The Bert Show – Vault: Beauty Tip Secrets From Women (November 7, 2025)
Episode Overview
This special episode of The Bert Show focuses on crowdsourced beauty tips, secrets, and unconventional hacks from women, revealed in a fun, candid roundtable with co-hosts Bert, Melissa Carter, Jamie Massey, and callers. With the male hosts on vacation, the team dives into the “beauty bag” to share personal favorites and caller-provided beauty tricks—many of which are inventive, practical, and rooted in real-life experiences. The cast aim to make mornings lighthearted and “real,” providing listeners with relatable advice and plenty of laughs.
Key Discussion Points & Insights
1. The “Beauty Bag” is (Finally) Open ([01:03])
- Host Set-up: Bert and Melissa, relieved of the guys’ skepticism, seize the chance to share and collect beauty secrets on-air. The segment is meant to create a master list and invite listeners to share their hacks.
- Motivation: “We want to know your best kept beauty secrets or like tips and tricks that you use for beauty that maybe people wouldn’t think of. Even bizarre stuff…”
— Co-host Bert [01:26]
2. Hair Care Hacks
Jamie Massey’s No-Heat Hair Care ([01:59])
- Tip: Never, or rarely, uses a blow dryer to avoid split ends and dryness.
- “I just never, ever blow dry my hair.” — Jamie Massey [02:25]
- Uses Redken Straightening Balm and layers it with other Redken products on wet hair for smoothness.
- “I’m what you call low maintenance.” — Jamie Massey [03:06]
Extend Your Straight Hair with Baby Powder ([03:11])
- Tip (Bert): Uses baby powder or hair powder on a brush to soak up oil, letting straightened hair last an extra day.
- “You put baby powder on your brush and brush your hair with the baby powder. And it disappears in your hair, but it sucks up some of the grease.” — Co-host Bert [03:31]
- Memorable anecdote: Melissa learned the trick from her mom as a kid for sick days when she couldn’t wash her hair. [03:59]
Coke as a Deep-Cleaner for Hair ([08:32])
- Tip: Pour a 2-liter of Coke through hair, repeatedly if necessary, then wash and condition to strip dullness and product buildup.
- “My hairstylist told me…pour it in a container and just repeatedly do it three or four times and then wash your hair normal. The acid strips everything out.” — Caller Ruth [08:32]
- “My hair 100% changed the very first time. I couldn’t believe it.” — Caller Ruth [09:20]
3. Skin & Face Fixes
Clay Masks ([05:24])
- Tip: Swedish clay mask (Larosette) for smoothing and brightening. “You can do it every other day…skin just feels so smooth…” — Caller Erin [05:24]
Reduce Pimple Redness with Visine ([06:08])
- Tip: Dab on a little Visine to “reduce redness immensely.” — Caller Alison [06:08]
Toothpaste for Pimples ([08:14])
- Tip: Apply toothpaste to pimples overnight for smaller, less red blemishes.
- “When you go to bed at night, if you have a really red pimple, you can put toothpaste on it…wash it off when you wake up in the morning.” — Caller Jessica [08:14]
Buffpuffs and Betadine Exfoliation ([06:34])
- Tip: Exfoliate with buffpuffs and Betadine as recommended by a dermatologist, followed by Dove soap. Reduces breakouts and dryness.
- “A dermatologist told me to use it because I had dry skin and I sometimes would have breakouts, and it totally diminishes and kills any problems that I’ve ever had.” — Caller Lisa [06:41]
- Caution: Staining is possible; Betadine contains iodine.
Shaving Face to Prevent Wrinkles ([07:18])
- Tip: Caller’s stepmom shaves her face, allegedly preventing wrinkles (like men who shave).
- “She’s been doing it for years. And she’s got flawlessly gorgeous skin.” — Caller Lisa [07:47]
- No issues with increased coarseness.
4. Puffy Eyes After Crying ([04:33])
- Request: Melissa seeks remedies for post-cry puffiness and swelling.
Preparation H for Puffy Eyes ([10:10])
- Tip: Apply Preparation H under eyes before bed to reduce swelling.
- “When I was modeling, one of my coaches told me that Preparation H under the eyes…works.” — Caller Joanne [10:27]
- Use caution around eyes; best to apply the night before, then wash off in the morning.
- Alternatives mentioned: St. Ives cucumber gel, cucumber slices, frozen spoons (thanks to a caller text). [13:08]
5. Quick Blemish Remedies
- Band-Aid Hack: Stick the sticky end of a Band-Aid over a zit and “sleep with it on.” Reduces size and redness by morning.
- “You just, like, cut the little ends of it off and it works.” — Caller Allison [12:38]
6. Lip Care—Overnight Balm ([11:42])
- Tip: Slather lips with heavy balm (e.g., Burt’s Bees) at night for soft, repaired lips in the morning.
- “Put on, like, way more than you even think that you would ever need…and you go to sleep, when you wake up in the morning, they’re all, like, soft…” — Co-host Bert [11:42]
7. DIY Body & Hair Products ([13:12])
- Salt & Olive Oil Body Scrub: DIY exfoliant for soft skin.
- Olive Oil in Bath: For soft, moisturized skin (shared as a family trick).
- Mayonnaise/Vegetable Oil as Hair Conditioner: For extra hydration and shine.
- Fun moment: “I love, you know what, and there’s the list of Coke, like, all the things that Coke can do. Yes, fascinating.” — Co-host Melissa Carter [09:54]
8. The Car Mirror Eyebrow Trick ([13:29])
- Tip: Pluck eyebrows in the car, not while driving but parked, using natural daylight and the rearview mirror for best, most revealing lighting.
- “When you look in the car mirror, that is the best place to pluck your eyebrows, I’m telling you.” — Co-host Bert [13:29]
Notable Quotes / Memorable Moments
- “I mean, half the time I come in here with wet hair in the morning, but I just don’t blow dry. It makes it kind of crunchy and it makes it dry out.” — Jamie Massey [02:26]
- “When I was a young girl and was sick, she would do that for me…even when I was in elementary school, just so I didn’t look as bad as I felt.” — Co-host Melissa Carter (about her mom using baby powder on her hair) [04:00]
- “My hairstylist told me…pour [Coke] in a container and just repeatedly do it three or four times and then wash your hair normal. The acid strips everything out.” — Caller Ruth [08:32]
- “I’m just thinking about how sexy the women of America are gonna look going to bed tonight after getting out of the shower, emptying out 2 liters of Coke on their head. Putting toothpaste on their zits…With spoon on their eyes. Mayonnaise in their hair. Preparation H…The women of Atlanta are going to be sexy as hell tonight.” — Radio Host [14:10]
Timestamps for Main Segments
- 00:00 – 01:03: Ads and intro (skip)
- 01:03 – 01:59: Show setup—why they're sharing beauty secrets
- 01:59 – 03:06: Jamie Massey’s no-heat routine & Redken products
- 03:11 – 03:59: Baby powder for oily roots—Bert & Melissa’s take
- 05:24 – 05:56: Caller Erin & clay mask from Larosette
- 06:08 – 06:29: Visine for pimples—Caller Alison
- 06:34 – 07:47: Buffpuffs/Betadine & shaving face for wrinkles—Caller Lisa
- 08:14 – 08:26: Toothpaste for pimples—Caller Jessica
- 08:29 – 09:52: Coke hair rinse—Caller Ruth
- 10:08 – 11:29: Preparation H for post-cry puffy eyes—Caller Joanne
- 11:42 – 12:22: Lip balm overnight—Bert & Melissa
- 12:29 – 12:58: Band-Aid for pimples—Caller Allison
- 13:08 – 13:29: Frozen spoons, olive oil, mayo/veg oil for skin and hair (caller texts)
- 13:29 – 14:10: Eyebrow tweezing in car mirror—Bert’s tip
- 14:10 – 14:26: Humorous recap of beauty rituals
- 14:26 - End: Commercials/outro (skip)
Overall Tone
The episode is playful, personal, and lighthearted, with real, authentic advice delivered in a friendly, sometimes self-deprecating style. Candid confessions, quirky anecdotes, and listener inclusivity make for an engaging podcast session that’s both useful and entertaining.
For a full list of tips, tricks, and discussion, check The Bert Show’s online post as promised during the segment.
For Listeners Who Missed the Episode
This episode of The Bert Show is perfect for anyone looking for real-world beauty solutions, fun hacks, or just a bit of relatable morning chatter. The hosts and their callers share both tried-and-true classics and out-of-left-field innovations—giving you plenty to experiment with next time you’re in the mood for a DIY beauty night!