Vault: A Mystery Song About Pregnant Women Being Smug Landed in a Listener's Inbox

Summary

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The Bert Show – Vault: A Mystery Song About Pregnant Women Being Smug Landed in a Listener's Inbox

Date: April 1, 2026

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Episode Overview

This episode centers around a mystery email received by a Bert Show listener. The email—sent from a now-deleted address—included a satirical song titled “Pregnant Women Are Smug.” The cast discusses the context of the email, the meaning of “smug,” and their personal experiences and reactions to both pregnancy and the song itself. The episode blends humor, self-reflection, and playful ribbing, especially as one of the co-hosts, Tracy, is eight months pregnant.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. The Listener’s Mysterious Email (01:33–03:51)

• The show receives an email from Catherine, a listener offended by a video titled “Pregnant Women Are Smug,” sent anonymously to her inbox.
• Bert reads Catherine’s email, highlighting her frustration and suspicion that the sender is someone jealous of her pregnancy.
  • Quote (Bert, 02:40):
    “Dear Burchill, I’m so pissed right now. Somebody sent this to me yesterday. ... Is it possible that someone I know is jealous that I’m pregnant and she’s not?”

2. What Does "Smug" Mean? (02:00–02:24)

• The crew humorously grapples with the precise definition of “smug,” confirming it means “a high level of self-satisfaction,” with connotations of being self-congratulatory or condescending.
  • Quote (Unspecified female co-host, 02:09):
    “A high level of self satisfaction.”
  • Quote (Jen, 02:13):
    “It’s almost like a condescending kind of... I don’t know. Smug does seem to me to have that connotation?”

3. Introducing Tracy’s Pregnancy Journey (00:58–01:28)

• Tracy is eight months pregnant and describes her experience, wanting her baby to arrive safely but soon.
  • Quote (Tracy, 01:09):
    “Well...I want [the baby] to stay long enough to where I can bring her home right away. But I don’t necessarily wanna go the full 40 weeks. I’m ready.”
• Light banter about pregnancy milestones and being “done cooking.”

4. Playing the “Pregnant Women Are Smug” Song (03:51-06:11)

• The cast listens to the satirical song, which pokes fun at common “smug” behaviors attributed to pregnant women (e.g., always saying they “just want a healthy baby,” acting as if nothing else matters).
• The lyrics are sarcastic, and the crew reacts in real-time, laughing and cringing at specific lines.
  • Memorable quote (Song, 04:03):
    “Pregnant women are smug. Everyone knows it. Nobody says it because they’re pregnant.”
  • Song Parody Line (05:11): “You think that you're glowing? But you've been hoeing and now you're pregnant. You're just giving birth now. You're not mother Earth now.”

5. Crew’s Reaction and Self-Reflection (06:11–07:01)

• Jen, Bert, and others respond to the song, with Tracy surprisingly agreeing with its points, especially about the pressure to say “I just want it to be healthy.”
  • Quote (Tracy, 06:17):
    “I would like to say that I’m offended, but I agree with the song. ... There’s so much pressure to say, oh, I just want it to be healthy. But honestly, I wanted a girl.”
• The group laughs about behaving “smugly,” sharing personal experiences and gently teasing each other.
  • Quote (Jen, 06:56):
    “It’s great. Life before children is trivial.”

6. Listener Calls In: A Reality Check (07:03–07:21)

• Caller Devin chimes in, asserting that a little smugness for nine months is fine, considering the lifetime of hard work that follows parenthood.
  • Quote (Caller Devin, 07:03):
    “I really think it doesn’t matter if you’re smug for nine months because you are about to work harder than you ever have for the rest of your life to be a parent. Yes, ma’am.”

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Bert, on the sender’s motivation (01:33):
  “Somebody sent it, created the address, and then deleted the address because they knew they were going to inflict some damage.”

• Unspecified co-host, on pregnancy cliches (04:27):
  "Oh, it doesn’t matter as long as it’s healthy."

• Song lyric, on oversharing (05:05):
  “Who’s the father? Oh, we know, but we’re not telling.”

• Tracy’s candidness (06:17):
  “There’s so much pressure to say, oh, I just want it to be healthy. But honestly, I wanted a girl.”

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• 00:58: Tracy shares she is eight months pregnant.
• 01:33: Introduction of the mystery email and the premise of the episode.
• 03:51: The “Pregnant Women Are Smug” song is played in full.
• 06:11: Crew’s honest reactions and discussion after hearing the song.
• 07:03: Caller Devin gives a reality check on parenthood and “smugness.”

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Episode Tone & Takeaways

The tone throughout is playful, intimate, and self-aware, as the hosts poke fun at themselves and acknowledge the absurdities and realities of pregnancy culture. Listeners are left with a laugh and some thoughtful reflection on the ways societal expectations (and clichés) shape the pregnancy experience.

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Transcript

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[Burchill]

The bird show. I will warn you now, before I even play this song, that there's one line in here that's offensive. The rest of it you might find funny. Tracy, you may find nothing funny in it at all. Okay, Tracy, who is how far along now?

[Tracy]

Eight months.

[Jen]

Eight months. Almost there.

[Tracy]

Almost there.

[Unspecified Female Co-host]

Yay. There's gonna be a book show, baby.

Yay.

[Burchill]

Are you at the point of the just get this out of me stage?

[Tracy]

Well, I mean, she's not to the point now where. I mean, if she was born now, she'd have to stay in the hospital. So I want her to stay long enough to where I can bring her home right away. But I don't necessarily wanna go the full 40 weeks. I'm ready.

[Unspecified Female Co-host]

Right.

[Burchill]

I understand that.

[Unspecified Female Co-host]

When is she officially done cooking?

[Tracy]

37 weeks. I think it's safe.

[Unspecified Female Co-host]

What's that date?

[Tracy]

June 5th.

[Unspecified Female Co-host]

I was gonna say don't pretend you don't know.

[Burchill]

So this is the email that we got from our listener. She gets this thing anonymously, this video anonymously. And then she's so offended by it that she goes back to try to track where it came from. And the email address is gone. So somebody sent it, created the address, created the address, and then deleted the address because they knew that they were going to inflict some damage.

[Unspecified Female Co-host]

Hold up.

[Tracy]

Is this really just your way of playing something for me?

[Unspecified Female Co-host]

Cause you're trying to send me a message?

[Burchill]

No, because I'm with Jen. I really didn't know what the definition of smug was. So it couldn't be me saying that you were smug because I really didn't know what smug was. But we found out today it is

[Unspecified Female Co-host]

a high level of self satisfaction.

[Burchill]

Right.

[Jen]

That still doesn't sound. I mean, it's almost like a condescending kind of. I don't know. Smug does seem to me to have that Connotation? I don't know. Yeah, you know it when you see it.

[Burchill]

People used to call it called George Bush, George W. Smug all the time because he just had sort of that look like he knew something that you didn't. And he was very sexy.

[Unspecified Female Co-host]

No matter what he was talking about, his lips turned up so he always looked like.

[Burchill]

I get it. You don't. But it doesn't matter to me because I get it.

[Unspecified Female Co-host]

Right.

[Burchill]

Dear Burchill, I'm so pissed right now. Somebody sent this to me yesterday. It's not an email I even knew. And the address has been eliminated anyway. And then they write the F word. Coward. Like Tracy. I'm pregnant with my first baby. I don't think I'm smug at all. Why would someone send this to me? Is it possible that someone I know is jealous that I'm pregnant and she's not?

[Jen]

Oh, well, there's a smug coming.

[Unspecified Female Co-host]

That's pretty smug.

Wow.

[Jen]

You don't even have to play this for me. You're smug.

[Burchill]

She might be right. That right there might be your definition of smug that we were looking for.

[Unspecified Female Co-host]

Exactly.

[Burchill]

I think I know who it is, too. Well, if your husband wasn't too much of a child to actually want to have kids, maybe you wouldn't be so bitter with the B word.

[Tracy]

Yeah, she does deserve a smug video,

[Burchill]

so she may have got this one. Anyway, I wanted to share this with you guys because I knew Tracy would be as offended as I am. I will find out who sent it to from Catherine. Been listening to you guys since I moved here from Lansing. Love you guys. All right, so here is the song. And again, there is one line in here. It's just like, oh, come on, you need to go there. And it's two women just sitting in front of video and just doing their little acoustic thing here. And they've got a series of videos on YouTube right now.

[Unspecified Female Co-host]

This is a song for all you

[Tracy]

pregnant women out there.

[Unspecified Female Co-host]

Pregnant women are smug. Everyone knows it. Nobody says it because they're pregnant. Every son of a gun you make it so deep now you give me the creeks now that you're pregnant I can't count all the ways how you speak in clear so do you want a boy or girl?

Oh, it doesn't matter as long as it's healthy.

Really? Because I don't feel like those two things are related.

[Tracy]

It's not like one or the other.

[Unspecified Female Co-host]

Not really. As long as it's healthy.

I can't wait to hear someone say, don't care if it's brain dead. Don't care if it's limbless if it has a penis. Pregnant women are smug. Everyone knows it. Nobody says it because they're pregnant. This is a world you're enjoying.

Makes you really annoying.

So is it a boy or a girl?

Oh, no, but we're not telling. When are you gonna name it? Oh, we know, but we're not telling.

[Jen]

Who's the father?

[Unspecified Female Co-host]

Oh, we know, but we're not telling.

Bitch. I don't really care. I was being polite now since you have my life now that you're pregnant Say you're walking on air? You think that you're glowing? But you've been hoeing and now you're pregn. You're just giving birth now. You're not mother Earth now.

[Tracy]

Oh my gosh, I have so much going on.

[Unspecified Female Co-host]

I got my novel published, I moved, I got married.

Gosh, you know, everything seems so trivial now that I'm pregnant.

Gang violence in Mexico and I raped.

I can't even really remember what I did before I was pregnant. It seems so meaningless.

Pregnant women are smart. Everyone knows it. Nobody says it cause they're pregnant. You're so deep now. You give me the creeps now. Now that you're pregnant.

[Jen]

Oh, God, that's funny.

[Burchill]

Are you guilty of saying any of those things over the last few years?

[Tracy]

I would like to say that I'm offended, but I agree with the song. I totally agree. Like the whole thing about. You know, when people say, well, do you want a boy or a girl? There's so much pressure to say, oh, I just want it to be healthy. But honestly, I wanted a girl. I could never say it until I was having it. But it's true that you can still have a boy or a girl and they still be healthy. Just because I want one or the other doesn't mean I want a sick baby.

[Jen]

Seriously, Tracy hasn't been.

[Unspecified Female Co-host]

No, I don't think you've condescending at all. I don't think you have at all.

[Jen]

I'm still laughing at you.

[Unspecified Female Co-host]

I know people who have.

[Burchill]

I can't even remember what I did

[Unspecified Female Co-host]

before I said it.

Yes.

[Jen]

Everything since so trivial.

[Unspecified Female Co-host]

I got pregnant.

[Jen]

It's great. Life before children is trivial.

[Unspecified Female Co-host]

Good morning, Devin.

[Burchill]

You're on Q100.

[Unspecified Female Co-host]

Hey, I was just saying that I really think it doesn't matter if you're smug for nine months because you are about to work harder than you ever have for the rest of your life to be a parent. Yes, ma'.

[Burchill]

Am.

[Unspecified Female Co-host]

In terms of nine months of being pampered and, you know, whatever people think it's being smug.

[Burchill]

That's your definition of smug, right?

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