Full Show PT 3: Wednesday, October 29 [Vault]

Summary

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The Bert Show – Full Show PT 3: Wednesday, October 29 [Vault]

Date: October 29, 2025
Podcast Host: Bert and the Bert Show Cast (featuring Jeff, Knox, Tracy, and guests)

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Episode Overview

This episode of The Bert Show blends celebrity interviews, listener drama, and signature comedic moments. Listeners are treated to candid chats with Tara Reid, Gwen Stefani, and Vanessa Carlton, plus a jaw-dropping mother-daughter confrontation and the show's hilariously chaotic attempt at picking lottery numbers. As always, the cast’s realness, humor, and unserious approach to morning woes shine throughout.

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Main Segments and Key Discussion Points

1. Interview with Tara Reid: Celebrity Image, Misconceptions, and Media Scrutiny

[01:49 – 08:27]

• Debunking the "Party Girl" Stereotype:
  The show welcomes Tara Reid, known for her role in "Van Wilder," to tackle tabloid-driven rumors. She pushes back against her image as Hollywood’s ultimate party girl, clarifying that her lifestyle is more “work hard, play sometimes—but not all night.”

  • Notable quote:
    "Absolutely. I mean, don’t get me wrong, when I like to go out … I like to have fun, but it’s not every night. And it’s definitely not until 4 in the morning." – Tara Reid (02:49)

• Press and Public Perceptions:
  Tara laments being a media “target”—especially for gossipy coverage involving other celebs, like Britney Spears—and explains how relentless coverage has made partying in public almost impossible.

  • Quote:
    "No way. I’m actually in New York right now too." – Tara Reid, countering the “Hollywood all-night party” narrative (02:40)

  • “You always feel like there's a camera there just waiting to be snapped at you.” – Bert (05:43)

  • "Exactly." – Tara Reid

• Choosing Movie Roles:
  Tara discusses her project selection process, noting that she chooses scripts based on quality, not genre, and lately comedies have offered her the best roles.

  • Quote:
    "Just lately it just happens to be that the comedies have been the best movies that I’ve read and that’s … I’ve been going that way.” – Tara Reid (07:55)

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2. Gwen Stefani Interview: Self-Critique, Staying Genuine, and Tour Stories

[08:34 – 13:22]

• On Creative Process and Perfectionism:
  Gwen talks about listening to her own music, being her own harshest critic, and knowing when a song is finished.

  • Quote:
    "I listen to the words … if it could have been clearer … that’s what I listen to.” – Gwen Stefani (09:04)

• Party Image in the Music Industry:
  Gwen demystifies her own industry persona, saying she doesn’t party, nor does she care about fitting industry stereotypes.

  • Quote:
    "I do me, you know, I don’t care. … That’s not my thing. I don’t like the crystal, all that. Come on, man. I’m just not." (10:26)

• Radio Tour Woes & Airport Security:
  Shares humorous complaints about airline travel during radio press tours, especially being constantly flagged for having one-way tickets.

  • Quote:
    “We always get stopped because we usually have one-way tickets.” – Gwen Stefani (10:55)

• Fun Moment – The ‘Posse Guy’ Bit:
  Jeff auditions (badly) for Gwen—with mock-rap interjection, much laughter, amusing the studio and Gwen herself.

  • Quote:
    "He is crazy … hilarious" – Gwen Stefani (13:01)

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3. Listener Drama: The Flirty Mom & Furious Daughter Confrontation

[15:45 – 24:31]

• Scenario Setup:
  A college-age daughter, back home for summer, is embarrassed by her 40-year-old mom flirting with her (and her friends—even dating one of them, Dylan).

• On-air Revelation:
  In a tense live call, the mother admits not only to flirting but to going on a date, and even sleeping, with her daughter’s friend. The exchange escalates into accusations, hurt, and a raw emotional fallout.

  • Notable quotes:
    "Not only did I go on a date with one of your friends ... I went on a date with Dylan and we even had sex." – Mom (Michelle) (20:23, 20:31)
    "Oh my God, that's..." – Daughter (20:34)
    "If what you're saying is true ... you're just a pig." – Daughter (21:20)
    "I do feel good about myself." – Mom, showing no remorse (22:11)

• Cast Intervention:
  The Bert Show’s hosts try to mediate but mostly express horror and empathy for the devastated daughter.

  • Quote:
    "I hope you realize that this is the worst day of your daughter's life. And it will be so for the rest of her life." – Bert (24:04)

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4. Interview with Vanessa Carlton: Roots, "A Thousand Miles," and the "Beef Commercial" Debate

[25:12 – 32:28]

• Hometown and Upbringing:
  Vanessa shares about growing up in a small Pennsylvania town, yearning for the big city, her early passion for ballet, and never losing her love for her roots.

  • Quote:
    "I actually started, like, driving into the city when I was … in seventh grade ... I was studying to be a ballet dancer..." (27:01)

• MTV Moment:
  Vanessa describes the surreal feeling of seeing her music videos on TV for the first time.

  • Quote:
    "I always see it out of, like, the little windows between my fingers ... it's so strange, like, I'm giggling and ... I can't really look at it..." (28:54)

• “A Thousand Miles” & The Beef Strings Debate:
  Jeff obsessively presses Vanessa about the similarity between the strings in her song and an Aaron Copland commercial for beef, refusing to let the (wrong) point go.

  • Quote:
    "This part ... is that a sample of a beef commercial?" – Jeff (29:48)
    "No, I don't eat beef. Let's lay down the line. I don't eat beef." – Vanessa (30:52)
    "A Thousand Miles ... really, I have to say, has nothing to do with beef." – Vanessa (31:04)

• Jeff Sent to Penalty Box:
  Jeff’s persistence irritates everyone to the point where he’s “benched” for five minutes for being obnoxious.

  • Quote:
    "Mike off. For the next five minutes being obnoxious to a guest. Bye. Bye, Jeff." – Bert (32:03)

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5. Bert Show Picks the Lottery Numbers—The Industrial Dryer Stunt

[32:28 – 38:30]

• Premise:
  The team’s plan to “scientifically” pick winning lottery numbers involves stuffing Phil, a new team member, into an industrial dryer with ping-pong balls. The segment is pure slapstick with the crew riffing nonstop.

  • Key exchanges:
    • "You are now inside the industrial dryer with door closed, correct?" (34:33)
    • "My neck, when it breaks." – Phil, mid-stunt (33:51)

• Chosen Numbers:
  The segment ends with the “winning” lotto numbers: 7, 20, 24, 26, 29, and Powerball 23.

• Classic Bert Show Banter:
  The hosts riff on the ridiculousness of their method and the bewilderment of the laundromat owner.

  • Quote:
    "He was sitting inside. That's why I'm worried." – Nick, laundromat owner (37:57)

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments (with Timestamps)

• "Absolutely. ... it's not every night. And it's definitely not until 4 in the morning."
  — Tara Reid on the party girl image (02:49)

• "You always feel like there's a camera there just waiting to be snapped at you."
  — Bert (05:43)

• "We always get stopped because we usually have one-way tickets."
  — Gwen Stefani, on touring (10:55)

• "Not only did I go on a date with one of your friends ... I went on a date with Dylan and we even had sex."
  — Michelle (Mom) (20:23, 20:31)

• "Beef. It's what's for dinner."
  — Jeff’s refrain, needling Vanessa Carlton about her song (31:26)

• "I always see it out of, like, the little windows between my fingers ... it's so strange ..."
  — Vanessa Carlton on seeing her music video (28:54)

• "Mike off. For the next five minutes being obnoxious to a guest. Bye. Bye, Jeff."
  — Bert (32:03)

• Lottery numbers selected: 7, 20, 24, 26, 29, Powerball 23
  — via industrial dryer experiment (38:12)

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Episode Structure – Key Timestamps

| Time | Segment | |-------------|----------------------------------------------------| | 01:49 | Tara Reid Interview begins | | 08:34 | Gwen Stefani Interview follows | | 15:45 | Flirty Mom/Daughter Listener Drama | | 25:12 | Vanessa Carlton Interview | | 32:28 | Bert Show Lotto Stunt | | 39:42 | Episode closes / ads begin |

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Takeaways

• The Bert Show remains a lively blend of real talk, celebrity access, and off-the-wall humor.
• Listeners have a front row seat to celebrity myth-busting, family drama, and show-produced mayhem.
• Authenticity, willingness to tackle awkwardness, and unfiltered banter with guests and each other are hallmarks of the show.

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For more, visit thebertshow.com or call 1-855-BertShow to be part of their daily radio shenanigans.

Transcript

[Knox]

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[Podcast Host (possibly Jamie)]

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[Burt Show Host]

This is the Burt Show. She's got the reputation as one of Hollywood's biggest partiers. But she told us in this interview that that's just not the case. Here's Tara Reid on the Burch. How are ya?

[Michelle (Mom)]

Good.

[Shelly (Daughter)]

How you doing?

[Burt Show Host]

Doing good. Now let me ask you this about your voice. Cause it sounds to me like you've been up all night smoking, drinking and yelling. But your voice is really sort of close to this all the time, so you can't really tell if you're sick or it's just kind of hoarse.

[Shelly (Daughter)]

Yeah, exactly. Well, no, it's. It's a little more rafty right now than normal.

[Jeff]

What time do you. What time did you go to bed last night?

[Shelly (Daughter)]

Pretty early because we've been doing all this press stuff, so I was probably in bed by like 11 maybe. I had to get out this morning. I think like 4:30 or something.

[Jeff]

Oof.

[Burt Show Host]

See, now the big, you know, image that has been created for Tara Reid is that she never gets to sleep before midnight. You must have been up until 4:30 in the morning partying around Hollywood.

[Shelly (Daughter)]

No way. I'm actually in New York right now too.

[Burt Show Host]

Is that the biggest misconception about you is that you're not as big the party girl as most are making you out to be?

[Shelly (Daughter)]

Absolutely. I mean, don't get me wrong, when I, you know, when I like to go out with my friends and have fun, I like to have fun, but it's not every night. And it's definitely not until 4 in the morning.

[Co-host or Producer]

Now, even in Maxim magazine, they put a quote from you that you like to party hard, but they totally left out the part where you said you like to work hard as well.

[Shelly (Daughter)]

Exactly. See, you know, that's the kind of girl I like. See, she reads the whole thing, you know.

[Burt Show Host]

Well, I've got the magazine. I just didn't read the article. You look great.

[Shelly (Daughter)]

It's a really good article. You should read it. You learn something.

[Burt Show Host]

I really have to. You look. Now, weren't you the first celebrity to be in Maxim twice? Yeah, I've got my Maxim fags down.

[Shelly (Daughter)]

You got them down?

[Burt Show Host]

Yeah, I do. Tell us about doing the pictorial for Maxim. Is that something, something you're comfortable doing or did they have to push you in?

[Shelly (Daughter)]

You know what, Actually it was a really great photographer. It was a woman, so I've shot there before. And, you know, so I was comfortable with her. So it was cool. And you know, the people I've worked with, I've known, you know, the people at Maximum for a while, and they're really cool.

[Jeff]

Do they let you have a look at all the pictures they take and let you pick out the ones you want in the magazine or once they're on film, they're on film and you're out of control.

[Shelly (Daughter)]

Once they're on film, you're not in control. I wish.

[Jeff]

So do you ever get the Magazine. Like. Like the day comes out or when you get the advance copy, do you rush out and buy it and look through and go, I can't believe they use that one. That sucks.

[Shelly (Daughter)]

I get it. Like, they'll send it to me, like, maybe, like, the day before it goes on the stand. So there's, like, nothing you could do if you don't like it or not.

[Jeff]

Right out of the April issue. Which. Which picture do you hate the most?

[Shelly (Daughter)]

Probably the COVID actually.

[Podcast Host (possibly Jamie)]

Really?

[Shelly (Daughter)]

The COVID I like the one inside the most. Like, with the white top on.

[Burt Show Host]

Mm, I know that one.

[Jeff]

Yeah. I'm doing some research on that right now.

[Burt Show Host]

There it is. How much airbrushing has done?

[Shelly (Daughter)]

Believe it or not, I was lucky. Not too much on that one. I was tan. I just came back from Mexico on that one, so I was so tan on it.

[Burt Show Host]

So you're feeling pretty good about yourself on that one?

[Tracy or another female caller]

Yes.

[Shelly (Daughter)]

In Mexico, you can't eat too much, so.

[Burt Show Host]

Right. We're talking to.

[Shelly (Daughter)]

Tara's a little dangerous, you know, so it's a good place.

[Burt Show Host]

Talking to Tara Reid, who's got a new movie coming out called Van Wilder, which we'll talk about here in about one second.

[Co-host or Producer]

Now every time I pick up, you know, like, a New York Post, honestly, Tara, you're all over it. All over it.

[Michelle (Mom)]

I know.

[Shelly (Daughter)]

It sucks.

[Co-host or Producer]

Why are they targeting you so much? I mean, from the stuff with Lizzie Grubman to even the Hilton girls, and just. You're so adorable, you know?

[Shelly (Daughter)]

I don't know. I wish I could answer you that question, you know, I wish. I wish I knew the answer. You know, it's frustrating, but I think, like, you know, they get targets, you know, and I just happen to be one of the targets. Like, the media, kind of. I think every once in a while, I, like, just wants someone. And I was the one that I guess was easy.

[Burt Show Host]

Are you more. Are you more reluctant to go out and hang out and party now than you were, let's say, a year ago?

[Shelly (Daughter)]

Absolutely.

[Burt Show Host]

Yeah.

[Shelly (Daughter)]

Absolutely.

[Burt Show Host]

You're always looking over.

[Shelly (Daughter)]

It's not even fun anymore, you know? I mean. You know what I mean? It's not like, you know, everyone's watching or looking for you to mess up or something like that. So it's like you rather just stay home, you know, it's not even worth it.

[Burt Show Host]

You always feel like there's a camera there just waiting to be snapped at you.

[Knox]

Exactly.

[Shelly (Daughter)]

And you're like, you know what? This isn't fun. You know, you're nervous. You start with something like apparently, which is not fun either.

[Jeff]

Tara Reid, God bless her heart.

[Ad/Promo Voice]

Right?

[Burt Show Host]

But Tara, don't you think though that any publicity is good publicity because at least your, your name's out in print, you know, almost.

[Shelly (Daughter)]

You know, I used to think that until it was like overwhelming, like, till it was so much like oversaturated, you know what I mean? Because it's not like it was just like one story once in a while I wouldn't care. But now it's like so much. It's like, whoa, I don't even, I don't even need any right now. I guess in that way, you know, maybe if I didn't have a movie or something like that, you wouldn't really care or something.

[Co-host or Producer]

And now the latest news is you are consoling Britney Speaker Spears when she was crying over the.

[Shelly (Daughter)]

That's not true. I was in Mexico when supposedly, I was supposedly hanging out with Britney Spears, which never, ever happened.

[Jeff]

What's the most bizarre thing you've read about yourself in a tabloid?

[Shelly (Daughter)]

Probably that was one of that one. And throwing the cake or something like that entire film's birthday.

[Co-host or Producer]

That was crazy.

[Burt Show Host]

Terry, how closely do you pay attention to what's said about you in the media? Do you read those things yourself or do you have somebody that comes up to tell you this is what's being said about you this week, or do you try to ignore it or what?

[Shelly (Daughter)]

You know, I agree, but I know everything, you know, because I get the phone call from, you know, like the publicist calling, you know, Tara, were you at such and such or, you know, I mean, our shall say to me, like, you know, Tara, you're never going to believe this one. They said you were here and she's like, I know you weren't because you were with me in Florida. You know what I mean? Like, you know, so you couldn't have been in New York and Florida at the same time. It's that kind of thing, right?

[Co-host or Producer]

Knowing what you know about what the press, what they do. And after having a high profile relationship with Carson Daly, how do you view dating now? Is it. Do you try to stay away from the public eye as far as, you know, going out with guys and when you meet a guy, how do you know when they're, when they like you for who you are and just. And they're not bringing up, oh, that movie or that thing they read or. God, it must drive you nuts sometimes. Yeah.

[Shelly (Daughter)]

I mean, you know, since him, I haven't really had a boyfriend. So, you know what I mean? I've just kind of wanted to keep away from everything. It's just been so much. Everything's been kind of like that. So, you know, I'm just trying to work and, you know, do movies and, you know, I mean, do like what I count, like, what I can count on and what I love.

[Burt Show Host]

Are you going to get to a point here where you're, like, ready to do some, like, deep emotional acting kind of thing?

[Shelly (Daughter)]

I've done that, you know, I mean, I did that in body shots and it's like. But if I get. If I get, say I get three scripts and one's a comedy, one's a drama, and one's, you know, like a, you know, sci fi or something. If the comedy or the drama is the best one, that's the movie I'll do. Do you know what I mean? And just lately it just happens to be that the comedies have been the best movies that I've read and that's. I've been going that way.

[Burt Show Host]

Tara, thank you so much for joining us this morning. Really appreciate it.

[Shelly (Daughter)]

No problem. Thank you.

[Burt Show Host]

And good luck with the movie and good luck with just being Tara Reid.

[Shelly (Daughter)]

Thanks so much.

[Jeff]

I'm still looking at the Maxim and I have yet to find the picture that you call bad.

[Burt Show Host]

Yeah, take care, Tara.

[Shelly (Daughter)]

Alright, bye, guys.

[Podcast Host (possibly Jamie)]

Take care.

[Burt Show Host]

This is the Birch show, of course you remember Eve. Blow your mind. Gwen Stefani. She's got a new song with Alicia Keys, Gangsta Lovin. She's got a new solo album out called Evolution, and she stopped by the Burt show studios and hung out with us for about an hour. And she's just the coolest girl. You hear your music being played on the radio. You hear it in the headphones right now. What do you listen for? Are you only like. Like when I look at a picture of all of us, I just see me.

[Knox]

Yeah.

[Jeff]

Do you even know that Gwen Stefani's in this song too?

[Gwen Stefani]

I listen to the words. I listen to my music. I listen to the way I said things. If I could have said it better or how, you know, if it could have been clearer or that's how. That's what I listen to.

[Burt Show Host]

So you do critique yourself. Yes. Do you.

[Co-host or Producer]

Is it ever finished? Are you ever at the point where you're like, all right, this is cool?

[Podcast Host (possibly Jamie)]

It's.

[Gwen Stefani]

Yeah, sometimes. Not all the time. Sometimes I'm like, I could do more. I could have did more. But sometimes that's all it is. That could be done, you know?

[Burt Show Host]

Right. So when you're hearing this now, like, if you could go back in the studio right now and you're listening to what we're hearing right now. What would you change about this?

[Gwen Stefani]

Not a thing. No, this is actually my. One of my favorite songs I've ever done.

[Ad/Promo Voice]

Really?

[Jeff]

She'd take Gwen out of it, make it Eve and Eve, change the name of the song, Let me Blow my mind.

[Burt Show Host]

You know, I was reading your bio here and I was trying, you know, like, when we have celebrities come in, I try to relate to them on one. On some level, you know. Let me tell you something. You and I are on totally different sides of the spectrum. Because the way you grew up, I mean, in reading this thing, that's a tough life. I mean, I like, grew up in the Jewish section of San Diego.

[Gwen Stefani]

Okay.

[Burt Show Host]

Do you think that, you know, by you not being like the big time partier and, you know, kind of meeting the image in the music industry that has helped you with, you know, your peers in the industry or hurt you?

[Gwen Stefani]

Neither. I mean, I do me, you know, I don't. I don't care. Like, I don't. I think. I think.

[Jeff]

I don't know.

[Gwen Stefani]

I don't think it's helped or hurt, you know, I think people really know that I do my own thing. I don't really try to. That's not my thing. I don't like, you know, the crystal, all that. Come on, man. I'm just not.

[Burt Show Host]

Are these tough on you, these radio tours?

[Gwen Stefani]

It's the plane riding, it's the packing of the bags and the checking in. And first of all, we always get stopped at the supposed. What do they call it?

[Jeff]

The random stuff, the random, the fake.

[Gwen Stefani]

Random that I'm in the computer. I get checked all the time. We always get stopped because we usually have one way tickets. So they always stop us.

[Jeff]

Take off your shoes.

[Gwen Stefani]

Take off the sho. I'm gonna say I had on flip flops one day and she told me, me, I'm like, what am I sticking in a flip flop? I was like, it was crazy.

[Burt Show Host]

Funny.

[Jeff]

Now I got to take advantage of why you're here because I know you got to get going soon, but I've always wanted to be a posy member. Like I've always wanted to be, you know, in a posy. And I've. I've always wanted. Well, yeah, he.

[Burt Show Host]

He wants to be the creamy coffee.

[Jeff]

Well, here's what I did. I put together a tape because I want to be the posse guy who sings every sixth word of a rap song. You know what I mean? You see how that Works so what I did.

[Co-host or Producer]

She's making fun of you so badly.

[Knox]

Crazy.

[Jeff]

I'm just.

[Knox]

I.

[Jeff]

Can I play my tape for you? It's two minutes. Just constructive criticism.

[Gwen Stefani]

Okay?

[Jeff]

That's all I'm looking for.

[Burt Show Host]

Yeah, you're Simon on American Idol right now.

[Tracy or another female caller]

Oh, my God.

[Knox]

Word.

[Jeff]

Rock you. That's me all night. Rock you Old school, ineffective.

[Burt Show Host]

Daddy baby.

[Jeff]

Girl established.

[Gwen Stefani]

Seem available don't mean I know you want to settle.

[Jeff]

You gotta say you are my short list. What you gonna do about it?

[Burt Show Host]

What do you think?

[Gwen Stefani]

You know what?

[Burt Show Host]

Any future at all.

[Jeff]

Look to your left. You know what you see? You see crunkness.

[Gwen Stefani]

He is crazy.

[Burt Show Host]

Yeah, just put him in a jumpsuit. He's ready to get out there. Put some sunglasses on his face.

[Gwen Stefani]

Hilarious.

[Jeff]

Like, growing up, I wanted to be one of the military dudes in public enem. But I couldn't get Chuck D to call me back. So, you know, so I'm working on it.

[Burt Show Host]

And the clock around his neck gave him a rash. Good to have you in studio. Thank you. Good to have you in Atlanta.

[Gwen Stefani]

Thank you.

[Burt Show Host]

And anytime you're in Atlanta, you know the door's always open for you.

[Podcast Host (possibly Jamie)]

Definitely.

[Gwen Stefani]

Thank you.

[Burt Show Host]

Okay. Thanks for coming in. This is the Birch show.

[Podcast Host (possibly Jamie)]

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[Ad/Promo Voice]

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[Knox]

Code acast hi, this is Knox from the podcast with Knox and Jamie. And maybe like us at the podcast, you also know people who have been smokers or vapers. And Zen is the one product it seems like everyone is talking about because there are many good reasons to make a change to Zen nicotine pouches. Reasons like Zyn nicotine pouches are still America's number one choice for smoke free, hands free nicotine satisfaction. And you can choose between 10 varieties, each variety available in either 3 or 6 milligrams. Check out zen.comfine to find Zyn at a store near you. Warning. This product contains nicotine. Nicotine is an addictive chemical.

[Burt Show Host]

Mathematically, when you think about it. There has to be the worst mother in America. What we did know a couple of weeks ago was that the worst mother in America listens to the Burt Show. How are you, Shelly?

[Tracy or another female caller]

I'm good.

[Shelly (Daughter)]

How are you doing?

[Burt Show Host]

Really great. So you've got the problem with mom, huh?

[Shelly (Daughter)]

Yeah.

[Burt Show Host]

All right, what's happening?

[Tracy or another female caller]

I've been in college for two years and I recently just moved back in with my mom. And, you know, I'm here for the summer and I have a lot of friends. I bring my friends home a lot. And my problem is that my mom is like flirting with my friends. Like the guys I bring back, I mean, they're really good looking guys.

[Burt Show Host]

It's just so embarrassing. Yeah, it's your mom. It's embarrassing.

[Knox]

Yeah.

[Burt Show Host]

Two questions I have. One, how old is your mom? And two, are your parents still together?

[Tracy or another female caller]

No, my parents are not still together. My mom is 40.

[Co-host or Producer]

Okay, so your mom's pretty young too.

[Shelly (Daughter)]

She's really young.

[Tracy or another female caller]

And you know what, she's beautiful and like, she's so cool and everything. It's just that, you know, at one point, like, my friend Jason was over and like, we're all laughing and everything. And next thing you know, she's like hugging him and like, you know, like jumping up and down like, you know, she's trying to be funny and everything. But it was just like a little embarrassing, you know, the One time she came down this outfit, she looked gorgeous. But she comes down, she's like, saying to the guys, well, how do you think I look? And I just kind of had to leave the room. I was so embarrassed.

[Burt Show Host]

You've never said anything to her about it?

[Tracy or another female caller]

No, I have. You know, I mean, just like. I mean, nothing major, but she's just like, oh, you're crazy. I'm just fooling around. I'm just kidding.

[Michelle (Mom)]

Da, da, da.

[Tracy or another female caller]

But, you know, it's really embarrassing, you know, like, I bring guys home for me, you know, like, that I'm interested in, and you're there talking to my mom. Like, I don't want to hear my friends saying my mom is hot.

[Burt Show Host]

Right, right. I hear you. Hey, Shelly, your mom's on the phone. Hey, Mom.

[Michelle (Mom)]

Hello, Michelle.

[Jeff]

Oh, Michelle.

[Tracy or another female caller]

No, I. Mom, I'm just. I just called because I was just saying about how I'm just a little uncomfortable, like when I bring my friends over and stuff. And, you know, like, you're flirting with them all.

[Shelly (Daughter)]

And I just.

[Tracy or another female caller]

It just really makes me feel uncomfortable and, you know, I just. I just feel stupid and, you know, like, I just don't think you should be, like, flirting with my friends. I mean, you have your own friends and, you know, it just makes me feel bad.

[Michelle (Mom)]

I don't flirt with your friend.

[Tracy or another female caller]

Oh, mom, come on.

[Michelle (Mom)]

I don't flirt with your friends.

[Shelly (Daughter)]

They flirt with me.

[Tracy or another female caller]

I just must be imagining it then. How about Jason, mom, getting out from the pool. Jason's all wet. And you made a comment about, like, how his shorts, his bathing suit shorts were sticking to him.

[Michelle (Mom)]

They were.

[Tracy or another female caller]

I know, but, mom, it's a little inappropriate. Like one of my friends, I mean, coming out with a wet bathing suit on and you're commenting about, like, how big he is. I just think that's inappropriate, you know.

[Michelle (Mom)]

And then maybe you're just jealous. Oh.

[Tracy or another female caller]

Oh, God.

[Shelly (Daughter)]

Oh, please, Mom.

[Michelle (Mom)]

Your friends flirt with me.

[Shelly (Daughter)]

What?

[Michelle (Mom)]

You have to know how things are today. I'm a very good looking woman. I've taken great care of myself. And young boys find that very attractive. They think it's very sexy to see a woman who's confident with herself.

[Burt Show Host]

Well, she's. Her friends have said stuff to her like, you know, can your mom back off a little bit? It's making us a little uncomfortable. So you may be a hottie, but her friends are like, yeah, something ain't right here.

[Michelle (Mom)]

Oh, I don't believe that, Mom.

[Tracy or another female caller]

It's true. I mean, it just really makes me embarrassed. I mean, how do you think? I feel like when my friends are coming up and saying like, oh, your mom's like all over me, man. I mean, it's like I just get really embarrassed. I'm like, oh, haha, sorry.

[Michelle (Mom)]

Shelly, you don't even know the things that happen. I protect you from the things that happen.

[Co-host or Producer]

What do you mean?

[Michelle (Mom)]

There are times when I leave so she won't get upset and I don't want to be there because I see these are young boys and they get excited because they're young boys. They're in that hormone stage, mom, they're not like 10.

[Jeff]

So you leave so that they don't flirt with you.

[Michelle (Mom)]

So that they don't flirt with me. Because I see that it's upsetting her. I understand. Understand that. Of course I understand that. But you're not there when they call at home to talk to me.

[Tracy or another female caller]

Oh, oh, come on, that's absolutely ridiculous.

[Michelle (Mom)]

They call at home to talk to me. It happens all the time.

[Shelly (Daughter)]

Uh huh.

[Burt Show Host]

Which ones of her friends have called you up?

[Michelle (Mom)]

Actually, one of her friends. Not only did he call me up, I went on a date with him three nights ago.

[Shelly (Daughter)]

Oh my God. You know what else?

[Burt Show Host]

Why haven't you told your daughter about any of this?

[Michelle (Mom)]

I'm protecting her from these things.

[Burt Show Host]

Well, why are you doing it at all? I mean, you've got a boyfriend, she told us. Why do you need to date her 22 year old friend?

[Tracy or another female caller]

Wait a minute. You went out on a date with one of my friends?

[Shelly (Daughter)]

Who?

[Michelle (Mom)]

Not only did I go on a date with one of your friends, who? Mom, Dylan.

[Tracy or another female caller]

You did not go on a date.

[Michelle (Mom)]

I went on a date with Dylan and we even had sex.

[Shelly (Daughter)]

Oh my God, that's.

[Co-host or Producer]

And you said you were protecting your daughter.

[Michelle (Mom)]

Yeah, you're not my daughter. You're not protecting her, and we've actually gone out several times.

[Burt Show Host]

This is not the way you protect a daughter. It sounds to me like you're being hurtful to your daughter.

[Tracy or another female caller]

When did you go out with him, huh?

[Michelle (Mom)]

Three nights ago.

[Shelly (Daughter)]

When?

[Michelle (Mom)]

Three nights ago.

[Tracy or another female caller]

Really? You know what, I don't believe you. Because I am dating Dylan. There's no way dating you.

[Shelly (Daughter)]

Oh my God.

[Michelle (Mom)]

Well, we gotta get them. Dylan's looking for something a little more exciting.

[Burt Show Host]

Oh, you see, this is a whole, this is like a whole competitive mom daughter thing you got going on here. It really is.

[Tracy or another female caller]

If what you're saying is true, the only thing I can say about you.

[Michelle (Mom)]

Is that you just are a pig.

[Tracy or another female caller]

You're just a pig.

[Michelle (Mom)]

Oh, oh, oh. She's Very upset.

[Burt Show Host]

Well, that's how you protect your daughter. She is.

[Michelle (Mom)]

I mean, don't tell my daughter these things.

[Burt Show Host]

Why would she be doing. Yeah, why would you even go out. I'm with someone she's going out with.

[Michelle (Mom)]

Persistent young man. There's nothing wrong with. Old women are going.

[Burt Show Host]

You're the adult. You're the adult here.

[Jeff]

I say good for you. Go for it.

[Burt Show Host]

Seriously, shut up. You have some kind of, like, competitive thing with your daughter?

[Michelle (Mom)]

Absolutely not. These young men are adults. They know exactly what they're doing.

[Burt Show Host]

Well, so do you.

[Co-host or Producer]

What's your reasoning for going out with Dylan, though? Because it's clearly not protecting your daughter.

[Burt Show Host]

Knowing that she's going out with him.

[Michelle (Mom)]

I didn't know that she was going out with him.

[Burt Show Host]

I mean, you are really putting at risk your relationship with your daughter because you're trying to make yourself feel good about yourself.

[Michelle (Mom)]

I do feel good about myself.

[Burt Show Host]

Well, how could you if you're. I mean, if you're sleeping with your daughter's friends and listen to how. Flirting with them when they come over to the house and. Yeah, like Lindsay says, she's so hurt.

[Michelle (Mom)]

I realize that she's very upset, and I will certainly talk to her about this. My intention is not to hurt my daughter. I love my daughter very much, but she has to learn how the world ends up.

[Burt Show Host]

Oh, see, that's awful.

[Co-host or Producer]

Hey, Amy, if you're as beautiful as you say you are, then I'm sure there are a lot of other men that'll be just as persistent with you, and you'll have a lot of other options. Maybe you should take up one of those options instead of your daughter's friend.

[Michelle (Mom)]

I do have a lot of other. Other options. As I said, this young man was very persistent.

[Burt Show Host]

Yeah, but you're an adult.

[Co-host or Producer]

How old is he? Amy?

[Michelle (Mom)]

He's an adult.

[Burt Show Host]

He's got to be 20.

[Knox]

2.

[Burt Show Host]

3. 22. 23.

[Michelle (Mom)]

IQ 100, probably 23.

[Shelly (Daughter)]

Hi.

[Tracy or another female caller]

Hi, this is Shelley again. I just have a question for my mom.

[Burt Show Host]

Okay. All right, go ahead. You're on.

[Shelly (Daughter)]

Shelly, hi.

[Tracy or another female caller]

I just have a question from my mom.

[Burt Show Host]

Yeah, your mom's on, too.

[Shelly (Daughter)]

Oh, okay.

[Tracy or another female caller]

So if you really did sleep with Dylan, mom, why don't you tell me about a tattoo? Do you know anything about a tattoo? Maybe.

[Shelly (Daughter)]

Yes.

[Tracy or another female caller]

You probably don't know anything about it. Cause you're lying.

[Michelle (Mom)]

Dylan has the number seven tattooed right in the small of his back. You are done. Is that the tattoo?

[Shelly (Daughter)]

Hey.

[Burt Show Host]

Well, hey.

[Jeff]

That relationship is really going well with your daughter.

[Burt Show Host]

I hope you're Proud? I mean, what else can we say? I mean, your daughter's totally broken up now.

[Jeff]

All right, Was it worth it for 48 seconds of sex?

[Burt Show Host]

Especially if he's 23?

[Jeff]

Yeah, 48 seconds. You're being generous. Yeah.

[Burt Show Host]

You know, hey, we're gonna let you go because there's nothing. I mean, I could take 50 phone calls here, but I can. I can hear that you're not gonna listen to anybody.

[Jeff]

Will you go out with Dylan again if he asks?

[Michelle (Mom)]

Certainly not.

[Jeff]

Well, the damage has been done, so what does it matter anyway? Yeah, it's like whizzing in the wind. Forget it.

[Burt Show Host]

Another great.

[Jeff]

It's a James Taylor over there.

[Burt Show Host]

I hope you realize that this is the worst day of your daughter's life. And it will be so for the rest of her life.

[Michelle (Mom)]

I will speak with her. These are the young men that she's picking. Then she needs to learn about men.

[Burt Show Host]

Whatever.

[Jeff]

If you know the number to Springer.

[Burt Show Host]

Yeah, if I were you, I'd go out to the car right now where your daughter's called us from and go and talk to her. You guys got a lot of talk driven off by this point.

[Jeff]

All I know is I was 20 and I did sleep with a 40 year old woman. And the only good thing I got out of that was a home cooked meal.

[Knox]

That was it.

[Burt Show Host]

Yeah. These guys aren't talking real highly about you. I gotta tell you, mom, you know, you think you're the beauty queen and you think you've kept your age. These guys are using you and they are talking so nasty about you. You have no idea. You're not respected by any one of her friends. Generally, when you get a celebrity on the air, what you want to do is get him to loosen up to you. Let him know that you like them, like their music. This goes against everything Jeff stands for. He got on a topic with Vanessa Carlton about one of her songs and he just would not let it go. Hey, Vanessa Carlton.

[Shelly (Daughter)]

Hi.

[Burt Show Host]

How are you today?

[Shelly (Daughter)]

I'm excellent. How are you doing?

[Knox]

Great.

[Burt Show Host]

Where are you calling us from?

[Shelly (Daughter)]

I'm calling from my apartment in New York.

[Burt Show Host]

And are you from New York?

[Shelly (Daughter)]

Yes, I am. Well, I'm actually from Pennsylvania, but I've been living here since I was 14.

[Burt Show Host]

Vanessa, I want to do this during this interview.

[Shelly (Daughter)]

Yes.

[Burt Show Host]

I want you. I mean, I want you to make this assumption. I want us to theorize that none of us have ever read anything about you before.

[Shelly (Daughter)]

Okay.

[Burt Show Host]

All right, so we're gonna ask you questions right from the start, of course, from the ground up.

[Shelly (Daughter)]

That's always what happens.

[Burt Show Host]

All right.

[Jeff]

So you're a singer?

[Shelly (Daughter)]

No, I actually play the ukulele.

[Burt Show Host]

Where in Pennsylvania are you from?

[Knox]

Milford.

[Burt Show Host]

Where is that?

[Shelly (Daughter)]

It's a teeny town. It's kind of like near the Delaware Water Gap.

[Michelle (Mom)]

I don't know.

[Burt Show Host]

Is it near? My wife is from Bradford. Do you know Bradford?

[Jeff]

Nope, it's the opposite. The Delaware Water Gap is south east Pennsylvania. Your wife is from Northwest.

[Shelly (Daughter)]

All I know is that it's an hour and a half at that city.

[Burt Show Host]

What's my wife's name again? Your wife?

[Jeff]

Vanessa Carlton.

[Co-host or Producer]

Yeah.

[Burt Show Host]

You know what the truest thing about Pennsylvania is? Because I lived in D.C. for eight years, there are two things about Pennsylvania. A, every town in Pennsylvania, these small towns that Vanessa's talking about, looks to me like they were all made out of the same blueprint. And they just brought the blueprint to different towns and made them all look the same.

[Shelly (Daughter)]

Well, one thing that's kind of unique about my hometown is that. Well, now at least. Cause it wasn't like that when I was growing up. But there's a lot of, like, cool antique shops.

[Burt Show Host]

Oh, yeah.

[Shelly (Daughter)]

And there's a lot of artists that are, like, moving out there. So it's kind of like, you know, the restaurants getting a little better. Yeah, yeah, it does have its, you know, you know, obligatory CVS and the wine and, like. I mean, everything is all the same in every town, but it's, like, kind of.

[Tracy or another female caller]

It's kind of cool.

[Co-host or Producer]

Were y' all always kind of yearning for the big city, though, in a sense?

[Shelly (Daughter)]

What? Oh, yeah, you were.

[Burt Show Host]

Did you come from one of these towns where everybody, you know, like, three fourths of the people in your high school class will stay there in that small town?

[Shelly (Daughter)]

Yeah. I mean. Yeah. I just have always knew that I wanted to go to the city. I love New York. And I just. I actually started, like, driving into the city when I was, like, in seventh grade. I was studying to be a ballet dancer since I was really young. And I would skip school, basically, and have these day trips into New York to take ballet class. And that's kind of when I bit the bug. It was like there's so much outside of where I am right now, even though I love Milford to death. You know, it's my hometown. But I started discovering what was out there when I was, like, you know.

[Burt Show Host]

Like 12 on the scale of. First of all, are your parents still there in Pennsylvania?

[Shelly (Daughter)]

Yes, they are. They actually moved to another little town, but they live on a lake, so it's so nice to visit.

[Burt Show Host]

Okay, on the scale of desire, if your parents didn't live anywhere near that little town, with 1 being no desire, and 12 being I can't wait to get back, what would be your desire to ever go back to your hometown? 1.

[Shelly (Daughter)]

If they didn't live there.

[Burt Show Host]

If they didn't live there.

[Co-host or Producer]

Anywhere near.

[Shelly (Daughter)]

Well, if that's that. You mean that means also that I wasn't raised there?

[Burt Show Host]

No, I'm just saying, you know, go. Just go. To go back to visit. Because I know.

[Shelly (Daughter)]

Because you know what? No, because I want to go back. I would say. Okay, I would give it.

[Michelle (Mom)]

It's one to 12.

[Shelly (Daughter)]

Wow. I've never heard of one to 12.

[Burt Show Host]

We can make one to 14. We do the team different.

[Jeff]

The scale is one to 40. Two and a half.

[Burt Show Host]

Go.

[Shelly (Daughter)]

Yeah, I would say. I would give it a 30. 30.

[Burt Show Host]

All right. So you're. You know, you're not one of these people that are shying away from home?

[Shelly (Daughter)]

No, because that's my hometown.

[Burt Show Host]

All right.

[Shelly (Daughter)]

I miss it.

[Burt Show Host]

The video is all over mtv.

[Shelly (Daughter)]

Yeah, they've been good to me over there.

[Burt Show Host]

Boy, they sure have.

[Co-host or Producer]

What's it like the first time you see your video come up and you're.

[Tracy or another female caller]

Like, wait, that's my face. That's me.

[Shelly (Daughter)]

I always see it out of, like, the little windows between my fingers because they're always. My hands are always on my face. It's so strange. Like, I'm giggling and, like, excited, but, like, I can't really look at it at the same time because it's just so weird.

[Burt Show Host]

It's probably. It's probably like us listening to our voices on tape. You know, you just. Ugh, I hate the way I sound.

[Jeff]

I gotta ask you a question about a thousand miles.

[Shelly (Daughter)]

Yes.

[Jeff]

Just first let me. Can I play you a little bit of the song?

[Shelly (Daughter)]

Yeah.

[Burt Show Host]

Oh, you think she's probably heard it. Are you familiar?

[Jeff]

Are you familiar with it?

[Shelly (Daughter)]

I am. I've heard it a couple times.

[Jeff]

Okay. I just want to play part of it here. I could. This is what I'm talking about. This is what my question's about. Right here. Okay, Here we go. Right here. That part right there. Here it is again. Yep. This, in case you missed it, is that a sample of a beef commercial?

[Michelle (Mom)]

Not at all.

[Burt Show Host]

You owe me 20 bucks.

[Shelly (Daughter)]

You're talking about Copeland. It's Aaron Copland, and I love him. He's a composer and they use his music for the beef commercial.

[Jeff]

Thank you very much. So your song, this part, is in a commercial with the tagline Beef. It's what's for dinner.

[Shelly (Daughter)]

No.

[Burt Show Host]

All right, you lose.

[Jeff]

No, I don't.

[Burt Show Host]

Even though it's the same dude. It's not the same. Sam.

[Shelly (Daughter)]

It's not the same dude.

[Burt Show Host]

It's not the same dude.

[Shelly (Daughter)]

I'm saying I know who you think.

[Michelle (Mom)]

The composer.

[Shelly (Daughter)]

I know exactly what you're talking about. But that's not. I. That's not beef strings.

[Michelle (Mom)]

That is.

[Shelly (Daughter)]

Yes.

[Tracy or another female caller]

That's.

[Shelly (Daughter)]

That's. That's my personal string section for my song.

[Burt Show Host]

And it's very downright insulting that somebody would actually think that too. Probably correct.

[Shelly (Daughter)]

No, you know, I understand. I don't know. I mean, it's. It's. I know exactly what you're talking about, but it's not that. Actually, this is the first time anyone's ever asked me that.

[Jeff]

Is there any chance that while you were writing this song, you were craving some beef or something?

[Shelly (Daughter)]

I don't eat beef. Let's lay down the line. I don't eat beef.

[Burt Show Host]

You're just starting to anger.

[Jeff]

Are you making some sort of anti beef statement then when you compose this?

[Shelly (Daughter)]

No. See, Vanessa, no, it just. Really. A thousand miles, really, I have to say, has nothing to do with beef.

[Burt Show Host]

He's not gonna let you go until you say it is. Because Jeff cannot ever say he was wrong.

[Jeff]

I will find the beef. It's what's for dinner commercial, and you'll hear it.

[Burt Show Host]

She's telling you it's not.

[Co-host or Producer]

Vanessa, you can.

[Shelly (Daughter)]

I know exactly. I know what you're talking about.

[Co-host or Producer]

You can go ahead and tell him he's an idiot now. Cause we're all used to hearing that.

[Jeff]

Beef. It's what's for dinner.

[Shelly (Daughter)]

Oh, I just think you like beef.

[Burt Show Host]

All right, Vanessa, I'll let you go before Jeff just beats you down with this whole beef thing. Because he's already irritating me with it.

[Jeff]

I just have another legitimate question. Is there or is there not any truth to the rumor that you sampled a bit of the Rolling Stones for Paint It Black?

[Shelly (Daughter)]

Sample the. No, I did the song. I did.

[Michelle (Mom)]

Wait.

[Shelly (Daughter)]

Sample the beef thing.

[Jeff]

No, no. The Rolling Stones in the song Paint it Black.

[Shelly (Daughter)]

No, did not do that. It's all me. It's all redone and my version.

[Jeff]

Have you ever sampled anyone? Have you ever made a cassette tape of Danessa?

[Co-host or Producer]

You're never Gonna Come on Q100 again, are you?

[Shelly (Daughter)]

Never.

[Burt Show Host]

Hold on.

[Shelly (Daughter)]

Never had a sample?

[Burt Show Host]

Yeah. Jeff is in the penalty box. Mike off. For the next five minutes being obnoxious to a guest. Bye. Bye, Jeff.

[Shelly (Daughter)]

No, he wasn't yeah, you weren't. Yeah, he used to talk about the beef thing.

[Burt Show Host]

He won't let it go, though. See you. Hey, Vanessa, good luck.

[Shelly (Daughter)]

Thank you.

[Burt Show Host]

Really appreciate it. We will watch you on mtv and we will tell everybody to go buy the CD also.

[Shelly (Daughter)]

Thanks so much, guys.

[Burt Show Host]

Take care.

[Shelly (Daughter)]

Bye.

[Burt Show Host]

Bye.

[Knox]

Now.

[Burt Show Host]

Here, Burt show. You remember months ago when the lottery was up to, like, hundreds of millions of dollars? Well, the Burt show thought we'd put our heads together and find a way to find some numbers that we would endorse. Right. Lottery. So you guys would listen to our numbers, go ahead and play them and be millionaires. The newest member of our morning show is Phil Turana. Hey, Phil.

[Michelle (Mom)]

Good morning, guys. How are you?

[Burt Show Host]

I'm good. How are you doing, man?

[Michelle (Mom)]

Good, Phil.

[Burt Show Host]

Today we are going to try to help our listeners out. We're trying to scientifically pick the numbers that we believe will be the numbers picked tonight in the lottery. All right, Phil, now, you are at the Laundromat now, correct?

[Michelle (Mom)]

Yes, sir.

[Burt Show Host]

All right, you are there with ping pong balls in hand?

[Shelly (Daughter)]

Yep.

[Burt Show Host]

Is there an industrial dryer there somewhere?

[Michelle (Mom)]

Yeah, it doesn't get any bigger than this.

[Burt Show Host]

All right, we're going to go ahead and have you put the first bag of ping pong balls in the industrial dryer.

[Michelle (Mom)]

Okay. That's arn.

[Jeff]

Those are the red balls numbered one through 50. Correct.

[Michelle (Mom)]

Those are the red balls numbered 1 through 50.

[Jeff]

Okay.

[Burt Show Host]

Okay. Now let me check in with intern Tracy here. Also, Tracy, you're on the scene as well.

[Shelly (Daughter)]

Yep, I'm here.

[Burt Show Host]

Okay. At this point, Phil, we're gonna have you jump into the industrial dryer with the lottery ball.

[Michelle (Mom)]

Bert, I'm about a buck 90. I don't know if this is. I don't know if this is gonna work.

[Burt Show Host]

Ye. This should be fine. So why don't you go ahead and dive right into the industrial dryer with those ping pong balls.

[Michelle (Mom)]

You're serious?

[Burt Show Host]

Totally serious. I mean, it's. This is for the listeners. Think of the listeners.

[Co-host or Producer]

Very good.

[Burt Show Host]

Cause think of the listeners.

[Michelle (Mom)]

My neck, when it breaks.

[Burt Show Host]

Oh, it'll be fine.

[Michelle (Mom)]

It's fun.

[Shelly (Daughter)]

All right, well, hang on.

[Burt Show Host]

Okay, hold on.

[Michelle (Mom)]

I'm going to put the phone down.

[Burt Show Host]

It'll be fine. You want to bring that phone in there with you? Yeah, we need to be able. Hold on, hold on.

[Michelle (Mom)]

I'm just going to give it to Tracy so I can at least fit my fat ass in here.

[Knox]

Hang on.

[Tracy or another female caller]

Here he goes.

[Shelly (Daughter)]

Okay, he's in.

[Burt Show Host]

He's in now. All right, go ahead and hand him the cell phone.

[Shelly (Daughter)]

Okay, hold on one second.

[Jeff]

The echo's gonna be great, you guys.

[Shelly (Daughter)]

He's so squashed in there.

[Michelle (Mom)]

Oh, my God.

[Jeff]

Hey, Tracy, is he all the way in?

[Tracy or another female caller]

He's completely in.

[Jeff]

Will you slam the door?

[Shelly (Daughter)]

Uh huh.

[Michelle (Mom)]

Oh, my God.

[Tracy or another female caller]

Do you guys think he's more of a high cotton?

[Michelle (Mom)]

No.

[Burt Show Host]

All right, so. So, Phil, you are now inside the industrial dryer with door closed, correct?

[Michelle (Mom)]

Unfortunately, yes.

[Burt Show Host]

Okay, Tracy, go ahead and put a couple of quarters in there.

[Shelly (Daughter)]

Okay.

[Michelle (Mom)]

Oh, my God. Our Father who art in heaven.

[Burt Show Host]

Oh, geez.

[Michelle (Mom)]

Oh, geez.

[Burt Show Host]

Tracy, we're have you turn that thing on for about 10 seconds and then open the door and have him hand you one of the ping pong balls. Okay?

[Michelle (Mom)]

Okay. Oh, hey, look, I'm rolling now.

[Podcast Host (possibly Jamie)]

Ow.

[Michelle (Mom)]

I'm going to try to darn it.

[Knox]

Hold on.

[Michelle (Mom)]

I fell on my head.

[Burt Show Host]

Very good. All right, Tracy, stop it. Now open the door and let him hand you the first ping pong ball. Now there are.

[Michelle (Mom)]

What do you want? The ping pong ball under my leg or up my butt?

[Burt Show Host]

I think Tracy would probably prefer the one by your leg. Go ahead. We're have to do this five times, so go ahead and take the first ball out now, Tracy.

[Shelly (Daughter)]

Okay, first ball is a seven.

[Michelle (Mom)]

Seven.

[Burt Show Host]

All right. The first Bert show endorsed number tonight is seven. All right, Tracy, close the door and start the dryer again.

[Shelly (Daughter)]

Hey.

[Michelle (Mom)]

What? You know the little old man that works here?

[Burt Show Host]

Yeah.

[Michelle (Mom)]

He is giving us some really fun looks. I want you. If I can get him in here with me.

[Burt Show Host]

That'S a different show.

[Michelle (Mom)]

Oh, okay. Oh, oh, oh, gee.

[Shelly (Daughter)]

Okay, I'm on my head.

[Michelle (Mom)]

Very easy upstairs.

[Burt Show Host]

All right, Tracy, go ahead, open up the door and let's take out ping pong ball number two. We're getting yelled at.

[Michelle (Mom)]

We're getting yelled at. He's not liking this one.

[Burt Show Host]

All right, then you're going to have to quickly give Tracy a ping pong ball.

[Michelle (Mom)]

Here's another one. There's another one.

[Tracy or another female caller]

Okay, okay, 24.

[Burt Show Host]

24. All right. Is the second Bert show endorse number. Go ahead. Close the door again, Tracy.

[Michelle (Mom)]

It's over. It's over. Here he goes.

[Jeff]

So give him the phone.

[Tracy or another female caller]

Do you want to talk to him?

[Burt Show Host]

Yeah, sure.

[Tracy or another female caller]

Okay, hold on, hold on one second.

[Michelle (Mom)]

Let me grab another ball while we're getting him.

[Burt Show Host]

Yeah, quickly.

[Michelle (Mom)]

Okay, next ball.

[Shelly (Daughter)]

20.

[Burt Show Host]

20. All right, 20. That's three. We've got Phil in an industrial size dryer right now.

[Jeff]

Tracy is distracting the Chinaman with her womanly ways. So you keep spinning.

[Michelle (Mom)]

Show some legs.

[Jeff]

Hello.

[Michelle (Mom)]

I don't want to talk, but we should come out. My dad says I'm dirty, though.

[Burt Show Host]

Quickly, give us ball number four. Now, Phil.

[Michelle (Mom)]

Okay, I got another one.

[Gwen Stefani]

I got another one.

[Michelle (Mom)]

Sorry, doctor, I'm not here. 26.

[Jeff]

26.

[Burt Show Host]

Oh, God.

[Michelle (Mom)]

Oh, God.

[Burt Show Host]

I'm on my head.

[Shelly (Daughter)]

Hang on.

[Michelle (Mom)]

I don't know if that's my spine or my neck. Okay, last one.

[Ad/Promo Voice]

29.

[Burt Show Host]

29. All right, now we need, like, a Powerball, right?

[Knox]

Yeah.

[Jeff]

Why don't we have the guy at the Laundromat pick the Powerball for us? Tracy, Ask him to pick one ball out of the big money bag.

[Michelle (Mom)]

I just put the big money ball.

[Shelly (Daughter)]

For us, and then we'll leave.

[Michelle (Mom)]

We come grab in here and grab a ball. Oh, he is not happy. He is not happy.

[Tracy or another female caller]

Will you come help us?

[Michelle (Mom)]

Come reach in and take a ball out. Excellent.

[Shelly (Daughter)]

Thank you.

[Burt Show Host]

Oh, he is. Okay, cool. See if you can get him on with us.

[Shelly (Daughter)]

Okay.

[Co-host or Producer]

Hold on one second.

[Burt Show Host]

Okay.

[Michelle (Mom)]

Just grab a ball. Any ball.

[Shelly (Daughter)]

Any ball.

[Jeff]

I hope he does.

[Shelly (Daughter)]

That's it.

[Michelle (Mom)]

What's Your name? Jordan D. 23.

[Burt Show Host]

23.

[Michelle (Mom)]

What's your name, sir? Nick.

[Burt Show Host]

Nick.

[Michelle (Mom)]

Thank you. Sir. Would you like to talk to Q100?

[Tracy or another female caller]

Say hello.

[Shelly (Daughter)]

Hello.

[Burt Show Host]

Hello. Hi, Nick.

[Knox]

I'm fine.

[Burt Show Host]

Hi. We want to thank you for letting us use your industrial dryer today. We're trying to pick the numbers in the lottery tonight.

[Michelle (Mom)]

Okay, but he was sitting inside. That's why I'm worried. Okay.

[Burt Show Host]

He was.

[Jeff]

He got in the dryer.

[Michelle (Mom)]

He's inside the dryer.

[Knox]

The man.

[Burt Show Host]

Good God almighty.

[Jeff]

What is wrong with him?

[Burt Show Host]

You know what? If I were you, I'd just call the cops on the kid.

[Michelle (Mom)]

Okay? He's done. He's walking away.

[Jeff]

Okay.

[Burt Show Host]

All right, so once again, these are the the numbers to play as. As according to the industrial dryer and Q100, they are 7, 20, 24, 26, 29, and the Moneyball 23.

[Jeff]

The Birch show.

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[Knox]

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[Jeff]

Banking with Capital One helps you keep more money in your wallet with no fees or minimums on checking accounts and no overdraft fees. Just ask the Capital One bank guy. It's pretty much all he talks about in a good way. He'd also tell you that this podcast is his favorite podcast too. Ah really? Thanks Capital One Bank Guy. What's in your wallet? Term supply See capitalone.com bank capital1na member FDIC.