Vault: Bert's letter from mom is still unopened

Summary

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The Bert Show Episode Summary

Episode Title: Vault: Bert's Letter from Mom is Still Unopened
Release Date: July 30, 2026
Main Theme:
A deeply personal and honest conversation among the hosts—especially centering on Bert (referenced as Jen Hubby in the transcript) and the emotional complexities of his estranged relationship with his mother. The discussion revolves around receiving an unopened, handwritten letter from his mother after months of no contact, the fear of its contents, and how family trauma can linger and affect important moments in life.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Background of Family Estrangement

• Bert (Jen Hubby) shares the ongoing strain in his relationship with his mother:
  • They've not spoken for months after she said she couldn't handle their relationship.
  • After a period of silence, his mother reached out again, but Bert felt he wasn't ready to reconnect on her timeline.

“Basically, my mom said to me around, like, I don't know, November or something like, this relationship, I can't. I've got too much going on right now, and this relationship is too hurtful. I don't want to speak to you, so whatever.” (Jen Hubby, 00:32)

• The issues run deep, with Bert emphasizing, “there are years and years and years and stuff” making it too much to dissect in one segment (00:41).

2. The Unopened Letter

• Two days before the episode, Bert receives a handwritten letter from his mother, which he has not yet opened, anticipating it might contain more hurtful comments.

“I just know the pattern, man. Like, I know that the things she's gonna say in there are gonna be hurtful. So. So it's sitting on my counter right now, and I have no idea when I'm gonna open it up.” (Jen Hubby, 01:10)

• The letter weighs on him — it's described as “calling me like, you want to deal with me now? It's either deal with me now or deal with me later, but you're gonna deal with me.” (02:40)

3. Parental Pain and Cycles of Hurt

• The group discusses how they can't imagine deliberately hurting their own children, pointing out the unusual dynamics of Bert’s family compared to their own ideals as parents.

“As a parent, I can't understand it either. Like, the things that my parents have said to me over the years, I could never, ever say to my children. Because you. You don't go out of your way to hurt your kids. Right, Right. And that's why I don't think that she goes out of her way to hurt me. But she says things unknowingly that are just really hurtful as a child…” (Jen Hubby, 02:15)

4. Coping with Emotional Triggers and Timing

• The cast debates whether Bert should open the letter immediately or wait:
  • Stacy recommends postponing until after a month full of celebrations (wedding anniversary, child's birthday, wife’s birthday, Mother's Day).

“Your wedding anniversary, Hollis's birthday. Your wife's birthday, Mother's Day. Mother's Day. Like, this is. May is always, like, a big month for you. Like a big month of celebrations…maybe wait till June 1st.” (Stacy, 03:59–04:15)

• Bert agrees this could help protect those positive family moments.

• Hayden brings up the mental toll of postponement: “As long as it doesn't. But then you have to put the letter away from you so you don't see it.” (Hayden, 04:17)

• The conversation highlights that even avoidance comes with its own emotional weight—the unopened letter can cast a shadow either way.

“Well, either way, it will be. Either dealing with it or not dealing with it is still going to be a dark cloud.” (Jen Hubby, 04:43)

5. Personal Growth and Therapy

• Bert acknowledges therapy’s role in broadening his perspective and realizing the dysfunction in his family is not "normal":

“Before I met Stacy and before I was getting a whole bunch of therapy, I just thought this was how families did things. And now I know differently. So when I get stuff like this, it hurts more.” (Jen Hubby, 03:33)

• Stacy supports this, saying that greater awareness makes things harder: “Yeah. Cause, you know, it's so unhealthy.” (Stacy, 03:46)

6. Community Support: Listener Suggestions

• Bert mentions listeners on Facebook and Twitter suggested he have Stacy read the letter first and act as an emotional filter.

“Suggestions that I got on Facebook and Twitter yesterday I thought were really good and ones that I hadn't thought of is have Stacy open it. And then she's sort of the filter saying, yeah, this is something that you could probably take right now, or, no, let's wait a couple of months before we deal with it.” (Jen Hubby, 02:51)

7. Memorable & Lighthearted Moments

• Amid the seriousness, the crew share jokes to lighten the tone:

“I roll it up and smoke it.” (Jen Hubby, joking about the letter, 02:51)

• The discussion transitions to a playful nod to the show’s ongoing themes of dysfunction:

“Dysfunction.” / “Dysfunctional.” / “Look, Daddy, there's fun in this dysfunctional.” (05:12–05:16)

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Notable Quotes & Moments with Timestamps

• On parental pain:
  “I could never, ever say to my children. Because you. You don't go out of your way to hurt your kids. Right?” – Jen Hubby (02:15)

• On the cycle of hurt:
  “Either dealing with it or not dealing with it is still going to be a dark cloud.” – Jen Hubby (04:43)

• On personal growth:
  “Before I met Stacy and before I was getting a whole bunch of therapy, I just thought this was how families did things. And now I know differently.” – Jen Hubby (03:33)

• On humor amidst struggle:
  “I roll it up and smoke it.” – Jen Hubby (02:51)
  “Look, Daddy, there's fun in this dysfunctional.” – Hayden (05:16)

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Important Segment Timestamps

• Estrangement history and unopened letter: 00:32–02:15
• Suggestions for handling the letter: 02:51–03:19
• Debate about timing of opening: 03:50–04:43
• Therapy and coping: 03:33–03:47
• Jokes and bringing it back to show themes: 04:55–05:21

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Summary Conclusion

This episode is a vulnerable, real-time look into Bert's navigation of complicated family dynamics, highlighting how past hurt seeps into the present and the challenges of deciding when or how to confront emotional baggage. Relatable, sometimes darkly funny, and always authentic, the cast provides both support and practical suggestions, making the conversation meaningful for anyone facing similar family struggles. The show’s trademark warmth and humor help balance the heaviness—reminding listeners: there really is “fun in this dysfunctional.”

Transcript

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[Jen Hubby]

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[Bubba Wallace]

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[Jen Hubby]

So I tweeted about this yesterday. You know, my mom and I haven't talked to each other in months, right? And to tell you guys, why, it would take years and years and years and years. But basically, my mom said to me around, like, I don't know, November or something like, this relationship, I can't. I've got too much going on right now, and this relationship is too hurtful. I don't want to speak to you, so whatever. So then a couple of months later, she emails me back, and she's like, okay, I'm ready to talk now. I'm feeling healthy. So I sent her one back saying, you know, my life's really not on your timetable, so I'll hit you back when. When I'm ready for this. So we haven't talked to each other at all, and the things that led up to it just. There's so many. There are years and years and years and stuff. Just can't get into the whole thing. So I got a letter from her 48 hours ago in the mail, and I haven't opened it up. Mean, like a handwritten letter. Handwritten letter, snail mail. And I just know the pattern, man. Like, I know that the things she's gonna say in there are gonna be hurtful. So. So it's sitting on my counter right now, and I have no idea when I'm gonna open it up.

[Stacy]

Happy Mother's Day.

[Hayden]

I wouldn't do it on Sunday.

[Jen Hubby]

Yeah, right now I could open it up and, you know, it could be like a complete reconciliation note. Who knows? Like, I'm so sorry that this has happened to us. We should be past this. But my gut says there are gonna be daggers flown in that thing.

[Stacy]

What? I don't understand what.

[Jen Hubby]

That's what she does. She just. Like.

[Stacy]

Like, I could understand a parent who had a child that maybe put them through a whole lot of whatever. Like a. I don't. Honestly, I can't even imagine It. Cause typically, parents who have kids that are, you know, drug addicts and stealing from them and, you know, doing everything possible to hurt them, those parents are still, like, would never throw daggers at their kids. I just. I don't get it.

[Jen Hubby]

As a parent, I can't understand it either. Like, the things that my parents have said to me over the years, I could never, ever say to my children. Because you. You don't go out of your way to hurt your kids. Right, Right. And that's why I don't think that she goes out of her way to hurt me. But she says things unknowingly that are just really hurtful as a child. And I just don't. I don't. I just. I'm at a place right now where I just don't feel like dealing with it. But that letter is always. Is there on the counter, just calling me like, you want to deal with me now? It's either deal with me now or deal with me later, but you're gonna deal with me. So it's just sitting there right now.

[Stacy]

What do you think you're gonna do with it?

[Jen Hubby]

I roll it up and smoke it. Well, the suggestions that I got on Facebook and Twitter yesterday I thought were really good and ones that I hadn't thought of is have Stacy open it. And then she's sort of the filter saying, yeah, this is something that you could probably take right now, or, no, let's wait a couple of months before we deal with it.

[Hayden]

But even if she says that, it'll still eat at you, you know, Is it how now, as you've grown older and you've gone through this phase with your parents several times, how long does it take you to recover from something that is hurtful?

[Stacy]

It used.

[Jen Hubby]

It used to be easier. Now it's getting harder, really? As I get older. Yeah.

[Hayden]

Because I was going to say just rip the band aid off and get it over with. But if you're. If it's going to take a while for you to recover from it, then I would wait until, you know, after. When you have time to do that.

[Jen Hubby]

I tell you what I think's happened is, you know, before I met Stacy and before I was getting a whole bunch of therapy, I just thought this was how families did things. And now I know differently. So when I get stuff like this, it hurts more.

[Stacy]

Yeah. Cause, you know, it's so unhealthy.

[Jen Hubby]

Cause I know it's so unhealthy, and it's so unusual.

[Stacy]

You know, I would say the opposite of the rip the band aid off thing, I would say wait, because this is a big month of celebrations for your family.

[Jen Hubby]

Yeah. Okay.

[Stacy]

Your wedding anniversary, Hollis's birthday. Your wife's birthday, Mother's Day. Mother's Day. Like, this is. May is always, like, a big month for you. Like a big month of celebrations. And you should be able to celebrate all of those things. They're all, like, really awesome things for your family. So, like, maybe wait till June 1st.

[Jen Hubby]

I think it's a great idea.

[Hayden]

As long as it doesn't. But then you have to put the letter away from you so you don't see it.

[Jen Hubby]

Yeah.

[Hayden]

It just depends on how much it's in your head that it's sitting there.

[Jen Hubby]

Well, the importance of celebrating all these things might take precedence over, you know, sort of the curiosity of what's in that letter. That's a good point that I hadn't even thought about. How can you just totally compartmentalize it, though, and not think about it?

[Hayden]

You know? I mean, only you can answer that, right?

[Jen Hubby]

I can't.

[Stacy]

You just don't want it to be a dark cloud over this month that's supposed to be such a celebration of your life.

[Jen Hubby]

Well, either way, it will be. Either dealing with with it or not dealing with it is still going to be a dark cloud. Right.

[Bubba Wallace]

How well is Hayden reading?

[Hayden]

You can make this into a lesson.

[Jen Hubby]

You are so ready to be a parent. I didn't know until just now.

[Bubba Wallace]

That's what I was thinking. You see, you can be a learning experience.

[Stacy]

You can use big words if it's

[Bubba Wallace]

talked about, rumored or gossiped. You'll hear it first on Jen Hubby's Entertainment Buzz. Q100.

[Jen Hubby]

Sound it out, Hayden.

[Bubba Wallace]

Dysfunction.

[Jen Hubby]

Dysfunctional.

[Hayden]

Look, Daddy, there's fun in this dysfunctional

[Bubba Wallace]

the Bird show.