The Bert Show – Vault: Birth Controlling Father

Release Date: December 8, 2025
Host: The Bert Show Cast (Pionaire Podcasting)
Main Guests: “Ashley” (pseudonym; voice disguised), listeners Lydia and TC
Main Theme: Navigating parental control over adult children’s personal choices, specifically a father’s insistence that his 20-year-old daughter start birth control

Episode Overview

This thought-provoking episode delves into the delicate and sometimes tense boundaries between parental authority and adult autonomy, centering on a listener’s real-life struggle. “Ashley,” nearing her 21st birthday, is feeling pressured by her father to get on birth control—despite being a legal adult and not sexually active—under threat of social restrictions. The Bert Show team and their listeners explore the issue from multiple perspectives, dissecting notions of trust, control, adult independence, and family dynamics. The discussion is lively, empathetic, and full of both humor and heartfelt advice, providing insights that resonate with young adults and parents alike.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Ashley’s Situation and the Parental Demand

[02:04–06:22]

• Ashley, 20 (almost 21), is a college student living at home for financial reasons.
• Her father insists she get on birth control, threatening to restrict her freedom (e.g., staying out late or going on vacations) if she refuses.
• Ashley is not sexually active and has health concerns about birth control due to family experiences.
• Her stepmother supports the father’s stance.
• Ashley feels mistrusted and infantilized, despite repeatedly emphasizing her responsibility and maturity.

Memorable Quote:

“You know, as a woman, I have the right to decide what goes in my body and what doesn't. And I think this should be one of the decisions.”
— Ashley (08:29)

2. Family Dynamics and Trust Issues

[04:17–05:08]

• The hosts explore the roots of Ashley’s father's mistrust.
• Ashley notes her cousins were “wild” at her age, which may color her father’s perception.
• Ashley describes her father and stepmother as not strictly conservative, but “very protective.”

Quote:

“I just think that they look at my cousins and see how they needed to be on it for, you know, certain reasons. And then they look at me and they'd be like, well, we want her to be on it just in case.”
— Ashley (04:39)

3. Boundaries, Independence, and Living at Home

[05:33–07:42]

• Hosts go back and forth: At 20, should Ashley (as an adult) have full autonomy, even if living at home?
• Ashley confirms her dad pays some bills but not tuition (she has a scholarship).
• She respects check-in routines out of courtesy, but feels taken advantage of regarding autonomy.

Quote:

“If you're living under your parents’ house, then you gotta live by their rules.”
— Host (11:16)

Counterpoint:

“You take a medication is not a rule. Not only do I think it's inappropriate, I think it's probably illegal.”
— Host (11:26)

4. Listener Call-Ins & Diverse Opinions

[08:58–13:17]

• Lydia shares her own experience being put on birth control at 16, but agrees that 20/21 is different.
• TC empathizes with Ashley’s dad, suggesting his controlling stance is a final act to hold onto his “little girl,” but advises Ashley to weigh independence vs. household rules.
• Some think Ashley needs to respect her dad’s wishes if he provides for her; others see the father’s demand as overreaching and possibly infringing on personal rights.
• The panel dismisses the advice to “fake” compliance to appease the father, insisting on mature, open confrontation.

5. Potential Solutions and Compromises

[13:17–16:55]

• The hosts and callers suggest:
  • Ashley compromise (e.g., agree to more conservative curfews or safe sex alternatives like condoms).
  • Ashley move out and regain financial and personal independence.
• But Ashley says she can’t afford to move out due to college and work constraints.

Remarkable Host Advice:

“Most have to go through it… you’re not a little girl anymore and you’re a young woman. That’s a tough conversation to have with your parents, but I think you’re at it.”
— Host (13:55)

“You’ve gotta face it like an adult in order for him to treat you like an adult.”
— Host (14:34)

6. Emotional Toll and Final Reflections

[14:37–17:04]

• Ashley feels hurt that her reliability is “rewarded” with increased control.
• She expresses doubt about negotiating with her father, fearing he won’t compromise.
• The hosts commend her maturity and urge her to advocate for herself, suggesting they’ll check back in after the weekend for updates.

Notable Quotes & Moments

• Ashley on bodily autonomy:
  “As a woman, I have the right to decide what goes in my body and what doesn't. And I think this should be one of the decisions.”
  — Ashley (08:29)

• On parental “rules”:
  “A rule is, call me before you use the car… Those are rules. You take a medication is not a rule. Not only do I think it’s inappropriate, I think it’s probably illegal.”
  — Host (11:24)

• On emotional strain:
  “It really hurts me that this is the way he’s rewarding me for it.”
  — Ashley (14:46)

• On compromise:
  “Generally you both are going to walk away happy and disappointed. But at least you can get some common ground. So what is the compromise here?”
  — Host (15:18)

• On parental protection vs. control:
  “He’s at his last point of trying to hold on to his little girl and he doesn't want to let her go.”
  — Listener TC (10:40)

Important Timestamps

• 02:04: Ashley introduces her issue (father demanding birth control)
• 04:39: Ashley discusses mistrust rooted in cousins’ behaviors
• 08:29: Ashley asserts her right to bodily autonomy
• 11:16–11:26: Hosts debate the legitimacy of “house rules” about taking medication
• 13:55: Host frames Ashley’s crisis as a coming-of-age moment
• 14:46: Ashley voices emotional hurt over her father’s refusal to recognize her maturity
• 16:19: Ashley expresses doubt over her father’s willingness to compromise

Episode Tone

The conversation is candid and supportive, blending empathy with tough love and honesty. The hosts maintain a light banter but take Ashley’s struggles seriously, ultimately empowering her with validation and pragmatic advice. The tone is real, relatable, and occasionally humorous, making a difficult subject approachable without diminishing its gravity.

Takeaways

• Family boundaries don’t always align neatly with legal adulthood.
• Trust and open communication are crucial, especially when independence and parental support intersect.
• Empowerment for young adults often means insisting on difficult but necessary conversations.
• There are no one-size-fits-all answers—each family’s dynamics and histories color these tough choices.

This episode is highly recommended not only for those navigating similar issues with parents, but also for parents learning to let go. The Bert Show’s open forum brings much-needed visibility and validation to struggles that many young adults face in silence.