Full Show PT 3: Wednesday, July 1 [Vault]

Summary

The Bert Show: Full Show PT 3, Wednesday, July 1 [Vault]

Date: July 1, 2026
Podcast Cast: Bert, Kristin, Abby, Cassie, Tommy & The Bert Show Cast
Main Segments Covered:

• Keeping Breakups/Divorces Secret
• “Butt Dial” Family Dilemma: Underage Drug Use
• Running of the Brides—Joanna’s Challenge

---

Episode Overview

This episode of The Bert Show dives deep into issues of secrecy in personal relationships, with callers sharing stories of concealed breakups and divorces. The discussion shifts to a moral/parenting debate sparked by a caller who accidentally overheard her cousins (ages 17 and 14) discussing marijuana use via a “butt dial.” The group debates how to approach and address teen drug use—callers, parents, and even a therapist chime in, creating a lively and nuanced conversation. The final segment brings levity as the team sets challenges for Joanna as she prepares for the celebrated “Running of the Brides”—an annual Atlanta event known for its chaos and bargains.

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Segment One: Keeping Breakups and Divorces Secret

(Starts ~00:58)

Key Discussion Points

• Celebrity Example: Jennifer Love Hewitt delayed her breakup announcement to align with her book release, "The Day I Shot Cupid."
• Hosts’ Observation: This prompted an open call for similar stories—why do people keep breakups a secret, and for how long?
• Callers Share Unique Family Experiences:
  • From deployments to elderly relatives, callers describe keeping significant relationship changes hidden to protect others, avoid stress, or due to cultural/familial stigma.

Memorable Moments and Quotes

• Caller (Christy, 02:04):

  "I kept it a secret for two months from my mom just because she was a soldier in Afghanistan...I didn’t want to upset her."

• Caller (Kim, on her brother-in-law, 02:50):

  “They were divorced for a year, got back together, had a child, but to this day everyone refers to them as married...no one knows but a few friends.”

• Caller (Haley, 04:24):

  “My parents delayed...they didn’t tell my great grandmother about their divorce for eight months. Then they got remarried after she passed.”

• Host (on unspoken divorces):

  "If we never talk about it, we never look at it, it’s not real." (04:11)

Noteworthy Timestamps

• 01:05–08:51: Multiple callers describe secret breakups or divorces due to deployed parents, devout elders, legal/financial advantages, and more.

---

Segment Two: The “Butt Dial” Dilemma—How Should a Family Handle Teen Drug Discovery?

(Starts ~10:39, main discussion from 10:39–41:00)

The Scenario

• Caller “Emily” describes accidentally hearing her teenage cousin (17F), along with a 14-year-old sibling, discussing marijuana.
• Main Question: Should she directly confront her cousin, go to their mother, or both?

The Bert Show Team’s Debate

• Melissa, Jeff, Lady Luck, and others weigh in with different perspectives.
  • Should you talk to the teen first for honesty/trust?
  • Are you morally/legally obligated to inform the parent right away?
• Legal and Emotional Complexity:
  • Laws treat 17-year-olds differently in some states; family dynamics vary.
  • Parental responsibility contrasted with practical teen psychology ("teens will lie to adults").
• Listeners and Parent Callers Weigh In:
  • Multiple callers share personal anecdotes as parents, siblings, or recovering addicts.

Quotes & Perspectives

• Emily (Caller, 10:47):

  "I was just wondering if I should call her out on it or not."

• Jeff (Show Member, 12:07):

  “Being adult, she’s still a kid...you’re not being hard on talking to her about being in front of a 14 year old talking about marijuana right now.”

• Host (13:11):

  “How are you gonna know if they quit? See, I think...you have to go to the parents.”

• Lisa (Virtual listener, 15:46):

  “It was my responsibility...I had to go to my parents...he did not speak to me for a while.”

• Mary (Caller, 17:51):

  “Go to the drugstore, get some urine tests and tell both the 14 and 17 year old they have to do a urine test. If they refuse it, go straight to mom.”

• Taylor (Caller, younger cousin, 20:27):

  “At least give her the opportunity to show herself as an adult...if she decides not to, you take it to another level.”

• Casey (Parent Caller, 22:22):

  “This is a lot more serious than what you guys are giving it credit for...The kid is going to lie...the mom is accountable.”

• Host & Jeff Debate (25:17+):

  Host: “I couldn’t even imagine how infuriated you’d be if a cousin...didn’t tell you about it.”
  Jeff: “If my sister or their cousin came to them and said, you better straighten up before mom finds out, you know what? That’s being a teenager...I wouldn’t be mad at the family member for trying to intervene.”

Expertise and Real-Life Experience

• Amy (Parent on her way to sentencing hearing for her child, 30:51):

  “We’ve been dealing with this for three years, but it went on for two years before I ever knew...people all around me knew about it. By the time I found out, he was so far gone...”

• John (Therapist/Parent, 37:08):

  “If you’ve got a kid involved in this kind of activity even casually...mom has got to know...you need to go to the kid and say, I’m telling you right now, I’m going to mom.”

• Show Closes the Debate:

  “While Melissa and I do disagree...I think as a parent, until that kid is 18 and while you’re still paying their bills, you are entitled to know.” (Host, 25:57)

Notable Timestamps

• 10:39–13:28: Scenario explained; initial advice and opinions
• 15:25–18:41: Listener advice, urine test suggestion, legal/ethical concerns
• 20:23–25:35: More callers, perspectives from cousins, parents
• 30:51–34:48: Parent’s real-life hardship with drug progression and family silence
• 35:00–39:14: Recovering addict and therapist call in, emphasizing seriousness, legal ramifications

---

Segment Three: Running of the Brides – Joanna’s Bridal Challenge

(Starts ~42:03)

Key Discussion Points

• Joanna, recently engaged, is hoping for a coveted early entry into Filene’s Basement annual “Running of the Brides” event.
• Show Sets Up a Lighthearted Challenge:
  • The team creates a list of amusing tasks for Joanna to complete to earn early access—emphasizing fun and camaraderie.

Memorable Moments & Quotes

• On the Event:

  "Everybody lines up...tents and sleeping bags...Then at 8 o'clock, a whistle blows and you run in and you tear up the bridal section. You grab your dress...find as many dresses in your size..." (Host, 43:28)

• Joanna’s Task #1:

  “Tomorrow morning at 6:00am on our website, there must be a photograph of you...within 30 seconds of you waking up.” (Host, 47:38)

  • The whole cast recalls their own “wake up pictures”—some with spouses in the background, others with bedhead.
• Joanna (49:26):

  "I'm starting to think if that $3,000 dress is worth paying...for one picture."

• Host:

  "Seriously, within seconds of waking up....We’ve all done it." (49:19)

Notable Timestamps

• 42:07–49:46: Joanna learns about the challenge, details are set, playful banter about tasks, community spirit.

---

Episode’s Tone and Flow

• The Bert Show displays a warm, open, and authentic tone, moving naturally from real-life dilemmas to playful, interactive moments.
• Honest sharing from both hosts and callers makes heavy topics approachable, keeping a sense of support and camaraderie.

---

Highlight Reel: Notable Quotes and Insights

On protecting loved ones from hurt:

“I kept it a secret for two months from my mom just because she was a soldier in Afghanistan…”
— Christy (Caller), 02:04

On family secrecy:

“They were divorced...no one knows but a few friends and family.”
— Kim (Caller), 02:50

On confronting teen drug use:

“My only advice was to go to the 17 year old first, say, look, you just got busted, honey, and you gotta decide what you’re gonna do. I didn’t say not to go to the parent.”
— Jeff (Show Member), 26:19

On legal/real-world consequence:

“He started with pot at 16, moved to pain pills...by the time I found out, he was so far gone that there was nothing I could do.”
— Amy (Caller/Parent), 31:02

On community advice:

“You need to go to the kid and say, I’m telling you right now, I’m going to mom.”
— John (Caller/Therapist), 37:52

Comic relief on bridal prep:

“I’m starting to think if that $3,000 dress is worth paying...for one picture.”
— Joanna (Bride-to-be), 49:26

---

Timestamps for Major Segments

• 00:58–09:02: Secret Breakups & Divorces
• 10:39–41:00: Butt Dial, Teen Drug Dilemma, Parenting Debate
• 42:03–49:46: “Running of the Brides” Challenge & Joanna’s Engagement Fun

---

In Summary

This episode reflects The Bert Show’s signature style: blending humor, relatability, and empathy. The secret breakup stories range from poignant to shocking, illuminating how people try to protect their loved ones (or themselves) from pain. The teen drug discussion is comprehensive and contentious, with listeners and experts offering practical, legal, and emotional perspectives. The fun, light-hearted finale with Joanna’s bridal challenge underscores the inclusive, community vibe that makes The Bert Show a morning radio favorite.

Transcript

[Lady Luck]

Hey, everybody.

Lady luck here. And we're celebrating America's 250th birthday. Now, all summer long, I'm going to be celebrating by playing on spinquest.com which is an American owned social casino. It obviously features over a thousand slot games and live blackjack, live craps, live bubble craps. Head on over to spinquest.com get yourself a $30 coin pack for just 10 bucks.

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[Host (Bird Show)]

Refreshers contain caffeine. The Bird Show. So Wendy told us this story about Jennifer Love Hewitt and her boyfriend.

[Melissa]

Yeah, her and Jamie Kemeny broke up, apparently over the weekend, but sources are saying it's been several months. But she was holding out for this book that she has coming out called the Day I Shot Cupid. And presumably we're gonna find out why they broke up. But, yeah, she held off for several months on announcing their breakup until this past weekend when the book comes out

[Host (Bird Show)]

this week just so they could, you know, promote the book when it came out. So it occurred to us that there's gotta be other people who've held onto Melissa brought up, well, I'm not gonna announce my divorce three months before my sister gets married. Like that type of situation, right?

[Jeff]

You don't take attention away.

[Host (Bird Show)]

Maybe you're up for a big promotion at work and you don't want to tell your boss that you're going through a divorce because then he might say, well, you're not. You know, you're gonna focus on other things. So. 404741Q100. We're looking for two interesting angles. One, why'd you keep it a secret, your breakup? And two, how long were you able to keep it a secret for?

[Melissa]

Cause this one was several months. I'm assuming three.

[Host (Bird Show)]

Hey, Crys. Christy. How are you?

[Caller/Guest]

I'm doing good.

[Host (Bird Show)]

What's going on?

[Caller/Guest]

I kept it a secret for two months from my mom just because she was a soldier in Afghanistan. She's home now, but I didn't want to upset her with that, so I kept it a secret. It's just weird now because now she's home and for her, it's like a less amount of time that we've been split. So I'm already seeing someone else and it doesn't feel right to have.

[Jeff]

I see what you're saying.

[Host (Bird Show)]

She never had the breakup time.

[Caller/Guest]

Exactly.

[Jeff]

Right.

[Host (Bird Show)]

Were you married or was this a divorce or.

[Caller/Guest]

We were just engaged.

[Jeff]

Okay, that makes total sense. Yeah, if I had a parent or even if it was a sibling or somebody deployed. Yeah, you don't want to give them any more stress than they are already under, you know?

[Host (Bird Show)]

Hey, Kim, how are you?

[Lady Luck]

I'm great.

[John]

Good.

[Host (Bird Show)]

What are we talking about here? A divorce? A separation?

[Caller/Guest]

Well, it's a divorce, but it's not me. My brother in law and his wife divorced probably close to 21 years ago. And they were probably separated or divorced for probably a year or so when they got back together. And they since had a child and the child's probably close to 20 years old, but it's like 21 years later. And there they live together, but they are still not married. But everyone refers to them as married. And my in laws and her parents and no one knows that they divorced except for a few friends and a couple of family members.

[Jeff]

I just have. I just cleared a little confusion. When you say your brother in law's wife, is that not your sister?

[Caller/Guest]

No, it's my husband's brother.

[Jeff]

Your husband's brother.

[Melissa]

Okay, that was like me and Melissa stared at each other. Wouldn't that be her sister?

[Lady Luck]

No, no, no, no.

[Jeff]

Okay.

[Melissa]

Okay.

[Lady Luck]

No.

[Caller/Guest]

But they both sets of parents really didn't agree with divorce, and so they never told their parents and only a few friends knew and my husband knew

[Lady Luck]

and you know, and I knew them for years and was.

[Caller/Guest]

I mean, I was married to my husband and in the family when he finally told me. And I was so amazed that, you know, so. But I mean. And they still live together to this day, so I guess legally they're considered married. But they never officially remarried.

[Jeff]

Right.

[Host (Bird Show)]

Hey, we just pretend the divorce didn't happen. You know, if we never talk about it, we never look at it. It's not really.

[Jeff]

Well, what's funny is that they're probably more relaxed that they're not married.

[Host (Bird Show)]

Hey, Haley. Welcome to the show.

[Caller/Guest]

Oh, my gosh. Hi, Jeff.

[Host (Bird Show)]

Oh, my gosh. Hi, Hayley.

[Caller/Guest]

Oh, I'm so excited. Well, my parents delayed. Well, not delayed, but they didn't tell my great grandmother about their divorce for like eight months. And then they got remarried after she passed.

[Jeff]

Oh, really?

[Melissa]

So they never told her?

[Caller/Guest]

Nope. They never told her that they were Divorcing or anything.

[Host (Bird Show)]

You said they got remarried.

[Caller/Guest]

Yeah, they did. The next year.

[Host (Bird Show)]

Well, it's good that they didn't then, because I'm assuming they didn't tell her because why upset Somebody who's 350 years old?

[Caller/Guest]

Exactly.

[John]

Exactly.

[Caller/Guest]

She was close to that.

[Host (Bird Show)]

Right. And then she ends up passing away and they get remarried. It's almost like a way to ruin Grandma's last year.

[Caller/Guest]

Yeah, exactly.

[Host (Bird Show)]

Thank you for the call.

[Caller/Guest]

You're welcome.

[Caller]

Bye.

[Jeff]

All these people getting back together.

[Host (Bird Show)]

Hey, I know there's a lot of goodness.

[Jeff]

Somebody to stay up on.

[Host (Bird Show)]

Hey, Hannah. Welcome to the bird show.

[Caller]

Hi.

[Host (Bird Show)]

What's going on?

[Caller/Guest]

I found out during a college project where I was doing some stuff with my family tree. My grandmother blurted to me accidentally that she had divorced my pawpaw, like, years before, and he had passed away. When I found out, and nobody knew in the family except for my mother, and there's three other kids in the family. And then she accidentally told me, so I knew, but it had been like 20 years or something, and nobody knew that they had divorced and they did it to qualify for a grant to

[Jeff]

build a house, so. So it was 20 years since their divorce when she blurted it out to you, but nobody knew?

[Caller/Guest]

Nobody knew.

[Melissa]

So were they still living together?

[Caller/Guest]

Yeah, they still live together and did everything like normal. They just did it so they could, like, have separate finances to qualify for this one program to build their house.

[Jeff]

Wow. Thanks for the call.

[Caller/Guest]

No problem.

[Melissa]

Good reason, though.

[Host (Bird Show)]

Hey, Mike. Welcome to the bird show.

[Caller/Guest]

Hi, guys.

[Caller]

Love the show.

[Host (Bird Show)]

Hey.

[SpinQuest Announcer]

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[Caller]

My grandma and my grandpa divorced each other when my father was five years old and kept it from him and the entire family until he was 20.

[Melissa]

Really, the reasoning behind that, they just

[Caller]

didn't want them to know that they were divorced. They slept in the same beds, lived in the same house, didn't even date other people.

[Host (Bird Show)]

What was. I mean, why did they just.

[Jeff]

I think, older generation. I mean, I could see where. Because all these stories about grandparents. I mean, if you didn't believe in divorce and you don't want anybody to know and you don't want the community to know, then I could see where that. But that's. Talk about miserable life. I mean, no disrespect.

[Host (Bird Show)]

I think the point of question is, why bother going through the divorce if you're still gonna live together and stay in the same room and not date anyone?

[Melissa]

You're kind of still together.

[Host (Bird Show)]

Yeah. Hey, Erica. Welcome to the bird show.

[Caller/Guest]

Hey. Basically, my situation is my parents live in another state and they came down

[Lady Luck]

when I got married.

[Caller/Guest]

We have a three year old son and we got separated about two years ago. My parents still do not know.

[Host (Bird Show)]

Are you living together?

[Caller/Guest]

No.

[Host (Bird Show)]

Are you seeing other people?

[Lady Luck]

Yes.

[Host (Bird Show)]

Okay, and why haven't you told your parents?

[Caller/Guest]

Basically my parents are Catholic, so the whole divorce thing, I mean, I'm eventually going to have to tell them.

[Host (Bird Show)]

Yeah, you think?

[Caller/Guest]

But I just quite haven't gotten around it. I mean, there's been a lot of health issues with them, both of them, they're elder and over the past few years, so just haven't found the right moment. And it's not like he was really involved with them anyway. I mean, he went up, they came down for the wedding and they've only met him like they're so far away. He came home for Christmas like two or three years and I mean, they ask about him when I talk to him and I'm like, oh yeah, he's fine.

[Host (Bird Show)]

But you know, when you do, when you do tell them, will you tell them that it's been 24 months or will you just say like it just happened?

[Caller/Guest]

I probably will not tell them it's been that long. No.

[Jeff]

Well, I would suggest, I mean, are you seeing anybody else seriously now?

[Caller/Guest]

No.

[Jeff]

No, because that, you have to be careful about using that as a reason to tell them. Because if you're not gonna say it's been this long, you at least have to tell them in enough time for them to, you know, have time between him and somebody else.

[Caller/Guest]

I'm seeing someone, but it's not serious and I know that he's seeing someone just now started seeing another person and we have a three year old, so we kind of. We already have visitations set up and he has his days and I have mine, so I mean, it's gone pretty smoothly. So I'm just gonna have to kind of come out one day and be

[Host (Bird Show)]

like, well, well, you know, you know, when you make that decision, what you'll need to do is call the bird, show up and share it with us the day before you're gonna do it and then the day and then the day after. Okay.

[Caller/Guest]

All right, thanks.

[Host (Bird Show)]

All right, thanks. Thanks. Good listener. The Bird Show. Happy birthday, America. It's time to celebrate and play your favorite Las Vegas casino games by American owned spinquest.com. what's better than fireworks and American pie? Hitting a blackjack in the palm of your hand and you won't lose your fingers. Over a thousand games including slots and live dealers and 30 coin packs are on sale for 10 spinquest.com buy American

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[McDonald's Announcer]

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[Host (Bird Show)]

Refreshers contain caffeine.

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[Host (Bird Show)]

Hey, the Birch show the caller, Emily, who is joining us right now. Good morning, Emily. I'm the voice disguiser, by the way. How are you?

[Caller]

Good morning.

[Caller/Guest]

Good.

[Caller]

How are you doing?

[John]

Good.

[Host (Bird Show)]

Emily. Got a more serious butt dial.

[Melissa]

Okay.

[Host (Bird Show)]

Okay, tell us.

[Caller]

My cousin who's 17, accidentally called me about 10 o' clock one night and in the background you hear him talking about marijuana and rolling up some weed and being out of joints or something. I don't know what they were out of, but anyways, I was just wondering if I could. Should call her out on it or not.

[Melissa]

Well, who in the phone conversation does it sound like she's talking to? Is it like a friend or.

[Caller]

Well, yeah, there's a, there's another guy in the background I didn't recognize and There was my 14 year old cousin. Oh.

[Melissa]

So she's discussing.

[Jeff]

She did it in front of the 14 year old.

[Caller]

Yeah, yeah, they were all there.

[Host (Bird Show)]

Was the 14 year old participating?

[Caller]

That I'm not sure of. I'm knowing him probably.

[Melissa]

Were they actually smoking or were they just talking about it and maybe a friend's doing it?

[Caller]

That I don't know because it went after that. After a couple minutes of them talking about rolling it up, it went blank.

[Lady Luck]

I guess.

[Caller]

I don't know if they left the room because she obviously had her phone on the counter.

[Jeff]

Yeah, I would definitely talk to her, but I would take, I would take her aside one on one.

[Caller]

Right, right. Yeah. I didn't want to like call like confronted, but you know, like acting like I'm trying to be hard you know, but I mean I don't have any,

[Jeff]

there's no re, I, I, I, Yeah, being adult, she's still a kid so I mean I don't think you're being hard on talking to her about being in front of a 14 year old talking about marijuana right now.

[Host (Bird Show)]

Who approaches her though? Does she go or does she, or does she go to mom?

[Jeff]

No, she doesn't hurt her by herself.

[Caller]

I don't want to do that.

[Jeff]

No, you go to the teenager and you talk one on one. Look, I got, you know, we got to talk for a second.

[Melissa]

We're the 14 year old.

[Host (Bird Show)]

Okay, so, and how old are you?

[Caller]

27.

[Host (Bird Show)]

So you're 27. So the 27 year old cousin, right? Yeah, 27 year old cousin goes to talk to the 14 year old, doesn't bring mom into it.

[Jeff]

No, no, talk to the 17 year old who but dialed him.

[John]

Okay.

[Host (Bird Show)]

Calls to talk to the 17 year old, doesn't bring mom into it a year from now. This is a bigger problem. The 27 year old's known about it, never told mom.

[Melissa]

Well, she needs to figure out the problem first before even talking to mom because who knows what they were discussing or if they were even doing anything or if they're talking about a friend.

[Jeff]

And I got to be honest with you, I think it'll be more effective for that 17 year old if the 27 year old cousin says, look, I got to put you aside and you've got to straighten this up more so than the mom or kind of, you

[Caller]

know, say if you don't quit then it's going to become an issue with

[Host (Bird Show)]

the parents or, and how, but how are you gonna know if they quit? See, I think I'm on the other side of this. I think you, I think you as the older cousin, I think you have to go to the parents. Yeah, I think you can go to the kid first and go, look, this is what you did and this is what I just want to let you know.

[Caller]

Yeah, the problem with that is, I mean their dad's not there and their mom works at night and it's not real been much of a parent to them. So you know, I don't know how that would.

[Jeff]

See that's where I'm coming from is that I feel like if something is cause that's kind of extreme, then that's a reaction to something going on. So that's why I say she goes to 17 year old and try to, you know, because I think if I was 17 and my 27 year old cousin came to me because I had busted myself by butt dialing. And then I'm embarrassed by it. I mean, she's of course not your responsibility, but she's a family member. You take her side and then, I mean, I'm not opposed to you saying, look, and I'm gonna have to go to your mom with this if you don't, if you don't stop this right now. But my biggest concern, more so than the 17 year old is the 14 year old, you know, is just saying you cannot, I mean, how, how can she bring the 14 year old into this?

[Caller]

Right.

[Host (Bird Show)]

Do you do any.

[Melissa]

Go ahead, I said, and it could be a whole lot of legal trouble because if they're in a household that is growing it, if you said that they're growing it or they're doing it

[Caller]

in a house, I mean, I don't think that's smart.

[Melissa]

That could be. I mean, they could get busted for that in the wrong place at the

[Caller]

wrong time, or they could just get busted at the house and then get

[Caller/Guest]

her mom arrested or.

[Jeff]

Right, yeah.

[Host (Bird Show)]

See my kids, do you have, do you, do you do anything else that's parenting wise with them? Like you said, the mom works nights or whatever. Like, do they ever come to you for rides to places or anything like that?

[Caller]

No, she's got her own car. You know, she knows that she can talk to me if she needs to. It's not saying that she has before, but, you know, I hang out with her and try to be, try to be there when they need it, but they're very. The past year really kind of changed. You know, they used to be real outgoing and want to hang out. Now they like won't ever call you back or don't want to see anybody and just kind of act real strange. I don't know. I don't know what's going on with them.

[Host (Bird Show)]

Hold on. Get some advice from you from virtual listener. Lisa. Hey, Lisa.

[Jeff]

Lisa.

[Host (Bird Show)]

Hey, how are you?

[Caller/Guest]

Yes, hello.

[Host (Bird Show)]

Somebody is not happy with you being on the phone with Q100 right now. I'm sorry, I just heard a baby screaming in the background or something. How are you?

[Caller/Guest]

Oh, yes, I'm fine. That's my two year old.

[Melissa]

What's going on?

[Caller/Guest]

Yes, I just had some advice for the caller.

[John]

Sure, go ahead.

[Caller/Guest]

I went through this with my brother who is 17 years younger than I am. I'm 35 and he had a friend that was into some really bad stuff and I had to go to my parents and he did not speak to

[Lady Luck]

me for a While.

[Jeff]

Did you go to him first, though?

[Caller/Guest]

He actually was the one who told me about the problem. And no, I didn't go to him because I thought it was my responsibility as, because the way he spoke about it, he was speaking about it as sort of, it was sort of. The guy was a drug dealer and he was sort of almost bragging about how the guy was getting away with this at school and how, oh, you know, authority, you know, the authority figures in his life were all snowed and.

[John]

Right.

[Caller/Guest]

I just knew that, you know, his attitude was sort of. What's the word I'm trying to say, his attitude. He was sort of romanticizing.

[Jeff]

Yeah, well, I mean, I, I see my point about going to a 17 year old is, is one year away from what you formula white a lot of people consider an adult.

[Host (Bird Show)]

Well, legally an adult.

[Jeff]

Correct. And so that's what I'm saying is like, you know, you can't treat them like they're ten at one moment and then say, you got to be out on your own. That's why I say you go to the 17 year old and you say, I'm giving you the opportunity first to straighten this out. But if you, you know, and then check and then you got to still be involved in her life and then check back in and, and, and then say, or I'm going to your mom. Your mom has to know about this. If you don't straighten this up because you're exposing the 14 year old to it, and that's absolutely wrong. A 17 year old still is a 17 year old and they need, they need an adult, you know, to come in and talk to them. But if you just leave them on their own, I don't know, I just feel like she might listen to you more so than a mom coming home and you know, punishing her immediately.

[Host (Bird Show)]

Hey, Mary, welcome to the bird show.

[Caller/Guest]

Hi. A friend of mine actually does this. Go to the drugstore, get some urine test and tell both the 14 year old and the 17 year old that they have to do a urine test. And if they refuse it, then you'll go straight to mom and then tell them that randomly you'll come along and do another urine test and anytime they test positive, you're going to mom.

[Jeff]

Well, I mean, seriously, you know, to me, I don't think it's harsh. I think, I think if you go to the 17 year old, say you have a chance to stop this, then the urine test is the second conversation you have. Then you go to mom.

[Melissa]

That would be, that would have to Be the second conversation, not the first.

[Caller/Guest]

Because the reality is if they get busted with this by school, by police officers, by other parents, they're not going to get 1, 2, 3 chances they get 1.

[Jeff]

When also the 14 year old shouldn't be smoking pot. So you don't even know if the 14's smoking pot or not.

[Caller/Guest]

Well, legally the 17 year old urine test to find out, the 17 year

[Host (Bird Show)]

old shouldn't be either.

[Jeff]

Well, legally the 40 year old shouldn't be either.

[Host (Bird Show)]

Right, but I'm saying like you can't, I feel like you're making it. The 14 year old is the big problem here. The reality is the 17 year old is still a minor, still living at the parent's house, gets busted for it. The mom is the one. Mom can get in trouble for that. But it should be the same with alcohol and legally. I almost wonder if. Well, it is the same with alcohol. Like if you're under 21 and your parents care and you get in trouble, the adult gets in trouble.

[Jeff]

But I don't think our attitude toward it would be the same if a 17 year old got busted with beer. Then we wouldn't be like, well, go straight to the mom with this. You know, we would say no, just tell them you're going to have to just.

[Host (Bird Show)]

No, I think I would because my thing is from a legal point of view, just a basic legal point of view, the mom is still responsible for that 17 year old. And I think by this cousin knowing about it and if the cousin handles it without bringing the mom into it, I'm wondering what sort of legal liability she's putting herself under.

[Jeff]

If she doesn't possess anything, she won't have any legal liability. I just think that unless the. I think I'm trying to be realistic from a teenager standpoint that she comes in as somebody who's older but not a parent and tries to start, you know, start the conversation. But if it doesn't work, then go to the parent. I'm just, I think I'm just trying to be realistic. From teenagers.

[Host (Bird Show)]

Yeah, realistic. But then I'm just. From a purely logical point of view, you're absolutely right. If she doesn't say anything to the mom and the 17 year old gets high and burns the house down, say chance of it happening is 1%. But if it does.

[Melissa]

Right.

[Host (Bird Show)]

Then this woman might have some legal responsibility or at least that's the end of the family. Hey, Taylor, welcome to the show.

[Caller]

Hey, how are you guys doing?

[Host (Bird Show)]

Oh, good. Hold on, I'm gonna get you off the voice of Scheduler. Okay, go ahead, Taylor.

[Caller/Guest]

Okay. I feel I'm a younger cousin and I'm an older cousin and I have to say I feel that the cousin should just speak with the teenager, the 17 year old only because even if she goes to the mother who's the say is gonna be able to do anything, the mother works nights, so she's not gonna be able to monitor her child as if she were to work days, you know what I'm saying? So, I mean, the cousin could still take her younger cousin of confidence and be like, look, this isn't right. You're a bad influence on your younger brother. Da, da, da, da, da. But as a younger cousin, I feel I would respect my older cousin for coming to me like an adult and being like, look, we need to cut to the chase. This is what it's going to be, you know what I'm saying? At least give her the opportunity to show herself as an adult, show herself as a role model. And then if she decides like, oh, well, then that's when you take it to another level, but still give that person the opportunity to be the adult that she's about to become. You can't always run to mom. What's going to happen when she does turn 18? I mean, her mom could sit here and say what? Oh, okay, stop smoking. But who's to say she's going to stop? And yeah, the mom doesn't. I mean, I had a juvenile record. My mom was, I mean my mom wasn't liable for if I screwed up. I went to juvenile hall, not my mom. You know what I'm saying? So if she gets caught with pot, she's going to be the one to go to jail, not her mom. Right.

[Melissa]

And it seems like your cousin needs the guidance too. Especially if mom's not around during the day. She could probably use somebody to talk to and probably, I mean, she's getting into recreational activities because there is nobody there. So maybe if you step in and just have that time to talk to her, even during the week, like once a week. I mean, this might not go on either.

[Caller]

Yeah, I figured she'd been more honest with me than if I went to her mom.

[Melissa]

Absolutely.

[Jeff]

You know, I think it's end up going to be both. But I, you know, my suggestion is to talk to her first and let her know what happened. And then she got busted.

[Host (Bird Show)]

Hey, Casey. You'll be the last phone call we take. Go ahead, Casey.

[Caller/Guest]

Yeah, I just want to say I have, I'm, I'm a parent of a 17 year old and I was a single mom for many, many, many years. And he does mop. She doesn't, she doesn't need to. She needs to. She needs to give the parent the benefit of the doubt. This is a lot more serious than what you guys are giving it credit for. You're saying that the caller said that the nephew was withdrawn and not acting the same. Those are symptoms of smoking pot. Who's to say when you go and talk to her, if you don't hang out with her on a regular basis, she is not going to be honest with you guys. She is going to lie and she is going to keep doing it.

[Jeff]

But what about the symptom of the fact that she has no parents around? By going to the parents, that doesn't change her home situation. But by being.

[Caller]

Well, you're talking about parents.

[Caller/Guest]

Yeah, she's not around, but that doesn't mean she doesn't care and she's not doing the best she can. You need to give her the heads up that, hey, if maybe she doesn't have a clue, maybe she didn't smoke pot and she doesn't know to look for things if she's there even during the day. Or she can look out if the kids are skipping school or if they're, you know, not getting good grades. You need to, you need to talk to both of them. I don't think you should just talk to the kid. The kid is going to lie, especially if they want to do drugs.

[Jeff]

I don't think she's going to lie to the cousin. I think she'll lie to the mama.

[Melissa]

Yeah, she can't lie. Well, it's on voicemail. She's got it on record. I mean, she's got the entire conversation.

[Caller/Guest]

Oh, yeah, we tried it and we didn't like it. No, I won't do it anymore. She couldn't make up all kinds of

[Jeff]

experience

[Caller/Guest]

I ever expected to even try something like that because we've had a lot of experience with it in my family. And he, and he's, he's the biggest advocate for it.

[Melissa]

Like Melissa's trying to say. Who's to say she's not going to lie to her mom?

[Jeff]

She would lie to her mom too.

[Caller/Guest]

Right. But her mom is the one who is, who is accountable for that child. She deserves the chance. I agree with Jeff. She deserves the chance. Whatever. It's her responsibility to let that parent know and then she can still stay on top of the knees or still do the best she can to be in her life. And Try to help her. But the parent deserves the right to know as well. She needs to be given the heads up. And if she wants to look for the sign, she can. She's there with them every day. She's the one the school's gonna call. She's the one that's gonna be there when the kids are failing and she doesn't know why. I think definitely the mom needs to know.

[Jeff]

And I appreciate that. I do appreciate that from a parent's perspective, you want the parent to know. But I just think let's not all forget what it was like to be a teenager.

[Host (Bird Show)]

Right? But I think, Melissa, you would be the first one if you had a 17 year old who was doing anything shady, whether it was drugs, whether it was sneaking out and using your car, whether it was whatever, doing something while you came in here and did the morning radio show. Because you'll definitely be doing this in 20 years when you might have a 17 year old.

[Jeff]

Crap. Yeah. I mean, yes, of course.

[Host (Bird Show)]

So doing that, you. I couldn't even imagine how infuriated you would be if a cousin or someone else in your life took it upon themselves to handle an issue with your child, a 17 year old, and didn't tell you about it.

[Jeff]

You're wrong. You're wrong. A 17 year old that's about to graduate high school. If my sister or their cousin came to them and said, you better straighten up before mom finds out, you know what? That's being a teenager. And I would be mad at the child, but I wouldn't be mad at the family member for trying to intervene in our family.

[Host (Bird Show)]

Right? And if it doesn't help, if it

[Jeff]

doesn't help, they come to me. That's what I told her to do. I did not tell her not to go to the mom. I told her to go to the mom if the child didn't straighten up. But if you. I mean, if it's 17 year old screwing up, she's not gonna straighten up in one year. Yeah, she's not.

[Host (Bird Show)]

We have to agree to disagree because I think, number one, I think that

[Jeff]

running straight to the parent is not gonna cure her of pot.

[Host (Bird Show)]

I don't disagree with that. But I think as a parent, until that kid is 18 and while you're still paying their bills, you are entitled to know.

[Melissa]

So she may be entitled.

[Host (Bird Show)]

Glad to help. You are. You are entitled.

[Melissa]

Maybe not this parent.

[Host (Bird Show)]

It doesn't. It's not an option. It's not a maybe this parent. Maybe not this parent.

[Jeff]

Carl, my only advice was to go is to go to the 17 year old first say look, you just got busted honey and you gotta decide what you're gonna do. And that's all I said, I didn't say not to go to the parent.

[Host (Bird Show)]

Eventually I love it when Carl walks in here. Emily, glad to give you some advice. That's 50. 50. As we always do on the show. Carl, please agree with me.

[Carl]

I go through this all the time. I got a bunch of nephews and we're going through the same thing. Actually right now my advice to you would be is I go to my sister, I tell my sister what's going on but I tell her how do you think that she wants me to handle it? So I'll go to my sister, tell her that, you know, your son is doing whatever, what do you think the best way I should handle the situation. And so I'll, you know when I'll bump ideas off of her and, and if it doesn't sound like something that I think will be beneficial like, because like you said, Melissa, going to the parents, he's not going to stop doing it. Matter of fact he's like whatever. So I would go to, I normally go to my sister and ask her how she would think to handle it.

[Host (Bird Show)]

Carl, scale of 1 to 10, how mad would you be if somebody in your family handled something serious with your kids and never told you about it?

[Carl]

Oh, I'm pissed man. I definitely need to know. Let me know and let me be the one to find something.

[Jeff]

But the parent also needs to take the responsibility for the fact that they're teenagers, alone and doing pot because they're not there.

[John]

Right?

[Jeff]

So as long as the parent understands one of the reasons your child is the way they are is because of you, then everything's fine.

[Host (Bird Show)]

Doesn't matter if we're all here or half of us are gone, we still get you advice. That's right down the middle. 5050 the first show.

[Lady Luck]

Hey everybody, lady luck here. And we're celebrating America's 250th birthday. Now all summer long I'm going to be celebrating by playing on Fin Quest which is an American owned social casino. It obviously features over a thousand slot games and live blackjack, live craps, live bubble craps. Head on over to spinquest.com get yourself a $30 coin pack for just 10 bucks.

[SpinQuest Announcer]

Spin Quest is a free to play social casino boy. Where prohibited. Visit spinquest.com for more details.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Hey, it's Ryan Reynolds here from Mint Mobile. Now I was looking for fun ways to tell you that Mint's offer of unlimited Premium Wireless for $15 a month is back. So I thought it would be fun if we made $15 bills, but it turns out that's very illegal. So there goes my big idea for the commercial. Give it a [e-mail] Switch upfront payment

[Sherwin Williams Announcer]

of $45 for three months, $90 for six months or $180 for a 12 month plan. Required $15 per month equivalent taxes and fees Extra initial plan term only greater than 50 gigabytes. Me slow when network is busy.

[McDonald's Announcer]

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[Host (Bird Show)]

Refreshers contain caffeine. Get it the Bird show we just got into a topic based on a butt dial. Butt dials are often funny. Sometimes they're serious. This one was serious. A girl got butt dialed by her cousin and her cousin was clearly playing with the Mary Jane, at least talking about it.

[Jeff]

I mean she wasn't clear if she was actually smoking at the time. But the cousin's 27. She got butt dolled by her 17 year old cousin who was in a discussion with another guy or another guy. She's a girl, 17 year old girl in a discussion with the guy about marijuana. And then you know, that's serious enough. But the other serious part of that is the 14 year old sibling was in the conversation. So she was, she came to us and asked us what she should do and I think it was a really good debate. But Jeff's position was go straight to mom and let her know what's going on. And my position was go to the 17 year old first, give her the opportunity to straighten up and then if she doesn't, then go to the mom.

[Melissa]

I completely agree with Melissa's viewpoint on that.

[Host (Bird Show)]

Now we're not as far apart as I thought we were because I think I'm not opposed to going to the 17 year old first and having a conversation with him. But because the child is 17 years old and because the child is legally a minor, regardless of how involved the parent may or may not get, I think you still have an obligation to tell the parent and you have to do it pretty quickly after you talk to the 17 year old. Like, hey, I just want to let you know last week I Heard this yesterday, I did this. And here's where it stands today.

[Jeff]

My big concern is the 14 year old, though. That's where I'd be a little more stern about how I'm gonna, you know, how I'm gonna handle it with the 14 year old.

[Host (Bird Show)]

Amy wants to weigh in on this and she might be a little fired up cause she's on her way to court right now because of her son.

[John]

All right.

[Host (Bird Show)]

Hey, Amy. Hi, how are you?

[Lady Luck]

I'm okay.

[Jeff]

Okay, what's going on?

[Host (Bird Show)]

Kind of struck a nerve this morning, huh?

[Caller/Guest]

Yeah, what's going on?

[Lady Luck]

I'm on the way right now to a sentencing hearing for my 20 year old who started smoking pot at the age of 16 and moved to pain pills. And, and Jeff, I just heard him say that the child is still a minor at 17. Well, in the eyes of the law, he's not a minor. He is now an adult and will be charged as such if caught with any sort of drugs.

[Jeff]

What age is that? What age does that change? Is it 17 or 16?

[Lady Luck]

It's 17.

[Jeff]

17. Okay.

[Lady Luck]

We've been dealing with this for three years, but it went on for two years before I ever knew about it. However, people all around me knew about

[Melissa]

it, like family members.

[Lady Luck]

Family members, very good friends, neighbors. And before I, by the time I found out about it, he was so far gone that there was nothing that I could do. He had moved from pain pills to heroin.

[Jeff]

I mean, see that? I, I think that's a little. I mean, I know it's a little.

[Lady Luck]

I know, I know a lot. But now that I've dealt with this, I have seen it happen a lot. And you know, I know there's a big controversy about pot being a gateway drug and so forth, but most people start with pot, they don't go straight from nothing to, you know, pain pills or. And this was a child that was. There were no signs. I was a stay at home mom. He never missed the school straight A student scholarship coming at him like crazy for sports. So there were no signs.

[Jeff]

Well, I know what I was going to say is it's different, but it's not. I mean, I think your call is very important because I do think that it is, because I totally disagree with everybody knowing and not saying anything. You know, my point was to have one conversation with that 17 year old and that's all it took. And if that one conversation didn't work, then the parent gets involved. And the fact that neighbors and everybody knew that he was doing pills and he was doing, you know, all these other things. That's just ridiculous. And, and I think that, yes, there's a controversy about pot being a gateway drug. I think I disagree with you. Most people start with pot. I think most people start with alcohol.

[Lady Luck]

Right.

[Sherwin Williams Announcer]

You know what I mean?

[Melissa]

So.

[Jeff]

And no, you know, in my position earlier was that I think that a lot of people would have been had a different opinion of this call if the butt doll was about her getting drunk.

[Lady Luck]

Oh, yeah, most certainly. Most certainly. But see, I don't know, because that was never an issue still, that he still doesn't drink. So that's never been an issue.

[Jeff]

Right.

[Lady Luck]

Because these kids, they do what they can get away with and I've learned a lot. And believe me, probably 60 to 70% of our children in high school are doing some sort of pain pill or Xanax or anything like that because they can get away with it. They can go to school like that, they can function like that. You don't smell it.

[Jeff]

Right. One last question. What would your advice be to that cousin that called us? What would you tell her to do?

[Lady Luck]

I would tell her to go to the 17 year old, tell him that she knows and say, I'm sorry, I love you. I'm not trying to get you in trouble, but I think your mom needs to know, is this a problem for you? And then go to the mother and say, you know, I want you to know this just so you're aware, if nothing else, just so she's aware to look out for it. Something so terrible that she can't stop it.

[Melissa]

I think that's a good way to phrase it.

[Jeff]

Right. Well, I appreciate the call and I appreciate the inside. I'm just sorry on how you got it, you know.

[Host (Bird Show)]

Hey, Jeff, welcome to the show.

[John]

Hey, man.

[Host (Bird Show)]

Hey, man.

[John]

Listen, I'm just, I'm a recovering addict myself and I'd like to comment on the caller that got the problem with a 17 year old. Everything started out with me probably the same way. And I just believe that if somebody had, it intervened, whether it had a being, you know, my mom or a cousin or something coming to me, you know, at an early age, that it would have, you know, I mean, I'm in recovery now, but I'm doing good now.

[Host (Bird Show)]

But what's the magic sentence? Like if it's your cousin and you and your cousin found out the same way by overhearing a conversation, what sentence could she or he say to you at age 17? Because one thing I do agree with Melissa about is 17 year olds know it all. So they're not, they're not going to say, oh, you want me to stop?

[John]

And I agree with both sides. You know, I agree with her side and your side, but I think, you know, if I was the cousin, I probably would go to go to him or her and say, you know, you need to stop what you're doing. But, you know, I don't care if you get mad at me or whatever, I'm going to your mom with this, you know, because, I mean, I know that, you know, people look at. Alcohol is not that big of a problem. Weeds, not that big of a problem. But, you know, it can turn into a lot greater problem than what people think it can. And it happens very quickly. So, you know, and I mean, I had good, you know, parents growing up. And I mean, you know, and I was always a good, you know, in mind it really start, you know, until I was 16, 17 years old. And then it just took off from there. So, you know, I just believe that, you know, somebody, you know, should intervene. And I think it should be taken as more serious than, you know, than just, you know, them going to them and saying, look, you need to stop this, whatever. Because I mean, chances are if they're at home alone or whatever, they're gonna, you know, they may listen to it, but they, when they get back around their friends or whatever, they're gonna start doing it again.

[Host (Bird Show)]

Thanks for the call.

[Caller]

Yeah.

[Jeff]

And congratulations on your recovery.

[Host (Bird Show)]

Hey, John, you can be our second last call on the show. How are you?

[Caller]

Very good, thanks. I just wanted to weigh in. Not only am I a parent of a 17 year old and two 14 year olds, I'm also a therapist. I work with addicted individuals. And you know, with all respect to Melissa, you're not a parent. And this is a huge issue. This is not a small, insignificant thing. You know, if you've got a kid that's involved in this kind of activity, even casually and is, and is sitting around with a friend discussing, you know, the need for more or we need, we're running out, we need to buy more, that kind, that's not a casual thing. That's, that's a huge issue. And, and by all means, mom has got to know. Now, I'm not saying you can't go to the kid first, but you need to go to the kid and say, look, I'm telling you right now, I'm going to mom.

[Jeff]

Well, and with all due respect, Jeff's not a parent either.

[Melissa]

You know,

[Caller]

of, number one, a parent, but also a therapist. You know, it's in the other thing, you know, and I know that this is kind of in touch. This is an illegal act. Like the parent, the mom said a few minutes ago, trust me, I've got a son who's involved in the legal system right now with charges pending. And somebody said, well, I know, well, the parent won't be held liable just because the kid has putt. Not true, not true. If they've got it in the house, the parent is liable.

[Melissa]

But what if it's with this parent that doesn't sound like they're very involved in the child's life. What if it's a parent that just doesn't care? I mean, cousin's gotta do something.

[Caller]

There's always that possibility, always. Whether a parent is a stay at home mom like the other lady, or no matter what the work schedule of the parent, there's always a possibility they're not going to be involved in the kid's life or they're going to take it very casually. But still you've got to approach it as seriously as you can possibly approach it because it is an illegal act. And trust me, if that 17 year old gets arrested at school for pot and gets. They're not going to juvenile court, they're going to superior court. And when they go to superior court, that's going to be on their record for every day, the rest of their life. Every time they try to fill out a job application, it's going to say, have you ever been convicted, you know, of a drug charge? And they're gonna have to check.

[John]

Yes.

[Caller]

And they're very likely not going to get a job because of that. It's a huge, huge issue.

[Host (Bird Show)]

Thanks for the call, John.

[Caller]

Thanks. Bye.

[John]

Bye.

[Jeff]

Thank you.

[Host (Bird Show)]

Therapist. You're not a parent.

[Jeff]

I'm not a parent, so I have no valid opinion. But you're not a parent either, Jeff. But he agreed with me.

[Host (Bird Show)]

Yeah, but I agreed with me. He agreed with me.

[SpinQuest Announcer]

I do.

[Host (Bird Show)]

While Melissa and I do disagree, I am. But I think it does frustrate me at the. When people say, well, you can't give advice because like my advice is not coming from a parenting point of view. Mine's just a very practical point of view.

[Melissa]

From the teenagers point of view.

[Host (Bird Show)]

You're a guardian and the guardian of that kid needs to know if that kid's doing something legal. I don't have to be a parent to say that.

[Jeff]

And I totally respect what Jeff was saying. I mean if that's what ends up happening, I'm not opposed to that. But I. Yeah, that Is will spawn another conversation because I've talked about how Katie and I are considering children and freezing my eggs and all that stuff. The thing that keeps me from wanting to be a parent is other parents.

[Host (Bird Show)]

And can't you go ahead and say that you are a parent? Because if your eggs are frozen, can

[Jeff]

you just say they're not frozen yet, but they will be here in a few weeks.

[Host (Bird Show)]

You have a little popsicle kids.

[Jeff]

Yeah. So I'm in the process. We've got to talk about that too. I'm in the process of getting that done, which is very fascinating.

[Joanna]

Cool.

[Jeff]

But yeah, no, I parent. Other parents scare me. It's not the kids. It's the, it's, it's having to involve my life now with other parents. And I just really. Yeah, it's just there's, you know, I'll just go ahead and say there's two different types of parents. There's the parents that there's good ones and bad ones. Well, there's the condescending kind and then there's those that are just human beings and they're the same human beings after they have a child that they were before they had the child. And you know, I just, and I understand the severity of it. I understand the responsibility of it and I'm old enough to understand that. But I never want the words to ever come out of my mouth. You don't understand because you're not a parent. Because I think is the most condescending, offensive phrase that, that somebody can say to you.

[SpinQuest Announcer]

You're on the Birch Show.

[Lady Luck]

Hey everybody, lady luck here. And we're celebrating America's 250th birthday. Now all summer long, I'm going to be celebrating by playing on spinquest.com which is an American owned social, social casino. It obviously features over a thousand slot games and live blackjack, live craps, live bubble craps. Head on over to spinquest.com get yourself a 30 coin pack for just 10 bucks.

[SpinQuest Announcer]

Spin Quest is a free to play social casino, voidware prohibited. Visit spinquest.com for more details.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Hey, it's Ryan Reynolds here from Mint Mobile. Now I was looking for fun ways to tell you that Mint's offer of unlimited Premium Wireless for $50 a month is back. So I thought it would be fun if we made $15 bills, but it turns out that's very illegal. So there goes my big idea for the commercial. Give it a [e-mail] switch upfront payment

[Sherwin Williams Announcer]

of $45 for three months, $90 for six months or $180 for 12 month plan required $15 per month equivalent taxes and fees. Extra initial plan term only greater than 50 gigabytes. Me slow when network is busy. See Terms.

[Host (Bird Show)]

Listen, it's the Vert show. The lovely Joanna.

[Joanna]

Yeah, I'm nervous.

[Host (Bird Show)]

No, be nervous.

[Jeff]

Is this what we're talking about?

[Host (Bird Show)]

This is a big week for Joanne.

[Jeff]

Neither do we.

[Melissa]

Why is it, why is it a big week?

[Jeff]

Oh, I do know what this is about. Oh yeah? Yeah, yeah.

[Host (Bird Show)]

Wendy, you know too.

[Jeff]

Yeah, yeah, I do know.

[Host (Bird Show)]

Yeah. If you read my emails.

[Joanna]

So why am I not copied on this email?

[Melissa]

Oh, that's right.

[Host (Bird Show)]

Yeah. Cause it's about you.

[Melissa]

Oh, okay.

[Host (Bird Show)]

So this Friday. What is important, Joanna, about this Friday morning?

[Joanna]

Well, this Friday is Running of the Brides.

[Melissa]

And you're newly engaged.

[Joanna]

I am?

[Host (Bird Show)]

Yep. So Joanna is a freshly engaged woman. Her and Jason are going to be happily married in four years.

[Joanna]

And it's not four years, three and a half.

[Jeff]

I think an important question is, are you the kind of woman that buys your wedding dress before you ever get engaged? Or you, you don't have your wedding dress yet, right?

[Joanna]

No, I do not have my wedding dress yet.

[Jeff]

Okay. Because there's some women I think that do that. Without a doubt asking if Joanna did that.

[Joanna]

I have tried on a dress once before. At last, Running of the Brides. Just because I've never tried on a

[Melissa]

wedding dress before, but.

[Joanna]

No. Never purchased one.

[Jeff]

Okay.

[Host (Bird Show)]

So Running of the Brides is at Filene's Basement. It's something that we do every single year. It's taking place this Friday. Anybody can come down to it. And basically it works like this. Everybody lines up. People are gonna start lining up on

[Melissa]

Thursday, the day before in their tents and sleeping bags.

[Lady Luck]

Tents.

[Host (Bird Show)]

They make a tailgate party out of it. Then at 8 o' clock, a whistle blows and you run in and you tear up the bridal section. You grab your dress and you find as many dresses as you can in your size. And then you try them on and you trade them and you look. And I know wedding dresses, they're beaded a thousand.

[Jeff]

Well, and the way Filene's Basement does. And the reason people camp out. If you're not familiar with Filene's Basement or the Running of the Brides, the reason people camp out the night before is because the dresses, the gowns are only there for one day. So they ship them in on Thursday night, they put them on the racks overnight. Thursday night. Then when we're on air and we announce the opening of the doors, then you run in, you get your bridal gowns. They are not set up in any kind of order because they make it, because they simply don't have time to

[SpinQuest Announcer]

put them in order.

[Jeff]

So they have all different sizes, they have all different styles. And, like, you know, Jeff said there's some beading, there's some not. There's all different types of styles and designers. But they are designer dresses that normally go for thousands of dollars that you can get for hundreds.

[Melissa]

Absolutely.

[Joanna]

And I've been looking at wedding gowns, and I know how expensive they can be. I mean, you put on a dress and you look at that tag, and you try not to start sweating profusely because you're like, there's no way I can afford this $3,000 gown.

[Caller]

Right.

[Joanna]

So this is awesome that they do have them on sale at $300, $400. And it's. It's an amazing, amazing deal.

[Host (Bird Show)]

The prices, all the dresses are either marked 250, 500, or $700.

[Melissa]

Nice.

[Host (Bird Show)]

And the original prices are 900 to 10,000.

[Caller]

Right.

[Jeff]

And these are not, you know, like, discounted made, you know, gowns. They are the designer gowns that are going for hundreds of dollars.

[Host (Bird Show)]

So here's the deal. Now you can. There's an initial rush. Everybody gets something, and then all throughout the day, its dresses get returned to the rack. You can come in all day and buy them. But Joanna, you would think that right after she got engaged, she was so excited for this to happen. The first phone call would be to her family or to her mom or her brothers or something like that. It wasn't. It was to me, it was Jeff. How do I get into this Filene's thing early?

[Jeff]

Well, she's smart.

[Melissa]

Of course she's smart.

[Jeff]

She's trying to, but it affects your budget.

[Host (Bird Show)]

In the background, I could hear Jason going, did you say yes?

[Caller/Guest]

Who are you calling?

[Host (Bird Show)]

What are you doing? Like, it's important for a bride, and Joanna is a hardworking member of our team. So it's only fair that Joanna gets that opportunity to enter in Filene's basement early.

[Sherwin Williams Announcer]

Right.

[Jeff]

Wow. I'm excited.

[Melissa]

That's like a huge plus because you've got to go through the racks and look exactly what type of dress you want. Like, if you want an A line dress, a fabric full dress. Right.

[Jeff]

But. But it's Jeff that is saying this to you, so, you know, it's not that easy.

[Host (Bird Show)]

So here's.

[Joanna]

We all should stop being excited.

[Jeff]

Don't be excited yet. It's an opportunity to go in first,

[Host (Bird Show)]

we always, we always do.

[Jeff]

Jeff always likes to make up games.

[Host (Bird Show)]

Yeah, I'm still a 10 year old at heart, so. Well, my thought was, you know, we always do contests and promotions and for front of the line and take the person who's in the front of the line and if they can do something, get them in an hour early and all this stuff. So we can't just give this away and just go here, Joanna.

[McDonald's Announcer]

It's.

[Jeff]

Listeners would be mad.

[Host (Bird Show)]

So I came up with an idea this weekend and I emailed everybody on the show and they all had their ideas and they sent them all back and we placed them all in a hat. And we just think that from now until the running of the brides, you should just accomplish some tasks. We're certainly not going to ask you to do anything that we wouldn't do. But we're not the ones who want to get into Filene's early.

[Melissa]

Right.

[Host (Bird Show)]

So we've put all these tasks in a hat and we'll draw one out each at the, you know, every show. And then the next day you have to perform that task. If you perform it successfully, then you move on to the next task. And if you perform all four, then 6am you're at Filene's basement, bagel in one hand, looking at dresses with your mom or your bridesmaid or whoever comes along.

[Jeff]

She's not going near a dress with a bagel.

[Host (Bird Show)]

Oh, sorry.

[Jeff]

Jeff would.

[Melissa]

But cereal bar.

[Joanna]

I'm thinking because there's more women on the show than men, that you ladies were nice enough to put some easy task in here.

[Caller]

Right.

[Melissa]

Well, I haven't seen the task, so I'm ready to.

[Joanna]

Oh, great.

[Melissa]

I'm concerned on what they are. If Jeff made them up.

[Host (Bird Show)]

Drawing the first one. The first task, Joanna. And this is what you have to do tomorrow. This is something that we've all done. Okay? We're not asking you to do something that you.

[Jeff]

We would never ask you to do something we haven't done.

[Caller/Guest]

Okay.

[Host (Bird Show)]

Tomorrow morning at 6:00am on our website, there must be a photograph of you. This photograph of you must be taken within 30 seconds of you waking up tomorrow morning.

[Joanna]

Oh, no.

[Melissa]

And we've all.

[Host (Bird Show)]

You remember the bird show wake up pictures.

[Melissa]

Oh, how great they are.

[Jeff]

And somehow they're still in the Google sphere, which is so fantastic. But. But yeah. And you can't do anything differently tonight. You can't like go in full makeup and just lay in your back and you know, it has to be authentic. You go to bed however you go to Bed and you wake up and you can't even. Like you said 30 seconds. The camera on the night said you can't do anything. Comb your fingers through your. Nothing.

[Melissa]

No turning on the lights.

[Joanna]

Not.

[Jeff]

You can't turn on the light.

[Sherwin Williams Announcer]

You just.

[Host (Bird Show)]

I think Jen's. I remember mine. I seriously took my camera and my alarm goes off. I never snooze or anything. Cause Jessica's a light sleeper. So my alarm goes off and within 60 seconds I'm upstairs in my bathroom and I put the camera right in front of. First thing I do is brush my teeth. It was like leaning up against the little cup that holds my toothbrush so I couldn't miss it. Took the picture.

[Jeff]

Little giraffe cup.

[Host (Bird Show)]

I remember Jen left hers on her nightstand because when she did it is when she was married at the time. And you could see her ex husband's legs sticking out from under the bed cheat like it was.

[Jeff]

And I snuck out from. From the bed with Katie so I wouldn't wake her up and. But I had no lights on and I felt my way into the bathroom where the on the counter was the camera and took it before I turned the light on.

[Melissa]

My camera was just in the bed with me because I was just too lazy to get up and do it.

[Host (Bird Show)]

Yeah.

[Melissa]

So my arms just.

[Host (Bird Show)]

However, Wendy doesn't have anyone so she could take it right in bed.

[Melissa]

Well, thanks for rubbing that one in. I won't be looking for a wedding dress on Friday or ever.

[Host (Bird Show)]

So seriously, within seconds of waking up.

[Jeff]

Oh no, we've all done it.

[Joanna]

I'm starting to think if that $3,000 dress is worth paying.3,000, you could get

[Jeff]

a $10,000 dress just for one picture.

[Melissa]

You're gonna do it.

[Joanna]

I'm already engaged, so I'm not trying to impress anybody.

[Jeff]

And he's seen, he's seen it.

[Caller]

So.

[Joanna]

So he sees me what I look

[Melissa]

like in the morning.

[Joanna]

Yeah.

[Host (Bird Show)]

So he doesn't care.

[Jeff]

Yeah, he does not care.

[Melissa]

All right, I got it.

[Host (Bird Show)]

Is that good?

[Joanna]

Yes.

[Caller]

You gonna do it?

[Host (Bird Show)]

Yes. Listen, it's the vert show.

[Lady Luck]

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