Vault: Bert tries to change a tire Part 4

Summary

The Bert Show – "Vault: Bert Tries to Change a Tire, Part 4" (July 31, 2026)

Episode Overview

This episode of The Bert Show centers on Bert's ongoing saga attempting to change a tire on his sports car, only to discover the mysteries of run flat tires and the absence of a traditional spare. The cast—full of laughs and relentless ribbing—dives into confusion about modern tire technology, pokes fun at Bert’s car, and debates basic car maintenance knowledge. Featuring Bert, Dustin (from Team Nissan), and various co-hosts, the segment blends genuine puzzlement with trademark humor and camaraderie.

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Key Discussion Points and Insights

1. The Missing Spare Tire Dilemma (00:34–1:13)

• Bert shares his challenge: He was dared to change his car tire, but upon heading down to his car, he discovers there's no spare tire or jack.
• Manual reading confusion: Bert reads the car manual, which notes some models lack a spare, leaving the crew puzzled.

"If the tire was there, I would not have been able to change it. But this run flat tire thing, like we all said..." — Dustin (00:41)

2. Introduction to Run Flat Tires (1:13–1:52)

• Explaining run flat tires: A brief, semi-confident explanation—run flat tires let you keep driving after a puncture until you can find service, supposedly protecting your rims.
• Acknowledgement of confusion: Admits no one is quite sure how these run flats work or whether Bert’s car even has them.

"Which is basically when, if your tire goes flat, it keeps it inflated until you can get to a service center..." — Radio Host 1 (01:30)

3. Sports Car Stereotypes and Jokes (1:52–2:13)

• Teasing Bert’s car choice: The crew teases Bert's famously flashy lime green 370Z, complete with imaginary features—fuzzy dashboards, flames, and neon lights.
• Uncertainty about tire expectations: Surprise is shared that sports cars might not have a spare, counter to what most would expect.

"It's lime green with the ground effects and the fuzzy dashboard spinner..." — Radio Host 2 (01:50)

4. Verifying What's Actually in the Car (2:13–3:01)

• Dustin agrees with the confusion: “If I bought a sports car, I would probably, right off the bat, think that my car had a spare. That’s what I would think automatically.”
• Hosts want to check Bert’s car: There’s a playful scramble over who gets to check in person for any hidden tire or jack.
• Dustin’s nervousness: He pleads for mercy if it turns out he just missed the spare.

"If that tire's in there somewhere and I just couldn't find it, then...you have permission to give me as much crap as you want for as long as." — Dustin (02:22)

5. Evidence and Friendly Torment (3:01–end)

• Visual proof: Dustin took photos to defend his credibility.
• Jack in the back jokes: Rhyming and visual gags about the missing jack.
• Predicted ridicule: Bert wonders if even his wife will give him more grief than his co-hosts if the tire’s actually there.

"Looking like a pool with no jack in the back. That is so funny that you took a picture for proof for us." — Radio Host 3 (03:15)

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Dustin’s candid confession:

  "If the tire was there, I would not have been able to change it." (00:41)

• Run-flat clarity...almost:

  "Which is basically when, if your tire goes flat, it keeps it inflated until you can get to a service center..." — Radio Host 1 (01:30)

• On sports car assumptions:

  "If I bought a sports car, I would probably, right off the bat, think that my car had a spare." — Radio Host 1 (02:13)

• On giving proof:

  "Yes. Cause I knew. Been giving me relentless crap. Which you should." — Dustin (03:22)

• On lifelong teasing:

  "I'm gonna get crap for the rest of my life if it's there." — Dustin (03:41)

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• 00:34–1:13 – Bert's initial story & confusion about missing spare tire
• 1:13–1:52 – Explanation and confusion over run flat tires
• 1:52–2:13 – Jokes about Bert's flashy sports car
• 2:13–3:01 – Discussion about what should have been in the car, looking up VIN
• 3:01–end – Visual evidence, more jokes, predictions of ridicule

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Tone and Style

The episode is irreverent, self-deprecating, and laced with camaraderie—full of quick wit, inside jokes, and honest admissions of mechanical ignorance. The cast thrives on playful embarrassment, making the tire-changing saga a celebration of “real life” failures and foibles.

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Summary

This segment demonstrates The Bert Show’s blend of grounded humor and relatable mishaps. If you’ve ever doubted your own car knowledge, Bert and his crew make it clear: you’re not alone! Whether or not there’s a spare tire, there’s always room for laughter.

Transcript

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[Radio Host 1]

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[Dustin]

The bird show.

[Radio Host 2]

You're really bothered by this, aren't you?

[Dustin]

Well, yes.

[Radio Host 2]

You want to think about that for a second or just gonna answer?

[Dustin]

I will just say this and with 100% certainty that if the tire was there, I would not have been able to change it. But this run flat tire thing, like we all said.

[Radio Host 2]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Dustin]

But nobody really knows what it is. Hey, hey, Dustin, it's Burt. We're on the radio, man.

[Radio Host 1]

Oh, we're on the radio. How you doing?

[Radio Host 3]

Hey. Hi.

[Dustin]

This is Dustin from Team Nissan. So these guys challenged me because I have never changed a tire before in my life.

[Radio Host 1]

Okay?

[Dustin]

So these guys challenged me to change my tire this morning. So I went downstairs and there's no spare.

[Radio Host 1]

There's no spare.

[Dustin]

There's no spare. There's no jack in the back. There's nothing. So I read the manual and it said that some of the models don't come with a spare.

[Radio Host 1]

Okay.

[Dustin]

And then others called up and said some sports cars now have a run flat tire. Right, which is what?

[Radio Host 1]

Which is basically when, if your tire goes flat, it keeps it inflated until you can get to a service center

[Radio Host 3]

so it doesn't hurt the rims.

[Radio Host 2]

So does Bert have that or.

[Radio Host 1]

I gotta check which one he bought. I gotta find out.

[Radio Host 2]

He got the lime green, the 370Z.

[Radio Host 1]

Lime green one.

[Radio Host 2]

Yeah, it's lime green with the ground effects and the fuzzy dashboard spinner ye

[Radio Host 3]

stripes, the flames, the lights underneath, you know, and it's low, low riding, man.

[Dustin]

The neon underneath it, the nas. So if you. So if you get a sports car, then it shouldn't be concluded that you have a spare in the back. So you shouldn't just think that you have one.

[Radio Host 1]

You, you know, if I bought a sports car, I would probably, right off the bat think that my car had a spare. Yeah, that's what I would think automatically.

[Radio Host 3]

I have never heard of a car.

[Dustin]

Okay?

[Radio Host 1]

That's what, that's what I would think. A lot of the sports Cars do come with run flats, though, I think. Let me check on yours.

[Dustin]

Okay. If it's not and it's attached somewhere on my car, do not.

[Radio Host 1]

It's probably in the. It's probably in the trunk. And you. You. You know, who knows?

[Radio Host 2]

Can I please go look?

[Dustin]

If that's the case, do not call back. You never, ever, ever. You can't remember me calling. Don't call.

[Radio Host 1]

Right, Right. Exactly.

[Dustin]

Okay.

[Radio Host 2]

Can I please go look?

[Dustin]

Yeah, go ahead. All right, Dustin. Thanks, man.

[Radio Host 1]

I'm gonna go pull your. Your VIN number right now and see. See exactly which one you got and I'll give you a call back.

[Dustin]

Because if that tire's in there somewhere and I just couldn't find it, then I'm.

[Radio Host 3]

You were showing a picture a second ago. I wanted to see this. You took a picture? So it's like the wheel well that's there, but it. There's no tire in it.

[Dustin]

Right. And the part. The place for the jack is actually there also. But there's no jack.

[Radio Host 2]

There's no jack in the back. Jack in the back.

[Radio Host 3]

Looking like a pool with no jack in the back. That is so funny that you took a picture for proof for us.

[Dustin]

Yes. Cause I knew. Been giving me relentless crap. Which you should. And if that tire is somewhere on the bottom of the car and I couldn't find it, you have permission to give me as much crap as you want for as long as.

[Radio Host 2]

Can I have your keys? I want to go right now.

[Dustin]

Yes.

[Radio Host 3]

Turn sideways.

[Commercial Announcer]

Sit down.

[Radio Host 3]

Do you think that it would be your wife Stacy, that would give you the most crap about this?

[Dustin]

Probably so.

[Radio Host 3]

Probably more than us, right? Yeah.

[Dustin]

I'm gonna get crap for the rest of my life if it's there. Don't sweat it. Hey, the bird show.