Vault: Birdhouse spy cam installed for 9:45am mystery man

Summary

The Bert Show Episode Summary

Episode Title: Vault: Birdhouse spy cam installed for 9:45am mystery man
Date: July 6, 2026
Main Cast: Bert, Kristin, Abby, Cassie, Tommy, Carl, Frankie, Renee, Jeff, Sue, Isaiah
Theme: Continuing the Mystery of the 9:45am Townhouse Visitor

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Overview of the Episode’s Theme

This episode dives into the ongoing investigation of a mysterious man who visits a townhouse every weekday at 9:45am, stays for about five minutes, and then leaves. The Bert Show team, together with their promotions member Frankie, discusses wild theories, updates the latest surveillance plan involving a birdhouse spy camera, and explores new angles—including listener theories—about the case.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Recap and Current Status of the Townhouse Mystery

• Listener’s Longstanding Curiosity: A listener observed a man visiting the same townhouse daily at 9:45am and requested the show's help to figure out his identity and purpose ([01:33]).
• Frankie’s Role: Frankie from the promotions department has become the main investigator, doing informal 'stakeouts' and collecting leads ([01:59]).

2. Spy Cam Plan: The Birdhouse Camera

• Obtaining Surveillance Equipment: The show connected Frankie with BigDaddySpy.com to acquire an infrared, heat- and motion-sensitive birdhouse camera ([02:18], [02:24]).
• Installation: Frankie confirms the plan to install the camera today, joking that it will coordinate with his “cat uniform” ([02:40], [02:44]).
• Camera Capabilities: The birdhouse is both motion and heat sensitive so they don’t have to watch endless footage ([02:51]).

3. Sustaining the Mystery: Theories and Speculation

• Is it Cats? Drugs? Weed Farm?
  • The original possible explanation was feeding stray cats, but the cast finds this unlikely ([01:12]).
  • Listeners and cast propose theories: secret drug operation, a weed farm (supported by “black spray paint on the windows in the basement”), or even an affair ([03:34], [05:09], [06:24]).
  • “They’re growing weed in there, dude.” – Renee ([03:34])
  • “There’s black spray paint on the windows in the basement.” – Jeff ([03:40])
• Listener Theories:
  • Isaiah calls to suggest, “I think it's a man going in to get drugs every morning before he goes to work. I've known people that do that.” ([04:50])

4. Cast Chemistry & Humor

• Playful Banter: The team teases each other about their knowledge of growing weed and drug paraphernalia.
  • “You guys sound like you know a lot about growing.” – Frankie ([04:00])
  • “You know, I picked up a copy of High Times in a doctor's office one time.” – Jeff ([04:04])
• Comic Reluctance to End the Story: Bert jokes, “I almost don’t want it to end because the theories are more fun than what’s really happening, I’m sure.” ([06:16])

5. The Suspicious Real Estate Agent

• Listener Renee’s Suspicion: Renee calls in to share her doubts about the real estate agent’s sincerity, alleging the agent is “in on this” and too evasive ([05:24]).
  • “If you're a real estate agent and you're told somebody is hanging out at a house that you're trying to sell, then you're gonna be invested in finding out who that person is.” – Carl ([05:53])
  • “She definitely knows who this is.” – Sue ([06:10])
• Affair Theory: The latest playful theory is that the agent and the mystery man are having an affair ([06:24]).

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Frankie on the spy gear:
  “Yeah, bigdaddyspy.com and I got a infrared, heat sensitive and motion sensitive birdhouse. That's funny.” – Frankie ([02:24])
• Carl, on camera motion detection:
  “So you don't have to watch 24 hours of nothingness?” ([02:51])
• Renee, on growing weed theory:
  “They're growing weed in there, dude.” ([03:34])
• Jeff, on magazine reading:
  “You know, I picked up a copy of High Times in a doctor's office one time.” ([04:04])
• Sue, suspecting the agent:
  “The lady wouldn't have said, oh, let me find out for you, and I'll call you back. She just said, get the hell away from my townhouse.” ([05:24])
• Bert, about the fun of theories:
  “I almost don't want it to end because the theories are more fun than what's really happening, I'm sure.” ([06:16])
• Frankie, on the possible agent affair:
  “I think that the real estate lady and that guy are having an affair.” ([06:26])

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Important Timestamps

| Timestamp | Segment Description | |-----------|---------------------------------------------------------| | 01:02 | Bert & Frankie recap the current status of the mystery | | 02:18 | Spy cam (birdhouse) discussion and procurement | | 03:34 | Theories: drug operation and weed farm rumors | | 04:50 | Listeners call in with additional theories | | 05:24 | Suspicion about the real estate agent’s motives | | 06:16 | Lighthearted reluctance to solving the case | | 06:24 | Affair theory is suggested |

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Tone & Atmosphere

The show maintains a laid-back, humorous, and engaging vibe, with the cast playfully exploring increasingly outlandish theories and poking fun at each other’s “knowledge” of illicit activity. Listeners are encouraged to call in and participate, generating a feeling of collective involvement in solving the quirky mystery.

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Summary Takeaway

This Bert Show episode is a classic example of the cast’s real, comedic, and slightly irreverent approach to a local oddity—turning a mundane suburban mystery into running entertainment. From birdhouse spy cams to wild urban legend speculation and playful accusations, the mystery endures, building anticipation for the next update on the elusive 9:45am visitor.

Transcript

[Commercial Announcer]

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All new drinks are now at McDonald's with refreshers like the Strawberry Watermelon Refresher and the Mango Pineapple Refresher with popping Boba. To crafted sodas like the Sprite Berry Blast with berry flavors and cold foam. Who knew ice cold drinks could be so fire six? All new drinks are here now at McDonald's.

[Carl]

Refreshers contain caffeine.

[Bert]

The Burt Show. Hey, Frankie.

[Frankie]

Hey.

[Bert]

In four years from now, you're still gonna be on with us, updating us on what's going on with this same damn dude.

[Frankie]

I'm playing it out. Sorry, guys.

[Bert]

When Frankie was on with us last week, he gave us the update that the owner of the home, who he's been in contact with, thought that the guy coming to visit may have been feeding some stray cats around. But we all discounted that because if you put a bowl of food out for one cat, 14 days later, you got 65 cats. And they every time a car runs down, comes down the road, they all run out looking for their food.

[Carl]

And this is all based on the story that we took weeks ago from a Birch show listener that has seen the same guy pull up to their townhouse community every single day, park in the same spot, and then walks behind the town house community, and then goes into one house for five minutes and then splits. And he does this like clockwork for months.

[Sue]

Right.

[Carl]

So our listener wanted to know who this dude was. So for weeks now, we've tried to piecemeal a story together with some facts, but haven't gotten anything concrete.

[Jeff]

And then we included Frankie, who works in our promotions department, to come in, and he's almost become kind of like a bounty hunter. He's done a stakeout.

[Bert]

He's embraced it.

[Jeff]

Yeah, he's totally embraced it. So he's the one giving us the updates, but he's actually talked to the guy, and like Jeff said, you know, the latest was that you contacted the real estate agent who owned that home.

[Frankie]

Yes.

[Bert]

And the last thing that we said to you is Bert put you in touch with. Is it bigdaddyspy.com?

[Frankie]

yeah, bigdaddyspy.com and I got a infrared, heat sensitive and motion sensitive birdhouse. That's funny.

[Commercial Announcer]

Awesome.

[Renee]

Hilarious.

[Carl]

Did you install the birdhouse over the weekend?

[Frankie]

Yeah, I think it'll go well with my cat uniform.

[Bert]

When does the birdhouse go in?

[Frankie]

I'll put it up. Probably sometime today.

[Bert]

Okay.

[Frankie]

If not, after I get off work.

[Carl]

So is it. Is it motion censored also so you don't have to watch 24 Hours of Nothingness?

[Frankie]

Yep. It's motion and heat sensitive.

[Carl]

Great. Okay.

[Bert]

That's fantastic.

[Carl]

I mean, it really only needs to be set for half an hour because he only stops by at 9:40 every single morning. So it only needs to be set between 9:30 and 9:45.

[Bert]

Well, we could leave it on to see if any of those thousands of cats who live there set it off.

[Renee]

I really hope this story turns out to be something because if it is basic, like he's an exterminator or something, like so simple, we're going to be so disappointed.

[Carl]

Exterminators can come every single day, though.

[Renee]

And a very overzealous exterminator, the real

[Carl]

estate agent, could have put us closer to an end to this. The real estate agent, I feel, knows who this guy is. And there's some kind of COVID up going on.

[Renee]

They're growing weed in there, dude.

[Frankie]

I want to know.

[Jeff]

That's what a lot of listeners think.

[Renee]

I think they are.

[Jeff]

There's black spray paint on the windows in the basement.

[Sue]

Do you have to water those plants every day?

[Renee]

He's checking on his stony plants.

[Carl]

It's fluorescent. We'll turn on those fluorescent lights every single day. He's just.

[Jeff]

Not that we know what we're talking

[Renee]

about, but we need to send Frankie with a drug dog.

[Bert]

He's making sure none of the stray cats tore the aluminum foil that cover the windows. That's what he's doing. So, Frank, you're going to put that in today?

[Frankie]

Yeah, yeah. You guys sound like you know a lot about growing.

[Bert]

Oh, no.

[Jeff]

You know, I picked up a copy of High Times in a doctor's office one time.

[Renee]

At the doctor's office.

[Frankie]

Really?

[Jeff]

It was a really good doctor.

[Carl]

Have you been interviewed in that magazine?

[Frankie]

A couple times.

[Renee]

The kind of doctor's office where they make you call them pipes or glass.

[Jeff]

It's illegal, people.

[Renee]

Glass.

[Jeff]

And it's a water. It's a water pipe.

[Renee]

A water pipe, not a bong.

[Bert]

And you know what? She's just trying to help her. Glaucoma.

[Jeff]

Exactly.

[Carl]

It's prescribed at very best. We'll have an update on Wednesday if you set it up.

[Bert]

If he sets it up today, we'll be able to see some video in a day or two from our infrared heat sensitive birdhouse camera.

[Sue]

Yes.

[Jeff]

Oh, my God.

[Commercial Announcer]

We have committed.

[Carl]

We have committed to this segment.

[Bert]

Hey, Sue. Welcome to the Birch Show.

[Sue]

Hey, what's going on?

[Isaiah]

I have a theory of it being. I can't answer the jacket thing quite yet, but I think it's a man going in to get drugs every morning before he goes to work. I've known people that do that. And they'll go to their dealer's house every morning, and then they'll, you know, use their drugs there and then leave.

[Renee]

But it's an empty house and.

[Sue]

And it's not on the weekends. He goes there only Monday through Fridays.

[Bert]

Well, maybe he's got a job that requires drugs before he goes to it. We can all understand that. Hey, Renee. Welcome to the show. Welcome to the show, Renee.

[Sue]

Hey, guys. Love the show. I was just telling Carl, though, I called him last week. Number one, you know, the real estate agent is in on this, because when he. When he first called up and said, hey, someone's watching, and blah, blah, blah, they're seeing this and that, the lady wouldn't have said, oh, let me find out for you, and I'll call you back. She just said, get the hell away from my townhouse. And, you know, I mean, there's just too much funny stuff going on. It's just weird. I mean, well, if you're a real estate agent, in 10 hours that he was feeding cats, and we can't even figure out who the guy is.

[Carl]

If you're a real estate agent and you're told somebody is hanging out at a house that you're trying to sell, then you're gonna be invested in finding out who that person is.

[Sue]

But you're not gonna be. You know, let me call you back, Frankie. I'll. She'll say, you get away from it, and I'll find out who this guy is or I'll call the cops or whatever.

[Renee]

Right.

[Sue]

She definitely knows who this is.

[Jeff]

She would have got a further description from Frankie, like, you know something.

[Carl]

Yeah.

[Jeff]

Yeah.

[Bert]

I almost don't want it to end because the theories are more fun than what's really happening, I'm sure.

[Carl]

I don't know in this case.

[Bert]

Isaiah, what's your thought?

[Frankie]

Hey, what's going on, guys?

[Bert]

Hey, what's up?

[Frankie]

Nothing. I think that the real estate lady and that guy are having an affair.

[Bert]

I think that's the story we go with, even if it is stray cats.

[Renee]

Yeah.

[Carl]

I mean, how? It's quick. That's not fun for the real estate agent for five minutes.

[Jeff]

Yeah, you can find somebody else. I mean, serious.

[Bert]

The bird show.

[Commercial Announcer]

All new drinks are now at McDonald's with refreshers like the Strawberry Watermelon Refresher and the Mango Pineapple Refresher with popping boba. To crafted sodas like the Sprite Berry Blast with berry flavors and cold foam. Who knew ice cold drinks could be so fire six? All new drinks are here now at McDonald's.

[Carl]

Refreshers contain caffeine.