The Bert Show - Vault: Can Witnessing Childbirth Change Your Sex Life?
Episode Date: March 6, 2026
Main Theme:
This episode dives into the real and sometimes unspoken effects that witnessing childbirth can have on a couple’s sex life—especially from the perspective of new fathers. Through caller stories, candid host confessions, and audience participation, the show explores whether watching a partner give birth can alter sexual attraction or intimacy, why this happens, and how to navigate the challenges that may arise.
Key Discussion Points & Insights
1. The Listener Dilemma
- [00:58] Caller "Ashley" calls in, sharing her experience post-childbirth:
- Gave birth six months ago; sex life with her husband hasn’t resumed, extending back to the late stages of her pregnancy.
- Husband gives reasons: tiredness, being overwhelmed, promising “things will change after a while.”
- A co-worker suggested that seeing the birth might have “turned him off,” leading Ashley to ask: Can witnessing childbirth actually traumatize a man and affect intimacy?
2. Host and Caller Perspectives on Post-Birth Intimacy
- [02:39] Bert (Host):
- Shares that he wasn’t into pregnancy intimacy either, finding it “freaky” and “uncomfortable.”
- Quote: “The angles are odd... I’m not good at it to begin with, and that was the advanced course.” (02:59–03:01)
- Witnessing childbirth didn’t have a negative effect on him personally—he found it “fascinating.”
- [03:37] Bert’s Friend’s Story:
- Friend was cautioned to “not look” during delivery but couldn’t resist.
- Result: For six months post-birth he struggled with sexual attraction, haunted by the birth images.
- Quote: “He couldn’t shake the image out of his head. And that part for him just became anything but sexual.” (03:38–04:07)
3. Callers Share Their Stories
- [04:28] "Emily":
- Went through similar struggles; post-birth, her partner was put off due to vivid birth memories.
- Stresses the need for open communication: “I think that she really needs to talk to her husband... open up and ask him why.” (04:30–05:27)
- [05:51] "Scott":
- Shares he was “traumatized” by what he saw:
- Quote: “He saw things he shouldn’t have seen. It’s going to take a little while. He’s traumatized. It’ll be all right, I promise.” (05:51–06:06)
- Explains from the male perspective: being prompted to “look” at the “business end” disrupted sexual associations for a while.
- Shares he was “traumatized” by what he saw:
4. Biological Shifts and Male Psychology
- [06:36] Bert (Host):
- Discusses how seeing a partner’s body "functionally" (as opposed to sexually) can be jarring and hard to reconcile.
- Quote: “...to see it in a way that we haven’t seen it before like that—functional. There for what it’s supposed to be there for—it’s a little tough to shake some of those images.” (06:36–07:02)
- [07:10] Discussion:
- Comparing watching pre-birth videos (in Lamaze/health class) to being present emotionally and physically for the real event—“It’s the difference between watching a football game and being in the football game.” (07:17–07:21)
- Melissa (Co-host): to her, it’s more “biology class” than sexual; not surprised by male reactions but doesn’t share them herself.
5. Cultural Context: Fathers in the Delivery Room
- [08:31] Looking Back:
- Recognize that it’s a fairly recent development (one generation) for partners to be present during delivery, versus waiting outside.
- Melissa: Wonders how this change is impacting relationships and expectations.
6. Reframing the Problem: Is Birth Trauma the Real Issue?
- [08:58] "Miranda" (Caller):
- Suggests that exhaustion, life changes, and new parent overwhelm may play a bigger role than just the birth images.
- Advice: “Talk to your husband. There’s probably another reason... he’s probably overwhelmed with being a new dad. There’s probably a lot of things other than just images in his head.” (08:58–09:42)
7. Key Takeaways and Practical Advice
- [09:59] Communication:
- With men often reluctant to talk to peers about sexual issues or emotional insecurity, the only person a husband might confide in is his wife.
- [10:10] Melissa:
- Reassures Ashley and listeners: “...everybody that’s called, Bert’s friend, the guys that have called, that said if that is the issue, they get over it. It’s not like this is going to be a permanent thing.”
- [10:34] Bert (Host):
- Encourages “sitting him down in a nurturing way and talking with him about it to where he’s feeling comfortable.”
- [10:37] Melissa (joking): “And maybe a trip to Victoria’s Secret.”
8. Cautionary Humor on Body Image
- [10:50] Bert (Host):
- Issues a joking but pointed warning: If weight gain or appearance is the issue, “take that to the grave”; never admit it to your partner.
- Quote: “You better take that to the grave. Never, never, never... Don’t believe women when they say they want 100% honesty. That is a lie right there. You can lie there.” (10:50–11:42)
- Melissa agrees: “Yeah, we want you to lie about our bodies and say that they're great.”
Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments
-
Bert (Host), on awkward pregnancy sex:
“The angles are odd... that was the advanced course.” (02:59–03:01)
-
Bert’s Friend’s Dilemma:
“He couldn't shake the image out of his head. And that part for him just became anything but sexual.” (03:38–04:07)
-
Emily, on communication:
“I think that she really needs to talk to her husband... open up and ask him why.” (04:30–05:27)
-
Scott, on birth trauma:
“He saw things he shouldn’t have seen. It's going to take a little while. He's traumatized. It'll be all right, I promise.” (05:51–06:06)
-
Bert, on “functional” body image:
“There for what it's supposed to be there for—it’s a little tough to shake some of those images.” (06:55–07:02)
-
Melissa, summing up the hope:
“If that is the issue, they get over it... It’s not like this is going to be a permanent thing.” (10:01–10:10)
-
Bert, lighthearted advice:
“You better take that to the grave. Never, never, never... Don’t believe women when they say they want 100% honesty. That is a lie right there. You can lie there.” (10:50–11:42)
Timestamps for Important Segments
- [00:58] – Ashley’s call and question
- [02:38] – Bert and Melissa on their own pregnancy/childbirth perspectives
- [03:37] – Bert tells his California friend’s story
- [04:28] – Emily on the aftermath of childbirth and need for communication
- [05:51] – Scott’s candid male perspective
- [06:36] – Bert on the jarring shift from sexual to functional body images
- [07:21] – Melissa compares learning to the real delivery experience
- [08:31] – Reflection on fathers newly being present at childbirth
- [08:58] – Miranda’s suggestion: look beyond the trauma theory
- [09:59] – Discussion on men’s reluctance to open up
- [10:10] – Melissa and Bert: “It goes away”
- [10:50] – Bert and Melissa: comic advice on honesty vs. kindness
Summary & Takeaways
- Witnessing childbirth can temporarily impact a father’s sexuality or attraction due to intense, vivid images and the transformation of a partner’s body from sexual to functional in the moment.
- Most participants find that these issues resolve themselves over time; open, nurturing communication is crucial, as is patience.
- Not all men react the same way; for some, the trauma is real, for others, the birth is beautiful or even arousing. External stress and new parenthood can be equally important factors.
- Honest but gentle communication between partners is the suggested approach; never blame pregnancy weight gain or make insensitive remarks.
- Ultimately, intimacy challenges post-childbirth are common, and most couples overcome them with time and empathy.
Tone:
As always with The Bert Show, the conversation is candid, laced with humor, and not afraid to tackle taboos—yet retains a core of understanding and practical advice.
