Vault: Beauty Tip Secrets From Women

Summary

The Bert Show – Vault: Beauty Tip Secrets From Women (November 7, 2025)

Episode Overview

This special episode of The Bert Show focuses on crowdsourced beauty tips, secrets, and unconventional hacks from women, revealed in a fun, candid roundtable with co-hosts Bert, Melissa Carter, Jamie Massey, and callers. With the male hosts on vacation, the team dives into the “beauty bag” to share personal favorites and caller-provided beauty tricks—many of which are inventive, practical, and rooted in real-life experiences. The cast aim to make mornings lighthearted and “real,” providing listeners with relatable advice and plenty of laughs.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. The “Beauty Bag” is (Finally) Open ([01:03])

• Host Set-up: Bert and Melissa, relieved of the guys’ skepticism, seize the chance to share and collect beauty secrets on-air. The segment is meant to create a master list and invite listeners to share their hacks.
• Motivation: “We want to know your best kept beauty secrets or like tips and tricks that you use for beauty that maybe people wouldn’t think of. Even bizarre stuff…”
  — Co-host Bert [01:26]

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2. Hair Care Hacks

Jamie Massey’s No-Heat Hair Care ([01:59])

• Tip: Never, or rarely, uses a blow dryer to avoid split ends and dryness.
  • “I just never, ever blow dry my hair.” — Jamie Massey [02:25]
  • Uses Redken Straightening Balm and layers it with other Redken products on wet hair for smoothness.
  • “I’m what you call low maintenance.” — Jamie Massey [03:06]

Extend Your Straight Hair with Baby Powder ([03:11])

• Tip (Bert): Uses baby powder or hair powder on a brush to soak up oil, letting straightened hair last an extra day.
  • “You put baby powder on your brush and brush your hair with the baby powder. And it disappears in your hair, but it sucks up some of the grease.” — Co-host Bert [03:31]
• Memorable anecdote: Melissa learned the trick from her mom as a kid for sick days when she couldn’t wash her hair. [03:59]

Coke as a Deep-Cleaner for Hair ([08:32])

• Tip: Pour a 2-liter of Coke through hair, repeatedly if necessary, then wash and condition to strip dullness and product buildup.
  • “My hairstylist told me…pour it in a container and just repeatedly do it three or four times and then wash your hair normal. The acid strips everything out.” — Caller Ruth [08:32]
  • “My hair 100% changed the very first time. I couldn’t believe it.” — Caller Ruth [09:20]

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3. Skin & Face Fixes

Clay Masks ([05:24])

• Tip: Swedish clay mask (Larosette) for smoothing and brightening. “You can do it every other day…skin just feels so smooth…” — Caller Erin [05:24]

Reduce Pimple Redness with Visine ([06:08])

• Tip: Dab on a little Visine to “reduce redness immensely.” — Caller Alison [06:08]

Toothpaste for Pimples ([08:14])

• Tip: Apply toothpaste to pimples overnight for smaller, less red blemishes.
  • “When you go to bed at night, if you have a really red pimple, you can put toothpaste on it…wash it off when you wake up in the morning.” — Caller Jessica [08:14]

Buffpuffs and Betadine Exfoliation ([06:34])

• Tip: Exfoliate with buffpuffs and Betadine as recommended by a dermatologist, followed by Dove soap. Reduces breakouts and dryness.
  • “A dermatologist told me to use it because I had dry skin and I sometimes would have breakouts, and it totally diminishes and kills any problems that I’ve ever had.” — Caller Lisa [06:41]
  • Caution: Staining is possible; Betadine contains iodine.

Shaving Face to Prevent Wrinkles ([07:18])

• Tip: Caller’s stepmom shaves her face, allegedly preventing wrinkles (like men who shave).
  • “She’s been doing it for years. And she’s got flawlessly gorgeous skin.” — Caller Lisa [07:47]
  • No issues with increased coarseness.

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4. Puffy Eyes After Crying ([04:33])

• Request: Melissa seeks remedies for post-cry puffiness and swelling.

Preparation H for Puffy Eyes ([10:10])

• Tip: Apply Preparation H under eyes before bed to reduce swelling.
  • “When I was modeling, one of my coaches told me that Preparation H under the eyes…works.” — Caller Joanne [10:27]
  • Use caution around eyes; best to apply the night before, then wash off in the morning.
• Alternatives mentioned: St. Ives cucumber gel, cucumber slices, frozen spoons (thanks to a caller text). [13:08]

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5. Quick Blemish Remedies

• Band-Aid Hack: Stick the sticky end of a Band-Aid over a zit and “sleep with it on.” Reduces size and redness by morning.
  • “You just, like, cut the little ends of it off and it works.” — Caller Allison [12:38]

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6. Lip Care—Overnight Balm ([11:42])

• Tip: Slather lips with heavy balm (e.g., Burt’s Bees) at night for soft, repaired lips in the morning.
  • “Put on, like, way more than you even think that you would ever need…and you go to sleep, when you wake up in the morning, they’re all, like, soft…” — Co-host Bert [11:42]

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7. DIY Body & Hair Products ([13:12])

• Salt & Olive Oil Body Scrub: DIY exfoliant for soft skin.
• Olive Oil in Bath: For soft, moisturized skin (shared as a family trick).
• Mayonnaise/Vegetable Oil as Hair Conditioner: For extra hydration and shine.
• Fun moment: “I love, you know what, and there’s the list of Coke, like, all the things that Coke can do. Yes, fascinating.” — Co-host Melissa Carter [09:54]

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8. The Car Mirror Eyebrow Trick ([13:29])

• Tip: Pluck eyebrows in the car, not while driving but parked, using natural daylight and the rearview mirror for best, most revealing lighting.
  • “When you look in the car mirror, that is the best place to pluck your eyebrows, I’m telling you.” — Co-host Bert [13:29]

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Notable Quotes / Memorable Moments

• “I mean, half the time I come in here with wet hair in the morning, but I just don’t blow dry. It makes it kind of crunchy and it makes it dry out.” — Jamie Massey [02:26]
• “When I was a young girl and was sick, she would do that for me…even when I was in elementary school, just so I didn’t look as bad as I felt.” — Co-host Melissa Carter (about her mom using baby powder on her hair) [04:00]
• “My hairstylist told me…pour [Coke] in a container and just repeatedly do it three or four times and then wash your hair normal. The acid strips everything out.” — Caller Ruth [08:32]
• “I’m just thinking about how sexy the women of America are gonna look going to bed tonight after getting out of the shower, emptying out 2 liters of Coke on their head. Putting toothpaste on their zits…With spoon on their eyes. Mayonnaise in their hair. Preparation H…The women of Atlanta are going to be sexy as hell tonight.” — Radio Host [14:10]

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Timestamps for Main Segments

• 00:00 – 01:03: Ads and intro (skip)
• 01:03 – 01:59: Show setup—why they're sharing beauty secrets
• 01:59 – 03:06: Jamie Massey’s no-heat routine & Redken products
• 03:11 – 03:59: Baby powder for oily roots—Bert & Melissa’s take
• 05:24 – 05:56: Caller Erin & clay mask from Larosette
• 06:08 – 06:29: Visine for pimples—Caller Alison
• 06:34 – 07:47: Buffpuffs/Betadine & shaving face for wrinkles—Caller Lisa
• 08:14 – 08:26: Toothpaste for pimples—Caller Jessica
• 08:29 – 09:52: Coke hair rinse—Caller Ruth
• 10:08 – 11:29: Preparation H for post-cry puffy eyes—Caller Joanne
• 11:42 – 12:22: Lip balm overnight—Bert & Melissa
• 12:29 – 12:58: Band-Aid for pimples—Caller Allison
• 13:08 – 13:29: Frozen spoons, olive oil, mayo/veg oil for skin and hair (caller texts)
• 13:29 – 14:10: Eyebrow tweezing in car mirror—Bert’s tip
• 14:10 – 14:26: Humorous recap of beauty rituals
• 14:26 - End: Commercials/outro (skip)

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Overall Tone

The episode is playful, personal, and lighthearted, with real, authentic advice delivered in a friendly, sometimes self-deprecating style. Candid confessions, quirky anecdotes, and listener inclusivity make for an engaging podcast session that’s both useful and entertaining.

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For a full list of tips, tricks, and discussion, check The Bert Show’s online post as promised during the segment.

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For Listeners Who Missed the Episode

This episode of The Bert Show is perfect for anyone looking for real-world beauty solutions, fun hacks, or just a bit of relatable morning chatter. The hosts and their callers share both tried-and-true classics and out-of-left-field innovations—giving you plenty to experiment with next time you’re in the mood for a DIY beauty night!

Transcript

[Radio Host]

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[Co-host Bert]

The Bird show all right, with the guys on vacation, we thought we would have some fun here. So we're gonna call it kind of the Beauty Bag, because this is something that we have talked about dipping into the beauty bag on the show before. And the guys, Bert and Jeff, look at me when I bring up this idea and roll their eyes and they're like, oh, do we really have to sit through this?

[Co-host Melissa Carter]

Or whatever.

[Jamie Massey]

They just.

[Co-host Bert]

So I'm like, okay, they're out. We need to do this and we want to know your best kept beauty secrets or like tips and tricks that you use for beauty that maybe people wouldn't think of. Even bizarre stuff, even like weird stuff, stuff your mom told you about, something like old school, or maybe it's like a product you can't live without or something like that. We're just going to compile a whole list and then later on we'll post them online so everybody can sort of share their beauty secrets. I have a couple that I can share, but Jamie Massey, you said that you've got one to start off and add to the list.

[Jamie Massey]

Well, I know that it's probably not possible for most people, but I have unbelievably straight long brown hair and it's just really, really straight most of the time. And the one thing that I do or don't do is just to Keep it from getting split ends and everything. When you have hair that's pretty long, split ends is kind of a problem.

[Co-host Bert]

Definitely an issue.

[Jamie Massey]

And I just never, ever blow dry my hair.

[Co-host Bert]

Never? Never.

[Jamie Massey]

I mean, maybe like once a month if I have to run out. But you guys, I mean, half the time I come in here with wet hair in the morning, but I just don't blow dry. It makes it kind of crunchy and it makes it dry out. And I never blow dry it or flat iron it or anything like that. And I know that that's not a possibility for some people, but if you. I've just recently gotten some layers and some highlights. And so I'm having problem keeping the ends straight. So I use Redken Straightening Balm.

[Co-host Melissa Carter]

Okay.

[Jamie Massey]

That stuff you kind of like, put.

[Co-host Bert]

It in when it's wet?

[Jamie Massey]

Yeah, put it in when it's wet. It's like there's a bunch of different ones. And I kind of compile three different Redken products and put them in my hands and do this and go through the hair and walk out the door.

[Co-host Bert]

Awesome.

[Jamie Massey]

Piece of cake.

[Co-host Bert]

All right, I'm starting this list.

[Jamie Massey]

I'm what you call low maintenance.

[Co-host Bert]

No blow dryer for Jamie Massey.

[Co-host Melissa Carter]

All right.

[Co-host Bert]

I've got a hair one to add to the list. It's when you do have straight hair. And I actually have naturally curly hair, but straighten it a lot. And it takes a long time with the blow dryer and the straightening iron or whatever. So I want it to last for a couple of days. Look at Phil Torrance. So tuned out.

[Jamie Massey]

I know.

[Co-host Bert]

But I want it to last for a couple of days. So I actually use baby powder or they have stuff that's called hair powder. And I put it on my brush, like, say it's already been straight for a day and I've gone to work and done my thing or whatever. The next morning you wake up, it's kind of getting greasy, like around the hairline. Especially in the summertime because you're kind of sweaty or whatever. So you put baby powder on your brush and brush your hair with the baby powder. And it disappears in your hair, but it sucks up some of the grease. And then your hairdo lasts a little bit longer. And also you can actually go like an extra day.

[Co-host Melissa Carter]

Ladies who have daughters like that, I learned that from Millie Pete. Because when I was a young girl and was sick, she would do that for me. Because if I was too sick to go wash my hair, didn't feel like it or whatever. For me to even feel better or If I needed to actually see somebody or whatever, she would do that for me. Even when I was in elementary school, just so I didn't look as bad as I felt. Baby powder in the hair absorbs the oil.

[Radio Host]

Another good hair tip that I've been doing a lot. Just lose it.

[Co-host Melissa Carter]

Lose your hair.

[Radio Host]

Very low maintenance hair.

[Co-host Melissa Carter]

And we're gonna take some calls for some beauty tips. I have a request, though. Can I make a quick request?

[Jamie Massey]

Yeah.

[Co-host Melissa Carter]

Because one thing I want to know the trick to this and this. You know what? I'm gonna call myself out. And ladies, we all do this. So believe it or not, even though Jen Hobby's the one that cries on the air all the time, Melissa Carter does have a heart. And there are tears that come from these ducks in my eyes. And us. Course, it doesn't happen until I'm off the air. And the night before, if I get upset about something the night before, I have to come in here, and I don't. And, you know, it's anybody that has to go to work. But on this show, if you look like you got the puffy eyes and the guy's going, what's wrong? Well, let's talk about it.

[Co-host Bert]

And you got to talk about it.

[Co-host Melissa Carter]

I don't want to talk about it.

[Co-host Bert]

And nobody wants to talk about being upset at the office.

[Co-host Melissa Carter]

Nobody wants to talk about it. So if anybody has any tips on how to keep your eyes from swelling after a cry, let me know about that. Okay? Let's just.

[Co-host Bert]

Let's just go down the list. We'll just make this really quick. I'm gonna try to take notes so we can put all these up online at allheadsq100.com later on today.

[Co-host Melissa Carter]

All right, sounds good. Erin, we'll start with you. Hey, Erin. Hey. What is your tip?

[Co-host Bert]

For our birthday bath?

[Caller]

I use this mask. It's a clay mask from, I think, Sweden called Larosette. L A R O S E T. You can Google it. And you just put it on your face, and then once it's done, it dries. You wash it off, and then your skin just feels so smooth. It looks bright and feels healthy.

[Co-host Bert]

How often do you do the clay mask?

[Caller]

I mean, you can do it every other day. It. $25 a bottle, but whoa. Or two. But it's. I love it.

[Co-host Bert]

It's worth it.

[Co-host Melissa Carter]

Thank you. Thank you, Erin. And next call is Allison online, too. And she. I love these, like, I don't know, products that you use for something else that it's not made for.

[Jamie Massey]

Right.

[Co-host Melissa Carter]

Hey, Alison.

[Caller]

Hi. I was calling in. I forget where I read it a while ago. But if you ever get pimples and they're red, if you put just a little Visine on before you put anything else on, it won't take all the redness away, but it will reduce it immensely.

[Co-host Melissa Carter]

So it takes the redness out of your pimple, not just your eyes, but your pimple.

[Caller]

Exactly. Love that.

[Co-host Melissa Carter]

Awesome. Thank you, Alice.

[Co-host Bert]

That's a great one.

[Co-host Melissa Carter]

All right, Lisa on line three. Hey, Lisa.

[Caller]

Hi. How are you?

[Co-host Melissa Carter]

Good. What's your tip?

[Caller]

Two quick ones. One of them is I use buff puffs and Betadine.

[Radio Host]

Okay.

[Caller]

And a dermatologist told me to use it because I had dry skin and I sometimes would have breakouts, and it totally diminishes and kills any problems that I've ever had. And the next one's gonna sound odd.

[Co-host Bert]

But wait a second, wait a second, Wait a second. What was that first one again?

[Caller]

Buffpuff and Betadine.

[Co-host Bert]

Buff puffs and Betadine. And you just. You just rub it on like you're washing your face with the buff puffs with the Betadine?

[Caller]

Yes. And then I rinse it off with unscented Dove soap.

[Co-host Melissa Carter]

Okay. Now, is the Betadine the stuff that stains or has or is that. I'm not thinking something else I'm thinking of.

[Caller]

I think it does stain. I think it has iodine or something in it because I've gotten it on towels and I can't get it off.

[Co-host Bert]

Okay.

[Caller]

And then the next really odd one is that my stepmom shaves, and it's totally diminished and killed any possibility of having wrinkles.

[Co-host Bert]

She shaves her face.

[Caller]

Her face? Yep. And it's not because of any reason except for the fact that she doesn't want wrinkles. And if you look at men, you see that they don't usually have wrinkles and they shave.

[Co-host Melissa Carter]

Now, shaving the face doesn't cause, like, the peach fuzz to get coarser, does it?

[Caller]

I mean, I've asked her that, and she said she never has any problems.

[Co-host Melissa Carter]

Wow.

[Caller]

And the dermatologist said that she should never have any problems. And she's been doing it for years. And she's got flawlessly gorgeous skin.

[Co-host Melissa Carter]

Really? Wow.

[Co-host Bert]

Okay. No wrinkles at all. Secret.

[Co-host Melissa Carter]

Awesome. All right, thank you so much. We're going to go to. I'm sorry, Jen.

[Co-host Bert]

I was going to say 404. 741 1005. If you have a tip or a beauty secret to add into our beauty bag.

[Co-host Melissa Carter]

All right, line four, Jessica. She has another solution for Pimples.

[Co-host Bert]

Hey.

[Caller]

Hi there. When you go to bed at night, if you have a really red pimple, you can put toothpaste on it and then just wash it off when you wake up in the morning. It reduces the size and the redness.

[Co-host Melissa Carter]

Fantastic. Toothpaste the night before and leave it on to dry.

[Co-host Bert]

Toothpaste on your pimples.

[Co-host Melissa Carter]

I love this. Ruth, hey, line five.

[Caller]

Hi.

[Jamie Massey]

How are you?

[Co-host Melissa Carter]

Good.

[Caller]

This is a hair secret. I have red, curly hair down almost to my butt. So I have a lot of hair. And I was having major issues. No matter how I washed my hair, what kind of products I used, my hair always felt heavy. Couldn't strip out enough out of it. And my hairstylist told me to go and get a 2 liter of coke, put a bucket in the sink, and basically douse my hair with soda and then pour it in a container and just repeatedly do it three or four times and then wash your hair normal. The acid strips everything out of your hair. And when you wash and condition your hair, your hair is soft and silky.

[Co-host Bert]

Wow.

[Co-host Melissa Carter]

Thank you. Ruth, have you ever.

[Co-host Bert]

That is unbelievable.

[Co-host Melissa Carter]

Can of Coke or you say a 2 liter of coke, you put it.

[Caller]

Yeah, well, it's easiest to have a big bottle of it. I put like a big salad bowl in the. In, like in the bathtub and on my hands and knees and just. I keep pouring it on my hair, and I just scoop it out and pour it and pour it and it put for it. And my hair 100% changed the very first time. I couldn't believe it. When you wash your hair, you know, and you use stripping agents, when you wash and condition your hair, you put it right back on. So it's sort of pointless. So you spend all this money for nothing. When you can pay a dollar at the grocery store and get a 2 liter of soda and do the same thing.

[Co-host Melissa Carter]

That's great.

[Co-host Bert]

I love that one.

[Co-host Melissa Carter]

I love. You know what? And there's the list of Coke, like, all the things that Coke can do. Yes, Fascinating. All right, well, line one. Joanne has a solution for me because I had asked earlier, when you're crying and you want to get the puffiness out, what do you do? Hey, Joanne.

[Co-host Bert]

Hi.

[Caller]

Actually, a few years ago, I was told that to put Preparation H under your eyes after you've been crying, I mean, of course you do the normal, like warm washcloth and everything, but if it's still puffy after a while, put Preparation H on there.

[Co-host Bert]

Now, my question about the Preparation H. Have you actually done it?

[Caller]

Yes, actually, when I was modeling. One of my coaches told me that preparation, nature. Under the eyes, you can use your cucumber slices. St. Ives also makes a Preparation H gel. I'm sorry. I'm so excited to talk to you guys. St. Ives makes a cucumber gel that you can also use, which works. And also for red zits that are on your skin, you can use bi zine on there to take the red out.

[Co-host Bert]

We did hear that early on. That is an awesome one. My question about the. I'm sorry. I'm interested in this preparation age is when you put it on, Obviously, you have to be careful not to get it in your eye. Right?

[Caller]

Right.

[Co-host Bert]

And then does it, like, can you put it on and then put makeup on and go to work, or do you have to put it on, let it sit there, and then wash it off?

[Caller]

Well, I always did it the night before. Usually when I cry, it's at night, or I never cried right before I went to work. So I would just put it on before I went to bed, and in the morning, I'd be fine.

[Co-host Bert]

And then you just wash it off in the morning and go. Okay.

[Jamie Massey]

Right.

[Co-host Melissa Carter]

I need to do the combination. I have to do the combination because my eye. It's not just beneath, but my eyelid swells, too.

[Co-host Bert]

You just have to be careful not to get it in your eye, Melania.

[Radio Host]

Right.

[Caller]

Because then you won't be dangerous.

[Co-host Bert]

Exactly what happens. I have another one which is before you go to sleep, which I've noticed. And this is good in the wintertime, especially when your lips get all dry and stuff. But I put on massive amounts of lip balm before going to sleep, and I just keep it in my nightstand. And so you can use whatever kind of, you know, chapstick or whatever else, but I just use one of those pots of, like, the Burt's Bees stuff or whatever and just lather it on there. Like, put on, like, way more than you even think that you would ever need. And you go to sleep, when you wake up in the morning, they're all, like, soft and all the cracks have gone away or whatever. And then you don't have to have cracky lips.

[Co-host Melissa Carter]

Burt's Bees, any of their products.

[Co-host Bert]

So good. It's so good.

[Co-host Melissa Carter]

Okay, and one last call. I love this because everybody, I guess, is concerned about blemishes. So. Allison, line three.

[Caller]

Hey.

[Co-host Bert]

Hi.

[Caller]

If you take the sticky end of a band aid and you stick it over your zit, it reduces the redness and the size of it.

[Co-host Melissa Carter]

Really?

[Co-host Bert]

Now, wait a second. You put the sticky end of the band Aid on the pimple. And then you rip it off.

[Caller]

Yeah. In the morning, you sleep with it on. And you just, like, peel it off in the morning. And you just, like, cut the little ends of it off and it works. I don't know why. My friend told me about does, so.

[Co-host Melissa Carter]

I love that one. That's awesome. Thank you so much, and thanks everybody else. Sorry we didn't get to your calls. You know, one person, Christine, thinks that freezing spoons then putting them on my eyes will reduce swelling.

[Co-host Bert]

That's good.

[Co-host Melissa Carter]

And then watch them stick to my eyes, and I can't get them off.

[Co-host Bert]

Spoons.

[Co-host Melissa Carter]

Yeah, exactly. And then Katie says, olive oil and salt makes a great body scrub. I know olive oil. My sister used to put olive oil in her bath when she would soak before she took a bath and said that. That's really good. And mayo and vegetable oil as a hair conditioner. Leigh Ann, thank you for that.

[Co-host Bert]

And vegetable oil. I'm trying to write all these down. We're gonna get somebody to type all these up and we'll post them online for you. I have one more. And this will be good if you're going to work this morning. Look how bored Phil is. I know, but if you tweeze your eyebrows, you know, and you get some of those random ones, you'll do it in the mirror at home, in the bathroom. And then you go to work and you're, like, in a different mirror, you're like, how did I miss that one? Do it in your car. Not while you're driving. I certainly don't endorse that. But when you get in your car, bring your tweezers. And when you look in the car mirror, that is the best place to pluck your eyebrows, I'm telling you. Because it's the best lighting. You get all that natural light in there. You can see them a lot more. So when you gotta do your brows, bring the tweezers in the car.

[Radio Host]

I'm just thinking about how sexy the women of America are gonna look going to bed tonight after getting out of the shower, emptying out 2.2liters of Coke on their head. Putting toothpaste on their zits, putting Visine on their zits. With spoon on their eyes. Mayonnaise in their hair. Preparation age and preparation age on their eye.

[Co-host Bert]

Good God.

[Radio Host]

The women of Atlanta are going to be sexy as hell tonight, the Birch Show. Introducing Family Freedom from T Mobile. We'll pay off four phones up to $3200 and give you four free phones, all on America's largest 5G network. Visit t mobile.com familyfreedom up to $800 per line via virtual prepaid card typically takes 15 days. Free phone via 24 monthly bill credits with finance agreement. Example Apple iPhone 16128 gigs $829.99 Eligible trade in example iPhone 11 Pro for well qualified credits end and balance due if you pay off early or cancel contact us.

[Co-host Melissa Carter]

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[Co-host Bert]

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