Vault: Closure Call

Summary

The Bert Show — Vault: Closure Call

Host: Bert and the Bert Show Cast
Date: November 3, 2025

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Episode Overview

This emotional episode of The Bert Show centers on their first ever “Closure Call.” Listener Ben seeks answers from his ex, Julie, after her abrupt breakup ended their two-year relationship with only a brief letter and no clear reason. The show orchestrates a raw, on-air conversation between Ben and Julie in hopes of finally providing Ben the clarity and closure he needs to move on.

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Key Discussion Points and Insights

1. Setting the Stage: Why Closure?

• Ben’s Dilemma:
  After a two-year relationship, Ben was left without explanation when Julie moved to Chicago and ended things suddenly with just a short letter (03:06). He feels unable to move on without understanding why.
• Host’s Framing:
  The team emphasizes the emotional importance of closure, suggesting that understanding “why” is sometimes the hardest part of breaking up (01:10).

2. Ben Reflects Before the Call

• Ben expresses his emotional state: "It's just about the only thing I did do is, you know, sort of theorize in my head what she may or may not say, what answers I may or may not want to hear." (04:01)
• His current feeling is “frustration,” not anger — he just wants clarity (04:46).

3. The On-Air Reunion: Ben & Julie Talk

• Julie’s Perspective:
  Julie admits the long-distance took a heavy toll on her, especially once she realized she felt less stressed apart (07:16). She says, “I just realized that I wasn't stressed out… I really enjoyed that.” (07:16)
• Reason for Letter:
  Julie says she wrote instead of called because she was “so upset and conflicted” and wanted to avoid being talked out of her decision (08:08).
• Ben’s Need for More:
  Ben pushes for more, explaining that practical things like distance don’t feel like sufficient cause to end matters “of the heart” (09:29): “Even if it did say that, to me, that's just not good enough when it comes to matters of the heart.”
• No Third Party Involved:
  Julie repeatedly denies that anyone else was involved at the time (10:16, 10:57).
• Julie’s Regret and Honesty:
  While Julie stands by her method, she admits, “I realized it wasn’t enough for him, but honestly, it was the right way for me.” (11:17)

4. The Emotional Standoff

• Ben’s Struggle:
  Ben doesn’t understand why she’d “choose something over someone,” as their relationship seemed worth fighting for (11:41):
  “At the very least, you owe me a reason why… why these things are taking precedent over me.”
• Julie’s Painful Admission:
  When pressed, Julie admits: “Maybe I realized I didn’t want to spend the rest of my life with him.” (14:21)

5. Hopes, Finalities, and New Realities

• Possibility of Reconciling?
  Ben hopes for a chance, saying, “I’d be lying if I said that I didn’t love you still, too,” and wonders if reconciliation is on the table (14:49, 15:50).
• Julie’s New Life:
  The truth comes out: Julie is currently dating someone new and brought him to Atlanta for the weekend (18:12, 18:38).
• Definitive Closure:
  Julie finally says, “I love you, but I’m just not in love with you,” and confirms Ben should move on (18:20).
  Ben responds with resignation: “We will not be talking to each other.” (18:49)

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Ben (on his feelings):
  “Frustration.” (04:46)
  “I can't be angry at her… I don't know why she did it.” (05:03)
• Julie (on long distance):
  “All of a sudden, I just realized that I wasn't stressed out… I really enjoyed that.” (07:16)
• Julie (on her breakup method):
  “I wanted to be able to make my own decision and not have to deal with that, because then why would you want to be with me if I wouldn't want to be with you?” (11:17)
• Ben (calling for honesty):
  “Why would you choose a thing over a person?” (11:41)
  “That's not how I operate emotionally…” (11:53)
• Julie (when pushed further):
  “Maybe I realized I didn’t want to spend the rest of my life with him.” (14:21)
• Ben (accepting closure):
  “No, that's it. I'm totally gonna move on. We will not be talking to each other.” (18:49)
• Ben (on healing):
  “I feel pretty bad right now, but, you know, it's better than, you know, six months from now still wondering what her problem was. She made that pretty evident to us, I think. Done deal.” (20:23)

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Timestamps of Important Segments

• 01:39: Ben’s original call recap and context
• 03:32: Ben joins live; describes his turmoil
• 04:46: Ben sums up his feelings as “frustration”
• 06:42: Ben requests honesty from Julie
• 07:16: Julie explains why she ended it
• 08:08: Julie describes her reasons for writing rather than calling
• 09:29: Ben challenges Julie’s explanation
• 10:16: Julie denies the presence of another man
• 11:17: Julie justifies her method as “right for me”
• 12:36: Host presses Julie if she had fallen out of love
• 14:21: Julie admits, “Maybe I realized I didn’t want to spend the rest of my life with him.”
• 15:50: Ben questions if this could ever be different
• 16:49: Ben and Julie’s last real exchange
• 18:12: Julie acknowledges she is seeing someone new
• 18:49: Ben accepts it’s over
• 20:23: Ben reflects on the pain and necessity of closure

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Tone & Language

The tone is raw, honest, and sometimes painfully direct—typical of real relationship talk. The hosts balance empathy for Ben’s heartbreak with a push for honesty, while Julie’s explanations alternate between defensiveness, vulnerability, and finality. The conversation remains respectful but emotionally charged, full of awkward pauses, blunt truths, and difficult admissions.

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Takeaways

• Closure isn’t always clean: Ben got the truth, but at great emotional cost.
• Breaking up is rarely mutual: One person may need more than the other is willing (or able) to give.
• Moving on sometimes means asking—and hearing—hard truths: For Ben, knowing Julie’s moved on, despite saying she still has love for him, finally lets him start to heal.

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Summary:
This Closure Call delivers a poignant, real-life lesson in relationship endings. Ben’s journey from confusion to (painful) clarity is a reminder that sometimes closure isn’t the answer you want—but it’s what you need.

Transcript

[A]

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Got it from Verizon, the best 5G network in America. I never looked so good.

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[B]

Well, this was last November when I got the letter, so.

[A]

The letter. All right, give us some history on the relationship leading right up to the letter.

[B]

Who sent.

[A]

What is that?

[B]

My actual friend's name is Julie, and we were dating for about two years. And last July, she had moved to Chicago. She works in marketing, so she had had a transfer in her job. And I obviously still lived in Atlanta, and we were doing the long distance thing, but we would see each other roughly two or three times a month. And I would go out there, she would come back to Atlanta, and things were fine. I didn't expect any turbulence whatsoever. And then in November, actually in October, she stopped taking my calls. Like, I couldn't get a hold of her. She wouldn't call me. It was just the strangest thing. And then final in November, this letter shows up in the mailbox saying that it's over. And basically, I mean, I wish I could elaborate on it more but that's pretty much all I got out of it, was that it's over and I really didn't get a reason why. And you know, she had an Atlanta phone number that I was trying to call. But you know, by the time late November rolled around, you know, I would try calling that number and it was cut off. So I'm thinking maybe she probably obtained a Chicago number. You know, maybe you guys can help me figure this out, because I sure can.

[A]

Okay, so that was Ben yesterday and we told him before he got off with us that we already had contacted Julie and she had already agreed to come on, but we were going to wait a day. So Ben now has been stewing on this for 24 hours and hasn't talked to her obviously since what he say? November, something like that. November was when he got the letter. So he hasn't talked to her since before that. She's actually on hold and she is kind of locked and ready to go. But let's get Ben on first. Hey Ben.

[B]

Hey guys, how are you? I'm alright.

[A]

Did you get any sleep last night?

[B]

A little bit. Little bit.

[A]

It must be like an emotional roller coaster for you the last 24 hours because it's nothing else. At least you're gonna get, you know, like some closure on this thing.

[B]

Yeah, exactly. That's what I'm looking forward to either way, even though I don't know, I don't know what to expect from her. But we'll see.

[A]

Did you do any more reflecting over like the last 24 hours to try to figure out? Okay, I bet she says blank.

[B]

Yeah, I did. That's just about the only thing I did do is, you know, sort of theorize in my head what she may or may not say, what answers I may or may not want to hear.

[A]

So I made the suggestion to you yesterday to have like your best questions ready to go right off the bat because who knows how long she wants to go through this uncomfortable experience, you know. So do you have those ready to go?

[B]

Yeah, I have a few that I've prepared. So I hope she's ready for those because I mean, I'm not. I'm kind of in an all business mindset right now. I just want to. I want information, you know, I want to find out what her mindset is.

[A]

So, Ben, if you could sum up your feelings for Julie in one word right now, what would it be?

[B]

Frustration.

[A]

You're like, past the, like, part of a breakup where you're like, ang. Not angry, but just like grief stricken. And now you're into like the frustration or can you even. Could he even say anger?

[B]

I can't be angry at her. I mean, I really like her and it has only been six months. I mean, that's just it. I can't say that I'm angry at her because I don't know why she did it. So I don't know if I have anything to be angry about. What I am is just confused and frustrated. That's why we're doing this.

[A]

All right, let me just say this before I pick up the phone with Julie is that once she comes on, I'm going to tell her that you've already agreed to this and you just want 100% honesty. Now what she may say is really going to hurt, but you're going to walk away from this. And you have told us this. You'd rather know the truth and be hurt than just still have this kind of open ended thing going on.

[B]

Right? Right.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

All right, I'm ready.

[A]

Hey, Julie. Hi. Hi. Ben, you want to say hey to Julie?

[B]

Hello, Julie.

[C]

Hi.

[A]

All right, Julie, you've been on hold listening to everything happen here. And Ben in essence has said that rather than have this open ended kind of like feeling that he has right now, he has no, really no good idea on why you broke up. And at least the way he related it to us yesterday, it doesn't sound like you really gave him closure on it. You sent him a letter. It was less than a paragraph. The phone calls just kind of started going away. And this guy just needs to move on and he needs closure. So, Ben, just tell her. Basically what I relate to you is that you just want honesty here and then you can move on.

[B]

Yeah, that's it. I mean, in order to sort of rest my head over this thing, Julia, I'd kind of just like to hear some version or some reason, you know, why you made the decision that you did. Because your letter was just very vague. And then, you know, I wasn't able to communicate with you over the phone, so I was kind of just left strung up and dry. So this is your opportunity to explain to me, you know, why you made this decision.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Well.

[C]

The long distance thing was really hard on me. You know, I was really on the fence about what I wanted to do. I felt like I Kind of need to make a decision about our relationship. And then, you know, there's that six weeks in the fall where we didn't really see each other very much. And all of a sudden, I just realized that I wasn't stressed out. You know, I wasn't having to worry about travel plans and rearranging things and you coming up and me going down there and all that kind of stuff. And it wasn't, you know, weighing on my mind all the time. And I really enjoyed that. You know, you don't.

[A]

You don't think you could have explained that to him when he stopped calling him or even in the letter?

[C]

I did. I mean, okay, the whole. The whole point. The reason why I wrote the letter was because I was so upset and I was so conflicted about the way I felt because, I mean, Ben and I've been together for two years, and I just knew that if I was on the phone with him, that he was probably gonna try to talk me into staying. And I didn't want him to do that. I wanted to just be able to make the decision and say that it was over without him giving me conflict about it or me wavering at all. You know, I mean, like, I was legitimately upset. I have to say that. I know it seems like I'm just some cold person who writes a letter.

[B]

But the whole point was that the.

[C]

Letter was to the point I said exactly what I wanted to say without any muss or fuss. And it wasn't vague. It was specific. Ben. It just probably wasn't as much as you wanted. But it was specific.

[A]

Ben, you've probably read that letter, I'm guessing roughly 25,000 times. Do you feel like what she's saying is honest? That it said it right there in the paragraph? It was only a paragraph, but it does say it was about the long distance thing.

[B]

Well, even if. I mean, yeah, I did read it a lot. I don't have it still, so I can't read back for verbatim. But even if it did say that, to me, that's just not good enough when it comes to matters of the heart. You know, distances. I don't understand it. I guess, even if that's the case, I mean, why was everything okay in the beginning? And then all of a sudden, in a certain point, things weren't okay with her. You know, we were doing fine. I even had plans to move out there. It's not like the problem wasn't going to be reconciled or as if we weren't, you know, trying to make an effort to reconcile the distance we were. And I thought it was worth it to, you know, stay in it and keep going. And evidently, Julie, you didn't. So.

[A]

Julie, was there another guy involved at all?

[C]

No. No, not at all. I really just, you know, started to realize that it. My job. My job is really hard, and I was in a new city and things were complicated, and I was trying to figure things out and to deal with going back and forth was really hard.

[A]

So if before you made the decision to send him that letter, did you, like, maybe not another guy involved, but did you have any time with, like, one individual guy?

[B]

Like, was there anyone who was there.

[A]

Any time where you were, like, God, you know what?

[B]

Life would just be better in this.

[A]

City as a single person?

[C]

No, it wasn't about being single. If I wasn't, like. It wasn't like, oh, I can finally start dating somebody else. It was more just like I couldn't continue the way things had been with Ben.

[A]

Do you think you handled it in the right way?

[C]

Well, I realized that it wasn't enough for him, but honestly, it was the right way for me. You know, I didn't. All Ben would have done was tried to talk me into it, and that's not what I wanted. I wanted to be able to just make my own decision and not have to. To deal with that, because then why would you want to be with me if I wouldn't want to be with you?

[B]

Well, I don't if that's the case. But I'm. I mean, what this whole thing about is. We're trying to figure out why you don't want to be with me. That's what I'm. Because you never said anything. I mean, you can cite distance, you can cite my job is stressful, you can cite all these reasons, but when it comes down to it, you're choosing something else over me. And I think, you know, at the very least, you owe me a reason why. There's. Why these things are taking precedent over my. My heart and my, you know, me, basically, you know, why would you choose a thing over a person? I mean, I don't get it. I don't get it. That's not how. That's not how. That's how I operate emotionally, you know, and that's not how I thought about you in this relationship. So that's just. I don't know. That's my take on it. I would never choose something over someone, especially when that someone was so, you know, special to me.

[A]

Julie, let's. I Want to ask you a painful question. At the time that you decided that the relationship wasn't worth the effort because you were in Chicago, did you feel out of love with Ben at that point?

[C]

No, I. That was why it was so hard for me. I mean, I really loved him and I. I still do. And it's gonna take a really long time for me to get. To get over that, you know, but it just seems like, you know, a band aid that you just pull off really quick instead of taking that time and pulling out every single hair with it, you know, just. I wanted to just make it simple and quick and easy.

[A]

So you still love him?

[C]

Yeah, I do.

[A]

You know, that's not closure. Edge gonna open it up. That's not what we're looking for.

[C]

But I mean, you know, popping the stitches.

[A]

Oh, God. What? I guess, I guess, I guess. Julie, my view is that after two years, I mean, I just. You owe him more than that. Yeah. I just feel like, of course he had every right to try to talk you out of your decision because you've been together for two years. I. It just seems to me just very. I mean, I'm going to say a strong word, but selfish to just go and then write a two line to someone you've been with for two years and say. Because it would have just been hard, he would have tried to talk me out of it. I didn't want that right now. You know, I mean, I also question your definition of love, because if you really love somebody and you want to spend the rest of your life with them and you're really tied into them, then A, you don't handle things the way that you did, and B, you work out the distance thing.

[C]

Well, then maybe that's part of it. Maybe I realized I didn't want to spend the rest of my life with them.

[B]

Cool.

[A]

I mean, Ben, to me it just seems that you have evidence of how she handled it and how she handles things and how she handled you. So, you know, Ben, this is your time. I mean, I feel like we're asking the questions, but I mean, this is your time to get as much closure as you can. Although.

[B]

Well, I mean, yeah, I've been listening. I mean, Julie, you say you still love me. I don't know. I don't know what that means or how to think about that considering, you know, five months ago you wouldn't. You wouldn't return my calls. I couldn't get a hold of you. Changed up your phone number, but I don't know, maybe you can tell Me what that means. Does that mean that they're. I'd be lying if I said that I didn't love you still, too. And if that's how we both feel, then I don't understand why we can't be together. So maybe you can explain to me why or talk to me about the prospect of maybe reconciling at some point. Because I don't know. I don't know. I would never want distance or something like that or somebody transferring a job, you know? I mean, what if. Listen to this. What if we were married before that and then you got a job transfer? I mean, and for some reason we couldn't be together?

[C]

Would you bail if we were married?

[B]

It's not different. It's not different. It's not different. You commit to the prospect of being together right away. I mean, that's. That's what a courting. That's what a courtship is. That's what people date for. At least that's what I do. You know, I don't jump ship on somebody just because another prospect comes along. I make that person a priority. And if you're willing to do that with me, then I'm willing to talk about the possibility of reconciling. If not, then, you know, I have no choice but to absolutely go my separate way. And I was.

[C]

I was willing to make that for. You know, I did that for four months. I did it for four months going back and forth. And it really just started to take its toll on me, you know, and.

[B]

It wasn't hard for me.

[C]

I'm not saying it wasn't hard for you, Ben. I'm sure that it was. You know, I mean, you're here in Atlanta and you have nothing going on, and I'm there and I've got work and I'm sure it was hard for you, but I'm just. You know.

[B]

But you jumped ship anyway. I didn't.

[A]

I want to stop you right there for a second because, Julie, what I caught you say is you're here in Atlanta. Where are you right now, Julie?

[C]

I'm in Atlanta. Yeah, I came in before Easter for the weekend.

[B]

No call. All right.

[C]

I want. I just. I just got in late last night.

[B]

Well, not a very Holy Thursday. I mean, how long are you in town? Just for the weekend.

[C]

I'm leaving late on Sunday.

[A]

I think what you need to do here, you really need to, like. Because it's still. You're giving them, like, mixed messages here. And what this was supposed to be here is like letting him move On. So I'm gonna ask poignant questions here, all right. Are you happier now than you were, than when you were with Ben?

[C]

Yes.

[A]

Is there ever a chance that the two of you can get together again romantically?

[B]

Well.

[C]

I don't think so. And not right now, anyway.

[A]

Who are you dating? Someone in Chicago?

[C]

Yeah, I'm. I'm seeing someone in Chicago now.

[A]

Okay. Would your advice to Ben be Move on. Our relationship is over?

[C]

Yeah. Is, then. I love you, but I'm just not in love with you.

[A]

That was never said. Is. Is the guy. Is Chicago guy in Atlanta with you?

[C]

Yeah, he came with me a damn.

[A]

Well, Ben, your answer. Ben, there's the closure. Ben, is there really anything else you need to hear from that? I mean.

[B]

No, that's it. I'm totally gonna move on. We will not be. We will not be talking to each other.

[A]

All right. Sorry, Ben. Julia stunk. We're gonna let you go at this point, okay? Okay. Ben, is there anything else you want to say to Julie before we let her split?

[B]

Not a damn thing.

[A]

Oh, okay. All right. Julie, I really want to tell you I appreciate you coming on and being honest with him. I mean, you've done something good, even though it hurts.

[C]

Yeah. Thanks, guys.

[A]

Thank you. Bye, Julie. So, Ben, if I could ask you to sum up in one word your feelings for Julie now, what would it be?

[B]

I think she's not ready for a guy like me.

[A]

All right, good. All right. Good man. That was a good word.

[B]

I think she deserves a lesser man, and sounds like she's got one, so that's fine.

[A]

All right. I mean, I've already gotten emails for you. Seriously. I called it yesterday. I said women would be emailing to talk to Ben. So if producer Tracy can get your email address, I'll forward you the women that are interested. See, I'd stay away from you. Like, I'd stay way away from you if I was a woman right now. Because he's got time to get over. He needs time to get over this whole thing. He's kind of, like, wounded.

[B]

I'm gonna. I'm definitely gonna take some time to heal before I, you know, consider other prospects, because I don't want to, you know, I don't want to screw someone else up.

[A]

Right. Well, I mean, it was tough to hear, but at least was exactly what it was designed to do. Maybe you got the closure now that you didn't have the last couple of months. Hard to hear, but maybe you got it.

[B]

Yeah. No, you're absolutely right. I feel pretty bad right now, but, you know, it's better than, you know, six months from now. Still wondering, you know, what. What her problem was. She made that pretty evident to us, I think. Done deal.

[A]

All right.

[B]

All right, guys.

[A]

All right, Ben.

[B]

Thanks a lot. I appreciate it.

[A]

Okay. Happy Easter. See you now. Take care.

[B]

Bye.

[A]

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