Vault: Bert's memory is being put to the test

Summary

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The Bert Show — Vault: Bert's Memory Is Being Put to the Test

Release Date: June 2, 2026

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Episode Overview

In this lively throwback episode, the Bert Show crew reminisces about their long-running tradition: Bert selecting a number at the beginning of each year and challenging himself to remember it by year's end. What begins as a simple listener call quickly becomes a hilarious group effort (and memory test), exposing not just Bert's struggles, but how contagious his forgetfulness is for the whole team.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. The Listener Challenge: Remembering "The Number"

• [00:01] Caller Richard prompts the segment, reminding the team about Bert’s annual memory challenge: picking a number on air and seeing if he remembers it a year later.

  • Quote: "I think in the beginning of the year, every year, you pick a number to try to remember." — Richard, [00:13]

• The team can't remember if the tradition even happened last year—amplifying the irony.

2. Classic Bert Show Banter About Forgetfulness

• [01:04] Intern Natalie joins to verify if a number was picked.

  • Natalie recalls the context but not the exact number, knowing Bert used a memorable clue.

• [01:32] Bert admits his notorious struggle, which has become a running joke on the show.

  • Quote: "This is the running joke on the show that my memory is so bad that I can't even remember a number that I pick at the front end of the year all year long." — Bert, [01:32]

• The banter extends to the team, who joke that Bert’s forgetfulness is rubbing off on them.

  • Quote: "I think it's rubbing off on me because my memory, I think, has gotten worse since we started working together." — Co-host, [01:45]

3. The Guessing Games & Friendly Competition

• [02:26] Bert, feeling competitive and under pressure, tries reconstructing the memory.

  • Other team members secretly jot down their own guesses for extra fun.

• [02:43] Bert reasons his way to “13” (his own birthday), though he's unsure.

  • Quote: "For whatever reason, my gut says that I picked my birth date, which would be 13, which I'm not saying is the number yet." — Bert, [02:43]

• The discussion turns to memorable numbers: birthdays, favorite athletes, anniversaries.

4. Revelation: The Actual Number Was...

• [03:54] The clue: it was Bert's wife's birthday (May 15th), so the number should have been “15.” Bert had guessed “13,” his own birthday.

  • Quote:
    "It's your wife's birthday, so I don't know what her birthday is." — Intern Natalie, [03:54]
    "May 15th... So the number would have been 15." — Bert, [04:08]

• Others chime in with their guesses—some close, but no one exactly right.

5. Setting Up for Next Year: The Streak Continues

• [04:35] Bert pledges for next year that “13” will be the number to remember, tying it more explicitly to his own birthday.

  • Quote: "The date of my birth. The 13th. 13 will be the number that I will remember next year at this time." — Bert, [04:50]

• Bert ups the stakes, promising $100 to every full-time mic-holder if he forgets.

  • Quote: "If I don't remember it, we'll go back to the money thing. Y'all get a hundred dollars." — Bert, [04:59]

• The team enthusiastically accepts the new challenge.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• "Even then you kept saying that you weren't gonna remember it, so that probably helped you to remember it." — Intern Natalie, [01:55]
• "She even gave you a hint, and you can't remember nothing." — Co-host (teasing Bert), [03:37]
• "Bring on the money." — Co-host, [05:07]
• The rapport, friendly ribbing, and self-deprecating humor about memory lapses highlight the authenticity the show is known for.

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Important Timestamps

• 00:01 — Listener Richard’s call prompts the memory challenge.
• 01:04 — Intern Natalie joins the discussion.
• 01:32 — Bert addresses the running joke about his bad memory.
• 02:26 — Team speculation and theories on the mystery number.
• 03:54 — Reveal: the number was tied to Bert’s wife’s birthday.
• 04:35 — Bert sets this year’s number and stakes ($100 per co-host if he fails).
• 05:20 — End of main content.

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Tone & Takeaway

This episode is a classic Bert Show blend of good-natured mocking, self-aware humor, and genuine camaraderie. It spotlights the ongoing joke about Bert's forgetfulness and shows how the show's unscripted moments bring both cast and listeners into a relatable, laughter-filled space.

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Transcript

[A]

The Bird Show. Hey, Richard.

[B]

Good Morning.

[A]

You're on Q100. Hi.

[B]

You guys are gonna put me on the air. What's going on, guys?

[A]

Hey, you're on the air. You're going on, right?

[B]

I didn't know that.

[A]

What's up, man?

[B]

Not a lot. Hey, man, I was just calling because just, you know, by whiff real quick, it came on to me that I think in the beginning of the year, every year, you pick a number to try to remember.

[A]

Right.

[B]

And I was just wondering if you guys have done that yet.

[A]

Well, we can't. None of us can remember if I picked a number or not last year. And we went through all of our predictions yesterday, the ones that we had for 2008, for 2009, and Josh never supplied us the part of that audio where I predict the number for the entire year.

[C]

See, I think you did do it.

[D]

I don't think you did it.

[A]

I don't think I did. I think I was so frustrated last year because it was like, the fifth straight year in a row that I couldn't remember the number. I don't think I did it. Did I do it? I did do it. Hold on one sec. Come up here, intern Natalie. Come up here.

[C]

Do you remember the number, Natalie?

[E]

I remember what it's about, but I

[B]

don't know if it's.

[A]

Oh, hold on a sec. Let's get Natalie up here. This is intern Natalie's at Mic Music. I did pick a number last year.

[E]

Yeah, you did pick a number, and you had a way to remember it. So I don't know the number, but you would know the number if I told you what it was about.

[A]

So the fact that I did pick a number puts me on the spot again. So don't tell me how I chose to remember that number. That would give it away.

[E]

Right?

[A]

All right. Richard, you called me out, man. I guess I did. This is the running joke on the show that my memory is so bad that I can't even remember a number that I pick at the front end of the year all year long.

[D]

And I think it's rubbing off on me because my memory, I think, has gotten worse since we started working together.

[A]

Well, I think it's schedule. It's a schedule, too, man.

[D]

Even then.

[A]

What's that?

[E]

Even then you kept saying that you weren't gonna remember it, so that probably helped you to remember it. If you say you're not going to remember something, then you're not going to even try to remember.

[A]

Well, I mean, for five straight years now, I'VE picked a number, and at the end of the year, I can't remember the number.

[C]

So this year, you can even remember that you picked a number.

[A]

Right? None of us could. All right, let's try this.

[D]

I think I remember now. It's starting to come back to me, what you would have picked.

[A]

The problem here is I'm so competitive that I don't want you guys to win, that I feel a lot of pressure to get it right right now.

[D]

I'm gonna write, wendy, do you think you remember?

[C]

I know you picked a way to remember it, but I don't even remember.

[D]

I'm gonna write down what I think it is and show Natalie.

[C]

Okay, I'll do the same thing just for fun.

[A]

The only thing that keeps coming to my mind. And seriously, I didn't think that I picked a number, but for whatever reason, my gut says that I picked my birth date, which would be 13, which I'm not saying is the number yet.

[C]

Natalie doesn't know the number. She just knows the clue to help you remember the numbers.

[B]

Okay.

[C]

I just wrote down two numbers.

[E]

I don't think so.

[D]

Okay.

[C]

I had my first number, and then

[D]

I had my two guesses, too.

[A]

I remember making it, like, really easy, like, oh, and that's a number that I'll never forget. So it either has to be.

[D]

It's gotta be something.

[A]

It's gotta be like my birthday that I would never forget before. I tried to use numbers of players that I've admired all the years, and I butcher that.

[E]

Well, that's close.

[A]

So I. Oh, I did.

[E]

That's close.

[D]

Ah, crap. You're not supposed to give him anything.

[E]

Okay, sorry.

[C]

This is funny.

[A]

What athlete or what number would I.

[D]

She even gave you a hint, and you can't remember nothing.

[A]

I got nothing.

[D]

Just spit one out.

[A]

I'm just gonna go with 13. Cause I think I would try to make it as basic as I can, and that would be my birth date. 13. 13 is the number. 13 is the number.

[E]

Can I tell you what it's in reference to?

[A]

Yeah.

[E]

It's your wife's birthday, so I don't know what her birthday is.

[A]

Well, now the pressure's on.

[D]

Is that my second guess? Well, you have to tell us what your wife's birthday is.

[A]

May 15th.

[D]

Oh, thinking I was close.

[A]

It was 15.

[E]

It was your wife's birthday, so it's

[A]

May 15th, so the number would have been 15.

[E]

Jenna's close.

[D]

I thought that Stacy's birthday was the 25th, so I wrote down 525.

[C]

See? I just put 52, but I thought

[D]

I remembered it has your wedding anniversary, not your wife's birthday, which it might

[A]

have been, which would have been the 23rd. The 25th is Hollis's birthday.

[D]

Okay.

[A]

And also my mom's birthday, all in May. So it was Stacy's birthday. So that means it would have been 15. Okay. I'm gonna do this for this year.

[D]

Okay.

[A]

You're gonna predict this is it the

[D]

number you're gonna remember.

[A]

This is it, right?

[C]

The timeline.

[A]

This will break the streak. Right here, right now, Right here, right now.

[D]

Next year.

[A]

Next year. This is 2011.

[D]

I am going to remember this.

[A]

The date of my birth. The 13th. 13 will be the number that I will remember next year at this time.

[D]

Okay.

[A]

And if I don't remember it, we'll go back to the money thing. Y' all get a hundred dollars.

[D]

Nice.

[C]

Sweet.

[A]

All right. That would be my motivation. Okay.

[C]

Bring on the money.

[A]

And there it is. Thirteen will be the number. If I don't get it, everybody that has a mic full time gets $100. Not everybody on the staff.

[D]

I can't.

[E]

Okay.

[A]

Thirteen.

[D]

Okay.

[A]

Okay.

[D]

Got it.

[A]

Thank you. The vert show.