Vault: Bert saw his nemesis in Los Angeles

Summary

The Bert Show Podcast Summary

Episode: Vault: Bert saw his nemesis in Los Angeles
Date: August 10, 2026

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Episode Overview

In this throwback episode, Bert recounts a hilarious and unexpected celebrity run-in during a trip to Los Angeles. The main theme is Bert's run-in with his so-called "nemesis," Constantine Maroulis—best known for his time as a finalist on American Idol. The show’s discussion is a mix of playful ribbing, pop culture banter, and the quirky dynamics among the Bert Show crew. Expect laughs, backstage stories, and a wink at pop celebrity obsessions.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. The Mysterious Celebrity Encounter

• Bert describes spotting a mysterious celebrity:
  • Dressed in "black boots, black belt... black belt buckle" looking like a "rock star." (01:17)
  • The crew tries to identify the celebrity, some suspecting he may have been wearing a hat. (01:24–01:38)
• Paparazzi and the Mystery:
  • Bert notes the heavy paparazzi presence, which makes him wonder who the celebrity was. (01:41)
  • "The paparazzi are snapping pictures of this dude left and right. I'm like, what band is that guy from?" – Bert (01:41)

2. Trying to Guess the Identity

• Co-hosts play a guessing game:
  • "Who was it?" – Co-host (02:03)
  • First guess: Russell Brand (02:04)
    • Bert: "It was not Russell Brand. But from the back, that's exactly who I thought it was." (02:05)
• Reveal:
  • It turns out to be Constantine Maroulis (02:19)
  • Bert calls him his "old nemesis." (02:23)

3. Backstory: Why Is Constantine Bert’s Nemesis?

• History with Constantine:
  • Bert disliked Constantine on American Idol due to his "cheesy kicks and his winks at the camera." (02:39)
  • "He bugged me to the core. I used to talk about him every week..." – Bert (02:39)
• The In-Studio Meeting:
  • Constantine visited the Bert Show while promoting his single in Atlanta. (02:51–02:59)
  • The team reminisces about how they surprised Bert with Constantine’s appearance.
  • "[He] was actually a really nice guy. He was a cool sport about everything, actually. You know, we made up. I was straight up with him, like, dude, you just sort of annoyed me this season." – Bert (03:23)
  • The encounter softened Bert’s stance: "He was a very cool dude." (03:35)

4. The LA Paparazzi Scene

• The spectacle:

  • Bert tweeted a photo, captioning it: "Try and guess who this quote unquote celebrity is that drew this crowd in front of the Ivy yesterday." (03:34)
  • The crew jokes about whether the paparazzi thought Constantine was Russell Brand. (03:50–03:53)

• Fanbase and Reactions:

  • Bert acknowledges Constantine still has "hardcore fans... much like all other American Idol finalists." (04:03)

5. Social Media and Celebrity Banter

• Twitter drama:
  • Bert receives a tweet: "WTF is with the tude, Bert? I thought you made nicey with Constantine. M. Your height is unfortunate." (04:09)
    • He humorously replies: "I think it is unfortunate."
• Constantine himself responds:
  • "15 minutes later, Constantine hits me up." (04:24)
  • Notable quote: "He wrote. He was joking, but he wrote, 'we'll see you tomorrow, big stud.'" – Bert (04:35)
  • The team reacts with amusement to the unexpected but playful interaction. (04:42)

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• "He bugged me to the core. I used to talk about him every week and his cheesy kicks and his winks at the camera. He just bugged me. And it was pretty well documented that season, right?"
  – Bert (02:39)

• "He came in studio and he was actually a really nice guy. He was a cool sport about everything, actually. You know, we made up. I was straight up with him... He was a very cool dude. Right?"
  – Bert (03:23)

• "Try and guess who this 'celebrity' is that drew this crowd in front of the Ivy yesterday."
  – Bert, about his tweet (03:34)

• "Do you think all the paparazzi thought he was Russell Brand?"
  – Co-host, pointing out the lookalike confusion (03:50)

• "15 minutes later, Constantine hits me up... He wrote. He was joking, but he wrote, 'we'll see you tomorrow, big stud.'"
  – Bert (04:35)

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Timeline of Important Segments

| Timestamp | Segment | |---------------|--------------------------------------------------------------------| | 01:17 | Bert describes the mysterious celeb sighting | | 01:41 | Paparazzi and speculation begin | | 02:05 | Russell Brand mistaken identity guess | | 02:19 | Reveal: “My old nemesis, [Constantine] Maroulis” | | 02:39 | Bert shares his American Idol-era annoyance | | 03:23 | On-air reunion with Constantine – making peace | | 03:34 | Bert tweets the paparazzi spectacle | | 03:50 | Crew jokes about mistaken identity (Russell Brand) | | 04:09 | Bert reads a sassy tweet and replies | | 04:24 | Constantine playful response via Twitter | | 04:35 | Quote: “We'll see you tomorrow, big stud.” |

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Tone and Style

Friendly, teasing, and candid, the episode feels like a group of friends swapping celebrity tales over coffee. There’s self-deprecating humor (especially from Bert), good-natured ribbing among the team, and gentle jabs at the absurdities of celebrity culture.

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Takeaway

This classic Bert Show episode blends celebrity run-in fun with behind-the-scenes nostalgia and a reminder that even “nemeses” can be unexpectedly cool off-screen. For listeners, it’s a warmly comedic, pop-culture infused escape—true to the spirit of the Bert Show.

Transcript

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[Bert]

This is the bird show. Black boots, black belt. Like black belt buckle. He looked like a rock star.

[Co-host]

And didn't he have a hat on? A brim hat?

[Bert]

I don't remember. I tweeted it. I'm not sure if he had a hat on or not.

[Co-host 2]

When I saw the top of his head, cuz Frankie saw him too. So when I saw the top of his head, I didn't see a hat.

[Co-host]

You didn't see a hat?

[Bert]

I don't think he had a hat on.

[Co-host]

Maybe the guy in front of him did.

[Bert]

You know, I mean, for our job, you got to be in a pop culture, so you got to know who your celebs are, right? So as I'm walking past this guy, I don't recognize him. But the paparazzi are snapping pictures of this dude left and right. I'm like, I mean, what band is that guy from?

[Co-host]

Who is he? I have a guess. I have a guess.

[Bert]

And then I started to get in the car and I heard him speak and then I knew in a minute who it was.

[Co-host]

Who was it?

[Bert]

Guess.

[Co-host]

Russell Brand.

[Bert]

It was not Russell Brand. But from the back, that's exactly who I thought it was.

[Co-host 2]

That would have been cool.

[Bert]

That's exactly the picture that I had in my head. So I was actually anticipating seeing Russell Brand as I got around him to see his face. Constantine Morales No.

[Co-host]

No way. Oh, you talk about destiny.

[Bert]

My old nemesis, Morales.

[Co-host]

The chances that you and Constantine will be would be right there together at the same time. You can't stand that guy.

[Bert]

Well, the back history on this whole thing was.

[Tyler Redick]

That's funny.

[Bert]

When Constantine was on American Idol, he did, man. He bugged me to the core. I used to talk about him every week and his cheesy kicks and his winks at the camera. He just bugged me. And it was pretty well documented that season. Right?

[Co-host]

Right.

[Bert]

So he was making the rounds one year in Atlanta and he came in studio. You remember that? Yeah, actually a cool guy.

[Co-host]

And Jeff, didn't you surprise Bert with that appearance?

[Co-host 2]

Yeah, Constantine was in town promoting his single and

[Co-host]

he had a concert in Atlanta or something.

[Co-host 2]

Didn't he play Jesus in the Amazing Technicolor Dream Code or something like that?

[Co-host]

I don't know. I don't remember.

[Bert]

That's not Jesus, but. What's that?

[Co-host]

I said that's not Jesus, but.

[Co-host 2]

Well, Joseph. Yeah, the lead role and. Yeah, I think so.

[Bert]

He came in studio and he was actually a really nice guy. He was a cool sport about everything, actually. You know, we made up. I was straight up with him, like, dude, you just sort of annoyed me this season. He was cool about it, and he was a very cool dude. Right?

[Co-host]

He was.

[Bert]

So I saw him yesterday. I was laughing. I couldn't wait to tell you guys. So of course I had to tweet all my friends and I just tweet the picture and it says, try and guess who this quote unquote celebrity is that drew this crowd in front of the Ivy yesterday. Right.

[Co-host]

Do you think all the paparazzi thought he was Russell Brand?

[Bert]

I'm not sure because I was really surprised by the amount of interest that he.

[Co-host]

Paparazzi care about. That's funny. They probably thought he was Russell Brand.

[Bert]

Well, Constantine has hardcore fans still, much like all other American Idol finalists.

[Tyler Redick]

That's true.

[Co-host]

That's true.

[Bert]

I got this Twitter Tweet yesterday, Bert, Q100, WTF is with the tude, Bert? I thought you made nicey with Constantine. M. Your height is unfortunate.

[Co-host]

What? Wow.

[Bert]

She tweeted to me, so I think I wrote something back. Like, I think it is unfortunate. And then before I know it, 15 minutes later, Constantine hits me up.

[Co-host]

No way. What did he say?

[Bert]

He wrote. He was joking, but he wrote,

[Commercial Announcer]

we'll

[Bert]

see you tomorrow, big stud. So I think he's coming here today.

[Co-host]

Oh, my God. That's great. I love that that was him. Of all the people in Hollywood.

[Bert]

I was totally waiting for Russell Brand

[Co-host]

and it was Constantine. That's great.

[Bert]

You won't go away. This is the Bird Show.

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