Vault: Bert thinks he's cursed

Summary

The Bert Show Vault: Bert Thinks He's Cursed

Episode Date: June 5, 2026
Theme: Sports fandom curses and superstitions—Bert believes he is cursed as a fan, dooming his favorite teams, and considers drastic measures to break it.

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Episode Overview

This episode centers around Bert's deep belief that he is cursed as a sports fan—every team he passionately supports never wins a championship. As his beloved Chargers enter the playoffs, Bert debates switching allegiances and actively rooting (at least "on paper") for their opponents, hoping this reverse-psychology will finally bring his team success. The discussion branches into the logic and loyalty of fandom, the pain of long-term sports disappointment, and caller stories about sports curses.

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Key Discussion Points and Insights

Bert’s Curse as a Fan (00:47–02:36)

• Bert shares his 30-year history as a Chargers and Padres fan, never seeing his teams win any championships:
  • "I have never had the honor of rooting for a team that's won any kind of championship, any kind at all." — Bert (00:47)
• Out of desperation, Bert reveals his new plan: root for the team playing against the Chargers in hopes of breaking the curse.
  • Plans to buy New York Jets gear and even root with Jets fans if the Chargers play them, flipping fandom as a “reverse jinx.”
  • "What I'm going to start doing is I am rooting for the team that is playing the Chargers throughout the playoffs... in hopes that the Chargers can make it through to the Super Bowl." — Bert (01:40)

Debate: Loyalty vs. Superstition (02:36–05:04)

• Jen and co-hosts react with disbelief and challenge Bert’s plan, focusing on loyalty and “true fan” identity:
  • "You cannot do that. You cannot physically put on another team jersey." — Jen (02:36)
  • "So disloyal. You've got to feel badly about it." — Co-host 1 (03:40)
• Bert insists desperation demands these kinds of superstitions, comparing his suffering to perennial championship teams' fans.
• He lays out an escalation: if the strategy works, he'll keep rooting against the Chargers all the way to the Super Bowl—even if it means cheering against them in their biggest moment.
  • "If the Chargers are in it, I will wear the colors of the opposing team ... be it Minnesota or..." — Bert (04:18)
  • "...if I switched it up and I wore Chargers and they lost in the super bowl, then I would feel it was my own fault." — Bert (04:58)

Caller Reactions: Shared Pain and Contradictions (05:07–06:25)

• “Cubs Fan” calls in, relating as a long-suffering sports fan, confirming the futility of these rituals:
  • "I just want to say I'm a Cubs fan and my dad's a Cubs fan and my grandfather was a Cubs fan... It's been 101 and counting. So I definitely feel your pain. And I've already tried what you've tried and it sure doesn't work." — Cubs Fan (05:09)
  • "It doesn't work at all, man." — Cubs Fan (05:46)
• Another caller jokes about “reverse curses” and suggests that only genuine opponent fans can affect the outcome.
• The segment closes with a playful idea: finding a Jets fan willing to wear Chargers gear to “cancel out” Bert’s curse.
  • "So the jets fan has to wear the Chargers jersey." — Bert (06:18)

Understanding (or Not) Bert’s Logic (06:25–06:38)

• Co-hosts struggle to understand Bert's approach, expressing both amusement and disbelief:
  • "I hear the words. I'm just not understanding. I couldn't do it." — Co-host 1 (06:31)
  • "Do that gator thing that they all do." — Co-host 2 (06:35)
• Jen remains firm: she could never betray her team, no matter how long the draught.
  • "No, I don't." — Jen (06:30)

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Bert on his sports curse:
  "I am a curse to any team that I root for... I have never rooted for a champion." (00:47)
• On breaking the mold:
  "So I am taking extraordinary measures this year... in hopes that the Chargers can make it through to the Super Bowl." (01:40)
• Jen, on true fandom:
  "You cannot do that. You cannot physically put on another team jersey." (02:36)
• Cubs Fan on futility:
  "I've already tried what you've tried and it sure doesn't work." (05:25)
• Bert, on potential guilt:
  "If I switched it up and I wore Chargers and they lost in the super bowl, then I would feel it was my own fault." (04:58)
• Cubs Fan's generational pain:
  "My dad's a Cubs fan and my grandfather was a Cubs fan. And you can count the years it's been 101 and counting." (05:09)
• The exchange about 'canceling out' curses:
  "So the jets fan has to wear the Chargers jersey... And then I wear the jets jersey." — Bert (06:18)

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Timestamps for Important Segments

• 00:47–01:30: Bert describes his history of rooting for losing teams.
• 01:40–02:36: Bert lays out his plan to root for the opposition as a reverse jinx.
• 02:36–03:40: Debate with Jen & co-hosts about loyalty to one's team.
• 04:18–04:58: Bert details just how far he’ll take his superstition, even at the Super Bowl.
• 05:07–06:25: Cubs fan caller confirms Bert's misery is universal, discusses sports curses.
• 06:18: Discussion of “canceling out” curses with gear swapping.
• 06:25–06:38: Co-hosts express confusion and amusement at Bert’s logic.

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Summary Takeaways

• The episode is a humorous, heartfelt deep-dive into sports fan psychology, especially the desperation and silliness of superstitions when all else fails.
• Bert's plan—cheering for his own team's rivals to “trick the universe”—sparks debate about what it means to be a “real fan.”
• Listeners who’ve felt lifelong sports pain will relate to Bert’s plight and the solidarity (and humor) in failed rituals and cursed fandom.
• The show’s tone remains light, lightly teasing, and self-deprecating—even as it touches on the very real emotional investment fans make in their teams.

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Transcript

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[Main Caller / Charger Fan]

Let me try to explain that I am a curse to any team, that I root for any team. It doesn't matter if it's college, it doesn't matter if it's pro. It doesn't matter if it's baseball. It doesn't matter if it's football. I have never had the honor of rooting for a team that's won any kind of championship, any kind at all. I mean, it can. You can look week to week or you can look over the course of a whole season. I have never rooted for a champion. Now I'm from San Diego, so I have rooted for the Padres, that's our baseball team, and the Chargers for 30 years now. 30, 30 hard years of wins and losses and getting close and never won a Super bowl championship.

[Jen]

Always disappointed.

[Main Caller / Charger Fan]

Always disappointed. I mean, the first thing I do still every morning when I wake up is I go to the San Diego paper and I check Padres scores and Charger scores. That's where my heart is, right?

[Co-host 1]

It's cute.

[Main Caller / Charger Fan]

So I mean, I'm a hardcore Charger fan and here they are in the playoffs now and I've decided to just switch it up a little bit because everything that I've been doing as a fan has not obviously worked. I root for them, I wear their jersey. I've tried everything. So I am taking extraordinary measures this year. What I'm going to start doing is I am rooting for the team that is playing the Chargers throughout the playoffs. So the Chargers are playing the jets this weekend. So today I will walk myself down to distant replays and I will get myself an old school New York jets jersey. If they have those New York jets flags that you put up in your car, I will, I will get those. I will get a New York jets cap. I will get a Banner. I will put it up in my office. I might even on Sunday go to that jets sports bar, which is Mazzy's, and root with the jets fans against the Chargers in hopes that the Chargers can make it through to the Super Bowl.

[Jen]

You cannot do that. You cannot physically put on another team jersey.

[Main Caller / Charger Fan]

Here's why you can't understand where I'm coming from and neither can Jen, because you have. You root for Florida, University of Florida, right? They win championship after championship. Florida State has won a championship in the 90s. You can't pot two. You can't possibly understand what it's like to root for teams that never, ever, ever win.

[Jen]

The Falcons have never won a Super Bowl.

[Radio Announcer]

That's a good point.

[Jen]

In the playoffs for a long time. I mean, there were playoffs last year and it took a while for them to get to the playoffs and they're not in it this year. But I will never physically go put on another jersey that the Falcons are playing and go root for them.

[Main Caller / Charger Fan]

You haven't been alive long enough yet to. To say that you have gone through the disappointments of The Falcons losing 30 years I've been rooting for the Chargers and they've never won a championship. Something I'm doing is wrong.

[Jen]

Jen, would you do this if it was Florida State playing another team? Would you go put on the. Your other team's jersey and go root for that team no matter how bad? Florida State.

[Main Caller / Charger Fan]

You can't ask Jen. She has rooted for champions before. But still you'd have to ask.

[Co-host 1]

So disloyal. You've got to feel badly about it.

[Main Caller / Charger Fan]

But it's not disloyal. But I'm only doing what I can for my. See what I'm saying? I can't go down there and I

[Co-host 1]

can't catch a pass. I'm hearing the words, but I'm not understanding.

[Jen]

Yeah, I can't comprehend.

[Co-host 2]

And here's what I don't. What makes me nervous is like, you talk about going to distant replays and getting a throwback or something.

[Main Caller / Charger Fan]

Yeah, man, I'm going all out on this, dude.

[Co-host 2]

Go to champs and get a T shirt.

[Main Caller / Charger Fan]

Yeah, I might do that all the time.

[Jen]

Don't even get a T shirt. Just root for them in your head.

[Co-host 2]

He's gonna wear it for four days like it's gonna be. You're gonna spend $200 on something you're never gonna put on again.

[Main Caller / Charger Fan]

Who knows?

[Co-host 2]

Unless you find out how great. Unless you go to Mazzy's and those people are really, really cool and nice.

[Main Caller / Charger Fan]

And if they win this weekend, if. If those guys, those dudes from San Diego win this weekend, then what I would do next weekend is I would put on all the apparel from the team that they have to play the next week. And if they win again, I am going to the Super Bowl. If the Chargers are in it or not, I'm booking the hotel. It's a guy's weekend down there. Four days. So if the Chargers are in it, I will wear the colors of the opposing team, be it Minnesota or.

[Jen]

You cannot do that.

[Main Caller / Charger Fan]

Four days. I'm down there.

[Co-host 1]

That's not co.

[Main Caller / Charger Fan]

The next two days. You got to continue the trend.

[Jen]

Not at the super bowl, because that's your one chance to finally root for your team in a championship game.

[Co-host 1]

Exactly. You can gotten them there if you get them there.

[Main Caller / Charger Fan]

Because if I switched it up and I wore Chargers and they lost in the super bowl, then I would feel it was my own fault.

[Jen]

That's awful. Oh, it makes me numb just thinking,

[Main Caller / Charger Fan]

Armin, you know what I'm talking about here?

[Cubs Fan Caller]

Yeah, sure do, man. I just want to say I'm a Cubs fan and my dad's a Cubs fan and my grandfather was a Cubs fan. And you can count the years it's been 101 and counting. So I definitely feel your pain. And I've already tried what you've tried and it sure doesn't work.

[Co-host 1]

Damn.

[Main Caller / Charger Fan]

Didn't work. Now Cubs fans are like the quintessential example of this. They've gone. I mean, how many years we working on now without a World Series?

[Cubs Fan Caller]

The Last time was 1908, so about 100 and 102 years.

[Main Caller / Charger Fan]

And as a fan, you are just willing to try everything. You will sell your soul for a championship. Right? So this guy tried it. It didn't work.

[Cubs Fan Caller]

Absolutely. It doesn't work at all, man.

[Co-host 1]

So stick with your team colors.

[Main Caller / Charger Fan]

I won't do it. I've got to try something on my own. Good morning, Kerry. You're on Q100.

[Cubs Fan Caller]

Hey. I just wanted to tell you it's never going to work because you're not really rooting for the other team.

[Main Caller / Charger Fan]

Yes, I am. I love the Jets. J E T S. Jets. Jets. Jets.

[Cubs Fan Caller]

Okay, well, the other thing I was going to tell you is I'm a huge curse, too. So if it'll help, I'll actually watch the game. And the jets will lose.

[Main Caller / Charger Fan]

That's what you need to do on your bandwagon.

[Co-host 2]

You need to find a Jets fan who has some weird superstition and then they have to do the opposite.

[Main Caller / Charger Fan]

So the jets fan has to wear the Chargers jersey.

[Co-host 2]

Cancel it out.

[Main Caller / Charger Fan]

And then I wear the jets jersey.

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[Jen]

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[Main Caller / Charger Fan]

So do people. Do you at least understand the concept? Because in email, people don't get it.

[Jen]

No, I don't.

[Co-host 1]

I hear the words. I'm just not understanding. I couldn't do it.

[Co-host 2]

Do that gator thing that they all do.

[Co-host 1]

Oh, hell no.

[Jen]

I will.

[Main Caller / Charger Fan]

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