Vault: Bert tries to change a tire Part 2

Summary

The Bert Show

Episode: Vault: Bert tries to change a tire Part 2
Date: July 31, 2026

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Episode Overview

In this entertaining segment, The Bert Show team sets out to witness host Bert attempting to change a car tire without prior hands-on experience. While played for laughs, the bit pokes fun at Bert’s self-professed mechanical ineptitude and everyone’s collective anxieties around basic car maintenance. The crew watches (remotely) as Bert fumbles through the process, offering real-time commentary, and sending their videographer, Rhett, to monitor the situation for safety and comedic effect.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

Concern for Bert’s Safety (00:30–00:46)

• Hosts Jeff and the co-host quickly establish the playful tension: Bert is not only inexperienced but already prone to accidents, so the team makes sure he's monitored.
  • Jeff: "I think Josh is legitimately worried about Bert... he's an injured fellow already."
  • Co-host: "He'll be all right as long as he's got his feet clear of the car."

Setting Up the Challenge (00:46–01:18)

• Jeff clarifies the setup: Their videographer Rhett is sent not to record but to oversee Bert for safety with no liability.
• The hosts debate whether to hint at the one big, common mistake many beginners make when changing a tire but decide to keep quiet for now.
  • Jeff: "Let's wait. Let's wait till. See if he makes that mistake."

Play-by-Play from the Parking Lot (01:19–02:05)

• Videographer Rhett checks in live from the scene:
  • Bert begins uncertainly, not knowing where even the car manual is.
  • Quickly finds the manual and starts rooting through the trunk, marveling at the "cool stuff."
  • Hits his first major hurdle: cannot locate the spare tire.
  • Rhett: "His first words were, I don't even know where the manual of this thing is... he may have encountered a problem of not being able to find his tire."
  • Jeff: "[Bert] picked up all the tools in the back and said, I don't even have a spare tire."
• This leads to general amusement at Bert's expense.
  • Co-host: "Okay."
  • Jeff: "This will be a short break."
  • Rhett: "Yeah."
  • Jeff: "This will be very, very fun."

The Blind Leading the Blind — No Hints Allowed! (02:05–02:33)

• The team debates what Bert should do, suggesting he could just remove and replace the same tire if no spare is found.
• Jeff reminds Rhett not to give Bert hints, particularly about checking under trunk panels for the spare.
  • Jeff: "Don't give him any hints to that direction. We'll check in with you in a few minutes."
  • Co-host: "It sounds like that's what he's missing."

Mocking Confidence and Predictions (02:33–02:46)

• The hosts rib Bert over his earlier confidence:
  • Co-host: "How hard can it be?"
  • Jeff: "He said yesterday that... it's so simple. He'll be up by the end of this song. No problem. Bert will be back after this. Little grease on his hands, but nice. And tire change just in a minute. The Bert Show."

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Notable Quotes and Memorable Moments

• "I don't even know where the manual of this thing is." — Bert (via Rhett), 01:34
  Captures Bert’s initial confusion and sets the tone for the challenge.

• "He picked up all the tools in the back and said, I don't even have a spare tire." — Rhett, 01:53
  Highlights Bert’s real-time struggle and spotlights his inexperience.

• "This will be very, very fun." — Host Jeff, 02:06
  Marks the moment the hosts realize this bit may be more comedy than educational.

• "Don't give him any hints..." — Jeff, 02:33
  Shows the team’s commitment to seeing just how lost Bert will get unaided.

• "It's so simple. He'll be up by the end of this song. No problem." — Jeff, 02:40
  Ironic foreshadowing of Bert's impending difficulties, played for laughs.

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Important Timestamps

• 00:30 — Hosts discuss safety concerns and Bert’s injury-prone nature.
• 01:19 — Rhett reports from the parking lot; Bert can’t find the car manual.
• 01:34 — Bert searches the trunk and marvels at all the "cool stuff."
• 01:53 — The missing spare tire; Bert's confusion peaks.
• 02:07 — Hosts discuss possible next steps and their excitement at Bert’s struggles.
• 02:33 — Instructions to Rhett: No hints allowed.
• 02:40 — Cohosts joke about Bert’s prior confidence and a speedy tire-change.

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Tone and Highlights

• The episode is light-hearted, poking fun at everyday adult challenges.
• The hosts maintain an authentic, relatable banter—giving listeners an inside look at shared insecurities around basic car maintenance.
• Listeners are left anticipating whether Bert will succeed, fail, or spin an everyday task into radio gold.

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Transcript

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[Host Jeff]

The Birch Show. I think Josh is legitimately worried about Bert.

[Co-host]

Yeah.

[Host Jeff]

Because he just sent another message and said, is Bert down there alone? And we said, he's an injured fellow already.

[Co-host]

He'll be all right as long as he's got his feet clear of the car.

[Host Jeff]

Yeah, Rhett's our videographer here at the station. He shoots Jen's, you know, entertainment buzz feature every week. And whenever we have an artist in, he's. He's one of the guys taping it. And so we sent him down there with no cameras for insurance purposes, but to stand by with Burt and then call us and let us know. Do you think it's safe to say what we're looking for, or should we wait until we're completely clear?

[Co-host]

Let's see if he does it, because there's one. Yeah, let's wait. Let's wait till. See if he makes that mistake.

[Host Jeff]

Yeah, there's one big mistake that I. That I think everybody makes when they're

[Co-host]

first changing a tire.

[Host Jeff]

I even admit to doing it, but I always stop myself and then have to go back a couple steps and do it. So we're going to check in with Bert, who admittedly can't change a tire. Hey. Hey, Brad. It's Jeff.

[Videographer Rhett]

Hey, Jeff.

[Host Jeff]

Hey. How's that. How's Bert doing down in the parking lot?

[Videographer Rhett]

Pretty awesome. I mean, his first words were, I don't even know where the manual of this thing is. But he found it pretty quickly, started rustling through the trunk, and said, look at all this cool stuff. But he may have encountered a problem of not being able to find his tire.

[Co-host]

Okay.

[Host Jeff]

He can't locate the spare tire.

[Videographer Rhett]

He picked up all the tools in the back and said, I don't even have a spare tire.

[Host Jeff]

All right, well, this will be a short break.

[Videographer Rhett]

Yeah.

[Host Jeff]

This will be very, very fun.

[Sleep Number Advertiser]

Okay.

[Host Jeff]

Well, I guess technically, what he can do is remove the one tire and put it back on. Put the same tire back on. But I think. Why not? I think you have to. After he does that. Right. I think you'll have to check the car and make sure the tire isn't located underneath the pant. And don't give him any hints or anything. You know, sometimes there's, like, a weird panel or, like, a bottom to the trunk and that. Bet the tires.

[Co-host]

It sounds like that that's what he's.

[Host Jeff]

Yeah.

[Co-host]

Missing.

[Host Jeff]

All right. Don't give him any hints to that direction. We'll check in with you in a few minutes. Okay.

[Co-host]

How hard can it be? Okay. He said yesterday that.

[Host Jeff]

How hard can it be downstairs changing a tire. It's so simple. He'll be up by the end of this song. No problem. Bert will be back after this. Little grease on his hands, but nice. And tire change just in a minute. The bird show.