Vault: Bachelorette Party Slept in Their Van for Front-Row Premiere Access

Summary

The Bert Show – Vault: Bachelorette Party Slept in Their Van for Front-Row Premiere Access

Date: May 19, 2026
Main Contributors: Bert (Show Host), Wendy (Reporter), Jeff (Co-host), Excited Fans

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Episode Overview

This episode captures the chaos, excitement, and high-energy antics from the Knoxville premiere of "New Moon"—the second film in the Twilight saga. It’s a behind-the-barricades look at fandom through the eyes of Wendy, The Bert Show’s on-the-ground reporter, who recounts her experience among dedicated fans (including a legendary bachelorette party), the logistics of working the red carpet, and her near miss with on-screen werewolf heartthrob Taylor Lautner.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Setting the Scene: Anticipation and Fandom Hysteria

• The episode opens with Wendy’s assignment: covering the Knoxville "New Moon" premiere, facing the fear of going full "fangirl" a la infamous viral Twilight fans.
• Wendy and the team replay an iconic “excited fan” audio describing the first trailer viewing—setting the tone for just how intense Twilight fandom can get.
  • Quote: “I couldn’t actually be more excited right now. I am gonna fangirl… Oh, that is one hell of an ass shot.”
    —Excited Fan [02:00–02:14]
• Wendy admits that level of excitement is dangerously close to her own.

2. Knoxville Turns Hollywood: Arrival and Logistics

• Wendy races to Knoxville, describing the heavy security presence and the mass of devoted fans already camped out (some since the previous night).
  • Quote: “There were already girls camping out, and there’s some that have been there since the night before.”
    —Wendy [05:55]
• The highlight: a bachelorette party who drove from Michigan, slept in a van in the parking lot, and secured pole position at the barricades.
  • Quote: “Bachelorette party. Who drove from Michigan the night before? … Sat in the parking lot from 8:30 the night before and got a prime front seat on the barricades.”
    —Wendy [06:17]

3. Red Carpet Mechanics and Strategy

• Wendy details her mission to get close to the stars, refusing bathroom breaks and enlisting other press members for team photo backup.
  • Quote: “As soon as any commotion started going... I am going to talk to Taylor Lautner. I am going to do something.”
    —Wendy [07:42]
• Reports standing at her prime spot from 3:00pm until 8:00pm—no food, no bathroom, all for that one shot at Twilight stardom.

4. Pandemonium Builds: The Crowd’s Energy

• As the crowd swells (six to seven people deep along the barricade), Wendy captures the rising excitement before any celebrities even arrive.
  • Quote: “There were people in trees, climbing trees… trying to just get a glimpse of any of the action.”
    —Wendy [07:00]
• The crowd cheers, screams, and feverishly anticipates seeing the stars.
  • Quote: “The crowd was yelling all day for Taylor and Kristen.”
    —Wendy [09:41]
• During this, Wendy provides real-time crowd audio and colors the mania with first-hand observations.
  • Memorable moment: Discussion of letting a “real werewolf” (or coyote) out of the cars for a true Twilight moment.
    —Jeff [10:33]

5. The Main Event: Taylor Lautner Arrives

• Black SUVs with tinted windows tease the crowd until Taylor Lautner and Kristen Stewart finally arrive, amplifying the crowd to near chaos.
  • Quote: “Nobody in the crowd was disappointed… like it’s absolutely insane.”
    —Wendy [10:47]
• Taylor starts working the barricade—Wendy is 20 feet away and gradually morphs from reporter to fangirl.
  • Quote: “I don’t think my heart has raced this fast in a long time.”
    —Wendy [12:30]
• She manages to shout a question and gets caught in the frenzy as handlers whisk Taylor away for photos.
  • Quote:
    • “Taylor, one question. Keep 100 in Atlanta. He’s like walking right in front of me.”
      —Wendy [12:23]
    • “My one opportunity, one chance. I’m like, that’s mine.”
      —Wendy [07:57]
• The only question Taylor answers: his favorite part of the movie is “the fans.”
  • Quote: “If the fans are an option, it would definitely be them, because this is… mind-blowing.”
    —Taylor Lautner (via Wendy) [12:58]
• Wendy’s ultimate verdict on seeing Taylor up close: “Hotter… I mean, if it’s possible. I don’t know.”
  —Wendy [13:36]

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• “I really don’t want to choke, but I need to keep talking right now.”
  —Excited Fan (parodying extreme fandom) [03:12]
• “Do they have those spotlights going on like a real Hollywood premiere?”
  —Show Host [06:55]
• “Were you wearing a diaper?”
  —Jeff (joking about Wendy’s no-bathroom-break commitment) [08:46]
• “They should have let coyotes out of there with rabies to run into the crowd.”
  —Jeff (riffing on real werewolves) [10:43]
• “He gets so close to me… What does he look like in person? Hotter.”
  —Wendy [13:36]

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Important Timestamps & Segments

• [01:31] Episode start & set-up: why Wendy was sent to Knoxville
• [02:11–04:39] Audio from viral “excited fan” watching the New Moon trailer
• [05:15–06:55] Wendy describes arrival at the theater and fan encampments
• [07:55] Wendy details getting and guarding her front-row press spot
• [09:24–09:51] Wendy shares crowd clip: energy before star arrivals
• [10:47–12:00] The stars arrive—the crowd (and Wendy) goes wild
• [12:23–12:58] Wendy’s near-miss with Taylor Lautner: question attempt and Taylor’s brief fan acknowledgment

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Overall Tone & Takeaways

• Energetic and light-hearted with plenty of jokes about fandom excess, red carpet culture, and the madness that is a Twilight-era movie premiere.
• The show is self-aware and leans into the humor of adults fangirling alongside teenagers, celebrating the lengths to which fans (and the press) will go for a pop-culture spectacle.
• Memorable for anyone who’s ever camped out, queued up, or gone a little over the top for a celebrity or an event.

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This episode is a time capsule of Twilight mania and an affectionate ribbing of both superfans and the reporters who cover them—equal parts hilarious, chaotic, and relatable for anyone who’s been swept up in pop culture fever.

Transcript

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the First show

[Show Host]

so Wendy was on assignment in Knoxville yesterday where Tennessee had their premiere of New Moon. And our biggest fear here was that getting Wendy access to Kristen Stewart and Taylor Lautner was going to be that. She sounded like this girl that was watching the New Moon that we played for you a couple of months ago. This girl right here, it's the first time she's ever seen the New Moon trailer.

[Excited Fan]

And.

[Show Host]

And she's recording herself as she's watching it for the first time. Freaking out.

[Excited Fan]

I couldn't actually be more excited right now. I am gonna fangirl. I am gonna fangirl so bad right now. This is just. Here goes.

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Wow,

[Excited Fan]

it's my birthday. The house looks so beautiful and I've met him I've met her and I've met him. Oh, that is one hell of an ass shot.

[Wendy (Reporter)]

Now that was me.

[Excited Fan]

Don't you dare leave her. You. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. What the f. Hell has Taylor done to himself? Oh, my God, he's so hot. I don't even care if he's, like, 17. I don't give a. He's hot, okay? The boy is hot. It is Wendy and the wolf. The wolf. It's a proper wolf. Poof. And it's a wolf. It's a proper wolf. It's not a little wolf. It's a raw wolf. Like in Twilight. It was just little wolves. Like proper little wolves that look like dogs, but they're not real wolves. They were just dog wolves. They weren't proper wolves. Like werewolves wolves. Even though they're not werewolves, they weren't like werewolf wolves. Whereas in this one, the proper real wolves are like CGI wolves, which makes it look more real. And it actually looks like Jacob's mental looking. It's actually red, and it actually has kind of his face in his eyes, and it actually looks like him. And I just can't wait to see this film. And now I started talking the words don't want to stop it. I'm eventually gonna have to start stopping talking because if I don't start stopping talking, then I'm gonna start choking instead. And I really don't want to choke, but I need to keep talking right now. The other thing that I like about it is the fact that the whole thing. Just the bit where Jasper's like, grr. G. And I love the cake. Oh, doesn't the cake look nice with Bella around the top? I couldn't be more excited for this. Chris Weitz, you f. Ing genius. I'm sorry, but this is better than Twilight, the quality of it. I'm so gonna go and see this film four times on the same day all over again. And Edward looks hotter, way hotter than he did in Twilight. And I love her dress. Oh, Esme. Alice said Kate could be 50 paper cut. Ah, you dumb. Come on, Jasper, bite her. Excuse me if I just get in the way. Oh, I really want to give myself a paper cup right now.

[Wendy (Reporter)]

What?

[Jeff (Co-host)]

Can you imagine sitting next to her in the movie?

[Show Host]

No, I think our fear was when this girl right there started talking really, really, really fast and wouldn't stop. That was gonna be Wendy once she got in front of Taylor Lautner yesterday. So we got this access for her. They had the premiere up in Knoxville yesterday, and Hollywood of the East. What's that?

[Jeff (Co-host)]

Knoxville? Hollywood of the East.

[Wendy (Reporter)]

Don't you make fun.

[Show Host]

So these weren't like directly on the red carpet passes though, right, Jeff? They were.

[Jeff (Co-host)]

Yeah, they were red carpet passes.

[Show Host]

They were.

[Wendy (Reporter)]

They were right there.

[Show Host]

But we were assuming that there were gonna be hundreds of people out there and it would be a tough assignment for you to get them to actually talk to you.

[Wendy (Reporter)]

Well, I to Knoxville at record timing. I think it only took me 2 hours and 45 minutes to get there because my foot was on the gas pedal so fast. I did not want to miss a moment of anything going on, any of the action. So I get up into Knoxville and I go to the theater and there is security already everywhere, like every entrance. And because this movie theater is huge. So every entrance into the movie theater, I'd say they're about. There's six or seven entrances. Cop cars. Cop cars. Cop cars waiting to talk to anybody pulling in. Because you can't park in there unless you're part of the media. So I pull into the parking lot, have my media credential, and there's already a crowd. This is around 12:45. There are already girls camping out, and there's some that have been there since the night before.

[Jeff (Co-host)]

And it's set to start at what time?

[Wendy (Reporter)]

I'm supposed to be there at three.

[Jeff (Co-host)]

But what time? The civilians who are there are waiting for a movie that starts at what time?

[Wendy (Reporter)]

The movie started at 7:30. The stars are getting there at 7:00 clock, and people were being let in at 6:00 clock. Like regular patrons were being let in at 6:00.

[Show Host]

And people were camping out there overnight.

[Wendy (Reporter)]

Let me just tell you, there was a bachelorette party. Yes, bachelorette party. Who drove from Michigan the night before? No way. Slept in their van because they didn't have hotel reservations and sat in the parking lot from 8:30 the night before and got a prime up front seats on the barricades because they had the entire thing barricaded when I got there, from one end of the theater to the other end of the theater. And then in the front of the theater was a huge red carpet. It's where Taylor and Kristen Stewart were going to be standing and greeting the people. And there's also two red carpets. One went over to the media side and then one that was the patron's red carpet to go in and see the film.

[Show Host]

Do they have those spotlights going on all over the place too, like a real Hollywood premiere?

[Wendy (Reporter)]

At nighttime, the spotlight was going. There's this massive spotlight in the crowd. But the time that. Right about five o', clock, I would say it was about six or seven deep of people. And you have to realize this is a long stretch of barricades and it's six or seven deep. There were people in trees, climbing trees, climbing poles, trying to just get a glimpse of any of the action that was going on. So people are starting to arrive and I'm getting my prime spot and I'm there. I literally sat in my spot from 3:00pm until 8:00 clock when the whole thing was over.

[Show Host]

So how far deep now are you? There's a barricade. Is there like one row of people in front of you? Two rows of press, three. Are you right at the barricade?

[Wendy (Reporter)]

Right at the front? Because I refused to move. As soon as we started, any commotion started going. The commotion started around 5 o'. Clock. I did not move from that spot because I was like, I am getting something. I am going to talk to Taylor Lautner. I am going to do something.

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[Wendy (Reporter)]

This is my one opportunity, one chance. I'm like, that's mine. And I was talking to the other press people there. I was like, okay, if you see me talking to him, grab a picture of me. If. If we can just turn around real quick. I'll take your picture, you take my picture. We're going to do anything we can to just get a snapshot.

[Excited Fan]

Okay.

[Wendy (Reporter)]

Was there a press there from all over the place? Was it mostly Knoxville people? It was mostly Knoxville people. There's radio stations and then there's probably three TV crews, but they were going to syndicate it to other networks. But, yeah, there were three TV stations covering it and a couple of radio people. And then one person I didn't even know who was there. He probably just wanted to be part of the group.

[Show Host]

So at this point, now you're saying it's 3 o' clock in the afternoon. Are you elbow to elbow with people on the barricade?

[Wendy (Reporter)]

Not yet.

[Show Host]

Okay.

[Wendy (Reporter)]

The elbow to elbow didn't start until around 5:30, but I did go in the crowd before we had to get close together because I wasn't losing my spot. My stuff was at my spot. I'm not. Not losing this prime spot.

[Jeff (Co-host)]

Were you wearing a diaper?

[Wendy (Reporter)]

Yeah. No bathroom breaks at all? I didn't go to the bathroom at all. I refused. I didn't want to lose my spot because it was right in front of this book. Because there's a red carpet and there's this book of Twilight, it's where they were gonna take their pictures.

[Show Host]

Like a life size book.

[Wendy (Reporter)]

A life size book of Twilight. And they were gonna take the pictures right there, right in front of me. I was like, that's my opportunity. But before we stood in the line, I went out into the crowd and I have the clip. I had Josh pull this clip because this is the insane crowd and the intensity of the crowd. And the stars weren't even at the premiere yet. This is just the hype and commotion of me being in the crowd.

[Show Host]

And this is how many hours before the stars arrive.

[Wendy (Reporter)]

This is around 6 o'. Clock. So everyone's getting kind of excited.

[Show Host]

You can start to feel the excitement

[Wendy (Reporter)]

starting to build, the momentum starting to build. But the crowd was like this all day.

[Excited Fan]

We love Nami.

[Wendy (Reporter)]

Oh my God, is this it?

[Show Host]

They're not even there yet.

[Wendy (Reporter)]

No.

[Jeff (Co-host)]

So what are they cheering at?

[Wendy (Reporter)]

Just the excite. I don't know. Just people are like, hey, patrons are arriving. I guess so it's just exciting. But the crowd was yelling all day for Taylor and Kristen.

[Show Host]

And you didn't incite this? This just happened?

[Wendy (Reporter)]

Yeah, no, I was standing just in the crowd with them.

[Show Host]

This is an hour before the premiere in the hospital.

[Wendy (Reporter)]

But these people, I think you don't understand how long they've been waiting for this movie. I know, it's insane. I mean, but the line was so long. Like it was insanely massive.

[Show Host]

So it stays that loud for an hour before they even arrive. Wow.

[Wendy (Reporter)]

Okay, intense. So I'm like, if this is it, an hour before, I cannot wait till they get on the red carpet. So they tease the crowd a little bit by bringing in these separate vehicles, you know, like the dark black vehicles that the celebrities arrive in. It's like tinted black windows, you can't see anybody in.

[Jeff (Co-host)]

They should have let a real werewolf out of there.

[Wendy (Reporter)]

Not a. What was it?

[Jeff (Co-host)]

Not a CGI one, but like a

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[Jeff (Co-host)]

But like, like coyotes. They should have let coyotes out of there with rabies to run into the crowd.

[Wendy (Reporter)]

Remember, they teased the crowd a little bit so just regular people were getting out of these vehicles. But the screams were so loud and they were. Nobody in the crowd was disappointed. Well, all of a sudden there's three vehicles that just pull on through. It is like chaos and mayhem. They're screaming even louder than that. Like it's absolutely insane. They stop the vehicles right in front of the red carpet where they're supposed to stand and wave to the crowd and it is going crazy. Taylor Lautner. Get and Holy crap. I lost my mind. And I think that's the second clip is where it finally starts because they do go do some other kind of stuff. They go sign autographs. They're like on one side signing autographs. They go out into the crowd where it gets even more intense and sign autographs. Kristen and Taylor both signing autographs, standing, posing for any kind of pictures with people in the crowd.

[Show Host]

So as you're standing on the barricade and you see him come out of the limo and start just working his way up to the red carpet, how far is he from you at that point initially?

[Wendy (Reporter)]

Oh, super close. He's probably 20ft from me at that. At that point. Wow. At that point.

[Excited Fan]

All right.

[Show Host]

And he's working his way over to you. And I'm assuming now you go from media interview person to big time fan.

[Wendy (Reporter)]

You know, I kind of know. I kept not. You lost it.

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[Show Host]

And this is when Taylor comes out. So this is the crowd. Right as Taylor comes out.

[Wendy (Reporter)]

This is the crowd. And then he's going to work himself towards the media area after this. Okay, there he is. There he is. You told him so.

[Excited Fan]

My God, I love my life.

[Wendy (Reporter)]

Taylor, one question. Keep 100 in Atlanta. He's like walking right in front of me.

[Show Host]

Can he even hear you?

[Wendy (Reporter)]

I don't know. I. I think my heart hasn't raised his fast in a long time. Holy not. I'm yelling at him.

[Show Host]

He's in front of you and you're yelling at him now? This is fantastic.

[Wendy (Reporter)]

Right next to me. Say good morning, Tennessee.

[Show Host]

Good morning, Tennessee.

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[Show Host]

Favorite part of the movie. If. If the fans are an option, it would definitely be them because this is. This is mind blowing. Thank you.

[Wendy (Reporter)]

They are pulling him and tagging him. So no questions. Dang it.

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[Show Host]

Listen. So at this point, one person got one question in next to you, so. And you have your recorder in his face.

[Wendy (Reporter)]

Right next to me. Because they were pointing at me because they knew I wanted just, like, one question. One thing. One thing. Interview with him. But his handler, as soon as it was coming to me, pulled him for a picture right in front of me. That's when I started yelling. I'm like, one question, please. Like, one question. I'm like, yelling at him to come over to me, but he gets so close to me. What does he look like in person? Hotter. Like, I don't know. Yes. I mean, he's possible. I don't know.

[Excited Fan]

Get it?

[Wendy (Reporter)]

The Birch show

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