Vault: Can he help him get his game back?

Summary

Podcast Summary: "Vault: Can he help him get his game back?"

The Bert Show | July 15, 2026

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Main Theme & Purpose

In this energetic episode, The Bert Show crew stages an intervention for intern Brandon, whose lack of confidence in dating and social situations has become notorious within the studio. With guest Dolvett (a charismatic friend of the show) on hand, the group dives into Brandon’s insecurities, analyzes his flirting missteps, and plans a weekend “game-rebuilding” mission to help Brandon regain his swagger. The tone is light, teasing, and supportive, packed with laughs, honest moments, and practical advice on self-confidence, rejection, and stepping outside your comfort zone.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Setting the Scene: Sunglasses and Studio Vibes (01:30-03:21)

• The show opens with banter over Dolvett’s signature sunglasses, a lost bet, and Brandon’s resulting good-natured ribbing.
• Bert and the cast joke about the bright studio lights, with playful back-and-forth regarding attitude and confidence.

2. Brandon’s Confidence Crisis (03:21-06:29)

• Bert introduces the central issue: Brandon is charismatic and outgoing during station promotions but freezes up around women outside professional contexts.
  • Bert: “He’s got this thing, man. When it comes to women, he’s got zero confidence, zero swagger, nothing.” (03:29)
• Brandon admits he hasn’t been on a date in two years and has difficulty translating his “work mode” confidence into real-life flirting.
• The group discusses the difference between job-based confidence and authentic personal confidence—with Brandon chalking up his event presence to the safety of “never seeing these people again.”
  • Brandon: “Nine times out of ten, I will never see those people again. So at that moment it’s just, hey, let’s have fun.” (05:48)

3. Fear of Rejection & Comfort Zones (06:11-07:34)

• The cast identifies fear of rejection as Brandon’s main obstacle, equating it to standing on the sidelines in life and relationships.
• Jason parallels this male fear with women’s fear of getting hurt in relationships.
  • Jason: “What’s the alternative? Standing on the sideline the whole time?” (06:38)
• Dolvett encourages embracing rejection as a way to learn, comparing dating to baseball: “You’re going to strike out a whole bunch, but every now and then you’re going to hit a home run. But you’re not even going up to the plate, dude.” (07:08)
• The baseball metaphor is a recurring motif, underscoring the theme of persistence in the face of failure.

4. Analyzing Brandon’s Flirting Missteps (07:40-09:44)

• The team roasts Brandon for trying to flirt via overly detailed baseball talk at the front desk—a clear “swing and a miss.”
• Jen and Jason explain that Brandon was “impressing himself” with stats, rather than making a genuine connection.
  • Jason: “He was impressing himself.” (08:53)
• Bert bluntly tells Brandon to take the advice to heart: “You haven’t touched a boob in two years. You gotta stop...” (09:01)

5. Accepting Help and Overcoming Defensiveness (09:47-11:36)

• Jen points out Brandon’s tendency to explain away every situation instead of accepting feedback, urging him to be open to guidance.
• Dolvett and the crew express the importance of acknowledging shortcomings and trusting the process.
• Advice is given not to lower standards for validation but to boost confidence by pursuing what you genuinely want.
  • Dolvett: “He has to say the right things, feel the right way, but also pursue the girl that he really, really wants.” (11:14)

6. Game Plan: The Makeover Mission (11:36-14:13)

• Dolvett outlines the plan: going out with Brandon, coaching him to approach women, and giving him a wardrobe and grooming makeover.
  • Jen: “So you’re not just gonna let him do his own thing. You’re gonna go there with him and then watch him and then sort of everything.” (11:55)
  • Dolvett: “He’s gonna say, ‘I like her, not her. I want her, not her.’ That type of thing. And then he’s gonna do it.” (12:00)
• Plans are made for a before-and-after reveal, complete with photos.
• Brandon’s facial hair comes under scrutiny, prompting further light-hearted criticism, with Jason and Bert insisting a new look is needed.
  • Jason: “You will not recognize him when he walks in his studio on Monday. I promise.” (13:12)
• Brandon jokes, “I feel rejected already,” acknowledging the discomfort of overhauling his image (13:15).

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Bert: “He’s got this thing, man. When it comes to women, he’s got zero confidence, zero swagger, nothing.” (03:29)
• Dolvett: “You got to get rejected. That way you know what you’re good at and what you’re not good at. So you gotta try.” (06:29)
• Jason (baseball metaphor): “What’s the alternative? Standing on the sideline the whole time?” (06:38)
• Jen (tough love): “Brandon, you’re defending every single thing that comes up. You just have to accept the help.” (09:19)
• Host (possibly Bert) (blunt advice): “You haven’t touched a boob in two years. You gotta stop. It wasn’t a situation and listen to what’s going on.” (09:01)
• Announcer/Producer: “Don’t ever talk about statistics when you’re talking to a girl.” (10:00)
• Dolvett (on confidence): “He has to say the right things, feel the right way, but also pursue the girl that he really, really wants.” (11:14)
• Jason: “You will not recognize him when he walks in his studio on Monday. I promise.” (13:12)
• Brandon: “I feel rejected already.” (13:15)

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Important Segments & Timestamps

• Bet and sunglasses banter: 01:30-03:21
• Brandon’s dating (in)activity and confidence issues: 03:21-06:29
• Discussion about fear of rejection: 06:11-07:34
• Flirting critique & statistics blunder: 07:40-09:44
• Tough love and resistance to help: 09:47-11:36
• Game plan for Brandon’s makeover: 11:36-14:13

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Conclusion

This episode offers a humorous yet sincere look at self-confidence, friendship, and the challenge of personal growth. With Dolvett and the Bert Show cast combining teasing with real advice, Brandon’s journey turns into an entertaining group project. The upbeat tone, quick wit, and relatable struggles around dating and self-doubt make this episode a lively and motivational listen—whether or not you’re in a dating slump yourself.

Transcript

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[Ryan Reynolds]

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[Announcer/Producer]

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[Bluff]

This is the Bird show.

[Host (possibly Bert)]

All right, let's get intern Brandon here. I lost the bet. Talvette, we had a bet today, man.

[Dolvett]

What was the bet?

[Host (possibly Bert)]

The bet was will Dolvett come in with his sunglasses on or not. And I said you would not have your sunglasses on today.

[Dolvett]

It was so wrong.

[Brandon]

And I lost.

[Announcer/Producer]

This is your best friend. Dude, you don't know your best friend.

[Brandon]

Look how.

[Jen]

Look how bright it is in here.

[Host (possibly Bert)]

I've been surprised. Very surprised. How you doing, man?

[Bluff]

I'm brown.

[Caller (Jesse)]

I'm good.

[Jen]

You work Mackie.

[Host (possibly Bert)]

Mike's not working Mackie. There we go.

[Jen]

Yeah, the sunglasses cancel out the microphone

[Host (possibly Bert)]

technology still doesn't sound right.

[Dolvett]

Listen, it is so bright outside and the pollen kills my.

[Jen]

Just share with Brandon.

[Bluff]

You can use my mic.

[Host (possibly Bert)]

Hold on, your mic's not working. We use this one over here.

[Jen]

It might be. There's a boosh filter on this in the studio, so. Yeah, you know what? Seriously, take the sunglasses off and then say the microphone.

[Host (possibly Bert)]

The mic might work if you take the sunglasses off the mic.

[Jen]

Yeah, perfect.

[Host (possibly Bert)]

The mic might work.

[Dolvett]

Say that four times.

[Host (possibly Bert)]

What's going on, dude?

[Dolvett]

What's up, brother? It's good to be here.

[Host (possibly Bert)]

You and Dookie do it up last night?

[Dolvett]

Oh, boy.

[Host (possibly Bert)]

Oh, where'd you guys go last night?

[Dolvett]

10 degrees south. Big up to 10 degree. And what do we do after that? And then the rest was vague.

[Host (possibly Bert)]

Okay. One of those, huh? Maybe that's why you're wearing the sunglasses today.

[Dolvett]

Good morning.

[Host (possibly Bert)]

You know what? Try the sunglasses on Brandon for a second, because this is all about attitude.

[Brandon]

There you go. Really?

[Host (possibly Bert)]

At the end of the day, this is all gonna be about attitude.

[Jen]

I think you need to have a friend named Dookie.

[Jason]

I don't think I've ever seen Dolvett's face without the sunglasses.

[Announcer/Producer]

It's really nice to see.

[Host (possibly Bert)]

It's really nice.

[Jason]

You're good looking.

[Host (possibly Bert)]

That changes everything.

[Dolvett]

You just raise your game, right?

[Brandon]

I feel like I should go out with Chili now.

[Dolvett]

Everybody got jokes. All right, B, you and me. This I don't know.

[Host (possibly Bert)]

All right, here's. Here's the plan going into the weekend. Dolvec, we've brought you in here before and you've met Brandon. Brandon to me, is a good looking dude.

[Dolvett]

It's a good looking guy.

[Host (possibly Bert)]

Naive, got a good personality. I mean, you see him out at events, he's like holding the mic, he's holding court. He's good to go, right? But he's got this thing, man. When it comes to women, he's got zero confidence, zero swagger, nothing.

[Dolvett]

We definitely have to remedy that sickness, my brother.

[Jen]

Can I ask you for a clarification, Brandon?

[Brandon]

Yeah.

[Jen]

Because there is a rumor that you have approached a promo intern on more than one occasion.

[Brandon]

You know what?

[Jen]

And said you want to come over here and make out.

[Brandon]

Who said that?

[Jen]

It might be a rumor.

[Brandon]

Okay, I heard the. No, no, I heard the tease yesterday at the end of the show.

[Jen]

I don't think this has anything to do with that. I think this is just. I just got this a few minutes ago.

[Brandon]

No, I don't think I've offered to make out with any of my promo interns. Maybe one or two during the summer. But I was an intern then, too. I wasn't hired yet, but that's like that.

[Jen]

That's a pretty bold line for somebody who's claiming to have no game. Want to come over here and make out?

[Brandon]

Well, it's promotions, you know, we got to sell ourselves.

[Host (possibly Bert)]

So he's got a Different.

[Jason]

You can't text that.

[Jen]

Did Frankie do it?

[Brandon]

Text that to her? I may have. I don't.

[Host (possibly Bert)]

You don't remember if you were.

[Brandon]

I don't remember. Maybe.

[Host (possibly Bert)]

And do you. Do you drink?

[Dolvett]

Not really.

[Host (possibly Bert)]

Okay, that's gonna hurt.

[Dolvett]

Smart man.

[Host (possibly Bert)]

That's gonna hurt with the confidence. So he told us earlier this morning he hasn't been out on a date in, what, two years?

[Brandon]

Yeah, basically two years.

[Host (possibly Bert)]

He's had one girlfriend. And describe to Dolvett what it feels like for you if you're in a. If you're in a bar setting or whatever, or even if you're. I don't know, you're working promotions and there's a pretty girl, she's across the room. What's going through your head? How are you feeling?

[Brandon]

Well, if I'm working promotions, I know it's within the job to interact with people. So out at events, it's all part of the job.

[Host (possibly Bert)]

Different for you?

[Brandon]

Yeah, at events, it's all part of the job. It's fun just to interact with people like that.

[Announcer/Producer]

Why is it different when. Because I've seen you at events. I mean, he's. He's one of the funnest people at an event. So I. What is the difference between being at a Q100 event and being just at,

[Brandon]

you know, out the timesheet?

[Jen]

So if you're getting paid, you'll flirt?

[Brandon]

No, it's just within the job. Like, I know it's part of the job. I know that's why they hired me, to interact with people. So it's like a switch goes off. Like, okay, work mode. Yes, let's.

[Host (possibly Bert)]

But if that works during a promotion, then why can't you just use that when you're not Brandon, the promotions guy?

[Brandon]

Cuz 9 times out of 10, I will never see those people again. So at that moment, it's just, hey, let's have fun.

[Jason]

There's no fear of rejection there.

[Host (possibly Bert)]

Well, it certainly sounds like the way you're going now. Nine out of ten times, you're never gonna see the.

[Jen]

Or you won't see him again. But they'll ask you to introduce you to one of our friends.

[Host (possibly Bert)]

It's confidence.

[Brandon]

I have no problem being the wingman either. I'm very good at playing that role.

[Host (possibly Bert)]

Cop out.

[Brandon]

I am very good at that.

[Announcer/Producer]

Goes back to what Jen said earlier. It's all about rejection.

[Jason]

You don't want to get rejected, so you don't even put yourself out there because you're afraid of it.

[Host (possibly Bert)]

It's easy to Be the wingman. Because you can say that you're the one sacrificing. So if things don't work out, you know, it was just a nice bonus. But if you're the man going in, then there's a rejection factor.

[Dolvett]

But that's the whole point. You got to get rejected. That way you know what you're good at and what you're not good at. So you gotta try.

[Jason]

If you're not doing it, you gotta do it.

[Dolvett]

You gotta do it. You gotta get out there. That's the whole point.

[Jason]

This is what I talk to about my girlfriends. But with girlfriends, it's a fear of getting hurt, right? So guys have a fear of rejection and getting turned down, but women have a fear of, like, getting into relationships or dating or whatever because they're afraid of getting hurt. And I'm like, well, what's the alternative? Standing on the sideline the whole time?

[Host (possibly Bert)]

Well, that's what he's doing. You know, he's standing on the sideline.

[Jason]

Exactly.

[Jen]

Dolvett, explain to Brandon when you got blown off by Chili, how that made

[Dolvett]

you, well, basically dater. Watch the show, okay? That's all I got to say. Watch the show, people.

[Host (possibly Bert)]

But it's like, it's a little. Look, Brandon loves baseball. It's a little bit like baseball here, okay? You're going to strike out a whole bunch, but every now and then you're going to hit a home run. But you're not even going up to the plate, dude. Yeah.

[Announcer/Producer]

I mean, Jason Hayward, I mean, he struck out last night on three pitches. I mean, he's supposed to be the superhero of the Braves, but you know what? He had a horrible at bat.

[Brandon]

You know this. He's going to strike out bombs too, so.

[Announcer/Producer]

And so can you.

[Dolvett]

And so can you. That's the whole point. You gotta keep swinging. Cause eventually you'll hit a home run.

[Brandon]

I mean.

[Jason]

Exactly.

[Brandon]

Or I could be like Troy Gloss and just strike out every time.

[Host (possibly Bert)]

Eventually. Don't go into a game like that.

[Jason]

And I think Brandon needs a little bit help on the flirting side of things. Silvette, Because I got to.

[Brandon]

Texting interns is not good flirting.

[Jason]

No. And I'm going to experience Brandon attempting the flirting.

[Brandon]

That's what I heard. And it was not a flirt, though. What is this about? It really wasn't a flirt.

[Jason]

It was bad.

[Brandon]

The intern in question has a boyfri.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Uh huh.

[Brandon]

And it was a full conversation that we were having before that.

[Jason]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Host (possibly Bert)]

What did you hear here?

[Jason]

He's up at the front desk, right? And the cutie little girl right on the front desk, he's talking to her. And I'm like, I'm like over on the other side, like at the fax machine, I'm trying to send something, but I can hear him around the corner trying to chat it up with her. And he's going into this in depth baseball conversation about how baseball is the purest of all the sports. And he's going on and on like he's Mr. Baseball Expert, like he's trying to impress her. I'm not trying to baseball expert. And she was kind of being like talky, chatty, flirty, right back to him, whatever. But you were like, you were a swing and a miss on that because you just kept hammering away on the sports like you were doing like statistics and like this and that about your series on the game of baseball.

[Dolvett]

He wasn't impressed by her. He was more impressed by what he was saying. Is that what you mean?

[Jen]

He's impressing himself.

[Jason]

He was impressing himself.

[Brandon]

No, the conversation was.

[Host (possibly Bert)]

Look, look, look, Brandon, look, you got to take all this in, dude.

[Jen]

You got to stop defending.

[Host (possibly Bert)]

You haven't touched a boob in two years. You gotta stop. It wasn't a situation and listen to what's going on.

[Brandon]

I wasn't trying to flirt with her. It was a conversation. As in, why wouldn't I want to go to a Renaissance festival? Cuz I would rather watch baseball.

[Announcer/Producer]

Don't break the Renaissance festival on doors. Now hold on.

[Jen]

I'm kidding me. You know what the problem is? Dolvett is here and Brandon, you're defending every single thing that comes up. You just have to accept the help. If you don't want the help, then Dolvett certainly needs to work on his own game. He can focus on that. But if you want. Okay, yeah, do's gonna be fine. So I think if you. If you're willing to accept the help, then you have to take the feedback from Jen and Dolvet and Bert and whoever else I am.

[Brandon]

But that situation wasn't a flirt, though. You're defending, but just in that situation.

[Host (possibly Bert)]

Stop, stop. Everything you're doing sucks.

[Dolvett]

Just put a band aid on it already.

[Jen]

Jesus.

[Dolvett]

Stop the bleeding.

[Announcer/Producer]

Don't ever talk about statistics when you're talking to a girl. Any SP board.

[Jason]

Don't.

[Announcer/Producer]

Don't bring up the stuff and go

[Jen]

back to the beginning of that story. When do we have someone at the front desk?

[Host (possibly Bert)]

He must have a second job.

[Dolvett]

Thank God. I can never get into this Place.

[Host (possibly Bert)]

Jesse has some advice. Jesse, good Morning. You're on Q100.

[Caller (Jesse)]

Hey, what up, guys? How you doing?

[Host (possibly Bert)]

Good, how are you?

[Caller (Jesse)]

What I was thinking is, like, if they're going out and they're planning to do some stuff and go talk some chicks, maybe he starts out with, like, in the number ratings, you know, there's like 1 through 10. If he goes for a 10, he might strike out. But if he's like a 5, maybe go to like a 3 or 4. It's a little easier to talk to, a little easier to get, you know, get some attention from.

[Host (possibly Bert)]

He's saying just for the bait. Dolvet's looking like, what you talking about? He's saying just for the basics, man. Just to build up a little confidence. You go out, you go below your lane a little bit to somebody that is going to be almost like, grateful

[Announcer/Producer]

that somebody desperate enough for you.

[Brandon]

A confidence builder.

[Host (possibly Bert)]

It's a confidence builder conversation. Slump buster.

[Dolvett]

So Jeff with a wig, he said

[Brandon]

a three, not a two.

[Jen]

Okay.

[Host (possibly Bert)]

Do you like that advice or you don't like that advice?

[Dolvett]

That. That's good advice to. No, not for my. No. You don't think so we're going to go. At the end of the day, the confidence has to come in two ways. Not only what you say, but what you're interested in. You know, so if he's interested in that girl versus, ah, she's not. Okay. He won't really boost his own confidence, you know, so he has to say the right things, feel the right way, but also pursue the girl that he really, really wants.

[Ryan Reynolds]

I would agree with.

[Dolvett]

Start out wrong.

[Jen]

So is the way this gonna. Is this gonna go, Delvat? Like, you guys are gonna go out and wherever you're gonna be this weekend, and you're just gonna make him pick out a girl and then you'll talk him through it and off he goes?

[Dolvett]

Absolutely. That's exactly it.

[Announcer/Producer]

Throw you in the pool to learn how to swim.

[Jen]

Yes.

[Announcer/Producer]

Wait, wait.

[Host (possibly Bert)]

Let's take this once.

[Brandon]

Let's take this one.

[Dolvett]

Daddy's gonna raise your son.

[Jen]

If I had don't let my corner, I'd. Whatever he says.

[Host (possibly Bert)]

So you're not just gonna let him do his own thing. You're gonna go there with him and then watch him and then sort of everything.

[Dolvett]

We're hanging out, having a good time. He's gonna say, I like her, not her. I want her, not her. That type of thing. And then he's gonna do it.

[Jen]

And Brandon, don't even feel bad when Dolvette Takes home the girl that you.

[Caller (Jesse)]

Won't happen.

[Host (possibly Bert)]

All right, so where are you planning on taking this dude this weekend?

[Dolvett]

I don't know. I got a couple places in mind,

[Jason]

but I think it's better if we don't stay. Yeah.

[Announcer/Producer]

Don't scam.

[Dolvett]

I'm open to suggestions. I mean, if anybody knows the city. You don't wanna.

[Announcer/Producer]

I think that it's best if the people there don't realize he's coming.

[Dolvett]

Okay.

[Host (possibly Bert)]

How about wardrobe? What you gonna do with him?

[Dolvett]

Oh, we gotta do a lot.

[Brandon]

I am coaching a basketball game this afternoon, so I didn't feel like dressing up.

[Dolvett]

Hey, I've met you three times. I mean, three basketball games. Three basketball games.

[Caller (Jesse)]

Yeah.

[Bluff]

We gonna have.

[Jen]

Yeah. Accept the help. It's not a bad thing.

[Host (possibly Bert)]

I know, but you're fighting it, dude.

[Jen]

You're fighting.

[Announcer/Producer]

You're feeling rejected right now.

[Host (possibly Bert)]

That's the first thing that women notice

[Dolvett]

is the first thing they look at.

[Announcer/Producer]

You feel rejected now.

[Brandon]

I do. It hurts.

[Jason]

You're gonna clean him right here, too.

[Dolvett]

Shave it up a little bit.

[Brandon]

I've been working on this for almost 22 years.

[Host (possibly Bert)]

It's not working. Nothing is working, not working.

[Announcer/Producer]

Can we.

[Jason]

Can we get it. Can we get a clean shave?

[Dolvett]

You will not recognize him when he walks in his studio on Monday. I promise.

[Brandon]

I feel rejected already.

[Host (possibly Bert)]

Dude, we're getting you health, man. I know what you're doing is not working. You don't have the tools.

[Jason]

You're defensive now, but in a couple of weeks from now, once Dolvett has done the makeover on you, it's going to be. You're going to be thanking us for this.

[Brandon]

I thought the facial hair was cool.

[Jason]

No, dude, it's kind of everything you thought was cool.

[Host (possibly Bert)]

Hey, Brandon, how has cool worked out for you the last couple of years?

[Brandon]

Touche.

[Host (possibly Bert)]

Maybe it's not cool.

[Dolvett]

Upgrade your swagger.

[Brandon]

Let's go.

[Host (possibly Bert)]

All right, so we're going to take a picture of you today also, because we're going to get you online and see what he does with you this weekend. It's the before and after, all right? Just be open. Just be a good soldier, okay? You don't have any input. When you're with a general and you're just a soldier, you don't get input, okay?

[Jason]

Just listen to the enlisted right now. Sir, yes, sir.

[Announcer/Producer]

Yes. You're enlisted right now, so you got to listen to the officer drafted.

[Dolvett]

All my stylists out there. I'll be calling you guys. All my stylists out there. We got a project. Let's go.

[Host (possibly Bert)]

This is the Birch Show.

[Mood Sponsor]

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[Bluff]

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