The Bert Show: Vault - Charlie & Heather (Pt 3)

Date: November 6, 2025
Host: Bert (and The Bert Show cast)
Guests: Charlie & Heather

Episode Overview

This episode serves as the emotional conclusion to the Charlie & Heather saga—a recurring listener drama about love, trust, misunderstandings, and a surprise proposal. After a weekend rife with rumors, misunderstandings, and family entanglements, both Charlie and Heather join the show live to unravel what actually happened, culminating in Charlie’s heartfelt proposal.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

Clearing Up the Rumors About Scott

• (01:23) Bert recaps that Charlie had called Heather’s sister to discover whether Scott (Heather's ex-fiancé) would be at the restaurant in St. Louis.
• (01:38) Heather calmly clarifies:
  • Scott is indeed her ex-fiancé and he was at the birthday party she attended.
  • The critical piece: Heather's sister Leah is now dating Scott, and it’s actually become a serious relationship over the past six months.
• (02:16) Friend 1 helps clarify for listeners:

  "When you say seeing Scott, you're meaning seeing him at family functions because he's now your sister's boyfriend."

• Heather confirms:

  "Exactly. I mean, there's no romantic involvement between me and Scott." (02:16)

How Rumors Started

• (02:25) Bert brings up a coworker’s tip that Heather had been "hanging out" with Scott for months.
• Heather explains the misunderstanding:
  • She had discussed her sister's new relationship and moving plans with a friend at work.
  • "Kelly," the coworker, overheard parts and mistakenly assumed romantic involvement between Heather and Scott.
  • The idea that Heather planned to move was also a misinterpretation—her sister (not Heather) was moving back to St. Louis.
  • Heather states:

    "She just must have heard bits and pieces. I don't know how she heard it, but..." (02:54)

The Restaurant Proposal Drama

• (03:26) Bert reminds the cast that, even with all the rumors, “we still don't know what happens at the restaurant.”

• (03:31 – 04:30) Heather recounts:

  • She learned, from friends listening to the show, that Charlie was planning to propose.
  • She tried to call Charlie but only reached his voicemail.
  • Worried, she went to the party venue early, confirmed with the manager that Charlie was going to propose.
  • She waited for Charlie, pulled him aside, and suggested they talk privately.
  • Heather revealed she’d found out about his plan and admitted:

    "I basically said that I didn't want him to go through with it today or that day only because I felt like it had been ruined. The special quality had been taken from it because I found out..." (04:33 – 05:11)

• She explains the romantic appeal of the original proposal in Seattle (at the Space Needle), and how this proposal no longer carried that same “special” feeling because the surprise was lost.

Charlie’s Emotional Response & Proposal

• (05:16) Bert invites Charlie to share his side.

• Charlie delivers a deeply personal monologue to Heather:

  "Heather… it is amazing that days, months, years went by and I was able to survive without you in my life. I realize now that the day I met you, I was born. And I cannot imagine even one minute not having you in my world or one day holding you in my arms. I will wait forever for you, and that's what it takes, because your love is worth my eternity. But please don't make me wait. I mean, I hope today that you will say yes. When I ask you out there, will you parent me?" (05:30 – 06:15)

• (06:15) Heather immediately says:

  "Of course I will."

• The emotion in the room is evident, with Bert humorously noting:

  "If you just said, no, man, no more air time. No more air time." (06:17)

The Proposal’s Grand Twist

• (06:35) Charlie orchestrates several surprises for Heather (over the phone!):

  • He directs Heather to a dresser in her bedroom where a ring box awaits.

    "You know the dresser right next to the bed on the right side… you see that little box next to the radio? Open that." (06:35)

  • Heather finds the ring:

    "Oh, my goodness. Oh, it's the ring… Oh my gosh. It's beautiful." (06:47 – 07:05)

  • Next, Charlie asks her to look out her window:

    "Can you go to your window, my living room, and look outside on the street?" (07:05)

  • She sees a stretch black limo waiting for her, and Charlie reveals:

    "Pack a bag… I already called your boss, and the limo driver had been listening… you have the day off and get in the limo and I will meet you in half an hour." (07:30 – 07:46)

  • He refuses to reveal where they are going:

    "That's a surprise." (07:48)

• Heather is overwhelmed, joking:

  "If I could get my fiance to plan dinner, I'm excited. Oh, my God. How are you planning these things?" (07:15)

Goodbyes & Good Wishes

• (08:02 – 08:10)
  • Bert and the crew congratulate Charlie and Heather, with friendly banter and support.
  • Heather to Charlie:

    "Way to go, big guy." (08:04)

  • Bert, closing the segment:

    "Congratulations. We'll see you later." (08:08)

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Heather on clarifying rumors:

  "There's no romantic involvement between me and Scott." (02:16)

• Charlie’s proposal:

  "I realize now that the day I met you, I was born. And I cannot imagine even one minute not having you in my world or one day holding you in my arms." (05:30 – 06:15)

• Heather’s joy:

  "Oh, my God. How are you planning these things? There is a enormous stretch black limo." (07:14 – 07:30)

• Bert's playful threat:

  "If you just said, no, man, no more air time. No more air time." (06:17)

Important Segment Timestamps

• 01:23 – Rumors about Scott and Heather explained
• 02:54 – How the moving rumor started and misunderstanding at work
• 03:31 – 05:11 – Restaurant proposal, Heather’s side of the miscommunication
• 05:16 – 06:15 – Charlie’s monologue and heartfelt proposal
• 06:35 – 07:46 – The discovery of the ring, the limo, and surprise getaway
• 08:02 – 08:10 – Congratulations and wrap-up

Tone & Style

The episode maintains The Bert Show’s signature blend of humor, honesty, and heartwarming authenticity. The tone is light, occasionally playful, but deeply sincere—especially during Charlie’s emotional proposal.

Summary

This episode gives listeners the emotional payoff they’ve waited for through the Charlie & Heather story arc: misunderstandings are cleared, intentions are honestly revealed, and Charlie’s epic, carefully orchestrated proposal sets the stage for a new chapter. Listeners are left with a sense of joy, surprise, and the goofy-earnest charm that is classic Bert Show.