The Bert Show – Vault: Bert Thinks Men Can Make Better Sound FX Than Women

Date: October 27, 2025
Host: Pionaire Podcasting
Main Cast: Bert, Jeff, Tracy (intern)
Theme: Exploring whether men are inherently better at making mouth-generated sound effects than women

Episode Overview

This lively segment from The Bert Show centers on a cheeky—and potentially controversial—debate: Are men just naturally better at performing sound effects with their mouths than women? What starts as a playful challenge between the cast quickly turns into a comedic competition, with Bert making his case and inviting his co-hosts to back up (or disprove) his bold claim live on air.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Bert’s Bold Assertion (00:02)

• Bert lays out the playful premise: while he’s all for gender equality, men simply outperform women in certain areas, specifically in making sound effects with their mouths.
  • Quote:
    “I know. Women want to believe they can do things just as well as guys in every aspect of life. The truth is, it’s not the case. I am all for women’s rights, but there are some things that guys can just frankly do better than women.” (Bert, 00:02)

2. The Machine Gun Showdown (00:18–00:45)

• Tracy (the intern) is first to try a machine gun sound effect—but her attempt is met with mild laughter.
• Jeff steps up, and his sound effect impresses the group.
  • Quote:
    “No, that sounds like a deck of declaration. Shuffling cards. One more time, Tracy. … You're way better than she is. Do it again, Jeff. How do you do that? What a gift.” (Bert, 00:25–00:45)

3. Sound FX Smackdown Continues: Pistol & Cannon (00:56–01:18)

• Bert enthusiastically asks for different sound effects to be performed—pistol, then cannon—offering pointers (“It’s in the throat”).
• Both Tracy and Jeff try, with Jeff again being singled out for his realistic execution.

4. Technique Tips and Friendly Roasting (01:07–01:46)

• The team discusses technique, such as using the throat or the diaphragm.
• Bert notes the physical side effects:
  • Quote:
    “See how he sees my eye? Always makes one of my eyes go bloodshot when I do.” (Bert, 01:46)

5. Fire Truck and Car Sounds Cap It Off (01:24–01:52)

• Tracy attempts a fire truck and car peeling out sound effect; the results are met with encouragement and playful ribbing.
• Jeff continues to demonstrate his knack with vocal effects, keeping the mood light and competitive.

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On gender and sound effects:
  “Guys can do that. Women can. Exactly. A liar. Yeah, that's some things women can't do. Like I can do.”
  (Bert, 00:49–00:56)
• Technique advice:
  “Use your diaphragm like this.”
  (Bert, 01:18)
• Physical comedy:
  “Always makes one of my eyes go bloodshot when I do.”
  (Bert, 01:46)

Important Segment Timestamps

• 00:02: Bert introduces the playful premise
• 00:18–00:45: Machine gun sound effect battle (Tracy vs. Jeff)
• 00:56–01:13: Pistol and cannon FX, hosting pointers
• 01:18–01:46: Technique discussion, fire truck FX, “bloodshot eye” anecdote
• 01:52: Car “peeling out” impressions conclude the segment

Tone & Atmosphere

The conversation is rooted in the show's signature style—playful, teasing, and propelled by friendly competition. The hosts are quick to roast each other but equally quick with support or “you tried!” encouragement. The tone is semi-sarcastic, very lighthearted, and in line with the spirit of morning radio that doesn’t take itself too seriously.

Summary

This episode is a fast-paced, humorous back-and-forth about who rules the world of homemade sound effects. While Bert’s stance is deliberately provocative, the resulting “sound FX Olympics” is all in good fun, and cohosts deliver plenty of laughs—whether their sound effects stick the landing or not. It’s classic Bert Show: silly camaraderie, a dash of competition, and jokes flying as fast as the fake machine gun noises.