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Ryan Reynolds
Hey, it's Ryan Reynolds here from Mint Mobile. Now I was looking for fun ways to tell you that Mint's offer of unlimited Premium Wireless for $15 a month is back. So I thought it would be fun if we made $15 bills, but it turns out that's very illegal. So there goes my big idea for the commercial. Give it a try@mintmobile.com Switch upfront payment
Announcer/Producer
of $45 for three months, $90 for six months or $180 for a 12 month plan required $15 per month equivalent to taxes and fees. Extra initial plan term only greater than 50 gigabytes. May slow when network is busy. See terms.
Bluff
This is the Bird show.
Host (possibly Bert)
All right, let's get intern Brandon here. I lost the bet. Talvette, we had a bet today, man.
Dolvett
What was the bet?
Host (possibly Bert)
The bet was will Dolvett come in with his sunglasses on or not. And I said you would not have your sunglasses on today.
Dolvett
It was so wrong.
Brandon
And I lost.
Announcer/Producer
This is your best friend. Dude, you don't know your best friend.
Brandon
Look how.
Jen
Look how bright it is in here.
Host (possibly Bert)
I've been surprised. Very surprised. How you doing, man?
Bluff
I'm brown.
Caller (Jesse)
I'm good.
Jen
You work Mackie.
Host (possibly Bert)
Mike's not working Mackie. There we go.
Jen
Yeah, the sunglasses cancel out the microphone
Host (possibly Bert)
technology still doesn't sound right.
Dolvett
Listen, it is so bright outside and the pollen kills my.
Jen
Just share with Brandon.
Bluff
You can use my mic.
Host (possibly Bert)
Hold on, your mic's not working. We use this one over here.
Jen
It might be. There's a boosh filter on this in the studio, so. Yeah, you know what? Seriously, take the sunglasses off and then say the microphone.
Host (possibly Bert)
The mic might work if you take the sunglasses off the mic.
Jen
Yeah, perfect.
Host (possibly Bert)
The mic might work.
Dolvett
Say that four times.
Host (possibly Bert)
What's going on, dude?
Dolvett
What's up, brother? It's good to be here.
Host (possibly Bert)
You and Dookie do it up last night?
Dolvett
Oh, boy.
Host (possibly Bert)
Oh, where'd you guys go last night?
Dolvett
10 degrees south. Big up to 10 degree. And what do we do after that? And then the rest was vague.
Host (possibly Bert)
Okay. One of those, huh? Maybe that's why you're wearing the sunglasses today.
Dolvett
Good morning.
Host (possibly Bert)
You know what? Try the sunglasses on Brandon for a second, because this is all about attitude.
Brandon
There you go. Really?
Host (possibly Bert)
At the end of the day, this is all gonna be about attitude.
Jen
I think you need to have a friend named Dookie.
Jason
I don't think I've ever seen Dolvett's face without the sunglasses.
Announcer/Producer
It's really nice to see.
Host (possibly Bert)
It's really nice.
Jason
You're good looking.
Host (possibly Bert)
That changes everything.
Dolvett
You just raise your game, right?
Brandon
I feel like I should go out with Chili now.
Dolvett
Everybody got jokes. All right, B, you and me. This I don't know.
Host (possibly Bert)
All right, here's. Here's the plan going into the weekend. Dolvec, we've brought you in here before and you've met Brandon. Brandon to me, is a good looking dude.
Dolvett
It's a good looking guy.
Host (possibly Bert)
Naive, got a good personality. I mean, you see him out at events, he's like holding the mic, he's holding court. He's good to go, right? But he's got this thing, man. When it comes to women, he's got zero confidence, zero swagger, nothing.
Dolvett
We definitely have to remedy that sickness, my brother.
Jen
Can I ask you for a clarification, Brandon?
Brandon
Yeah.
Jen
Because there is a rumor that you have approached a promo intern on more than one occasion.
Brandon
You know what?
Jen
And said you want to come over here and make out.
Brandon
Who said that?
Jen
It might be a rumor.
Brandon
Okay, I heard the. No, no, I heard the tease yesterday at the end of the show.
Jen
I don't think this has anything to do with that. I think this is just. I just got this a few minutes ago.
Brandon
No, I don't think I've offered to make out with any of my promo interns. Maybe one or two during the summer. But I was an intern then, too. I wasn't hired yet, but that's like that.
Jen
That's a pretty bold line for somebody who's claiming to have no game. Want to come over here and make out?
Brandon
Well, it's promotions, you know, we got to sell ourselves.
Host (possibly Bert)
So he's got a Different.
Jason
You can't text that.
Jen
Did Frankie do it?
Brandon
Text that to her? I may have. I don't.
Host (possibly Bert)
You don't remember if you were.
Brandon
I don't remember. Maybe.
Host (possibly Bert)
And do you. Do you drink?
Dolvett
Not really.
Host (possibly Bert)
Okay, that's gonna hurt.
Dolvett
Smart man.
Host (possibly Bert)
That's gonna hurt with the confidence. So he told us earlier this morning he hasn't been out on a date in, what, two years?
Brandon
Yeah, basically two years.
Host (possibly Bert)
He's had one girlfriend. And describe to Dolvett what it feels like for you if you're in a. If you're in a bar setting or whatever, or even if you're. I don't know, you're working promotions and there's a pretty girl, she's across the room. What's going through your head? How are you feeling?
Brandon
Well, if I'm working promotions, I know it's within the job to interact with people. So out at events, it's all part of the job.
Host (possibly Bert)
Different for you?
Brandon
Yeah, at events, it's all part of the job. It's fun just to interact with people like that.
Announcer/Producer
Why is it different when. Because I've seen you at events. I mean, he's. He's one of the funnest people at an event. So I. What is the difference between being at a Q100 event and being just at,
Brandon
you know, out the timesheet?
Jen
So if you're getting paid, you'll flirt?
Brandon
No, it's just within the job. Like, I know it's part of the job. I know that's why they hired me, to interact with people. So it's like a switch goes off. Like, okay, work mode. Yes, let's.
Host (possibly Bert)
But if that works during a promotion, then why can't you just use that when you're not Brandon, the promotions guy?
Brandon
Cuz 9 times out of 10, I will never see those people again. So at that moment, it's just, hey, let's have fun.
Jason
There's no fear of rejection there.
Host (possibly Bert)
Well, it certainly sounds like the way you're going now. Nine out of ten times, you're never gonna see the.
Jen
Or you won't see him again. But they'll ask you to introduce you to one of our friends.
Host (possibly Bert)
It's confidence.
Brandon
I have no problem being the wingman either. I'm very good at playing that role.
Host (possibly Bert)
Cop out.
Brandon
I am very good at that.
Announcer/Producer
Goes back to what Jen said earlier. It's all about rejection.
Jason
You don't want to get rejected, so you don't even put yourself out there because you're afraid of it.
Host (possibly Bert)
It's easy to Be the wingman. Because you can say that you're the one sacrificing. So if things don't work out, you know, it was just a nice bonus. But if you're the man going in, then there's a rejection factor.
Dolvett
But that's the whole point. You got to get rejected. That way you know what you're good at and what you're not good at. So you gotta try.
Jason
If you're not doing it, you gotta do it.
Dolvett
You gotta do it. You gotta get out there. That's the whole point.
Jason
This is what I talk to about my girlfriends. But with girlfriends, it's a fear of getting hurt, right? So guys have a fear of rejection and getting turned down, but women have a fear of, like, getting into relationships or dating or whatever because they're afraid of getting hurt. And I'm like, well, what's the alternative? Standing on the sideline the whole time?
Host (possibly Bert)
Well, that's what he's doing. You know, he's standing on the sideline.
Jason
Exactly.
Jen
Dolvett, explain to Brandon when you got blown off by Chili, how that made
Dolvett
you, well, basically dater. Watch the show, okay? That's all I got to say. Watch the show, people.
Host (possibly Bert)
But it's like, it's a little. Look, Brandon loves baseball. It's a little bit like baseball here, okay? You're going to strike out a whole bunch, but every now and then you're going to hit a home run. But you're not even going up to the plate, dude. Yeah.
Announcer/Producer
I mean, Jason Hayward, I mean, he struck out last night on three pitches. I mean, he's supposed to be the superhero of the Braves, but you know what? He had a horrible at bat.
Brandon
You know this. He's going to strike out bombs too, so.
Announcer/Producer
And so can you.
Dolvett
And so can you. That's the whole point. You gotta keep swinging. Cause eventually you'll hit a home run.
Brandon
I mean.
Jason
Exactly.
Brandon
Or I could be like Troy Gloss and just strike out every time.
Host (possibly Bert)
Eventually. Don't go into a game like that.
Jason
And I think Brandon needs a little bit help on the flirting side of things. Silvette, Because I got to.
Brandon
Texting interns is not good flirting.
Jason
No. And I'm going to experience Brandon attempting the flirting.
Brandon
That's what I heard. And it was not a flirt, though. What is this about? It really wasn't a flirt.
Jason
It was bad.
Brandon
The intern in question has a boyfri.
Ryan Reynolds
Uh huh.
Brandon
And it was a full conversation that we were having before that.
Jason
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Host (possibly Bert)
What did you hear here?
Jason
He's up at the front desk, right? And the cutie little girl right on the front desk, he's talking to her. And I'm like, I'm like over on the other side, like at the fax machine, I'm trying to send something, but I can hear him around the corner trying to chat it up with her. And he's going into this in depth baseball conversation about how baseball is the purest of all the sports. And he's going on and on like he's Mr. Baseball Expert, like he's trying to impress her. I'm not trying to baseball expert. And she was kind of being like talky, chatty, flirty, right back to him, whatever. But you were like, you were a swing and a miss on that because you just kept hammering away on the sports like you were doing like statistics and like this and that about your series on the game of baseball.
Dolvett
He wasn't impressed by her. He was more impressed by what he was saying. Is that what you mean?
Jen
He's impressing himself.
Jason
He was impressing himself.
Brandon
No, the conversation was.
Host (possibly Bert)
Look, look, look, Brandon, look, you got to take all this in, dude.
Jen
You got to stop defending.
Host (possibly Bert)
You haven't touched a boob in two years. You gotta stop. It wasn't a situation and listen to what's going on.
Brandon
I wasn't trying to flirt with her. It was a conversation. As in, why wouldn't I want to go to a Renaissance festival? Cuz I would rather watch baseball.
Announcer/Producer
Don't break the Renaissance festival on doors. Now hold on.
Jen
I'm kidding me. You know what the problem is? Dolvett is here and Brandon, you're defending every single thing that comes up. You just have to accept the help. If you don't want the help, then Dolvett certainly needs to work on his own game. He can focus on that. But if you want. Okay, yeah, do's gonna be fine. So I think if you. If you're willing to accept the help, then you have to take the feedback from Jen and Dolvet and Bert and whoever else I am.
Brandon
But that situation wasn't a flirt, though. You're defending, but just in that situation.
Host (possibly Bert)
Stop, stop. Everything you're doing sucks.
Dolvett
Just put a band aid on it already.
Jen
Jesus.
Dolvett
Stop the bleeding.
Announcer/Producer
Don't ever talk about statistics when you're talking to a girl. Any SP board.
Jason
Don't.
Announcer/Producer
Don't bring up the stuff and go
Jen
back to the beginning of that story. When do we have someone at the front desk?
Host (possibly Bert)
He must have a second job.
Dolvett
Thank God. I can never get into this Place.
Host (possibly Bert)
Jesse has some advice. Jesse, good Morning. You're on Q100.
Caller (Jesse)
Hey, what up, guys? How you doing?
Host (possibly Bert)
Good, how are you?
Caller (Jesse)
What I was thinking is, like, if they're going out and they're planning to do some stuff and go talk some chicks, maybe he starts out with, like, in the number ratings, you know, there's like 1 through 10. If he goes for a 10, he might strike out. But if he's like a 5, maybe go to like a 3 or 4. It's a little easier to talk to, a little easier to get, you know, get some attention from.
Host (possibly Bert)
He's saying just for the bait. Dolvet's looking like, what you talking about? He's saying just for the basics, man. Just to build up a little confidence. You go out, you go below your lane a little bit to somebody that is going to be almost like, grateful
Announcer/Producer
that somebody desperate enough for you.
Brandon
A confidence builder.
Host (possibly Bert)
It's a confidence builder conversation. Slump buster.
Dolvett
So Jeff with a wig, he said
Brandon
a three, not a two.
Jen
Okay.
Host (possibly Bert)
Do you like that advice or you don't like that advice?
Dolvett
That. That's good advice to. No, not for my. No. You don't think so we're going to go. At the end of the day, the confidence has to come in two ways. Not only what you say, but what you're interested in. You know, so if he's interested in that girl versus, ah, she's not. Okay. He won't really boost his own confidence, you know, so he has to say the right things, feel the right way, but also pursue the girl that he really, really wants.
Ryan Reynolds
I would agree with.
Dolvett
Start out wrong.
Jen
So is the way this gonna. Is this gonna go, Delvat? Like, you guys are gonna go out and wherever you're gonna be this weekend, and you're just gonna make him pick out a girl and then you'll talk him through it and off he goes?
Dolvett
Absolutely. That's exactly it.
Announcer/Producer
Throw you in the pool to learn how to swim.
Jen
Yes.
Announcer/Producer
Wait, wait.
Host (possibly Bert)
Let's take this once.
Brandon
Let's take this one.
Dolvett
Daddy's gonna raise your son.
Jen
If I had don't let my corner, I'd. Whatever he says.
Host (possibly Bert)
So you're not just gonna let him do his own thing. You're gonna go there with him and then watch him and then sort of everything.
Dolvett
We're hanging out, having a good time. He's gonna say, I like her, not her. I want her, not her. That type of thing. And then he's gonna do it.
Jen
And Brandon, don't even feel bad when Dolvette Takes home the girl that you.
Caller (Jesse)
Won't happen.
Host (possibly Bert)
All right, so where are you planning on taking this dude this weekend?
Dolvett
I don't know. I got a couple places in mind,
Jason
but I think it's better if we don't stay. Yeah.
Announcer/Producer
Don't scam.
Dolvett
I'm open to suggestions. I mean, if anybody knows the city. You don't wanna.
Announcer/Producer
I think that it's best if the people there don't realize he's coming.
Dolvett
Okay.
Host (possibly Bert)
How about wardrobe? What you gonna do with him?
Dolvett
Oh, we gotta do a lot.
Brandon
I am coaching a basketball game this afternoon, so I didn't feel like dressing up.
Dolvett
Hey, I've met you three times. I mean, three basketball games. Three basketball games.
Caller (Jesse)
Yeah.
Bluff
We gonna have.
Jen
Yeah. Accept the help. It's not a bad thing.
Host (possibly Bert)
I know, but you're fighting it, dude.
Jen
You're fighting.
Announcer/Producer
You're feeling rejected right now.
Host (possibly Bert)
That's the first thing that women notice
Dolvett
is the first thing they look at.
Announcer/Producer
You feel rejected now.
Brandon
I do. It hurts.
Jason
You're gonna clean him right here, too.
Dolvett
Shave it up a little bit.
Brandon
I've been working on this for almost 22 years.
Host (possibly Bert)
It's not working. Nothing is working, not working.
Announcer/Producer
Can we.
Jason
Can we get it. Can we get a clean shave?
Dolvett
You will not recognize him when he walks in his studio on Monday. I promise.
Brandon
I feel rejected already.
Host (possibly Bert)
Dude, we're getting you health, man. I know what you're doing is not working. You don't have the tools.
Jason
You're defensive now, but in a couple of weeks from now, once Dolvett has done the makeover on you, it's going to be. You're going to be thanking us for this.
Brandon
I thought the facial hair was cool.
Jason
No, dude, it's kind of everything you thought was cool.
Host (possibly Bert)
Hey, Brandon, how has cool worked out for you the last couple of years?
Brandon
Touche.
Host (possibly Bert)
Maybe it's not cool.
Dolvett
Upgrade your swagger.
Brandon
Let's go.
Host (possibly Bert)
All right, so we're going to take a picture of you today also, because we're going to get you online and see what he does with you this weekend. It's the before and after, all right? Just be open. Just be a good soldier, okay? You don't have any input. When you're with a general and you're just a soldier, you don't get input, okay?
Jason
Just listen to the enlisted right now. Sir, yes, sir.
Announcer/Producer
Yes. You're enlisted right now, so you got to listen to the officer drafted.
Dolvett
All my stylists out there. I'll be calling you guys. All my stylists out there. We got a project. Let's go.
Host (possibly Bert)
This is the Birch Show.
Mood Sponsor
This episode sponsored by Mood. Okay, this is actually genius. Are you ever overwhelmed with choices at the dispensary? What if I told you that you could shop cannabis by the exact mood you want tonight? With Mood, you don't shop by strain names or confusion. You shop by how you want to feel. Want to relax after work, sleep better, feel more creative or be more social? Mood makes it simple. Pick the Feeling and Mood recommends products to match. Mood has gummies, flour, pre rolls and edibles designed around your mood. I tried Mood's sleepy gummies and within an hour I felt calm, sleeping, settled and ready for bed. No dispensary run, no second guessing, just a smooth relaxing experience delivered to my door. It's federally legal, third party tested and backed by a 100 day satisfaction guarantee. Go to Mood M O O D dot com. That's M-O O D dot com however you want to feel tonight. Mood helps you get there.
Bluff
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Host (possibly Bert)
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The Bert Show | July 15, 2026
In this energetic episode, The Bert Show crew stages an intervention for intern Brandon, whose lack of confidence in dating and social situations has become notorious within the studio. With guest Dolvett (a charismatic friend of the show) on hand, the group dives into Brandon’s insecurities, analyzes his flirting missteps, and plans a weekend “game-rebuilding” mission to help Brandon regain his swagger. The tone is light, teasing, and supportive, packed with laughs, honest moments, and practical advice on self-confidence, rejection, and stepping outside your comfort zone.
This episode offers a humorous yet sincere look at self-confidence, friendship, and the challenge of personal growth. With Dolvett and the Bert Show cast combining teasing with real advice, Brandon’s journey turns into an entertaining group project. The upbeat tone, quick wit, and relatable struggles around dating and self-doubt make this episode a lively and motivational listen—whether or not you’re in a dating slump yourself.