Vault: Callers Share How They Busted Their Grandparents Smoking

Summary

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Podcast Episode Summary

The Bert Show – “Vault: Callers Share How They Busted Their Grandparents Smoking”

Host: Pionaire Podcasting
Date: February 2, 2026
Cast: Bert, Kristin, Abby, Cassie, Tommy, and callers

Main Theme & Purpose

In this lively episode, The Bert Show delves into an unexpectedly hilarious and heartwarming topic: listeners' stories about discovering their grandparents smoking weed. The goal is to share laughs and relatable, often surprising anecdotes, while exploring shifting generational attitudes toward marijuana—especially among seniors. The tone is playful, irreverent, and authentic, as hosts and callers joke about social norms, legality, and family dynamics.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Setting the Scene: “Should Seniors Get a Pass?”

Timestamps: 00:00–01:17

• Bert and the crew open by inviting listeners to call in if they've caught their grandparents smoking weed.
• They riff on classic “That ’70s Show” imagery, imagining elderly folks in a smoky circle.
• A recurring joke develops: “If you're over 65, shouldn't you be able to smoke weed legally?”

Bert (00:55): "Harold, you're fine to drive. Let's go get some Pringles and green."
Kristin (01:12): "Kids don’t do it... with cataracts."

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2. Callers Share Hilarious Grandparent Stories

A. Stoner Monopoly in the Closet

Timestamps: 01:21–03:18

• Jessica describes vacationing with her boyfriend when they accidentally discover “Stoner Monopoly” in his grandparents’ closet.
• The Monopoly pieces include tiny bongs and wraps, which grandma claims was a wedding joke.
• That evening, the grandparents nonchalantly light up in front of the family, trying to disguise joints as “cigars.”

Jessica (02:04): "All the little pieces look like different accessories you can use for getting stoned."
Jessica (02:49): "My boyfriend was like, wow, Grandpa, can I have a little hit of your cigar? And he was like, no, no, no. This is a little bit too strong for you."

B. Card Games and a Blunt at Grandma's

Timestamps: 03:27–04:50

• Chad shares that he regularly visits his grandmother’s card parties, usually assuming the older folks are just tipsy.
• One night he finds grandma and about 20 fellow seniors openly sharing a blunt.
• When he jokes about joining in, his grandmother sends the “kids” to the back room.

Chad (04:14): "Granny, can I get a hit? And she was like, oh, no, honey, you too young for this. Little kids go back to the back room."

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3. Growing (and Accidentally Watering) Pot Plants

Timestamps: 05:08–07:09

• Elizabeth recalls her green-thumbed grandfather growing a pot plant that overtook the entire side of the garage.
• A police officer visits the property, obliviously urinates on the huge plant thinking it’s innocuous, and leaves without noticing the marijuana.

Elizabeth (06:28): "I see my grandfather point to the side of the garage and the cop walks over there... he pulls on the zipper and he's taking a leak all over these plants."

Bert (07:00): "There has to be a best cop, and there has to be a worst cop. And that's the worst cop ever on the force right there."

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4. Senior Living: The High Life

Timestamps: 07:11–08:35

• Amber, an activities director at a luxury senior community, tells of finding not one but two residents smoking in their apartments after a fire alarm.
• The average age in her facility: 84.
• The hosts joke about seniors attempting to hide the odor with college-style dryer sheet tricks.

Amber (07:53): "They are anywhere from 62 and up, but the average is like 84."

Kristin (08:18): "If you’re 65 or older and you’re not hurting anybody else, you think you should legalize that?"

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Bert (00:37): "I just got an image of, like, everybody at the nursing home out and the one guy who still owns a car, like the 1972 Cadillac with a big old choke wagon, all the windows rolled up, they're all hanging out."
• Chad (04:44): "It is like that little, that 70s show circle except there's a whole bunch of 70-year-old people all in a circle smoking."
• Kristin (08:30): "They were 84. They are. Come on. 84 is a tough time to be living. So let them do it."

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Important Segment Timestamps

• 00:00–01:17 – Hosts set up the topic and joke about senior smokers
• 01:21–03:18 – Jessica’s “Stoner Monopoly” discovery
• 03:27–04:50 – Chad’s card game revelation
• 05:08–07:09 – Elizabeth’s story of the clueless cop
• 07:11–08:35 – Amber’s high-end senior home tales

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Episode Flow & Takeaways

The episode delivers a steady stream of genuine, funny listener stories, consistently lighthearted and non-judgmental. The cast creatively riffs on each call, poking fun at stereotypes while also expressing empathy for older generations enjoying life on their own terms. Key takeaways include:

• Attitudes toward marijuana are changing, even among the older generation.
• Grandparents can still surprise you with their openness—or their attempts to hide it.
• The generational divide on weed is closing, as families laugh about what used to be taboo.
• The hosts encourage a permissive, live-and-let-live philosophy for seniors.

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Conclusion

This episode is packed with laughs, quirky surprises, and warm moments, revealing the hidden (and often hilarious) “wild side” of grandparents. The Bert Show’s trademark authenticity and humor shine as callers confess their tales of “busting” grandma and grandpa, making for a memorable and engaging morning show experience.

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Transcript

[A]

Get it? The bird show. I want to ask the question now. Like, if you know that your grandparents, like, you caught them with their bag or you caught them literally, like you walked in the room and it was your grandparents and they were all sitting around in that, that 70 show circle with their other 70 or 80 year old grandparents, give us a call right now. 404741, Q100. If you ever actually busted your grandparents smoking weed. Cause she's 69 years old.

[B]

Yes, and I know it's politically incorrect, but come on. I mean, I think a certain age you have lived a long life, and if you're not hurting anybody, don't get in trouble. You know what? Good for her.

[A]

I just got an image of like, everybody at the nursing home out and the one guy who still owns a car, like the 1972 Cadillac with a big old choke wagon, all the windows.

[C]

Are rolled up, they're all hanging out.

[B]

In the choke wagon.

[D]

Where is everybody?

[B]

As long as they're not hurting anybody.

[A]

Else, let them do what they want. Harold, you're fine to drive. Let's go get some Pringles and green.

[B]

Ms. Hey, Ethel, pass me the joy.

[A]

Maybe that should be the real legalized debate right there. Like, if you're over 65, shouldn't you be able to smoke weed legally?

[B]

Absolute. Kids don't do it with cataracts.

[A]

Like the phone lines are lit up.

[B]

Lit up cataracts.

[A]

All right, Jessica.

[C]

All right, well, first off, let me say I love you guys. Thank you.

[B]

Thanks.

[C]

And I've been there since the beginning. And y' all just keep rocking it harder every single day.

[B]

Thank you.

[C]

And I just wanted to tell you that I went on vacation with my boyfriend about a year year ago. And we're older, we're not, you know, 30s or anything like that, but we are teenagers who are older. And his grandparents are a little different from like normal grandparents, I guess you could say. We were going to their closet trying to find a game, a board game to play, because sweet old grandma was like, go find a game. We'll all play it together. And we definitely went in her closet and found stoner Monopoly.

[A]

Stoner Monopoly, yes.

[C]

All the little pieces look like different accessories you can use for getting stone. Like one of them is like a little wrap and then like a little bong. Like you could be a little bong and move across the board.

[B]

I have no idea what you're talking about. Uh huh.

[C]

And so definitely we asked her about it. She was like, oh, it was a joke. It was a joke. From when we got married. And so we just kind of played it off like, whatever. And then later that night, we were all sitting down watching Conan o', Brien, actually, and her and grandpa just pulled out these little. These little wrapped up little white things and told us they were cigars. And they definitely weren't cigars because the smell is very, very dope.

[B]

And they didn't think that you would know what that smelled like.

[C]

Well, I've been to a lot of concerts. Yeah. No, no, no. I'm a very good kid, so I'm straight edge, so I don't do that kind of stuff. But it was definitely hilarious because my boyfriend was like, wow, Grandpa, can I have a little hit of your cigar? And he was like, no, no, no. This is a little bit too strong for you. And tried to play it off like it was nothing. So it was definitely awkward coming back home to my parents and being like, what were their grandparents like?

[A]

Gee, you think?

[C]

They were different, but good people, though.

[A]

I think it's really funny that they were so naive, that they're like, you know what? She'll never know what it is. That's a smoke right in front of our grandkids. Hey, Chad, you're on Q100.

[D]

Hey, what's up, y'?

[C]

All?

[D]

I love y' all show.

[C]

Thank you.

[D]

All right. So my grandmother, I sneak up on her all the time. Every two weeks, she has card games at her house. And every two weeks, I go over there, I'm like, oh, I go over there because they cook every day. They cook every two weeks. And, you know, more likely every time I go over there, I'm like, okay, y'. All, Every time I get there, I'm thinking they're just drunk. Cause, I mean, they're dancing around. And my grandma's, like, 70. She has about. She got about 20 people at her house, and they're playing card games. There's a bunch of black folks. They're all playing card games or whatever. And I kid you not, I was over there two weeks ago, and they're sitting there smoking. I'm like, grandma, what are you smoking? What is that smell? And she was sitting there smoking a blunt. And I was like, granny, what are you doing?

[C]

I was like, granny, can I get a hit?

[D]

I was like, granny, can I get a hit? And she was like, oh, no, honey, you too young for this. Little kids go back to the back room. Little kids go back to the back room.

[A]

So it's not just her. It was everybody in her group also. And they were passing it around.

[D]

Yeah, it was everybody in her. I had never seen my granny smoke. I was like, what are you doing?

[B]

You know that they're all a part of like the flowered guild at church, right? They got their bridge club and they're.

[A]

Smoking pots all together.

[B]

70. That mean, come on, they've lived a life. Let them have their little card.

[A]

It is like that little, that 70s show circle except there's a whole bunch of 70 year old people all in a circle smoking with each other.

[B]

And I know again, it's not politically correct, but come on, let the elderly have their fun. They're drinking their insurers.

[A]

Good morning, T100.

[B]

I'm really good at this product. You know what you got to do, you got to mix it with some Doritos.

[A]

What's up, Elizabeth?

[C]

Okay, so my grandfather had a green thumb and he enjoyed seeing how well things could grow. So he, and he was, I guess, a avid pot smoker. So he decided to grow pot plant at the side of his garage to see how much it would grow. Well, it covered the entire wall of the garage and grew actually up onto the roof. And we lived out in, you know, Egypt and you know, so you can kind of get away with this. Well, I mean, I didn't realize, you know, that he was doing that. And one day some cops pulled up into his garage driveway and I was, you know, 14 and nosy. So I snuck down there to see what was going on and I see my grandfather point to the side of the garage and the cop walks over there. So I'm like peeking around the corner looking at him and he pulls on the zipper and he's taking a leak all over these plants. And I'm kind of watching, giggling. Next thing I know, I realize he's pissing all over pot plants growing all up in the garage. I mean, I'm even aware enough as a 14 year old to realize that, you know, this is marijuana he's peeing on. Cop doesn't even notice. He finishes his business, zips up and walks back around, finishes talking to my grandfather and leaves. So I'm like, score, man.

[B]

So are you sure you weren't smoking some of that? You just said a cop came in the garage and peed on the plant and then left.

[C]

Well, it wasn't inside the garage, it was the outside of the garage. It was growing the whole side of the building.

[B]

Why didn't the cop go in?

[C]

I guess he thought it was kudzu because it wasn't a little pot plant. I mean it was Covering the side of the garage and growing up onto the roof.

[A]

Yeah. So why didn't the cop bust him at that point?

[B]

Why didn't the cop go inside to pee?

[C]

They're taking a leak with just minding his own business. He didn't think that he. He didn't even notice. He was oblivious to it.

[A]

Because there has to be a best cop and there has to be a worst cop. And that's the worst cop ever on the force right there.

[B]

Oh, I don't believe I'm not buying that.

[A]

Last call. Hey, amber, you're on Q100.

[C]

Am I on the voices?

[A]

Guys, there you are.

[C]

Okay. I work at a very high end senior living community in the Atlanta area.

[B]

Yeah, the senior's with the money.

[C]

Not one, but two. Two of my residents smoking.

[A]

Really?

[B]

Two of the residents now. What did you do about it?

[C]

The first one was the fire alarm went off. And I used to be. I'm an activities director now, but I used to be at the front desk. And so I was there at night by myself. And the fire alarm went off just in their apartment. My little button went off. So I was like, ah, crap. So I went up and I went up and I opened the door and I was like, whoa, that's not food.

[A]

And how old are they?

[C]

They are anywhere from 62 and up, but the aver age is like 84. 84. There you go. Whoa.

[A]

There you go.

[B]

Do you think that they put the dryer sheets inside the leftover paper towel tube and they're like, all right, you'll never know.

[A]

I don't know that one.

[B]

Did you ever see. I have no idea what you're talking about, Jenna.

[A]

I don't know that.

[B]

Come on. Y' all were in college dorms at some point.

[A]

I've never seen that one.

[B]

Really?

[A]

Never seen that one? I thought I'd seen it all.

[B]

Yeah, no, yeah. I agree with you. The whole legal thing, like, I understand people's concerns about it, but if you're 65 or older and you're not hurting.

[A]

Anybody else, you think you should legalize that?

[B]

They were 84. They are. Come on. 84 is a tough time to be living. So let them do it.

[A]

Get it. The bird show.