Vault: Are his parents hoarders?

Summary

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The Bert Show – “Vault: Are His Parents Hoarders?”

Date: June 26, 2026
Hosts: Bert, Melissa (co-host), featuring listener calls

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Episode Overview

In this episode, the Bert Show dives into the all-too-relatable dilemma of parental hoarding, exploring why older generations struggle to let go of possessions and how these behaviors get passed down. With a mix of humor and personal anecdotes, Bert and Melissa unpack the emotional, psychological, and generational underpinnings of “keeping everything—just in case.” The conversation covers stories from their own families, weighing nostalgia against practicality, and features a call-in from a listener experiencing a similar situation. The tone is candid, nostalgic, and filled with plenty of good-natured ribbing and laughs.

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Key Discussion Points and Insights

1. Opening Up the Hoarding Conversation

(01:30 – 03:20)

• Bert raises the issue directly: “I think my parents are hoarders.” He explains the situation with his parents keeping an old, barely functional television even after he gifted them a new one.
• Melissa relates, immediately recognizing the pattern as a generational trait.

Notable Quote:
“I could not talk him out of keeping that television. And it’s now in the basement, literally in a corner of junk now.”
— Bert (03:46)

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2. Generational Mindset – Why Do They Keep Everything?

(03:56 – 05:34)

• Melissa attributes the behavior to being children of Depression-era parents, highlighting a “you never know when you’ll need it” survival mentality.
• She shares a vivid story about her late father hoarding even used dental floss, underscoring the deeply ingrained frugality.

Notable Quote:
“He would save the thread of dental floss that he had used to use it for later… It’s that mentality of, like, you never know when you’re gonna need it.”
— Melissa (04:23)

• Bert challenges the idea that keeping broken or outdated items is practical, especially when functionality is gone: “It’s not a good TV. Everything is gray.” (05:07)

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3. Struggles to Break the Habit

(05:36 – 06:45)

• Melissa discusses the difficulty her mother faced with letting go, especially after her father’s death, emphasizing how moving houses was the only way real decluttering happened.
• Magazines and other collections come up as notorious clutter, with both Bert and Melissa joking about stacks of National Geographic and Reader’s Digest.

Memorable Moment:
“Readers Digest in the back of the toilet. Yeah.”
— Melissa (05:54)

• Bert tells a story about his dad proudly selling an old boat engine, thinking this would start a new phase of decluttering, but realizing his dad was only willing to get rid of truly useless scrap.

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4. It's Not Just Their Families—Listener Call-In

(07:37 – 08:10)

• The show takes a caller, Ivory, who shares how his mother from North Carolina keeps two tables with full sets of chairs in a tiny 10x10 kitchen “just in case” guests arrive.

Notable Quote:
“You never know when you might have company… You never know where those people might come over.”
— Bert (08:03)

• Melissa and Bert laugh, recognizing the universal nature of holding onto stuff for highly unlikely scenarios.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments (with Timestamps)

• “I think my parents are hoarders.”
  — Bert (01:40)
• “You never know when you're gonna need it."
  — Melissa (04:22)
• “It's not a good TV. Everything is gray.”
  — Bert (05:07)
• “Readers Digest in the back of the toilet. Yeah.”
  — Melissa (05:54)
• “You never know when you might have company… You never know where those people might come over.”
  — Bert (08:03)

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Important Segments / Timestamps

• 01:30–03:20: Bert’s story about the TV and catalyzing the larger hoarding discussion
• 03:56–05:34: Melissa’s family background and generational insights
• 05:36–06:45: Deep dive into the struggles of letting go, highlighting magazine hoarding
• 07:37–08:10: Listener call-in presents another real-life scenario

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Conclusion

The episode provides a humorous yet empathetic perspective on why older generations cling to their possessions and how those habits echo into the next. Both hosts reflect on generational values, the psychological roots of hoarding, and the sometimes comical, sometimes frustrating efforts to help loved ones let go. The candid and relatable stories, swapped between the cast and their listeners, demonstrate that nearly every family harbors a closet, a basement corner, or a guest room full of “just in case” treasures.

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For more stories and listener participation, visit: thebertshow.com

Transcript

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Visit your nearby Lowe's.

[Host (Birch Show)]

This is the Birch show. Melissa, I have a question. Are you about your mom?

[Co-host (Birch Show, possibly Melissa)]

Yes.

[Host (Birch Show)]

Cause I need to know if your mom's like my parents.

[Co-host (Birch Show, possibly Melissa)]

Yes.

[Host (Birch Show)]

Because here's the dilemma that I have run into.

[Co-host (Birch Show, possibly Melissa)]

Okay.

[Host (Birch Show)]

I think my parents are hoarders.

[Caller or Guest on Birch Show]

Okay.

[Co-host (Birch Show, possibly Melissa)]

Why is that?

[Host (Birch Show)]

Because we go back to visit and they have stuff that they don't like. And I'll give you a perfect example.

[Co-host (Birch Show, possibly Melissa)]

Well, first, their age, like age range.

[Host (Birch Show)]

My dad's in his early 70s. My mom's in her mid-60s.

[Co-host (Birch Show, possibly Melissa)]

I think that's very important.

[Host (Birch Show)]

And my dad, who has the problem. And I have seen it develop with me. I've seen I have the tendencies. So I'm trying to break those and I'm trying to help my parents break those habits as well. But I will give you the perfect example. We were up there visiting a couple weeks ago for the weekend and it was Valentine's weekend and my parents had a TV that was, I don't know how old, but the color had gotten so faded that it was like everything was kind of brownish, right? And it was just big old, like old school tv.

[Co-host (Birch Show, possibly Melissa)]

Like tube TV where it's big box.

[Host (Birch Show)]

Yep. Old school tv. Well, so I was at their house and I saw an ad in the local paper for a flat screen tv. That would fit within their thing that was on sale for like half off, discontinued, whatever. That's floor model, something like that. It was an incredible deal. And I said, you know what I'm gonna do? I'm gonna buy that from my parents and I'm just gonna bring it over and I'm gonna take the old one out and put the new one in. So I did that. It was great, right? So then I say to my dad. Cause I don't want him carrying the big old tv. I'm like, hey, do you wanna pull the car out and I'll just put this in the trunk and then you can take it to wherever and donate it or do whatever. And he goes, no, put it in the basement.

[Lowe's Advertiser (short lines) / Avocado Mattress Advertiser]

What?

[Co-host (Birch Show, possibly Melissa)]

Yeah.

[Host (Birch Show)]

And I go, why do you want me to put it in the basement? Because if I carry it down, you have to carry it up. And. Yeah, I don't want you carrying stuff up the stairs. It's a heavy tv. And he goes, well, what am I going to do with it in the car? And I said, well, do anything. Drive to a church. Drive to a. You know, whatever they're called. You know those shops like the Goodwill. Goodwill Door. Thank you. Yeah, something like that. I said, take it to a pawn store and they'll give you 10 bucks for it. Whatever, just put it in the car.

[Co-host (Birch Show, possibly Melissa)]

Just get rid of it.

[Host (Birch Show)]

No, no, no, no, no. Put it in the basement. And I could not talk him out of keeping that television. And it's now in the basement, literally in a corner of junk now, you

[Co-host (Birch Show, possibly Melissa)]

know, because my mom, Millie Peach, she's 80 now, so about the same age, a little older than your parents. But yes, I think that is a generational thing. The reason I asked their age is because you have to remember these are the people of the Depression, the children of the Depression, not the adults. And these are the children of those that went through the stock market crash. So at the time of the stock market crash, everybody was having to keep stuff because they were running out of things. So you never knew when you're going to get the next whatever, right? So my mother and father were that way their entire lives. Like, my father has passed away, so hopefully he's not going to like haunt me because of this telling the story. But we would foster him because he. It was so bad that we would be on a road trip and he would, like, if, I don't know, he'd use dental floss or whatever. He would save the thread of dental floss that he had used to use it for later. Like, he wouldn't throw away the string of dental floss that he had just used. Because it's almost like we're like, dad, there's plenty. There's plenty of dental floss in the drugstores and in the grocery stores. You don't have to save that piece. But it's that mentality of, like, you never know when you're gonna need it. Your father's like, you know what? That's a good tv. It still works.

[Host (Birch Show)]

It's not a good tv. Everything is gray.

[Co-host (Birch Show, possibly Melissa)]

It worked. But it works in his mind. He's like, you never know when you're gonna need it again. And then here. Here we are in our generation that we just. I think we, you know, waste a lot of stuff. So we're like the complete opposite of them. But, yeah, Mom's the same way. I think it was just when my father passed away, I think we finally. She moved from one house to the other. And so I think that move was a good way for us, her three children, to say, you've got to get rid of all this stuff.

[Host (Birch Show)]

And was she okay with getting rid of it?

[Co-host (Birch Show, possibly Melissa)]

No, I think that it was. I mean, because you talk about magazines like National Geographics. What are you going to do with all those National. Did you even read.

[Host (Birch Show)]

Yes.

[Co-host (Birch Show, possibly Melissa)]

My parents saved National Geographics Digest. What do you need those Readers Digest for? The read on the toilet.

[Host (Birch Show)]

The best was.

[Co-host (Birch Show, possibly Melissa)]

That's where they always sat in my house. Yes. Readers Digest in the back of the toilet. Yeah.

[Host (Birch Show)]

The best was the. My dad calls me a couple of years ago. Well, I sold that old boat engine. I go, what? They're like, yeah, the boat engine that was under the stairs in the basement. I'm like, I didn't even know we had a motor for a boat under there. And he goes, yep. Sold it to a guy, and he was all proud of himself because he sold it to a guy who had an antique boat, you know, and this engine was, like, the original engine for the boat. So he sold it to him. So then he realized that, like, he could start cleaning. So I thought he's like, so I'm gonna start cleaning stuff out. I thought he was cleaning things out, you know, like, stuff he wasn't. He's like, he's selling metal for scrap and stuff. Like, he's not selling anything worthwhile or getting rid of anything that could be useful, like if a screwdriver handle broke off and he kept the metal part.

[Co-host (Birch Show, possibly Melissa)]

But he learned that from his parents, because that's what they did back Then and now. I mean, for our listeners. I mean, Jeff and my parents were older, but you, I mean, go to your grandparents or your great grandparents, if they're still living, they're home. And you will see there is some. The basement, a guest room, under the bed, in the closet, there is a stack of something just random that they won't get rid of. Like, mom would always keep different types of materials in case she was gonna, you know, make a quilt or something. It's like, well, you don't have to like. I mean, we don't live in the mountains where you have to make the quilt. And that's the only blanket we'll ever have.

[Host (Birch Show)]

Stuffing the quilt with old pairs of jeans.

[Co-host (Birch Show, possibly Melissa)]

Yes.

[Host (Birch Show)]

We gotta stay warm, Melissa. We're gonna freeze, Mom. There's a walking distance.

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[Host (Birch Show)]

What knows what might happen?

[Co-host (Birch Show, possibly Melissa)]

You never know.

[Host (Birch Show)]

It can't be just us, Melissa, because everybody's calling up like I. Good morning, Ivory. Hey, how are you?

[Caller or Guest on Birch Show]

I am great, man.

[Host (Birch Show)]

Same issue, dude.

[Caller or Guest on Birch Show]

The worst. My mom is from North Carolina and I mean, she literally has a 10x10 square foot kitchen that has two, two tables in it with a set of chairs around each table.

[Co-host (Birch Show, possibly Melissa)]

Because you never know.

[Host (Birch Show)]

You never know when you might have company. You never know where those people might come over. It's the Birch show.

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