Vault: Bert Calls Stacy's Dad

Summary

---

The Bert Show – "Vault: Bert Calls Stacy's Dad"

Date: October 31, 2025
Podcast: The Bert Show (Pionaire Podcasting)
Cast: Bert, Kristin, Jeff, Cassie, Tommy & others

---

Episode Overview

This lively and humorous episode centers on Bert grappling with a common "guy problem": discomfort expressing emotions, especially with his father-in-law, Don. Bert recounts an awkward phone exchange where he’s unsure if Don actually told him "I love you." The team brainstorms how Bert should address this, ultimately leading him to call Don live on air—with an emotional twist.

---

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Men and Expressing Emotions

• Bert talks about how he gets along with his father-in-law, but both struggle with verbalizing affection ("We have no idea how to show our emotions to each other." [00:04])
• He recalls the first time his wife, Stacy, said, "I love you," and how he hesitated to reciprocate because he didn't feel it yet, causing awkwardness (00:18).

2. Awkward Uncertainty

• Bert describes a recent phone call with Don, where Don may have said "I love you," but Bert wasn't sure because it sounded hidden ("He kind of stealthed me on the whole 'I love you.'" [00:53])
• The team jokes about how the sentiment was "put on the mattress and then made the bed over it," meaning it was hidden under the surface (Cassie, [00:59]).

3. What Should Bert Do?

• Bert debates how to address the situation: Should he call Don and ask directly if he said "I love you," or just say "I love you" first and see what happens upon hanging up? (01:10–01:57)
• The group weighs the pros and cons of both approaches, with Kristin favoring an honest but awkward confrontation and Jeff advocating for a "test the waters" scenario.

4. Role Play & Radio Show Antics

• They humorously discuss how odd it would be to transition from a random question straight to "I love you" ("That's gonna be so bizarre if you're like, 'Does that new diet coke with lemon really taste like tab? Okay, I love you. Bye.'" [02:00]).

5. The Live Call to Don

• Bert calls Don live under the pretense of settling a golf bet, with the rest of the cast listening in (02:43).
• Bert asks Don to clarify the meaning of "eagle" in golf. Don corrects Bert, confirming it's two under par, not a hole-in-one (03:13–03:15).
• After resolving the bet, Bert ends the call with: "All right. Love you, man." (03:33)
• Don replies simply: "See you, man," offering no reciprocal "I love you" (03:34).

6. Reactions and Reflection

• The cast laughs about the interaction and teases that now Don will spend the next 48 hours pondering if Bert really said "I love you" to him (Cassie, [03:51]-[03:59]).
• Bert notes, "He's going through the same thing I went through," highlighting the full-circle moment (03:59).

---

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Emotional Awkwardness:
  • "He kind of stealthed me on the whole 'I love you.'"
    — Bert ([00:53])
• On Hidden Feelings:
  • "I think he put it on the mattress and then made the bed over it, so to speak."
    — Cassie ([00:59])
• Pre-call Nerves:
  • "I'm going to tell him we're on the radio anyway."
    — Bert ([02:38])
• The moment of truth:
  • "All right. Love you, man."
    — Bert ([03:33])
  • "See you, man."
    — Don ([03:34])
• The aftermath:
  • "You know what the best part about that is? The fact that he's gonna spend the next 48 hours wondering if you really said that to him."
    — Cassie ([03:51])

---

Timestamps for Important Segments

• 00:04 — Bert sets up the "I love you" dilemma with his father-in-law
• 00:53 — Bert describes the ambiguous way Don may have said "I love you"
• 01:10–01:57 — Team debate: direct or indirect confrontation?
• 02:43 — Bert calls Don live on air
• 03:13–03:15 — Don clarifies golf terminology ("eagle" is two under)
• 03:33 — Bert says "Love you, man."
• 03:34 — Don responds: "See you, man."
• 03:51 — Cassie jokes about Don being left to wonder

---

Episode Highlights & Tone

The episode is warm, funny, and authentic, capturing the Bert Show's signature blend of relatable life moments and irreverent camaraderie. The tension between male vulnerability and social awkwardness is explored with both humor and heart, making listeners laugh while also echoing universal relational dynamics.

---

Transcript

[A]

This is the Birch show.

[B]

Me and my father in law get along great. But I think we probably have the same problem that a lot of guys have with each other. We have no idea how to show our emotions to each other. I have a long history of not telling my wife's family that when they say I love you to me, I don't say it back. The first time when she said, well, the first time Stacey said I love you to me, I didn't feel it yet. You know, I wasn't sure. So I didn't say I love you back. And that was pretty uncomfortable. But like two nights ago, her dad was on the phone with me and we were just getting off. I was just getting ready to hang up when he basically said I love you. And I didn't quite catch it. You know, I wasn't sure if he really said I love you or not. Cause I said to him, do you want to say goodbye to Stacy? And he said, no, just tell her I love you and you too, and I'll talk to you later. It was kind of hidden. He kind of stealthed me on the whole life.

[C]

He didn't come out and say I love you?

[B]

No, he kind of. He brought it in with both.

[C]

I think he put it on the mattress and then made the bed over it, so to speak.

[B]

Yeah, I mean, I really couldn't tell if it was a true I love you or not.

[A]

I think you were saying I love you.

[B]

I don't know. I just don't know. So what I was gonna do is call Jeff suggested I call him. Cause I should have called last night or the night before, and I didn't. And I should have flat out asked him, you know, did you say I love you or not? And that would have been fine, but guys can't do.

[A]

Guys are different than. Yeah, you guys are a different breed.

[B]

Jeff suggested I call him today and just like do some random question to him. And then before I sign off, say I love you and see if he'll say it back. Or I can come clean and just go, hey, did you say I love you the other night? Yeah.

[A]

And I was. I was telling you to do that to him.

[B]

What are you feeling right now? What would be more natural for you right now to just come clean and go, hey, did you say I love you?

[A]

I think you should.

[B]

I think you should follow your dude.

[C]

No, no, no, no.

[A]

Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. And then say, I love you.

[B]

Love you. Okay, so you.

[C]

I think you just call him and ask him a question and end it.

[B]

By saying, love you, and see what he says back.

[A]

That's gonna be so bizarre if you're like, mm, does that new diet coke with lemon really taste like tab? Okay, I love you. Bye.

[C]

Yeah, and just end it. Like, refer to something that you were talking about and then say, hey, real quick, I'm on the air, but I got a quick question for you. And turn our mics off so he can't hear us.

[A]

Wait, but Bert, if you do it the other way, you'll know if he actually said it to you. Cause you're asking him and then you're saying it back to him. You're reciprocating.

[B]

Yeah, that would be the honest way, but it's not the radio friendly one.

[C]

Yeah, we need the radio work.

[B]

Okay, I'm taking you GU offline, so.

[D]

Hopefully enter your account code 315.

[B]

I don't think he can hear you guys. Okay, I'm gonna tell him we're on the radio anyway.

[C]

Yeah, so he doesn't sue us.

[D]

Hello?

[B]

Hey, Don.

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

Hey, it's Bert.

[D]

Bert, how you doing?

[B]

I'm good. How are you Doing?

[D]

Good.

[B]

I'm doing the show right now. We're on the air, actually.

[D]

Oh, no kidding.

[B]

Yeah, we've got a. We've got an on air bet. Jeff here always, always believes he's right, and he can never say when he's wrong. And we were just talking about golf, and you know there's no more hardcore golf guy than you, right?

[D]

Well, I guess not.

[B]

I told him that an eagle is when you get a hole in one, right? And he said, an eagle is two over on a hole.

[D]

No, an eagle's two under.

[B]

Two under.

[C]

That's where I said no. I said two under. No, you did say you just didn't know how to forget it.

[B]

All right, I figured. How you doing?

[D]

Not bad.

[B]

How about you? Doing good. There's 100 bucks on the table. And I thought I was going to win 100 bucks.

[D]

Oh, wait, I can lie. Bert.

[B]

All right, you just cleared it up for us. Thanks.

[D]

Okay.

[B]

All right. Love you, man.

[D]

See you, man.

[B]

See you. He didn't say that, so I'll be there. Nicely done.

[C]

You know what the best part about that is? The fact that he's gonna spend the next 48 hours wondering if you really said that to him.

[B]

He's going through the same thing I went through.

[C]

Way to spin it around. Nicely done.

[A]

This is the Burt Show.