The Bert Show: “Vault: Are You Flirtexting Wrong? The Women Who Wrote the Book About It”

Original Air Date: April 1, 2026
Guests: Deborah Goldstein & Olivia Baniuszewicz (Authors of Flirtexting)

Episode Overview

This lively episode dives into the art of “flirtexting”—the intersection of flirting and texting—with expert guidance from Deborah Goldstein and Olivia Baniuszewicz, co-authors of Flirtexting: How to Text Your Way to His Heart. The Bert Show cast swaps hilarious personal anecdotes, exposes common texting pitfalls, and quizzes the authors on modern dating etiquette via text message. The discussion is peppered with practical rules, witty banter, and memorably frank advice for anyone navigating the smartphone-era dating scene.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Flirtexting Mishaps: A Case Study in Mistaken Identity

• The episode opens with chaos as the team recounts how Bert texted two different guys, thinking they were the same person, due to not programming names into his phone ([01:03–02:30]).
• Quote:
  “Turns out there’s two different guys and Bert’s texting them, thinking it’s the same guy. Dude, you’re two-timing, dude.” — Cassie ([01:28])

2. Fundamental Flirtexting Rules

• Leave Him Wanting More:
  The authors recommend that “his word should be the last word.” Don’t always reply, especially with one-word confirmations like “K” ([04:00–05:17]).
• Quote:
  “You want him texting more than you’re texting him.” — Olivia ([04:51])
• Timing is Key:
  Don’t feel pressured to respond instantly. “Just because it’s speedy technology does not mean you have to be speedy in your response. Treat it like a letter.” ([05:17–05:38])
• The 24-Hour Rule:
  Take time before texting back, especially if you’re excited: “Take a step back. You can think of something brilliant to write back if you let that excitement contain itself.” — Deborah ([05:51])

3. Avoid “Texting Under the Influence”

• Texting (not just while drunk, but emotionally charged or, humorously, on Ambien) is a big no-no ([06:15–07:20]).
• Quote:
  “You know, I’ve never regretted not texting the next day.” — Kristina quoting her friend ([07:11])
• They suggest having a “sponsor”—a trusted friend who can talk you down from sending rash texts ([07:39]).

4. The Late Night “Booty Text” & Mass-Messaging Red Flags

• LNBT (Late Night Booty Text):
  Anything after 10pm from a guy is usually only for a casual late night meet-up ([08:05–08:56]).
• Quote:
  “If you like the guy, don’t respond till daylight hours the next day. Train him how to treat you.” — Olivia ([08:34])
• Booty Bomb / Mass Texts:
  Beware the obvious copy-paste messages sent en masse to multiple girls. Call guys out with playful sarcasm ([09:07–09:24]).

5. Sex-ting and Suggestive Messaging

• Proceed with Caution:
  Sexting is only for “two mature, committed people in a relationship.” Always assume a text may get forwarded ([09:46–10:16]).
• Unsolicited Pictures:
  “Guys, never send girls pictures unless she asks for them. That is the biggest turn off.” — Deborah ([10:25–10:33])

6. The Importance of Confidence and Chivalry in Texts

• Emphasize being confident and genuine. Chivalry in digital communication still matters ([11:01–11:23]).
• New term: “Flirtextiquette.”

7. Book & Author Highlights

• The book “Flirtexting” is praised as accessible, fun, and full of practical wisdom.
• The challenge of spelling Baniuszewicz’s surname offers comic relief ([11:35–11:38]).

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• “His word should be the last word. It’s almost like leaving a text hook.” — Deborah ([04:00])
• “Never text like a Tar Hero… take a step back.” — Olivia ([05:48])
• “If he writes ‘Okay, I’ll see you at 8,’ don’t text him back ‘K.’ It’s just not necessary.” — Deborah ([05:03])
• “If you’re going out, you know you’re drinking, you can’t train yourself after four shots of Patron. You’re like, ‘This is gonna make perfect sense.’ It never does.” — Olivia ([06:50–06:57])
• “Let your best friend be your safety net… My best friend calls herself my sponsor.” — Bert ([07:47–07:55])
• “You just have to assume that [a sext]’s gonna get out there and proceed with caution.” — Olivia ([09:53])
• “Chivalry never left. And if you’re on a date with a girl, just stow your style… Have a little bit of flirtextiquette.” — Deborah ([11:01–11:23])

Important Segment Timestamps

• [01:03–02:30]: Flirt-messaging disaster story: Bert’s double texting mishap.
• [04:00–05:38]: Ground rules for leaving hooks, last-word strategy, and text pacing.
• [06:15–07:20]: Drunk/impulsive texting and friend “sponsor” strategies.
• [08:05–08:56]: Dealing with late-night “booty” texts.
• [09:07–09:24]: Red flags for mass texts (“booty bombs”).
• [09:46–10:16]: Sexting, unsolicited images, and privacy cautions.
• [11:01–11:23]: Confidence, chivalry, and a new term: “flirtextiquette.”

Conclusion & Takeaways

This episode of The Bert Show is a must-listen for anyone dating or navigating relationships in the age of texting. Equal parts entertaining and insightful, the cast and guests serve up practical, no-nonsense flirtexting advice with authenticity and humor. Remember the cardinal rules: take your time, be confident, never text under the influence, don’t reply to late-night “booty texts,” and always let chivalry inform your digital etiquette.

Book plug: Check out Flirtexting: How to Text Your Way to His Heart by Deborah Goldstein and Olivia Baniuszewicz for more tips.