The Bert Show: "Vault: Can You Guess What A-List Celebrity Bert's Friend Is Dating?"

Release Date: December 17, 2025

Main Theme & Purpose

This episode centers around the ongoing saga of Bert's friend Aaron, who recently began dating a mystery A-list celebrity. The Bert Show team recaps Aaron's whirlwind encounters, teases out juicy details, and collectively speculates about the identity and fate of the romance. The episode is lighthearted and playful, mixing authentic reactions with a behind-the-scenes look at how everyday people handle brushes with fame and near-Hollywood romance.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Recap: Aaron’s Surprising Brush with Fame

• [01:53] The hosts summarize Aaron’s recent experiences with the A-list celebrity, reliving her first encounters, their initial chemistry, and some notable dates.
  • Aaron’s story so far (Aaron, narrating): She met the celebrity while he was filming in her neighborhood. After a casual introduction, his assistant asked for her number so they could invite her out for drinks.
  • The first hotel meetup: Aaron recounts an unexpectedly gentlemanly evening, including room service and polite conversation:
    • "He’s being a complete gentleman, right?" – Host [02:46]
    • "Complete gentleman." – Aaron [02:48]

2. Play-by-Play of the Budding Relationship

• [02:29–04:35] Aaron details a sequence of dates and near-misses with her celebrity suitor:
  • Restaurant and bar hangouts, being introduced to his friends, and a memorable moment when the celebrity intervened with a rude guest at a bar.
    • "This girl is talking about nonsense and he grabs her cigarette and puts it out. And he said, hey, did you meet my friend Aaron?" – Aaron [03:46]
  • Their first kiss:
    • "He’s like, I’ve been thinking about you all day. Like, you just drive me crazy. And he said, is it okay if I kiss you?" – Aaron [03:51]

3. Where Do Things Stand Now?

• [06:22–07:27] After the initial excitement, communication has stalled.
  • Aaron updates the team: No recent calls, and the celebrity is still away filming.
    • "Yeah, I mean, there hasn’t been a phone call. Nothing’s happening. He’s still... in Chesapeake Bay area filming, and he’s supposed to be back in D.C., I believe, later on this week." – Aaron [06:56]
• Bert empathizes with her uncertainty; co-hosts check in about her feelings.
  • "Are you okay?" – Host [07:09]
  • "At least you got to kiss him, you know?" – Female Co-host [07:33]
  • "Yeah, exactly. No, I’m okay." – Aaron [07:36]

4. Candid Reflections & Relationship Realism

• [07:48–09:49] Aaron and the team explore “what-ifs” and emotional repercussions:
  • Should Aaron have rushed things for a “bragging rights” story?
    • "I mean, yeah, I guess there’s a part of me that was like, maybe I should have, but... Nah, I don’t know. I don’t. I don’t think so. And I think I’ve made the right decision. I don’t think I want to be on that list." – Aaron [07:56]
  • The team jokes about the celebrity’s dating habits, keeping the mood light.
    • "Only you and 970 other girls this year can say that." – Jeff [07:38]
• “Playing hard to get” and double standards for women dating celebrities.
  • "If a celebrity took me out ... I’m seizing the moment because I don’t want to regret in the future... Don’t do it. So yeah, I... I’m sorry. I would." – Female Co-host [09:20]

5. Is the Celebrity REALLY 'All That'?

• [10:22–10:55] Honesty time: Would Aaron be into this guy if he wasn’t famous?
  • "Again, I want to say this, that if this guy wasn’t this guy, and he ended up at a bar... This is not a guy that you’d be like, I need to be with him." – Host [10:22]
  • "No, no. I think he’s attractive. ...But if he wasn’t an A-lister, I don’t think I’d be sweating it." – Aaron [10:55]

6. Self-Control, Waiting, and Next Steps

• [11:14–13:10] Aaron affirms she hasn’t tried to contact her celebrity crush, despite temptation, and promises to update the team if anything changes.
  • "None, I promise. I cross my heart. I have not called." – Aaron [11:19]
  • If nothing comes of it, Aaron jokingly says she’ll share the celebrity’s number for the team’s efforts.
    • "If he never calls me, of course I’ll let you unleash on him." – Aaron [11:43]
  • The show resolves to check in again next week to see if “DC happens.”

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Bert’s tongue-in-cheek take on post-celebrity encounters:
  • "Now, in retrospect, do you wish that you would have thrown yourself on him when you went up to the hotel room and just, like, you know, got ...bragging rights?" [07:48]
• Aaron’s calm and grounded perspective:
  • "It wasn’t like I was standing there kissing him, thinking, you know, what our kids were gonna look like or anything like that. I definitely was enjoying the moment. And if he doesn’t call, it’s okay. I had a good time." [09:58]
• The hosts debating 'playing hard to get' with celebrities:
  • "If you make them troll a little bit, ...you make it a fight, then I think you got them." – Host [12:12]
  • "You play hard to get." – Melissa [12:25]

Important Segment Timestamps

• [01:53] — Melissa recaps Aaron’s journey with the A-list celebrity so far
• [02:04 - 04:35] — Aaron narrates her first encounters and the memorable “first kiss” moment
• [06:22] — Aaron returns live to update everyone on where things stand
• [07:48] — The team debates “what-if” scenarios and the best way Aaron could have played things
• [10:22] — Honest conversation: Would Aaron be into the guy if he weren’t famous?
• [11:19] — Aaron reveals she hasn’t called or reached out
• [12:12] — Show consensus: Aaron played things right, and they’ll check back next week

Tone & Style

True to The Bert Show style, the episode is fast-paced, teasing, and brimming with friendly banter. The hosts' mix of curiosity, humor, and genuine interest creates a lively atmosphere. Aaron maintains a level-headed, positive attitude throughout—even amid speculation and jokes at her expense.

Summary Takeaway

This episode pulls back the curtain on what it’s like when an everyday person gets a shot at dating a celebrity—and how exhilarating, yet anxiety-inducing, the experience can be. The show celebrates Aaron’s choice to stay grounded and not get swept up in the allure of fame, while everyone waits breathlessly to see if "DC happens" and the mystery A-lister comes calling again.

“If he doesn’t call, it’s okay. I had a good time.” – Aaron [09:58]

Listeners are left guessing the celebrity’s identity, rooting for Aaron, and reminded that sometimes, the real story is what happens after the fairytale moment ends.