Vault: Can she eat a 5-lb burrito?

Summary

The Bert Show – "Vault: Can She Eat a 5-lb Burrito?"

Date: June 11, 2026
Main Cast: Bert, Kristin, Abby, Cassie, Tommy, Producer Joanna, additional hosts & guests

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Episode Overview

This episode centers around a playful and outrageous eating challenge within The Bert Show team: can their petite producer Joanna take down a massive five-pound burrito—known as the "Five Pound Chihuahua"—at a new taqueria? The conversation mixes laughs, friendly bets, and banter about eating contests, competitive eating legends, and food culture, all delivered with the show’s unique camaraderie and authenticity.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Kickoff: Legendary Eating Challenges

[01:30-02:26]

• The team reminisces about notorious food challenges, like the gigantic pizza at Pie in the Sky:
  • Host 3: “It’s a huge pizza, like impossible to finish.”
  • The reward? Sweatshirts, T-shirts, and bragging rights.
• Conversation shifts to TV shows about eating challenges—referencing Discovery Channel and “Man vs. Food.”

2. Joanna’s Surprising Appetite

[02:26-03:28]

• Teeny producer Joanna claims she could finish even the biggest pizza, surprising the team:
  • Joanna ([02:37]): “Well, I would like to disclaimer. I was really hungry the day we were talking about this.”
  • She recalls devouring a one-pound burger—bun and fries included—at Cheeburger Cheeburger.
• The team marvels at her size vs. appetite:
  • Host 2 ([03:07]): “She’s like five foot one and weighs 90 nothing pounds.”

3. Bringing in the Burrito: The Challenge is ON

[04:11-05:07]

• The crew unveils the five-pound burrito from Cantina (formerly Lola’s)—a taqueria and tequila bar:
  • Host 2 ([04:36]): “That’s one burrito that’s like the size of my leg.”
  • Host 5 ([05:01]): “It’s bigger than most chihuahuas I’ve ever seen.”
  • Host 4 ([05:04]): “That is the size of a small dog.”
• The restaurant staff reveals only 1 out of 10 challengers has managed to finish it.

4. Upping the Ante: Friendly Bets and Strategy Talk

[05:43-06:28]

• The team piles on bets:
  • Host 2 ([05:43]): “There is no. I will bet you right now $200.”
  • Host 5 ([05:49]): "I'll throw in another hundred… there is no way."
• Prize pot grows to $300, plus the restaurant offers a new microwave if she succeeds.
• Burrito breakdown: 2 lbs meat, 1 lb rice, 1 lb beans, half lb cheese, plus guac and salsa.
  • Joanna ([06:08]): “See, that’s what’s gonna get you is the rice. Cause then the rice is gonna expand in your stomach.”

5. The Logistics: Time Limit & Rules

[06:20-06:40]

• Joanna’s got just one hour to finish the challenge.
• If she’s late to work, someone jokes about rolling her down Peachtree.
• Stakes: $300, notoriety, new microwave, and perhaps a new diaper...

6. The Odds: Previous Winner & Doubt

[06:49-07:04]

• Only one previous champion: a nearly 300-pound guy.
  • Host 4 ([07:01]): “He was 300 pounds… at start or at finish?”

7. Audience Engagement & TV Legend Reference

[07:29-08:32]

• A caller chimes in, naming the TV show “Man vs. Food” and its host: Adam Richman, who attended Emory University.
• The show's notorious 11-pound pizza challenge is discussed—it defeated most challengers, but Adam pulled it off.

8. Joanna at the Starting Line

[08:32-08:35]

• It’s go time for Joanna. The team expresses skepticism and lays predictions:
  • Host 2 ([08:11]): “She won't even get one third of the way through that.”
  • Host 5 ([08:18]): “I say one fifth of it.”

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Host 3 ([01:51]): “You have to finish it before you even walk out of the restaurant in order to get the T-shirt or the sweatshirt or whatever you get as a prize.”
• Joanna ([02:37]): “I finished [the 1-lb burger]...with the bun and the lettuce, tomatoes, all that good stuff.”
• Host 2 ([03:07]): “She’s like five foot one and weighs 90 nothing pounds.”
• Host 5 ([05:01]): “It’s bigger than most chihuahuas I’ve ever seen.”
• Host 2 ([05:43]): “I will bet you right now $200. $200.”
• Joanna ([06:08]): “See, that’s what’s gonna get you is the rice. Cause then the rice is gonna expand in your stomach.”
• Host 4 ([06:28]): “I'll roll you down Peachtree.”
• Caller ([07:43]): “That show is called ‘Man vs. Food’ and the guy's name is Adam, who does it right. He actually went to Emory University in Atlanta.”
• Host 4 ([08:21]): "I'd be fascinated to talk to is the guy Adam's parents who wrote a check for an Emory degree. And now this guy is traveling the country eating food and trying not to puke."

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Important Timestamps

| Timestamp | Segment Summary | |-----------|----------------| | 01:30 | Discussion of eating challenges & big pizza stories | | 02:26 | Joanna brags about having completed a 1-lb burger | | 04:11 | Burrito challenge unveiled: Five-Pound Chihuahua | | 05:43 | Bets are made: $300 pot, new microwave, rules explained | | 06:08 | Joanna strategizes, worries about rice expanding in her stomach | | 06:20 | Time limit clarified: 1 hour to eat | | 06:49 | Only one previous winner (300-lb man), comparison to Joanna | | 07:41 | Caller identifies “Man vs. Food” & its Atlanta connection | | 08:32 | Joanna starts the challenge, team lays their wagers |

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Tone & Delivery

The episode is light-hearted and full of the Bert Show’s signature ribbing, mutual support, and quick wit. Joanna’s can-do attitude is charming, while her colleagues’ skepticism brings energy and laughs. The conversation delivers both food challenge trivia and playful workplace dynamics, making it a classic Bert Show blend of absurdity and authenticity.

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Perfect for:
Listeners who enjoy humorous takes on food culture, underdog challenges, office camaraderie, and fans of competitive eating lore.

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Summary:
With play-by-play banter, big bets, and an even bigger burrito, this episode encapsulates The Bert Show’s fun, real-life storytelling—leaving you curious whether Joanna can turn jaw-dropping confidence into five-pound burrito glory.

Transcript

[Host 1]

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[Host 2]

The Bird show so we were in our post show meeting last weekend. I forget which place has like this incredibly big pizza.

[Host 3]

It's pie in the sky.

[Host 4]

You finish the whole pizza. You get a sweatshirt or something.

[Host 3]

It's a huge pizza, like impossible to finish.

[Host 5]

You have to eat it yourself.

[Host 3]

I think it can be you and somebody else eating this entire pizza, but you have to finish it there and

[Host 5]

it has to be timed or something.

[Host 3]

I'm not sure if it's timed, but I know you have to finish it before you even walk out of the restaurant in order to get the T shirt or the sweatshirt or whatever you get as a prize.

[Host 5]

Some dude on the Discovery Channel has a whole show based around this.

[Host 4]

Oh yeah.

[Host 2]

About eating this one pizza.

[Host 5]

Eating like one thing. Or it'll be like the hottest, like Thai bowl with like, you know, like it makes you sweat and you have to drink milk in order to get it down. And like once you're done with it, they put your picture on the wall. Like, he basically goes around the world to restaurants that have these type of things.

[Host 4]

I think that's why we started talking about the pie in the sky place. Cause he did that pizza.

[Host 5]

He did.

[Host 3]

It was featured.

[Host 5]

What's that dude's name?

[Host 2]

Oh, no, I can't remember. Anyway, join our post show meeting and yeah, we'll be soon. And producer Joanna here, who is the teeniest of anybody on the staff, is like all. I could finish that thing off.

[Joanna]

I absolutely could. Well, I would like to disclaimer. I was really hungry the day we were talking about this. I was starving. And we got on the subject of hamburgers actually first. And I told you guys that I ate the £1 hamburger at Cheeburger. Cheeburger. There used to be one in Alpharetta. And I was like, I finished that thing and I had fries, a whole with the bun and the lettuce, tomatoes, all that good stuff. And what you have to know, what

[Host 2]

you have to know about Joanna here, she's like five foot one and weighs 90 nothing pounds.

[Joanna]

Yes, thank you. That was sweet. Yeah, 90 pounds. She's gonna go with it. Sure, whatever you say.

[Host 2]

But see how smart that was? You see, you always go with it.

[Joanna]

That's good.

[Host 2]

So which kind of surprised all of us that she's like, she thinks that she's like this endless well that can eat and eat and eat and eat, eat and eat.

[Joanna]

I could probably enter an eating contest and beat anybody in an eating contest. So I said, mind you, as my stomach is growling like it is today, good that I could eat that pizza. But they let you eat it with another person because it is that big. And I said, Michelle, Intern Michelle. And I could finish off that pizza. Absolutely. Hands down.

[Host 5]

I love that you call it a pizza.

[Joanna]

Pizza.

[Host 2]

Pizza.

[Host 3]

Pizza.

[Joanna]

Pizza. How do you say it?

[Host 2]

Pizza. Pizza.

[Joanna]

Pizza.

[Host 2]

It's like Carlin Ask and Jeff and Roon.

[Sponsor Voice 1]

You can't say ruin. And he says roon.

[Host 4]

I fixed that because I'm so self conscious now. Melissa Carter.

[Host 2]

Well, I'm glad your stomach is growling this morning because Cantina just opened. It's the old Lola location and they have a burrito there that's five pounds.

[Host 5]

Oof.

[Sponsor Voice 2]

Wow.

[Host 2]

That's a lot that we have brought to you today.

[Joanna]

Oh, God.

[Sponsor Voice 1]

Oh, I'm so glad I didn't eat anything. Look at the size of that thing.

[Host 2]

Wait, I got a tweet. I gotta take a picture.

[Joanna]

Oh, my God.

[Host 2]

That's one burrito that's like the size of my leg.

[Joanna]

That thing is huge.

[Host 5]

Oh, my God.

[Host 3]

That is massive.

[Host 2]

I have gotta take a picture of this thing and tweet it for you guys because you won't believe how huge this is.

[Host 5]

Whoa.

[Host 3]

And that has sour cream on it and salsa and guacamole.

[Host 5]

Amazing.

[Host 2]

Okay. This is a five pound burrito. It is called a whole five pound chihuahua. All right. At the new cake.

[Host 5]

It's bigger than most chihuahuas I've ever seen. Yeah.

[Host 4]

That is the size of a small dog. Tracy's baby when it was born.

[Joanna]

Serious Tom.

[Host 2]

Has anybody come in there yet and actually eaten the whole thing? Here, grab mine.

[Restaurant Staff or Guest]

We've had 10 people try and one finished.

[Host 2]

Really?

[Host 4]

And what was her name? Who finished?

[Restaurant Staff or Guest]

Actually, there's a girl coming Friday. The Try it Korean girl. She reckons she can eat the whole thing. She's seen it.

[Host 2]

Wow.

[Restaurant Staff or Guest]

So she's bringing some press on.

[Host 4]

Well, those Korean people, that's all the Asians who win the eating contest.

[Restaurant Staff or Guest]

They eat dogs too, right?

[Host 2]

I didn't say it.

[Host 4]

I didn't say it.

[Host 1]

I didn't say it.

[Joanna]

I did not.

[Host 2]

We all thought it, but I didn't say it.

[Joanna]

You have to train up for this, though. I wish I'd have known. I would have been eating a little bit of lettuce to try and train up for this. But. Okay, I'll give it a shot.

[Host 2]

There is no. I will bet you right now $200. $200.

[Host 5]

I'll throw in another hundred because there is no way you're going to.

[Joanna]

This is the size of a towel.

[Host 2]

There's 100. There's $300 on the line.

[Host 4]

I'll throw in another 150 from Melissa.

[Host 3]

I'll throw in a dollar.

[Restaurant Staff or Guest]

We'll buy a new microwave.

[Host 2]

If you finish, I'll throw in $1.

[Restaurant Staff or Guest]

Two pounds of meat, one pound of rice, one pound of beans, half a pound of cheese, and the rest is guacamole and salsa.

[Joanna]

See, that's what's gonna get you is the rice. Cause then the rice is gonna expand in your stomach.

[Host 4]

Well, no, like, in about four hours, it's gonna be the beans.

[Host 2]

We will be long gone by this.

[Host 5]

Okay, wait. So.

[Joanna]

Yeah. Do I get a time in restaurant?

[Restaurant Staff or Guest]

Only get one hour.

[Host 2]

One hour.

[Host 5]

One hour.

[Joanna]

I'm gonna Be late to work today. I have to be there at 10:30, so I'll be a little late.

[Host 4]

I'll roll you down, Peachtree.

[Host 2]

Unless you finish it beforehand. But you have till 10:30, and you've got, what, $300 on the line? If you can eat that whole thing by 10:30.

[Host 4]

You can't do it. Don't.

[Host 2]

What's that?

[Restaurant Staff or Guest]

And a new microwave for you.

[Host 2]

And a new microwave. Thank you. We'll need that.

[Joanna]

You're gonna need a new diaper.

[Host 4]

Did that pin fit in our microwave?

[Host 2]

No, no, no.

[Joanna]

That won't fit in a fridge.

[Host 2]

Look at. I've never seen anything that size before in my life. And you said one dude finished that off.

[Restaurant Staff or Guest]

One dude finish it off.

[Host 2]

And how big a guy was he?

[Restaurant Staff or Guest]

He was about a 300 pound guy.

[Host 2]

Yeah.

[Restaurant Staff or Guest]

And we. But we had many big guys try it.

[Host 4]

He was £300. At start or at finish?

[Restaurant Staff or Guest]

He was £295. Thought.

[Caller or Guest]

All right.

[Host 2]

We will tweet this picture. You have one hour. See if you can. If you can pull this off.

[Joanna]

Okay. All right.

[Host 2]

Good luck with that. She won't even get one third of the way through that.

[Host 5]

You're only gonna get through. Yeah.

[Host 1]

It's delicious.

[Host 5]

I say one fifth of it.

[Host 2]

I'm sure it's great, but it's five pounds.

[Host 5]

Yeah, it smells really good. I'm hoping you give up so that I can have a bite.

[Host 4]

I'm sure you can have a bite now. And it's not gonna make a difference.

[Host 2]

For those of you that don't know, Lola's not around anymore. Now it's cantina. It's a taqueria and a tequila bar in Terminus. And this is a five pound burrito they have there. Hey, Kendall. Good Morning. You're on Q100.

[Caller or Guest]

Good morning, guys.

[Host 2]

Good morning.

[Host 1]

Good.

[Caller or Guest]

I just wanted to tell you guys that that show is called man versus Food, and it's one of my favorite. The guy's name is Adam, who does it right. He actually went to Emory University in Atlanta.

[Host 2]

Oh, really?

[Caller or Guest]

He's got a whole. That's a whole biography about him on their website. But the. The challenge that y' all were talking about, it's. It's a huge pizza, obviously, but you have to complete it with two people, and you have to do it within an hour. And they were unable to do it. I think it's an 11 pound pizza. So it's about five and a half pounds of pizza. A person.

[Host 5]

God.

[Caller or Guest]

The other guy quit and Adam did it.

[Host 4]

You know, I'd be fascinated to talk to is the guy Adam's parents who wrote a check for an Emory degree. And now this guy is traveling the country eating food and trying not to puke.

[Host 2]

This is what he's turned it into. All right, Joanna, you're on the clock.

[Host 5]

All right?

[Joanna]

I'm good.

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