The Bert Show — “Are You Cheating On Your Partner Without Realizing It?”

Original Air Date: February 26, 2026
Episode Theme: Exploring the concept of “non-traditional cheating”—obsessions, guilty pleasures, and minor deceptions that people hide from their partners, from food and video games to fictional crushes.

Episode Overview

In this playful and revealing episode, The Bert Show crew dives into the question: "Is it possible to cheat on your partner... with something that isn't a person?" Through candid confessions from the hosts and engaging listener calls, the morning team explores the funny, sometimes fraught things people hide from their significant others and the “affairs” we nurture with food, technology, or even fictional characters. The episode is light-hearted yet relatable, blending humor with insight on relationships and hidden habits.

Key Discussion Points and Insights

1. Defining “Non-Traditional Cheating”

• Host Bert opens the topic, inspired by a co-host’s story:
  • “I want people to call that are cheating on your significant other with something other than a person.” (01:30)
  • The idea: Hiding activities or obsessions—like chocolate, video games, or celebrity crushes—from your partner can carry the same secrecy as an affair.

2. Confessions from the Crew

• Host’s PSP Addiction:
  • Bert shares about secretly playing his PSP video game console despite his wife’s disapproval:
    • “Totally cheated on my family with the PSP.” (03:36)
    • This leads to a discussion about hiding small guilty pleasures.
• Non-Sexual Cheating:
  • Co-hosts debate whether these acts count as “cheating” if no one outside the relationship is involved.
    • “It’s almost like non-sexual cheating.” (03:55)
• Technology Obsessions:
  • Survey cited: “35% of people would choose their BlackBerry over their spouse.” (03:57)

3. Listener Calls: Secrets & Obsessions

• Video Game Obsession:
  • Brittany laments her husband’s video game addiction:
    • “I’ve almost left him several times because of it.” (04:44)
    • The host sums up: “So every time he plays, he’s cheating on you.” (04:47)
• Book Crushes:
  • Candace confesses to an obsession with Edward Cullen from Twilight:
    • “I’m cheating on my husband with Edward Cullen from the Twilight Saga.” (05:31)
    • She jokes, “Every time we talk, I’m always talking about Edward.” (06:06)
• Hiding Smoking:
  • John shares that he secretly smokes at work despite telling his wife he quit:
    • “I told her I quit a couple of years ago. I only smoke when I’m at work... but I do feel really guilty about it.” (06:24)
    • The hosts doubt he can really hide the habit.
• Food Affairs:
  • Courtney admits: “I have an obsession with sushi... I get it at least twice a week, three times a week. I know it’s not good for you, but I’m obsessed with it.” (07:06)
    • Her boyfriend jokes that if she ever loves him more than sushi, he’ll know it’s real.
• Pet Jealousy:
  • Tracy talks about the special relationship she has with her Chihuahua:
    • “My husband is really jealous of him now.” (08:40)

4. Common Guilt Triggers:

• Chocolate and Secret Treats:
  • “I’ve got chocolate hidden all around the house.” (09:02)
  • Co-host’s story: Buying brownies, eating some, then hiding the rest at home.
• Sleep, Social Media, and More:
  • Listeners report hiding naps, addictive scrolling on BlackBerry or Facebook, and more.
  • “The BlackBerry is the call that came in over and over and over again.” (09:10)

Notable Quotes & Moments

• On Secret Video Gaming:
  • Bert: “I found myself just picking the thing up and playing for like 30 seconds. Stacy would come downstairs to say hey, and I’d hide it.” (03:33)
• On Book Love:
  • Candace: “I talk about it all the time. And there’s a movie coming out in November.” (05:46)
• On Cigarette Deception:
  • John: “Just, you know, the proper breath mints and colognes have successfully covered it up so far. But I do feel really guilty about it.” (06:26)
• On Pet Jealousy:
  • Show Host: “So your husband is jealous of your dog.” (08:44)
• On Social Media:
  • Co-Host: “I am getting on Facebook. I’m starting a Facebook. I hate the BlackBerry.” (04:18)
• Comic Relief:
  • Co-Host: “There’s three things—two humans and a device—in my bedroom. And it’s not the device you think.” (05:14)

Important Timestamps

• 01:30 — Episode topic and framing: Cheating on your partner with something non-human
• 02:57–03:36 — Host’s PSP video game confession
• 03:57–04:07 — BlackBerry survey; tech “affairs”
• 04:30–04:53 — Brittany’s video game complaint about her husband
• 05:31–06:17 — Candace’s Twilight/Edward Cullen confession
• 06:20–06:59 — John’s secret smoking
• 07:06–07:55 — Courtney’s sushi obsession
• 08:00–08:48 — Tracy’s Chihuahua jealousy story
• 09:02–09:18 — Roundup: callers hiding chocolate, food, naps, and BlackBerry habits

Summary & Tone

With their trademark mix of humor and candor, The Bert Show hosts and callers expose how “cheating” can extend far beyond affairs to include anything we’re a bit too obsessed with—or keep secret from our partners. Whether it’s stashed chocolate, “just one more” video game session, or a full crush on Twilight’s vampire hero, the episode invites listeners to laugh at how human we all are, and how little secrets can both annoy and amuse those who love us.

Useful Takeaway:
What counts as “cheating” in a relationship might not always be obvious or sexual—sometimes, it’s as simple as hiding your weirdest cravings, obsessions, or guilty pleasures in plain sight (or just under the bed).