Podcast Summary: The Bert Show
Episode: Vault: Bert & Melissa Want To Be In The Next Olympics?!
Date: February 20, 2026
Overview
In this energetic and comedic episode, Bert Show cast members Melissa and Jen Hobby, with a burst of patriotism and playful delusion, explore the possibility of representing Team USA in the Olympics. Their conversation, filled with banter, self-deprecating humor, and surprising Olympic aspirations, centers on the idea that with the right sport—and perhaps because of a lack of competition—they just might make it onto the world stage. The primary focus becomes handball, a sport apparently with little to no U.S. presence, and the friends dream up scenarios in which they (and possibly a few co-workers) could form the national team. The discussion highlights their fun approach to challenges, their love for their country, and the idea that chasing dreams is what America’s all about.
Key Discussion Points & Insights
1. Setting the Stage: The Olympic Dream
- Melissa and Jen Hobby banter over their grand Olympic aspirations, despite acknowledging their decidedly not-athletic adult status.
- Jen Hobby (01:31): "You two are out of control with this fantasy that you're gonna go to the Olympics."
- Melissa (01:38): “That’s what America is all about … It’s about fulfilling your dream.”
2. Qualifications and Tongue-in-Cheek Self-Confidence
- Both hosts recall their (distant) competitive glory days, jokingly referencing old medals and little league MVP status.
- Melissa (02:11): "I was VIP on my little league all star Team back in, like, the eighth grade. So I have it in me. I got the genes."
3. The Strategy: Find an Obscure Olympic Sport
- Jen and Melissa decide their best route to the Olympics is to find a sport with little U.S. participation, figuring their odds of making the team would skyrocket.
- Jen Hobby (03:03): "Let me find a US Team that is very small … if it's a small team, that means there's not very many people in the country that do it. So that means that we can make the team."
- After research, they discover there is no U.S. Olympic handball team.
- Comically confused by what handball actually is, they improvise rules and try to recall childhood memories.
4. What Is Handball, Anyway? (Listener Call-In)
- Caller (05:45): Explains Olympic handball as “kind of like soccer with your hands,” with small goals, a lighter ball, and teams of about five or six.
- The group realizes their initial concept of handball (like racquetball with your hands) was off-base, but their interest remains.
- Melissa (06:52): “I mean, our goal isn’t to win a gold medal. Our goal is just to get to the Olympics. So if there’s nobody else in the country playing this… We can recruit three people in the office that we never talk to.”
5. Olympic Reality Check & Renewed Delusions
- They discuss which countries are actually good at handball: France, Brazil, China, Croatia, Poland, etc.—“Iceland has all. Bjork cheers on her country. But you can’t cheer on yours in handball.” (07:44)
- The comedic plan: they’ll form a team, practice for a week, walk in the opening ceremonies, and enjoy the spectacle.
- Melissa (07:49): “See, the beauty of this is there’s nobody playing in our country. So if we form our team today. We are the number one ranked team in the country.”
- Jen Hobby (08:19): “Don’t you worry, when we’re in London and she is calling us to get us on before our big match…” (referencing future Olympic glory)
6. The American Dream, Playfully Skewered
- The conversation ends on a hopeful, cheeky note: loving your country, holding onto outlandish dreams, and poking gentle fun at the spirit of “just showing up.”
- Melissa (08:27): “Your problem is you’re out of dream.”
Notable Quotes & Moments
- Melissa (01:38): “That’s what America is all about … It’s about fulfilling your dream.”
- Melissa (02:11): “…I have it in me. I got the genes.”
- Jen Hobby (03:03): “Let me find a US Team that is very small…”
- Melissa (06:52): “Our goal isn’t to win a gold medal. Our goal is just to get to the Olympics.”
- Caller (05:45): “Handball in the Olympics is kind of like soccer with your hands.”
- Melissa (07:49): “If we form our team today. We are the number one ranked team in the country.”
- Melissa (08:27): “Your problem is you’re out of dream.”
Timestamps for Important Segments
- 01:31 – Jen Hobby expresses disbelief over Melissa and Bert's Olympic dream
- 02:11 – Melissa asserts her childhood athletic cred
- 03:03 – Plan hatched: target obscure Olympic sports
- 03:38 – Realization that there’s no U.S. handball team
- 05:45 – Listener clarifies what Olympic handball actually is
- 06:52 – The “just show up” feat: assembling an office handball team
- 07:44 – Discussion of handball powerhouses and the underdog USA
- 08:27 – The moral: never stop dreaming, however absurd the dream
Tone and Style
The episode is marked by playful banter, self-aware humor, and a mock-serious tone. The co-hosts’ camaraderie and ability to riff on each other (and themselves) makes the dream of Olympic glory seem both ridiculous and, somehow, quintessentially American.
For anyone who enjoys offbeat, optimistic, and sincerely silly conversations about achieving the impossible, this episode is a blast of morning energy and hope—with a knowing wink to reality.