Vault: Call-ins about gifts listeners received because of partner's mistake

Summary

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The Bert Show – Vault: Call-ins about gifts listeners received because of partner's mistake

Date: July 2, 2026
Hosts: The Bert Show Cast (Bert, Kristin, Abby, Cassie, Tommy & more)
Theme: Listeners share the gifts they received after their partners made memorable mistakes, focusing especially on forgotten birthdays. The crew discusses the art (and humor) of "making it up" with gifts, and listeners call in with their funniest, most extravagant examples.

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Episode Overview

This lively episode dives into real-life stories from listeners who scored impressive (and sometimes unexpected) gifts as a result of their partners' slip-ups. From forgotten birthdays to mix-ups with exes, the cast and callers share anecdotes packed with humor, irony, and relationship wisdom. The hosts blend playful banter with some genuine relationship advice, offering both laughs and empathetic insights.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Kicking It Off: The Photoshop Apology Story

[01:32 – 02:36]

• The episode opens with a recap of Jennifer’s issue from the previous day: her husband photoshopped bikini vacation photos to make her look thinner and posted them on Facebook without telling her.
• Jennifer confronted him, received an apology, and—making the most of the situation—asked for a bracelet she’d been eyeing as a peace offering.
• Quote:
  "She has turned this situation... I'm not saying he was right in the beginning. I'm just saying that I think that women know what they're doing and can steer the UPS truck right up their driveway to bring them a gift." – Radio Host 2 [02:37]

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2. Caller Stories: Scoring Big After Partner Mistakes

A. Joni's Convertible Mustang

[03:00 – 05:14]

• Joni recounts how her husband forgot her birthday, even after her hints stopped a week prior (to see if he’d remember).
• After her daughter reminded the family, the husband was mortified. Joni waited weeks before dropping hints that she might just get herself a new car.
• Ultimately, she picked out a hot convertible Mustang as her birthday reparation.
• Notable Exchange:
  Radio Host 4: "So he got you a car to make up for not remembering your birthday?"
  Joni: "He had to, because I went to the dealership and I picked out the car, and I called him and I said, you need to get up here right away because this is my birthday gift." [04:56]
  Joni: "And I picked out the hottest convertible Mustang they had on the line." [05:08]

B. The "Carat" Diamond Upgrade

[06:25 – 07:34]

• Next, Terry shares her story of forgotten birthdays. Her husband is gently roasted for slacking on reminders.

• Upon forgetting their anniversary, he’s told directly: "it would cost him a carrot," referring to the diamond upgrade she desired.

• Memorable Moment:
  Caller: "Now. He didn't ask what he could do to make up for it. I just promptly told him that it would cost him a carrot. Cause I had been wanting my diamond ring." [07:11]

• Four years into marriage and he "never forgets now."

C. Why Don’t Women Remind Us?

[07:57 – 08:30]

• Taylor, a male caller, asks the central question: "Why do women not remind us that it's their birthday?"
• Hosts debate whether it's fair to expect reminders and rib men for being absent-minded.
• Quote:
  "Why don't you guys pick one? You can either have Valentine's Day anniversary or birthday. We'll remember one of them." – Radio Host 2 [08:30]

D. The Ultimate Mix-up: The Ex-Wife's Birthday Dinner

[09:08 – 09:54]

• Karen calls in with a story about her stepfather accidently celebrating his ex-wife’s birthday instead of her mother’s (setting the romantic dinner on the wrong month).
• The fallout: her mom received a 2-carat diamond ring out of guilt, but eventually, after finding out the stepfather was still in touch with his ex, a divorce followed.
• Notable Summary:
  "A two karat ring and a nice big divorce." – Radio Host 3 [09:57]

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Hosts’ Banter: Playful, Honest, and Relatable

• The hosts riff on "training" partners, the responsibilities of memory in relationships, and the evolution of expectations in the age of smartphones.
• Highlights:
  "In the age of smartphones, there's no reason to forget a birthday. Smartphones are made for dumb guys." – Radio Host 4 & 2 [07:47 & 07:51]

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Memorable Quotes & Moments

• On Apology Gifts:
  "You can steer the UPS truck right up their driveway to bring them a gift." – Radio Host 2 [02:37]
• On Relationship Training:
  "See, training him like a dog." – Radio Host 4 [07:29]
• On Mistakes and Payoffs:
  "A two karat ring and a nice big divorce." – Radio Host 3 [09:57]
• On Partner Reminders:
  "You don't even believe what you're saying because you have a smirk on your face as you're saying it." – Radio Host 4 [08:22]
• On Male Forgetfulness:
  "Why do women not remind us that it’s their birthday?" – Caller Taylor [07:59]

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• Photoshop Apology & Bracelet Debrief: 01:32 – 02:36
• Joni’s Forgotten Birthday & Convertible: 03:00 – 05:14
• Diamond Upgrade Birthday Story: 06:25 – 07:34
• "Why Don’t Women Remind Us?": 07:57 – 08:30
• Ex-Wife’s Birthday Fiasco/Divorce: 09:08 – 09:54

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Conclusion

This episode of The Bert Show offers a humorous, sometimes scathing look at how mistakes (especially forgetfulness) can turn into unexpected windfalls for the wronged party. With quick-witted banter and stories ranging from relatable to outrageous, the hosts and their callers shine a comedic spotlight on the art of turning lemons into luxury birthday gifts—and occasionally, self-indulgent revenge.

Transcript

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[Radio Host 2]

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[Show Announcer]

This is the Burt Show.

[Radio Host 2]

We talked to Jennifer yesterday and she was upset because her husband photoshopped pictures and put them on Facebook. Photoshopped her skinnier without telling her.

[Radio Host 3]

Yeah, they had been on vacation and he put these skinny bikini pictures up and she just put her regular bikini pictures up. And so it was really ticked off because people on Facebook were making fun of her and were lining up the pictures side by side. So she was really mad. She went home last night and got her apology that she wanted.

[Radio Host 2]

If he was smart, he would have just said, I didn't photoshop anything. I just think that the computer that I downloaded the pictures on.

[Caller 1]

Oh, right.

[Radio Host 2]

You know, it's a skinnier computer because that's believable.

[Radio Host 4]

Oh my God. So like in a fun house.

[Radio Host 2]

So when Jennifer called us today. Yeah. She said that basically she sat down with her husband and said, hey, you know, you really hurt my feelings. And he apologized and he took the pictures down, but she didn't let it rest. He really, really hurt my feelings.

[Radio Host 3]

And he said, can I do anything

[Radio Host 4]

to make it up to you?

[Radio Host 3]

Exactly. And she's like, well, in fact, there's this bracelet I've been wanting. And she proudly was getting it for her.

[Radio Host 2]

Yeah. She proudly declared, well, I want a bracelet.

[Radio Host 4]

Right.

[Radio Host 2]

And so she has turned this situation. I'm not saying that he was right in the beginning. I'm just saying that I think that women know what they're doing and can steer the UPS truck right up their driveway to bring them a gift.

[Radio Host 3]

Well, it's cause guys aren't smart, so

[Radio Host 4]

you got to take advantage of that.

[Radio Host 3]

Men being simple, sometimes we can.

[Radio Host 2]

Hey Joni, how are you?

[Caller 1]

I'm fine. How are you?

[Radio Host 2]

Good. You're going to be the first of a few calls. Husbands forget the birthday turns into big payout.

[Caller 1]

Yeah, he did. He forgot my birthday. Woke up that morning and I had been given hint and he's a good person. He's just absentminded. I have been giving him for like a week ahead of time. And then I stopped all of a sudden. I didn't say anything else about my birthday. And then like three days later my birthday comes and I go all day. I didn't say a word. Nobody said a word. That night I came home and my daughter said, mommy, happy birthday. Happy birthday.

[Radio Host 2]

Was he in the.

[Caller 1]

Was he looked around. I'm sorry, I was just.

[Radio Host 2]

Was he in the room when your daughter said that?

[Caller 1]

Uh huh. He looked around and he was like, it's your birthday? Oh no. Yeah. I said, yeah, just all day, you know.

[Radio Host 3]

Oh my goodness. So what did he do?

[Caller 1]

He just kind of looked really strange. He had this really, really red look on his face. And I just like walked on around and he was just moping and saying, oh, I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry I forgot your birthday. I'm sorry. What can I do? I said, well, nothing now. I'll just wait. So I just soaked it in for about a good month. And a friend of his was over to the house and he says, what? Whatever became of your birthday? I said, oh, nothing. I was just looking online, looking at cars and things and I said, I think I might get me a car. My husband Says, no, you don't need a car right now. We really don't need to be spending that extra money. I was like, oh, yeah, I do need a car right now. I think I do.

[Radio Host 4]

So he got you a car to make up for not remembering your birthday?

[Caller 1]

He had to, because I went to the dealership and I picked out the car, and I called him and I said, you need to get up here right away because this is my birthday gift.

[Show Announcer]

Now, did you.

[Radio Host 3]

Dang.

[Caller 1]

And I picked out the hottest convertible Mustang they had on the line.

[Radio Host 2]

Now, did you intentionally stop mentioning your birthday a week out in order to force him into forgetting it?

[Caller 1]

Not really, but I just wanted to kind of. I just wanted to let everybody just say, okay, you know, she does everything for everybody. She remembers everybody's birthday all the time. Let's just do too selfie for her.

[Radio Host 4]

Now, see, she. Yes, you do that. Especially on the day. Like on your birthday, if the person doesn't, you know, immediately say something, then you just, okay, well, I'll just wait it out. How long it takes.

[Radio Host 2]

Wait it out until I'm at the Ford dealership.

[Radio Host 3]

Jeff said, did you purposefully not mention it so he would forget it? That's his job to remember.

[Radio Host 2]

She just said that she was giving

[Radio Host 3]

his job to remember.

[Radio Host 1]

Three weeks.

[Radio Host 3]

His wife's birthday.

[Radio Host 2]

For three weeks leading up to it, she was talking about it, but then she stopped a week out.

[Radio Host 3]

Yeah, but so what? He should still remember it.

[Radio Host 2]

She falsely gave him the confidence that she would remind him.

[Radio Host 3]

Stop it. He should have been planning it on three weeks, Remy.

[Radio Host 2]

She spent three weeks letting him.

[Radio Host 3]

That's his. Then he should have been planning it. He equals dumbass.

[Radio Host 2]

She spent three weeks letting him know that I'll remind you of my birthday.

[Radio Host 3]

He is the square root of idiot.

[Radio Host 2]

Hey, Terry. Welcome to the bird show. Hey, how are you?

[Caller 1]

I'm good.

[Radio Host 2]

How did you scam your man?

[Radio Host 4]

Hey, well.

[Caller 1]

Hey, hey, watch it.

[Caller 2]

I didn't scam him.

[Caller 1]

He forgot my birthday.

[Radio Host 3]

Exactly.

[Caller 1]

We were. We were sitting on the couch watching tv, and I kept looking at him like, hello. You know, are you gonna say anything?

[Caller 2]

And he. And he finally looks at me.

[Caller 1]

He goes, what's the matter with you? He goes, what did I, like, forget an anniversary or something? Oh, my God. I started bawling. I just started crying. I go, you forgot my birthday. Now. He didn't ask what he could do to make up for him. I just promptly told him that it would cost him a carrot. Cause I had been wanting my diamond ring.

[Radio Host 1]

Nice.

[Radio Host 3]

It would cost him A carrot.

[Caller 2]

And he did.

[Radio Host 3]

How long have y' all been together at this point? When he forgot your birthday?

[Caller 1]

About four years. We'd been married four years.

[Radio Host 3]

Inexcusable.

[Radio Host 4]

Yeah, agreed.

[Radio Host 2]

Now, before you.

[Caller 1]

Now he doesn't forget. He's like, oh, somebody's got a birthday coming up.

[Radio Host 4]

See, Training him like a dog.

[Radio Host 3]

Now the birth, the birthday, it'll only cost him a carrot once.

[Radio Host 2]

The birthday that he forgot. How many days before that birthday did you last bring up your birthday?

[Caller 1]

I never do.

[Radio Host 3]

See, See?

[Caller 1]

Hey.

[Caller 2]

He doesn't expect me to forget his

[Caller 1]

and I never do.

[Radio Host 2]

Because you're.

[Radio Host 4]

Look, in the age of smartphones, there's no reason to forget a birthday.

[Radio Host 2]

To be honest, smartphones are made for dumb guys.

[Radio Host 4]

Yes, absolutely.

[Radio Host 2]

Hey, Taylor. Welcome to the bird show.

[Caller 1]

Hey, how's it going?

[Radio Host 3]

Good.

[Radio Host 2]

What's going on?

[Caller 1]

Why do women not remind us that it's their birthday?

[Radio Host 1]

Thank you.

[Radio Host 3]

Why do we have to?

[Caller 1]

Some guys are absent minded.

[Radio Host 2]

Yes.

[Caller 1]

We need a little bit of encouragement and reminder.

[Radio Host 3]

You're just ever. That is your job.

[Caller 1]

That one woman gave him three weeks.

[Radio Host 3]

Three weeks.

[Radio Host 4]

You said she get planted at the

[Caller 1]

mall getting the gift.

[Radio Host 3]

It should be done wrapped in a nice little bow.

[Radio Host 4]

This guy you, you love Jeff. And so why are you encouraging? You don't even believe what you're saying because you have a smirk on your face as you're saying it.

[Show Announcer]

Come on.

[Radio Host 2]

Why? I'm just curious. Why don't you guys pick one? You can either have Valentine's Day anniversary or birthday. We'll remember one of them.

[Radio Host 4]

Do you want to have sex more?

[Radio Host 2]

You guys remind us of the other two right now.

[Radio Host 4]

Did you hear what I said? No, I'm not talking to you. Come on now. But I know it's before 8:30, but if you want to have a nice private life, then you'll remember every day.

[Radio Host 2]

Kara is going to be the last phone call that we're going to take. And there's this cannot be topped. This guy will go. This guy. I'm gonna have to separate myself from him. We are different characters. We are different breeds of guys. Because I don't even know if I would make this mistake. Okay, go ahead, Karen.

[Radio Host 4]

Wow.

[Caller 2]

This actually happened to my mother. She got married in January to my stepdad. And in May she came home from work one day and he had cooked this huge dinner and she was like, what's the occasion? Cause he had candles out and everything. And he was like, it's your birthday. And she was like, no, my birthday is in octo. And come to find out it's his ex wife's birthday.

[Caller 1]

No.

[Radio Host 3]

Oh no.

[Radio Host 4]

What did she get out of it

[Radio Host 2]

that turned into something good?

[Radio Host 3]

Yeah. What did she get?

[Caller 2]

Well, she originally had a half carat wedding ring and he ended up going and buying her a two carat ring and everything and she just, she was so mad and come to find out he had actually been talking to the ex wife so they got divorced.

[Radio Host 4]

But oh, she got a nice big divorce out of it.

[Caller 2]

Yeah, that's what she got.

[Radio Host 3]

A two karat ring and a nice big divorce.

[Radio Host 4]

And a nice big divorce.

[Radio Host 3]

Wow.

[Caller 1]

Wow.

[Radio Host 2]

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