The Bert Show – Full Show PT 3: Wednesday, May 6 [Vault]
Podcast Date: May 6, 2026
Main Cast: Bert, Kristin, Abby, Cassie, Tommy, and the whole Bert Show crew
Episode Overview
In this episode, The Bert Show crew dives into several engaging and relatable topics: privacy concerns in women's restrooms amid hidden camera scares, the drama and humor of selecting house paint colors with a partner, producer Joanna’s wild quest to snag an A-list celebrity guest, and a heated listener HR dilemma about workplace honesty and bias. As always, the cast delivers authentic perspectives, plenty of laughs, and memorable, candid moments.
Key Discussion Points & Insights
1. Hidden Cameras and Women's Restroom Safety
Timestamps: 00:30 – 06:50
- Background: Mention of the Erin Andrews case and growing anxiety around hidden cameras invading privacy in restrooms and dressing rooms.
- Listener Tips: Callers and cast recall advice about checking vents, ceiling tiles, and behind mirrors for hidden cameras.
- Notable Example: A listener once said to check tanning bed fans and dressing room mirrors for hidden devices.
- On-Air Investigation: Melissa recounts noticing a moved ceiling tile in their own office bathroom and, with Carl’s help, checks it for cameras (finding nothing but sparking a lot of paranoia and laughter).
- Sprinkler Head Concerns: Brief debate if sprinkler heads can or have been used to hide cameras.
- Memorable Quote:
- Jeff: "That's enough to freak you out. To totally, totally freak you out." (05:04)
Discussion About Women's Restroom Trash Cans
- Timestamps: 06:50 – 07:45
- The male hosts learn about the wall-mounted boxes for feminine hygiene products in women's stalls, sparking surprise and a few awkwardly funny comparisons ("Is it like a sharps container?").
- Melissa explains, “It's a steel box,” and Jeff admits he never really understood what the boxes were for.
- Joanna: "Some of them have them. Some of them do not. … That’s male managers not planning for the women." (07:26)
Creepy Store Experience
- Timestamps: 07:29 – 08:50
- Caller Kat tells how a woman at Michaels caught a man trying to look up her skirt with a mirror—highlighting the persistence of this problem and the need for vigilance.
2. Dilemmas & Drama: Partner Paint Color Wars
Timestamps: 10:00 – 18:27
- Birch’s Home Renovation Saga: House is getting painted due to roof leaks and insurance, leading to an epic standoff between him and Jessica over who gets to pick paint colors.
- Division of Labor: Melissa shares how splitting rooms by responsibility avoids conflict.
- Group Debate:
- Risk of choosing before your spouse returns ("If you go ahead and pick the paint without running it by her … just on principle alone, she's not going to like the color." – Jeff, 12:33)
- Role Reversal: Joanna predicts that if roles were reversed, even a good choice would cause initial conflict.
- Quote:
- Birch: "The problem is, Bert, what's the difference between thundercloud gray and field mouse gray? You can't tell." (18:06)
- Caller Solutions:
- Charity calls in, suggesting: "He went out and picked three, I picked my three, we commented on each other's and then I got the final decision." (18:29)
3. Producer Joanna’s Celebrity Hunt
Timestamps: 21:25 – 32:36
- Self-Inflicted Challenge: Joanna vows to score an interview with Jamie Foxx, Josh Duhamel, or Katherine Heigl—who are filming in Atlanta.
- Adventures & Near Misses: She chases down leads at CNN Center and Buckhead bars, only to miss Josh Duhamel by minutes.
- Listener Tip Pays Off: Finally, her friend spots Josh Duhamel at Tin Lizzy's; after a mad dash from a family funeral (still in conservative dress), Joanna arrives and buys Duhamel and table six shots.
- Her Pitch: She boldly introduces herself and pitches the show. Duhamel is gracious and gives a tentative yes.
- Memorable Quotes:
- Joanna: "I'm sitting… I could have spit at him I was sitting so close." (25:57)
- Joanna on nerves: "My sweat glands were in overdrive. I can't believe I was… I was shaky. I've never been that [nervous]." (32:18)
- Birch, on buying six shots: “Then I think I went and got in the shower or something. Then I got out and said, okay, you need to reimburse me for six shots.” (28:38)
- Resolution: Josh says he’s heard of the show and may come on this week.
- Audience Question: How attractive is Josh Duhamel in person?
- Joanna: “He is so hot. He really is. He’s such a good-looking guy.” (31:59)
- Jeff: “He’s just one of those guys that would take a movie role to be ugly because he’s so good-looking and couldn’t pull it off because he’s that good looking." (32:04)
4. Workplace Ethics: The Fake Engagement Ring Firing
Timestamps: 32:36 – 44:42
- Sheila’s Dilemma Recap: Sheila, an employer, hired someone wearing an engagement ring. The new hire later admits she wore it to appear more "hirable" and was never actually engaged.
- Sheila Fires Employee: Sheila justifies her firing as a breach of trust (for “misrepresenting” herself in the interview), though the real motivation is revealed as discomfort having single women in the office (her husband works there).
- Legal & Ethical Debate:
- Cast and callers challenge Sheila—pointing out the thin legal ground for firing and the discrimination in not hiring single women.
- Lawyer Lisa calls in to clarify: Georgia is an “at-will” state, but when Sheila gave the real reason, she created grounds for a lawsuit.
- Notable Quotes:
- Birch: "You can wear a ring, and you're left ring finger for any one of a million reasons." (34:47)
- Jeff: "If I've never bought this whole I trust you, I just don’t trust other women thing, I’ve never… I thought that’s just a cop out." (38:49)
- Lightly Touching on the Nanny Analogy: Melissa compares it to families not wanting to hire attractive, young nannies ("Is it any different?").
- Legal Consequences:
- Lisa: "If she [the employee] is smart, she'd go see a lawyer first thing this morning." (43:52)
- Joanna wonders: "I wonder if the Birch show tapes would be subpoenaed." (44:00)
- Birch: "What are we seeing here? Start lying, people." (tongue firmly in cheek, 43:03)
Memorable Quotes & Moments with Timestamps
- "That's enough to freak you out. To totally, totally freak you out." – Jeff (05:04)
- "Is it like a sharps container at a hospital?" – Birch, on mystery restroom bins (06:14)
- "The problem is, Bert, what's the difference between thundercloud gray and field mouse gray? You can't tell." – Birch (18:06)
- "My sweat glands were in overdrive. I can't believe I was… I was shaky. I've never been that nervous." – Joanna (32:18)
- "You can wear a ring, and you're left ring finger for any one of a million reasons." – Birch (34:47)
- "What are we seeing here? Start lying, people." – Birch (facetiously) (43:03)
- Legal advice: "If she [the employee] is smart, she'd go see a lawyer first thing this morning." – Lisa, caller & lawyer (43:52)
Summary Table: Major Segments & Timestamps
| Topic | Cast/Callers Involved | Timestamps |
|--------------------------------------|-----------------------------|------------|
| Hidden camera paranoia in restrooms | Melissa, Joanna, Jeff, Carl | 00:30–06:50|
| Restroom feminine product bins | Jeff, Melissa, Joanna | 06:50–07:45|
| Public mirror voyeurism story | Kat (Caller), Birch | 07:29–08:50|
| House paint color standoffs | Birch, Jessica, Jeff, Melissa, Joanna | 10:00–18:27|
| Celebrity chase: Josh Duhamel quest | Joanna, Jeff, Melissa, listeners | 21:25–32:36|
| Employee fired over fake engagement | Sheila (Caller), Lisa (Lawyer), Cast, Mike (caller) | 32:36–44:42|
Tone & Style
- Authentic & Unfiltered: Hosts maintain their trademark blend of humor, curiosity, and candor, even during heavier topics.
- Engaging & Fun: Light teasing among cast members and willingness to share personal mishaps give it a morning show, relatable vibe.
- Supportive Community: Callers share personal stories, legal advice, and solutions with real impact.
Final Takeaway
This Bert Show episode is a prime example of why loyal listeners tune in: real talk about everyday anxieties (from domestic disputes over paint to privacy at work and in public), comic honesty about personal flaws, and that unvarnished, supportive group dynamic. The segment on hidden cameras cleverly segues into quirky debates about home improvement and an epic celebrity chase, before tackling the serious implications of honesty—and dishonesty—in the workplace.
Whether you're looking for advice, a laugh, or just to feel less alone in life's messy moments, this episode has you covered.