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Bert
Visit borhears.com you're on the Burt Show. Inconsequential. That Jeff really doesn't believe Jesse's story here that he's a four and the girl that he goes out with is like a 15. He was. He asks her out, she says yes. He's shocked by that. They go out and Jesse returns from the date and he's like, you know what? She's not everything I thought she was gonna be.
Jeff
He didn't return from the date. At the date, he said, let's just be friends.
Jen
Let's just.
Jeff
They told her they shut it down.
Jen
And you didn't think that it was capable for a guy to do that?
Jeff
I just think it seemed odd that it happened at the first meeting at the fondue house, house of cheese melted
Bert
or whatever it was like at the very end of the whole thing, he just sort of says, you know, he's very honest. And yeah, Jesse, how does that conversation go? Because I think this may be a first in the history of men. At the end of the date, you're with Hadi and how do you begin the conversation? That look, it certainly seems to me that we're better as friends than we would be. Something Else.
Jesse
Well, basically, it just starts as, so, what do you think about me? And then she asked the same thing, and I just. I was just honest with her, and we had the same interest in each other. So.
Jeff
So.
Bert
So she was sort of lukewarm about the whole thing. You were sensing that, and you're like. You were lukewarm also. So you said, let's just be friends then.
Jesse
Yeah. Yeah.
Bert
Okay.
Jen
All right.
Jesse
You know, I mean, there's. There's really no point in trying to waste any more time. Okay.
Wendy
He's trying to find a good girl. He doesn't care about looks, anything else.
Bert
That's what he said.
Wendy
He's a good girl.
Bert
You're a good Christian guy. The looks things not important to you. The sex thing is not important to you. And that's not what you're interested in. You're interested in a woman with more substance. Right?
Jesse
Exactly.
Bert
Okay. That's so hard to believe. Jeff$mm. Which part? Which part?
Jeff
I. I just find it. There are a couple places where this story just seems unbelievable to me. So usually in my BSO meter, if you've got one thing where I believe because I've learned to believe things that I never thought would be believable, listening to people who call this show. But the first time, when he says, do you want to study? And then she responds with, do you want to take me on a date? That's kind of unbelievable. But cool. It could happen, right?
Jen
It's possible.
Jeff
And then they go to the.
Bert
Here's why I believe that part of the story is right. Just before you go on is that he sent us a picture of the 15, and he sent us a picture of himself. And in looking at her, I don't think there's that much of a discrepancy between the two of them. Right. So the fact that he was shocked that she said, let's go out on a date doesn't surprise me that much because she's not that much better looking of a woman than he is a dude. Right.
Jen
He just perceived it that way.
Bert
You think?
Jeff
Yes. Allow me to propose this hypothesized thing. Allow my hypothesize myself. I am shocked. And then just adding to the unbelievability in my mind of the whole thing. Did I say that word really slow?
Wendy
Yes.
Bert
Yeah. I think you might have had a minor stroke.
Jeff
The fact that they are on the same scale and she might not be the 15 that we were expecting shocks me somewhat that she would have the confidence to say, you want to ask me On a date. Because generally speaking, maybe she's in who she is. And then they go to the cheese place and they have their dinner and everything. And then at the end of that, they have a conversation about the future of the relationship. It just seems very. Arranged marriage in Mumbai.
Bert
It's an anomaly for sure. But if the story's true, then the story is true.
Jeff
You're an anomaly.
Bert
I showed you guys her picture yesterday, right?
Jen
Right. Oh, I didn't see this. Okay.
Bert
This is who Jesse thought was a 15.
Jen
Awesome.
Bert
Okay.
Jen
She's a beautiful girl.
Jeff
And that is who we thought was Jesse for a minute.
Jen
Oh, that's why you were shocked at first. You were like, that's Jesse.
Bert
Well, Tracy just. I mean, he sent that picture and Tracy didn't want to call him back and go, are you sure this is you? Because you look really feminine. You look like a woman.
Jen
She has like long brown hair. She has glasses on. Cute, pretty smile.
Bert
Yeah, she's cute, you know? So then he sent a picture of himself.
Jesse
And you're how old right now? I'm 20.
Bert
20 years old right now.
Jeff
How old were you last year?
Jesse
Strange way to answer last year. Well, I was 19 for part of the year and 20 for the other part.
Wendy
Okay.
Bert
When do you turn 21?
Jesse
I turned 21 June 12th.
Bert
And I'm assuming you're not a drinker.
Jesse
No, not like really a drinker.
Bert
Okay. And this is the picture of Jesse that will go up on our website if you want to take a look at him.
Wendy
Okay.
Bert
All right. First I want to tell you that you're. You're. You're not the four that you say that you are.
Jen
You're definitely not the four.
Bert
Yeah. I mean, Wendy, if she got a hold of you over a weekend, she could boosh you out so badly. You'd be the hottest dude.
Wendy
I'll give you some hair gel.
Jeff
I would actually be. I would be entertained to see that. Have Wendy give him a booshover, like a makeover. That would be fun.
Jen
Jesse, would you be up for that?
Jesse
Sure.
Jeff
You can go through Wendy's bouch o matic.
Jesse
Okay.
Bert
He's not a bad looking kid, right? Yeah. So you got to get past that dude. You got this image thing going on that you're not a good. You're not a four.
Jesse
Okay.
Bert
You're not. You're a decent looking dude, man.
Jesse
Well, thank you.
Jeff
What would you rank them, Bert?
Bert
I'd say you're a six plus man.
Jeff
Seven.
Bert
Six plus. Close to a seven. Seven is average, right?
Jeff
Yeah.
Bert
Yeah. Six plus. Seven. You're not a four, dude.
Jeff
Six. Seven. Seven.
Beth
Five.
Jen
Wait till Wendy gets a hold of him.
Wendy
Yeah, I know.
Jen
Put him in some designer jeans, get
Wendy
you an airbrush tan.
Jen
We talking like the Jersey Shore?
Bert
So what is Jesse all about? You said you're a Christian. You go to church every Sunday?
Jesse
Oh, yeah, that's guaranteed.
Bert
Tell us more about. Because we got a whole bunch of emails and calls from women that are like, that's the kind of guy I'm looking for.
Jesse
Okay, well, what do you guys want to know? I mean, I'm currently enrolled in college. I'm working on my degree in criminal justice. Tried to get into the military earlier in my life and that didn't work out due to some medical reasons. So I figured I'd do the next best thing and be a police officer.
Jen
Cool.
Jesse
I don't know. I pretty much like everything. There's nothing that I won't at least try to do. I like all kinds of movies. I don't know. You guys ask me questions. I'll tell you what you want to know.
Bert
What's a typical Friday or Saturday night like for you?
Jesse
Well, for the past. Since February of last year, typical Friday night is sitting at home watching tv.
Bert
We don't want that for you.
Wendy
No. What do you look for in a girl? Like, what are you looking for?
Jesse
Honesty is the very most important thing. Followed closely by a Christian background, Christian beliefs.
Jeff
Do you like large boobs or small?
Jesse
Honestly, I don't really have a preference.
Bert
Boobs are irrelevant. You are an anomaly.
Jeff
You're an ass man, huh?
Jesse
No, not really.
Jen
See, Jeff, he's a nice, respectful boy.
Bert
He thinks a little deeper than you do. Okay, not about the TNA for him.
Jen
Damn.
Jesse
It's about the relationship, man.
Wendy
See, Personality.
Jen
Just focus on that. Maybe you'd have a better relationship.
Bert
You're not really selling yourself in this huge way that I was hoping that you were gonna sell. Man, I don't feel like I know anything else about you.
Jesse
Well, what do you want to know? I mean, I don't really know how to sell myself. You help me out, guy.
Bert
You ever had your heart broken?
Jesse
Yes. Yes.
Bert
Tell us about it.
Jesse
Oh, that was horrible.
Wendy
What happened?
Jesse
Started going out with this really nice girl who claimed she was a Christian. And she just was really nice at the very beginning. Really liked her. And as time progressed, she slowly started to change until she ended up cheating on me with her ex.
Bert
So do you sometimes get labeled as the too nice guy? Like, girls look at you and they put you right into the friend zone.
Jesse
It's happened before. I try to stay out of the friend zone if possible, but it usually ends up there.
Bert
Mm hmm. I got this email that I gotta read later on from a woman that insists that you shouldn't date Christian guys.
Jen
What?
Wendy
Really?
Bert
Yeah.
Beth
Why is that?
Bert
I won't have time to cover it right now. She's got a whole list of reasons.
Jeff
Is that when I forwarded you yesterday?
Bert
Yeah, we all got it.
Jeff
That's crazy.
Bert
She's had a bad time with Christian guys and says do not do it.
Jen
So she's after the Jews.
Bert
I'm not sure.
Jen
Wow.
Bert
But I'll read it later.
Jen
I think Jesse seems like a sweet guy. I mean, he just seems. He seems like. I don't want to use the word simple, but he just seems like he's like cool to get along in any sort of situation and ready to roll.
Jeff
Well, you're single and have kind of pedophilia tendencies these days.
Jen
I do not.
Jeff
Cougar.
Jen
First of all, you cannot be a cougar until you're 40.
Bert
That's not true, puma. Yes, it is.
Jen
I'm a puma if that's the case. But I wouldn't date anybody. 20.
Jeff
Jesse, you think you can handle a little hobby?
Jen
Jessie is far too young for me.
Jeff
She's a good Christian girl.
Bert
You couldn't keep up with Jen hobby? I couldn't have this.
Jeff
She has the tangle.
Wendy
She'd be in a scary situation.
Bert
You'd be so sc.
Jeff
She keeps commandments.
Jesse
Keep up with me.
Jen
Oh, I think you're right. I think you're right, Jesse.
Bert
Hey, Beth, help me out here.
Beth
Hey guys, listen, we have questions for him. I'm married, so I'm currently. I'm not looking for anyone today, but I have friends that are. And I mean, they want to know how policy does he. Is he into sports? I mean, does he have a favorite team? Those are the things that they want to know.
Jeff
Saints.
Beth
What?
Wendy
Jesse, do you like sports? Jesse? Jesse, do you like sports?
Jesse
Do I like sports? Yes. For the most part. I'm not a big sports activist aside from mountain biking and skateboarding and things like that. I like to try to keep active as possible.
Bert
I think we're gonna have to do. We'll have him write a profile and we'll put it up online.
Wendy
Like one of those online dating profiles?
Bert
Yeah. There you go. Okay, maybe you can take one. Would you help us with this, Wendy? Like the next time you're on eharmony, will you just print off one of those applications that I know that you spent a lot of time on.
Jeff
Let me tell you, Wendy's not a me Harmony girl. She's a Craigslist lady.
Bert
Of course, Casual encounters. So we'll. We'll send that to you, and then we'll put it up there with your picture. And if there are women that still want to go out with you, man, then we'll set this thing up for you, dude.
Jesse
Okay, sounds great.
Bert
All right, Jesse, have a good weekend watching tv, and we'll talk to you next week, man.
Jesse
All right, you too, guys.
Bert
Okay, bye. Bye. Yeah, this email that I got from this virtual listener said, do not date Christian men, no matter what.
Jen
That's weird.
Bert
Christian guys. I'll read the whole thing later. Christian guys are the pickiest, harshest judges of women I've ever known. As a Christian woman, let me tell you more. My theory is that these men are waiting for this angel that they have in their head. She says, stay away from Christian guys. Wow. Read it to you guys in a little bit. Listen, it's the virtue.
In this lively episode, the Bert Show crew tries to help Jesse—a self-described "four"—find a date. The hosts dig into Jesse’s recent date experience, his thoughts on relationships, and his values, while debating whether his story about dating “out of his league” holds up. The team discusses image, online dating, honesty, and the challenges of being “the nice guy.” The conversation is fun, real, and sharply insightful, full of playful banter and heartfelt moments as they get to know Jesse and try to set him up.
This episode of The Bert Show is a classic blend of heartfelt authenticity and raucous humor, spotlighting Jesse—a sincere, self-effacing young man looking for love beyond superficialities. The cast challenges his low self-image, encourages self-confidence, and pledges to help him find a compatible date through online matchmaking. Along the way, they dig into perceptions about looks, the pressures of dating, and the pros and cons of being the “nice guy”—all while keeping the laughs and real talk flowing.
Perfect for listeners who enjoy genuine conversation, a bit of matchmaking, and an honest look at how young people today navigate dating, faith, and friendship.