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A
Listen, it's the vert show, all right? This should be the last day for all or nothing trivia, right? Please.
B
Yesterday should have been the last day.
C
I can't take the email anymore. Yeah, I know the answer. I know number five.
B
I know.
C
Like, you tell me in the email, and I'm gonna give you the prize. All the prizes right there. No, it doesn't work that way on the phone. And make all five guesses and get all five right. And I don't even know who the fifth person is. I don't either.
A
Melissa, what is the question that we've been playing with for the last five days?
C
Who are the top five most endowed men in Hollywood? That's what this list is. And all or nothing trivia work that Bert asked this question, and then you give five answers, because there are five answers. And then he tells you how many you got right, but not which ones you got right. And if you've been listening over the past few days, then you'll see this pattern form. And the reason I tease about everybody saying I know number five is because pretty much, if you've been listening, you know four of the five already, and
A
Jen gave you a big old hint yesterday who the fifth guy was. And every day we add another prize. So check out this list of prizes, y'.
B
All.
A
The first day, it was John Mayer in concert at Aaron, so that stays in there. And second day was 60 minute massage at the Intercontinental Buckhead. Then we gave you 50 bucks to Fideaux. These are all on the line for today. We're not taking anything back. Okay, Tickets to Lady Antebellum at Aaron's Amphitheater in May Facial from Soothe Massage Studio. Yesterday was a pair of tickets to Lilith Fair at Aaron's. And today, Sheryl Crowe and Colby Calais tickets.
C
Nice. Awesome.
A
So the stakes are high. It's a big old prize here. All you gotta do is get all five right.
C
All big old answers.
A
Hey, Josh. Good morning. Big yellow.
B
This is me.
A
Yeah. Are you Josh?
B
Yeah, yeah, it's cheater Josh from yesterday.
A
Hey, man, what's going on?
B
I think I got it, man. I'm gonna need a drum roll for it.
A
Okay. You're sure you got it this time?
B
That's confidence. I did a lot of research yesterday,
C
so I'm hoping I got it okay.
A
I mean, did you go to Hollywood,
C
check out, like, flew out to la, lined them up.
B
You already ready?
C
Yes.
A
Wait, wait, wait, wait.
C
Hold on.
A
I mean, if you say this thing's over, I'm gonna give you the trombones. Or whatever.
B
Yeah, yeah, I'm gonna need it.
A
Here it is.
C
Here we are. He's gonna give you the trombones.
A
Who are the five guys with the biggest trombones in? Calm down, Jake.
B
I got Leonardo DiCaprio, Ashton Kutcher, Jamie Foxx, David Spade and Hugh Jackman.
A
You are wrong. You got four.
B
And he's the youngest of five, man. And I love every well endowed.
A
Sorry, man.
B
I appreciate it.
A
405.
B
Bye.
A
Bye.
C
Appreciate the research.
A
Don't go away. Just go away. Sonya, good morning. You are on Q100.
B
Hi, Bert, how are you? Good.
A
Sonia, how are you?
B
Good, good. I have it.
C
Okay, here we are.
A
Here they are all five now.
B
Okay. Jamie Foxx, Ashton Kutcher, Leo DiCaprio, David Spade and Jack Black.
C
I don't want to think about that. You want to think about David Spade? No.
B
Different strokes for different folks. Somebody likes them.
A
Sonya, you got four correct.
B
Are you kidding me?
A
I am not kidding you.
B
Oh, thank you.
A
Okay, bye. Bye.
C
That's why I listen to the fish
B
most of the time.
C
Hate those guys and they're stupid. Objectifying of men.
A
Sam, good morning. You are on Q100.
B
Good morning. Good morning. Leonardo DiCaprio, Ashton Kutcher, Jamie Foxx, David Spade and Denzel Washington.
A
Denzel Washington. You got four of five.
B
Thanks, guys.
A
All right, bye.
B
Bye.
C
I love that dudes are answering this.
B
Yeah, I don't. Cause like, if my friend won it, I would have to give him a lot of grief and then go with him to Lilith fair.
C
Lot of chicks there.
A
Good morning to Jill. You are on Q100.
B
Hi. Hey. Hey, how are y'? All?
C
Good.
A
Doing good. How are you?
B
I'm good.
A
All right, let's get to this thing. We're looking for the five celebrities that are known as being the best endowed in Hollywood.
B
Okay. Jamie Foxx, Jamie Moon, Ashton Kutcher, Anthony Moon, Leonardo DiCaprio, David Spade.
A
There you go.
B
And David Arquette.
A
David Arquette. She says, okay, we're done.
C
That's it.
A
David Arquette.
C
Really?
B
I gotta go for the clue too.
A
David Arquette.
B
And then I check last night and he's younger than 5.
C
Is it just me or the fact that only one black man is on this list? Fascinating.
A
It almost discredits it. It almost discredits the whole list.
B
Does anybody find it out?
C
It credits why they've stayed married for so long.
B
David Arquette.
A
It is actually a top 10 list. The other five guys on the list are this. Jamie Kennedy is on the top 10 list, but not in the top five. Brian Austin Green is on the list. He was guest at one point. Jared Leto.
C
Leto.
A
Leto is on the list. Andy Dick. Come on.
B
No.
C
Come on. No.
A
And a guy I'm not too familiar with, Michael Rosenbaum. He plays Lex Luthor on Smallville, is in the top 10 also. But Jill, you got all of those prizes. All right, There you go.
C
Jill, you should go brag to all your friends today.
B
I know. I'm so excited.
A
That was me on Q100 telling them who had the biggest penises in Hollywood.
B
That was me. Fiance was not happy about me calling today.
A
So for those of you just checking it out today, Leonardo DiCaprio, Ashton Kutcher, Jamie Foxx, David Arquette and David Spade. All the five most well endowed celebrities in Hollywood. All right, Joe, you got it all. Sheryl Crowe tickets. Colby Calais, Lilith Fair, Soothe Massage Studio, Lady Antebellum. We're sending you to Fideaux 60 Minute Massage at the Intercontinental Buckhead. And you got tickets to John Mayer also.
B
Thank you, guys.
C
Congratulations. Have a great weekend. You too.
A
You earned it. Bye. Bye.
B
Bye.
A
You're on the Birch Show.
Air Date: July 22, 2026
Hosts: Bert, Kristin, and Show Cast
Episode Theme: Final round of “All or Nothing Trivia”—Top 5 Most Well-Endowed Men in Hollywood
In this light-hearted and irreverent installment of The Bert Show’s “Vault” series, the cast wraps up a week-long game segment: "All or Nothing Trivia," focused on guessing the top five most well-endowed male celebrities in Hollywood. High-energy banter, a parade of call-in contestants, and escalating prizes culminate in the episode’s crowning of a grand prize winner. Laughter, cheeky jokes, and tongue-in-cheek commentary define the tone.
“Who are the top five most endowed men in Hollywood? … Then he tells you how many you got right, but not which ones you got right.” — C, 00:25
“So the stakes are high. It's a big old prize here.” — A, 01:25
Several contestants phone in, each trying different combinations. The hosts respond in good humor, playing off “trombones” as a euphemism and offering playful commentary.
Josh (“Cheater Josh”):
Sonya:
Sam:
Leonardo DiCaprio
Ashton Kutcher
Jamie Foxx
David Arquette
David Spade
Additional names rounding out the top 10 (not in correct order): Jamie Kennedy, Brian Austin Green, Jared Leto, Andy Dick, Michael Rosenbaum.
This episode delivers the final, raucous chapter in a week-long game, blending cheeky humor and energetic morning-show camaraderie. It highlights the culmination of escalating stakes and persistent listeners eager to claim a quirky yet coveted prize arsenal. The Bert Show remains true to its brand of authentic, laughter-driven entertainment.