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Radio Host Burt
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Brian McCann
It's the Burt Show.
Burt Burch
Intern Reshma is up and she's got a hot button here that at least two other Burt show members have the same sort of hot button. And it's the sister relationship. How old is your sister?
Reshma
She is 19. She's 16 months younger than me.
Burt Burch
Okay, all right.
Reshma
Can relate to that. 16.
Burt Burch
Yeah. Wendy has the same kind of sisterly hot button. And Melissa, it comes out from time to time also.
Reshma
And we grew up practically as twins because my mom always wanted twins. So I'm Reshma and her name is Rachna. We look identical. Like, besides, like if you took a black and white photo of us, we look identical. Like I'm a dark version with lighter hair, like, you know, lighter eyes. She's pale, like paler than Wendy and has pitch black hair and light brown eyes. Like, besides that, we are identical. So we grow up like twins. She got everything at the same time. Rachna.
Radio Host Burt
So it's Reshna, Rachna and Reshma.
Reshma
It is.
Burt Burch
Now, did your parents dress you guys in the identical clothes also? They did, absolutely. So they're already establishing that there's. There's no individuality here.
Melissa
That's a foul with twins.
Burt Burch
Agreed.
Melissa
So you're not even twins and you had to dress a lot?
Reshma
Yeah, cuz my mom wanted twins so bad cuz I guess she was on fertility drugs for so long, she was like, if I have twins, I can get out of the way and I'll be done. So my little sister's technically an accident, but like a planned accident. Whatever.
Burt Burch
I'm sure you bring that up to her all the time.
Reshma
All the time. She. A couple weeks or a couple days ago, a friend of mine brought the story back up that I had forgotten about. I hadn't. It was one of those things you kind of repress, but just never really thought about. And I remembered it. And it has been, like, on my mind constantly because I've always, like, messed with my sister. I mean, she's my sister, but. But I never realized how young I started and how intense it was starting with her.
Burt Burch
This could be one of the cruelest things ever that one sister has ever done to another sister.
Melissa
Yeah.
Reshma
And it's a pretty generic thing older
Melissa
sister has ever done to a younger sister.
Reshma
Yeah. And it's a generic thing. It's just. I took it a step further and I told my sister when I believe I was seven, she was five. She might have been. She was five or six. And I told her she was adopted because she does look different than the rest of my family. She's extremely pale. We're all like, you know, tan skin. Like, you know, she did not look identical to any of us.
Burt Burch
Remember having that conversation with her and explaining what adopted was?
Reshma
I do. No, she knew what adopted was. I do remember that. But I remember her telling. Telling her that because she was irritating me. And she was talking. She was, like, being irritating for some reason. And I think she was like, I was telling her why she was doing something different than I was for some reason. And then I just decided to, like. It was one of those things I heard at school. So I decided to tell her that she was adopted.
Burt Burch
So you're really not part of this family? You're not blood?
Reshma
No. I was like, you're not adopted. And I started backing it up. And, like, you don't look like us. You don't act like us. Like, you know, backing it up with little facts and everything, which is Melissa
Burt Burch
with her empathetic eyes right now.
Melissa
Because my sister did the exact same thing to me, about the exact same age. Because I'm the only blonde in my. My father was blonde, but he had turned gray early. So when I was little, I was the only blonde in my family. And so Melanie let me know, look at you. She said, look in the mirror. Look at you. You don't look like us. Yeah.
Reshma
And luckily, I mean, it works really well. But at the end of it, my mom and my, like, you know, she's the younger one, so she always runs to my mom every time I. But to avoid getting in trouble, I told her that she couldn't tell my mom because it would hurt her feelings that she knew because my mom didn't want to tell her yet. So she was like, are you sure? And I. I mean, we had a long conversation about this. I told her that she couldn't tell my mom. It would really, like, you know, affect her because it's a really sensitive topic. And my mom loves her a lot, but I mean, end of the day, she's adopted.
Melissa
I think this is fantastic. Yeah, you do? To younger siblings, of course. Y'.
Caller Lainey
All.
Melissa
Y' all think it's fantastic. Funny.
Burt Burch
And again, she's five at this time.
Caller Lainey
Ye.
Reshma
And I'm seven.
Burt Burch
You're seven. Okay.
Melissa
Just to let the little sibling know, look, we were wanted more than you
Sean Hennig
see what Hayden's telling Hollis right now?
Caller Lainey
It's that age.
Radio Host Burt
Hayden is not that mean, not that cruel.
Burt Burch
Oh, come on.
Reshma
I mean, that's what he said.
Radio Host Burt
But Hollis is saying that to Hayden right now.
Burt Burch
He's probably buying it.
Reshma
But I probably forgot about it the next day. I mean, it was one of those things that you kind of say, like, you know, you have such a, like, short attention span. And I never brought it up again. And we never talked about it. It wasn't like one of those things I taunted my sister with. It was just something I told her once. It was funny that day. And I never brought it up again. Years later, like, years Later, I was 13 and she was 11, and we had moved to Georgia from California. Like, I told her this when we still lived in California. And we are. It's like after school one day, and my mom, like, I'm sitting on the table doing my homework. I remember this so I can tell you what I was wearing. I was sitting at the dining table doing my homework, and my mom and my sister were fighting about something. And I was ignoring them. Cause it had nothing to do with me. So I wasn't gonna get involved.
Caller Lainey
Oh, no.
Reshma
And all of a sudden, out of nowhere, like, nowhere, my sister is like bawling, crying, screaming at my mom. And she goes, you're mad at me cause I'm adopted. And my mom was like, what? And all of a sudden, I like, freeze.
Melissa
I all of a sudden, like six years later.
Reshma
Oh, yeah, six or seven years later. And everything rushes back to me. And I was like, oh, my God. Oh, my God. And I froze. Like, I got chills in my. Like, I'm getting chills now thinking about how scared. So my mom was like, what did you say? And my sister was like, it's cause I'm adopted. And runs off to her room. My mom literally, I can remember the look on her face, like 360swooshes over to me and goes, what did you do? And I have never been beat so hard. In my entire life. But I kid you not knowing my sister thought she was adopted for seven years was completely worth it. Completely worth it.
Burt Burch
No remorse at all.
Reshma
Seven years.
Sean Hennig
This poor child thought she was adopted. Yeah, seven years.
Melissa
And I thought about it when she went to bed. Probably thought about it every time they went and did something.
Reshma
Every time we argued, every time she looked in the mirror. Like, I was thinking about that. And I was like, really?
Burt Burch
Every time your parents made a decision between the two of you and they sided with you for seven years.
Melissa
Blood.
Caller Lainey
Yeah.
Reshma
I never thought about that, though.
Burt Burch
Hey, Brittany. Good Morning. You're on Q100.
Caller Lainey
Hey, I was just calling to tell you that my sister went through the same situation, except I didn't. Like, I didn't start it. My mom actually did. And she told her that she was adopted one day because my sister is like dark skinned and she was getting in trouble and stuff. And my mom actually went with this, like, this scheme and she made me play along with. Went so far that my sister's teacher ended up finding out because my sister went to school crying one day and it was just supposed to be like a joke because she was misbehaving. She was like, well, none of my kids do this because they're so good. It must have been your real mom. You got it from your real mom. And she also told her that she was a twin and that she was a bad twin. So, I mean, it was pretty intensive. My sister has scarred her life. Like, she thinks about it now. She still gets angry about it.
Burt Burch
How old was she? How old was she when your mom had this conversation?
Caller Lainey
She was like in second grade.
Burt Burch
Oh, God.
Melissa
Oh, that's so cruel. I don't mean to be disrespectful, but your. Your mom's kind of.
Caller Lainey
I don't even have a relationship with her anymore. But that's. I mean, she. She's like. She was. It was intense. So my sister, like, if anybody brings up like, zeda, where's your tornad? Or something, she just, like, she'll just start crying or she'll just get really sick.
Burt Burch
As a mom, you can't do that.
Melissa
That's mean. That's just downright mean.
Burt Burch
That turns it from fun to me.
Melissa
Yeah, that's not funny.
Sean Hennig
Siblings are allowed to taunt each other. Parents aren't allowed to taunt their kids.
Reshma
No, my mom would have never now.
Melissa
But see, mine didn't last that long. I just remember I went to Millie Pete and I said, show me the papers. And she goes, what are you talking About. And I said, show me the papers.
Burt Burch
Oh, really?
Melissa
And she said, what are you talking about? The adoption paper.
Radio Host Burt
My real mom and dad.
Melissa
Show me the adoption papers. And she's like, melan.
Burt Burch
Hey, Lisa. Good morning to you on Q100. Hi.
Caller Lainey
Hi. I just wanted to say that in my family, I'm adopted and my brother's adopted, but my youngest sister is actually theirs. So we used to do the opposite to her. And we used to go, well, you're not adopted. You're their kid. And she used to cry because she did not feel special at all.
Melissa
She was just like, I want to be adopted, too.
Caller Lainey
So we used to torture her with that all the time.
Radio Host Burt
They picked us out, and you were just what they got. We were hand picked.
Burt Burch
And there's not one ounce of you that has any kind of remorse about it at all?
Reshma
No, I mean, to this day, we've never talked about it. We tell it, like, in groups to tell, like, people's stories, but we've never, like, discussed the emotional baggage.
Melissa
No, let me. Let me translate that. She feels no remorse whatsoever, and she waits until they're in public and humiliates her sister again by telling the story and laughing about how she cried.
Radio Host Burt
Pretty much.
Melissa
Yes.
Burt Burch
This is going to trump yours. Good morning, lyne. You're on Q100.
Caller Lainey
Hey, it's Lainey.
Burt Burch
Lainey, hi.
Caller Lainey
Hey. You guys are awesome. I just wanted to tell you I have two sisters that are 13 months apart. And since I was very, very little, they had told me that my oldest sister had bit my finger off because I've thrown up on her when I was a baby and I had a scar on the finger that they said. And they said I had to go to the hospital and have it sewed back on. And I believed that until I was probably like, fifth grade.
Burt Burch
That you had a sewed on finger?
Lauren Johnson Narrator
Yeah.
Caller Lainey
I mean, I was really gullible. It was probably stupid on my part.
Melissa
No, it's not gullible. It's called you trust your older siblings to take care of you and protect you. I'm the baby of the family. I empathize with all the younger siblings out there that get picked on.
Burt Burch
Scott, good morning. You're on Q100.
Caller Jesse
I went through a lot with my brother, and he got my mom involved, and I was told that Diane Sawyer was my real mom.
Brian McCann
You're on the Burch show
Radio Host Burt
here.
Brian McCann
Burcha.
Burt Burch
Good morning. Q100. Yes.
Caller Jesse
Hey, I got a question for you. What type of wiffle ball is it that you have? Because if you have the wiffle ball with the holes in it, or if it's a solid wiffle ball, that's going to change the pitch completely.
Burt Burch
Yeah, that's part of the story here that I will detail for Brian McCann right now. So that has a lot to do with the story I'm about to tell.
Radio Host Burt
It appears that Burt doesn't have any balls with him today.
Burt Burch
Oh, that is that. You don't even know Brian. How are you?
Brian McCann
I'm doing good. How are you doing?
Melissa
That sounds like an awkward phrase. Awkward.
Reshma
Thank you.
Burt Burch
Thank you for coming in this morning.
Brian McCann
Thanks for having me.
Burt Burch
We're gonna talk about the Rally foundation. We're gonna talk about the softball game on Friday night and all that. But has Jeff prepared you?
Brian McCann
I've heard a little bit about this
Burt Burch
pitch from what was supposed to happen today.
Brian McCann
Not. Not at all.
Radio Host Burt
Just so you know, up until a half hour ago, Bert had ice on his shoulders.
Burt Burch
I will tell you that this did get pretty pathetic a couple of days ago. But let me go back 20, back to my San Diego State days when I was a young.
Melissa
Brian, how old were you 20 years ago?
Brian McCann
Five.
Melissa
Okay, I'm sorry. Go ahead.
Burt Burch
Well, while you're, you know, tooling around on your big wheel.
Brian McCann
Yeah.
Burt Burch
I'm in college at that point and I have four roommates. And, you know, we're all 18, 19, 20 year old dudes or whatever.
Radio Host Burt
You've probably heard the same story from Smoltzi, so stop it. You can.
Burt Burch
So, you know, you just make up these superficial games just to compete with each other. You probably do the same thing with all your boys right now.
Brian McCann
Oh, yeah.
Burt Burch
So Wiffle ball was our game of choice in our apartment. Four guys competing all summer long, each and every day, taking it very, very seriously. Well, I realized in week one of our round robin tournament that I had an unhittable pitch. Brian McCann.
Brian McCann
What did it do?
Burt Burch
The real question is what didn't it do?
Brian McCann
If you hold the Wiffle ball a certain way, it does. Did it hook real bad on you?
Burt Burch
It.
Brian McCann
Or did it rise?
Burt Burch
Let me try and explain it to you because even as a major leaguer, you might have a tough time, probably.
Radio Host Burt
It was like. It was like one of those cartoon birds. When you get hit on the head. It just went all over the place.
Burt Burch
It really did. Like, it started way up here and it started really high in the strike zone. Really high. Like, Jeff suggested we do this today here in the building. And let's do it. We could. I can't because it breaks higher than 10. It starts higher than 10ft. And how do you throw this? I'm telling you, man, it's got to
Brian McCann
be a certain wiffle ball then.
Burt Burch
Well, I'll get to all of that.
Brian McCann
Okay, so.
Melissa
Oh, don't rush the legend.
Sean Hennig
You didn't realize this because. Come on inside of the movie Big Fish, right?
Burt Burch
That is so not true. All of These details are 100 true.
Melissa
Oh, sit tight for the story, my friend.
Burt Burch
I would throw it into the sky. It would hit the bottom of a plane and it would come down and. And it would also break inside so hard. And it would start on the. It was high and upper left hand part of the strike zone. And it would break so low and to the right at your knees. It wasn't possible to hit it.
Brian McCann
And you could throw it for a strike every time.
Burt Burch
Every time. And, you know, I had my other pitches, but that was my out pitch.
Brian McCann
Okay. I played a lot of wiffle ball growing up, but I don't. I've never heard of a pitch like this.
Burt Burch
You have never seen anything like this.
Brian McCann
There's a guy on YouTube that throws a wiffle ball pretty. You got to check it out. It's amazing.
Burt Burch
What's it.
Brian McCann
What you can do with it.
Burt Burch
What do you think his does?
Brian McCann
He shows it and it rises. He throws as hard as he can, and it rises and hits a strike zone every time.
Burt Burch
So it'll start, like at the floor and then rise its way up. I had a pretty nasty riser also, because, you know, if you're gonna go undefeated a whole summer, you have to have more than just one pitch.
Brian McCann
Absolutely.
Burt Burch
So there was a curve, There was a knuckle, there was a scrooge, but there was the unhittable, unhittable pitch.
Radio Host Burt
You also smoked a tremendous amount of weed in college, too.
Burt Burch
This I was crystal clear about.
Radio Host Burt
Okay.
Burt Burch
Even between hits. This was crystal clear.
Reshma
All right.
Burt Burch
So I've always had, in the back of my mind, man, I wonder if a major leaguer could hit this thing. Just somewhere stored in the back of my head 20 years ago. So Jeff says, you're coming in today. And I'm like, this is it, man. This is the opportunity I've always waited for. Let's go ahead and do this. I mean, you potentially could be in the hall of Fame someday. Who knows? I mean, you're hitting.300. This is going to be perfect. Because this is not like me pitching against some guy that is sometimes up at aaa. Other times, you're the man. So Jeff said, it's on.
Melissa
Brian said, only the best in the major leagues are, is worthy to try to achieve. I love how he talked about, it's not like somebody that goes down and triple A and comes back up.
Brian McCann
No, it's that easy to play. I gotcha.
Burt Burch
Okay. To be the best, you got to beat the best.
Brian McCann
We need to set it up in the parking lot.
Burt Burch
Well, let me tell you why it's not happening.
Melissa
Because I'm here. Because you said, Bert, earlier, before Brian came in, that it wasn't happening and you'd explain. And I'm thinking, oh, well, it had something to do with the fact that Brian couldn't do it. But Brian's sitting here going, no, no,
Burt Burch
no, I never said that. So I took it very, very seriously. And if you're a competitor, you know, it doesn't matter what you're competing in, you want to win.
Brian McCann
Absolutely.
Burt Burch
So I took this very, very seriously. I wanted to bring back this pitch. So last week, and now I know this is going to get pathetic. I go to Dick's sports and I go, I don't have a wiffle ball in the house. So I go to Dick's to go get a couple of balls just to throw it around a little bit, make sure it's, you know, it's been 20 years since I threw the pitch.
Radio Host Burt
Funny sentence.
Melissa
I know.
Burt Burch
So I go to Dick's to get a wiffle ball and the old school wiffle balls are gone.
Brian McCann
Really?
Burt Burch
They're not there. So they've got something called a junk ball now, which just has some holes in the middle and you have to sort of relearn it. But I'm like, you know what, I can relearn this. So I get about six of them and I go to the YMCA up here at Hammond in the middle of the day and I start throwing against that tennis backboard. Yeah, over and over and over. I couldn't find the pitch, man.
Radio Host Burt
I couldn't find it because they jacked with your equipment.
Melissa
Do they still manufacture the ball?
Burt Burch
Well, it's not done yet.
Melissa
I'm sorry.
Burt Burch
So I spent half an hour out there throwing.
Brian McCann
Okay?
Burt Burch
I'm a 42 year old guy that hasn't thrown anything in years. So my arm is falling off of my body at this point, but I am determined. So I start going from sporting goods store to sporting goods store looking for the right wiffle ball.
Brian McCann
Dude.
Melissa
Oh no.
Sean Hennig
Is this what I'm talking? Sad?
Reshma
No, it's pathetic.
Sean Hennig
It's a hero's journey.
Burt Burch
I am aware of how pathetic the story is. So finally I end up at the Sports Authority over by Petsmart in. In Buckhead. And I go in the back section, and the angels started to sing, man, it was almost like there was one beam of sunshine on the Wiffle ball section, and there it was, the correct Wiffle ball.
Radio Host Burt
Not only are you. Do you have this unhittable pitch, but you also have the world's longest excuse.
Burt Burch
Well, no, no, that's really not an excuse. So I go and I get like.
Melissa
I appreciate the passion. I appreciate the passion of going from store to store.
Burt Burch
Dude, I bought 15 wiffle balls.
Brian McCann
That's impressive.
Burt Burch
15 of them.
Brian McCann
Do you have it here with you?
Caller Jesse
No.
Melissa
Why?
Burt Burch
Because I went out and I used the same bag, 15 of them, and I threw for 45 minutes, man. And I can't find the pitch.
Brian McCann
Really?
Burt Burch
I did everything I could. It's gone. It's gone.
Brian McCann
Is there any tape of this pitch
Burt Burch
I was practicing over and over and over again?
Radio Host Burt
No, Brian, they didn't have motion pictures back then.
Burt Burch
I wanted to go back out over the weekend, but my arm was so damn sore from throwing the first day that I can't find the pitch. And I've tried and tried and tried, and it's got no break on it at all. And I figured if I come in here and I throw this thing to you, you're gonna hammer me. So I would rather forfeit and say I don't have the pitch anymore. Oh, man, it's. It was a sad day. My youth is officially gone.
Radio Host Burt
No, that was gone a long time ago.
Burt Burch
The reality of it now, it's gone.
Brian McCann
I wish I could face that pitch.
Burt Burch
I will work on it.
Caller Lainey
All right.
Burt Burch
I won't have it together on Friday. I'll try. I'll try to find it again today, but I don't know what else I can do that I haven't tried already. Because, believe you me, there's nothing more I wanted. I might have quit the industry after that. Had I struck you out, I might have gone to an island somewhere and that would have been it. So it won't happen today, but I hope someday it does.
Brian McCann
Oh, I'll be waiting.
Sean Hennig
And thanks for being a good sport, for saying that you would play along with Burt's little game.
Burt Burch
If I find it, do I have a shot to throw it against you?
Brian McCann
Absolutely. Okay, we'll set it up.
Burt Burch
Because as Jeff said, I think that if I can get it by you, then Chipper's gonna win. Want a piece of it?
Brian McCann
And I can take him down, probably.
Burt Burch
All right. And I can go right through the lineup.
Radio Host Burt
Well, like that dude, they made the movie from the. For the Pittsburgh Steeler guy who ended up getting a walk on position at age 40.
Burt Burch
Yeah. What was that dude's name? The guy that he was on the special teams. Yeah, whatever was it?
Brian McCann
That was the Eagles. The Eagles.
Burt Burch
The Eagles. Yeah. Well, thanks for coming in today, man. We won't see the pitch on Friday, but this is going to be a good time on Friday night.
Brian McCann
It's going to be a blast.
Burt Burch
Yeah.
Brian McCann
Excited to get it. Softball game going. Chipper's gonna be there. Andrew Jones is gonna be there. We'll have a home run derby. And, you know, it's gonna be. It's gonna be a fun time, for sure.
Burt Burch
So this is for the Rally Foundation?
Brian McCann
Yep.
Burt Burch
Which is what?
Brian McCann
It's a research for childhood cancer.
Burt Burch
Okay.
Brian McCann
So it's, it's. It's. It's just a great cause, and you get to meet these kids and they melt your heart.
Burt Burch
And when did you got. When did you get involved? This is not your organization, right? This is a net nationwide organization.
Brian McCann
Yes. We got involved two years ago. Tom Glavin had it and he was, you know, on the end of his career and moving on with something else. And I was in a perfect position to take over. And my wife and I have been nothing but helpful to this thing.
Burt Burch
Awesome, man. So. And the game has all these Atlanta Braves in it, but there's a whole bunch of personalities from TV and radio that are going to be playing in it also, right?
Brian McCann
Absolutely. David Pollock is playing in it. A lot of other guys are playing in it. I can't think of right now, but it's going to be a blast.
Burt Burch
Jeff was telling me, like, the lineups for both teams. There's like 40 deep on both teams.
Brian McCann
It's going to be a long day.
Burt Burch
This game is going to start at 8 and be over at 3 in the morning, man.
Radio Host Burt
It's going to be like a little League game where it's going to get about to the fifth inning and some people are just going to say, let's go get ice cream. Everybody bails.
Melissa
And can everybody come out and watch it? Like anybody can come out and watch this game.
Brian McCann
Absolutely. You show up and it's going to be fun.
Burt Burch
Is it a. It's down at Georgia Tech, Right.
Radio Host Burt
What's the name of the stadium?
Sean Hennig
Russ Chandler Baseball.
Radio Host Burt
Baseball field.
Burt Burch
Oh, that's like the official Georgia Tech.
Radio Host Burt
The big one. Yeah.
Brian McCann
Oh, wow.
Burt Burch
So we get to play on a real field.
Brian McCann
Yeah.
Burt Burch
All right, cool.
Brian McCann
All I want to do is beat Chipper in A home run derby. That's basically all I want to do.
Burt Burch
Who's competing in that? The home run Derby?
Brian McCann
Me, Chipper, Andrew Jones. There's going to be a guy that hits home runs. Softball home runs for. That's what he does. So it's going to be impressive to see him hit the ball. And there's a couple other guys.
Radio Host Burt
So are you guys. The home run derby, is it going to be softball home runs or they.
Brian McCann
It's going to be softball home run. So it's something that we've never done before.
Sean Hennig
And it's slow pitch softball. Right?
Brian McCann
It better be.
Melissa
I was saying the same thing.
Brian McCann
I don't think I could hit anything that's coming fast right now.
Burt Burch
And how far are the fences in softball?
Brian McCann
I'm not sure how far it's going to be, but it's usually like 250ft, I think.
Sean Hennig
Okay, and what is it normally on the baseball field?
Brian McCann
400 to dead center. 330 down the lines.
Sean Hennig
Gotcha.
Burt Burch
But as I said before, there's something about competing. Like, if you have that in your blood, like you want to win, you want to beat these guys, Right?
Brian McCann
This is bragging rights. Absolutely, I want to win. This is bragging rights for 162 games.
Burt Burch
Because if you lose, he's got to hear chipper in his ear the entire season.
Brian McCann
Something I don't want to hear. Right.
Radio Host Burt
So were you pr like, were you like, warm up for this, like, practice for this, or you're just gonna go
Brian McCann
and I hope I swing and miss. No, I'm not. I'm not gonna swing at all. I'm just gonna go and see what I got. Okay.
Burt Burch
So it's Friday night, the gates open, I think I read at 6 o', clock, right?
Brian McCann
Yep.
Burt Burch
And then there's the home run derby
Brian McCann
at 6:30, and then the game starts at 7. Okay.
Burt Burch
And you can get all the information up Online right now at q100atlanta.com is
Radio Host Burt
10 bucks a person. 10 bucks a person.
Burt Burch
Again, 10 bucks a person. Am I missing anything here?
Brian McCann
That's it. That's good.
Burt Burch
Cool. We'll see you on Friday night, man.
Brian McCann
Absolutely.
Burt Burch
And I will work on that pitch. Someday it will be you and I, friend.
Caller Carter
Awesome.
Burt Burch
It will be right here. Thank you.
Brian McCann
The Burch show. This is the Burch show.
Burt Burch
All right, let me ask you all a question, and I'm not sure that we're gonna get any calls on this whatsoever, but this was based off of Kerri Prejean. Is that how you pronounce her name? She Is the former Miss California in all sorts of controversy right now? Right?
Sean Hennig
Well, I mean, definitely right now. But you know what? I'll. Because she took a stand against same sex marriage in the pageant. Then didn't win the pageant, blamed it on her answer. And then was in the headlines for a while. She also had, like, nude photographs that came out when she said she wasn't posing topless, that the wind blew her shirt open. Then now there is a sex tape of her by herself. That she sent to a boyfriend when she was 17. And there's all kinds of dramas with this lawsuit with the Miss USA pageant.
Caller Lisa
So it's.
Sean Hennig
So it's all back and forth. And she has a book out. So she's been doing the media circuit to try to promote this book.
Burt Burch
Here's what we know over the last couple of days. And here's where I'm going with this. So, as it's been reported, the California pageant wants their money back. They invested a lot of money on Carrie Prejean. And they feel that she sort of, like, breached her contract. So they're looking for some money back. I think they paid for breasts for her. And they're looking to get that money back. And some other stuff. Also, she doesn't want to pay it. So as it's been told, she and her counsel, including her mother. Were in an attorney's office with the California pageant officials also the other day. And they were starting to negotiate some kind of settlement. And the pageant people get really cruel about it. This is how we found out about the tape. And they say, we really think that you ought to just go away. And probably not ask us for any more money. And Kerry's like, no, you know, no, no, no, no, no. I'm not giving you any of your money back. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. So they put the tape in of Carrie taking care of herself. In this quote, unquote, sex tape. Her mom is in the room. The pageant people never warn them what's coming up. So they put the tape in, they hit play. And there's Carrie taking care of herself for her mom to see.
Sean Hennig
Horrible.
Radio Host Burt
Hi, Mom.
Burt Burch
So here's what I was gonna ask you guys. Have you ever accidentally seen a video of your parents doing this? Or have your parents ever accidentally checked out your video that you've done this in? 404-741-Q100. So you might have taped over some random movie. And your parents put it into, you know, VCR or whatever or dvd. And they caught a glimpse of the first couple of seconds of you and whoever.
Melissa
Well, don't look at me. Millie Pete, 80 years old.
Burt Burch
I couldn't imagine it was millipede.
Melissa
If it used to videotape, it would have been the spotlight camera.
Radio Host Burt
Yeah,
Melissa
yeah. So no, I never saw a videotape of Millie pete doing it.
Burt Burch
404,741 q100. But it would only probably last for like 3 seconds. Like they would see it and turn it off and certainly not watch the whole thing. But she details exactly what was in this video. That hurt. Keep in mind, her mom saw this.
Kerri Prejean
I was alone, sending it to my boyfriend who I cared about and loved about at the time. When you're young, you think, you know, this is the one. And you know, never did I think it would come and just slap me right in the face.
Burt Burch
So what happened? So this was a relationship with a boyfriend. This is not a sex tape. When we hear the word sex tape, this is not anything like some of the ones we've heard about.
Caller Jesse
This is.
Burt Burch
You were sending video of yourself to your boyfriend.
Kerri Prejean
Right. I was all by myself and a boyfriend you love. Right. And no one was in the room with me. I was not having sex with anybody.
Sean Hennig
Unbiased reporting by Sean Hennig.
Burt Burch
But keep in mind, again, her mom is taking a look at this. Her mom saw the first couple of seconds of that.
Sean Hennig
God, that's awful.
Burt Burch
Terrible.
Sean Hennig
Even though I hate her, I do feel bad that her mom saw that.
Melissa
Oh my God.
Burt Burch
Yeah, Brittany hung up there, but she found a video of her parents on her computer.
Caller Lisa
Oh,
Sean Hennig
yeah.
Melissa
Oh my God.
Radio Host Burt
How's that happen?
Burt Burch
Here's Jesse. Good morning. You're on Q100.
Caller Lainey
Yeah, I was about probably seven and I stayed at home from school. And you know when you're at home you play with like checkbooks and pretend to be banking. And I was looking under my parents dresser and I found a videotape. And you turn it on and it was first us shopping for a Christmas tree and then all of a sudden it turns into like this disgusting 1970s. My mom was in a nightie
Caller Jesse
and
Caller Lainey
no, this is worse. My father had on one of those elephant trunk underwear.
Burt Burch
Oh, no.
Melissa
That image will stay with you for the rest of your life. And you were, and you were seven.
Caller Lainey
Yeah, I was seven years old.
Melissa
Oh my gosh.
Caller Lainey
And I think it came out when I was about 10 because I, I, I, I don't know. My babysitter, I think I showed it
Burt Burch
to my babysitter and again, it was taped over.
Caller Lainey
What we were all, as a nice little happy family, Christmas shopping For a Christmas tree.
Burt Burch
And then it goes to that real snowy sh. And then there's your mom and your dad.
Caller Lainey
I was even smoking a cigarette, and she had never smoked my day in my life.
Reshma
It was.
Melissa
That is fantastic.
Reshma
Yeah.
Radio Host Burt
Just so you know, nothing good is ever kept under the dresser.
Burt Burch
Thank you for calling, Jesse. Appreciate it.
Radio Host Burt
Under there. It should stay under there.
Sean Hennig
I love it that she kept the secret for three years and then showed her babysitter.
Burt Burch
Look what I found. The fact that dad is there with the elephant. Oh, God. Hey, Katie. Good Morning. You're on Q100. Hi.
Caller Lainey
Hey. I have a story. My friend, when we were in seventh grade, she calls me late at night one night, and she's like, you're not gonna believe what I found in my parents closet. And then the next day, she brings in pictures of them to school.
Burt Burch
Oh, no.
Melissa
Oh, God.
Caller Lainey
She passed them around to, like, all this big group of girls, and everybody knew about it.
Burt Burch
Oh, no. That sucks. And she's how old at the time?
Caller Lainey
She was in seventh grade. So I guess we're like, what, 14?
Melissa
That's funny. That's funny.
Burt Burch
Good morning, Brandon. You're on Q100. Hi.
Caller Jesse
Hey, Burchell. How are you?
Burt Burch
Good, man. How are you?
Caller Jesse
Good. Yeah. So my stepdad actually had a collection of videos hidden in a suitcase under his bed. So me and my brothers all knew about this collection, so we'd sneak in there when they were gone. And my parents were gone one day. So I went in there and grabbed a video, put it in, and it started out to be another video that he had under the bed. And I was like, this is strange. Why does he have two copies of the same video? And all of a sudden, the camera turns to my stepdad on the couch, pleasuring himself and talking to my mom.
Burt Burch
Oh, no, dude, no.
Sean Hennig
That is a pride on your brain.
Burt Burch
I feel so bad for you.
Caller Jesse
Yeah, I was, you know, getting into it, and then my eyes burned out of my head, and I ran up and grabbed the tape out of the vcr.
Burt Burch
Oh, God.
Reshma
No, no, no.
Sean Hennig
It was almost like a mirror.
Caller Jesse
Yeah.
Burt Burch
Oh, no. Yeah, I got you.
Radio Host Burt
Jen keeps explaining it. So it was just him right there. There he was. All of his glory.
Melissa
That's messed up.
Radio Host Burt
Playing with his wiffle balls.
Burt Burch
Hey, Amy. Good morning, unhittable.
Caller Lainey
Hey.
Burt Burch
Hi.
Caller Lainey
I didn't actually find a video, but when I was about 15, I came across a picture of my mother taking care of business with a fruit.
Burt Burch
Crap.
Caller Lainey
Yeah. It was traumatizing.
Melissa
Please tell me, can I eat that fruit? Can I eat that fruit anymore.
Burt Burch
No, no, no, I'm not gonna be.
Melissa
Shopping is a pleasure. Takes a whole new meaning.
Brian McCann
It's the vert show. It's the vert show.
Burt Burch
All right, so check this out. This is the news story. First I'll play the news clip and then I'll play about a minute of her interview on the Today show yesterday. But Lauren Johnson, about two weeks ago, I think, just started sneezing. Poor little thing. I mean, you're gonna hear it right through both of these pieces.
Melissa
It freaks me out when people like I'm a one time sneezer. I mean the average person, it kind of freaks me out when you're that multiple, when you do two or three in a row. So, you know, that kind of is fascinating to me. But if you did it constantly for
Burt Burch
two weeks, it's exhausting.
Melissa
Yeah.
Lauren Johnson Narrator
At first glance, Lauren Johnson is your typical 12 year old. But sit with Lauren for more than two seconds and you quickly learn she's unique.
Caller Lisa
I can't stop sneezing. It's about. It goes off about eight to nine times a minute.
Lauren Johnson Narrator
On a regular day, the sixth grader can sneeze more than 12,000 times.
Burt Burch
You want to laugh if it's not so sad.
Caller Lisa
It was different. And I just kind of got along with it, thinking that it wouldn't last as long.
Burt Burch
I know you try not to laugh, right? And we haven't edited this in any way, shape or form. Poor little thing, can't stop.
Caller Lisa
It's been two weeks now, and this is the most amazing thing.
Lauren Johnson Narrator
Lauren learned to adapt. She says sometimes she has no clue she's sneezing at all. But still, all she wants is to be a normal 12 year old again,
Caller Lisa
just for sneezing to stop. I mean, I feel fine now, but it's just the sneezing going on and on and on.
Lauren Johnson Narrator
Doctors say what's happening to her is so rare. She has a better chance of winning the lottery three times in the same year than having this mysterious chronic sneeze
Melissa
comes out with that statistic.
Burt Burch
I know, right?
Melissa
Seriously, did somebody actually research that?
Burt Burch
Probably 1 in 75 million, right?
Melissa
It's not just winning the lottery, it's winning the lottery three times. Three times in one year. That poor thing. That's a awful sneeze too. That's like it's not a little lemme
Radio Host Burt
sneeze because I get weirded out by silent sneezers.
Sean Hennig
And what if you felt like you had to say God bless you every time?
Burt Burch
That's all you would do all day. Somebody tell me a long time ago, like, if you hold in your sneeze, sneeze, somehow, some way your spinal cord can get wrapped up or something like that. Like when I was like 6 years old or something.
Melissa
Yeah. That's why.
Burt Burch
So then she goes on the Today show to talk about it. Poor little same thing. And you want. You gotta hold back laughing about it because it's just over and over and over again.
Caller Carter
Something like five sneezes a minute to maybe more than that. Maybe even 10, 20 sometimes.
Sean Hennig
Yes.
Caller Carter
And so the average is a.
Burt Burch
Is.
Caller Carter
You know, you have an average of that, but then that kind of accumulates something like 10,000, 12,000 sneezes a day every week. This is miserable.
Caller Lisa
Yeah.
Caller Carter
Yeah. Would you say it's been pretty miserable?
Caller Lisa
Yeah.
Caller Carter
Yeah. You've not been able to go to school?
Caller Lainey
No.
Caller Lisa
It's a little too destructive in the classroom. Hard to focus
Caller Carter
more versus sneezing more.
Burt Burch
No.
Caller Carter
It sounds like there's some worry that maybe something might have happened to make you want to sneeze. Is there anything that you can think of that happened to you that made you emotional about something?
Caller Lisa
Nothing. Schools are going great. Everything's been doing fine. I can't think of anything.
Caller Carter
I can't think of anything.
Burt Burch
Melissa and Wendy over here are laughing.
Caller Lainey
I feel bad when it's one of the.
Melissa
Those sneezes that would get all over you, the hiccups. I mean, we've heard people with hiccups over and over again, but come on. I would be in the class getting tickled at her doing it all the time. I feel bad for her.
Caller Carter
She can't eat.
Melissa
I mean, it's all I can help her.
Burt Burch
Patrick doesn't even believe it's real. I don't think. Hey, Patrick.
Caller Jesse
Hey, Good morning. Yeah. If you watched Today show clip yesterday, you can see that she does not sneeze out of her nose. She sneezes out of her mouth, and she doesn't close her eyes. So it's not a real sneeze. I don't believe. I think it's a nervous tic.
Melissa
Oh, I see. Yeah. Because you're. There's too much pressure on your eyes, and that's why you automatically close your eyes when you sneeze.
Radio Host Burt
If you don't, your spine wraps up and you have a heart attack.
Caller Jesse
Well, I mean, there was some, I don't know, study test or whatever. Don. That everyone tried to not close their eyes and they sneezed and they couldn't do it.
Melissa
Yeah.
Burt Burch
Oh, really? So maybe it's just some kind of nervous tic type thing.
Sean Hennig
It's the worst when you're in your car and you have to sneeze. Oh yeah, because you're driving, you're on the highway and you're panicked. There's no way. You cannot close your eyes.
Burt Burch
Right. Well, that's been going on for two weeks for her right now. So they're still trying to figure out exactly how to, how to get her some help.
Caller Carter
Something like five sneezes a minute to maybe more than that. Maybe even 10:20 sometimes.
Melissa
Yes.
Caller Carter
And so the average is.
Burt Burch
Carter, why are you laughing like that?
Caller Carter
But then that kind of accumulates something like 10,000 thousand. 12,000 sneezes a day every week is miserable.
Melissa
Poor thing.
Caller Carter
Yeah. Would you say it's been pretty miserable?
Radio Host Burt
You know, Melissa, when you do your 8:30 newscast, I want you to sneeze
Brian McCann
the whole way through. It's the vert show.
This energetic episode of The Bert Show brings an authentic mix of hilarious sibling rivalry stories, a major-leaguer Wiffle ball showdown (sort of), embarrassing accidental discoveries of family “private” tapes, and a news story on a girl who can’t stop sneezing. With their trademark blend of humor and relatability, the cast keeps things lively as listeners call in with stories and special guest Brian McCann joins the fun.
Timestamps: 00:47–09:24
Intern Reshma’s Family Pranks:
Reshma shares a childhood story about telling her younger sister she was adopted, taking the classic older sibling prank to extremes:
“I told my sister when I believe I was seven, she was five ... that she was adopted because she does look different than the rest of my family.” – Reshma (02:35)
She kept the joke secret for seven years until her sister, in tears at age 11, finally confronted their mother.
“My sister thought she was adopted for seven years ... and it was completely worth it.” – Reshma (06:18)
Others Chime In:
Co-host Melissa reveals she was subject to the same prank as a child, reinforcing how widespread—and scarring—this sibling tactic can be.
“My sister did the exact same thing to me, about the exact same age ... She said, ‘Look in the mirror. Look at you. You don’t look like us.’” – Melissa (03:33)
Callers Share Their Experiences:
Listeners call in with twists on the theme: one even recounts how a mother (not a sibling) played along with the adoption prank, leaving lasting emotional impact.
“My mom actually did [the adoption prank] ... my sister went to school crying one day.” – Caller Lainey (06:43)
Others flipped the script, taunting their biological sibling for not being "special" like the adopted kids.
Timestamps: 09:25–22:53
The Wiffle Ball Challenge:
Bert recounts his college days, claiming to have had an “unhittable” Wiffle ball pitch. With MLB star Brian McCann in-studio, Bert is eager to see if the legend holds up.
Epic Preparations (and Letdown):
Bert details a quest across multiple sporting goods stores to find the “right” Wiffle ball, revealing a mix of nostalgia and self-awareness:
“I am aware of how pathetic the story is. ... I bought 15 wiffle balls ... and I can’t find the pitch.” – Burt Burch (16:51–17:37)
Despite all efforts, Bert confesses the magical pitch is lost to time, but McCann promises to face him if it ever returns.
“If I find it, do I have a shot to throw it against you?” – Burt (18:49)
“Absolutely. We’ll set it up.” – Brian McCann (18:52)
Promotion of Rally Foundation Softball Game:
Brian plugs an upcoming celebrity charity game for childhood cancer research, billing a Home Run Derby with Chipper Jones and other big names.
“It’s just a great cause, and you get to meet these kids and they melt your heart.” – Brian McCann (19:42)
Timestamps: 22:58–31:09
The Carrie Prejean Incident:
Discussion turns to former Miss California’s ongoing controversies, especially an allegedly accidental airing of her private tape—with her mother present:
“They put the tape in ... her mom is in the room. The pageant people never warn them what’s coming up.” – Burt Burch (25:11)
Have You Ever?—Listener Stories:
The cast invites callers to share their own accidental experiences with family sex tapes or explicit content.
Hilarious and embarrassing stories follow:
Timestamps: 31:14–36:18
Lauren Johnson’s Bizarre Medical Mystery:
The cast plays a news clip about 12-year-old Lauren Johnson, who sneezed “8–9 times a minute ... over 12,000 times a day” for two weeks.
“You want to laugh if it’s not so sad.” – Burt Burch (32:09)
Medical Perspective & Skepticism:
Some voice skepticism, suggesting it might be a nervous tic because she sneezes with her eyes open and out of her mouth (35:05).
“If you watched the Today show clip ... she does not sneeze out of her nose. She sneezes out of her mouth and she doesn’t close her eyes.” – Caller Patrick (35:05)
Empathy and Humor:
Co-hosts try to stifle laughter, illustrating the delicate balance between sympathy and comic relief.
| Quote | Speaker | Timestamp | |-------|---------|-----------| | “My sister thought she was adopted for seven years ... completely worth it.” | Reshma | 06:18 | | “You trust your older siblings to take care of you and protect you ... I empathize with all the younger siblings out there that get picked on.” | Melissa | 09:59 | | “I am aware of how pathetic the story is. ... I bought 15 wiffle balls ... and I can’t find the pitch.” | Burt Burch | 16:51–17:37 | | “This is bragging rights for 162 games.” | Brian McCann | 22:04 | | “Nothing good is ever kept under the dresser.” | Radio Host Burt | 28:29 |
For more laughter, listener drama, and authentic conversations, check back daily for new episodes with the whole Bert Show cast!