Vault: Bert Is Taking a Break From Alcohol

Summary

The Bert Show
Episode: Vault: Bert Is Taking a Break From Alcohol
Date: May 21, 2026

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Episode Overview

In this candid and introspective episode, Bert, the show's host, opens up about his decision to take a break from alcohol, sharing both the motivations behind it and the challenges he’s faced. The conversation explores patterns of binge drinking, the struggle to moderate, the impact of social settings, and personal growth around substance use. The episode is marked by honesty, humor, and vulnerability, as both the hosts and callers discuss their own complicated relationships with alcohol.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Bert’s Decision to Take a Break

• The Catalyst: Bert recounts a heavy weekend of drinking during a trip to Nashville for the Georgia vs. Vanderbilt game, followed by another bender the next weekend with friends from Pennsylvania and events like "Big Wicked" (01:30–01:54).
  • "I went to Nashville for the Georgia game, and just really did it up alcohol wise with Mark... in an ugly way." – Bert (01:30)
• Embarrassing Moments: The aftermath, with colleagues commenting on his apparent inebriation, was a wake-up call.
  • "You could see the vacant look in Bert's eyes where he's like, I saw you. When did I see you?" – Friend/Co-host (01:54)
  • “We had a whole bunch of people in the limo, and the limo had to stop because I thought I was gonna throw up...I'm not bragging about this. I'm embarrassed by it." – Bert (02:21)
• Motivation for Change: Realizing he no longer wanted to be "that guy," especially as a parent, Bert decided to abstain from alcohol for November, targeting Thanksgiving as an endpoint (02:46–03:14).

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2. Navigating Social Situations Without Drinking

• Show of Willpower: Bert describes going to bars and parties without drinking, such as choosing 7-Up and club soda instead of alcohol, even when beer was literally within arm's reach (03:14–04:20).
  • "Chicken wings and a seven up. Not for me, but that was... strong, right?" – Friend/Co-host (03:30)
  • “The tap is right there. You pour your own... Could I just have a club soda?” – Bert (04:07–04:20)
• Reflection on His Pattern: He self-identifies as a binge drinker—someone who “drinks with intent,” and not someone who can just have a casual drink at home (04:22).

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3. The Real Challenge: Moderation

• Testing Himself: While abstaining was surprisingly easy, moderation—drinking just a few drinks slowly throughout the night—proved much harder, especially during a family Thanksgiving dinner in Hilton Head (04:22–06:36).
  • “Drinking like a normal, healthy person and then just being done... was way harder than I thought it was gonna be.” – Bert (05:08)
  • "Once I had the drink in hand and I started drinking, it is like I wanted to pour it down my throat... one an hour." – Bert (05:31)
• Debating Next Steps: Bert expresses uncertainty about whether to give up drinking entirely or keep trying to moderate (06:08–06:36).
  • "I don't know if I should give it up entirely now or..." – Bert (06:36)

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4. Social Pressures and Mentality

• Internal Monologue: While others enjoy social conversation, Bert is focused on resisting the urge to keep drinking—often fighting the desire to get another round or push for shots (06:38–07:27).
  • “All night long I kept sort of like reserving the urge to say, hey, let's do a shot of Patron.” – Bert (07:54)
• Habit vs. Intention: Hosts discuss the difference between drinking to relax versus drinking to escape and have fun (07:27–07:54).
  • “If you're gonna drink, you do it to get stupid and have fun and not relax and be social.” – Bert (07:44)

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5. Relationship with Alcohol’s Taste and Purpose

• Bert’s Admission: He frankly says he doesn't like the taste of alcohol, and drinks for escapism and numbness—the buzz is the primary motivation, not pleasure or flavor (08:47–09:01).
  • “I don't like the taste of alcohol. I don't like the taste of beer... It's escapism, really. It’s just to get numb through the night.” – Bert (08:47)
• Drinking Abroad: Even in places like Italy, he admits that the goal is still to get buzzed (09:14).

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6. Listener Calls: Shared Experiences

• Listener Eric calls in: Shares a psychiatric term, "dipsomania," describing the inability to stop drinking once started (09:44–10:21).
  • "You can have that one drink... but you just can't stop till you just keep getting higher." – Eric (09:44)
• Listener Mary echoes Bert's experience: She’s a classic binge drinker—can abstain in social settings, but once she starts, she can’t stop (12:01–13:04).
  • “The second that I have that first drink... it's on.” – Mary (12:07)
  • “There’s beer that you like and then there’s beer that you drink...I’m not drinking it for the taste.” – Mary (13:04)
• Bert agrees: He equates "more fun" directly with "more drinking" and admits needing to change this mentality (13:34–13:45).

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7. Friend Groups and Support

• Pressure to Drink: Bert admits to sometimes avoiding parties to resist peer pressure (11:00).
• Friend/Co-host asks: Would his friends support his moderation? Bert describes two groups—those with kids (supportive/non-issue) and those without (heavier drinkers, more pressure) (11:19–11:54).
• Concerns: Co-host expresses concern about friend influence, recalling experiences with friends in recovery and the necessity of being intentional about support (13:48–14:05).

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• "You just get to an age, you know? I feel like I got kids now. Even though the party's always in me, I just don't want to be that guy." – Bert (02:46)
• "I am, and I have always been, a binge drinker. I drink with intent..." – Bert (04:22)
• "Once I had the drink in hand and I started drinking, it is like I wanted to pour it down my throat..." – Bert (05:31)
• "If you're gonna drink, you do it to get stupid and have fun and not relax and be social." – Bert (07:44)
• "I don't like the taste of alcohol. I don't like the taste of beer... It's escapism, really." – Bert (08:47)
• "You can, you know, you have that one drink, but you can't... you basically can't stop drinking." – Eric, caller (09:44)
• "The second that I have that first drink, ...it's on." – Mary, caller (12:07)
• "I equate more fun with more drinking. The more fun, the more buzzed you're gonna be. And I gotta totally change that mentality or give it up altogether." – Bert (13:34)

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Important Timestamps

• 01:30–02:46: Bert describes the heavy drinking weekends and embarrassing moments that led to taking a break.
• 03:14–04:20: Bert describes resisting drinks in tempting social situations.
• 05:08–06:36: Bert’s struggle with moderation at Thanksgiving.
• 09:44–10:21: Listener Eric introduces "dipsomania" and shares his experience.
• 12:01–13:04: Listener Mary shares a similar pattern to Bert’s.
• 13:34–13:45: Bert reflects on linking fun with drinking and needing to change his approach.

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Episode Tone & Style

The conversation remains light with the humor and camaraderie typical of The Bert Show, but underlying this are honest admissions, vulnerability, and a real struggle with personal growth. Bert’s willingness to grapple with these issues openly encourages further discussion, with listeners chiming in and the co-hosts admitting their own observations.

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This episode offers valuable insight into the challenges of changing personal habits, especially around drinking, and highlights the complexities of social dynamics, self-motivation, and how ingrained behaviors can be. It's a relatable exploration for anyone reconsidering their relationship with alcohol.

Transcript

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[Burt]

The Burt show so late October I went to Nashville for the Georgia game for the Georgia Vandy game and just really did it up alcohol wise with Mark. Really did it up. I mean in an ugly way. And the weekend after that we had some friends in town from Pennsylvania, did it up again on Friday night. Then we had Jackie Lantern on Saturday night and I got stupid again.

[Interviewer]

Big Wicked.

[Burt]

Big Wicked. Yeah, on Saturday night.

[Friend/Co-host]

The Big Wicked stories were funny because for about two, three weeks after Big Wicked people would come into the studio, like either salespeople or other people, you know, management or just people coming in like guests on the show. And everyone would say, oh dude, I saw you Big Wicked man. You look like you're having a good time. And you could see the vacant look in Burt's eyes where he's like, I saw you. When did I see you? And even one of them was like,

[Burt]

we rode there together at one point of the night. And I'm not bragging about this. I'm embarrassed by it. But at one point of the night, we had a whole bunch of people in the limo, and the limo had to stop because I thought I was gonna throw them up. It's right in front of, like, the varsity. So they stop the limo, I get out, take some breaths, do that whole self talk thing. You can do this. You don't have to throw up. You're gonna be okay.

[Interviewer]

Oh, that's not a good place to be.

[Burt]

And I didn't yak. And I got back in the limo, but I was embarrassed, and I felt like an idiot. You just get to an age, you know? I feel like I got kids now. Even though the party's always in me, I just don't want to be that guy. And I haven't wanted to be with him for, you know, a while, right? So I thought, all right, I'm taking November off from drinking. So I did for, like, three and a half weeks. And the target date really was Thanksgiving, because I knew once I got around Stacy's family that the alcohol was going to be flowing. But I talked from, like, the first all the way to November 25th off.

[Friend/Co-host]

And I was around Bert on two occasions. One, we ended up at the same time at the same. Well, we were going to. Having dinner together, and Burt pulled into the parking lot and saw that the new Sandy Springs Taco Mac was open. Smelled new.

[Jake Stauch]

The beer.

[Friend/Co-host]

Smelled new.

[Burt]

Love that new bar smell.

[Friend/Co-host]

So we get in there and, you know, say that the. The server comes over, and I say, yeah, I'll have a basket of fries, 420. And I look at Bert, and Bert says, I have the chicken wings and a seven up. Not for me, but that was. Yeah, that was strong, right? And then, like, the next week, we did that softball game with Brian McCann. And afterwards, we all went over to stats to. I mean, like, half a dozen of us, 10 of us. And we sat at one of the tables. They have the taps built into the table. And I'm looking at Bert. We are sitting opposite. Yeah, I'm looking at it. We're at opposite ends of the table.

[Burt]

It's an arm's reach. The tap is right there. You pour your old bone.

[Friend/Co-host]

And the server comes, and he's handing out glasses, and he gets to Burt. There's a little bit of hesitation. And Burt says, could I just have a club soda? So.

[Burt]

And it really wasn't a problem.

[Friend/Co-host]

It was impressive.

[Burt]

And I am, and I have always been a binge drinker. I drink with intent, like people that go home and they have one drink a night just to calm down. I have never understood that. I mean, started in high school, I just got into that pattern, and that's how I drink, you know? So I thought, all right, I gotta put the brakes on this, and I gotta relearn how to drink, so I'm not gonna drink at all in November. And I passed up parties where I knew that I'd be tempted. That part of not drinking was no problem at all. When the alcohol was in front of me, when Jeff and Jen were drinking and I didn't have a drink, no problem at all. 0. Staying away from the parties, no problem. But Stacey's always maintained that the real test is just social drinking.

[Friend/Co-host]

Having three drinks in a night and being done with it.

[Burt]

Drinking like a normal, healthy person and then just being done, and then going to bed without a buzz or without getting a total drink on. And down in Hilton Head for Thanksgiving weekend, the whole family went out. And I tried this. This whole pacing yourself through the night thing. And I did it. But it was way harder than I thought it was gonna be.

[Interviewer]

In what ways? What made it hard?

[Burt]

Once I have a drink in my hand, and I know that there are probably alcoholics listening right now, going, this dude is describing himself as an alcoholic. Once I had the drink in hand and I started drinking, it is like I wanted to pour it down my throat, like one. I was doing one an hour.

[Friend/Co-host]

That's a type of alcoholism, without a doubt.

[Burt]

I haven't looked it up online, but I'm absolutely sure it is.

[Friend/Co-host]

I think it's called binge alcoholism, and it's where you could go a year without ever having a drink. But when you do get that first one or two in you, then you go hard. And that happens every single time you drink.

[Burt]

It was really hard. We started with a drink at 7 o' clock at dinner, and we probably stayed out till 12 or 12:30. And I had four drinks all night long, so one an hour, which for me is really, really slow. Normally it would probably be two, and I'd be buzzed by the end of the night, and I'd be the guy pushing everybody for shots. It was way more difficult than I thought it was, and I'm not exactly sure what to make of it. I don't know if I should give it up entirely now or I should give it to you.

[Friend/Co-host]

So what do you do now?

[Burt]

I don't know. I'm not really sure.

[Interviewer]

Like, what's the conversation going on inside your head? Because everybody else is probably focused on the conversation that's happening. You know, your family's chatting and you're talking and they're just sort of sipping on whatever they have in front of them. Well, your mind, is there a whole different conversation going on?

[Burt]

It's two different answers. First of all, their family drinks a lot anyway. So pretty much everybody in that family drinks with the same intention. Like, if we're all going out, we all know we're probably going to get.

[Friend/Co-host]

It's a taxi night.

[Burt]

It's going to be. It's a taxi night, Right? But for me, it was a constant reminding myself, slow down, you don't need another one. When the server came and asked everybody if they wanted a round, a couple of times I passed, which I never have done. Even if I have a full glass, I'll get another one. Just making sure that I don't run out of it.

[Friend/Co-host]

The server doesn't come back, dude, that's an issue.

[Burt]

So it was a real battle, man. I mean, it's a real problem because

[Friend/Co-host]

I think the people that drink just a couple drinks are just wanting to relax, and that's their intention. And then when they feel like it's getting beyond relaxing is when they stop because they think, oh, I don't want to. You know, because if there. It's like the intention of the night is just to chill, you know, and just to relax and unwind a little bit.

[Burt]

And my mentality has never really developed past, like, being 22 or 23 years old. Like, if you're gonna drink, you do it to get stupid and have fun and not relax and be social.

[Friend/Co-host]

Right.

[Burt]

So all night long I kept sort of like reserving the urge to say, hey, let's do a shot of Patron. What about another round for everybody? It was really difficult.

[Friend/Co-host]

What about drinking as an accompaniment, like, to a meal? Like, for example, I had dinner last night with a friend, and while we ate, we each had two beers and that was it. Like, there was no intention. We certainly weren't.

[Burt]

I don't understand that mentality. Like, it adds to the meal for you.

[Friend/Co-host]

Well, I just think, yeah, definitely. Yeah.

[Interviewer]

Like, we were especially with wine or, you know, like selecting a good wine to go. We met and have one glass and that's it.

[Friend/Co-host]

We met at Five Seasons, so it's a beer place, and we Were sitting in the bar, so it just kind of seemed like, I got a pizza. I'm gonna have a beer with it. And then we were talking, and it just. You know, he talked through two beers, and then that was it.

[Burt]

Yeah, I don't really. I mean, if I had to be totally honest and totally strip it down, like, I don't like the taste of alcohol. I don't like the taste of beer. I don't like the taste of vodka. So if I'm drinking, it's. For one thing, it's escapism, really. It's just to get numb through the night.

[Interviewer]

Now, when you guys were in Italy, didn't you say it was a little bit different when you guys were on vacation and you were, like, having the long dinners and the wine and stuff? Like, was that any different, or was that. Still drink wine until you get to that stage?

[Burt]

It was a. It was too. It wasn't as bad, but it was definitely like, if we're drinking wine, we're gonna drink to get buzzed. And we did.

[Interviewer]

Right?

[Burt]

Good morning. Is it eerie?

[Eric]

Eric.

[Burt]

Eric. She forgot to see. Good morning. What's up, Erie? How are you?

[Friend/Co-host]

It's a small but an important letter,

[Burt]

and there's only four letters to it. Each and every one of them are very important. What's going on?

[Eric]

Nothing. I was just gonna say, years ago, when I was in New York, I actually had a psychiatrist tell me that that's called dipsomania, as crazy as that sounds. And he said, basically, it's. It's that you can, you know, you have that one drink, but you can't. It's like, you know, you try to set that limit for three. You know, I want to have three. And then you'll find some excuse, but you just. You basically can't stop drinking Months without drinking, you know, several months, you know, quit drinking. But then whenever you have those couple of drinks, it's just. It starts creeping up on you, and you just. You can't stop till you just keep getting higher.

[Burt]

Yeah. And it's not that you can't stop, because I did. It was just the first time I'd ever tried it, and it was way more difficult than I thought it was gonna be. And like he said, I could probably go months without a drink and be fine, no problem. I did it with weeks, for weeks, and I had no desire at all to have any alcohol.

[Friend/Co-host]

I think it's. Well, you know, it's also, like, with smoking or any. Or eating or anything. When you're in a pack or when you're at home or with your buddies, you know, the difficulty comes not only. I mean, if you were by yourself, you could do whatever you wanted to do. But I think the temptation comes if you're going out then. I mean, do you avoid your friends all the time? Because, you know, when you go out with them, they're gonna party.

[Burt]

I know, and I did have to do that a couple of times during those three and a half, four weeks that I didn't drink. I mean, there were some parties going on. One of my best friends was having a party at his restaurant, and I avoided it completely. Cause I knew if I went in there for one, it was gonna be the same kind of pressure I give. Everybody else was gonna be on me. So I just avoided the night altogether. Yeah, do you.

[Friend/Co-host]

Go ahead.

[Interviewer]

No, go ahead.

[Friend/Co-host]

I was just gonna say, do you have any friends that would be. Would back you up, like, if you went out? I know most of the people you hang out with, so I think I can answer this with a no. But, like, if you said to one of them, hey, look, you got to get my back on this. I'm not gonna. I'm gonna go out tonight, and I'm gonna have three vodkas, and that's it. Three, whatever you drink. And so help me out. Don't let them pressure me, distract them.

[Burt]

Yeah, I've got two different groups of friends. I've got the friends that you're talking about right there that go out that don't have kids, and. And I've got friends that have kids. If I go out with the friends

[Friend/Co-host]

that have kids, the ones with kids are the big drinkers, aren't they?

[Burt]

The ones without the kids are the big drinkers. If I go out with the parents, then it's. Then that's no problem at all.

[Friend/Co-host]

Right.

[Burt]

Good morning, mary. You're on Q100.

[Mary]

I'm just calling. I'm laughing because you guys are describing me. Absolute tea.

[Interviewer]

Really?

[Mary]

I mean, I think the difference is I can go out in a social setting and not drink. That is not a problem. I don't avoid social situations. But this second that I have that first drink, glass of wine, martini, beer, whatever, it's on.

[Burt]

That's exactly how I feel like I could be around people that are drinking, no problem. But if I have the first sip, then I'm in for the night.

[Mary]

Well, I think the difference is, too. I'm definitely a social drinker. I mean, there is no way in the world, you know, if my husband were out of town or whatever. That I'm going to come home, crack a bottle of wine, open a beer or whatever and have a drink by myself. I mean, it is absolutely a social setting for me. Same with smoking. I don't smoke at home. But this. Open that first beer, Open that first, you know, had the first glass of wine, you know, cigarette in hand. Definitely, definitely binge situation.

[Interviewer]

I was curious, like, is it the feeling of the buzz that makes you want to keep going till the ultimate end? But you just said it's the first sip, so it's not the feeling of a buzz that makes you want to keep staying more buzzed.

[Mary]

It's like, well, I definitely have an agenda. I'm the same way. I mean, like, there's. I think there's a difference in beer that you like and then there's beer that you drink. I mean, like, I can go out and have, you know, a higher gravity beer or Guinness or a dark beer and have that. But, you know, I definitely don't drink for the. In any sense. I mean, I do enjoy alcoholic. I enjoy good wines. You know, I enjoy, you know, a nice martini. But even in my mind, I'm not drinking it for the taste.

[Burt]

Yeah, me neither.

[Friend/Co-host]

Not Burt. Burt, enjoy.

[Interviewer]

It's like once you start your head, your direction is the finish line.

[Burt]

I equate more fun with more drinking. The more fun, the more buzzed you're gonna be. And I gotta totally change that mentality or give it up altogether.

[Interviewer]

Right?

[Burt]

Cause just having one means having eight.

[Interviewer]

So.

[Friend/Co-host]

Yeah, it's just. Yeah. I'm more worried about the friend groups than anything and you being able to give it up. Because one of my friends is a recovering alcoholic. And it is. It is a totally different setting when we're out with her and her girlfriend than it is with other people. And I'm always having to tell Katie, Katie, remember what we're doing, who we're going with.

Right?

[Burt]

Oh, no.

[Friend/Co-host]

Hey.

[Burt]

The Birch Show.

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