Vault: Bert loves the business that drives home drunk people

Summary

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The Bert Show – Vault: Bert Loves the Business That Drives Home Drunk People

Date: July 21, 2026

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Episode Overview

In this engaging throwback episode, The Bert Show crew discusses innovative businesses designed to safely drive home people who have been drinking—specifically, the unique services like "Zingo" that help prevent driving under the influence (DUI) by sending drivers to transport both people and their vehicles. The segment explores the origins, mechanics, and personal experiences with these services, while also reflecting on what it means to “have life figured out.” The conversation is peppered with humor, candid anecdotes, and introspective moments where the hosts and callers reflect on different definitions of happiness and fulfillment.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. The Surprising Success of Simple Business Ideas

• The show opens (after ads) with a reflection on unlikely business successes, using the Snuggie as an example, setting the stage for the discussion about ride services for drunk drivers.
  • [01:07] C: “You know how you were talking about how, like, nobody really could have predicted that the Snuggie was gonna make $20 million?”

2. Zingo: “The Business That Gets Drunk People (And Their Cars) Home”

• What is Zingo?

  • A service for those who’ve had too much to drink. You call them, and they get you and your car home safely—sometimes with a collapsible moped, sometimes with a chase car.
  • [01:43] D: “We’ve talked about it on the show before.”
  • [01:59] C: “So you call up Zingo, you got your drink on a little bit, right?”
  • Zingo drivers arrive with a fold-up moped (in theory) or a second car. They drive you in your car, then use the moped/car to leave.

• Legal Context: Georgia’s Strict Laws

  • [02:02] C: “Georgia is a no tolerance state. So even if you’re not at the legal limit…if you have any alcohol in your system at all, you could still get arrested.”
  • [02:35] A: “I think they can arrest you even if you don’t have anything, if they think you’re impaired.”

• Why People Use It

  • Avoids the hassle of leaving your car at the bar.
  • Particularly useful for group events and after big sports games.
  • [03:59] E: “A lot of people...don’t want to call a taxi and leave the car at the bar.”

• Costs and Value

  • [05:52] C: “It was $28, and it dropped the couple that we were with off before us in the Buckhead area. So 28 bucks as opposed to a DUI?”
    • All agree: Absolutely worth it.

3. Personal Stories & Humorous Moments

• Funny Anecdotes about Other Services

  • A's “I’m Smart” service story: Car ended up parked diagonally in his yard, making it look like he drove drunk, even though he used the service.
    • [05:12] A: “They parked the car diagonally in the front yard...I looked at it going, hold on. I called the unsmart people...but we’re gonna let all your neighbors know that you were wasted.”

• Zingo for Tailgates & Group Outings

  • [06:03] C: “During football season, for $175, you can bring, like, 10 people up to UGA for a game in your own car...Zingo will drive you back from Athens in your own car.”

• Humor About Drivers' Patience

  • [06:45] A: “Do you know what sort of mind-numbing medication the driver is on to be in the car with 10 drunk Uga fans?”

4. Alternatives: Call-In from Listener, “Safe Ride”

• [07:05] F (Dana): “There’s also something called Safe Ride where...the person gets out and drives you and your friends in their car while the other person follows.”

5. “Feeling Like a Failure?” — Vulnerability & Stigma

• [07:23] C: “You feel a little foolish making the call...felt like a failure.”
• [07:30] E: “Yeah, what a loser, man. I’m calling Zingo and they’re gonna come pick me up in a scooter, but I’m gonna go for it anyway...I’ll take 28 bucks every single time.”
  • The group agrees: busting the stigma is worth avoiding dangerous or costly outcomes.

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Most Notable Quotes & Moments

• On making better choices:

  • [02:50] C: “Once you start to use the word probably, I know I could have made it. But I was legally probably best [off not driving].”
  • [03:20] C: “Here’s what they do...they drive you home in your car and then they take the folded scooter moped out of your trunk, get on it and zzzz.”

• On the costs and consequences:

  • [05:52] C: “28 bucks as opposed to a DUI?”
  • [06:26] E: “If you’ve ever been in Athens before trying to get a taxi, it’s impossible after a game...if you set it up in advance, they will be up there.”

• On the “life figured out guy”:

  • [08:19] E: “So he is on vacation the majority of the year and on the tips and everything he does for four or five months...he is able to live his life, you know, freely the rest of the year.”
  • [09:28] D: “We all discuss the fact that he has figured it out.”
  • [09:41] C: “So you’re saying this guy who’s got, like, the key to his life is traveling?”

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Segment Timestamps

• 01:07 — Introducing the topic: Zingo, the ride home service
• 02:02 — Georgia’s DUI laws and personal experiences
• 03:20 — How Zingo works + stigma around calling them
• 05:12 — Anecdotes about similar services (I’m Smart)
• 05:52 — Cost discussion: $28 vs. a DUI
• 06:03 — Zingo for large group tailgate trips
• 07:05 — Listener call: Alternative “Safe Ride” service
• 07:23 — Admitting the social awkwardness of using these services
• 08:17 — The “life figured out” bartender story begins
• 09:28 — Hosts reflect on happiness, meaning, and “having it all figured out”

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Insights & Takeaways

• Innovative services fill a real need: Zingo and similar businesses make it easier for people to get home safely, addressing both the practical (getting your car home) and the legal/human costs of DUIs.
• Conversations change perceptions: Stigma still exists around using such services, but open, honest stories (and humor) help normalize smarter, safer decisions.
• There’s no single formula for happiness: The crew’s discussion flows from ride services to a broader, relatable conversation about life satisfaction—whether that’s working to live, living to travel, or finding peace in faith.
• Humor and real talk mix naturally: Despite the serious subject, the show keeps a light tone, highlighting the importance of laughing at ourselves while taking safe actions.

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Final Thoughts

This episode is a lively reminder that sometimes simple, clever business ideas can have a huge impact—not just economically, but on real lives. The Bert Show brings their signature blend of wit, honesty, and empathy to a conversation about responsibility, happiness, and redefining what it means to “have it all figured out.”

Transcript

[A]

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[C]

Refreshers contain caffeine. You're on the vert show. You know, I had a perfect time to mention this when you were talking about your inventions and stuff.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

A second ago. You know how you were talking about how, like, nobody really could have predicted that the Snuggie.

[D]

Right.

[C]

Was gonna make $20 million.

[E]

Right.

[C]

You know, and I got to tell you guys, I used something over the weekend that if you would have come to me with this idea a year ago and asked me for 1500 $2000 to start this company, I'd have laughed in your face. But it turns out that it's a great, great service.

[A]

And just for the record, I would have laughed in your face, but in a comfortable office.

[C]

Y' all ever hear a Zingo?

[D]

Yeah. Yeah.

[C]

I've only heard about it by reputation. You know what Zingo is?

[E]

No, I don't know.

[D]

We've talked about it on the show before.

[C]

I think we have. I used it this weekend.

[A]

They used it. They came to one of our events and I was bummed because they didn't bring a moped.

[C]

I got. Yeah, I was bummed because they didn't have the moped this weekend either.

[A]

They were doing.

[E]

I wasn't paying attention.

[A]

Yeah. And they supposed to have a moped and they didn't bring a moped.

[C]

Yeah. How this works?

[A]

No.

[C]

All right, so you call up Zingo, you got your drink on a little bit, Right.

[E]

Okay.

[C]

So I was at the Hawks game an hour ago, Then I went over to 10 degrees south and I got my drink on buzzed, not drunk. But if I get behind the wheel of a car and I get pulled over on Roswell Road, I'm legally drunk. And you know what else I found out about yesterday What? Georgia is a no tolerance state. So even if you're not at the legal limit, the.08 or whatever it is, if you have any alcohol in your system at all, you could still get arrested.

[E]

Any.

[C]

So if you have one drink and they pull you over, you can get arrested for that.

[A]

I think they can arrest you even if you don't have anything, if they think you're impaired.

[D]

Oh, wow.

[C]

So anyway, sidebar. So I'm getting my drink on pretty good and I'm not drunk and I could probably make it. But once you start to use the word probably, I know I could have made it. But I was legally probably best.

[A]

Famous last words.

[D]

Are you still driving? Can you drive with the knee?

[C]

No, I was with Stace and we were both pretty. I can drive today. Actually. Today was the first day.

[E]

Well, the problem also is that if you say I can make it home, like we've had friends before that said I can make it home. And then somebody else did something stupid to cause the cop to get the attention of both people. Like is a car pull out in front of them or kind of dinged them a little bit. So then when the cops were talking to him about the accident, they realized that they had been drinking, you know what I'm saying? So it's not even worth it.

[C]

Totally not. Right? So one of the people that were in our group said, why don't I just call Xingo rather than wait for a cab, I'll call Zingo. And I wasn't really sure what it was. But here's what they do is they, they come to wherever you are and they've got a fold up moped. Okay. And in theory, in theory they have a moped. I know they have a whole bunch of them. If they don't have a moped, they have a follow car chase car. Well, they bring this moped to you and they fold it up and they put it in your trunk. They drive you home in your car and then they take the folded scooter moped out of your trunk, get on it and zzzz.

[E]

See, I remember because a lot of people, I think the reason that they make the choice to drive home is because they want to take their car home. They don't want to call a taxi and leave the car at the bar.

[D]

If I'm not mistaken, the Founders actually had a really tragic accident happen because of that. And one of the founders actually, it was a horrible. One of his best friends was killed.

[C]

Oh yeah.

[D]

And so I think as a result of that Started this company. Now this is the life's work.

[A]

There used to be a service in upstate New York called I'm Smart. When I lived in Syracuse, same exact thing. But they didn't have mopeds.

[C]

The moped thing is what makes it. That's what I really wanted to see. But on this night, they just had the chase car.

[D]

So they have two people come?

[C]

Yeah, yeah, they have two people come. In this case, with the chase car, but with the scooter, they don't.

[D]

Right, with the car.

[A]

And in Syracuse, that moped season's nine days long. Cause it's snowing most of the time.

[E]

Is it really ever moped season?

[A]

Right. So it's the car thing. So I called them once and woke up the next morning, like, took them. You know, they came, and it was me and someone else, and we rode home in the backseat of my car, and somebody drove it. Everything's Cool. And wasn't really paying attention to much of anything. And fumbled my way into the house and fell asleep. And my parents were up to the camp, so they didn't. You know, they weren't home. And then when the next day, I looked out in the front yard, and they parked the car diagonally in the front yard.

[D]

Oh.

[A]

So they almost parked it as though I drove.

[C]

Oh, my God.

[A]

Like, I'm actually, like, I looked. I remember looking at it going, hold on. I called the unsmart people. What are they? And then they're jacking with you. Okay, we're gonna get you home safely, and you're not gonna get a ticket, but we're gonna let all of your neighbors know that you were waiting.

[C]

It was $28, and it dropped the couple that we were with off before us in the buckhead area. So 28 bucks as opposed to a DUI?

[E]

Yes.

[D]

Oh, yeah.

[E]

Absolutely.

[C]

And he, as he was driving us around also, he told us, and I got to remind you guys this. During football season, for $175, you can have a. You can bring, like, 10 people up to UGA for a game in your own car. Up to 10 people. And if you make the arrangements beforehand, Zynga will drive you back from Athens in your own car.

[E]

Worth it.

[C]

Okay. Which is nothing if you've got 10 people or eight people, and you split 175 bucks. Because if you've ever been in Athens before trying to get a taxi, it's impossible after a game, if you set it up in advance, they will be up there. They've got, like, nine or ten people. Zingo people up there in Athens. And if you set it up in advance, they'll drive your car home with you and all your drunk friends.

[A]

Do you know what sort of mind numbing medication the driver is on to be in the car with 10 drunk Uga fans? And is that a worse ride if Uga wins or if they lose?

[E]

You just had to win. You know what? This ain't good. People just have to have your UGA gear on. Doesn't matter, as long as you wear the right colors.

[D]

Yes.

[C]

Hey, Dana. Good morning. You're on Q100.

[F]

Hey, I just wanted to tell you guys, there's also something called Safe Ride where you can call and they'll drive a car with another person in it. And then the person gets out and drives you and your friends in their car while the other person follows.

[A]

What's it called?

[C]

Safe Ride.

[F]

Safe Ride.

[C]

Safe Ride. Great. Thank you.

[F]

Yeah.

[C]

You feel a little foolish making the call. To be totally honest with you, for some reason it feels different than calling a cab. I don't know, I just felt like.

[E]

Felt like a failure.

[C]

Yeah, what a loser, man. I'm calling Zingo and they're gonna come pick me up in a scooter, but I'm gonna go for it anyway. But man, I'll take 28 bucks. Every single time.

[A]

Crutching your way up Roswell Road, trying

[C]

to find your house, trying to do one of those sobriety things on the side of the road on crutches is gonna be really, really hard. That's 908 now. Q100.

[E]

So I have discovered the person in Atlanta who has figured out life, who has figured it all out. Now, I don't know the person directly. It was a friend. It's a friend of a friend. So we were at dinner the other night on a double date with a couple we know, and they were talking about this guy that they met, okay? And this is his life. He is a bartender, okay. And he bartends for four months out of the year and he saves all his money from the four months of the year.

[F]

And.

[E]

And he travels for the rest of the year.

[D]

That's great.

[E]

So he is on vacation the majority of the year and on the tips and everything he does for four or five months during the year, during the winter months or summer months, maybe he is able to live his life, you know, freely the rest of the year.

[D]

It's a travel. He's a single guy.

[E]

Single guy can't have family, right? Single guy who bartends and is somewhere in midtown that he Bartends. And we were having this discussion that normally you. You know how you pretty much work to live. You know, your. Your work is your life. And then you get a couple, you know, we get a couple weeks off here, a couple weeks off there. But this guy, he. His life is his vacation. And then by the time he gets to that bar in 10's bar, he's in a great mood. He loves it. Cause he knows that it's just a matter of months before he is back on the road. And he. I mean, have you. Have you talked to this guy?

[F]

I think I know exactly who this guy is. He lives with friends and stays with friends and family while he's here. So he can save up the money. So there's like, no rent, no really any kind of bills. So, yeah, he trav and travels in

[E]

the majority of the year. And we all discuss the fact that he has figured it out.

[D]

Traveler. Like, he must have figured out how to travel very cheaply. Where does he go? Do you know?

[E]

I have no idea. We were talking about. I mean, I think it's different places every time. And he's got, I mean, what, six months at least to travel? So it's probably several places, you know.

[C]

So you're saying this guy who's got, like, the key to his life is traveling?

[E]

I think he's figured out life. So the fact that right now in his life, you know, that he enjoys his job because his job is only there temporarily and he gets to meet a lot of people. And he knows that with, you know, the more he talks about his. He probably spends his bartending time talking about the trips that he has been on. And then he gets to live a free life for the majority of the year.

[C]

I think we would love to talk to the people that think that they not think, because I'm not being condescending, the people that have figured it out for yourself. There's one thing that makes you feel like you figured it out. You're happy every single day. What is that one thing that you could share with everybody else for this guy, he'd call up and he would say, traveling for Jan might be religion.

[D]

Well, that's what I was gonna say. I think a lot of the calls are gonna be people who found a life in Christ and that's totally changed their world.

[C]

And that's for them, that is sort of their meaning of life, the thing that makes them happy. But what nugget could you share with us? We'll get deep here. 404-741-Q100. Am I phrasing that right? You think? Yeah.

[E]

You think you figured it out? How have you figured it out? You figured out life.

[C]

You're happy every single day. And there's a reason for that. And what is the reason?

[D]

You are constantly at peace.

[A]

I would like to make a morph suit bet that now that Melissa has figured this out, she will not be in on Monday and we will not

[F]

see her for eight months.

[D]

She'll be bartending.

[E]

Yep, that's right. Guess what I'll be doing from now on?

[C]

Listen. It's the vert show.

[E]

Ugh.

[A]

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[B]

Wait.

[F]

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[C]

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[A]

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[C]

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[B]

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[C]

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