Vault: Apple releases the iPad

Summary

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The Bert Show – "Vault: Apple Releases the iPad" (June 16, 2026)

Episode Overview

This "Vault" episode of The Bert Show revisits the landmark moment when Apple introduced the iPad. The hosts reminisce about the initial reactions, features, limitations, and cultural reception of the first-generation iPad, blending tech geekery, humor, and a touch of skepticism. Central themes include Apple's track record of innovation, the iPad's potential to shift how we use technology, and a lively discussion (and roasting) of the now-iconic name.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. The Cast’s Backgrounds with Tech (01:23–01:48)

• The show’s usual “tech geek” Jeff is absent. Others—mainly PC users—admit to feeling out of their depth with new gadgets.
  • "He's the tech geek, the technology geek on the show…But he's not an Apple dude. He's a PC dude." – Co-host 1, Co-host 2 (01:23–01:46)
  • "I'm a PC guy also. And I'm really not a technology guy. I just don't have a lot of time for it." – Co-host 1 (01:48–02:10)

2. What’s the Big Deal About the iPad? (02:10–03:09)

• The show contrasts the iPad’s ambition with earlier Apple innovations like the iPhone, emphasizing Apple’s habit of dictating tech trends.
  • "Anytime Apple introduces something, when Steve Jobs is at the helm, it tends to change the course of where technology goes." – Co-host 2 (02:10–02:38)
• Early confusion about the name (“iPad” vs. alternatives like “iTab”) and skepticism about how well the design will work.

3. The iPad’s Features and Early Criticisms (03:09–04:44)

• Hosts outline the headline features: watching movies, internet browsing, eBook reading, email.
• They stress the iPad is not just “an Apple version of the Kindle”—it can do more, but it also has notable shortcomings.
  • "It's not like the Apple version of the Kindle. It's got more function than the Kindle." — Co-host 3 (03:09–03:12)
• Discuss a list titled "Eight Things That Suck About the iPad":

  • No multitasking support at launch

  • Absence of a camera

  • Awkward, less-than-revolutionary touch keyboard

  • Lack of Flash support for web browsing

  • "No multitasking. It's a backbreaker...there's no cameras...the touch keyboard people are complaining about..." – Co-host 1 (03:45–04:22)

  • "There's no Flash on it either. So some of the websites that you go to are really going to feel incomplete because it doesn't support Flash." – Co-host 1 (04:44–04:50)

4. Web Technologies & the Future of Flash (04:50–05:39)

• Discussion on why Flash isn’t supported, and how web developers are moving away from it for mobile compatibility.
  • "My brother…was telling me…now is programming for mobile devices. You're not programming for computers anymore." – Co-host 3 (04:58–05:17)
  • "All that stuff is kind of antiquated at this point...programmers are getting further away from that because of mobile devices and things like this." – Co-host 3 (05:17–05:29)

5. The Controversial Name: “iPad” (05:39–06:18)

• Hosts zero in on the discomfort, especially among women, with the name “iPad” due to its association with feminine hygiene products.
  • "It's the name that seems to really be rubbing people the wrong way, especially women. And Apple should be smarter than this." – Co-host 1 (05:39–05:56)
  • "Pad to a woman means something very different. It doesn't mean notebook to us." – Co-host 3 (05:56–06:05)

6. Steve Jobs Sells the iPad (06:18–06:38)

• The hosts play a clip from the announcement for comic effect, where Jobs enthusiastically touts the iPad’s user experience:
  • "'What this device does is extraordinary. You can browse the web with it. It is the best browsing experience you've ever had. It's phenomenal to see a whole webpage right in front of you and you can manipulate with your fingers.'" — Steve Jobs audio clip (06:22–06:38)

7. Pop Culture & MADtv Prediction (06:38–07:55)

• They discuss a MADtv skit that parodied the name “iPad” long before the actual product release, reinforcing the name’s weird cultural resonance.
  • The hosts play audio from the skit: “I hook up my Apple to my peach and I can download protection…” (07:33–07:40)
  • “Each iPad comes pre installed with vaginal firewall protection.” (07:56–08:02)
• Hosts note how product naming meetings often don’t heed women’s objections.

8. Office Dynamics and Gender Perspectives (08:02–09:13)

• Discussion pivots to broader office culture, where decisions (especially by men) can overlook women's viewpoints—using anecdotes from their own work.
  • "Once a guy has his mindset...he's gonna—no, this is what it's gonna be called." – Co-host 2 (08:22–08:36)
  • "Listen to the women in the office. That's right." – Co-host 1 (09:13)

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Apple’s Cultural Impact:
  "Anytime Apple introduces something, when Steve Jobs is at the helm, it tends to change the course of where technology goes." – Co-host 2 (02:10)

• On Early iPad Gripes:
  "No multitasking...there's no cameras...the touch keyboard people are complaining about..." – Co-host 1 (03:45)

• On the Name Controversy:
  "Pad to a woman means something very different. It doesn't mean notebook to us." – Co-host 3 (05:56)

• MADtv Parody Highlight:
  "Each iPad comes pre installed with vaginal firewall protection." – Comedic Skit Voice (07:56)

• On Ignoring Women's Feedback:
  "Once a guy has his mindset...he's gonna—no, this is what it's gonna be called." – Co-host 2 (08:22)

• Call for Inclusion:
  "Listen to the women in the office. That's right." – Co-host 1 (09:13)

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Important Timestamps

• 01:23 – Show’s “tech guy” is out; co-hosts admit hesitance with new tech
• 02:10 – Apple’s influence and “iPad” versus “iTab” name debate
• 03:45 – Rundown of “eight things that suck” about the iPad
• 04:50 – Flash’s absence and the future of web programming
• 05:39 – Discussion turns to the iPad’s problematic name
• 06:22 – Steve Jobs’ introduction clip played
• 07:07 – MADtv parody skit of the “iPad” played
• 08:22 – Discussion of how men’s decisions dominate product meetings
• 09:13 – Call for better listening to women's perspectives

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Tone and Takeaways

The hosts bring their signature blend of humor, honesty, and light teasing to the topic, mixing genuine tech curiosity with skepticism and social awareness. The episode places the iPad’s release not only in a technical spotlight but also a cultural one—especially in how companies name and market products. It’s a nostalgic look back that feels relevant to ongoing conversations about tech and inclusivity.

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For listeners new to the episode:
You'll hear a blend of Wired-style gadget talk, sharp-witted banter about tech culture, and candid, insightful takes on how influential products like the iPad land (for better or worse) in popular culture.

Transcript

[Host]

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[Co-host 1]

Spin Quest is a free to play social casino void where prohibited. Visit spinquest.com for more details. Listen, it's the vert show, so I wish Jeff was here today. He's out in LA actually and he's pitching those TV shows. Yeah, in la. But he obviously is the tech geek, the technology geek on the show.

[Co-host 2]

But he's not an Apple dude.

[Co-host 1]

But he's not an Apple dude. But Melissa Carter is.

[Co-host 2]

He's a PC dude. Yeah, he's the PC dude.

[Co-host 1]

So I'm a PC guy also. And I'm really not a technology guy. I just don't have a lot of time for it. I just. The learning curve on anything that comes out like that freaks me out because I just don't feel like I've got the time to learn how to use stuff like this. So. So I'm still at the basics, but I know the iPad came out yesterday and I read about it a whole bunch yesterday, and tell me what the big deal is.

[Co-host 2]

Well, I just think that anytime Apple introduces something, when Steve Jobs is at the helm, that it tends to change the course of where technology goes. Because when you think about it, the iPhone came out, it was the first touchscreen phone, and now you have several smartphones that have come out in that direction. And so with the iPad, which I do think ipod iPad, because I thought it'd be the Itablet or something, but basically it's just itab. Itab would have been cool.

[Co-host 3]

Great name.

[Co-host 2]

Yeah. It's just I think that what they're trying to do is merge a laptop with a smartphone, you know where.

[Co-host 1]

But this isn't a phone.

[Co-host 2]

No, but what I'm saying is that, you know, like a laptop, you have the screen and then you have the keyboard, and he's just trying to get rid of the keyboard and the wire. So it's basically just a big tablet that. That's a touchscreen that you can do everything on is what the future is leading to.

[Co-host 1]

So you can watch movies on this thing, you can surf the Internet on it, you can download books on it. Also you can email.

[Co-host 3]

It's not like the Apple version of the Kindle. It's got more function than the Kindle.

[Co-host 2]

More function than the Kindle, for sure. Yeah. Kindle just books. Yeah. But I mean, I'm a big Apple head and all I've ever had is Apple. I've never owned a PC in my life, but one of those things. And Jeff and I were talking about it yesterday and I said, but it's one of those things that let it come out, let people play with it, find the kinks, find what's missing. Apple will come up with another generation of it and it'll improve. Because I've read about how people are, you know, frustrated by there's no camera on it, you know, they can't take pictures with it. They can't do some of the things that they can do, you know, like with their smartphone or even with their laptop. So here are.

[Co-host 1]

I printed this off this morning. This will make more sense to you than it does me. These are the eight things that suck about the iPad. The name. Yeah, that's what we're going to focus on here in a second. But no multitasking. It's a backbreaker. This is supposed to be a replacement for netbooks, but how can it possibly not have multitasking like you said there's no cameras on it. The touch keyboard people are complaining about. So much for Apple revolutionizing tablet inputs. This is the same big, ugly touchscreen keyboard we've seen on other tablets. And unless you're lying on the couch with your knees popping up, it's awkward to use well.

[Co-host 2]

And I think people are going to always complain about something new because it's not a laptop, it doesn't fold up, it doesn't fit in. You know, like, I don't think it was meant to sit in your lap necessarily. You know what I mean? Like, I just think it's, it's just trying to introduce new technology where, you know, eventually you get rid of. Yeah, you get rid of the wires and the keyboard and everything. And it's just one, you know, it's just one thing that you have that can do everything. And there's obviously can't do everything yet

[Co-host 1]

there's no Flash on it either. So some of the websites that you go to are really going to feel incomplete because it doesn't support Flash, which

[Co-host 2]

I think is the biggest, biggest setback on that. I wonder why they didn't think of that.

[Co-host 1]

I'm sure they thought of it, but they made a decision and I think

[Co-host 3]

for web programmers, they're getting further away from Flash because everything has to be mobile friendly now. Like so. Because my brother does that in New York and so he was telling me he just went to like some big conference about how like everybody in that programming world now is programming for mobile devices. Like you're not programming. You're not programming for computers anymore.

[Co-host 1]

Yeah, we just put together all that

[Co-host 3]

whole Flash, like all that stuff is kind of antiquated at this point. Like not antiquated, but it's kind of. Programmers are getting further away from that because of mobile devices and things like this.

[Co-host 2]

Certainly mobile devices are the ones that are behind because it doesn't handle Flash, you know, because I do think that eventually, you know, the mobile devices will get sleek enough to handle it. But, you know, we just designed a

[Co-host 1]

new Burt's Big Adventure website and one of the top things of mine was people downloading stuff and getting information off of their mobile phones. And we designed it for that, so couldn't support Flash also. But it's the name that seems to really be rubbing people the wrong way, especially women. And Apple should be smarter than this.

[Co-host 3]

They should be smarter than this. And I'm sure somebody brought it up. They're smart people. But Pad to a Woman means something very different. It doesn't mean notebook to us.

[Co-host 2]

It's not something fun to think about. Yeah. Because I think, and I really think the ipod iPad, I'm sure that they just thought it would just be, you know, the seamless transition. But yeah, I think itab would have been much better. Much better known, much better idea.

[Co-host 1]

Here's Steve Jobs yesterday telling you how great the I pad is.

[Ad Voice 1]

What this device does is extraordinary. You can browse the web with it. It is the best browsing experience you've ever had. It's phenomenal to see a whole webpage right in front of you and you can manipulate with your fingers.

[Co-host 1]

So there he is on stage for a while last night and he's telling everybody how great this thing is. Now, this is pretty interesting. MADtv, which isn't even a TV show anymore, predicted they were doing a parody and they called it the iPad. Okay, and. And it was a funny skit back then, and it was pretty much playing off the name of iPad. Which is exactly your concern about this whole thing that women hear the word pad and it has a completely different meaning.

[Ad Voice 1]

Right?

[Co-host 1]

Totally, Lindsey.

[Comedic Skit Voice]

Great job in the sales meeting. Hey, do you have a pad I can borrow? Sure, here you go. No, you know, the other kind of pad. I can't believe you said still use maxi pads. I know, I just, I have a narrow cervix and so it's painful for me to inspect now. No, no, no, I meant why use a maxi pad when there's the new iPad from Apple.

[Co-host 2]

IPad?

[Comedic Skit Voice]

With the new iPad, I just hook up my Apple to my peach and I can download protection for thousands of lights.

[Co-host 2]

There's a cord going up leading up that.

[Comedic Skit Voice]

And with wireless Bluetooth technology, I can set you up for fast pack uploading without all that water bloating. Wow, that's great. But what if my computer has a virus?

[Ad Voice 2]

Don't.

[Comedic Skit Voice]

Each iPad comes pre installed with vaginal firewall protection.

[Co-host 1]

So it's the same thing that you guys were concerned about. Cause you know somebody in that meeting, because I'm assuming there are 15 people around a table and they're all trying to figure out exactly what they're gonna call this thing. It's a bunch of dudes, mostly, but there's one or two women in the room too, maybe, maybe half. And they express their concerns. But the guys are like, oh, you're overthinking that now.

[Co-host 2]

We've been in meetings with men and women in the meeting, and once a guy has his mindset, you know, somebody in the room who may not be in the room has his mind set on something. It doesn't matter what you say. He's gonna. No, this is what it's gonna be called.

[Co-host 3]

Well, we talked about it when we were creating the new entertainment buzz thing and the guys were coming up with all kinds of stuff. And so the first thing that came back, we was the big voice guy. If it's rumored, leaked or blah blah blah, then you'll hear it in Jen Hobby. And I said leaked is really not the word we want to start with.

[Ad Voice 2]

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[Co-host 2]

Q100 again, a whole different meaning.

[Co-host 1]

So we changed it.

[Host]

So we did.

[Co-host 3]

So we was like, I would have never even thought of. I'm like, yeah, we can't lead with if it's leaked.

[Host]

No.

[Co-host 2]

And when it comes to technology, most women like are going to look toward the apple at least if not buy it. And so yeah, that was kind of dumb.

[Co-host 1]

Listen to the women in the office. That's right is the Birch show.

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