The Bert Show – "Vault: Bert's Olympic Montage"

Date: November 4, 2025
Main Theme:
In this episode, the Bert Show crew dives into the fun, quirks, and melodrama of Winter Olympics television coverage—especially NBC’s penchant for athlete montages—before unveiling a tongue-in-cheek “Olympic montage” dedicated to host Bert Weiss’s infamous short-term memory problems. With classic Bert Show humor and banter, the team satirizes sports storytelling while offering a personal peek at their host’s daily challenges.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Olympic Viewing Habits and New Winter Sports (02:00–03:15)

• Bert Weiss admits to not watching much of the Olympics after Ryan Lochte's infamous incident, revealing flagging interest but notes new events catch his eye.
  • “I didn’t watch too much Olympic like I kind of like fell off the table after Ryan Levier.” (02:00, Bert Weiss)
• Ben Hubbie enjoys tuning in to whatever’s on, but isn’t enthralled by every sport:
  • “I couldn’t quite get into the cross country skiing…” (02:07, Ben Hubbie)
• Discussion of exciting modern events, like snowboard cross, where four racers compete head-to-head:
  • “Snowboarding cross thing where you have four people lined up and they’re all competing…that’s pretty awesome.” (02:24, Bert Weiss)
• Lots of playful ribbing and snowboarding lingo, poking fun at “The Flying Tomato” (Shaun White):
  • “It’s all about organic food, bro. That’s it. Give me a little organic food. The gold is mine.” (03:05, Bert Weiss)

2. Satirizing the NBC Olympic Montages (03:12–04:27)

• The team jokes about how NBC’s Olympic coverage features overly dramatic athlete montages.
  • “It’s really more fun to actually see these montages that NBC is putting together…than it is to watch curling.” (03:12, Bert Weiss)
• Mocking how every montage involves athletes staring longingly out the window or over trophy cases, symbolizing "the past" and "the future":
  • “The trophies represent the past, but what’s out the window represents the future.” (03:43, Host)
  • “This is what has been. But Michelle Kwan asks herself, what could be.” (03:51, Host)
• Ben Hubbie wants a “supercut” montage of all the dramatic head turns and window stares:
  • “Just the faces, just the turns, not the whole thing…all the retrospective looks…” (03:59, Ben Hubbie; 04:06, Burt Weiss)

3. Bert’s Own ‘Olympic Montage’: The Memory Loss Bit (04:27–08:02)

• The show transitions into Bert’s “Olympic montage,” parodying the genre with a mock-narrative of his legendary short-term memory struggles:
  • “Each day is a gold medal in short term memory loss. A recollection of anything that happened, in some cases, minutes beforehand.” (04:27, Narrator)
• Bert describes the daily confusion:
  • “Most days I really spend just kind of like walking from room to room trying to figure out what I’m in the process of doing because I can’t remember once I leave one room.” (05:02, Bert Weiss)
• Intern Aaron commiserates with tongue-in-cheek sadness:
  • “Each morning Bert reintroduces himself to me as though it’s the first time we ever met…for him, I guess it’s like that movie Groundhog Day.” (05:12, Intern Aaron)
• Jeff Doll, show co-host, nervously recounts booking interviews for Bert, knowing Bert will inevitably forget crucial details:
  • “Bert is gonna forget something really important…somehow he will screw it up and embarrass the Bert Show…” (05:26, Jeff Doll)
• Bert’s well-known pop culture slip-ups:
  • “If anything, I think you guys sexualized men. Cause I remember that video with all the dudes coming out of the elevator…” (05:45, Bert Weiss)
  • Cue: mistaken identity, thinks it's Tony Braxton; team corrects him, laughs ensue (05:54–05:59).
• Bert compares himself to the protagonist in Memento:
  • “Have you ever seen that movie Memento? That’s the movie that Rob Lowe is in…It’s about a dude that doesn’t have any short term memory. Not only is it Rob Lowe’s best work, but I live my life like that every single day.” (05:59, Bert Weiss)
• More playful backstabbing: Co-workers admit messing with him, pretending he approved things he never heard:
  • “I’ll tell him that he’s actually approved things that truthfully, I never even asked him about.” (06:27, Intern Aaron as Tracy Peluso)
• Ben Hubbie enjoys Bert’s memory foibles, recalling a never-paid $100 bet:
  • “Last year he made this hundred dollar bet with us. Still won’t pay off…” (06:34, Ben Hubbie)
• Revisiting a failed memory test, Bert is unable to recall the number “48” he was supposed to remember for a year ("I'm gonna go with the number 21…"):
  • [Clip replay] (07:09–07:15)
  • “The problem is people can’t understand my pain. They don’t know what it’s like. Did not have any short term memory whatsoever.” (07:27, Bert Weiss)
• Bert’s parking lot woes:
  • “I can’t think of the last time I parked my car and got out and didn’t have to walk around...with my keychain over my head, hitting my alarm button to try to locate where my car is.” (07:27, Bert Weiss)
  • “If Stacy’s not with me, I spend more time in my day trying to figure out where I parked my car than I did in the actual meeting I just got out of.” (08:24, Bert Weiss)

4. Lighthearted Banter Wrap-up (08:21–08:45)

• The team teases Bert about avoiding malls, since he spends more time searching for his car than shopping.
  • “No wonder you hate going to the mall and stuff… you’re in the mall for 45 minutes, you’re in the parking lot for 90.” (08:37, Host; 08:41, Ben Hubbie)

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

| Timestamp | Speaker | Quote / Commentary | |---------------|----------------|--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | 02:00 | Bert Weiss | “I didn’t watch too much Olympic like I kind of like fell off the table after Ryan Levier.” | | 03:05 | Bert Weiss | “It’s all about organic food, bro. That’s it. Give me a little organic food. The gold is mine.” | | 03:43 | Birch Host | “The trophies represent the past, but what’s out the window represents the future.” | | 03:51 | Host | “This is what has been. But Michelle Kwan asks herself, what could be.” | | 05:02 | Bert Weiss | “Most days I really spend just kind of like walking from room to room trying to figure out what I’m in the process of doing…” | | 05:12 | Intern Aaron | “Each morning Bert reintroduces himself to me as though it’s the first time we ever met… it’s like that movie Groundhog’s Day.” | | 05:26 | Jeff Doll | “Bert is gonna forget something really important…somehow he will screw it up and embarrass the Bert Show…” | | 05:59 | Bert Weiss | “Have you ever seen that movie Memento?...I live my life like that every single day.” | | 06:27 | Intern Aaron | “I’ll tell him that he’s actually approved things that truthfully, I never even asked him about.” | | 06:34 | Ben Hubbie | “Last year he made this hundred dollar bet with us. Still won’t pay off the bets.” | | 07:27 | Bert Weiss | “The problem is people can’t understand my pain. They don’t know what it’s like…” | | 08:24 | Bert Weiss | “If Stacy’s not with me, I spend more time in my day trying to figure out where I parked my car than I did in the actual meeting I just got out of.” |

Timestamps for Important Segments

• [02:00–03:15]: Winter Olympics viewing habits, new events, and humorous snowboarding commentary
• [03:12–04:27]: Satirizing NBC’s Olympic montages and media narratives
• [04:27–08:02]: Bert’s ‘Olympic montage’ and hilarious memory loss stories
• [08:21–08:45]: Lighthearted wrap-up, parking lot misadventures, and team banter

Summary & Takeaway

This episode is a comedic peek into how the Bert Show crew watches, critiques, and pokes fun at the Winter Olympics and the melodramatic storytelling of NBC athlete montages. Through playful satire, the team creates their own “Olympic montage” focused on Bert Weiss’s forgetfulness—with mock-serious narration and loving razzing from colleagues. Whether you love the Olympics or just the Bert Show’s brand of humor, you’ll enjoy stories of missing car keys, mistaken celebrities, and a gold-medal effort in everyday absent-mindedness.

“Burt Weiss: an inspiration. Burt Weiss: gold medal effort. Burt Weiss: gold medal memory loss.” (08:02, Narrator)