Vault: Bert's goal is to be naked!

Summary

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The Bert Show: Vault – Bert’s Goal is to Be Naked!

Episode Date: July 20, 2026
Main Hosts: Bert ("Main Host"), Kristin, Abby, Cassie, Tommy & The Bert Show Cast
Theme: Embracing Vulnerability – Bert’s Unusual New Year’s Resolution to Be Naked

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Episode Overview

In this throwback episode from The Bert Show vault, Bert opens up about a personal and unconventional goal for the year: to get comfortable being naked. The conversation quickly becomes a lighthearted yet earnest exploration of personal vulnerability, cultural attitudes toward nudity, and the psychological hurdles associated with letting it all hang out—sometimes quite literally. Throughout the episode, the cast and callers share their own stories, ranging from growing up in naked-friendly households to why sleeping naked still feels terrifying for some.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Bert’s “Naked” Ambition

• Beginning of the Goal
  Bert introduces his goal for the year—"being naked"—prompted by stories and reflections on New Year's resolutions.

  • “This year, I’m going to do something about it... That's being naked. I'm serious. I'm totally serious, man.” (Main Host, 01:13)

• Family Upbringing and Comfort
  Bert discusses how growing up in a family where everyone stayed clothed contributed to his discomfort.

  • “I think I'm just one of those families where, like, everybody kept their clothes on and, like, nudity wasn't dirty. It was just—we never did it.” (Main Host, 01:24)

2. Cultural Differences & Social Nudity

• Co-hosts’ Experiences with Naked Norms
  The co-hosts compare experiences, noting that comfort with family nudity can sometimes be cultural.

  • “My friends who have parents who were born in Europe are the ones who walk around naked.” (Co-Host 2, 02:15)
  • “I grew up with neighbors who were a nude family… and it was totally, like, totally normal for mom and dad and kids and everybody to walk around naked.” (Co-Host 3, 01:51)

• Funny Anecdotes
  Co-hosts recount relatable stories of being trapped naked after laundry disasters or unexpected visits.

3. The Public Nakedness Spectrum

• Art and Exhibitionism

  • Bert references an art exhibition at MoMA with nude performers as a dramatic example of public nudity:
    “There is a display at the Museum of Modern Art right now that's just nothing but naked people.” (Main Host, 03:39)
  • “It's called the Marina Abramović. The Artist is Present. And it shows live nude performers… you have to pass between them.” (Main Host, 03:48)

• Bert’s Endgame
  Bert sets his sights on building up enough comfort to eventually be naked somewhere public—maybe even at a nudist camp.

  - “My goal, seriously, this year would be at some point this year, I would like to be naked somewhere in public.” *(Main Host, 04:03)*
  

4. Baby Steps & Co-Host Challenges

• Incremental Exposure
  Co-hosts suggest that, for Bert, even walking around the house naked would be a big step.

  • “You need to, even if it's just in your bedroom at your house for one hour, just be naked.” (Co-Host 2, 04:46)
  • “Have you guys been online before just naked?” (Main Host, 05:09)

• Comparisons & Comfort Other cast members share how being naked at home, working, or even emailing Bert—naked—feels natural to them.

  • “Most mornings when I email you… I've just gotten out of the shower, and I love to brush my teeth naked.” (Co-Host 3, 05:29)

5. Listeners Call In: Parenting & Generational Norms

• Kristen’s Story
  Caller Kristen shares her experience with a naked dad:

  • “I grew up. My dad was totally comfortable being naked all the time and still is at 67… It's never been an issue for him.” (Caller Kristen, 06:01)
  • “It's awkward for me as an adult, because, you know, you look at it, you go oh, Lord, put some pants on...but it doesn't faze any of us, really.” (Caller Kristen, 06:27)

• Sarah’s Story Another caller, Sarah, relates to Bert’s reluctance:

  • “I'm on the same exact page that you are...I'm not insecure about the way I look. I just don't like being naked.” (Caller Sarah, 08:13)

  Bert ties this back to vulnerability:

  • “It's just so vulnerable like that.” (Main Host, 08:21)

6. Psychological Barriers: Naked Nightmares & Vulnerability

• Embarrassing Dreams
  Bert confesses that sleeping naked triggers public nudity nightmares:

  • “If I sleep naked, generally, I'll have a dream or a nightmare that I'm in some public place and I'm naked also, and everybody's laughing or looking or I'm really awkward.” (Main Host, 08:46)

• Approaching the Final Goal The team sets an achievable challenge for Bert—be naked for one hour, alone, as a stepping stone.

  • “That's like graduation day.” (Co-Host 1, 09:07)
  • “One hour this week by yourself… Regular routine. But it's naked.” (Co-Host 2 & Main Host, 09:13–09:15)

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Notable Quotes

• “This year, I’m going to do something about it... That's being naked. I'm serious.”
  — Main Host (Bert), 01:13

• “My friends who have parents who were born in Europe are the ones who walk around naked.”
  — Co-Host 2, 02:15

• “I feel so naked.”
  — Main Host, 04:37

• “Most mornings when I email you… I've just gotten out of the shower, and I love to brush my teeth naked.”
  — Co-Host 3, 05:29

• “I'm not insecure about the way I look. I just don't like being naked.”
  — Caller Sarah, 08:13

• “If I sleep naked… I’ll have a dream or a nightmare that I’m in some public place and I’m naked.”
  — Main Host, 08:46

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Key Moments & Timestamps

• [01:13] – Bert reveals his resolution to get comfortable being naked
• [01:51] – Co-hosts share stories of nude-friendly families
• [03:39] – Art as public nudity: MoMA’s live nude installation
• [04:03] – Bert’s confession: Wants to be naked in public by year’s end
• [04:46] – Co-hosts suggest Bert start with one hour naked at home
• [05:29] – Co-host recounts emailing Bert naked most mornings
• [06:01, 06:27] – Callers Kristen and Sarah describe their relationships with nudity
• [08:46] – Bert discusses naked nightmares
• [09:13] – The “one hour naked” challenge is set

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Tone & Atmosphere

The episode is candid, playful, and supportive. The hosts encourage each other’s vulnerabilities while keeping the mood light with jokes and relatable anecdotes. The conversation dabbles in cultural analysis, personal reflection, and even some (PG-rated) personal confessions, making for an episode that’s both entertaining and unexpectedly resonant.

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Takeaway

Bert’s goal to be more comfortable naked opens the door to a wider conversation about vulnerability, body image, and the ways cultural upbringing shapes our comfort with ourselves. While the mood is light and often humorous, the discussion ultimately invites listeners to consider their own comfort zones and how small, intentional steps—literal or figurative—can have a big impact.

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Transcript

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[Main Host]

You know, we were talking about superficial resolutions last year, and we really haven't talked about them too much like this year, have we?

[Co-Host 1]

Not superficial ones.

[Main Host]

I've got one that has sort of been in the back of my head for a long time now. But this year, I'm going to do something about it. And when a story like this comes out, it re. It reminds me that this is something I really want to get good at.

[Co-Host 2]

Okay?

[Main Host]

And that's being naked. I'm serious. I'm totally serious, man. For no real reason, man. I think I'm just one of those families where, like, everybody kept their clothes on and, like, nudity wasn't dirty. It was just. We never did it.

[Co-Host 1]

Well, not too many families walk around naked in the house, but I think that's extreme.

[Co-Host 2]

What do you mean for families to be nude?

[Main Host]

Oh, I don't think. Check this out. 404741. Q100. Wait till you hear this. Oh, yeah.

[Co-Host 2]

By what?

[Main Host]

Oh, yeah.

[Co-Host 3]

I know. I grew up with neighbors who were nude. Family.

[Main Host]

Oh, yeah, man.

[Co-Host 3]

And it was totally, like, totally normal

[Co-Host 2]

for mom and dad and kids and everybody to walk around naked.

[Main Host]

We've taken calls from, like, adult women that said that their fathers still walk around the house naked when they go to visit.

[Co-Host 2]

The only people I know that are, like, that have parents that are European

[Main Host]

or you, like, live out in Northern California somewhere.

[Co-Host 2]

No, literally.

[Co-Host 3]

Literally.

[Co-Host 2]

My friends who have parents who were born in Europe are the ones who walk around naked. But other than that, I don't know anybody.

[Co-Host 1]

I mean, like, my parents would change. They would change. They never got naked. They had no problem changing. Like, their bedroom door might be open, and they're changing clothes for something. And so there. Maybe that was the message that it's no big deal to, you know, your body's no big deal. They didn't, like, lock the door to change their clothes or anything.

[Main Host]

Everybody in here can walk around your house naked, no problem. And be comfortable.

[Caller Kristen]

Yes.

[Co-Host 2]

Yes.

[Co-Host 3]

Like, who's over?

[Main Host]

Like, just you. I mean, just you. Or even just you and Jessica.

[Co-Host 3]

I'm. The only thing that weirds me out is I've been trapped upstairs naked. Because if somebody comes to the front door, then that would be a little awkward. It's not funny. There's. The only way downstairs is right into the front of the house, which is all windows. And there's actually been a time where I've been in my office, and Jessica yells, do you have any laundry? And. And the laundry that I have is the clothes that I'm wearing. And I've thrown them over the edge, and she's thrown them in the washer. And then the doorbell rings, and I'm upstairs. And not only am I trapped, I'm in my office, which is like a. Yeah. Type thing. And you can't even run across because then you look like a streaker. And that's

[Co-Host 2]

awesome.

[Co-Host 3]

Hey, I just. I know it's gonna sound like a weird 911 call, but I'm at a guy's door, and the dad from Family Guy is upstairs running around naked.

[Main Host]

There' There is a display at the Museum of Modern Art right now that's just nothing but naked people.

[Co-Host 3]

Oh, I saw that.

[Main Host]

It's called the Marina Abramovich. The Artist is present. And it shows live nude performers facing each other in a narrow doorway. So people are this close to each other nude. Oh, I saw those looking at each other while.

[Co-Host 3]

And you have to pass between them.

[Main Host]

You've got to pass between them in some cases. My goal, seriously, this year would be at some point this year, I would like to be naked somewhere in public.

[Co-Host 3]

I'll do it with you.

[Main Host]

I'll handle this one.

[Co-Host 2]

I got this.

[Main Host]

I'm gonna go solo on this one. But I don't know the baby steps to wean myself up to it. Like, I think baby step one. I am not even comfortable in my home with only my family around naked.

[Co-Host 2]

I think, what about yourself?

[Main Host]

Even really by. I would not want to be in my house walking around naked, even by yourself. Even by myself. That's how kind of freaky it is.

[Co-Host 1]

Cause that may be the first baby step.

[Main Host]

And it's not a body. Because I'm comfortable with my body. I really am. I just don't know. It's just really. I feel so naked.

[Co-Host 2]

I think that you need to do it, like, this week. At some point this week, you need to. Even if it's just in your bedroom at your house for one hour, just be naked.

[Main Host]

Whether you just sit on the couch

[Co-Host 2]

naked on the computer, sit on the couch, watch tv, lie on the bed, take a nap. Whatever it is, you do it for one hour by yourself, no kids around. Cause that might freak you out, but just by yourself, just be naked.

[Main Host]

Have you guys been online before just naked?

[Co-Host 2]

Yeah.

[Main Host]

I mean, you're not necessarily chilling. Yeah. Like, you work at your computer naked.

[Co-Host 3]

Yes.

[Co-Host 2]

Yes.

[Main Host]

If anything, I'd have, like, boxers on.

[Co-Host 3]

Can I. You want to be traumatized? You've emailed Bert naked most mornings when.

[Co-Host 2]

I love this.

[Co-Host 3]

You may want to put your shirt down over. Yeah, here we go. Tent man. Most mornings when I email you later in the morning, I'm probably naked. Cause I take my BlackBerry, I sit at my computer. As soon as I get up, I go to my computer, do some work. Then I go into the bathroom. And anybody who writes me back, I've just gotten out of the shower, and I love to brush my teeth naked and look at myself in the mirror. So that's.

[Caller Sarah]

Say that.

[Main Host]

Hey, Kristen, good Morning. You're on Q100.

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[Caller Kristen]

I grew up. My dad was totally comfortable being naked all the time and still is at 67. I don't know why. He just, you know, it's never been an issue for him and Will at.

[Main Host]

At now as an adult and you as an adult, because we've taken these calls before where Grandpa will still walk around naked in the house when the grandkids are there and his kids are there as well.

[Caller Kristen]

Yeah, he does. And it's. It's awkward for me as an adult, because, you know, you go, you look at it, you go, oh, Lord, he put some pants on. But, you know, it's something I've lived with my whole life, and it doesn't faze any of us, really. It's just like, oh, God, here he comes.

[Main Host]

I think when you have that around you all the time, you're fine with it. Like, if Stacey and I even are just in the same room together alone, I mean, we're not intimate. Intimate. I got zero problem naked at all. But if we're Just standing in the room together naked. I'm insecure.

[Co-Host 3]

Will you get out of the shower? Would you get out of the shower and walk into. Because I'm assuming that your bathroom. Your master bathroom is attached to your bedroom. Master bedroom. Right.

[Main Host]

Yes.

[Co-Host 3]

So let's say she's lying on the bed watching TV or reading a book or whatever. You get out of the shower, and you don't like the clothes that you've brought into the bathroom with you. Will you walk into the master bedroom because the shorts that you were wearing are sitting on the edge of the bed naked, or do you have the towel around you?

[Main Host]

Towel around.

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[Main Host]

I know.

[Co-Host 2]

Sleep naked. You and Stacy.

[Main Host]

I will from time to time. Yeah.

[Co-Host 3]

Sleeping naked doesn't bother me.

[Co-Host 2]

That's maybe a good. A good step.

[Main Host]

It's really weird. It's almost like. Almost like a phobia.

[Co-Host 2]

If you were gonna sleep naked, would you go from the shower to the bed, or would you have a towel around you and then strip real quick and get under the covers?

[Main Host]

I wouldn't. That would not be the reason why I would sleep naked.

[Co-Host 2]

Oh, like, you wouldn't like, if you

[Co-Host 3]

finish doing something if I'm out and

[Main Host]

I wake up the next morning. But I would never purposely sleep naked.

[Co-Host 3]

Hey, do you wear bathrobes around the house? And if yes, will you describe them?

[Main Host]

I'll tweet today. Good morning, Sarah. You're on Q100.

[Co-Host 3]

Hey.

[Caller Sarah]

Hey. I just wanted to tell you I'm on the same exact page that you are, because I feel the same way, and I'm not insecure about the way I look. I just don't like being naked.

[Main Host]

It's just so vulnerable like that, and.

[Caller Sarah]

No, it is. And, I mean, I just. I don't know. I like the way it feels that pulls on. And I've tried to sleep negative people feel so free. You'll love it. And I give it a shot, and I'm miserable, and I wake up and sweating, and I hate it.

[Main Host]

Yeah. This is gonna be the year. My goal this year.

[Co-Host 2]

How do you wake up sweaty if

[Co-Host 1]

you're naked and you don't wake up sweaty when you have clothes on?

[Main Host]

Well, because she's all freaked out.

[Co-Host 1]

Okay.

[Co-Host 2]

Oh, nervous.

[Main Host]

If I sleep naked, generally, I'll have a dream or a nightmare that I'm in some public place and I'm naked also, and everybody's laughing or looking or I'm really awkward.

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[Main Host]

So this year, my goal would be, like, to do. I want to be in, like, I want to go to Like a nudist camp. Even if it's just an hour. At some point where they don't know me.

[Co-Host 1]

We got to build you up to that.

[Main Host]

That's like graduation day.

[Co-Host 2]

That's graduation day. One hour this week.

[Main Host]

One hour this week by yourself.

[Co-Host 2]

You got to spend it naked.

[Main Host]

Regular routine. But it's naked.

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[Caller Sarah]

Right.

[Co-Host 3]

Okay. I can't. During the entertainment buzz between. From the 7 o' clock entertainment buzz to the 8 o' clock entertainment buzz. You're completely naked.

[Co-Host 2]

Let's do it.

[Main Host]

We will see you. No, it's not. The Bird Show.

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