Summary3 min read

The Bert Show

Episode: Vault: Bert got a lapdance from Blondie at Clairmont

Release Date: July 22, 2026

Episode Overview

This “Vault” episode features a hilarious and legendary story from Bert about his unforgettable experience at Atlanta’s iconic Claremont Lounge, specifically involving a lap dance from the venue’s most legendary entertainer, Blondie. The conversation is lighthearted, candid, and filled with the authentic, relatable humor that The Bert Show is known for, giving listeners a peek into personal stories you can’t make up.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Bert’s Legendary Claremont Lounge Experience

Bert recounts the evening at Claremont Lounge:
- Bert shares that the experience was so memorable, it had to be mentioned on-air.
- He explains how the lap dance wasn’t something he requested himself, but instead, it was initially purchased for someone else.
- As the dance went on, Blondie, the club’s 73-year-old star, made her rounds and eventually gave Bert the signature Claremont treatment.
- [00:46]
Notable Details About Blondie:
- Blondie is revealed as an authentic Claremont legend, famous for her age and fearless performances.
- The show emphasizes that at Claremont Lounge, getting a lap dance from Blondie is considered "top shelf" and a rite of passage for anyone who visits the famous Atlanta dive bar.
- [00:59]

2. The Signature Blondie Lap Dance

Blondie’s Unique Style:
- Bert describes with humor that Blondie “firmly put [his] head between her 73 year old breasts,” illustrating both the shock and comedy of the moment.
- The panel reacts with laughter and mock disbelief, adding to the segment’s lively tone.
- [01:01–01:14]
Audience Reaction:
- Reactions from the co-hosts range from playful disbelief (“Oh, stop it.”) to awe at witnessing a Claremont institution in action.
- Bert’s response to the experience is gratitude and respect for Blondie's status: "She is a legend there. Thank you, thank you, thank you."

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

Bert describes the encounter:
"Blondie lap dance. Stacy bought it for me. I didn't know who it was at the time. I mean, you got top shelf at Claremont to get Blondie to give you a lap."
— Bert [00:46–00:59]
Bert on Blondie's signature move:
"She took my head and firmly put it between her 73 year old breast."
— Bert [01:01]
Cohost’s shocked reaction:
"Oh, stop it."
— Cohost [01:12]
Bert’s respect for Blondie:
"She is a legend there. Thank you, thank you, thank you."
— Bert [01:14–01:23]

Timestamps for Important Segments

[00:46]—Bert introduces the Claremont Lounge experience and Blondie lap dance story
[00:59]—Bert explains the circumstances and the “top shelf” status of a Blondie lap dance
[01:01]—Blondie’s memorable move and Bert’s comedic description
[01:12]—Cohost drops a one-liner in response
[01:14]—Bert expresses gratitude and respect for Blondie’s legendary status

Episode Tone & Additional Notes

Tone: Playful, irreverent, and candid with plenty of friendly ribbing among the cast.
Vibe: A peek into an infamous Atlanta nightlife tradition, spotlighting the humor and outlandish side of real life with The Bert Show.
Length of Main Content: The main segment with the Claremont Lounge story takes up about a minute before sponsors and ads reappear.

This “Vault” episode is a classic example of The Bert Show’s ability to blend outrageous personal stories with humor and camaraderie, making listeners feel like part of the crew—especially for those who missed the original airing or simply want to relive a hilarious memory.

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Transcript12 lines

[00:01]
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[00:47]
C
I want to mention this while I was at Claremont Lounge. Legendary experience. Blondie dance. Blondie lap dance. Stacy bought it for me. I didn't know who it was at the time. I mean, you got top shelf at
[01:00]
B
Claremont to get blondie to give you a lap.
[01:01]
C
It was actually, actually bought for somebody else. But she started working her way around the, you know, all the dudes. And she took my head and firmly put it between her 73 year old breast.
[01:13]
B
Oh, stop it.
[01:14]
C
73. And you know what? I said thank you. She is a legend there. Thank you, thank you, thank you.
[01:24]
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