write a music that's a reflection of the environment that I come from. My responsibility is to write the true perspective of what goes on there. See, they pick a situation, probably a day to put in the newspaper that goes on where I'm from when there's several situations that go on. Like when they speak about me being shot nine times that has been beaten into the heads of the general public through different media outlets and other publications because journalists are infatuated with it. Trust me, I wouldn't ask. I wouldn't ask to talk about that if they didn't ask me those questions, you know, And I know people who've been through more, you know what I'm saying? And if you look at their actual format, like for entertainment, period in the history of entertainment, they build entertainers in order to destroy them for the sake of entertainment. So as I start to get to a point where I don't even feel like I'm peaking, but they do. You know what I mean? It starts to be new obstacles constantly.

[C]

Is there more pressure on starting out or is it pressure when, like you said, they think you're peaking? Is there more pressure now that you're successful and they're just finding a way to knock you off the top of the mountain?

[B]

Well, I think that that's difficult, you know, because you have other things going on when your pressure is there with you coming out, you know, like your financial problem, you know. So that pressure is probably more than when, you know, in a good space. Everything else is there, but people just want to see you not do well.

[A]

What is like 50? I got to ask you this question because it always seems like there's, there's like something like you got to be looking over your shoulder. It seems to me like in just about every corner of your world, you know, like if it's not the media, then it's other artists that are taking shots at you. Like, what do you see could be the most dangerous thing to your empire already? Like, what's the thing that you fear? Do you fear anything?

[B]

Losing focus, that's all you know, for me. Can't nobody do nothing to me that hurts my situation outside of myself. And that's me not being focused and creating the best possible product. You know what I mean? As far as going in to make music for a new album, I believe that they didn't really want to see this record do as well as the last one to date. I have the best selling album this year.

[A]

And why do you think that is?

[B]

Because I did a good job, man. I sat there, I worked on my project. I know better than to stop working now because I just relaxed for a little bit while I was putting out Lloyd Banks album and Young Bucks record. I just kind of sat back and then I started creating again. And I felt all this new pressure because there's a shadow of doubt cast over artists between each project he releases. Regardlessly if you're dealing with the general public. And I didn't understand that. I showed nothing but consistency having my album sell 11 million records. Thanks for mercy. Our group album sold 3.5, bank sold 2 bucks, sold 1.5. Didn't have game record come out and be a success and still have people doubt me. They didn't doubt whether I could make a good record. They said, do you think you can do it again? Because I had so much success my first album. And at the end of the day, you know, I realized that they only doubted me because generally people in the public don't believe in themselves. So that has to happen. It's the telephone game. As one person asks the other one, you think you're going to do it again. And then that starts to become the move. 50.

[A]

Is some of this starting to beat you down a little bit? Because as I was reading some interviews that you've done recently on the Internet, I started to catch this reoccurring theme, like, maybe I'm gonna head over to Europe for a little while. Maybe I'm gonna take myself out of the US public eye.

[B]

You know what? For a moment after the release of the Massacre, I was ready to go out of the country because I Have more fun performing outside of the United States than I do performing here.

[C]

Really? Why?

[B]

Because people overseas, they have to make a decision to enjoy hip hop as an art form. They have to search for it. You know what I mean? And what it is is a lot of people that come see me, my venues is exactly the same size I do 30,000 people a night while I'm overseas. So while I'm outside of the country, I got an audience of people. Some of them don't even speak English, Watch my music, break the language barrier. They're that excited about being in the actual environment and why everything's going on that they come out and the energy level is higher. They still can view things from a fan perspective because they're not that personal with it. In the US everybody feels like they have what it takes. So they watch. From a critic standpoint, you know, if they don't have actual major record label deal, their homeboy down the block got his own studio in the basement and he feels like he's an independent record company now.

[A]

This is almost like a double edged sword because if all rappers and hip hop artists had your attitude and moved to Europe, then Europeans would start to develop the same attitudes as Americans and you'd just be traveling all over the world trying to find a new audience.

[B]

Yeah, it was. The significance of my situation is I can go over there and have the same venues. A lot of artists don't go overseas a lot because they take a pay cut. They're not as popular over there. So they end up in smaller venues and get less money for performance. So they don't go out there. In my case, them is King Kong out there. He's the biggest. When we go out there together, the 30,000 people venues turn into 80,000. We on the soccer field. Wow.

[A]

I want to talk about some of these artist 50 that. That I don't know if you want to call it in competition with, but just that are in the same genre, same format. Because I read yesterday that at one point you had said Kanye is successful because of you.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Why is that?

[B]

See, what I was saying is even the resistance that I'm getting towards being on a poster with a gun, like the advertisement of a film with a gun. You know how often you've seen these things. They're making a decision to try and go against what I'm writing creatively at that point. Having my album come out the first time, I outperformed everybody as far as show dates. I performed 300 shows in 365 days on give it to Dodge Ryan. Away from that. My album sold 11 million copies. I sold everybody that came out the year that I came out, still, I was overlooked as best new artist. So my music outperformed everybody's, but they decided not to give me best new artist at the Grammy. Now, Kanye west, when he came, he came right after that. And it's non confrontational.

[D]

He's more palatable.

[B]

Yeah, it's easier for like, if you look, you'll see him on the COVID of Time magazine. Not because his success as a musician is placing him there, but he's. Now it's an easier goal. We can pick this and go. His theme is college dropout.

[D]

But his song was about Jesus and not about get rich or die tryin'. Is that what you mean?

[B]

Yeah, you know what I mean. At the end of the day, regardless, the overall theme is my trophies come. They usually have signatures under them. They check. All right, you see what I'm saying? And these people make decisions on. That's politics. That's all. You know, And I don't like to get involved with it much. You know, I just. I say what I feel. Same way Kanye west will say exactly what he feel. I actually like him for the things that he said.

[D]

So is that frustrating for you not to take home these awards you feel like you've earned?

[B]

It's not frustrating. You know what? I only care about the shows that are actually based on the performance of the music. Right now I'm in a financial space where I'm content with where I'm at. Ambition is not a learned behavior. I think it's a part of a person's character. And for me, what makes me happy is creating a new goal and accomplishing it. So I'll continue to work. It may not appear that I'm happy with where I'm at because I'll constantly work on something new. This is what makes me happy. But I am content. I really look at the soundscan as an indication of how many people I'm reaching.

[A]

So are the Vibe Awards one of these awards that you really feel are credible that you'd like to take home?

[B]

Billboard is Billboard Awards are based on the actual performance of the music.

[A]

So it's not an opinion. These are based on facts, these are based on stats, These are based on money. And that's what you're about.

[B]

That's right. Billboard, nascap, and I've been asked right of the year for, you know, I didn't get it one year because I didn't have a record Out.

[A]

How about Get Rich or Die Trying? Now, the movie. This has got to fire you up. Because now, I mean, if there's one thing you've told us in the couple of times that we've talked now, is that you're always looking to kind of try to stretch yourself, go to the next level. And now we're looking at acting.

[B]

Yep.

[A]

So how important is it to you now for this movie to be financially successful?

[B]

Oh, man. It's important for me for the people to go out and enjoy the film. I actually took a pay cut making this film. If I was torn for the three and a half months that I was on a movie set in Toronto shooting it, I would have made more money. It's not even about that for me. It's an opportunity to draw my base closer to me, for them to understand some of my experiences. They learn more about my past. They'll understand why I'm making the decisions I'm making in the future, which will make me just more entertaining to them, period.

[A]

So the movie, really, you look at the movie more as a marketing tool to sell the music?

[B]

Yeah, yeah.

[D]

And this is loosely based on your life?

[B]

Yes.

[D]

Okay.

[A]

How loose?

[B]

It's about 75% factual.

[C]

Okay.

[B]

And then, you know, they use the tools in growth. In some situations, they expand, and others, they minimize it.

[D]

Does it reflect any of your childhood? We know your mom passed when you were fairly young. Is that addressed in the film?

[B]

Yeah.

[D]

Do you have memories of her?

[B]

Yeah. When I was 8, my mom used to come around.

[A]

Is there anything that you wanted to put in this movie that the movie company said? Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no. That's never gonna fly.

[B]

You know what? They. They let me make the changes. I made a lot of changes early with the actual. With Terry Winters, the guy who came out to compile information and create the screenplay for Get Ready to Die Trying. So I kind of got what I wanted early, and then I stopped asking for everything else. I just relaxed because I got the overall story. I was comfortable with it. And then I was able to get with Jim Sheridan. I had a great director on this film, you know, and as me and him linked up, I just sat in the back seat. I let him take control, you know, I mean, it's my first experience being on a film set, and I wanted to learn as much as possible, so I was paying really close attention to everything that was going on. Wow. What'd you learn while you were following the structure?

[A]

What'd you learn while you were on that movie set? You Said you were learning a whole bunch of stuff.

[B]

Oh, man. My comfortability with being in front of the camera is probably 100 times more than you than before. See, when you're in front of the camera doing music videos, you're usually performing into camera, and that's exactly the opposite of what you're supposed to be doing in film.

[C]

Okay, that's a good point.

[A]

Movie comes out. Is it this week?

[B]

The movie will be out November 9th.

[A]

November 9th. And soundtrack.

[B]

Soundtrack, November 8th. I'm excited about that. I got a chance to write the soundtrack while I was making the film in between. And there's a scene in the film where the young version of my character Marcus, is looking in the store at a pair of sneakers. That's where I created the concept for the song Window Shopping. I just wrote it from a 50 cent perspective opposed to the actual character.

[A]

So you. I'm guessing that helped in the writing of the soundtrack. I mean, if you're shooting this movie and you're writing music for it at the same time, that's gotta help.

[B]

Well, you know what? It. At some points, it did. Some points, it got confusing because it's difficult to write for scenes in the film because you have all of the information about the film in your head because you read the entire script. So you start giving up the. That are gonna happen next before they actually happen. So you gotta go back and rewrite it.

[A]

That does make sense. That could be all confusing. And again, the Movie coming out November 9th. Soundtrack, November 8th. Correct.

[B]

Yep. And I got my new sneaker through RBK. The G63 will be in stores November 10th. My video game Bulletproof through Universal Indie, comes out November 15th. Watches his stores November 22nd. Got a lot of things going on.

[A]

I always wonder, like, how much, like, how much input do you really have in a shoe? Like, you can't know much about shoes.

[B]

I know what I like. I keep telling them what they keep going back until I'm happy with the shoe. See, my shoes have a more classic vibe. You see the new shoes that kind of look like space shoes. They going towards, like, all the new basketball shoes. They use patent leather and these silvers and all this other stuff. I'm really with all of that, you know? So I have them tone my shoes all the way down. I go back to something that will have a kind of classic vibe, but a new twist to it.

[A]

We're gonna come out with the same thing. We gotta learn a little bit of marketing from 50 here. We're coming out with Bert show shoe I like it. You wait for that Bert show shoe. Yeah, Bert show shoe, man. Over the next couple of weeks, I'm gonna start designing this thing. All right, dude. All right, 50. Good talking to you, man. Good luck with everything. Good luck with the soundtrack, good luck with the movie, and good luck with the other 914 projects you got your hands in, man.

[B]

All right.

[A]

All right. Talk to you later.

[B]

All right, peace. Bye.

[E]

Bye.

[A]

The Bird show. In the meantime, let's get Michelle on. Good morning, Michelle.

[F]

Good morning, Burt Show.

[A]

How are you today?

[F]

I'm good. How are you?

[A]

Good. When producer Tracy told us that you emailed her last week, we're like, okay, this cannot be real. No guy can be this clueless. Right?

[F]

Yeah.

[A]

Why don't you detail for everybody the history, what's going on now, his request, why he's got you in a corner.

[F]

Okay. A little bit of history. We were, of course, obviously married. We were married for about seven years, and things just didn't work out between us. We. And I separated tonight and I left him, and so I went to get the divorce. Everything. Well, about two months later, you know, since we've been separated, he goes and finds himself a girlfriend, which is, you know, it threw me off. And I thought, okay, well, I don't want to get back with a guy. Well, to not top it off, she was pregnant with somebody else's child. So that made me feel really good. And she was like 20, so made me feel really good and confident.

[A]

So how old is. How old is your ex husband?

[F]

He is 31.

[A]

All right.

[G]

And classy girl.

[F]

Yes, very nice, sweet high school girl. So. Which is fine. So. And then they, you know, separate. Finally, I get him to sign the divorce papers, and we've been divorced for about a year. And he just started dating a new girl a couple months ago. And I've met her once. She seems really nice, really young, and she's good to my kids because we both have two children together. And he gave me a call last week and said, asked if I still had my wedding ring. I said, yes, I do. He says, well, I was wondering if I could have it. I said, okay, what for? He says, oh, well, you know, I'd like to have it. And having a conversation with him is like pulling teeth. I said, okay, what for? Well, for decoration. For who? Well, I want to give it to my girlfriend.

[D]

Unbelievable.

[F]

I said, why? Well, you know, we love each other and we want to get married, and I just don't have the money to go out and get a wedding ring right now and I want to give it to her for Christmas.

[G]

Wow.

[F]

I said, well, that's kind of crappy to give. And here I am giving him advice that's kind of crappy to give your girlfriend your ex wife's ring. I said, well, I said you can't give her a wedding ring as an engagement ring because both of the bands are welded together. I said, you can't do that. He said, oh well, I'll get that unwelded. I said, well, but you can't do that. He says, well, she doesn't have to know. And I said, well, your kids will bust you because your kids know what it looks like. Oh no they won't, Michelle.

[C]

I'm just surprised you even had that much of a discussion with him. Like, no.

[F]

Yeah, a lot of times I find myself giving him advice on how to treat his girlfriend.

[C]

Yeah, well that's, I mean, that's your decision to do that. I just, I really. Are you seriously considering giving him that ring?

[F]

I said, you know, I don't know, I've got to think about it. I thought I've got a meeting I got to go into, which I did. And I said, you know, I'll give you a call later. Give me, I'll give you a couple of days. Well, he calls me back and leaves me a message and says, oh, you must think I'm some kind of moron. I just want the diamond and I'll go and reset it myself. But yes, the whole conversation that we had earlier he was telling me he didn't have a diamond, he needed the whole entire ring. But now he's telling me he has got, he's got extra money to go get it reset.

[A]

Is there a reason why you just did not say no, this is ridiculous, move on?

[F]

Yes, there is a reason why like I said, when we first got divorced, it was about nine month period before I was able to get him to sign the divorce paperwork. And at that time he was a certain amount of money arrearage and child support because I had to beg him to pay child support. Well, they said, okay, we can get child support and the extra amount taken out of his check automatically and when that amount is paid off, it'll stop. Well, it didn't stop. It just kept going and going. And of course he was making phone calls to me every month saying, you owe me this, yo me this, yo me this. You need to get this money back to me. And honestly I wasn't in a hurry to get it back to him because I just didn't feel like I needed to do him any favors. So he finally got an attorney and got an attorney to get that stopped. Now I owe him money from the overpayment that he was paying me.

[A]

How much do you owe?

[F]

About thirteen hundred dollars.

[A]

And is he holding that thirteen hundred dollars, saying, look, if you give me the ring or you give me the diamond, then we'll clear the record?

[F]

Yes. He says, I tell you what he says, this is my proposal. If you give me the wedding ring, I'll say we're even, we're square, you don't owe me a dime, and I'll even go as far as to give you back the money you've already paid me, which is about 150 bucks, I'm thinking. And I said, now, at first I was trying to talk him out of it because I thought, you know, I. I wanted to keep the ring just for sentimental reasons, just for my children. I didn't want to keep it because, you know, I love him and all that kind of stuff. No, I wanted to keep it for my children because I kept all of my wedding pictures, my wedding album for my kids, so my kids can see this, because my parents didn't do that. My parents got a divorce. My mom went to the house and just started burning stuff and throwing stuff away. I wanted to keep this for my children. I mean, granted, they're only 4 and 5. They don't plan on getting married next month, but I wanted to keep this for them.

[D]

I can understand that.

[A]

404-741-1005 so you're gonna get this agreement in writing.

[F]

I've discussed this with quite a few girlfriends. And they all, of course, immediately started laughing. And then they said, well, yeah, I would get the. Get it in writing. And if you do decide to give him the ring and get all your money up front before you give him anything.

[A]

Now, for you personally, in that ring, I mean, is it a symbol to you of, like, where you were in your life at one point? Is it something that if you give away, like, it really wouldn't matter to you? I mean, just. Just from your end. Because from his end, it's ridiculous to me. And from the girlfriend's end, if she ever finds out that diamond came from your ring, she's gonna be livid. But I'm just wondering, just to get this guy off of your back, get out of the debt. Does the ring mean that much to you?

[F]

Honestly? It was my. That was my first wedding, first marriage. It was my second engagement ring that I've ever received in my entire life. I loved it. It was beautiful. But I am willing to give it up if it means getting rid of a debt especially owed to him.

[D]

Can he make sure that that is put in writing for you? Because you don't want to? He can't.

[F]

I would probably have to take care of that because I know he would not think that far ahead to get it in writing.

[E]

Okay.

[C]

Because I like the idea of getting in writing. Because you have proof that it happened.

[A]

Yeah. He doesn't sound like he's such a great soldier here that anything can happen.

[F]

He would be that type of person. Next year, I'll be getting a phone call saying, hey, what about all that money you owe me?

[C]

Well, no. And also the fact that of this ridiculous exchange that actually took place, that is documented, that he asked that of you and that you gave it to him so that his future wife will find out someday.

[D]

Oh, that's true, too. Yeah.

[F]

That'll probably be another phone call to you guys next year.

[A]

We'll be waiting. Good morning, Kim. You're on the Bird show. All the hits. Q100.

[F]

Hey, guys, I just want to know, do you have a daughter? Does she have a daughter or sons or. I have daughters. Okay. That ring needs to go to your daughters when they get married. I have two sets of my mother's wedding rings. My mother passed away, but that's what I have to remember her by.

[G]

You know what? Why do you want to pass down something to your daughter that symbolizes a marriage that didn't work out?

[F]

Well, I mean, I have wedding rings for my mother from when she divorced my father when I was 18 months old. But that's a part of my mother.

[H]

It's a part of her.

[C]

And regardless, those are your parents, whether they work out or not.

[F]

Exactly. And she was married to my dad, and even though they divorced when I was 18 months old, that's the only thing I have of when they were together.

[G]

And karma, there's bad germs in there.

[A]

You think there's bad relationship contagious on there.

[C]

I understand. Because that will be very meaningful to the children. Because you do want to know that you came from something that at one time was special.

[A]

Hey, Donna. Good morning.

[F]

Good morning. This may sound kind of crass, but I'm kind of curious. What's the value of the ring? Probably about $200.

[A]

$200.

[F]

$200. Okay. I had a total different feedback for you, but if the ring is worth about $200, I would go ahead, get it in writing. Give him the ring and then about three months from now, make sure she knows that that came from you.

[D]

Maybe she'll give it back and then you get the debt paid off and the ring back.

[C]

Right.

[F]

Well, you know, I think if your children want the ring, I do agree with Kim that if the children want the ring, you shouldn't give it to him. But if he's willing to sign off $1300 and give you the money back, you've already paid him for a $200 ring, give him back the ring and get it in writing.

[D]

Or maybe like what he said how he just wanted the diamond. Maybe you keep the ring for the symbolic nature of it and maybe you replace the diamond because they're.

[F]

There was the actual engagement ring and then in the band was like little tiny baguettes. Well, I don't know if he's wanting to take out because his story is changing. So I don't know if he wants to take out just that one diamond or take out the whole thing or, you know, I don't know.

[C]

I think that's a fantastic suggestion from Jen because that way you have the band to give to your daughter. By the time she gets old enough, you'll be able to replace the diamond.

[A]

Hey, Cindy. Good morning.

[H]

Good morning. How are you?

[A]

Good.

[H]

I'm confused. I'm wondering why it is that as a parent of two young children and their ages 4 and 5, if she's the custodial parent, why she even owes.

[F]

Him child support at all? I mean, if they're living with her, why wouldn't he be paying her child support? I don't understand that part.

[G]

Well, she explained earlier that he did pay, but he was paying her and he overpaid. So what she's doing is she's paying him back.

[H]

I see.

[A]

Okay, thank you. Bye and good morning. You're on all the hits Q100.

[B]

Hi.

[F]

Hi. My name is Christina. I just got recently divorced, like not even a month ago. Tell her not to give that ring. That has nothing to do what she owes him. That makes no sense. That's just stupid.

[A]

Well, she wants to get out of that financial rock that she's under right now. She thinking this is the only way to do it.

[F]

No, that's not the only. I've been in financial rock with my ex husband and he, in a way, still loves her. The only reason he went back to her to tell her give me the ring back is because he wants a reaction from her. That is all. That makes no sense. That ring has nothing to do with what he. She owes him, that's money. And a ring that, that's a symbol of what they had in the past.

[G]

But why keep that? Like, why? I don't understand. Why keep a symbol of something that ended badly? Especially when you have pictures and wedding books and, you know, all that stuff. And like, I think for the kid.

[C]

I think for the kids, I, I.

[G]

Why would you want to pass down something to the kids that ended even.

[C]

Though it means differently for the kids, it means differently. If I came from divorced parents again, though, I can't. They're my parents. It doesn't matter how the marriage ended. Those are still my parents. And I think a symbol of their union together that brought me into this world would mean something regardless of how it ended, you know?

[A]

Chad with a suggestion. Hey, Chad.

[B]

Hey. How you doing?

[A]

All right.

[B]

Yeah, Most guys aren't real smart. You could go spend a few hundred bucks on a center stone, give it to him, tell him she had to take him out of her set, and keep the ring. You never know.

[A]

That's probably way true. Right There could be. That's probably way true. Yep, I know.

[F]

Actually thinking about going to ball machine and getting one out of there.

[A]

He wouldn't know.

[D]

Bubble gum machine.

[A]

He wouldn't know.

[D]

Now, this sounds a little weird, but isn't it? Does it strike anybody else as strange that he wants. Wants this money back? Like, overpaying for his kids?

[A]

The whole thing is strange.

[D]

Well, yeah, the whole thing is strange, but like, it's, you know, it's $1,300 that he's given her for his children.

[A]

His own kids. Right.

[D]

The fact that you owe that back to him strikes me as a little weird. In the first place, I guess I.

[A]

Didn'T even think about it.

[D]

For your kids.

[E]

That's not.

[G]

Yeah, but his thing is he probably.

[D]

Like, does he stop paying child support at a certain age or something? Like, they're still young kids.

[F]

He's supposed to stop paying child support at the age of 18. He's got another 14 years to pay.

[D]

So can't this apply towards future months? I'm confused. I'm confused. Are you owing back his money that he's using to pay for your kids?

[F]

Well, he doesn't, he doesn't see it that way because he sees it as that little bit of extra money that I have is going to my wild parties and all the drinking that I go and have and these wild vacations I take that. It's, it's not being spent on shoes for school, another pair of Jeans, book bags, you know.

[C]

Well, what is the law? I mean, because that. That's. This is the part of the divorce is all the emotion that's involved in it.

[D]

What.

[C]

Explain again the legal. Your legal obligation to pay him back.

[F]

Is there one actually between him and I? Because I have called the important. The child enforcement people. They said, okay, well, it was written down in our divorce agreement that he would pay me back this certain amount at this certain amount per week. And then after that, it just says, after that debt is paid off, then it stops. And it didn't. But they said we should handle it between ourselves. That is between him and I. Now we can't. Now, he went to an attorney, and the attorney said, well, you know, we could sue her for that money back. But he said, it's gonna cost you a lot of money. It's all cost her a lot of money to go to court. He said, I think you just need to call her and see if you guys can work something out.

[A]

Let me take one more call for you here. Michelle, Good morning, Lorena. You're on all the hits. Q100.

[F]

How you doing?

[A]

Good. Thank you for calling.

[F]

Hey, guess what? If he made you a payment and he didn't keep track of it, and he's giving you money, that's a gift, and he can't legally take it from you, so let him take you to court. It'll cost $2,700 for him to get a lawyer and get you into court.

[D]

Which he's probably not going to do anyway. Follow through on.

[F]

Oh, it wouldn't be financially worth it unless he was just vindictive. Plus, if he gets into a court and he says I overpaid her and I did this and that, and they're going to say you're vindictive.

[A]

What a mess. I wish there were. There are times in your life where you could, like, TiVo back and just see it all over again. Because I would love to hear the conversation when he asked you to get the ring, to take the ring back and use it on his younger girlfriend.

[C]

Well, Michelle's not. I mean, listen to what Michelle said. Like, she gave him advice on his relationships with these younger women. Like, she's not letting it go. So, I mean, she. She can see she's considering it, and she probably. I don't know. I just feel like Michelle's not being strong enough in it. Like, I know this is the father of your kids, but I'm shocked that you're even. Entertaining thought. Absolutely.

[B]

It's.

[F]

It's the money issue. That's. That's what got me. It's the money issue. If he is willing to write off all of that money, I'm willing to say, here, have it.

[A]

All I can tell. All I can tell you is most people are calling up saying, don't do it, don't do it. Don't do it, don't do it.

[G]

I'm on the other side.

[A]

You think the ring.

[E]

Yeah.

[A]

Shouldn't have any sentimental value anyway.

[G]

It's kind of tainted.

[C]

I like the idea that Jen suggested. First of all, in writing, Whatever you do, Michelle, don't cave in and be, oh, well, this is. I've married seven years. He's my friend. Blah, blah, blah, blah. Writing. Put whatever agreement you have in writing. But, yeah, take the stone. You know, keep the. Keep the ring. Give him the stone. Put that in writing.

[A]

Or I like Chad's idea. Go out and buy yourself another stone. Give it to him. He'll never know the difference. The dude will never know the difference.

[F]

He won't.

[A]

Never. All right, Michelle, we got all your info. We gotta follow up with you. When are you gonna make this decision?

[F]

Well, he's got them this coming weekend, so I need to make a phone call here in the next couple of days.

[A]

Well, let's talk to you over the next couple of days, find out what you did, because I know we'll get email on it.

[F]

Okay.

[D]

And do your best to keep your kids out of it.

[A]

Yeah, definitely.

[F]

Yes, I have.

[A]

Good luck, Michelle.

[F]

Thanks for your help. I appreciate it.

[A]

Bye now.

[B]

Bye.

[F]

Bye.

[B]

Get it?

[A]

The bird show. How are you, Dina?

[E]

I'm great.

[A]

What's going on?

[E]

Oh, not much. I've been getting some business.

[A]

Have you now the story here, because, I mean, the last time we had you on was a little later in the show. For those that don't know your history and what you do and what you're trying to do now, kind of give them like a whole recap.

[E]

Okay, let's see. Years ago, all the. Somebody cast much on me, which is an Italian spell, and all this crap started happening.

[A]

Okay, I don't think you brought this up last time. This is a whole new chapter here.

[G]

I don't recall the discussion about witchcraft.

[A]

Yeah, let's all sit down. This may take a while. All right.

[C]

You had an Italian curse placed upon you.

[E]

Yes, and my aunt that knew how to. How to remove it, she passed away.

[G]

Were you chewing on leaves or something.

[A]

Out in the desert, smoking peyote?

[C]

She drank Burt's coffee.

[E]

That's what happens this Is what my mother told me, by the way.

[G]

Hey, you guys, I forgot to tell you. The other week I gave birth. Sorry, that didn't come up. But I delivered twins. They were conjoined.

[A]

Now, the argument or the confrontation between you and somebody else that brought on this spell, you got to give us a little description of what was going on there, okay?

[E]

Any halfway successful Italian girl is in danger of the mlach.

[A]

According to my mother, the malache.

[E]

And you wear your Italian horn to protect yourself. But mine broke, and she thinks that's when it happened. And then one thing led to another and this happened. That happened. Anybody that knew me. And so that's when I started getting therapy. Don't be afraid.

[C]

I'm not afraid. I'm just thinking. So Italian women who are successful always have to be paranoid because somebody who is jealous is going to throw a.

[E]

Exactly.

[C]

Unless they wear their horn.

[G]

Throw a malachi into the plants like a wrench.

[E]

Exactly.

[C]

Trying to keep the woman down.

[B]

Are you?

[A]

The Italian woman?

[C]

The Italian woman down.

[A]

You sure this isn't some tale that your mom made up just like as you were a kid and just never got around to telling you she was just joking with you?

[E]

Maybe. But she sat all of my sisters down. They put water over our heads on a blue plate, and I'm not kidding. And put a needle. And the needle stayed still for all of my sisters and for me, it started twirling around in a circle. It's crazy.

[D]

What is that?

[C]

That's supposed to determine whether you have a curse, I guess.

[G]

Or the person holding your needle is.

[C]

Plates in here with needles over our heads.

[E]

Do you just want her to come in and do it? Onions?

[D]

Yes. Sure. Yeah.

[E]

Oh, God.

[A]

So you put it over Melissa's head?

[C]

Yeah. The needle will fly out the bowl.

[G]

Does she have like, Parkinson's or anything? That's going to jack up that needle, you know, Jen?

[A]

No.

[E]

No.

[D]

But none of us are Italian. Does it?

[C]

Is it only an Italian?

[E]

They say it's only Italian.

[G]

Tracy Palooza.

[A]

Well, her knee.

[G]

Her needle will alphabetize itself and climb into a fire.

[E]

I think she has it. I think that's the curse.

[A]

So to back up again, your mirage. Your mirage gets busted. All of a sudden you're cursed.

[E]

Right? Okay, I went.

[A]

She.

[B]

Right.

[C]

That's the curse, Right.

[E]

I went from totally successful, everybody loves me to having my first child at 30 weeks. Then I told you about the drug addict husband, that whole thing. Then my son being diagnosed with the boy and the plastic bubble disease. Us moving here because of that. Then after 10 years of blood transfusions, then they tell us, no, we never had it. I mean, I could go on and on.

[G]

I don't recall. The point of you having a boy in a bubble.

[C]

Yeah, and then he didn't have it. So you.

[E]

He doesn't have it? No, And I'm. You guys are thinking I'm crazy.

[C]

No, but I'm just like.

[G]

Did you make him live in a bubble for years?

[E]

No, that's the name of the disease. It's gamma globulin G deficiency, dude, the.

[C]

John Travolta TV movie.

[G]

That's what I'm talking about. Did you make him live in a giant bubble?

[E]

No, we didn't, but he. Every three weeks. Seriously, he had to have blood transfusions.

[C]

And then he didn't have it, and.

[E]

He doesn't have it.

[C]

Well, I mean, I'm glad he didn't have it.

[E]

Yeah, I am, too.

[G]

What do you do with the bubble? Does it go on ebay or.

[E]

No, he just. He didn't have a bubble, but he had to be very careful of things. I mean. I'm serious, Jeff.

[G]

Yeah, I believe so.

[C]

Insensitive.

[E]

Okay.

[A]

And you track all this back to when. To the malach? It all started at the m'. Lash.

[E]

That's what they said.

[D]

Who put the mlach on you?

[E]

I. I better not say.

[D]

Oh, could I put another one on somebody that's listening?

[E]

Okay, well, no, she's in Ohio. It's probably my cousin Sherry.

[A]

Your cousin put the malache on you?

[G]

Why would she do that?

[E]

It's a long story.

[D]

Oh, come on.

[E]

I didn't sleep with her husband or anything. It was nothing like that.

[A]

Oh, no, you slept with her husband.

[E]

That's what you did. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

[C]

But she thinks you did.

[D]

How long ago did she put the malache on you?

[E]

I was about 19.

[G]

You can't tell us that you had a molache put on you and your kid lived in a bubble and had to get blood transfusions and then not tell us what you did to your cousin to earn the milk.

[E]

She's just very, very jealous of me. I don't know what else to say. She just is. She was born, and then I was born, and then no one cared about her.

[A]

You ever thought about doing a singing telegram tour?

[G]

There's not a lot of words that rhyme with melange.

[A]

All right, so let's fast forward. Boy, there's a lot of different layers we're gonna have to uncover with you. All right, so we Fast forward. Now you're in this job that you're not digging so much, right? Even, like insulting the boss. And he's still not firing you, Right? And he was listening the last time you were on and you still have that job.

[E]

Well, some of the patients were listening and told him.

[C]

Okay, yeah, just really quickly.

[A]

This is a dentist with a jacked up grill, right? Yeah, yeah.

[C]

I don't mean to go. I don't mean to go back to the Milan or anything, but you had mentioned that a grandmother who knew how to get rid of it died.

[E]

My aunt Tootsie, our aunt.

[C]

Okay, so. So did you get rid of it? So did you get rid of it?

[E]

No.

[C]

So it's still on you?

[E]

I think it's better. It's much better.

[C]

It gets better. Like, like.

[E]

Well, I think it's better because, like, I just laugh about everything. Nothing upsets me. I have more. There's another layer. My son was in the hospital, extremely sick. I'm on my way to see him. I find a dead body on South Cobb Drive in a bush. And I'm not kidding, and it's a homeless guy. And the police come. I have to call three different 91 ones, okay? They connect me, connect me, connect me. They didn't care. They come and get him. They haul him away. I get to the hospital, they say, oh, my gosh, where were you? And I said, oh, I found a dead body. Totally unaffected, because I'm used to it.

[G]

Well, did you know the guy, the homeless guy?

[C]

No, no.

[E]

But I felt like I should go to his funeral. I mean, they know because I don't even think they did anything for him. It was really sad.

[A]

I think we're just, like, building the case here. Like, after the molot was put on you, it's like one thing after the other.

[C]

Do you think it got better because you helped the guy?

[E]

I think that my attitude towards it just makes it better. Like, nothing really fazes me anymore. Okay, so you're playing numb.

[C]

You've embraced the melange.

[E]

Exactly.

[A]

Find love in the melange.

[E]

Please don't think I'm crazy. I have all normal friends and I have a normal. And my kids are really, well, really normal.

[A]

I really feel like I was dating this really, really cool chick and now I'm starting to find some really weird things out about her. And I'm like, this isn't what I thought it was.

[D]

I am fascinated. I thought. I feel like I, you know, I'm hanging out with a girlfriend who just revealed to me this whole new side of her.

[E]

Thank you.

[A]

Yeah, we're not gonna let. Do you have to be anywhere early this morning, or can we talk more about the melanche and the curse after 7?

[C]

Yeah, we can.

[E]

I mean, I have to be at work, but I put my notice in yesterday, and he begged me just to work two days a week. So I'm going to. So I'm good.

[A]

You pretty much have hand in that office. Now, if you already know. If he knows you're taking off, he's begging you to stay.

[G]

Now he knows that you can put a match on that.

[D]

Maybe she could. Malachi's jacked up grill.

[E]

Exactly.

[A]

Maybe he's already done it.

[C]

Yeah, that's a problem.

[G]

Well, I think that's a new ABC show, Extreme. Your jacked up grill, Malachi.

[A]

Your grill. Kathy, good morning. How are you?

[H]

Good morning, guys.

[A]

All right, now, although we got a little bit off track here, Dina now is trying to start her own singing telegram business, and we're trying to help her launch that. And you said over the last couple of weeks you got a couple of calls, right?

[E]

Oh, yeah, yeah.

[A]

So people are starting to hire you as they're singing telegram.

[E]

Oh, yeah.

[C]

And the name of the business, Poetic justice.

[E]

Right.

[G]

When you find the dead body, did you sing anything to him?

[E]

No, I was really upset. I touched him.

[A]

Ooh, did you? I can't do that with anything. Dead.

[E]

I wasn't sure.

[G]

Well, I wasn't sure with a stick.

[E]

No, with my hand.

[D]

I've never seen a dead person.

[C]

Really? Never.

[D]

Never seen a dead person.

[G]

You should hang out with Dina for a while. Apparently, they're all over the place.

[E]

Apparently.

[D]

We should go shopping.

[A]

So Dina starts this new business, and we make the same offer to you guys that if you want to hire Dina, if we do it on the radio, we'll do this for free for you. So. And it could be for anything.

[E]

Right.

[A]

If you want a meloche removed, she'll do a singing telegram for that. If you want to tell somebody in your life that you love them, we'll do that for you. If you want to tell somebody in your life that's done you wrong that you hate them, we'll do that for you. Singing telegram can be for anything, right?

[E]

Exactly. Over the past couple days, I did a happy anniversary, a happy birthday, and my next one is going to be this woman that wants to tell her boyfriend that she's attracted to his brother. I tried to talk her out of it, but she said he cheated on her.

[A]

So then I was like, you don't want to talk somebody out of that. You want to talk them into it and doing it on the radio.

[E]

I know, but I have two boys and I felt really bad. I mean, that's life altering, but, you know, hey, he cheated on her.

[A]

Exactly. That's what he deserves.

[E]

That's right.

[G]

We doing that one on Friday?

[A]

I'd love to.

[E]

Oh, I mean. Okay. She keeps calling me from a private number. She's supposed to call me back today. Well, if she hears. Hey, if she's listening, she knows she doesn't have to come up with the cash.

[A]

Right? There you go. We'll do it for free if you do it on the radio.

[E]

Okay.

[A]

Now, Kathy, your circumstance with your husband isn't nearly as serious as infidelity.

[B]

Correct.

[A]

But it's still driving you crazy.

[H]

Oh, absolutely.

[A]

All right, what's going on?

[B]

Okay.

[H]

We are going on our third year of marriage and, you know, every couple has a normal fight. But lately he has been hitting the snooze alarm way too many times. When we first got married, the alarm clock was on my side of the room, so I had to constantly hit it. And then we upgraded our cell phones and we're using the alarm clock function and every time he turns it off, it goes off every five minutes from 6am to 7am he gets up at 6 and I get up at 7 and maybe sleep until 7:30. This has been going on for quite some time.

[A]

So he's waking you up every five minutes?

[H]

Exactly. And I could use that extra one hour of sleep every morning.

[G]

That's very valuable.

[F]

We understand that.

[A]

So in conversations that you've had with him where you're like, hey, we gotta do something about the snooze problem here, what does he say?

[H]

I don't think he took me seriously because I always try to be funny about it or joke around about it. And then the other night I finally sat down and said, hey, we need to do something. And so we fix his alarm clock where it goes off every 20 minutes so he can just turn it off and then it comes. Then the next alarm comes on at 20 minutes instead of turning it off every five minutes. So he's done well for Monday. And then today, of course, he's sleeping in because we're having a repair guy coming in at 10.

[A]

This is the kind of thing that is real small when you first get married, you know, but then as time moves on, that snooze, that was acceptable because you're so in with love, the beginning just becomes louder and louder and louder. The longer you get married?

[H]

Yes. It's so irritating. Sometimes I just want to kick him out of the bed.

[B]

Agreed?

[A]

Agreed. Is there anything here? I'm not asking. Before we wake him up and do our singing telegram, do you think he'll.

[D]

Be able to sort of come to and comprehend what's going on?

[H]

I don't know. He listens to a station like one notch up the dial, so he's. I don't know. I always talk about you guys and he just rolls his eyes. So we'll see.

[C]

And I know he's sleeping late for the main whatever, but, you know, just to me, it's just, you know, you've been woken up so many times. It's time for him to have to wake up and force himself up this morning.

[H]

I agree.

[A]

All right, let's do this.

[H]

Alrighty, so let me walk back here.

[A]

I mean, because he certainly at very best, is being thoughtless, of course. And sensitive.

[G]

And we hate men who are like that. Thoughtless and married.

[H]

Hang on, honey. Shane, can you do me a favor? Can you talk to some friends?

[E]

Shane.

[B]

Shane.

[H]

Hang on a second.

[C]

I heard him say no.

[B]

No, Shane, go away.

[H]

Did y' all hear that?

[A]

You're gonna have to shake him up a little bit.

[H]

Yeah, hang on.

[B]

No, go away.

[E]

Put the phone up to his ear.

[F]

Okay, I'll do that. I'm gonna do that right now.

[D]

Here we go.

[G]

Put the phone on his head.

[E]

Shane. Shane.

[B]

What?

[E]

Hey, Shane, how are ya? Listen, I have a gift for you. It's from your wife. Kathy?

[B]

Yeah.

[E]

Can you hear me?

[B]

Yes.

[E]

Okay. All right. You listening? This was with all the love and respect. Okay, you ready?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Hey, Shane, before we go on, we just need to tell you that you're on the radio right now.

[B]

All right?

[A]

All right.

[E]

All right. The clock is set for 6am oh, every day now Then you push the snooze and go back to dreaming and that's not okay now with the beeping and the buzzing louder, faster Till she's wide awake now and then you snooze, snooze, snooze til Mr. Sandman runs away now you know she loves you, honey but the crap's gonna hit the fan now if you don't get your ass up and finish. Let her finish her beauty sleep now your happiness in bed can go a real bad way for you now. Cause she will snooze, snooze, snooze Next time you try to get some play. Got it, Shane.

[A]

All right, Shane, you know where we're going with this.

[H]

Oh, Hang on.

[A]

Oh, he's done.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

All right. You see where Kathy's going with this, man? She's a little upset about the snooze, snooze, snooze thing.

[H]

That was great, y'.

[B]

All.

[A]

He's gone.

[E]

Yeah.

[A]

You don't want any part of us. Hopefully we put an explanation point on this thing for you.

[H]

Oh, I'm sure.

[F]

I'm getting ready to like to.

[H]

To leave, so I'm sure he'll call me in the next couple minutes.

[A]

Good luck with this. Okay.

[F]

All right.

[H]

Thank you so much. You'll have a great day.

[E]

You too.

[C]

All right, good.

[G]

Good job.

[A]

Well done.

[E]

Thank.

[A]

You're on the Birch show.