Vault: A Member Of Her Church Is Trying To Crash The Birth Of Her Baby?!

Summary

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The Bert Show – Vault: A Member Of Her Church Is Trying To Crash The Birth Of Her Baby?!

Date: March 27, 2026
Main Cast: Bert, Kristin, Abby, Cassie, Tommy, and the Bert Show Panel

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Episode Overview

In this episode, the Bert Show tackles a unique and awkward conundrum brought forward by a listener named Marcia. Seven months pregnant, Marcia shares a story about a relatively new friend from her church who asked to be present in the delivery room for the birth of Marcia’s baby—despite only knowing each other for about two months. The show features Marcia's dilemma, explores issues of boundaries, anxiety, compassion, and how to handle uncomfortable requests. Lively debate and signature Bert Show humor ensue as the panel and callers offer their perspectives.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Marcia’s Situation: The Delivery Room Dilemma

[01:02–01:49]

• Marcia, seven months pregnant, talks about her friendship with a 22-year-old woman from church. They've become friends over the past couple months, with Marcia offering advice and comfort as a more experienced mom.
• The friend abruptly asks Marcia if she can be in the delivery room during the birth—a request Marcia finds odd and too intimate, especially given the short duration of their friendship.
• Marcia’s husband, caught off guard, accidentally says “yes” during an awkward silence.

Notable Quote:
“Even my own sister has never been in the delivery room with me. Why would this girl... I just know that. Well, I would never, like, just not right, you know?”
— Marcia (Caller) [03:06]

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2. The Group’s Initial Reactions

[02:29–03:41]

• The panel reacts with shock and disbelief at the friend’s request. They joke about intimacy and boundaries, even referencing “Single White Female” as an exaggerated analogy.
• Multiple panelists suggest Marcia simply decline the request and set firm boundaries.

Memorable Moment:
“I only show that part of my body to very few people. And only to very few when something’s coming out of every orifice I got.”
— Panelist 1 [03:41]

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3. The Twist: Emotional Fallout & Guilt

[04:02–04:52]

• Before Marcia and her husband can clarify the accidental 'yes,' the friend emails a heartfelt, emotional thank-you, describing how much it means to her.
• Marcia feels tremendous guilt, not wanting to hurt the young woman but also not wanting her in the delivery room.

Notable Quote:
“For her, it’s like this huge, huge, big deal. And she feels so supported by me... but I don’t want her in my delivery room because I don’t know her.”
— Marcia (Caller) [04:23]

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4. Navigating Boundaries and Friendship Dynamics

[04:52–06:41]

• The host frames the situation as a warning sign—a friendship that moved too deep, too quickly.
• They discuss the age gap (Marcia is 33; friend is 22) and how the young woman views Marcia as a “birthing mentor” in her loneliness and anxiety.
• Playful debate unfolds: Should Marcia go through with it for the sake of the young woman’s wellbeing, or is this boundary essential?

Notable Exchange:
Host: “This is the beginning of the crack in the relationship armor... somebody that could possibly request that and be so emotionally invested, you’re probably not gonna wanna hang out with anyway after this.”
— Host [05:12]

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5. Advice from Callers & Panelists

[06:44–09:30]

• A caller (Jenny) suggests using a code word, “green popsicle,” at the hospital to discreetly clear the room if unwanted guests show up.
• Panelists urge Marcia to put her foot down, emphasizing bodily autonomy and prioritizing her own comfort.
• The show nails home that it’s Marcia’s delivery, and she has every right to decide who’s present, regardless of the emotional fallout.

Memorable Moment:
“There are very few times in your life where you get a chance to be confident enough to put your foot down. And this is definitely one of those.”
— Panelist 1 [07:15]

Host: “Your vagina. Own it.”
— Host [09:21]

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6. Perspective from Another Pregnant Caller

[09:32–09:45]

• A pregnant caller shares her regret at being in the delivery room with a relative while eight months pregnant herself, warning it was a scarring experience and not advisable for either party.

Notable Quote:
“Do not let that girl in there while she is pregnant. It scared the crap out of me.”
— Caller [09:32]

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments (with Timestamps)

• “Even my own sister has never been in the delivery room with me...”
  — Marcia (Caller) [03:06]
• “I only show that part of my body to very few people. And ... only to very few when something’s coming out of every orifice I got.”
  — Panelist 1 [03:41]
• “This is the beginning of the crack in the relationship armor...”
  — Host [05:12]
• “There are very few times in your life where you get a chance to be confident enough to put your foot down. And this is definitely one of those.”
  — Panelist 1 [07:15]
• “Your vagina. Own it.”
  — Host [09:21]
• “Do not let that girl in there while she is pregnant. It scared the crap out of me.”
  — Caller [09:32]

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Important Timestamps

• [01:02] Marcia shares her dilemma
• [02:29–03:41] Panel’s shocked reactions
• [04:02–04:52] Guilt over emotional fallout
• [06:44] Caller introduces “green popsicle” hospital code
• [07:15] Panelist underscores asserting boundaries
• [09:32] Pregnant caller’s cautionary tale

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Tone & Language

The episode remains light, candid, and cheeky, blending sincere advice with humor and irreverence that is characteristic of the Bert Show. While the subject matter is sensitive, the cast avoids melodrama, delivering both practical tips and comic relief.

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Summary Takeaways

• Establishing boundaries—especially in emotionally charged, intimate moments like childbirth—is essential.
• New friendships can create unintended complications when boundaries aren’t clearly communicated.
• The panel agrees Marcia is justified in declining her friend’s request; her comfort, privacy, and family’s wishes come first.
• Practical tip: Use code words with medical staff to discreetly control who is present during delivery.
• It’s okay to prioritize your own needs, even at the risk of disappointing others.

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Transcript

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[Host (The Birch Show)]

The Birch Show.

Here is Marcia, and she wants to be on the voice disguiser. Good morning, Marcia.

[Marcia (Caller)]

Good morning.

[Host (The Birch Show)]

How are you today?

[Marcia (Caller)]

Well, I kind of in a pickle. I don't really know what to do. That's sort of what's going on for me.

[Host (The Birch Show)]

Okay, let's go. Let's go through the whole thing here. So you're. You're how long pregnant now? How far along?

[Marcia (Caller)]

I'm seven months, so, you know, getting there.

[Host (The Birch Show)]

Okay, you just go ahead and take it from here.

[Marcia (Caller)]

There's a really sweet girl who I know from church. She's like 22, and she's not really a newlywed anymore, but she got married kind of straight out of school, and she's also pregnant. Not as far along as me, but I think she just sort of, you know, she said that she sees me as a big sister, and she doesn't have a big sister. And after her husband, I was the first one she told that she was pregnant. And we've just. Because she's younger and she's really sweet, she has a lot of questions. She's kind of nervous about a lot of things. We've become friendly. I mean, just over the past couple months, you know, we go to lunch, we talk about things that she has all kinds of questions about the crazy stuff that's going on with her body and stuff. And I have a couple kids already, so I sort of know what's going to happen and what's going on. So, you know, we talk pretty often, and we get together probably a couple times a week. And she and her husband and me and my husband went to dinner, and she just said, you know, look, like, you know, you totally can say no to this. It's completely fine. But it would mean so much to me if I could be in the delivery room with you.

[Panelist 1]

She asked you?

[Host (The Birch Show)]

And how long have you guys been hanging out with each other?

[Marcia (Caller)]

Just, like, a little over two months. Oh, my God.

[Host (The Birch Show)]

Who the hell does that?

[Panelist 1]

Well, even if you've known each other for years, who asked the mother to be in the room?

[Marcia (Caller)]

What's worse is that, okay, there's this long, awkward silence. No one knows what to say. I mean, and my husband just. He doesn't know why. He just. I think he wanted to break the silence. And instead of breaking it by saying no, he broke it by saying yes. So it sort of was left as a yes at the end of the dinner, even though, of course, on the way home, my husband and I were talking. We were like, oh, my gosh.

[Caller]

This is just.

[Marcia (Caller)]

This doesn't feel right. Like, even my own sister has never been in the delivery room with me. Like, why would this girl. I just know that. Well, I would never, like, just not right, you know?

[Host (The Birch Show)]

Did you say that there was a work component to this, or is this strictly friendship? Friendship.

[Marcia (Caller)]

It's just friends. Just. Just from church.

[Host (The Birch Show)]

I think you're making a. The request is shocking in itself, but I think the fact that you don't know how to handle it. It's overly dramatic. Either you don't call the couple back. I mean, you've only known them two months, or you straight up tell them you're not comfortable with it and it's over.

[Panelist 1]

I thought about it.

[Panelist 2]

We've reconsidered.

[Caller]

Yeah.

[Host (The Birch Show)]

Or you just don't call them at all anymore.

[Panelist 1]

I only show that part of my body to very few people. And I mean, and only to very few. When something's coming out of every orifice I got.

[Marcia (Caller)]

Just don't tell them when you're delivering the baby. Just go. And don't make a phone call. I guess that's what I said. We can't really not call them back because people in our church are really close. It's like, it wouldn't really be close to that close.

[Host (The Birch Show)]

Too bad.

[Panelist 1]

I'm not that close to very many people.

[Marcia (Caller)]

We're not as immature or whatever as we sound because we decided on the way home, we were like, yeah, we're gonna have to Tell her, you know, you know that we just like in a moment we said yes, but we considered and it doesn't. It's not the right thing. But we get this email from her before we have a chance to make that call. Said in the email that she was like crying. She was so happy. It meant so much.

[Host (The Birch Show)]

Oh, no, no.

[Marcia (Caller)]

And she wants me to be there when she delivers. It's like, for her, it's like this huge, huge, big deal. And she feels so supported by me and this and that. So that's kind of the reason that it's become. I know that this should not happen and it cannot happen. But it seems like it's really gonna shatter her world. And I don't. I mean, how do you break it easy to her? Don't have to destroy her because she's a sweet girl, but I don't want her in my delivery room because I don't know her.

[Host (The Birch Show)]

There are two issues here. First, the one issue here is this is a brand new couple that you're hanging out with. So you guys have been pretty much in this superficial just getting to know you stage well. What she has just shown you is that she is so freaky that you're probably not gonna keep her as a friend anyway. So you're gonna have to cut her loose eventually. Anyway, this is the beginning of the crack in the relationship armor here, is that this is not someone you're gonna hang out with. Somebody that could possibly request that and be so emotionally invested you're probably not gonna wanna hang out with anyway after this.

[Panelist 2]

It does sound a little single white female.

[Panelist 1]

Right.

[Host (The Birch Show)]

But look at the whole, the whole package. Like, how old did you say this girl was?

[Marcia (Caller)]

She's like 22.

[Panelist 1]

Okay, well, that.

[Host (The Birch Show)]

And is it rude to ask how old you are?

[Marcia (Caller)]

No, I'm 33. Okay.

[Host (The Birch Show)]

Okay. So you've got some age and wisdom.

[Marcia (Caller)]

Yeah.

[Host (The Birch Show)]

This is this girl's first child.

[Marcia (Caller)]

Yeah.

[Host (The Birch Show)]

So she's looking at. It's a grasshopper type relationship. Like she's looking at you and she

[Panelist 1]

may break down that she's pregnant as

[Host (The Birch Show)]

a birthing mentor and she's panicking a little bit. And then she writes you this letter and you've obviously brought her great relief. I think you have to go through with it now.

[Announcer]

Thank you.

[Host (The Birch Show)]

Do.

[Panelist 2]

You were saying a couple months ago that the husband didn't even need to be in there. I know, Isn't that your big argument?

[Host (The Birch Show)]

Yes, but that's different. This girl, this is his choice. This scared young girl. Oh, come on, let's Put all the

attention on the scared young girl.

Just hear me out. Like, this is this woman's third child, a scared young girl, obviously very young, obviously very alone. This is the first woman.

She.

She is looking for some pregnancy guidance and this question gets blurted out. Her husband accepts the invite and has brought so much relief. I think for the health of the young girl's baby, you need to agree

to let her birthing classes.

[Marcia (Caller)]

She can watch the videos of people giving birth.

[Host (The Birch Show)]

Hey, Jenny. Good morning. You're part of the bird show. Hi.

[Caller]

I live in North Georgia and in the Chattanooga area they have a code phrase, green popsicle that if you order

[Marcia (Caller)]

one of those with one of the

[Caller]

nurses, they clear the room with everyone except for your husband. And that way you don't have to hurt anybody's feelings.

[Host (The Birch Show)]

Oh, that's really smart.

All you have to do is remember that. So you're not like grape soda.

[Cole Swindell]

What?

[Host (The Birch Show)]

Which means invite more people in.

[Marcia (Caller)]

Right, Right.

[Panelist 1]

And this is also a case, I think, with women. I know that. Well, I don't want to be rude and I don't want to, you know, make somebody feel after I said something and she crying. No, this is your baby. This is your delivery room. There are very few times in your life where you get a chance to be confident enough to put your foot down. And this is definitely one of those.

[Host (The Birch Show)]

Jeff just thinks you're being selfish about it, though.

I do. I think that this girl say this

[Panelist 1]

with a straight face without smiling.

[Host (The Birch Show)]

This girl has come. This girl look me in the eye

[Marcia (Caller)]

and say, he's got that face with

[Panelist 2]

a smile, without the smile.

[Panelist 1]

Look at me, Jeff.

[Marcia (Caller)]

Come here.

[Host (The Birch Show)]

So she's doing harm potentially to the 22 year old.

Yes. Because it's isn't. It isn't stress unhealthy for a baby? Right.

[Panelist 2]

Sure.

[Host (The Birch Show)]

This girl's obviously stressed, obviously panicked. The old woman, the 33 year old, she brought relief.

[Panelist 1]

We'll call her Etta.

[Host (The Birch Show)]

Right. Etta brought relief and calmness to the 22 year old. And now you're putting.

[Panelist 2]

She's not her doula. She's her friend from church.

[Host (The Birch Show)]

I'm just saying, if you're okay putting

the baby at risk, go her unconceived child. Yeah, yeah. So if you want to go ahead and you want to tell this 22 year old that she can't be part of your pregnancy and stress her out for potentially her pregnancy in the future,

go ahead and do it.

[Panelist 2]

We are not jumping on this bandwagon. We are not going to let you.

[Marcia (Caller)]

Good Lord.

[Host (The Birch Show)]

Hey, missy, you're on Q100.

Get away from me. You're not my daughter.

[Marcia (Caller)]

Hi, I'm from the old school. I don't spare feelings. So all she has to do is go to the hospital, have the baby, call her up later.

[Host (The Birch Show)]

You're making way too much about this. This is a real simple conversation right here.

[Panelist 1]

I want to be that woman's friend.

[Host (The Birch Show)]

You've only been friends with her for two months. You don't even have a lot invested in her. So what? You offend her. She's so offended, she never talks to you again. Big deal.

[Panelist 2]

You need a representative. You know how all the celebrities in Hollywood have their representatives to speak for them?

[Host (The Birch Show)]

A relationship agent? Yeah.

[Panelist 2]

To, you know, make their official statements to the press.

[Marcia (Caller)]

Whatever.

[Panelist 2]

Melissa needs to be your official representative.

[Panelist 1]

I mean, I see where Jen's coming from. I mean, you need to stand up for your delivery room. It's your delivery room.

[Host (The Birch Show)]

Your vagina. Own it.

[Panelist 1]

Yeah, I mean, it's your vagina and other parts that are going to be exposed to the room. So you can say whoever you want to see that, you know.

[Host (The Birch Show)]

Let me take one more quick call here.

[Caller]

Yes, I was the other girl that wanted to be in the delivery room with my cousin, and I was eight months pregnant. Do not let that girl in there while she is pregnant. It scared the crap out of me.

[Host (The Birch Show)]

The Birch show.

[Tyler Redick]

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