Vault: Bert's 43rd Birthday Weekend

Summary

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The Bert Show: Vault - Bert's 43rd Birthday Weekend

Release Date: July 16, 2026
Main Theme:
A candid, laugh-filled discussion about Bert’s low-key 43rd birthday weekend, getting older, and his evolving relationship with his father, with insights on family, therapy, and embracing age.

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1. Overview

This episode of The Bert Show centers on Bert celebrating his 43rd birthday. The cast dives into Bert’s personal reflections on aging, his physical struggles, and—most notably—a heartfelt update on reconnecting with his estranged father. The segment blends typical show humor with authentic vulnerability, offering listeners both entertainment and genuine life perspective.

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2. Key Discussion Points & Insights

Bert’s Birthday Weekend Plans

• (01:04) Bert shares he celebrated his birthday over the weekend, starting with a family movie night seeing "How to Train Your Dragon"—in 3D this time, emphasizing his excitement for the film.
• (01:32) On Saturday night, Bert's wife Stacy surprised him with an overnight stay at a mansion and a couple’s massage, which leads to a playful exchange about what a “couple’s massage” entails.

Humor and Banter

• (01:24) The cast jokes about how long it will take for the movie "How to Train Your Dragon" to inspire a risqué parody.
• (01:41) Quick-witted remarks about the massage setup, with the usual playful teasing among hosts.

Attitude Towards Aging

• (01:58) Bert admits to feeling particularly old this year, partially because of a lingering knee injury and ensuing physical discomfort:

  “I’m 43 tomorrow, and I feel like I’m 60-something... I haven’t been able to work out in weeks... I just feel old.” – Bert (02:44)

• (02:08) Bert shares wisdom from a recent conversation with his father, highlighting the notion that one’s mind never feels as old as the body does:

  “It doesn’t matter how old you get. Your mind never catches up to your body. Your mind always thinks you’re younger than you are.” – Bert quoting his father (02:44)

Reconnection with His Dad

• (02:20) Bert reveals he’s been talking to his dad weekly after years of limited contact, surprising his co-hosts who weren’t aware of this development.

• (03:40) He describes his father’s health issues (emphysema, oxygen tank) and how this brought perspective on aging and relationships.

• (05:11) Bert goes into emotional detail about a call where he confronted his father about past hurts, and his father’s sincere wish to make amends:

  “I know that you’re calling a lot here, but I just got this wall up, man. I mean, it’s been a lot of years of you doing some pretty bad things and hurting me and hurting my family...He said, ‘I’ve been apologizing to you for 25 years...What else do I gotta do?’” – Bert (05:43–06:18)

• (07:19) He admits there’s still distance, but therapy has helped him lower his guard and find some enjoyment in these conversations:

  “There’s always a part of me that will always have my arm up, keeping him at arm’s length, but I’m just doing the best I can in this relationship.” – Bert (07:19)

• (07:40) For the first time in decades, Bert laughed with his dad during a phone call, hinting at genuine healing.

• (08:11) Bert expresses determination not to repeat old patterns with his own sons:

  “No, I’m going the other way with it. Totally the other way with it.” – Bert (08:15)

Listener Call-Ins & Reflections

• (04:59, 08:25, 08:35) Listeners (Stacy, Christine, Joy) phone in to offer birthday wishes, express surprise at his family revelations, and provide anecdotes about when Bert previously mentioned his dad.
• (05:09) Bert reflects on his journey, expressing surprise and a bit of embarrassment about needing therapy to navigate “kid issues” at age 43.

The Role of Therapy

• (07:30–07:35) Bert credits therapy for helping him reconnect:

  “Yeah, [therapy] helped. I think so in that area for sure.” – Bert (07:33)

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3. Notable Quotes & Moments

• “This is really the first year that I'm celebrating a birthday where I feel my age... my back is hurting, and my ass is hurting, and I just feel old this week.”
  — Bert (02:44)

• “It doesn’t matter how old you get. Your mind never catches up to your body... even at 73, he gets up in the morning and thinks he’s healthy, but then he remembers the oxygen tank.”
  — Bert quoting his dad (02:44)

• “I still feel a wall up whenever we talk, but it’s starting to come down now... For the first time in 20-something years, I laughed the whole time.”
  — Bert on his renewed relationship with his father (06:17–07:12)

• “I’m going the other way with it. Totally the other way with it.”
  — Bert promising to break generational patterns with his kids (08:15)

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4. Important Timestamps

• 01:04 — Bert's family movie night for his birthday
• 01:32 — Mansion stay and couple’s massage
• 01:58–02:44 — Bert opens up about feeling his age and his physical struggles
• 02:20–03:40 — Bert discusses reconnecting with his dad and lessons learned from him
• 05:11–06:18 — Emotional recounting of confronting his father and efforts at reconciliation
• 07:19–07:35 — Bert and therapy: progress and challenges in family healing
• 08:11–08:15 — Bert commits to parent differently than his father

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5. Tone & Style

• Authentic and lightly self-deprecating humor, as is typical for The Bert Show.
• Supportive banter among the hosts, with a balance of jokes and thoughtful discussion.
• Candid emotional honesty, especially when Bert talks about family and personal growth.

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6. Summary & Takeaway

Bert’s 43rd birthday prompts not just celebration but deep reflection—on aches, age, and forgiveness. The episode’s laughs and quick-witted asides are matched by a rare glimpse into Bert’s vulnerable side as he navigates a renewed relationship with his father, spurred on by therapy and candid conversation. The result is a relatable, engaging episode about growing older, the imperfect work of family healing, and the sometimes-surprising gifts of letting go.

Transcript

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[Co-Host 1]

What'd you do this weekend, Bert?

[Bert]

It's sort of like my birthday is tomorrow, so we did family birthday on Friday night. And for my birthday, we went to go see how to train a dragon.

[Co-Host 1]

Nice.

[Bert]

I really wanted to see that movie.

[Co-Host 1]

That was the one that you and I.

[Co-Host 2]

Didn't you already see it?

[Bert]

Yes, this is the second time, but this is 3D. Oh, different.

[Co-Host 3]

Yeah.

[Bert]

So we did that together as a family on Friday night for my birthday.

[Ad Host]

How to train your dragon.

[Co-Host 1]

How long until they make a porn out of that? How to train his.

[Bert]

And on Saturday night, Stacy had a surprise for me. We went over to the mansion, spent the night there and got a couple's massage on Saturday night, which was cool.

[Co-Host 1]

Who was the other person?

[Bert]

Well, it's a couple's massage. So a couple massages you and then you massage another couple.

[Co-Host 2]

What's one of those?

[Bert]

You know what I'm saying? She thinks a little differently at the massage.

[Co-Host 3]

Happy birthday party outside the door. Yeah.

[Bert]

So that was really the weekend right there. I'm going low key this year. First, Stacy has a big birthday coming up in May, and I'm just not feeling celebrating a huge birthday this year.

[Co-Host 2]

Are you like, feeling resistant to your age or is it just like. Because it's not a big number, you don't really care.

[Bert]

You know, I had a talk with my dad about this the other day, and he told me.

[Co-Host 3]

I'm sorry, hold on.

[Bert]

Yeah, my dad and I have been talking a lot lately.

[Co-Host 3]

That's a sentence you have really never said.

[Bert]

I told you guys that we reconnected a couple of months ago. I did tell you that.

[Co-Host 1]

Nope, I didn't.

[Co-Host 3]

Kind of forgot about that one. You left it out.

[Co-Host 2]

I didn't think you were speaking to either parent right now.

[Bert]

Yeah, mom is in solitary confinement. Dad and I are working on it now, though. Yeah. So we're probably talking to each other once a week.

[Co-Host 3]

Wow. Really?

[Bert]

He's got plans to come out over the summer and hang with the family and everything. So we're working on that.

[Co-Host 3]

Okay.

[Bert]

So this weekend, we were talking about age and stuff, and he's 73, and he's in bad shape. He's got emphysema. He's got an oxygen tank tied to his back right now. And we were laughing. He's going on a cruise. And we were laughing about him being in his bathing suit with an oxygen tank on his back, which is a real hot look. And he said to me that, you know, it doesn't matter how old you get. Your mind never catches up to your body. Your mind always thinks you're younger than you are, and that never, ever, ever goes away. So even at 73, he gets up in the morning and he thinks that he's healthy and he can run and he can do all these things, but then he remembers he's got to tote around an oxygen mask, you know? And this is really the first year that I'm celebrating a birthday where I feel my age, I think, because of the knee. And I'm. I'm just. I feel old. Like, my body feels banged. I feel I'm 43 tomorrow, and I feel like I'm 60, something. Like, I haven't been able to work out in weeks. The knee sort of has take. It's just taken everything off balance on your body when you're on crutches for four weeks. So my back is hurting and my ass is hurting, and I just feel old this week. So I haven't really felt, like, the need to go out and celebrate. I just feel old. I'm ready for Kevorkin to come in and just let me.

[Co-Host 1]

Oh, dude, let me go.

[Bert]

Let me go.

[Co-Host 2]

Because you're gonna be 43 tomorrow, but I think that you're typically a young 43.

[Bert]

Well, I will kind of talking about

[Co-Host 2]

it over the weekend about different people. You can have. You can know people who are, like, 50 and they're a young 50, or you can know people who are 50 and they've got, like, one foot in the grave, and they just, like, oh, they can't do anything anymore. And, like, they almost use this as

[Co-Host 3]

an excuse, but they were that way at 25. They might have been, yeah. Personality.

[Co-Host 2]

Yeah.

[Co-Host 1]

I don't look at Bert as a young 47 or. How old are you?

[Bert]

25.

[Co-Host 1]

Right. I look at you as an old 25.

[Bert]

I think I'm just feeling it this year. You know, I think, like, mentally I was up there ready to go play soccer, so I started playing with younger people, and I got. I got jacked up. So I just feel like I feel the number. Normally, I don't feel the number, and this year I just feel that number. So, yeah, that's where I'm at right now. Hey, Stacy. Good morning. You are on Q100. Hi.

[Caller]

Hey.

[Bert]

Hey.

[Caller]

I just wanted to say that I love you guys. Of course. And you completely did not tell us that you've been talking to your dad.

[Ad Host 3]

I didn't.

[Bert]

I never mentioned it to you?

[Co-Host 3]

No.

[Bert]

Really?

[Co-Host 3]

That's the first time. Forgot that one.

[Bert]

Yeah. When did it all start? There's a couple of months ago. Well, let's get into this then, for a second. A couple of months ago. Must have been about five months ago. And I've been seeing a therapist for all this, you know, still trying to deal with this crap. There's another reason I'm lame. I can't believe I'm dealing with some of these kid issues at 43 years old. It just seems ridiculous to me. So, you know, some people never deal with them. That's what my therapist said. So, yeah, I called my dad.

[Co-Host 2]

Profession.

[Co-Host 1]

Yeah. But Jen didn't charge you 200 bucks an hour to tell you that.

[Bert]

Or maybe she did. So, yeah, I called my dad up a couple of months ago, and, you know, I put it out all on table, man. I'm like, you know, this is where I'm at, dad. You know, I know that you're calling a lot here, but I'm just. I just got this wall up, man. I mean, it's been a lot of years of you doing some pretty bad things and hurting me and hurting my family. And I know what you're trying to do, and I want to be there with you, man, but my heart's just not in it. So we talked on the phone for about 45 minutes, and he said something to me, and he's like, bert, I have been apologizing to you for 25 or 30 years now. I didn't tell you guys any of this.

[Co-Host 1]

No, no.

[Bert]

He said, I've been apologizing to you. Now for 25 years, I've told you, I know I was a crappy father. I know I haven't been there for you. I know, I know, I know. But there's nothing else I can do about it at this point. I am so sorry. What do I have to do? And we Talked for about 30 minutes more, and I sort of unleashed on him a little bit and just kind of piled on and. And he's like, is that it? Because I really. I really feel like I want to move forward in this relationship. He said, I'm 73 years old. I know I don't have a whole hell of a lot of time left, but I'd like to make it right now. So what else do I gotta do? That was pretty much it. So we talk every week, and I still feel a wall up whenever we talk, but it's starting to come down now. Like, I almost tweeted this weekend that I just got off the phone with my dad and I laughed the whole time. And that's the first time in 20 something years that that has ever happened. He had me in stitches this weekend.

[Co-Host 1]

Well, just so you know, if you had done that, I would have gone to bed earlier Sunday night thinking that you were back on the pain pills. I'm like, wow, Burt's out Monday.

[Bert]

It might be a dream, I don't know. But there's always a part of me that will always have sort of my arm up, keeping him at arm's length, but I'm just doing the best I can in this relationship, and that's really where we're at right now.

[Co-Host 2]

Do you think that that's a result of the therapy, your openness to it?

[Bert]

Yeah. Yeah. Most.

[Co-Host 2]

I just wondered if you thought it was working.

[Bert]

Yeah, I think so in that area for sure. So that's where I'm at with my dad.

[Co-Host 3]

That's cool. Great.

[Bert]

And it's just strange to have somebody that you can actually like. Most of you guys probably have gone to your dad for advice and stuff before. And I wasn't calling him to talk about my age. He just, for the first time, maybe in my life, said something that made sense to me. And it just happened to be about growing older and always thinking that your body can do things that you just can't do anymore. So it was a cool conversation. So that might have been a birthday present in itself right there. So it was cool week. I can't believe I haven't told you

[Co-Host 3]

guys about any of that.

[Co-Host 2]

I think the cool part is you're not Gonna repeat those patterns with your sons?

[Bert]

No, I'm going the other way with it. Totally the other way with it. Christine is on hold. Hey, Christine, can we get to you here in a couple of minutes so we can hear about your weekend with your brother?

[Caller]

Yeah, sure.

[Bert]

Okay. Hold on one sec. All right? We still gotta catch up with her. I could have sworn I told you guys this story. I know you're so confused. People are calling saying I did tell this story.

[Co-Host 1]

No, they're not.

[Co-Host 3]

Yeah.

[Bert]

Hey, Joy.

[Caller]

Hey, Bert. How you doing?

[Bert]

I'm okay.

[Caller]

When did he say I'm your number one fan? You did mention this a couple of months ago. I think Jeff was in negotiation. Melissa was on the couch in Farmville

[Ad Host]

and whatever else was going on.

[Caller]

But you did. Because I was pumping gas at QT and I said, oh, there you go.

[Co-Host 3]

I would have been in the barn in Farmville, not on the couch. So your story is not correct.

[Co-Host 1]

Joy, I'm not sure if you heard this update, but everything that happened while I wasn't here never really happened.

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