Vault: Bert is convinced he has the winning formula

Summary

Podcast Summary: "Vault: Bert is Convinced He Has the Winning Formula"

The Bert Show – June 5, 2026

---

Episode Overview

In this light-hearted, authentic morning show segment, Bert shares his unique “winning formula” for breaking his sports team curse. Disappointed by decades of supporting teams that never win championships, Bert explains his new tactic: he’s going to root for the teams playing against his beloved Chargers in hopes of flipping his luck. The team—and listeners—debate sports superstitions, fan rituals, and what it really means to support your team, all while serving The Bert Show’s trademark laughs and camaraderie.

---

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Bert’s Sports Curse and His “Winning Formula”

• Lifelong Disappointment: Bert confesses he’s never rooted for a team—neither college nor pro—that’s won a championship. (00:40)
  • “I have never rooted for a team that has won a championship. Not in college, not in pro. And my two true loves are the Padres in baseball and Chargers in football.” – Bert (00:45)
• Switching Sides: Frustrated with repeated losses, Bert has decided to root, superficially, for every team that plays against the Chargers in the playoffs.
  • “So I am going to root for every team that is playing against the Chargers in the playoffs.” – Bert (01:35)

2. Committing to the Bit: Full Jets Fan Mode

• The Gear Change: Bert plans to buy and wear Jets gear and even adorn his car with Jets flags for good measure.
  • “I am going to get a Jets jersey today... I am becoming a Jets fan.” – Bert (01:44)
• The Crew’s Reaction: The co-hosts are shocked, with one exclaiming:
  • “You cannot go and pay money for some ugly team’s colors.” – Co-host 2 (02:03)
• Bert’s Reasoning:
  • “If I want the Chargers to win, I must root against them.” – Bert (02:10)
• Super Bowl Dilemma: If the Chargers reach the Super Bowl, Bert says he’ll keep up his reverse-support streak—wearing the opposing team’s colors, even attending the game dressed as such, only switching after a win.
  • “I will have a backpack with a Chargers jersey. So once the game is wrapped up, then I could put that on.” – Bert (03:36)

3. Team Rituals, Superstitions, and Listener Input

• Are Fan Rituals Real?: The cast ponders if switching allegiances or fan superstitions (like wearing certain colors or sitting in special spots) truly affect the team’s fate.
  • “Wouldn’t some people argue that the success or failure of the team would weigh more on... the players rather than what color shirt you’re wearing, Bert?” – Co-host 3 (06:49)
  • Bert: “Well, yeah, at some point. But as a fan, you can only do what you can do. Like, everybody, I think, has their superstitions as a fan.” (07:07)
• Listener Call: Steelers Fan Weighs In:
  • A Steelers fan calls to advise Bert not to give up on his team, sharing their own rituals and dedication.
  • “I kicked my wife and my family out of the house during Steelers games because they were rooting for the other team.” – Caller (05:00)
  • Bert responds, highlighting the difference: “You can’t understand this mentality because Pittsburgh has, what, five super bowl championships?” (06:10)

4. The Bert Show Banter & Sports Fan Logic

• Playful Pushback:
  • The co-hosts express disbelief and mild outrage at Bert’s plan, with jokes about Bert dressing head-to-toe in Jets gear.
  • “Dude, I’m almost tempted to go buy it for you. So, it’s beyond what you would get for yourself—head to toe, like, I want you to be in a Jets uniform.” – Co-host 3 (07:57)
  • “Oh, you just cannot put on a Jets jersey. Oh, it just makes me sick.” – Co-host 2 (07:44)
• Bert’s Determination: Bert welcomes Jets paraphernalia and even considers watching the game at a Jets bar for full effect.
  • “Send me all your jets paraphernalia this week... I may go watch the game in a Jets bar this weekend.” – Bert (08:18)

---

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• “So if I want the Chargers to win, I must root against them.” – Bert (02:10)
• “But when you’ve been rooting for one team for so long and everything that you have done has failed, you gotta switch it up.” – Bert (04:24)
• “You cannot physically root for your team in another team’s jersey.” – Co-host 2 (04:42)
• “As a fan, you can only do what you can do… Like, everybody, I think, has their superstitions as a fan.” – Bert (07:07)
• “Oh, you just cannot put on a Jets jersey. Oh, it just makes me sick.” – Co-host 2 (07:44)

---

Timestamps for Important Segments

• Bert Explains His New Theory: 00:40–02:27
• Super Bowl Wardrobe Debate: 02:27–04:03
• Listener/Steelers Fan Calls In: 05:18–06:49
• Debate on Superstitions & Fan Rituals: 06:49–08:11
• Bert Doubles Down on Jets Fandom: 08:11–08:36

---

Final Thoughts

This episode is a classic example of The Bert Show’s mix of genuine storytelling, friendly ribbing, outrageous sports rituals, and listener involvement. Bert’s “winning formula” is both tongue-in-cheek and a relatable snapshot of sports fan culture at its most superstitious. Whether you agree with Bert or join the co-hosts in skeptical laughter, this segment offers a fun, insightful, and authentic Bert Show morning.

Transcript

[Hotels.com Announcer]

Hotels.com is the place you go to book hundreds of thousands of hotels. It's exactly what it sounds like. Just like Save your way from hotels.com is exactly what it sounds like. Choose to save now with an instant discount or bank that discount as rewards for later. Your trip. Your call Save your way [e-mail] it's all in the name.

[Spinquest Announcer]

Hanging out at the pool is great. Relaxing and playing Vegas style games on my phone at the same time. Drink in one hand and a blackjack in the other. It's all at spinquest. Over a thousand games including your favorite slots and table games. Be cool with this summer special new players get 30 coin packs for [e-mail]

[Burt (Main Host)]

Spin Quest is a free to play social casino void where prohibited. Visit spinquest.com for more details. This is the Bird Show Guys are going to be surprised when I walk in the door this week because today I'm going over to distant replays or wherever I have to go and I am wearing nothing but jets attire for the rest of the week. Why is this trying to Here is my theory. Here is my theory is that I have never rooted for a team that has won a championship. Not in college, not in pro. And my two true loves are the Padres in baseball and Chargers in football. And I've been a Chargers fan now for over 30 years and I have ridden up and down this roller coaster with him. And each year I love them and each year they lose. They've never won a national champ, They've never won the Super Bowl.

[Caller or Co-host 1]

Okay?

[Burt (Main Host)]

So here's what I'm doing this year. I'm going to change things up a little bit.

[Caller or Co-host 2]

All right?

[Burt (Main Host)]

I have decided that I'm going to root for every team that is playing against the Chargers in the playoffs.

[Caller or Co-host 1]

So in your heart though, you're not going to really be rooting for them.

[Burt (Main Host)]

It would be impossible. But at least on a superficial level, I can root for them. So I'm going out to get a Jets jersey today. I am going to get a T shirt, I'm going to get sweatshirts. And I am becoming a Jets fan. I was even thinking about putting the flags on my car. The jets flags on my car. No, it has to be done.

[Caller or Co-host 2]

You cannot go and pay money for some ugly team's colors.

[Burt (Main Host)]

I'm going to do it. I'm going to do it. Something has to be changed.

[Caller or Co-host 1]

That's not cool.

[Burt (Main Host)]

And this is the only way to do it. So if I want the Chargers to win, I must root against them.

[Caller or Co-host 1]

How many more Times do they have to win in order to go to the Super Bowl? Twice to win two more games to

[Burt (Main Host)]

beat the jets this weekend, and then the winner of the Colts and Ravens game on Sunday also.

[Caller or Co-host 3]

What if they go to the Super Bowl?

[Burt (Main Host)]

Then I will root for. If this works, then you got to keep. Then I got to keep it going.

[Caller or Co-host 3]

Are you going to the Super Bowl?

[Burt (Main Host)]

I am going to the Super Bowl. Well, you cannot wear there or not. I am going to the Super Bowl.

[Caller or Co-host 2]

So if your team's there, you cannot wear the other team's color.

[Burt (Main Host)]

I will wear the other team's colors. No way. I will. Until the Chargers, if they win, then I would put on the powder blues. But until then, I root for every team that's against the Chargers. Look, this happened just the other. Just the other night, right? Georgia Tech is playing against Iowa. Iowa the other night. I tweet right before the game, this Georgia fan hopes that Georgia Tech wins. They lose. Every team I root for loses. So I am rooting for the jets and I am rooting against the Chargers for the entire series.

[Caller or Co-host 1]

See, I understand the theory, but in your heart, you're really not rooting for the Jets.

[Burt (Main Host)]

That's the best I got.

[Caller or Co-host 2]

But if they make it to the super bowl up the Mojo, there's no way, dude, you've got to wear colors.

[Caller or Co-host 3]

Is it down in Miami?

[Burt (Main Host)]

Yes.

[Caller or Co-host 2]

Yes.

[Caller or Co-host 3]

So you're going to be in Miami.

[Burt (Main Host)]

Yes.

[Caller or Co-host 3]

Walking around the city if San Diego goes to the Super Bowl.

[Burt (Main Host)]

Yes.

[Caller or Co-host 3]

Be walking around the city of Miami.

[Burt (Main Host)]

Yes.

[Caller or Co-host 3]

Going to parties.

[Burt (Main Host)]

Right. In New Orleans. Saints jersey. If the Saints make it.

[Caller or Co-host 3]

And the game.

[Burt (Main Host)]

And the game also into the stadium. Now, I will tell you that I will have a backpack with a Chargers jersey. So once the game is wrapped up, then I could put that on. But if this works for the next couple of weeks, then I will don whoever the NFC championship champion is, if the Chargers are playing them. So if could be the Vikings, I get Viking stuff. Could be the Saints, I'll get Saint stuff.

[Caller or Co-host 3]

So you're going to go in today to whatever. Footlocker.

[Burt (Main Host)]

Yep.

[Caller or Co-host 3]

And get a Jets hat and it'll be on your head for the rest.

[Burt (Main Host)]

J E T S Jets. Jets.

[Caller or Co-host 1]

Jets.

[Burt (Main Host)]

This week. Wow.

[Caller or Co-host 1]

I just don't know if that'll work. I wonder if anybody has done that and switched up the Mojo and their team, like, went all the way and won the super bowl if they were rooting for everybody opposite of them the whole time. Because it just doesn't seem right.

[Burt (Main Host)]

But when you've been rooting for one team for so long and everything that you have done has. Has failed. You gotta switch it up.

[Caller or Co-host 1]

Yeah, but you won't be able to lose.

[Burt (Main Host)]

I will, because, again, in my heart, but on an outer level, I still got the skin of a Jets fan on.

[Caller or Co-host 2]

But you cannot physically root for your team in another team's jersey.

[Burt (Main Host)]

You saw me doing it against the Falcons.

[Caller or Co-host 2]

Well, because you had your team colors on.

[Burt (Main Host)]

No, I didn't. I had Falcons colors on that night. Remember? I was rooting for the Falcons because there was an obnoxious Chargers fan.

[Caller or Co-host 2]

You were the obnoxious.

[Caller or Co-host 3]

Okay, so. Yeah. So what do you do if you're at the game at the super bowl and you're wearing the same things and there's Chargers fans around you? Like, do you say to them, chargers suck?

[Burt (Main Host)]

No, I mean, I don't have to do that. But, I mean, the theory is, if this works for the next couple of weeks, then why would I switch it up for the biggest game of the year?

[Caller or Co-host 3]

I'm not even a sports fan. I can't imagine doing that.

[Caller or Co-host 2]

No way.

[Burt (Main Host)]

Good morning, Tom. You're on Q100.

[Caller 4 (Steelers Fan)]

Just go ahead and root for your Chargers, okay? I need for my jets to go to the super bowl. And if you're rooting for the Chargers, it'll make my anxiety a lot less. So, J, E, T S. Jets. Jets.

[Caller or Co-host 3]

Jets.

[Burt (Main Host)]

Go, Jets.

[Caller 4 (Steelers Fan)]

Oh, come on.

[Caller or Co-host 2]

How can you say that?

[Burt (Main Host)]

Good morning. Q100, yellow.

[Caller 4 (Steelers Fan)]

Hello.

[Burt (Main Host)]

Hello.

[Caller 4 (Steelers Fan)]

What's going on? Burt, I gotta tell you, man, this is a huge, huge mistake.

[Burt (Main Host)]

I don't know how it could be.

[Caller 4 (Steelers Fan)]

This is a huge. I'm a Steelers fan, okay? I've been a Steelers fan my entire life. Believe me, I hear where you're coming from, that I've been on the roller coaster. You know, granted, we've had championships. We've got. We've got super bowl victories. I was at the super bowl last year. I kicked my wife and my family out of the house during Steelers games because they were rooting for the other team.

[Burt (Main Host)]

Well, here is the difference between you and me. You can't understand this mentality because Pittsburgh has, what, five super bowl championships?

[Caller 4 (Steelers Fan)]

Well, six.

[Geico Gecko]

Six.

[Burt (Main Host)]

So you can't. Thank you. And most of the time, they make it to the Super Bowl. They beat the Chargers to get there, so you can't possibly understand.

[Caller 4 (Steelers Fan)]

But the game of numbers says that in due time, you're going to. And it could happen in several years, back to back. I mean, look what the Patriots did. They went so long without having any championships, and Then all of a sudden, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom. In five years, they got what, three? So your time is coming, my friend. Just don't, don't trade in your true blues.

[Caller or Co-host 3]

Now, wouldn't a more qualified. Because I'm not qualified to speak on sports, but more wouldn't some people argue that the success or failure of the team would weigh more on the quality of the coaching and athleticism of the players rather than what color shirt you're wearing, Bert?

[Burt (Main Host)]

Well, yeah, at some point. But as a fan, you can only do what you can do. Like, everybody, I think, has their superstitions as a fan. Like, if your team is losing and you turn the game off and they start to win, if you turn that game back on and they're winning while you weren't watching, I'll turn the TV back off.

[Caller or Co-host 2]

Oh, I will, too, because I want them to win. And I feel like if I turn off the TV that they're going to win without me watching them.

[Caller or Co-host 1]

Or if you're, like, sitting on a certain side of the couch and they're not doing well, you get up and you sit somewhere else and then they start doing well. You have to sit in that other chair.

[Burt (Main Host)]

So while we can't be down on the field and we can't be coaching, we have to do what we have to do as fans. And this is the only contribution I can make for my Chargers is to root for the other team.

[Caller or Co-host 2]

Oh, you just cannot put on a Jets jersey. Oh, it just makes me sick.

[Burt (Main Host)]

Doesn't bother me.

[Caller or Co-host 3]

You'll be tomorrow.

[Burt (Main Host)]

Yeah, I'm getting it today. I'm coming in here in a Jets jersey tomorrow and I want to get those flags. I'm going to put them on in the window. Yeah, I'm telling you, if they sell them, I'm going to get them today.

[Caller or Co-host 3]

Dude, I'm almost the biggest J E D s. Jets. Jets. I'm almost tempted to go buy it for you. So you are. So it's beyond what you would get for yourself. I mean, head to toe. Like, I want you to be in a Jets uniform. I want to. I want you to be.

[Burt (Main Host)]

I want you to be muffled because

[Caller or Co-host 3]

you're talking through a helmet.

[Burt (Main Host)]

That is my strategy for the next couple of. So I am the biggest jets fan you have ever met. Go ahead, send me all your jets paraphernalia this week. If you want, email me about where the jets fans are going to be watching the game this week. I may go watch the game in a Jets bar this weekend.

[Caller or Co-host 2]

Oh, you cannot do that because then you'll get hit.

[Burt (Main Host)]

J E T S Jets. Jets. Jets.

[Caller or Co-host 3]

Does that make sense?

[Caller or Co-host 2]

I'm so mad at you right now.

[Caller or Co-host 3]

I can't wait if the Chargers. When's the game this weekend?

[Burt (Main Host)]

I think it is on Sunday. I'm gonna have to check. I think it's the early Sunday game.

[Caller or Co-host 3]

I almost want to watch the game with you in your jet skier. And I want to make sure we have somebody good answering phones Monday morning if the Chargers lose because you are rooting for the Jets.

[Caller or Co-host 2]

Oh, see? See, now your stomach's a nut.

[Burt (Main Host)]

This is the Burch show.

[Bretzky]

What's up everybody? It's Bretzky. And America is turning 250. And I can't think of a better way to celebrate that than playing on an American owned social casino. Spinquest.com with all of your favorite games, live crafts, bubble craps, live blackjack, there's no better place to play for free and win real cash prizes. Spin Quest.com Spin Quest is a free

[Burt (Main Host)]

to play social casino void where prohibited. Visit spinquest.com for more details.

[Geico Gecko]

And now for a bit of breaking news. Between your breaking news with me, the geico gecko, here are some things you ought to know today. People who switch their car insurance to geico save about $900 a year. Experts are calling that nice to know. Also, plants can hear when bees buzz. My ficus just heard that. And finally, animal experts have confirmed that goats have regional accents. I'm getting a hint of Irish there.

[Burt (Main Host)]

It feels good to get good news. It feels good to geico.