Vault: Charlie & Heather (Pt 3)

Summary

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The Bert Show: Vault - Charlie & Heather (Pt 3)

Date: November 6, 2025
Host: Bert (and The Bert Show cast)
Guests: Charlie & Heather

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Episode Overview

This episode serves as the emotional conclusion to the Charlie & Heather saga—a recurring listener drama about love, trust, misunderstandings, and a surprise proposal. After a weekend rife with rumors, misunderstandings, and family entanglements, both Charlie and Heather join the show live to unravel what actually happened, culminating in Charlie’s heartfelt proposal.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

Clearing Up the Rumors About Scott

• (01:23) Bert recaps that Charlie had called Heather’s sister to discover whether Scott (Heather's ex-fiancé) would be at the restaurant in St. Louis.
• (01:38) Heather calmly clarifies:
  • Scott is indeed her ex-fiancé and he was at the birthday party she attended.
  • The critical piece: Heather's sister Leah is now dating Scott, and it’s actually become a serious relationship over the past six months.
• (02:16) Friend 1 helps clarify for listeners:

  "When you say seeing Scott, you're meaning seeing him at family functions because he's now your sister's boyfriend."

• Heather confirms:

  "Exactly. I mean, there's no romantic involvement between me and Scott." (02:16)

How Rumors Started

• (02:25) Bert brings up a coworker’s tip that Heather had been "hanging out" with Scott for months.
• Heather explains the misunderstanding:
  • She had discussed her sister's new relationship and moving plans with a friend at work.
  • "Kelly," the coworker, overheard parts and mistakenly assumed romantic involvement between Heather and Scott.
  • The idea that Heather planned to move was also a misinterpretation—her sister (not Heather) was moving back to St. Louis.
  • Heather states:

    "She just must have heard bits and pieces. I don't know how she heard it, but..." (02:54)

The Restaurant Proposal Drama

• (03:26) Bert reminds the cast that, even with all the rumors, “we still don't know what happens at the restaurant.”

• (03:31 – 04:30) Heather recounts:

  • She learned, from friends listening to the show, that Charlie was planning to propose.
  • She tried to call Charlie but only reached his voicemail.
  • Worried, she went to the party venue early, confirmed with the manager that Charlie was going to propose.
  • She waited for Charlie, pulled him aside, and suggested they talk privately.
  • Heather revealed she’d found out about his plan and admitted:

    "I basically said that I didn't want him to go through with it today or that day only because I felt like it had been ruined. The special quality had been taken from it because I found out..." (04:33 – 05:11)

• She explains the romantic appeal of the original proposal in Seattle (at the Space Needle), and how this proposal no longer carried that same “special” feeling because the surprise was lost.

Charlie’s Emotional Response & Proposal

• (05:16) Bert invites Charlie to share his side.

• Charlie delivers a deeply personal monologue to Heather:

  "Heather… it is amazing that days, months, years went by and I was able to survive without you in my life. I realize now that the day I met you, I was born. And I cannot imagine even one minute not having you in my world or one day holding you in my arms. I will wait forever for you, and that's what it takes, because your love is worth my eternity. But please don't make me wait. I mean, I hope today that you will say yes. When I ask you out there, will you parent me?" (05:30 – 06:15)

• (06:15) Heather immediately says:

  "Of course I will."

• The emotion in the room is evident, with Bert humorously noting:

  "If you just said, no, man, no more air time. No more air time." (06:17)

The Proposal’s Grand Twist

• (06:35) Charlie orchestrates several surprises for Heather (over the phone!):

  • He directs Heather to a dresser in her bedroom where a ring box awaits.

    "You know the dresser right next to the bed on the right side… you see that little box next to the radio? Open that." (06:35)

  • Heather finds the ring:

    "Oh, my goodness. Oh, it's the ring… Oh my gosh. It's beautiful." (06:47 – 07:05)

  • Next, Charlie asks her to look out her window:

    "Can you go to your window, my living room, and look outside on the street?" (07:05)

  • She sees a stretch black limo waiting for her, and Charlie reveals:

    "Pack a bag… I already called your boss, and the limo driver had been listening… you have the day off and get in the limo and I will meet you in half an hour." (07:30 – 07:46)

  • He refuses to reveal where they are going:

    "That's a surprise." (07:48)

• Heather is overwhelmed, joking:

  "If I could get my fiance to plan dinner, I'm excited. Oh, my God. How are you planning these things?" (07:15)

Goodbyes & Good Wishes

• (08:02 – 08:10)
  • Bert and the crew congratulate Charlie and Heather, with friendly banter and support.
  • Heather to Charlie:

    "Way to go, big guy." (08:04)

  • Bert, closing the segment:

    "Congratulations. We'll see you later." (08:08)

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Heather on clarifying rumors:

  "There's no romantic involvement between me and Scott." (02:16)

• Charlie’s proposal:

  "I realize now that the day I met you, I was born. And I cannot imagine even one minute not having you in my world or one day holding you in my arms." (05:30 – 06:15)

• Heather’s joy:

  "Oh, my God. How are you planning these things? There is a enormous stretch black limo." (07:14 – 07:30)

• Bert's playful threat:

  "If you just said, no, man, no more air time. No more air time." (06:17)

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Important Segment Timestamps

• 01:23 – Rumors about Scott and Heather explained
• 02:54 – How the moving rumor started and misunderstanding at work
• 03:31 – 05:11 – Restaurant proposal, Heather’s side of the miscommunication
• 05:16 – 06:15 – Charlie’s monologue and heartfelt proposal
• 06:35 – 07:46 – The discovery of the ring, the limo, and surprise getaway
• 08:02 – 08:10 – Congratulations and wrap-up

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Tone & Style

The episode maintains The Bert Show’s signature blend of humor, honesty, and heartwarming authenticity. The tone is light, occasionally playful, but deeply sincere—especially during Charlie’s emotional proposal.

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Summary

This episode gives listeners the emotional payoff they’ve waited for through the Charlie & Heather story arc: misunderstandings are cleared, intentions are honestly revealed, and Charlie’s epic, carefully orchestrated proposal sets the stage for a new chapter. Listeners are left with a sense of joy, surprise, and the goofy-earnest charm that is classic Bert Show.

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Transcript

[Friend 1]

Dude, did you order the new iPhone 17 Pro? Got it from Verizon, the best 5G network in America. I never looked so good.

[Heather]

You look the same.

[Friend 1]

But with this camera, everything looks better. Especially me.

[Heather]

You haven't changed your hair in 15 years. Selfies check, please.

[Verizon Announcer]

With Verizon, get the new iPhone 17 Pro. Designed to be the most powerful iPhone ever. Plus a new iPad and Apple One. No trade in needed. Offer ends November 5th with a new line on Unlimited Ultimate Best 5G Tours. Route metrics, data, United States. One each, 2025. All rights reserved. Additional terms apply for all offers. See verizon.com for details.

[Zyn Nicotine Announcer]

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[Radio Host (Burt)]

The Burt show in part three of Charlie and Heather, after an entire weekend, we finally get them both on the radio together to explain exactly what happened and what went wrong and what went right over the last three days in St. Louis. Hey, Heather.

[Heather]

Good morning.

[Radio Host (Burt)]

How are you?

[Heather]

Hello. I'm good, thanks.

[Radio Host (Burt)]

So where we're at in the story now, Charlie is telling us that he ends up calling your sister to find out if Scott, the ex fiance that you've been rumored to be hanging out with in St. Louis, is gonna be at the restaurant. She says yes. Okay, that's where we're at.

[Heather]

First of all, Scott, who I will confirm is my ex fiance, he was at the party, and there was definitely a reason for that. He came to the birthday party and we have been friendly lately. I will explain the reason to you. My sister Leah, who Charlie had talked to on the phone, she started dating Scott, and they went on a couple dates. And the past six months, it became more of a serious thing.

[Friend 1]

Okay, when you say seeing Scott, you're meaning seeing him at family functions because he's now your sister's boyfriend.

[Heather]

Exactly. I mean, there's no romantic involvement between me and Scott.

[Radio Host (Burt)]

That would make sense to me if we didn't get the call from the co worker saying that you were hanging out with him for months.

[Heather]

Oh, right, right. That's the next thing. I guess I should clear Up. I guess it's probably why Kelly thought that somehow me and Scott were dating. I happened to be telling of my best friend at work having a conversation with her about this whole thing that my sister's now dating Scott. And Kelly must have. I don't know. I guess she must have picked up this was a conversation that we were having, I guess. And, you know, she started to put two and two together and then ended up overreacting a little bit.

[Friend 1]

She said that you were planning on moving from Atlanta to St. Louis.

[Heather]

You know what? She must have heard that my sister is moving back into St. Louis now, save a little money and stay with my parents. And that's what I was telling my best friend. You know, I was telling her just what my sister's plans were. And, I mean, I mentioned that I was going there for Thanksgiving and staying there. She's been eve sleep. So that's why. I mean, I guess that's what started this whole thing, that she thought that, you know, I would be moving back. And that's not true. She just must have heard bits and pieces. I don't know how she heard it, but.

[Radio Host (Burt)]

Okay, so either way, with all this circulating and everything, we still don't know what happens at the restaurant. Exactly.

[Heather]

All right, well, let's move on to the restaurant. I did find out that Charlie was going to make a proposal that day. And I found out I got messages on my phone as well.

[Radio Host (Burt)]

So you had friends that were listening to the show?

[Heather]

Of course, yeah.

[Radio Host (Burt)]

And they called you?

[Heather]

Mm. And actually, I did. I called Charlie, but, you know, I got his voicemail, obviously, and I wasn't able to talk to him. And now, you know, I found out that he did call my sister. So I got a little panicky myself, so I decided that I, you know, I needed to get in contact with him. So I just. I left a little early, and I went to the restaurant early where the party was going to be. I talked to the manager, and he did confirm that Charlie was going to propose that day. And I just waited for Charlie. So basically he got there, I pulled him aside, and I said, maybe we should go drinks or something and just talk about this all.

[Radio Host (Burt)]

Okay, so you pull him aside?

[Heather]

And I explained to him. I said I knew about Posal today. I knew he was going to try to do it. And I basically said that I didn't want him to go through with it today or that day only because I felt like I had been ruined. The special quality had been taken from it because I found out he couldn't match. Even though I wasn't ready eight months ago in Seattle in this romantic setting and space needle, like, all that romantic quality. But I found out and just, you know, even with the banner and everything else he was planning, it just wouldn't be as special to me.

[Friend 1]

Kind of a buzzkill.

[Radio Host (Burt)]

Yeah. Charlie, how are you feeling about things, man?

[Charlie]

Actually, if you guys have a couple minutes, I got a couple things to say.

[Radio Host (Burt)]

Floor is yours, dude. Can't stop you now.

[Charlie]

Heather.

[Heather]

Mm. Yes.

[Charlie]

Well, you know, it is amazing that days, months, years went by and I was able to survive without you in my life. I realize now that the day I met you, I was born. And I cannot imagine even one minute not having you in my world or one day holding you in my arms. I will wait forever for you, and that's what it takes, because your love is worth my eternity. But please don't make me wait. I mean, I hope today that you will say yes. When I ask you out there, will you parent me?

[Heather]

Of course I will.

[Radio Host (Burt)]

Wow. If you just said, no, man, no more air time. No more air time.

[Friend 1]

It was like a John Mayer song, dude.

[Radio Host (Burt)]

What a story you have to tell your kids, man.

[Charlie]

Heather.

[Heather]

Yes?

[Charlie]

You know, you know the dresser right next to the bed on the right side? You see that little box right next to the radio?

[Heather]

Oh, my God.

[Charlie]

Open that.

[Heather]

How did you get this here? Oh, my goodness. Oh, it's the ring of. What's it look like? Yeah. Oh, my gosh. It's beautiful.

[Charlie]

Can you go to your window, My living room, and look outside on the street?

[Heather]

Charlie's full of surprises. Oh, my gosh. I'm so a little shaky right now, Mr. Planner.

[Radio Host (Burt)]

Serious?

[Heather]

If I could get my fiance to plan dinner, I'm excited. Oh, my God. How are you planning these things? There is a enormous stretch black limo.

[Charlie]

Pack a bag. And I already called your boss, and the limo driver had been listening, so if you were sitting down, none of this would happen. But you have the day off and get in the limo and I will meet you in half an hour. But pack a bag.

[Radio Host (Burt)]

Where are you guys going?

[Charlie]

That's a surprise.

[Radio Host (Burt)]

You can't do that. You can't do that. Well, again, keep in touch with us. Let us know what the date and everything is, and be in touch.

[Charlie]

Okay?

[Heather]

Definitely. Hey, Charlie.

[Charlie]

Yes.

[Heather]

Way to go, big guy.

[Radio Host (Burt)]

Nice job, dude.

[Zyn Nicotine Announcer]

Good job.

[Charlie]

Thank you.

[Radio Host (Burt)]

Congratulations. We'll see you later.

[Heather]

Thank you very much.

[Charlie]

Thank you, man.

[Radio Host (Burt)]

So if you were listening to the last hour of the Burt show, then you heard everything about Charlie. And Heather. Or at least you think you heard everything about Charlie and Heather, because we're gonna update you on both of them next. And this thing takes another turn. The Burt Show.

[Friend 1]

Dude, did you order the new iPhone 17 Pro? Got it from Verizon, the best 5G network in America. I never look so good.

[Heather]

You look the same.

[Friend 1]

But with this camera, everything looks. Especially me.

[Heather]

You haven't changed your hair in 15 years. Selfies check, please.

[Verizon Announcer]

With Verizon, get the new iPhone 17 Pro, designed to be the most powerful iPhone ever. Plus a new iPad and Apple One. No trade in needed. Offer ends November 5th with a new line on Unlimited Ultimate Best 5G Swords. Root Metrics Data United States, 2020 25. All rights reserved. Additional terms apply for all offers. See verizon.com for details.

[Zyn Nicotine Announcer]

If you're a smoker or vaper ready to make a change, you really only need one good reason. But with Zynn Nicotine Pouches, you'll discover many good reasons. Zynn is America's number one nicotine pouch brand. Plus Zynn offers a robust rewards program. There are lots of options when it comes to nicotine satisfaction, but there's only one Zyn. Check out zyn.com find to find Zyn at a store near you. This product contains nicotine. Nicotine is an addictive chemical.

[Radio Host (Burt)]

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[Julie Koehler]

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[Radio Host (Burt)]

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[Friend 1]

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[Radio Host (Burt)]

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