The Bert Show: Vault – Bert's Household Challenge

Pionaire Podcasting | December 22, 2025

Episode Overview

This episode of The Bert Show dives into “Bert’s Household Challenge,” a playful, revealing segment where Bert’s household knowledge (or lack thereof) is put to the test. The show centers on the division of labor in Bert and Stacy’s relationship and explores just how much Bert is aware (or oblivious) to the day-to-day responsibilities in his own home. Laughter, gentle jabs, and moments of genuine self-reflection abound as the cast takes listeners through a lighthearted quiz crafted by Bert’s wife, Stacy, and the rest of the team.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. The Reason for the Challenge

• Background: Bert and Stacy discuss the origins of the "household challenge," highlighting their arrangement: Bert handles professional responsibilities, while Stacy manages almost everything else at home.
• Stacy’s Admission: Stacy openly admits being “out of touch” with many home logistics, compartmentalizing and tuning out details she doesn’t directly handle.

  “If I’m not involved in it, I just check out.” — Bert’s Wife (Stacy) [02:36]

2. Everyday Knowledge (Or the Lack Thereof)

• Absorbed Knowledge: Bert claims he absorbs household information through proximity, even if not directly involved. Stacy disagrees, saying she forgets things that don’t affect her directly.
• Illustrative Example: Bert narrates how he knows about the rose bushes and sprinkler system Jessica set up, demonstrating passive awareness that Stacy finds baffling.
• Practical Gaps: The conversation turns to practical issues, like what Bert would do if something went wrong at home while Stacy was away.

  “…if I come home from work one day and there’s water spewing out of the ground, I would just need to know to call the irrigation company…” — Bert [04:00]

3. Total Dependence: The Safe Crisis and More

• Critical Details: It emerges that Bert doesn’t know essential details, such as the combination to the home safe, or how to find his way around town without Stacy’s help.
• Dependency Humor: The cast jokes about the sheer number of post-it notes Stacy has to leave for Bert when she goes out of town.

  “It was almost like it was wallpaper.” — Quiz Host [04:55]
  “Right in the bathroom it said, ‘Don’t forget, wipe your butt.’” — Bert’s Wife (Stacy) [05:02]

4. The Quiz: Testing Bert’s Household IQ

The core of the segment, the cast and Stacy put Bert on the spot with real-life household questions.

Notable Quiz Questions and Moments

• Getting Directions

  • Bert is asked how to get to a local restaurant (“Garrisons at Vinings”) if called while on the highway:

    “I take 285 west, and when I get on it, I call Stacy for the exit.” — Bert’s Wife (Stacy) [07:20]

    • Partial credit awarded for at least having a plan!

• Paying Georgia Toll

  • What about the Georgia cruise card bill?

    “Gets charged to your credit card every month.” — Bert’s Wife (Stacy) [08:04]

    • Incorrect — and Bert isn’t even aware if they have one.

• Mortgage Provider

  • Who holds your mortgage?

    “SunTrust? Bank of America?” — Bert’s Wife (Stacy) [08:40]

    • Actual answer: Countrywide Mortgage [08:43].

• Birthdays and Anniversary

  • Bert’s asked for birthdays (wife, mom, child) and wedding anniversary:

    “I always have to quiz Stacy two weeks before my mom’s birthday to ask her when my mom’s birthday is. Just so I know when our anniversary is. Just ask it backwards.” — Bert’s Wife (Stacy) [09:18]

    • Half-credit, as Bert mixes up dates but demonstrates why this is tricky for him.

• Tools and Home Maintenance

  • Bert’s shown various household tools:

    “To cut. To prune…Thinks it’s a pruner.” — Bert’s Wife (Stacy) [09:55]

    • It was a wire stripper!

    “As soon as you say an Allen wrench, there you go.” — Bert’s Wife (Stacy) [10:25]

    • Finally, a win!

• Supermarket Price Challenge

  • Bert’s quizzed to identify the most and least expensive items from a recent Kroger trip and estimate their prices:

    “Milk is least expensive. The detergent is most expensive.” — Bert’s Wife (Stacy) [12:05]

    • Close on guesses; Bert manages to land within a dollar for most items, impressing the cast.

• Loyalty Cards

  • How to save at Kroger (other than coupons)?

    “One of those Kroger cards. Kroger keychain card things.” — Bert’s Wife (Stacy) [14:16]

    • Nailed it.

• Workplace Relationships

  • Which department does Vaughn Honeycutt work in?

    “Accounting department. Yes, yes, yes, Vaughn. I know him. Tall, skinny dude.” — Bert’s Wife (Stacy) [14:34]

5. Playful Ribbing and Reflections

• The cast cheers and teases Bert as he struggles and occasionally succeeds, poking fun at his dependence but also reflecting that many partners might find themselves in the same boat.

  “But I think most husbands probably would get that wrong, to be honest with you.” — Producer Tracy [13:01]

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Stacy on Compartmentalizing:

  “If I have anything to do with it, if I’m getting my hands dirty, then I’m invested. But if not, then … I try not to even think about it.” — Bert’s Wife (Stacy) [02:41]

• On Not Knowing the Safe Combination:

  “You couldn’t get your passport because it’s locked in the safe in your house that you don’t know the combination of.” — Bert [06:06]

• Self-Comparison to Famous Cluelessness:

  “Remember the first George Bush when he went through the supermarket and he didn’t know what the scanner was and the whole country came down on him? I feel like that right [now].” — Bert’s Wife (Stacy) [10:44]

• Tools Trouble:

  “She asked me to run downstairs and go get a tool. And I opened up the toolbox and realized … I have no idea what she just asked me for.” — Bert’s Wife (Stacy) [10:08]

• On Grocery Shopping:

  “I haven’t seen the inside of a supermarket in who knows how long. … I haven’t had to do my own shopping. I mean, it’s been 11 years. Probably Stacy’s taken care of it from day one.” — Bert’s Wife (Stacy) [12:52 & 13:06]

• Workplace Knowledge Victory:

  “Accounting department. Yes, yes, yes, Vaughn. I know him. Tall, skinny dude.” — Bert’s Wife (Stacy) [14:34]

Timeline of Important Segments

| Timestamp | Segment | |---------------|-------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | 01:32 | Main episode content begins; setup for the household challenge | | 02:36 | Stacy explains tuning out of responsibilities she’s not involved in | | 04:00 | Bert discusses importance of basic household knowledge, even if uninvolved | | 04:55 | Hilarious discussion about post-it notes and Bert’s forgetfulness | | 06:06 | Safe combination scenario — Bert’s lack of vital info exposed | | 07:10 | Quiz begins: Directions, tolls, mortgage, and personal trivia | | 09:55 | Tool identification challenge — pruners vs. wire stripper | | 11:01 | “Price is Right” style grocery price guessing | | 13:01 | Discussion on whether spouses in general would fare better | | 14:34 | Workplace department knowledge — Bert’s small victory |

Final Thoughts

The episode is a fun, relatable look at domestic division of labor, communication, and the everyday knowledge gaps that can exist in relationships. The Bert Show cast keeps the tone breezy and good-natured, showing both sympathy and incredulity as Bert navigates questions most people think they should know.

For anyone who hasn’t listened, the segment serves as a humorous reminder to stay plugged into your household — or, at least, to know who to call when you’re locked out of the safe.

End of summary