Vault: Bert's Olympic Montage

Summary

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The Bert Show – "Vault: Bert's Olympic Montage"

Date: November 4, 2025
Main Theme:
In this episode, the Bert Show crew dives into the fun, quirks, and melodrama of Winter Olympics television coverage—especially NBC’s penchant for athlete montages—before unveiling a tongue-in-cheek “Olympic montage” dedicated to host Bert Weiss’s infamous short-term memory problems. With classic Bert Show humor and banter, the team satirizes sports storytelling while offering a personal peek at their host’s daily challenges.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Olympic Viewing Habits and New Winter Sports (02:00–03:15)

• Bert Weiss admits to not watching much of the Olympics after Ryan Lochte's infamous incident, revealing flagging interest but notes new events catch his eye.
  • “I didn’t watch too much Olympic like I kind of like fell off the table after Ryan Levier.” (02:00, Bert Weiss)
• Ben Hubbie enjoys tuning in to whatever’s on, but isn’t enthralled by every sport:
  • “I couldn’t quite get into the cross country skiing…” (02:07, Ben Hubbie)
• Discussion of exciting modern events, like snowboard cross, where four racers compete head-to-head:
  • “Snowboarding cross thing where you have four people lined up and they’re all competing…that’s pretty awesome.” (02:24, Bert Weiss)
• Lots of playful ribbing and snowboarding lingo, poking fun at “The Flying Tomato” (Shaun White):
  • “It’s all about organic food, bro. That’s it. Give me a little organic food. The gold is mine.” (03:05, Bert Weiss)

2. Satirizing the NBC Olympic Montages (03:12–04:27)

• The team jokes about how NBC’s Olympic coverage features overly dramatic athlete montages.
  • “It’s really more fun to actually see these montages that NBC is putting together…than it is to watch curling.” (03:12, Bert Weiss)
• Mocking how every montage involves athletes staring longingly out the window or over trophy cases, symbolizing "the past" and "the future":
  • “The trophies represent the past, but what’s out the window represents the future.” (03:43, Host)
  • “This is what has been. But Michelle Kwan asks herself, what could be.” (03:51, Host)
• Ben Hubbie wants a “supercut” montage of all the dramatic head turns and window stares:
  • “Just the faces, just the turns, not the whole thing…all the retrospective looks…” (03:59, Ben Hubbie; 04:06, Burt Weiss)

3. Bert’s Own ‘Olympic Montage’: The Memory Loss Bit (04:27–08:02)

• The show transitions into Bert’s “Olympic montage,” parodying the genre with a mock-narrative of his legendary short-term memory struggles:
  • “Each day is a gold medal in short term memory loss. A recollection of anything that happened, in some cases, minutes beforehand.” (04:27, Narrator)
• Bert describes the daily confusion:
  • “Most days I really spend just kind of like walking from room to room trying to figure out what I’m in the process of doing because I can’t remember once I leave one room.” (05:02, Bert Weiss)
• Intern Aaron commiserates with tongue-in-cheek sadness:
  • “Each morning Bert reintroduces himself to me as though it’s the first time we ever met…for him, I guess it’s like that movie Groundhog Day.” (05:12, Intern Aaron)
• Jeff Doll, show co-host, nervously recounts booking interviews for Bert, knowing Bert will inevitably forget crucial details:
  • “Bert is gonna forget something really important…somehow he will screw it up and embarrass the Bert Show…” (05:26, Jeff Doll)
• Bert’s well-known pop culture slip-ups:
  • “If anything, I think you guys sexualized men. Cause I remember that video with all the dudes coming out of the elevator…” (05:45, Bert Weiss)
  • Cue: mistaken identity, thinks it's Tony Braxton; team corrects him, laughs ensue (05:54–05:59).
• Bert compares himself to the protagonist in Memento:
  • “Have you ever seen that movie Memento? That’s the movie that Rob Lowe is in…It’s about a dude that doesn’t have any short term memory. Not only is it Rob Lowe’s best work, but I live my life like that every single day.” (05:59, Bert Weiss)
• More playful backstabbing: Co-workers admit messing with him, pretending he approved things he never heard:
  • “I’ll tell him that he’s actually approved things that truthfully, I never even asked him about.” (06:27, Intern Aaron as Tracy Peluso)
• Ben Hubbie enjoys Bert’s memory foibles, recalling a never-paid $100 bet:
  • “Last year he made this hundred dollar bet with us. Still won’t pay off…” (06:34, Ben Hubbie)
• Revisiting a failed memory test, Bert is unable to recall the number “48” he was supposed to remember for a year ("I'm gonna go with the number 21…"):
  • [Clip replay] (07:09–07:15)
  • “The problem is people can’t understand my pain. They don’t know what it’s like. Did not have any short term memory whatsoever.” (07:27, Bert Weiss)
• Bert’s parking lot woes:
  • “I can’t think of the last time I parked my car and got out and didn’t have to walk around...with my keychain over my head, hitting my alarm button to try to locate where my car is.” (07:27, Bert Weiss)
  • “If Stacy’s not with me, I spend more time in my day trying to figure out where I parked my car than I did in the actual meeting I just got out of.” (08:24, Bert Weiss)

4. Lighthearted Banter Wrap-up (08:21–08:45)

• The team teases Bert about avoiding malls, since he spends more time searching for his car than shopping.
  • “No wonder you hate going to the mall and stuff… you’re in the mall for 45 minutes, you’re in the parking lot for 90.” (08:37, Host; 08:41, Ben Hubbie)

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

| Timestamp | Speaker | Quote / Commentary | |---------------|----------------|--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | 02:00 | Bert Weiss | “I didn’t watch too much Olympic like I kind of like fell off the table after Ryan Levier.” | | 03:05 | Bert Weiss | “It’s all about organic food, bro. That’s it. Give me a little organic food. The gold is mine.” | | 03:43 | Birch Host | “The trophies represent the past, but what’s out the window represents the future.” | | 03:51 | Host | “This is what has been. But Michelle Kwan asks herself, what could be.” | | 05:02 | Bert Weiss | “Most days I really spend just kind of like walking from room to room trying to figure out what I’m in the process of doing…” | | 05:12 | Intern Aaron | “Each morning Bert reintroduces himself to me as though it’s the first time we ever met… it’s like that movie Groundhog’s Day.” | | 05:26 | Jeff Doll | “Bert is gonna forget something really important…somehow he will screw it up and embarrass the Bert Show…” | | 05:59 | Bert Weiss | “Have you ever seen that movie Memento?...I live my life like that every single day.” | | 06:27 | Intern Aaron | “I’ll tell him that he’s actually approved things that truthfully, I never even asked him about.” | | 06:34 | Ben Hubbie | “Last year he made this hundred dollar bet with us. Still won’t pay off the bets.” | | 07:27 | Bert Weiss | “The problem is people can’t understand my pain. They don’t know what it’s like…” | | 08:24 | Bert Weiss | “If Stacy’s not with me, I spend more time in my day trying to figure out where I parked my car than I did in the actual meeting I just got out of.” |

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Timestamps for Important Segments

• [02:00–03:15]: Winter Olympics viewing habits, new events, and humorous snowboarding commentary
• [03:12–04:27]: Satirizing NBC’s Olympic montages and media narratives
• [04:27–08:02]: Bert’s ‘Olympic montage’ and hilarious memory loss stories
• [08:21–08:45]: Lighthearted wrap-up, parking lot misadventures, and team banter

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Summary & Takeaway

This episode is a comedic peek into how the Bert Show crew watches, critiques, and pokes fun at the Winter Olympics and the melodramatic storytelling of NBC athlete montages. Through playful satire, the team creates their own “Olympic montage” focused on Bert Weiss’s forgetfulness—with mock-serious narration and loving razzing from colleagues. Whether you love the Olympics or just the Bert Show’s brand of humor, you’ll enjoy stories of missing car keys, mistaken celebrities, and a gold-medal effort in everyday absent-mindedness.

“Burt Weiss: an inspiration. Burt Weiss: gold medal effort. Burt Weiss: gold medal memory loss.” (08:02, Narrator)

Transcript

[Adam Grant]

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[Birch Show Host]

The Birch Show.

[Burt Weiss]

I didn't watch too much Olympic like I kind of like fell off the table after Ryan Levier.

[Birch Show Co-host Ben Hubbie]

No, I will watch it. I don't care. Whatever's on, I will, you know, take a look at it. So this weekend the only time that I felt like, oh, I had to turn was I couldn't quite get into the cross country skiing, you know, because it wasn't quite thrilling. But, yeah, the. Whatever else is going on, I'll watch it. So I watched a little bit that.

[Burt Weiss]

Cross snowboarding thing they're doing now. Snowboarding cross thing where you have four people lined up and they're all competing against each other. That's pretty awesome.

[Birch Show Host]

It's like a race.

[Burt Weiss]

It's a race between all four.

[Birch Show Host]

That girl did the hot dog thing and killed it.

[Burt Weiss]

Yeah, she ended up losing. Yeah.

[Birch Show Co-host Ben Hubbie]

And the thing. And I really feel like the Winter Olympics are becoming. Besides the ice skating and ice dancing and that kind of thing is the X Games. Because this week you were seeing so many half pipes and, you know, slaloms and stuff like that that you'd only seen the X Games.

[Birch Show Host]

And there's that dude, the angry tomato or whatever his name is.

[Burt Weiss]

Flying Tomato.

[Hers Advertisement Narrator]

Yeah.

[Birch Show Host]

He's a snowboarder and he's so. He's.

[Burt Weiss]

Bro.

[Birch Show Host]

I was toes. So caught some air. It was awesome, bro.

[Burt Weiss]

It's all about organic food, bro. That's it. Give me a little organic food. The gold is mine.

[Birch Show Co-host Ben Hubbie]

So funny.

[Burt Weiss]

So we've been talking the last couple of days about how if you're watching the Winter Olympics, it's really more fun to actually see these montages that NBC is putting together of the athletes than it is to watch curling.

[Birch Show Co-host Ben Hubbie]

And yesterday. I wish I could remember what I. I laughed out loud. I forgot what. Ice skaters. A female ice skater, and they were doing her montage yesterday, and she wasn't on a porch looking over to what was going on. They had her sit in her room and had her look over toward her trophy case. But they always have to have a profile of these athletes looking off in the distance.

[Birch Show Host]

And then she turns and looks out the window because the trophies represent the past, but what's out the window represents the future.

[Birch Show Narrator/Announcer]

That's right.

[Hers Advertisement Narrator]

Yeah.

[Birch Show Host]

This is what has been. But Michelle Kwan asks herself, what could be.

[Birch Show Co-host Ben Hubbie]

I would like a montage. I would like a montage of just the faces, just the turns, not the whole thing. Just. Yeah, somebody NBC needs to turn just.

[Burt Weiss]

The retrospective looks that they give out.

[Birch Show Co-host Ben Hubbie]

The window because everybody has to have that.

[Burt Weiss]

So, again, these montages are all basically stories of overcoming insurmountable odds to be where they are today. So we have all put together our Winter Olympics montage. And today was my day for my Olympic montage.

[Birch Show Narrator/Announcer]

Burtweiss Gold medal memory problems. While most of us easily weave through our days and nights, we tend to take for granted our ability to recall memories from yesteryear, yesterday or even last hour. Your first kiss. Prom night. A conversation you had six minutes ago with a co worker. Most of these memories are easily reachable, but for Burt Weiss, each day is a gold medal in short term memory loss. A recollection of anything that happened, in some cases minutes beforehand.

[Burt Weiss]

Most days I really spend just kind of like walking from room to room trying to figure out what I'm in the process of doing because I can't remember once I leave one room.

[Birch Show Narrator/Announcer]

Birch show intern Aaron.

[Birch Show Intern Aaron]

It's so sad. I've been working at Q100 for close to three months now. And each morning Burt reintroduces himself to me as though it's the first time we ever met. For him, I guess it's like that movie Groundhog's Day. So sad.

[Birch Show Narrator/Announcer]

Bert show co host Jeff Doll.

[Birch Show Host]

You know, I book interviews for the Burt show with celebrities. And I always cringe because Burt is gonna forget something really important. Whether it's the name of the artist's first album or the movie they were in. Somehow he will screw it up and embarrass the Bird show in front of these high profile superstars.

[Burt Weiss]

If anything, I think you guys sexualized men. Cause I remember that video with all the dudes coming out of the elevator. That thing was kinda the elevator. Yeah.

[Birch Show Host]

Tony.

[Burt Weiss]

No, that's not Tony Braxton.

[Birch Show Intern Aaron]

Yeah, hello, Tony Braxton. What are you talking about? That's the wrong boy.

[Burt Weiss]

I am never gonna live that down. Have you ever seen that movie Memento? That's the movie that Rob Lowe is in. It's probably his best work ever. It's about a dude that doesn't have any short term memory. Not only is it Rob Lowe's best work, but I live my life like that every single day.

[Birch Show Narrator/Announcer]

And some members of the Burt show have not been quite as supportive. Birch show producer Tracy Peluso.

[Birch Show Intern Aaron]

Well, publicly I try and comfort him. But let me tell you, there's been.

[Hers Advertisement Narrator]

Quite a few times where I'll tell.

[Birch Show Intern Aaron]

Him that he's actually approved things that truthfully, I never even asked him about.

[Birch Show Narrator/Announcer]

Birch show co host Ben Hubbie.

[Birch Show Co-host Ben Hubbie]

I absolutely love the fact that he cannot remember a thing. Nothing has no memory. But he tries to fight it so much he gets so mad when he can't remember anything. You know what? Last year he made this hundred dollar bet with us. Still won't pay off the bets.

[Birch Show Host]

Hey Bert, what's your number?

[Burt Weiss]

48.

[Capital One Bank Guy]

Nice.

[Burt Weiss]

No, I'm doing that whole word of so I'm guaranteeing you now I will remember that number next year.

[Birch Show Narrator/Announcer]

Burt Weiss One year later what?

[Birch Show Host]

What number Burt Weiss, on December 16, 2004, were you requested to remember for $400?

[Burt Weiss]

I'm gonna go with the number 21. Let me play this. Audio and one up.

[Birch Show Host]

Hey, Bert, what's your number?

[Burt Weiss]

48.

[Adam Grant]

Nice.

[Burt Weiss]

No, I'm doing that whole word of. So I. I'm. I'm 40.

[Hers Advertisement Narrator]

Did I get my. Am I right?

[Burt Weiss]

The problem is people can't understand my pain. They don't know what it's like. Did not have any short term memory whatsoever. I can't think of the last time I parked my car and, like, got out of the restaurant and didn't have to walk around a parking lot with my keychain over my head, hitting my alarm button to try to locate where my car is.

[Birch Show Narrator/Announcer]

Burt Weiss, an inspiration. Burt Weiss, gold medal effort. Burt Weiss, gold medal memory loss.

[Hers Advertisement Narrator]

Does that happen to you?

[Birch Show Host]

Like, you really forget where you park your car? Every time.

[Burt Weiss]

Every time, dude. I mean, it's embarrassing. If Stacy's not with me, I spend more time in my day trying to actually figure out where I parked my car than I did in the actual meeting I just got out of. It's awful. It's awful. It's so frustrating.

[Birch Show Host]

No wonder you hate going to the mall and stuff, because you're in the mall for 45 minutes, you're in the.

[Birch Show Co-host Ben Hubbie]

Parking lot for 90. Yeah.

[Birch Show Host]

The Birch Show.

[Adam Grant]

Hey, it's Adam Grant from Ted's podcast Work Life, and this episode is brought to you by. ServiceNow. AI is only as powerful as the platform it's built into. That's why it's no surprise that more than 85% of the Fortune 500 companies use the ServiceNow AI platform. While other platforms duct tape tools together, ServiceNow seamlessly unifies people, data workflows, and AI connecting every corner of your business. And with AI agents working together autonomously, anyone in any department can focus on the work that matters Most. Learn how ServiceNow puts AI to work for [e-mail].

[Jeff Doll]

Morning, Zoe. Got donuts.

[Birch Show Intern Aaron]

Jeff Bridges, why are you still living above our garage?

[Jeff Doll]

Well, I dig the mattress, and I want to be in a T Mobile commercial like you. Teach me. So, Dana.

[Birch Show Intern Aaron]

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[Jeff Doll]

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[Birch Show Narrator/Announcer]

Nice.

[Birch Show Intern Aaron]

Jeffrey, you heard them.

[Jeff Doll]

T Mobile is the best place to.

[Birch Show Narrator/Announcer]

Get the new iPhone 17 Pro on.

[Burt Weiss]

Us with eligible traded in any condition.

[Jeff Doll]

So what are we having for lunch?

[Birch Show Intern Aaron]

Dude, my work here is done.

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