The Bert Show: Vault – 2nd Date Update: Robert & Elisha

Podcast Host: The Bert Show (Bert Weiss, Jeff, Knox, Dave, et al.)
Date: October 29, 2025
Episode Focus: A classic “Second Date Update” that takes an unexpectedly awkward and jaw-dropping turn when the real reason for radio silence after a successful date comes out.

Overview:

This episode dives into the well-loved segment "Second Date Update," where listeners get help uncovering why a promising first date didn’t lead to a second one. This time, it’s Alicia (also transcribed as Elisha) who reaches out baffled after spending an amazing, intimate evening with Robert, only to be ghosted. What unfolds is an accidental family connection so cringe-worthy that even the hosts are left speechless.

Key Discussion Points & Timeline

1. Setting the Scene – Why Didn’t Robert Call Back?

[01:48] – [03:14]

• Bert Weiss introduces the situation: Alicia and Robert go out, date goes great, they spend an entire night together, he leaves at 6 AM, and she never hears from him again.
• Alicia calls in for answers. Bert assures her: “With your permission, we're gonna beg him for total honesty.”

  “I'd rather know the ugly details than just have this thing open-ended.” — Bert Weiss (02:32)

2. Robert’s Reluctant Honesty

[03:14] – [04:45]

• Robert initially refuses to reveal the reason live, fearing widespread embarrassment:

  “I'm absolutely not going to say it on the air. If you start, you know, kind of pushing me on it too, I'll just, I'm just gonna warn you right now, I'll just hang up.” — Robert (03:32)

• He does offer to share the story off-air, permitting hosts to relay it if Alicia is OK with it.

3. Off-Air Revelation & The Shocking Family Twist

[05:20] – [07:01]

• After a short off-air discussion, the group comes back:
  • Alicia, sounding devastated, reveals:

    “Yeah, it sucks. Yeah, it was my cousin...we had sex.” — Alicia (05:47)

  • The realization hits the entire group in real time. One co-host sums up the confusion:

    “She was going to be on the air. She knew she was going to be on the air. Was she talking to somebody else?” — Burt Weiss (06:14)

• The hosts piece together what happened: Robert’s brother informed him, after the fact, that Alicia is in fact his cousin—his mom’s sister’s child.

4. Hosts Unpack the Family Tree

[06:18] – [07:50]

• The hosts try to map out how this familial connection was missed:

  “His parents got separated when they were very young… so he has some sort of step family that he's close to.” — Burt Weiss / Alicia (06:39–07:01)

• They speculate that Robert didn’t recognize Alicia as family due to estrangement.

5. Listeners Call In with Their Own Awkward Family Stories

[07:51] – [09:59]

• Dave calls in with a personal story about his own accidental cousin encounters, describing a deeply awkward experience:

  “When I was about 15, I had sex with two of my first cousins...We used to do it in the basement of my grandparents’ house.” — Dave (07:58)

• He follows up with another story about a friend who unwittingly dated his own father.

  “My boy is my dad. Because he never actually met his real father…they have been dating for a year.” — Dave (09:00)

6. Comic Relief in the Aftermath

[09:44] – [09:53]

• Co-hosts try to lighten the mood as they process the revelations:

  “When he calls him daddy, he's really meaning that.” — Jeff & Dave (09:46–09:50)

  • The group exchanges rapid-fire jokes and incredulous laughter, trying to bring the energy back after the bombshell(s).

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Robert’s Boundaries:
  “I'm absolutely not going to say it on the air...I'll just hang up, you know.” — Robert (03:32)

• Alicia’s Realization:
  “Yeah, it sucks. Yeah, it was my cousin. Yeah. And I. I didn't tell him, but...we had sex.” — Alicia (05:47)

• Hosts’ Shock:
  “Oh, Alicia. Alicia. Alicia.” — Burt Weiss (05:47) “His brother says, do you know who you were out on a date with? That was mom's sister's kid.” — Alicia (07:01)

• Listener Dave’s Wild Call:
  “Well, when I was about 15, I had sex with two of my first cousins.” — Dave (07:58)

Tone and Style

The Bert Show delivers their signature mix of real talk and humor—keeping things breezy even as the story descends into jaw-dropping territory. The hosts react with genuine surprise, empathy, and, eventually, comic relief to help the audience process what just went down.

Important Timestamps

• [01:48]: Introduction of the Second Date dilemma
• [03:14]: Robert’s live call; refusal to reveal on air
• [05:47]: Alicia’s bombshell about accidentally sleeping with her cousin
• [06:18]: Hosts unpack family tree confusion
• [07:58]: Listener call-ins with their own wild family revelations

Summary

This “Second Date Update” quickly goes from standard radio bit to deeply awkward family drama when Alicia discovers her great date with Robert ended in an accidental familial hookup. The revelation is so shocking it leaves both the hosts and listeners speechless—and then amused—once they recover. If you love radio that’s equal parts hilarious and outrageous, this episode of The Bert Show delivers it in spades.