Vault: Bitter Ball Interviews

Summary

The Bert Show Podcast Summary

Episode: Vault: Bitter Ball Interviews
Date: June 24, 2026
Hosts: The Bert Show Cast (Bert, Kristin, Abby, Cassie, Tommy, et al.)

---

Overview

This episode takes listeners inside the lively aftermath of The Bert Show's annual "Bitter Ball" event—Atlanta’s unorthodox singles party for the romantically unlucky-in-love. The hosts and intern Brandon share memorable, unfiltered, and frequently hilarious man-on-the-street interviews and stories from the night. The show highlights the party’s signature “bitter Twitter” feature, post-party personal ads, boozy antics, and the occasionally chaotic but always entertaining spirit of Bitter Ball.

---

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. The Bitter Ball Experience

• The hosts recap Saturday’s Bitter Ball, confirming it was a wild success with high energy, lots of flirting, and a packed dance floor at Primal.
• Host Chris: "People were lost their mind." (02:02)
• Bitter Ball stands out for its uninhibited environment—many attendees were embracing single life, seeking new flings, or just out for a good party.

The "Bitter Twitter"

• A unique party tool: guests could text messages to each other anonymously via assigned numbers, with all (slightly censored) messages displayed on big screens.
• Guest I: "If you saw someone hot across the bar that you wanted to talk to but were afraid to go up to him, you could send them a text message… and read it on this huge, huge, giant screen so everybody could see it. So it was really fun." (02:12–02:33)
• The feature contributed to several rendezvous—including one mid-party invitation (“Meet me by the exit at like, 12:30”), leading to whispered rumors and plenty of gossip.

The Photo Booth & Dance Floor

• DJ Nuke got plenty of shoutouts for “killing it” on the turntables. The photo booth started off mild but got "wilder" as the alcohol flowed.
• Attendees were “not that drunk yet” (01:31) in early interviews, but later segments reveal otherwise.

2. Post-Party Antics & Listener Participation

Personal Ads for the Heartbroken

• As guests left, the show team recorded impromptu personal ads, giving unlucky singles a chance at radio-delivered serendipity.
• Notes written to exes on a message board (“very entertaining to read”—Guest I, 04:36) showcased heartbreak, bitterness, and sarcasm.

Staff Stories: Intern Natalie’s Transformation

• Intern Natalie, usually buttoned-up and quiet at work, was notably “a different person when she has a cocktail or seven.” (05:45)
• Much laughter is shared about her modest drinking capacity and comic misadventures, including spilling her drink and “grinding on a brick wall, thinking that was a man or something.” (06:48–07:06)
• Host Chris: "If you're a drunk guy, that's your target though." (07:06)

3. The Interviews: Bitter, Blunt, & Boisterous

A series of quick, mostly inebriated exit interviews reveal the tone and characters of the night.

Brian: As Bitter as They Come (07:39–09:24)

• Memorable Quote:
  • "She's a liar whore, dude. Exactly, dude. She's a lion whore." – Brian on his ex-girlfriend. (08:17)
  • Asked about his fantasy: "Straight up freak. Like straight up not a freak. Like she wants to do everything and anything. Oh my God, I don't even care… Even if she's not under the influence, like she just want to do it. Pretty much exactly. Any girl that puts out." (08:31–09:04)
• Overall: Roaringly drunk, unfiltered, and honest, Brian becomes a running character throughout the recap.

Chris: The Disappointed Regular (09:58–11:54)

• Has attended other Bert Show events but struck out romantically, partly blaming himself and partly suggesting Atlanta doesn’t have enough “Russian and from Eastern Europe” women. (10:32)
• Ranks himself “Top 80” among the guys that night. (10:59)
• Struggles to recite his phone number on air: "Well, you already have it." (11:13)

Joe: Fighter Not a Lover (12:30–14:39)

• Angry, antagonistic, and convinced the interviewer is the party’s namesake (“Bitterball”), Joe gets progressively confrontational and confused.
• Reportedly tried to pick a fight with the bouncers and police outside.
• Memorable Exchange:
  • "How about Turner bird show some dog?" (12:51)
  • "Are the cops out front just watching?" (13:39)
• Host Chris: "This guy's starting to fight with you?" (13:17)

Behind-the-Scenes Humor

• Intern Brandon, “manning the exit,” shares how challenging coherent interviews were after midnight:
  • "Very difficult to get through an entire sentence that night, like two in the morning, people were drinking." (05:05)
• Running jokes about recurring event names and possible confusion with Bert’s Big Adventure and future Bitter Ball hashtags.

---

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Guest D: “Best Bitter Ball ever.” (02:00)
• Guest E / Brian: “She's a liar whore, dude. Exactly, dude. She's a lion whore.” (08:17)
• Host Chris (about “the ideal party target”): “That is the equivalent of like... when a lion sees like a wounded bird or something and instantly starts to pounce... That's when a girl is dancing with a wall and she thinks it's a guy. Other guys are like, that's my target right there.” (07:12)
• Interviewer: “He had to hang on to the back of my shirt just to stay upright for the two minutes that we were talking.” (12:16)
• Host Chris: “You know how there are some people that turn happy? Wendy's a happy drunk. This guy, Joe. Not a. Not a happy.” (12:22)

---

Key Segments & Timestamps

• [01:01] – Bitter Ball opening recap; first reactions from partygoers
• [02:12] – Bitter Twitter explained
• [04:36] – Post-party interviews & “letters to exes” segment
• [05:41] – Intern Natalie’s night & comic retelling
• [07:39] – Interview with Brian, the event’s most bitter single
• [09:58] – Interview with Chris, a regular Bert Show fan
• [12:30] – Confrontational post-event chat with Joe
• [14:41] – Nickname jokes and the intern’s rapid legacy at The Bert Show

---

Tone and Atmosphere

• The tone is irreverent, self-deprecating, and playfully chaotic—much like the event itself.
• Hosts deliver personal stories and commentary with warmth and comic exaggeration, often laughing at their own expense and marveling at the colorful cast of attendees.
• The interviews are candid, sometimes crude—but always real, embodying the podcast’s promise to be authentically engaging and “funny in the mess.”

---

Summary

If you love unpredictable radio, messy human drama, and a reminder that getting over heartbreak can be hilarious, this candid peek behind Atlanta’s quirkiest singles event is for you. From wild dance-floor antics and the creative “bitter Twitter” to unforgettable party personalities, The Bert Show recounts a night where being single is celebrated—and no one takes themselves too seriously.

“Bitter Ball: Where you may not find true love, but you’ll definitely leave with stories.”

Transcript

[Narrator]

Before Legally Blonde, before law school, Elle woods was in high school. Set in 1995, this Gemini vegetarian knows exactly who she is until her family moves from Bel Air to Seattle and turns her world upside down. Watch Elle navigate a new city, a new school, frenemies and crushes, all while staying true to herself. Packed with iconic fashion, 90s nostalgia and a throwback soundtrack, Elle proves one law school was hard. High school was harder. From the world of Legally Blonde, watch Elle, a new original series only on Prime Video. July 1st.

[Lowe's Advertiser]

This July 4th at Lowe's, get up to 45% off select major appliances. Plus save $80 on a select char broil performance series gas Grill. Now $299. Our best lineup is here at Lowe's. Lowe's, we help you Save valid through 7, 8, while supplies last selection varies by location. See Lowes.com for more details.

[Narrator]

Visit your nearby Lowe's.

[Host Chris]

You're on the Burt Show. Bitterball was a success on Saturday night.

[Guest D]

The bitter Twitter's the coolest.

[Guest E / Brian]

There's a lot of hot girls here. A lot.

[Guest D]

I don't know if I'm gonna find my dream guy tonight, but preferably hot and sexy would be good. She's very bitter. Well, we're both getting divorced, so. Feeling divorced. Bingo. Woohoo. Do you have a girlfriend or a wife? You find that in Atlanta a lot? She's a great kisser. I'm looking for a man, not a bo. There's a lot of cute guys here.

[Guest F / Joe]

All right.

[Guest D]

I just met her tonight. Just ran into each other. I like it. I like the energy. I think it's awesome. I'm so glad I came. We're not that drunk yet.

[Guest E / Brian]

Oh. Having a good time?

[Interviewer / Radio Host]

Real good time?

[Guest H / Chris]

Oh, yeah.

[Guest D]

Tall, dark and handsome. Tall, dark, and handsome. But I mean like real dark, tall, cute and smart. That's funny. It has to be funny. I want a really tall guy with really pretty eyes.

[Host Chris]

I get it.

[Guest D]

Best bitter ball ever.

[Host Chris]

It was a good time at Primal on Saturday night. People were lost their mind.

[Guest I]

It was a lot of fun and people definitely took advantage of the bitter Twitter, which I love.

[Host Chris]

Explain what that was.

[Guest I]

The bitter Twitter is where you had a text message. You can text message on your phone to a number and then you are assigned a number. So if you saw someone hot across the bar that you wanted to talk to but were afraid to go up to him, you could send them a text message to their number and say, hey, 1071, you're looking good tonight. And then you could respond back on the better Twitter. And read it on this huge, huge, giant screen so everybody could see it. So it was really fun.

[Host Chris]

It worked out really well. Cause as I was leaving, I heard one dude approach a girl that had, I guess, tweeted, like, meet me by the exit at like, 12:30.

[Guest J]

Oh, that's good right there. And after midnight, exit meet means you could be doing it in the car.

[Host Chris]

Exactly within 45 minutes.

[Guest J]

Exactly 45.

[Host Chris]

And I heard him say, like, he

[Guest J]

gotta get back in there before too.

[Host Chris]

I heard him say, I didn't think you were gonna show up. She's like, here I am. And that was all I needed to hear right there.

[Guest I]

That's cool.

[Host Chris]

So it worked out well.

[Guest I]

The dance floor was packed. DJ Nuke did a great job. He just so good on the ones and twos. And I can't wait to see the photo booth pictures, because, you know, they start off pretty tame, but then everyone gets a liquid confidence and meets somebody that they just want to like. Let's go take makeup pictures. And I would just want to see what. What happened in there.

[Host Chris]

I'm assuming the pictures are going to be up online if they're not already. Atlanta calm.

[Interviewer / Radio Host]

Yeah, I think they were up Sunday again. I think they were up Sunday.

[Host Chris]

They were. Okay.

[Guest J]

You know what? The only thing we have to remember this for next year is a couple people asked to function the Bitter Twitter, actually as a Twitter account, so the people who aren't at Bitterball can watch from afar.

[Host Chris]

Good idea.

[Guest J]

You know how we do for Burks Big Adventure. Like, if you want to follow along with Burt's Big Adventure, we're just gonna all be using the tag BBA10 so everything. So you could have it. Bitterball.

[Host Chris]

If you follow us, you could see our tweets from Burt's Big Adventure would be the same thing that we could do for Bitterball next year.

[Guest J]

Right? The dangerous thing is, like, next year, though, it'll be Bitterball 10 BB or Bitterball 11 BB 11, which is awfully close to BBA 11. And I don't think you want to mix up.

[Guest I]

Definitely get those confused.

[Guest J]

Hey, you, meet me by the exit in a half hour. I got something in the car for you.

[Guest E / Brian]

Dude, what's happening at Disney?

[Interviewer / Radio Host]

What did I donate to?

[Host Chris]

So what we do after Bitterball is generally as guys and women are walking out of there, you know, we'll say, look, if you didn't find anybody, why don't you go ahead and do, like, a personal ad right now, and we'll play it on the radio on Monday morning so you Know, if you didn't get lucky tonight at Mitterball, maybe you have better luck on Monday. And intern Brandon here was the one that held the mics on Saturday night.

[Interviewer / Radio Host]

Yeah, it was very entertaining. We also had the board where people could write notes to their exes as well. That was very entertaining to read some of the notes there as well. So I was manning the exit after people left Primal, a little inebriated with a lot to say. Some were angry, some weren't. And, you know, it was very interesting to hear some of these guys. And I had a couple of girls, too, with their remarks and for their personal ad.

[Host Chris]

Very difficult to get through an entire sentence that night, like two in the

[Guest I]

morning, people were drinking.

[Interviewer / Radio Host]

Nine o'.

[Guest F / Joe]

Clock.

[Interviewer / Radio Host]

It was difficult for some people coming in after the pre party. We had people coming in a little pregame in for bitter ball.

[Host Chris]

Intern Natalie and Wendy were getting it on pretty well.

[Guest I]

Do they knock it back now?

[Guest J]

Natalie is. You have to know our intern Natalie. I was not at Bitterball because I got to go to Syracuse. So I heard this morning just, you know, somebody's really hammered when they're described as Natalie. Like, when they add. When they stretch out somebody's name, like,

[Guest I]

ooh, did you see Natalie, like, you

[Guest J]

know, Jen has gone out. Hey, I saw Jen out. Oh, you did? Yeah, she. Jen, like, you know, that means she was really doing it up. So that's how Natalie was described. And Natalie normally just moves through the office. She's very quiet, very efficient, focus, head down, taking care of business. Just, you know, give her 1, 2, 3 on the list and it's done and done. Well, never hear, never see her. Just quiet, just moves around, takes care of business. But apparently she's a different person when she has a cocktail or seven.

[Host Chris]

Wendy's the one that got her all hammered.

[Guest I]

Well, she didn't have that much because Natalie's not a big drinker. So she doesn't go out and drink all the time or experience with getting drunk, quote, unquote drunk. I think she had maybe two or three drinks.

[Interviewer / Radio Host]

Oh, Lord.

[Guest I]

Three at max.

[Interviewer / Radio Host]

One was on you, wasn't it?

[Guest I]

One I bought her in the beginning and then of course, she spilt it back.

[Guest J]

No, literally didn't spill on you?

[Guest I]

Yeah, I did get a little down my dress.

[Host Chris]

Or rookie.

[Guest I]

Entire drink down my dress, but rookie had to wipe that up. That was. That was a shame.

[Interviewer / Radio Host]

It was definitely a strange experience because I was working the event for promotion, so I was sober the whole time.

[Host Chris]

That's no fun.

[Interviewer / Radio Host]

Well, it shows A lot about the ladies of Atlanta. One of my tweets to the bitter Twitter was, I'm sober, you're drunk. You just look at look like an idiot right now because some of these people, she was like grinding on a brick wall, thinking that was a man or something. I don't know.

[Host Chris]

But if you're a drunk guy, that's your target though.

[Interviewer / Radio Host]

I don't know. She probably has a reaction in a certain area right now because she was all up on the brain.

[Host Chris]

You know what that is? That is the equivalent of like have you ever seen those like National Geographic movies? Like when a lion sees like a wounded bird or something and instantly starts to pounce? Yeah, that's when a girl is dancing with a wall and she thinks it's a guy. Other guys are like, that's my target right there.

[Guest D]

Right.

[Host Chris]

Well, lucky ladies if you weren't there on Saturday night. And let's introduce you to Brian. Okay. Because he's still available.

[Interviewer / Radio Host]

What's your name, dude?

[Guest E / Brian]

I'm Brian. Polly. Sean.

[Interviewer / Radio Host]

Sean. So Brian, how was your time in Bitterball?

[Guest H / Chris]

Good.

[Guest E / Brian]

I couldn't have a better time.

[Lowe's Advertiser]

Okay.

[Interviewer / Radio Host]

What happen?

[Guest E / Brian]

I know a lot, man. We hit on some chicks, dude. Got some Mac on. Hell yeah. We got our back on. We hit on some chicks, we don't even know where we're going right now. For real, dude, you the.

[Interviewer / Radio Host]

What kind of girl do you look for, dude?

[Guest E / Brian]

For real? Any girl.

[Lowe's Advertiser]

Any girl?

[Guest E / Brian]

Nah dude, the ones that like me for real though. You know the girl that's not my ex girlfriend.

[Interviewer / Radio Host]

Any. What happened with your ex girlfriend, man?

[Guest E / Brian]

She's a liar whore, dude. Exactly, dude. She's a lion whore.

[Guest D]

Like most women.

[Guest E / Brian]

Like most women. There you go.

[Interviewer / Radio Host]

You have to pick one fantasy. What would it be?

[Guest E / Brian]

One.

[Guest F / Joe]

See?

[Guest E / Brian]

Nah dude, you ain't talking to me. You ain't talking to me. No hot ass guy, Catholic schoolgirl? Nah, I do with short skirt and the like. Yeah, flat. Nah, dude, straight up freak. Like straight up not a freak. Like she wants to do everything and anything. Oh my God, I don't even care. Even if she's not under the influence, like she just want to do it. Pretty much exactly. Any girl that puts out wants to do anything and everything.

[Interviewer / Radio Host]

We're doing this as a personal ad. So if you want, you can give out your phone number, post it with your pictures.

[Guest E / Brian]

678-622-5272.

[Host Chris]

Okay.

[Interviewer / Radio Host]

Can I take a picture for the website?

[Guest E / Brian]

Yeah, dude.

[Interviewer / Radio Host]

So Brian and his friend's picture will be up on the website.

[Guest E / Brian]

Cool.

[Interviewer / Radio Host]

With his phone yeah. After that, Brian proceeded to fall backwards into the street. I really had to escort him and his friends across the street like little school children.

[Host Chris]

Okay. I don't think we're gonna be able to even get past this Chris guy because he's just plain drunk. It's two minutes long, and I don't think we can take all two minutes of it.

[Interviewer / Radio Host]

Yeah, Chris was a little angry. Is this the guy who wanted to. I believe Chris is the one.

[Host Chris]

No, this is a different guy. That. The guy that got angry at you is Joe.

[Interviewer / Radio Host]

Okay, Chris. I believe Chris is one of the last ones I did of the night. Hammered.

[Host Chris]

Just done hammered.

[Interviewer / Radio Host]

Hey, what's your name?

[Guest H / Chris]

Chris.

[Interviewer / Radio Host]

Chris.

[Guest I]

Okay.

[Host Chris]

He couldn't even get past that. This is a Chris.

[Interviewer / Radio Host]

The sad part is I've seen Chris before at a couple of our events. He's a fan. He's probably listening right now. So consistent.

[Guest J]

Chris.

[Guest I]

Fist pump. Chris.

[Interviewer / Radio Host]

Chris. That was Chris at his worst, I think. What's your.

[Guest H / Chris]

Name's? Chris.

[Interviewer / Radio Host]

Chris. Okay. Did you meet any girls here?

[Guest H / Chris]

No. No.

[Interviewer / Radio Host]

What happened?

[Guest H / Chris]

No. Well, that's probably my fault. But, hey, if they didn't, I probably wouldn't have been anyhow because, hey, they were asking too many questions.

[Interviewer / Radio Host]

What's your ideal type of girl?

[Guest H / Chris]

My ideal type of girl is, well, Russian and from Eastern Europe, and that's not gonna happen here in Atlanta. That's okay. But, hey, what.

[Interviewer / Radio Host]

Okay.

[Guest H / Chris]

Hey, I don't care what you say, because I know you're here just for that.

[Interviewer / Radio Host]

Where would you rank yourself in terms of the guys here tonight?

[Guest H / Chris]

Top 80.

[Interviewer / Radio Host]

Top 80. Okay. Okay. We're doing a personal type thing on the website, so if you want any thoughts, your phone number will take a picture. I'm gonna put it on the website. So what's your phone number?

[Guest H / Chris]

All right, My phone number is.

[Guest J]

Oh, my God.

[Guest H / Chris]

Well, you already have it.

[Interviewer / Radio Host]

I don't have it.

[Guest H / Chris]

No, somebody has it.

[Interviewer / Radio Host]

Okay.

[Guest H / Chris]

My owner is 6, 7, 8, 3 and 52 8. Wait, hold on. 3 and 5, 2, 3.

[Guest E / Brian]

I don't know.

[Guest H / Chris]

And Brent knows it. Don't you know, Brent? Brent knows it. He knows it.

[Interviewer / Radio Host]

Any closing comments about tonight?

[Guest H / Chris]

The closing comments I know about tonight is that I'm going to be in

[Interviewer / Radio Host]

the

[Guest H / Chris]

Owen Wilson movie.

[Guest F / Joe]

Okay?

[Guest H / Chris]

And you know what? People, you know, they, you know. Well, they. Actually, no one does anything about this. I'll be. You know, Brett,

[Interviewer / Radio Host]

this guy is.

[Guest I]

I am shocked he didn't hook.

[Guest H / Chris]

No, it's not.

[Guest E / Brian]

Okay, I'm taking.

[Guest F / Joe]

That's cool.

[Interviewer / Radio Host]

Okay, thank you.

[Narrator]

Wow.

[Interviewer / Radio Host]

He had to hang on to the back of my shirt just to stay upright for the two minutes that we were talking.

[Host Chris]

You know how there are some people that turn happy? Wendy's a happy drunk. This guy, Joe. Not a. Not a happy.

[Interviewer / Radio Host]

No, not at all. Not at all. What's your name?

[Guest F / Joe]

Joe.

[Interviewer / Radio Host]

Joe, what happened tonight, Bitterball?

[Guest F / Joe]

It don't matter to me, dog.

[Interviewer / Radio Host]

Okay, what happened, though? How was your time in bitterball?

[Guest F / Joe]

My bitter ball was tight, man.

[Interviewer / Radio Host]

Okay.

[Guest F / Joe]

Hey, you know what? They want some. Get some dog.

[Interviewer / Radio Host]

I mean, that's you and the cops.

[Guest F / Joe]

Are you the dude on bitter ball? What's your name?

[Interviewer / Radio Host]

No, I'm Brandon. I work with the bird show. 1 200.

[Guest F / Joe]

You work with a bird show?

[Interviewer / Radio Host]

Yeah, the morning show.

[Guest F / Joe]

How about Turner bird show some dog?

[Interviewer / Radio Host]

I don't think so. I don't think so. So you. You had an overall good time?

[Guest F / Joe]

Yeah.

[Interviewer / Radio Host]

Okay.

[Guest F / Joe]

You think better? You think better? Ball want to get some?

[Interviewer / Radio Host]

No, I don't think so. I don't think so.

[Guest F / Joe]

Better ball want to talk?

[Guest D]

What?

[Guest F / Joe]

Yeah.

[Guest E / Brian]

So.

[Interviewer / Radio Host]

So back next year. Are you serious? Are you gonna have girls by now?

[Guest E / Brian]

Are you serious?

[Host Chris]

This guy's starting to fight with you?

[Interviewer / Radio Host]

Yeah, yeah, he's. He got tossed out of the club,

[Guest J]

so he thought you were, like, with the club or with the.

[Interviewer / Radio Host]

I don't know, but my name. The name tag that I had that we get tags when we're working the event had bitterball on it, so I think he thought my name was bitterball.

[Guest D]

Oh, shit.

[Interviewer / Radio Host]

He was that hammered.

[Guest J]

So this is your party, and he got thrown out of your party, so now he's gonna.

[Interviewer / Radio Host]

Yeah, now he's gonna take out all this.

[Guest J]

Are the cops out front just watching

[Interviewer / Radio Host]

and they're laughing and. I mean, they kicked him out. They threw him down the street. So I went to go interview him, and they were having a ball.

[Guest D]

They.

[Interviewer / Radio Host]

They tried to start a fight with him as well because he wanted to fight them with the cop. Yeah, the cops were like, hey, if you want some, you can come get some from us. And then that's where he got that you want some mentality was trying to fight the cops. Lucky, lucky ladies. Serious Bitter balls. Hey, Bitter balls being for real. Smash it. What kind of girls do you normally go for? What's your ideal fantasy with any woman?

[Host Chris]

Wow.

[Guest F / Joe]

Tell you what, you're trying to make it bitter ball.

[Interviewer / Radio Host]

Ha ha ha.

[Guest F / Joe]

For real. You like, like, funny thing. You know what?

[Interviewer / Radio Host]

We're just doing interviews.

[Guest F / Joe]

You want to know what? Not bitter ball, for real. What? And it ain't me, boy.

[Interviewer / Radio Host]

Okay. Thank you.

[Host Chris]

Pretty sure what?

[Interviewer / Radio Host]

At least you didn't call me Mahogany. So he called me boy.

[Guest E / Brian]

What?

[Guest J]

I don't know what your nickname is going to be now. It's gonna be Mahogany or is it gonna be Bitterball?

[Interviewer / Radio Host]

I don't know. I was called Butterball as a child, but Bitterball works too.

[Guest J]

You've got more classic nicknames in your six weeks working with the show than any intern.

[Interviewer / Radio Host]

Gotta be known for something.

[Host Chris]

Now, listen, it's the Vert show.