Full Show PT 3: Wednesday, June 10 [Vault]

Summary

The Bert Show – Full Show PT 3: Wednesday, June 10 [Vault] Date: June 10, 2026

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Episode Overview

This episode of The Bert Show brings together the cast for a candid, lively morning conversation about life mishaps, health struggles, and modern dating. The team delves into deeply personal stories—including sports injuries, living with a chronic illness, and the emotional weight of organ transplants—before veering into lighter fare with amusing listener confessions in the recurring “Am I Normal?” segment. The show closes with a thoughtful group discussion about dating as a single parent and the intricacies of mixing relationships and children.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Health Challenges & Vulnerability among Hosts

[00:30 – 04:41]

• Melissa recounts a recent soccer injury that might be a torn ACL, expressing frustration over aging and the impact on her active lifestyle.
  • “I’m in my 40s now and I still want to be active. ...I’m coming to the realization I can’t keep up. Man. Sucks.” – Melissa [02:20]
• Jeff shares his challenges as a kidney transplant recipient—explaining immune suppression, frequent illness, and the way it colors his perspective on life and mortality.
  • “A kidney transplant is not a cure. It is a treatment for kidney disease.” – Jeff [04:42]
  • He describes the emotional side of illness: “What if I don’t get better?...Am I cool? Have I done everything I want to do?” – Jeff [05:31]
  • Major regret: Not having children, and a deepening desire for legacy.
    • “It’s the legacy part, I think, more so than anything.” – Jeff [07:40]

2. Generational Legacy & Family

[04:41 – 11:23]

• Jeff reflects on the idea that even public figures are forgotten, but familial legacy endures.
  • “Even the most passionate fans of the Bert Show...in a hundred [years], nobody is going to be talking about us except for the people in our families.” – Jeff [08:21]
• The cast shares stories illustrating how objects and traditions gain significance through family ties.

3. Farmville Woes: Social Media Distractions

[11:23 – 13:39]

• Jeff lightheartedly vents about losing his “Farmville” crops while sick, describing the stress of virtual farming and how social games create artificial urgency.
  • “I’m not really playing because I’m a broke farmer with a dustbin. That is my farm.” – Jeff [13:01]

4. “Am I Normal?” Listener Confessions Segment

[16:13 – 29:09]

• Listeners and cast tackle quirky habits:
  • Tanya energizes before work presentations by jogging in bathroom stalls to hardcore rap music. [16:32]
    • “I think that’s actually awesome.” – John [17:30]
  • Jeff imagines winning an Oscar every time he climbs stairs.
    • “Every time I climb stairs that I think that I’m walking up to receive my award at the Oscars.” – Jeff [18:23]
  • Bobby’s fiancée role-plays “Sleeping Beauty” before bed. [19:20]
  • John folds his wet jeans before putting them in the dryer, hoping for fewer wrinkles. [21:03]
  • A listener sprints circles around her kitchen before the microwave beeps, aiming for a personal best. [22:24]
  • Others share their compulsions—e.g., smelling all food before eating, being disturbed by purse orientation, or needing mirrors turned away at night.
  • Katie cannot sleep facing away from the door, and Jeff admits he can’t sleep with a limb off the bed (lingering childhood “monster under the bed” belief). [25:24]
  • Daniel pretends to drive a Disney World tram when navigating maze-like neighborhoods. [26:08]
  • A listener explains her elaborate ritual with peanut M&Ms: color-sorting, melting the chocolate, extracting intact peanuts, and eating them last. [27:09]
    • “Not only is that not normal, it’s freaking disgusting.” – Daniel [27:38]

5. Ongoing Listener Dilemma: Photo Frame Fallout

[31:16 – 42:29]

• Updates from Daniel, whose wife is upset he put a female coworker’s photo in a multi-photo frame on his desk.
  • Despite previous show advice, Daniel involved the coworker to explain to his wife – worsening the situation.
  • “His wife should be number one...The co worker should be completely off your desk and completely off your email completely.” – Jeff [36:52]
• The crew explores emotional trust in marriage; that logic can’t solve emotional wounds.
  • “You have to look at it from an emotional woman point of view.” – Daniel [36:52]
  • “There’s got to be something there that’s making her feel this way, and you’re not tapping into it in any way, shape, or form.” – Melissa [41:39]

6. Dating with Kids: Challenges & Honest Advice

[44:36 – End]

• Katie voices anxiety about dating men with children for the first time, unsure about her readiness and the right protocol.
  • “I don’t have time for kids right now. I mean, I don’t really want kids ever.” – Katie [46:14]
• The panel discusses whether single parents should even date those unsure about kids.
  • “If you don’t want to have children, then why would you even consider dating a guy that has kids?” – Melissa [46:37]
• Call-in guests—both single moms and dads—strongly advise against “dabbling” in dating someone with kids unless you are serious.
  • “Don’t waste my time. I’m not your guinea pig...You don’t want kids. I’m not here to change your mind...Leave me alone.” – Lisa, caller [52:30]
• Closing insight: It’s not just about compatibility with the parent; it’s about respecting the emotional gravity and responsibilities children bring to any future relationship.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On chronic illness and legacy:
  “A kidney transplant is not a cure. ...I just feel like, without modern medicine, I would have died before I was 30.” – Jeff [04:42]
• On family and fleeting fame:
  “Even the most passionate fans of The Bert Show...nobody is going to be talking about us except for family.” – Jeff [08:21]
• On quirky motivation rituals:
  “Every time I climb stairs...I think that I’m walking up to receive my award at the Oscars.” – Jeff [18:23]
• Listener on dating as a single parent:
  “If you’re not a parent, you cannot possibly understand what it means to sacrifice your time, your money, your energy for a kid.” – Margaret, caller [51:18]

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Important Timestamps

• [00:30]– Health and injury updates; Jeff’s post-transplant illness story
• [04:41]– Reflections on legacy and the meaning of having children
• [11:23]– Farmville anecdotes
• [16:13]– Start of “Am I Normal?” segment
• [31:12]– Follow-up with Daniel and the “photo frame” marriage dilemma
• [44:36]– Segment on dating men with kids; call-ins from single parents
• [52:30]– Lisa’s emphatic advice: single parents don’t want to be your “guinea pig” for deciding if you want kids

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Episode Tone & Style

The Bert Show maintains its signature blend of humor and authenticity—moving effortlessly from bantering about video game crops to deeply personal admissions about mortality and longing. Listener participation shines in the “Am I Normal?” segment, with the hosts providing equal measures of empathy, snark, and genuine advice.

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Summary prepared for listeners wanting the highlights, laughs, and heartfelt moments from The Bert Show’s June 10, 2026 “Vault” episode.

Transcript

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[Jeff]

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[Katie]

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[Jeff]

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[Katie]

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[Daniel]

Hey, the Birch Show.

[Melissa]

So Melissa and I are both playing injured this morning. I jacked up my knee playing soccer this weekend, and I'm fairly certain I tore my ACL. My doctor's not 100% sure because it's so swollen right now. He couldn't tell. He did some tests on it that indicate that it's not great. So I'm going in for an MRI on Thursday.

[John]

And you're in so much pain you had to leave the show and go get some painkillers this morning?

[Melissa]

I did. I'm pretty loopy right now.

[John]

Yeah, but does your knee feel better?

[Melissa]

Yes.

[John]

Does it help, like, instantly?

[Caller/Listener]

No.

[Melissa]

It takes about 20 minutes to kick in.

[John]

No, but I mean, once it kicks in, all the pain in your knee goes away or just subsides a little bit.

[Melissa]

It subsides. And I don't take a whole one. I take a half one. If I took a whole one, I'd probably feel great. But then you guys could have some real fun. And I don't feel like being that vulnerable with Jeff.

[Daniel]

Maybe we should all take them.

[Bobby]

All.

[Melissa]

You guys take them. I'd love to see you on.

[Daniel]

We'll do the show.

[Melissa]

So, yeah, I'm a little on the loopy side today, but, yeah, the pain is going away for sure. So I'll know Thursday what's going on with that. I'm just bummed out because, I mean, I'm in my 40s now and I still want to be active. I'm playing soccer and I've had a. The time of my life, the last couple of weeks playing, and I'm coming to the realization that I can't keep up. Man. Sucks. Like, what are you supposed to do?

[John]

That does suck.

[Katie]

And you had torn your other knee before, right?

[Melissa]

Yeah, that was long time ago.

[Jeff]

I just think overcompensated for so long.

[Melissa]

Maybe that's it. I don't know. We'll find out more Thursday. And then Melissa's back and she's been out for what, a week and a half now.

[Jeff]

Yeah. And I seriously considered being out this week, but I thought, no, I'm going to tough it out. I got laryngitis a couple weeks ago. Felt fine, no big deal, just lost my voice. But one of the things, for those who don't know, I'm a kidney transplant recipient and I got my transplant in 2002. And one of the things with kidney transplants or any transplants is that we take medicines to suppress our immune system. Because the idea is if our body recognized the foreign object, which is the transplanted organ, then it would fight against it and try to reject it. So I to be very careful about not getting sick. And so they tease me in here all the time because I take so many preventative measures and not getting sick that there have been times when everybody in the room has gotten sick and I have not gotten sick. But this illness has probably been the worst I've had since my transplant because it, you know, it was. Yeah, it started as laryngitis and then it kind of evolved into ear infection on both ears. I still can't hear out of one of them. I. I kinda can hear out of the Other one. And if it doesn't clear up on its own, then I'm gonna have to have a procedure in order to clear my ears out.

[Melissa]

Is that why you only have one part of your headphones over your ears today?

[Jeff]

Yeah, the earphone thing, too, is because my. You know, the tubes running from my ears also are a little swollen, so the headphones kind of irritate them. So I'm just generally uncomfortable and have been so for, you know, going on three weeks now.

[Daniel]

You want one of them? Pillsburg, Son.

[John]

It's brutal.

[Jeff]

No, I had to get off those pills in order to come to work. I've been on narcotics all last week, and I didn't know where I was. I didn't know. You know, I didn't know what day it was. I missed most of the Haitian coverage. I missed most of the Lane Kiffin coverage because I was so out of it. Yeah. I just was so sick. And so I'm still sick. But one of the things that it brought up to me and Katie is this is the first time she's seen me really sick since we dated.

[John]

And y' all have been together four years.

[Jeff]

We've been together four years now. And, you know, one of the things for me that is always in the back of my mind is the fact that a kidney transplant is not a cure. It is a treatment for kidney disease. So the kidney people ask me all the time about the kidney transplant. No, it is not permanent. Yes, it could be gone any day. Anything could knock it out. And so as you just go in life knowing that, because I just feel like, well, without modern medicine, I would have died before I was 30 if

[Melissa]

something were to happen to that kidney. Now, does that get you higher on the transplant list or. Because you've had one already, does it lower you, or is it the same?

[Jeff]

It's pretty much the same. I mean, I go in, you know, people. It's first come, first serve. So, you know, certainly the most. The most ill will get. You know, people want to save somebody's life, but. Yeah, no, you gotta sort of always

[Melissa]

live with that in the back of your head.

[Jeff]

Yeah, yeah. I'd go back on dialysis and I'd have to search for another organ. So you. You know, it's my response because, you know, you never know what's gonna happen. And so, you know, you accept whatever happens. And. But you do, you know, my responsibility to do my best to keep from being the contributor to it. You know, I take my medicines as I'm supposed to, and I do the best I can not to get sick. And so anyway, in this case, I was really sick last week and I just was not feel. You know, when you get really, really sick, you just. The core of you is just so weak. So last week, one of the things that crossed my mind was, what if I don't get better? You know, what if I don't get well because the laryngitis turned into an ear infection, which turned into me being on the couch. I mean, literally, you know, Katie said when I'd fall asleep, I would just be constantly talking. I was so restless and so just uncomfortable and, you know, and I just kept. And it just wasn't getting better. And I'm on antibiotics and I'm on steroids and I've got all these things going on because I can't take other medicines that might be more aggressive. But it really brought home a fact that I've always known and I've never really let go of. But it's just like, what if this is it? What if this is the illness that's going to take me out? Because it can start as small as a cold or a flu. And then I thought, am I okay with that? Because you always have to kind of check yourself when you have a chronic or terminal illness. Like, you know what? I gotta check myself. Am I cool? Have I done everything I want to do? Am I living the way I need to live? And for the most part, I have to confess that, yes, I felt like, you know what? I've been incredibly lucky. Been incredibly lucky in my job and my relationship. But I will say the one thing that kept coming up in my mind was children. That's the one regret I had that, you know, because I tease about how much Katie wants children and of course she wants children, but, you know, it just. The more. Not only the more I'm with her and see, you know, and consider it more and want it more, but I think that it's one of the things that's what keeps coming up when I get this sick.

[Melissa]

Is it the legacy? I'm sorry? Is it the legacy part of it, or is it the fact that you haven't had the experience of raising children yourself?

[Jeff]

It's the legacy part, I think, more so than anything.

[John]

I think that that's a very human quality. Yeah, that's very much a thing. I mean, I think that's sort of programmed in all of us.

[Jeff]

Yeah.

[John]

That you want to leave a legacy.

[Jeff]

Ye. I just feel like the only. You know, because we're in a. In a Business that is, you know, is a popularity contest. I mean, we. We thrive, all of us in this room thrive on attention, or we wouldn't be doing what we're doing, you know, and we. And those of us in this room have been very successful at making a name for ourselves in this community. And there are people that know us, and there are people that love us just based on what we do, and that's fantastic.

[John]

But there's people that hate us based on what we do, too.

[Jeff]

True. But just because they know us.

[Caller/Listener]

Yeah, true.

[Jeff]

But even the most passionate fans of the Burt show in a hundred, nobody is going to be talking about us except for the people in our families. You know what I mean? And, you know, the fact that, you know, there are things. I mean, it's just the idea, like I was laying in my guest room one day, just changing positions in different rooms, and I was in my guest room one day, house humping. Yeah, right. Yeah. Which. Yeah, that's right. I really felt like doing that. Well, there's a library, and a third of my library is my father's books that he passed down to me. And I just thought, I'm collecting these books that I will never read simply because they were my father's. They're anybody else's, I would have given them away. So anyway, I mean, it's just those little things when it comes to family, and especially your parents and your grandparents and your great grandparents, that it just. For me, I thought, you know, what if I had more time and I had a chance to do it, I would really make more of an effort to have children.

[Melissa]

I have a friend that is fighting breast cancer right now, and she's been very, very candid in things that have been going on with her. And she's lost her breast and she's lost her ovaries also. And she said to me that the hardest thing of this whole thing hasn't been the fight against the cancer. It's been the fact that she knows now she's never gonna have children. That's been a way bigger fight for her than the. Than the actual cancer.

[Jeff]

No, she can have children. I mean, you know, because Katie and I, not only are we thinking about using our own eggs, we're seriously thinking about adoption. There's opportunities out there, you know. Absolutely. To have children, it doesn't have to be a blood, but. Yeah, it just, you know, that's obviously a selfish reason. I mean, I would do my best to be a mother. I think I'd be a better mother now that I'm older than I would have been when I was younger. That's just a personal thing. But, yeah, I mean, I have to say that, you know, it just. It. Yeah, it just is. It's not. I never have this feeling of, why me? Because I should be dead. You know, So I never really truly ever think, why me? I don't think I'm unlucky. I don't think that, you know, why do I have to worry about every flu season that comes around and every. You know, Because I do. And I'm constantly worried about when people are sick around me, and constantly. You know, it's just this one got me, and it. You know, and it's still hanging on to me. So they're still in the back of my mind thinking, you know, until I'm completely well, will I feel comfortable? Because I. You know, when you're sick and battling this, you know, illness on any level, when you're a transplant recipient, you know, you always think, wait, I'm not out of the woods until I'm completely well.

[Melissa]

Sure.

[Jeff]

So.

[John]

Well, this changed the way that you guys are at home because Katie had gotten really sick after the stress of the holidays and everything else. Like, we. Are y' all still in your room together? And, like, maybe next time you'll just separate rooms.

[Jeff]

I think she'll. I think she. You know, we. I found that I. Both of us are a lot more conscious about that when we're outside the home. When you're at home, you're more comfortable.

[John]

Yeah.

[Jeff]

I do think that Katie probably, You know, I can't speak for. I'm assuming that in the back of her mind, she thinks, you know what? Next time it's gonna be different.

[Daniel]

The bird show.

[Jeff]

All right, let me tell you about farmville real quick, because my crops wilted over the week that I was set, okay? So I'm not making any damn money. And I appreciate people, you know, coming and fertilizing my crops.

[Melissa]

And we started doing the math on it. We thought maybe you were lying to us on the radio saying you didn't know anything about farmville, when in reality, you had a crop.

[Jeff]

And I can trace it down to Facebook because there was a Facebook announcement that I had joined farmville, and if you look at the date of that, it is the same day that we talked about it on air. So I did not join farmville until we talked about it on air. And I thought, well, let me see what all this is about. So, no, I did not lie to you that day. And then since Then I have tried. I can't do anything. The thing about farmville that frustrates me. Okay, let me just tell you real quick. Is the fact. Here we go.

[Melissa]

Here we go.

[Daniel]

Somebody's got some fertilizer in there.

[Jeff]

Well, it's the fact that, I mean, you know, what gets people is there's a. What sucks you into farmville. The way they manipulate their farmers is the fact that there is a time limit on each crop. So you literally have to keep track. If I plant strawberries, it tells me how long before I need to harvest them. If I plant wheat, it tells me, and if I don't go back, they wilt.

[Melissa]

Is that why people are getting up at two in the morning to harvest their crops?

[Jeff]

Yes, because when I first started it.

[Melissa]

So if you let it wilt, though, then what happens?

[Jeff]

You lose the money. Because the way it works is you spend money to plow and to seed the land, and then when the crops come, you harvest them and then you get a profit. Well, I spent the money to seed it and to, you know, to plow it, but now that my crops have wilted, I've lost all that money. So I don't have any more money to sow.

[Melissa]

It's not real. But it's not real money.

[Katie]

It's not real.

[Jeff]

It's farmville money.

[Melissa]

So you're getting upset over fake money?

[Jeff]

Well, I'm getting crops, so if people are. I'm not really playing because I'm a broke farmer with a dustbin. That is my farm.

[John]

People are gonna send you gifts.

[Katie]

I know.

[Jeff]

I got six, I think, 60 requests last week for people to be my neighbor on farmville, and I was a little freaked out by that.

[Melissa]

You don't like real neighbors?

[Jeff]

Yeah, I don't talk to my real neighbors, so why the hell am I gonna talk to you?

[Daniel]

I gotta be honest with you. I'm shocked that you would embark on any project that, you know other people are getting up for. You sleep 20 hours a day. Like the last thing you're gonna do is set an alarm to weed a field.

[Jeff]

I'm not. That's why. That's why I have nothing in my farm.

[Daniel]

Get it?

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talk about how confusing weight loss has become? Like one minute it's carbs are bad and then the next it's no, actually carbs are fine, but only if you walk 10,000 steps and drink a green juice. And honestly, it's just a lot. And then even if you do lose the weight, keeping it off is a whole different story. If you're struggling and want something that fits your real life, hers can help. It's designed to support you in reaching your goals in a way that actually fits your life. That's why weight loss by hers is getting so much attention right now. Hers connects you with licensed medical providers who create doctor developed treatment plans tailored to you. They offer access to an affordable range of FDA approved GLP1 medications, including the Wegovy Pill and the Wegovy Pen. It helps regulate your appetite so you eat less and keep the weight off. If you're ready to reach your goals and want to try something new, visit fourhers.com Bert to get personalized affordable care that gets that's F-R-H E R S.com Bert for hers.com Bert Weightliftsbyhurst is not available in all 50 states with go is a registered trademark of Novo Nordisk A S to get started and learn more, including important safety information with Gobi clinical study information and restrictions, visit borherst.com

[John]

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[Daniel]

Listen, it's the Vert show. So am I Normal? We've done this on the show A few times. It's been a while. And our caller, we actually had a caller who. The whole reason we're going to do this, she wanted to know if she was normal and she bailed on us.

[Katie]

No way.

[John]

Can we at least talk about her abnormalness?

[Daniel]

Absolutely.

[John]

Okay.

[Daniel]

And we can use her real name of Tanya, because if she's not gonna join us, then she doesn't have the opportunity to use a fake name or voice disguiser. But apparently Tanya, once a month has to go in front of her bosses and justify the work she's done over the past 30 days, like, kind of present to them. I don't know if she works in sales or what she does, but every month she has to go into a room with her boss and say, this is how much I sold. These are the new leads I've found. This is. Whatever.

[Jeff]

I wonder if she's always done it or she's just doing it now in this, you know, weird job climate.

[Daniel]

I think she. I don't know what the situation is,

[Jeff]

but the bosses are like, oh, God, is it the 30th again?

[Daniel]

Well, no, it's required for her at work. That's not the weird thing.

[Jeff]

Okay.

[Daniel]

No, that's normal. That's every month that she's required to go in there. The weird thing that she does is she puts on an ipod, plays hardcore rap music in the bathroom, and runs and plays in a stall to get her adrenaline up.

[Jeff]

Oh, my God.

[Daniel]

That's before she goes in.

[John]

Before she goes in, Yes. I think that's actually awesome.

[Jeff]

Yeah, I think it's a great idea.

[John]

It's not normal, but it's pretty cool.

[Daniel]

So she goes in there and she.

[Jeff]

It's not the music part. I think it's her jogging in the stall.

[Daniel]

My thought is if you go into the bathroom after her and you see that going on, you're wondering what got her all bound up.

[Jeff]

Yeah, she's like a cat who's all excited now that she's doing business.

[Daniel]

But you know how you can hear when somebody's got the headphones on? So you hear the music playing in the background.

[John]

Yeah.

[Daniel]

And hear the tiny little music sounds. And then you just see somebody running. Then she comes out and you're expecting her, or I guess her to be dressed up to, you know, about to go out for a run or something,

[John]

but she's dressed for business, full on.

[Daniel]

Shoot, I'm ready to go in.

[Jeff]

I love that.

[John]

I don't know what song she listens to.

[Daniel]

All she said in her email was that it was hardcore rap music, so that's awesome. So staying pumped. Do you guys have anything?

[Jeff]

Well, you know, a couple in the, you know, honor of the Golden Globes. And I've done this for, I don't know how long. And I think because when I was a kid, I was addicted to all these award shows. And of course, like every kid, you, you know, think about winning an Oscar and what it would be like to be at the Oscars and everything. So. And it, it, it is without fail, every time I climb stairs that I think that I'm walking up to receive my award at the Oscars. Every time. Every time.

[Daniel]

Like a full flight of stairs or like a little stair step? Doesn't matter.

[Jeff]

Doesn't matter. I just, for some reason, stairs remind me that I'm going to receive my Oscar. And I'll start the stair. If it's a long staircase, I'll start the stairs, you know, kind of fast. And then the top of the stairs, I'll take a little slower because, you know, everybody that wins, like, once they get to the top, they're just like, yeah, thank you so much. And, you know, take those last two steps very slowly. That's awesome. So. Yes. So when you see me climbing stairs, just set in my mind I'm either winning, you know, Best Screenplay or Best Actress.

[John]

I love that.

[Jeff]

Yeah.

[Daniel]

Hey, John. Welcome to the bird show.

[Bobby]

Hey, how are you guys doing?

[Daniel]

Good. We're glad to help and tell you if you're normal or not.

[Bobby]

Okay. Well, actually, I know that it's definitely not normal. It's something my fiance makes me do. She'll make me play Sleeping Beauty with her. She'll lie down on the bed and she'll make me go outside the room and then come in and do a whole dialogue. Be like, oh, who's this I see? Is this Sleeping Beauty?

[Caller/Listener]

Are you.

[Bobby]

No. And I'll have to go over and give her a kiss. And if I don't do it right, I gotta do it again.

[John]

You really love this woman, don't you?

[Bobby]

Oh, I do. And it's funny because sometimes, like, I'll go over to make her kiss and she'll be like, giggling inside. Then she'll, like, just bust out laughing. She goes, oh, let's do it again. Let's do it again. I didn't do it right. It's crazy.

[Katie]

And how far into the relationship did

[Jeff]

she, like, start doing this role playing thing?

[Katie]

Because that doesn't happen off the bat.

[Bobby]

No. Okay. We've been together for about seven years. I'd Say it started about a year and a half ago.

[Jeff]

Okay, so five years into the relationship. Yes.

[John]

She was like, that's hilarious. How did that even start? Is it something she always wanted to do?

[Bobby]

I have no idea. Like, I know she loves, like Disney movies and it was just funny. I don't know. I think we were watching a movie one day and then like, you know, I think I actually egged it on where I was like, just joking around, like, oh, you know, because she was kind of, I fall asleep. And I think I might have said, oh, you know, it's Sleeping Beauty. And I gave her a kiss. And then she loved it from that point. So I think it was my fault. And I hate playing that game. You always want me to play it.

[Daniel]

I'm like, geez, hey, she's really hot, isn't she?

[Bobby]

She actually is.

[Daniel]

She is loving it. I knew that.

[John]

So the answer to that.

[Melissa]

Am I normal?

[Daniel]

Yeah. No. 404741Q100. That's the phone number if you want to call and let us evaluate whether or not you're normal.

[John]

I've got one. I actually fold my jeans before I put them in the dryer.

[Melissa]

What?

[Caller/Listener]

What?

[John]

I know. I don't know where it started or where I heard about it, but I feel like a long time ago, somebody. I can't even remember, but somebody told

[Daniel]

me that if you did all three of us give a high pitched? What?

[Jeff]

Yeah. My math is still a tight.

[John]

I have to take out my jeans. It's very much like a methodical thing. Whatever. And I hate doing laundry, so I don't want to prolong it, but now that I heard this, I have to do it. I have to take the jeans out and like shake them out. Right? Cause you know how they get all twisty and bindy and whatever in the dryer. And I have to like smooth out

[Daniel]

the legs in the washer.

[John]

You mean in the washer? Yes. I'm sorry. And from the washer, I take them out, I have to shake them out and then like smooth down the legs to kind of like get the wrinkles out when they're still wet. And then I have to like fold them in half and then lengthwise again and then I put them in the dryer before I dry them. And I feel like it makes them less wrinkled and I feel like it makes my jeans last longer, but I'm not really sure how.

[Daniel]

I think that, you know, the wrinkles fall out as the jeans dry, but

[John]

to me, I feel like they're gonna turn out better. If they're fold. So every time I do laundry, I fold wet jeans and put them in the dryer.

[Jeff]

Whatever makes you feel.

[John]

So I know that's not normal, but you're not normal.

[Daniel]

Hey, Shelby, welcome to the bird show.

[Caller/Listener]

Hey.

[Daniel]

Hey. How are you?

[Caller/Listener]

Good. How are you?

[Jeff]

Good.

[Caller/Listener]

Okay. I try to see how many circles I can run around in my kitchen before the microwave beeps.

[Advertisement Announcer]

Really?

[Daniel]

So like, so you put something in there to heat up, you throw in your SpaghettiOs, you hit 90 seconds and then you take off like a horse.

[Caller/Listener]

Aw. And I try to see how many circles I can run.

[Jeff]

Oh my God, that's great.

[John]

And where do you tell describe your kitchen? Where do you run around?

[Caller/Listener]

Well, it's not very big, so I sort of get really, really dizzy.

[John]

And so you run around in circles and you count them?

[Caller/Listener]

Uh huh.

[Jeff]

What's your record?

[Caller/Listener]

Yeah, well, I put soup in there for 30 seconds and I ran 29.

[Jeff]

Oh my God. Oh, 11 seconds.

[John]

Good job. That is a small kitchen.

[Daniel]

Yeah. And that's also not normal. Hey, Ashley, welcome to the bird show.

[Caller/Listener]

Hi. How are you?

[Daniel]

Good, how are you?

[Caller/Listener]

Good. I cannot put anything in my mouth without smelling it first. Oh.

[John]

One of my best friends is like this. She smells everything.

[Jeff]

So like gum or like a mint or anything.

[Caller/Listener]

I can't smell it without putting it in my mouth. I mean, I can't put it in my mouth without smelling it first. I think it's weird. I want to make sure it's okay before I eat it or drink it.

[Daniel]

Is it every fork full that you guys do or is it just like the first bite? Like if you have a steak, do you have, do you smell each bite of the steak or do you just smell the first one?

[Caller/Listener]

No, I just smell it before I eat it.

[John]

My friend does it with silverware. She has to smell her silverware before she uses it.

[Caller/Listener]

No, I don't.

[John]

Like, yeah, like she smells everything and it's like, it's kind of weird, this thing. Like if she picked up this pen to use it, she would probably smell it first and then use the pen.

[Katie]

So what does that do?

[Jeff]

What is she looking for?

[John]

I don't know. She said it's just sort of a habit thing. But she. I've noticed the silverware thing she takes. I mean, it's in her own home, in her own kitchen, her own dishwasher. Her own dishwasher. Like she washes the dishes, puts them away, but picks up her fork and smells it.

[Jeff]

See? So you're more normal than Jen's friend.

[Daniel]

I Do have.

[Caller/Listener]

My family gets really annoyed because when we'll go to, like, a nice restaurant, I'll smell the food before I eat it, and they think it's really rude.

[Daniel]

Do you bring the plate up to your nose or do you cut it off with your fork and.

[Caller/Listener]

No, I will bring the plate up to my nose. I'm not going to put my face on the table.

[Daniel]

Okay, good. Well, at least you have manners about it. Yep. That's not odd. Not normal.

[John]

I have a friend who I was asking about this yesterday, and she said at her house, her purse has to hang facing a certain direction on the chair when she walks in the house,

[Katie]

I have a direction thing.

[John]

If it's hanging the other direction, it bugs her. It will bother her all night. So when she walks in the house, her purse has to hang a certain direction.

[Katie]

See, I can't sleep not facing the door. So I have a direction thing. Like, if I go to sleep and I'm facing the window, I will wake up immediately and turn and face the door.

[Daniel]

You mean you'll roll over in bed?

[Katie]

Yeah, because somehow I think someone's gonna come and kidnap me. And if I see them before they kidnap me, I know they're there.

[John]

You can get away. I don't know.

[Jeff]

It's funny you say that, because I cannot sleep with any arm or leg hanging off the bed. Like, since I was a kid. It's still the kid. There's a monster under the bed thing still. Here I am in my late 30s, and I can't sleep with my leg hanging over the bed. I have to tuck it my to slowly back in if I did.

[John]

In there with your Oscar?

[Jeff]

Yeah, exactly. See, my Oscar will save me.

[Daniel]

And you can save your breath because I know this isn't normal and I don't know why I do it, and I don't know where it came from, but if I'm driving through a neighborhood that has, like, a lot of stop signs or a lot of turns to go to someone's house, then for some reason, and I'm in the car alone, for some reason, I start to imagine myself driving one of the parking lot trams at Disney World.

[Jeff]

Oh, my God, that's hilarious. What?

[Daniel]

Yep. Seriously, I will actually.

[Jeff]

You should not have said this right before Burt's Big Adventure. You know that, right?

[Daniel]

Or I will actually make turns wide so that all four cars of the tram will make it around the turn.

[Katie]

Do you ever pretend you have a walkie talkie?

[Daniel]

No, it hasn't gotten that far yet.

[Caller/Listener]

Hi.

[Katie]

And over on the Left, kids.

[Caller/Listener]

Awesome. I love that.

[John]

That is not normal.

[Daniel]

Arms and legs inside the vehicle. People, please remain seated till we arrive at our destination. I'm not in the park, Jen. I'm in the parking lot.

[John]

I'm sorry, I thought you were not on the safari of the animal kingdom. Mm.

[Daniel]

That's on a track. I'm free. I can go wherever I want.

[Jeff]

He's trying to take people to their cars.

[Daniel]

I'm actually delivering people to a real place. That's Simba want. Hey, Joanne. Welcome to the show.

[Caller/Listener]

Hi, guys. Good morning.

[Daniel]

How are you? Good. How are you?

[John]

Good.

[Jeff]

Can't wait.

[Caller/Listener]

I have kind of. All my friends think it's gross, but I think it just makes me happy. So I do it. When I eat Peanut M&MS, I have a napkin in front of me and I have to put one at a time. I color code them first. Then I put one at a time in my mouth, get all the chocolate out, and the peanut has to stay completely intact. I put that on a piece of napkin and I wait till I put. Eat all the peanuts, I eat all the chocolate, and then I go back and eat the peanuts one at a time.

[John]

That sounds really awful.

[Daniel]

Not only is that not normal, it's freaking disgusting.

[Caller/Listener]

It's awesome. The peanuts have the best flavor when they're by themselves. It's just. It's wonderful.

[Katie]

Do you collect them?

[Caller/Listener]

No, I just eat them after she eats them.

[Daniel]

I love the way she responds to Wendy. Almost annoyed. No, she dumps.

[Jeff]

It's almost like she's double dipping her peanuts.

[Daniel]

Have you ever had them, like, on the napkin on your desk and had somebody walk up to your cubicle and just take a few of them?

[Caller/Listener]

Oh, yeah. They think it's disgusting because it looks.

[Bobby]

They.

[Caller/Listener]

They look gross. They look like it's nasty. But, you know, I just take care of it.

[Daniel]

Not, not, not normal.

[Katie]

But if we.

[Jeff]

Yeah. Now if we did a segment called am I Annoying? It's those people who eat like. Like Snicker bars. I had friends in school that would eat Snicker bars. Like, for. On the outside. Like an ear of corn on the top.

[Daniel]

Yeah.

[Jeff]

And then. Yeah, no, eat the damn candy bar. Like, eat it.

[Daniel]

The only food that you can dissect before consuming it is an Oreo cookie.

[Jeff]

Yes, because everything else is. Yeah, it's not baby bites. You gotta, you know, commit to the chocolate.

[Daniel]

Hey, Victoria, you'll be our last call for this round of Am I Normal?

[Caller/Listener]

Okay, well, ever since I can remember, like, middle school, I don't like doors to be open when I go to sleep. And I don't like mirrors in my room to reflect light. So I would take like my full length mirror off the wall and turn around backwards so that I couldn't like see anything.

[John]

And you do this every night?

[Caller/Listener]

Yeah.

[John]

Yeah. That's not normal.

[Daniel]

Do you do to every, every mirror?

[Caller/Listener]

Well, I only had the full length mirror in my room, so nope, not normal.

[Daniel]

This is the bird show.

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[Melissa]

Visit borherst.com this is the Birch Show.

[Bobby]

Previously on the Bird Show.

[Daniel (Caller)]

I've had two pictures on this little bulletin board. You know, one of my co workers, she gave me, you know, one of the three frame things that you put on the desk that popped in the two. And I didn't really care about the third empty slot, but she has been commenting on it for like the last month. Now, innocently, I find any random picture, one of my co workers, like from a company eventually.

[Daniel]

Is it a picture of just your co worker? Is it like you and your co worker or a group of people with that coworker?

[Daniel (Caller)]

It was just the two of us.

[Melissa]

You understand that, Melissa?

[Jeff]

So he. Okay, so he has a co worker that he has a picture of on his desk.

[Daniel]

He got basically the extent that what you didn't hear is he had two pictures like thumbtacked above his desk. And for Secret Santa, his co worker gave him like a little montage frame, right? And he put the two pictures in it. And then she was giving him grief because the third slot was empty. Cause he only had two pictures there at the office.

[Jeff]

So because she's giving him grief, he puts a picture of them and her.

[Daniel]

What he claims is that he just went on his computer and went to the last email or last file of pictures that were shared, find a picture of the girl who gave him the frame and him at a company party. That was a vertical picture. So fitness slot, put it in there. Wifey saw it, is convinced the two of them are having an affair.

[Jeff]

Huh.

[Melissa]

Okay. Some were caught up also saying that they didn't buy his story either some

[Katie]

people thought he was having the affair

[John]

or was at least interested in her and that it was kind of like a flirty gesture.

[Jeff]

Right.

[Melissa]

But the, the universal advice was don't, don't have the co worker call your wife because she's not gonna buy it anyway.

[Caller/Listener]

Yeah.

[John]

It's just gonna make it a way bigger deal.

[Melissa]

Anyway, right here is Daniel back. Good morning, Daniel.

[Daniel (Caller)]

Hey, how are you?

[Melissa]

Good, how are you?

[Daniel (Caller)]

I don't know. I'm totally baffled. I'm confused. I'm not good.

[Katie]

Are you still in the doghouse?

[Daniel (Caller)]

Yeah, I'm like in the doghouse, like down the block now.

[Melissa]

What happened?

[Daniel (Caller)]

Alright, so I took, you know, everyone's advice and I attempted to try to fix the situation. I emailed my co worker. I figured that was maybe the best way to try to get her to help me out.

[Melissa]

And you did tell her what was going on with your wife?

[Daniel (Caller)]

Yeah, I explained the whole thing, what happened, and I just. I asked her if she would call my wife and just tell her, you know, nothing's going on. I gave her her cell phone number, all that.

[Katie]

So you didn't take our advice?

[Daniel]

Of course not.

[Daniel (Caller)]

Well, you guys didn't really give me any advice. It was only, like, telling me they

[Katie]

thought, don't say anything.

[Melissa]

Yeah, we said, if you have the co worker call your wife, then she's not gonna believe it anyway. And she may be more effed to think you're just trying to cover something up. Was the advice that all of us gave you?

[John]

Mm,

[Daniel (Caller)]

no. Everyone was telling me they thought I was doing it, and I didn't, so I was just trying to clear my name.

[Jeff]

So she called your wife.

[Daniel (Caller)]

So. No, no, she was like. She responded to the email. She was like, this is a little too weird for me, and it's my problem. And, no, she's not doing anything.

[Melissa]

Good for her.

[Jeff]

Yeah.

[Melissa]

Probably the smart way to handle it.

[Jeff]

Absolutely.

[Daniel (Caller)]

Yeah. Well, all right. Then I figured, all right, well, that's evidence, at least enough. So I forwarded that on to my wife.

[John]

Oh, no.

[Jeff]

Oh, no.

[Daniel]

Let me call you a wrecker.

[Caller/Listener]

Can't.

[Advertisement Announcer]

Cause he's.

[Daniel (Caller)]

Maybe I should have called you guys.

[Katie]

There's no pulling them out.

[Daniel (Caller)]

Well, all right. So I forwarded. I thought this was a good idea. I forwarded off to my wife, and I was like, look. See, like, if there was something going on, she wouldn't have responded like this, you know?

[Daniel]

Sure. And there's no chance that you guys would have talked in the hall and said, look, I'm gonna send you an email, and here's how I want you to respond.

[John]

So what did your wife say after she got the forward?

[Daniel (Caller)]

Well, she replied all, you know, so that my coworker saw it, and she was like, this proves nothing. And basically, you know, I'm still in the doghouse, and she doesn't talk to me all weekend.

[Jeff]

That's a good way to handle it.

[Katie]

Yeah.

[Jeff]

Well, I just. I think that you've embarrassed your wife. I mean, you know, because it makes. Like, if. If Katie was involved or I thought she was involved with somebody else, for that woman to be in conversation with Katie or for her to forward me an email between her and that woman would so make me mad. Because if nothing's going on, then that Girl needs to be cut out of the picture. You know what I mean? And for you to keep going to the co worker and. I don't know, it just. Yeah, I would be. As the wife, I'd be embarrassed, I'd be angry. I'd be. Feel disrespected, you know, that you're bringing, you know, you're showing your business out to everybody else. And so, yeah, I would definitely think something's going on.

[Melissa]

Well, what can he do at this point? Okay, so let's say he made the mistake and he puts the picture of the co worker in the frame. All right? He admits that I made a mistake. She doesn't believe him at this point. So what can he do?

[Jeff]

Take the picture out and leave that co worker alone. Yeah.

[John]

Is the frame still up on your desk?

[Daniel (Caller)]

Yeah, but, I mean, I'll take the picture out.

[Daniel]

I mean, you haven't taken the picture out.

[Melissa]

Why haven't you done that?

[Daniel (Caller)]

Because I've been dealing with other stuff, man. I don't know.

[Melissa]

Yeah. Now, does the co worker know that the picture of her is in the frame still also?

[Daniel (Caller)]

Yeah, I guess. I mean, she works down the hall.

[Melissa]

Okay, so she's creeped out now also.

[Daniel]

Mm,

[Daniel (Caller)]

I guess.

[Melissa]

So now you have to have your wife call your co worker and tell her you're not creepy. What's that?

[Daniel (Caller)]

I just figured nothing's going on. I figured this was all cool. I mean, I figured this would just clear the game.

[Daniel]

But you're looking at it from a logical guy point of view. You have to look at it from a emotional woman point of view.

[Jeff]

Oh, my God, you're an idiot. And the thing is that you need to realize is that your wife should be number one.

[Melissa]

Was that to Jeff or Daniel?

[Jeff]

I won't say no. I'm just kidding. Of course to Daniel, because I think that your wife is number one, and her concern is number one, period.

[Bobby]

Right.

[Jeff]

The thing is, a photo in the frame shouldn't mean anything. And, you know, the.

[John]

The.

[Jeff]

To me, that's the logical part is, well, duh, leave. The. The coworker should be completely off your desk and completely off your email completely.

[Daniel]

But what he's trying to do is trying to do what guys do, and that is solve the problem. Oh, my God. The problem is my wife thinks there's a situation with this woman. So how do I solve that problem? Well, this woman tells my wife, and then it's done. Your wife is responding to this whole thing emotionally, and she's responding to this from a place of insecurity. And a place of.

[Jeff]

Oh, my God, are you kidding me?

[Melissa]

It's totally your wife's fault. You ought to start having an emotional.

[Daniel]

No, I'm not saying I can't.

[Melissa]

Look, if she's gonna blame you for you.

[Jeff]

You're sounding so condescending to the wise.

[Daniel]

I'm not being condescending. You guys aren't even listening to me.

[Jeff]

Yeah, we are. Emotional, insecure woman is pulling it out of the well.

[John]

There's gotta be a reason before the picture frame that she's insecure.

[Daniel]

Thank you, Janet.

[Jeff]

I think there's a reason before the picture frame that she doesn't trust her husband.

[John]

Yes, that's what.

[Daniel]

Thank you. It's an emotional response. He is trying to solve it logically and it is not something that can be solved logically. It's not a dead battery in a car. It's not something that you can fix by having the woman call or by having the battery. By having the battery replaced or the picture removed. You have to find whatever the emotional situation is with your wife. Is she insecure? What have you done to make her not trust you in the past? What is the reason that she's having this reaction to a picture of a co worker on the desk, and that's how you have to address it.

[Melissa]

Jahia, good morning. You're on cue and hungry.

[Caller/Listener]

Hey, I just wanted to tell the caller, I think. Okay, yeah, he screwed up, but really,

[Bobby]

you guys are right.

[Caller/Listener]

Like, his wife is really insecure about something, but I think he should come to her with like, just completely laying

[Bobby]

it on and be like, look, honey,

[Caller/Listener]

I know this looks bad, but as your husband, I need you to trust me. But I also want to know why you feel this way.

[Bobby]

Because it's so much bigger than the picture.

[Caller/Listener]

But let her know, you know, and in a. In a bond of marriage, you know,

[Bobby]

that's kind of one of the big things, is trust.

[Caller/Listener]

So just tell her. Look, as your husband, I need you to take my word. I know this looks horrible, and I apologize if you were offended in any way, but I need you to trust me. Just this one, you know, this is my one gimme.

[Melissa]

Hey, Daniel, have you had infidelity issues in your relationship before?

[Daniel (Caller)]

No.

[Melissa]

When you guys were dating or anything like that?

[Daniel (Caller)]

No, I'm a one woman guy. I love her. That's it.

[Daniel]

It doesn't even have to be. Has she ever dealt with infidelity in any relationship she's been in?

[Daniel (Caller)]

I think there's a boyfriend in college that might have cheated on her. But, I mean.

[Daniel]

Because that's what.

[Jeff]

I disagree that a woman's gonna be scarred for life about something like that. I think that women never get over something like that.

[Daniel]

It doesn't have to be scarred for life. But this seeing another woman's picture on his desk created a reaction in her that he has to address somehow. And the way he's gonna do that is by finding out. And if it's because of a boyfriend, cost her trust or maybe did it

[John]

her dad, just the fact that it happened would tick me off.

[Jeff]

Yeah, I just. Yeah, I don't. I'm not gonna blame the wife for this, because I think. Are the other two pictures in that frame are those of your wife?

[Daniel (Caller)]

Well, one's me, so hopefully that's not a problem. The other one's our family, you know?

[Jeff]

Okay, so your family is in one of the pictures. I mean, I'm just. Yeah, I mean, I just. I don't think very many people would be cool with somebody having a picture of you, your partner, and a co worker on their desk.

[Melissa]

Here's Jessica. Good morning. You're on Q100.

[Caller/Listener]

Good morning. Firstly, I have to say he's a complete moron. Why even share this information with people statewide whenever the answer is just so obvious? You have a picture of your family, and you have a picture of your co worker. What does that say to everyone who passes by your desk?

[Melissa]

So he's admitting it might have been mistake. So what does he do?

[Caller/Listener]

He takes off the picture. And I, as a. I work as a private investigator, so I've done Teeter's cases before. So basically, he needs to sit down with his wife and talk it out with her and be like, okay, I was a moron. You know, I'm a guy. We don't always necessarily think correctly. I'm joking. But, you know, everyone does make mistakes, and if it truly is innocent, you know, I mean, he's broadcasting this over the air in the state of Georgia. So

[Katie]

I definitely do agree that he needs to be the one to communicate with his wife. Not your co worker, not your best buddy, not your mom's mom, cousin. No, you need to communicate with your wife and take the picture out of the frame.

[Melissa]

Yeah, I think Jeff nailed it. There's got to be something there that's making her feel this way, and you're not tapping into it in any way, shape, or form. You might have been the reason or you might not, but she's obviously reacting this way for a reason.

[Jeff]

Well, I mean, I just think the fact that he hadn't taken the picture out of the frame. Like he hadn't thought to do that. Yeah, I mean, I have a feeling that he may be the reason.

[John]

Yeah.

[Melissa]

You're not handling it 100, just saying.

[Katie]

It sounds logical.

[Jeff]

Just saying sounds logical.

[Katie]

Guys are logical.

[Jeff]

Yeah, he hadn't figured that one out.

[Melissa]

So, Daniel, have a conversation with your wife.

[John]

Try to at least.

[Daniel (Caller)]

I will try to fix this. Thanks.

[Melissa]

Okay.

[Daniel (Caller)]

Bye.

[Melissa]

Bye.

[John]

He sounds a little beat up.

[Melissa]

Yeah.

[Daniel]

It's been a long time.

[Melissa]

What else do you say to the guy? I mean, what else can you say?

[John]

He's just being an idiot.

[Melissa]

At least take the picture out of the frame at this point. Dude, do something.

[John]

Yeah, yeah. And don't forward the email.

[Melissa]

Too late for that.

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[Katie]

I've been going out and about recently, just meeting different people and I'm finding that I'm running into more guys. And the guys that I'm meeting right now all have kids. And I have never dated a guy who's had kids, really talked to a guy who's had kids before or even one kid or who's wanted kids. And they're all like older guys or for me considered them older, like in their 32, 33, like late 20s, early 30s, in their mid-30s. But I mean, nice guys, really interested in them. But the only fear I have is that they have kids and I'm not prepared for kids. But I do want to genuinely get to know these people. But I'm nervous on the fact like when do they introduce you to the kid or do you have to date for a long time with the kid? I don't know how all that works and how to balance their time with my time. I just.

[Melissa]

Well, if you're not interested, I guess it's a couple of different questions here. If you're not interested in dating anybody with kids, Is that what you're saying right now? You're not ready for that?

[Katie]

I'm not ready for kids personally, but the guys I'm meeting, it seems more and more I'm meeting awesome guys, but they all have children.

[John]

And that's holding you back and holding

[Katie]

me back from even. There's one guy who's asked me out on a date numerous times and I've just kind of avoided the phone call and the text messaging like right now because he's got a child and I don't, I don't know if I'm prepared for that or not.

[John]

You've even. I'm sorry. You've even said that you don't want your own children.

[Katie]

No, I love kids to pieces. Like I love kids. I love being around kids. Kids make me feel awesome. They're just so much fun and non judgmental that's why I love kids.

[Daniel]

They make your hands look normal.

[Katie]

Yes, they make me feel awesome. Kids are amazing.

[Jeff]

She can give them a high five. And it's the same size.

[Katie]

Yeah, but I mean, I don't have time for kids right now. I mean, I don't really want kids ever.

[Melissa]

Or are you saying, you know, now you don't have the time? But are you a person that.

[Katie]

Oh, yeah, I don't know if I ever want kids. I don't know if that's gonna be something for me. Like, right now at this very moment. No, I don't want children. But, I mean, the guys I'm meeting are amazing. They're awesome guys, and they're cool to get to know, but I'm avoiding going out with the guys because they have a child.

[Melissa]

Okay, let's look at this logically. If you don't want to have children, then why would you even consider dating a guy that has kids?

[Katie]

I mean, that's all I'm meeting right now. Like, I'm going out and, like, this past weekend, I met a guy with a kitten who's awesome, and I didn't know he had a kid when we were first starting to talk. But then as the conversation develops and you get in further into the night, then you find out they have children, and they explain that they have children. So I don't know whether or not to do it or not.

[Melissa]

I wonder if I'm like, a single parent. I don't think that I would. Well, maybe I would be trying to think, if you're a single parent, if somebody says to you after they find out you have kids, if you say, oh, you know what? I'm not interested in dating anybody that has kids, probably be offended, right? Or at least you'd be honest.

[John]

I think it would be. Yeah, I think it would be. And we've talked to single parents before on, like, how quickly they should bring it up. And I mean, it's something that's pretty important. You gotta bring it up right away.

[Jeff]

See, I would almost.

[Melissa]

I almost think because you are a single parent that your time is so limited that I think I would rather know initially. Even though it might have offended me or it might hurt my feelings, I think I would rather know immediately. We've got zero future together, even though we seem to have a chemistry. Kids aren't in my future. So there's another hundred women in the bar. Maybe you ought to go talk to them.

[Katie]

But does your mind change? Like, what does if, like, let's say I go out on a couple dates with this guy who has a kid. And then does your mind change about having kids? I mean, I don't know if it can change or what would intimidate me.

[Jeff]

And I guess is the issue is that since children are involved, there's a little bit more heaviness and responsibility to the dating. Because I would be not intimidated that somebody has children or that I would end up being responsible for that child. If the relationship continues. It's just getting a relationship with that child and then it not working. You know, like, how much of a wall do I build between myself and their kid? Cause you want to impress the person by being nice to their kid. But then again, if it doesn't work out, then there's, I would almost say

[Melissa]

don't meet the kids at all.

[John]

You have to be dating for a while before you actually meet the kids and expose the kids to that. And I think too, you also have to think that there is going to be a former either wife or husband or whoever. There's always going to be another parent in the situation. So that's something. For somebody who doesn't have children like you, you're like, mm, that's adding a whole other layer. Like, I just wanna know.

[Jeff]

Dealing with the lights all the time,

[John]

scary movies or not. I don't wanna deal with all that other stuff.

[Jeff]

You know what I'm saying?

[John]

Like, it adds a whole new level.

[Melissa]

Here's Bobby, who is a single dad. Hey, Bobby. Good morning.

[Bobby]

Morning. How are you?

[Melissa]

Good, man. Can you give Wendy some advice here?

[Bobby]

Well, I mean, I'm a single dad. I've had my daughter now for six years. You know, it's just me and her and I've been out with several women and, you know, when they find out that not only my dad, but, you know, it's. It's just me and her. Sometimes I'll see them kind of get out of the way really quick.

[Melissa]

Is that offensive to you?

[Bobby]

Yes and no. I mean, not really after. I'm kind of used to it because, you know, some females, they just don't want to deal with the kid issue. And because there's not really a mother involved, it's like they feel that they're going to be taking on the mother role. Even though I tried to let them know that's not what I want.

[Katie]

Yeah, yeah. I don't think kids are issues. Like, that's not an issue. But I mean, I don't. I don't want to have to get into a relationship and then break it off. And then you meet a kid and. And the kid's involved now, and then you have them. I would feel bad even for the mother of the child, because I don't want to offend her by trying to even be in the picture.

[Melissa]

I just wouldn't want to be the guy that. That you're using as the guinea pig to test if you would date a guy with kids or not. Like, you know, in your head, you don't want kids. So if I'm a single dad, I wouldn't want anything to do with you at all.

[John]

But if the connection is that great, maybe you would change your mind on that.

[Melissa]

I don't want to be that guy is what I'm saying.

[Katie]

Right.

[John]

You don't want to be the test. The test guy on that. But if for some reason, like, I think that you should maybe sort of let go of those boundaries, even though it does present definitely new challenges to dating. Like, what if you're not meeting, like, the man of your dreams because you're eliminating him already because of that, you

[Jeff]

know, because usually when we talk to guys, they're emphatic about it. No, there's no way in hell I dated one with a kid. You know what I mean? At least, you know, with Wendy, she's open because she's trying to determine whether or not to focus on the right thing, which is the guy's personality. Like, you know, but there is a. I mean, that does present different issues. If he does have a great personality and you do connect and you do continue on, you know, something to consider.

[Melissa]

Hey, Margaret. Good morning.

[Caller/Listener]

Hey. I just have a comment about the dating with kids thing. I'm a single mom, and when I go out with any guy that I meet, I have to be sure that they're going to be okay with the kid thing. Because if you're not a parent, you cannot possibly understand what it means to sacrifice your time, your money, your energy for a kid. So if you're dating somebody and you're not really into their kids, you're gonna get really offended that he doesn't have time, money, or energy for you because he's got to give it to his kids. And that's just a hard concept to wrap your brain around if your head isn't there for the whole parenting kid thing.

[John]

And it would change up, too, because, like, say the ex wife has the kids for the weekend, then you get him and you get all of his attention for the whole weekend. And then it'll be for the next two weekends he's got the kids. So then you don't get any attention.

[Melissa]

That's tricky.

[Katie]

So it goes from a lot of attention to zero attention. And.

[Daniel]

And Wendy likes attention.

[Katie]

I mean, we all like. We all like attention and affection. I mean, and then having to split it, like, right away, like, immediately, could be a. A big challenge and something to overcome, because I'm not used to that.

[Melissa]

Hey, Lisa. Good morning. You're on Q100.

[Caller/Listener]

Hey, I'm a single mom. Don't waste my time. I'm not your guinea pig. I gotta work. I gotta pay my bills. I got a mortgage. I gotta take care of my kids. And after school programs and softball. You don't want kids. I'm not here to change your mind. Go out, find some single man, have fun. Be joyous. Leave me alone.

[Melissa]

And that's that.

[Jeff]

That's it.

[Katie]

No, I really appreciate the advice because I don't want to waste anyone's time.

[Daniel (Caller)]

Yeah.

[Melissa]

I say it's not something that you can really dabble in.

[Katie]

Yeah, I guess. But at the same time, he is an awesome guy.

[Daniel]

Mm.

[Katie]

So I don't. I don't know. We'll see.

[Melissa]

You got more guy friends than any woman that I know.

[Katie]

Guy friends?

[Melissa]

Guy friends. Yeah. They're just sort of waiting in the weeds, too, just for you to pounce on you.

[Daniel]

But, yes, you just won't. You just will not open that door to them.

[Melissa]

Which makes her even harder.

[Daniel]

Like, if you. If you were. If. If we were to visualize what it's like in the world of Wendy. It's almost like the American Idol auditions. Like, there's Wendy in the middle, and there's just a line around the building of guys waiting for you to be vulnerable.

[Melissa]

It's a lot of pants on the ground, guys just waiting for you.

[Daniel]

Ew. That's creepy. Listen, it's the vert show.